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Old 2007-01-01, 16:52   Link #661
ShinNoNoir
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A classic
http://www.engrish.com/

Riddle game
http://deathball.net/notpron/

One liner listing
http://www.vegard.net/about/one-liners.php

LoTR meets WoW
http://www.expectnothing.com/pub/pos...d/0002k1cc.gif

Spoiler:
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Old 2007-01-02, 02:59   Link #662
Aoie_Emesai
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kayos View Post
Girlfriends are more expensive than a ps3, the poor guy doesn't even have a blanket!
I bet they are. I haven't had one in a bit. There's lots of chance for my at the campus though.
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Old 2007-01-08, 10:32   Link #663
Spectacular_Insanity
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Old joke...

Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton, and Al Gore were in an plane crash.

They're up in Heaven, and God's sitting on the great white throne. God addresses Al first. "Al, what do you believe in?"

Al replies, "Well, I believe I won that election, but that it was your will that I did not serve. And I've come to understand that now." God thinks for a second and says, "Okay, very good. Come and sit at my left."

God then addresses Bill. "Bill, what do you believe in?"

Bill replies, "I believe in forgiveness. I've sinned, but I've never held a grudge against my fellow man, and I hope no grudges are held against me."
God thinks for a second and says, "You are forgiven, my son. Come and sit at my right."

God then addresses Hillary. "Hillary, what do you believe in?"

"I believe you're in my chair."
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Old 2007-01-08, 10:42   Link #664
Spectacular_Insanity
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Death Clock

This you've all seen it before, but it's still amusing...

THE DEATH CLOCK!!!

My stats:

My BMI is 18 (damn I'm thin) and i was born 10/10/88, and so among other things, when I put the settings to sadistic, it says I'll die on July 22, 2025. w00t!!

On normal, I've got until 2062, same day. That's about 1,752,412,739 seconds from when I'm typing this.
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Old 2007-01-08, 14:50   Link #665
Aoie_Emesai
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Mine ^_^.

Friday, April 21, 2079
Seconds left to live...2,280,906,663.

S_I -im gonna die older than you. ^_^
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Old 2007-01-09, 10:43   Link #666
Spectacular_Insanity
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Yeah, well, I think EVERYONE'S going to die older than me, based on my friends' results on Death Clock. But that's not necessarily a good thing. I'd rather die a little younger than linger and waste away with Alzheimer's disease and dementia like my grandfather. That's not living, and it's really hard on relatives. I know from experience.

On a lighter note, at least I won't have to worry about global warming, terrorism and other crap when I'm dead!

On a complete tangent, the name of the band in Adult Swim's Metalocalypse is called Dethklok. (I think that's how it's spelled)
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Old 2007-01-09, 17:34   Link #667
Shay
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Join Date: Apr 2004
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Oh shit! I'm a gonna in 2025. 2014 on sadistic...
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Old 2007-01-09, 18:56   Link #668
x_Kotori_x
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Join Date: May 2006
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Wednesday October 23rd 2082

and alot of seconds to live

I have a long time then ~_~ unless im hit by a bus or something T_T
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Old 2007-01-09, 19:28   Link #669
felix
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Heh.. cheap.
x_Kotori_x if you play with it a lil' you'll notice that exept for the year and sadistic nothing else will change the value with more then 2 years/settings. So you're most likely just lotz younger the everybody else. ^_^

Also the script seems to be working on errors. tsk tsk tsk lol..

On a more positive note the seconds on the clock seem to be runing a lil' faster then normal seconds.

I saw a better one of these things a while back only it was a program not a web app, it was way more sneaky with the numbers (and no it was defenetly not random)
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Old 2007-01-10, 00:22   Link #670
monir
cho~ kakkoii
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Some of you might find this amusing (or not) which speaks volume about the risk involve in going to blind dates.
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Old 2007-01-10, 10:32   Link #671
Spectacular_Insanity
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That's just pathetic. ROFL. That's obviously a person with no life. Not to mention some1 who takes the internet far more seriously than it is meant to be or should be taken.
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Old 2007-01-15, 10:39   Link #672
Spectacular_Insanity
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*Bump*

Gah this thread must not die!!!

Stress Relief:
If you are having a tough day, here are 7 steps for relief.

1. Picture yourself lying on your belly on a warm rock that hangs out over a crystal clear stream.

2. Picture yourself with both your hands dangling in the cool running water.

3. Birds are sweetly singing in the cool mountain air.

4. No one knows your secret place.

5. You are in total seclusion from that hectic place called the world.

6. The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity.

7. The water is so crystal clear that you can easily make out the face of the person you are holding underwater.

See? It really does work. You're smiling already.
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Old 2007-01-15, 13:20   Link #673
OutPhase
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Aoie_Emesai View Post
Spoiler:

hahaha, people need a life ^_^. Less anime, more girlfriend. It's also work safe =).
Spoiler:


Also, I have a joke for you. How long did it the man with the high-speed internet connection have to wait for everything to load on this page?

Spoiler:
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Old 2007-01-19, 12:09   Link #674
Spectacular_Insanity
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A Letter to America

To the citizens of the United States of America,

In light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately.

Her Sovereign Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II, will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories (except Kansas , which she does not fancy), as from Monday next.

Your new prime minister, Tony Blair, will appoint a governor for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary.

Then look up "aluminium," and check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it.

2. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour', 'favour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix "-ize" will be replaced by the suffix "-ise."

3. You will learn that the suffix 'burgh' is pronounced 'burra'; you may elect to respell Pittsburgh as 'Pittsberg' if you find you simply can't cope with correct pronunciation.

4. Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels (look up "vocabulary"). Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is unacceptable and inefficient form of communication.

5.There is no such thing as " US English." We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of "-ize."

6. You will relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen", but only after fully carrying out Task #1 (see above).

7. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday. November 2nd will be a new national holiday, but to be celebrated only in England . It will be called "Come-Uppance Day."

8. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent.

Guns should only be handled by adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.

9. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. A permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

10. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and this is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean.

11. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric immediately and without the benefit of conversion tables.

Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.

12. The Former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling "gasoline") - roughly $6/US gallon. Get used to it.

13. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called "crisps." Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with mayonnaise but with vinegar.

14. Waiters and waitresses will be trained to be more aggressive with customers.

15. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all.

Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as "beer," and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as "Lager." American brands will be referred to as "Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine," so that all can be sold
without risk of further confusion.

16. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys.

Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters.

Watching Andie MacDowell attempt English dialogue in "Four Weddings and a Funeral" was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater.

17. You will cease playing American "football." There is only one kind of proper football; you call it "soccer".

Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies).

18. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the "World Series" for a game which is not played outside of America . Since only 2.1% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable.

19. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.

20. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due backdated to 1776.

Thank you for your co-operation.

John Cleese
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Old 2007-01-19, 20:18   Link #675
Danov
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Hehehehehe, this post about England taking over USA is hilarious! But I guess i woundn't think it so funny if I lived there...
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Old 2007-01-19, 22:01   Link #676
kayos
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Spectacular Insanity If you're going to post lame jokes at least keep it short. I've read the whole thing in hope that one might even make me smile. What a disappointment.
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Old 2007-01-19, 22:51   Link #677
jedinat
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kayos View Post
Spectacular Insanity If you're going to post lame jokes at least keep it short. I've read the whole thing in hope that one might even make me smile. What a disappointment.
Someone took it too seriously...
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Old 2007-01-19, 23:02   Link #678
kayos
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Oh no don't get me wrong, make fun of the U.S. as much as you want, just as long as it's funny. I just don't like reading half a page of post that doesn't go anyway and not even half way funny. It just felt like some cheap reeducation jokes. I apologize if I offended anyone, my comment tend to come out harsh sometimes.
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Old 2007-01-21, 03:48   Link #679
Aoie_Emesai
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Razer_2mb;
Also, I have a joke for you. How long did it the man with the high-speed internet connection have to wait for everything to load on this page?

Spoiler:
I don't get it, Razer.
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Old 2007-01-21, 13:01   Link #680
Spectacular_Insanity
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kayos View Post
Spectacular Insanity If you're going to post lame jokes at least keep it short. I've read the whole thing in hope that one might even make me smile. What a disappointment.
If you don't have anything nice to say.... start a blog.
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