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Old 2007-05-10, 09:00   Link #61
LoweGear
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With all the automobile references both in-canon and out of it, I think I may do one in the future I also spot an Acura reference...

And how could I miss the obvious C&C Red Alert reference in Ashton's skillset? O_O


Anyhow, I removed the spell list on Kay's main profile so make way for a more comprehensive spell profile for her, since I was rushed in making her profile, even though her concept and spell list had been around for quite some time ^^;;;

Here's Part One of her spells list, and a small intro and recap.

Spoiler for Length:
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Old 2007-05-10, 10:01   Link #62
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Quote:
Originally Posted by USB500 View Post
Gatekeepers... did you perhaps base Ashton on the Gatekeepers anime? Sorry, that's the only thing I'd like to ask since the word so stands out in the profile.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kha View Post
Being involved in Ashton's creation process, I know it's a car and aircraft reference. Care to elaborate, X?
*takes out a book labeled "Magical seals in the anime world- catalog"

for starters, i was thinking of an anti mid-type magic circle, since in the first installment that was pre-StrikerS, it was the major enemy that the group had to tackle- and since some of them have special devices that act as 'keys' to powerful, untapped forces- or should i say, the very essence of magic itself, i took the gatekeeper reference for the basing of the users- as 'keepers of the gates of forces' itself.

and for secondary reasons, we still have not determined what type Lutecia's circle is as well as the thought of mid-type and velka/belka-type may have a common ancestor circle- and that this 'third seal' is the 'bad one' of the 'siblings'

and honestly, some of the magic circles i've seen are too archaic to be used in the Nanoha universe- velka/belka-type is still okay- or should i say the best type of seal that melee weapons can use.

- I'm also thinking of any fan modifications to any of the canon characters
probably, a "'final fusion' Subaru" contest perhaps?
i'm open for firing squad sun/mon EDT
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Old 2007-05-10, 11:18   Link #63
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LoweGear View Post
With all the automobile references both in-canon and out of it, I think I may do one in the future I also spot an Acura reference...

And how could I miss the obvious C&C Red Alert reference in Ashton's skillset? O_O


Anyhow, I removed the spell list on Kay's main profile so make way for a more comprehensive spell profile for her, since I was rushed in making her profile, even though her concept and spell list had been around for quite some time ^^;;;

Here's Part One of her spells list, and a small intro and recap.

Spoiler for Length:
It was kinda hard to spot, considering that its rather old.

O_O Talk about 100% area awareness... And this is just 1 device. I wonder how the other 2 are going to build on her skills...

Just a little announcement. The Wall of Blue Cheese is going to get revised due to me never reading or even knowing the existence of the Nanoha novel. Now that I've read it, it has shown that my Fate's past ideas and basically all of the Pre-Season 1 Arc is totally out of whack with reality. Thanks to Loner for pointing it out before the damning bits made it to print in my friend's fic. Do you guys mind if I post the revised backstory here for critique for in-canon-ness? Onegai?
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Old 2007-05-10, 11:37   Link #64
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kha View Post
It was kinda hard to spot, considering that its rather old.

O_O Talk about 100% area awareness... And this is just 1 device. I wonder how the other 2 are going to build on her skills...

Just a little announcement. The Wall of Blue Cheese is going to get revised due to me never reading or even knowing the existence of the Nanoha novel. Now that I've read it, it has shown that my Fate's past ideas and basically all of the Pre-Season 1 Arc is totally out of whack with reality. Thanks to Loner for pointing it out before the damning bits made it to print in my friend's fic. Do you guys mind if I post the revised backstory here for critique for in-canon-ness? Onegai?
Old, yet still awesome considering. Gap Generators FTW!

On Kay's abilities... if you're considering trying to blackmail or extort someone, it's best to have ammo you can use beforehand And I think you meant the other device, not the other two

And go ahead on the revision, although not having read the novel myself it's gonna be hard spotting why parts of the BIG BLUE CHEESE would be edited out
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Old 2007-05-10, 12:12   Link #65
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LoweGear View Post
Old, yet still awesome considering. Gap Generators FTW!

On Kay's abilities... if you're considering trying to blackmail or extort someone, it's best to have ammo you can use beforehand And I think you meant the other device, not the other two

And go ahead on the revision, although not having read the novel myself it's gonna be hard spotting why parts of the BIG BLUE CHEESE would be edited out
Everything from Pre-S1 to A's is wrong. And there is no planet Velk; just a small Velka suburb. The new backstory would not resemble the old story at all. Most of the bits are being totally overhauled, and I think the newer version actually sounds less cheesy, convincingly darker but bloody cliche, considering the number of chars here that are uber-orphans that never knew their parents. Kha turned out to be too much like Superman, even though he technically went through a lot to get to where he is in StrikerS...
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Old 2007-05-10, 19:49   Link #66
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In the manga, the character's spells are given power, range, and area of effect ratings. Does anyone know how powerful a D-power ranked spell is, for example. Sorry if I'm being really vague here. : X

LoweGear: Very nice Starcraft reference (I think - Kaydarin are the crystals in Starcraft, right? ) The idea of an archaeologist mage is very neat, even if Yuuno already took it. Your character is the same concept, I presume, but it's very original with the various searching spells.
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Old 2007-05-10, 20:41   Link #67
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After some considerations, I decide to replace Eleanor with a more appropriate antagonist. It had to be done since I felt Eleanor was too soft to be the villain. The new character, on the other hand, has the attitude necessary to become the new bad guy (not including his high-ranked magical skill).

Snip: Every time he uses "Scorching Pillar" he will say "Oh really?" in sarcastic way.

@ LoweGear: I completely missed the Aston Martin (aren't they the same company that produced the Bond car?) and McDonnell Douglas references.

Kha, I I've posted Lyrical of Time's prologue. You ought to check the story (its link is at the fanfic thread).

EDIT:
Just updated profiles for Annabelle and the antagonist. Why I'm not revealing his name? Because I can?
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Old 2007-05-10, 23:36   Link #68
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My turn!

As a minor note, I created Gigantus after I started reading some of Daishi Prime's stories. I didn't create Kria until after I started reading this thread.

Spoiler for Kria and Gigantus:



And that's all I have on Kria. I need to create some more spells, but the basics are all there.

I also have an idea for an antagonist, but it will take a while to write him down.

Last edited by Pheonixfyre; 2007-05-22 at 10:56.
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Old 2007-05-10, 23:49   Link #69
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I really like your character Pheonixfyre. I enjoy these characters that have had to work harder than anyone else to get accomplish their goals and find alternatives instead of having everything handed to them. She looks like she's tough as nails too. She kind of seems similar to the character I did in that she receives a greater volume of magic to draw upon from a nonstandard method. Looks good.

I'll check your new antagonist later on USB500, but you should change Annabelle's last name to Gato.

Annabelle Gato, has a nice ring to it.
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Old 2007-05-10, 23:52   Link #70
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It’s kinda surprising no one got any of the references with Aria. I mean, one of the spells is named RSS Feed for god’s sake.

Anyway, that aside, here’s the 2nd “dead” member of the Gil Graham Girls.

Spoiler:
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Old 2007-05-11, 00:53   Link #71
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mow Yun View Post
In the manga, the character's spells are given power, range, and area of effect ratings. Does anyone know how powerful a D-power ranked spell is, for example. Sorry if I'm being really vague here. : X
Probably something weak, light, fast, short ranged and simple? I'm thinking Cross Mirage's lowest level spam shots being an example. Accel Shooter is also a spam spell but due to the control offered its higher I think.

Quote:
Originally Posted by USB500 View Post
After some considerations, I decide to replace Eleanor with a more appropriate antagonist. It had to be done since I felt Eleanor was too soft to be the villain. The new character, on the other hand, has the attitude necessary to become the new bad guy (not including his high-ranked magical skill).

Snip: Every time he uses "Scorching Pillar" he will say "Oh really?" in sarcastic way.

@ LoweGear: I completely missed the Aston Martin (aren't they the same company that produced the Bond car?) and McDonnell Douglas references.

Kha, I I've posted Lyrical of Time's prologue. You ought to check the story (its link is at the fanfic thread).

EDIT:
Just updated profiles for Annabelle and the antagonist. Why I'm not revealing his name? Because I can?
Oh okay. I'll take a look at that char once I get back from practical.

Yup AM made the Bond cars, and hence my recommendation for that car brand to be his name.

Oh! Yes I meant to comment. Read it yesterday, but then Epi6 sort of overrode everything.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pheonixfyre View Post
My turn!

As a minor note, I created Gigantus after I started reading some of Daishi Prime's stories. I didn't create Kria until after I started reading this thread.

Spoiler for Kria and Gigantus:



And that's all I have on Kria. I need to create some more spells, but the basics are all there.

I also have an idea for an antagonist, but it will take a while to write him down.
For a second I thought it was another support character and was about to comment that since they are all girls (including mine except Kha) lets assign them together in the Harem Squad under Squad Commander Erio Mondial, making Caro pink with envy.

For a technical expert her tactics are rather contradicting. Makes you wonder how she fixes stuff. I like her backstory too, and her will to fight is inspiring. Possible relations with Shario for going through the same technical school?

I've got several protagonists to offer, but it's hard to make a semi-weak loli protagonist when Nanoha's around. Anyone remembered my "Load Chain" outcry in another thread? That's her.

"DIE LAMER! MULTA MULTA TIMES!" - favorite warcry. *shudder*

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nightengale View Post
It’s kinda surprising no one got any of the references with Aria. I mean, one of the spells is named RSS Feed for god’s sake.

Anyway, that aside, here’s the 2nd “dead” member of the Gil Graham Girls.

Spoiler:
*sniff* aw...

To be honest, I like "wrong" hetero pairings like doc-patient, teacher-student, old-young, loli-shouta, etc, etc, as well as the standard types, as long as there aren't too many. Too bad she had to die...

But then the Tomino bit of me is cheering... The best way to develop character is experiencing death multa multa times.

I don't really see how to improve her, except maybe making a more indepth description of how she looks and dresses? Hobbies? I think that's what we're lacking at the moment. I shan't go into Blood type, favorite foods and trivia like that just yet, cos I only think of those bits when I'm about to use the char in a fic.
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Old 2007-05-11, 00:55   Link #72
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This post has been hijacked and changed from its original form, to serve as an archive of stories by dkellis.

LYRICAL BABEL
(Working Title)

"So, DK, why not try writing a fanfic with only original characters, and see how far you can get?"

Original Characters

37th Criminal Investigation And Apprehension department
  • Enforcer Major Nova Alto
  • Enforcer Captain Rancer LaSalle
  • Enforcer Lieutenant Ivey de Lorien
  • Enforcer Corporal Reiz Astra

8th Information Archive Retrieval department
  • Librarian Captain "Hurricane" Halley Rainier
  • Librarian Private May Shelby


Unnamed Investigation Unit (currently attached to the 37th CIAA)
  • Investigator Sergeant Laura Veiron
  • Investigator Private Luna Veiron


Apertura
  • Vincent DeVaux
  • Talia Hamilton AKA Galatea

Children of Babel
  • Zachariah Aarons


Stories

Lyrical Melancholy
Lyrical Rage
Not Started Yet


Lyrical Envy
Not Started Yet


Miscellaneous Notes
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Old 2007-05-11, 01:08   Link #73
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Good question. In fact, my own character does not actually have anything to do in relation with most of the events in the NanohaVerse (well, not yet anyway, as the veil of uncertainty in StrikerS makes it impossible to create a story that wouldn't be contradicted later by canon). You bring up a good point in the fact that even without trying to fit in to the universe you're trying to tie your character into, the very act of creating the personalities and background of a character is fun in itself. In fact, simply thinking up all the possibilities you can put in your character can be fun in itself, even if you never plan on writing them down or showing them off in fanfiction.

And out of all the characters here, Ivey seems the most fun character here so far. And what's wrong with writing a story about her? Use the Nanohaverse as a base, then weave the story around YOUR CHARACTER, not the universe she inhabits in. Look at F/SN: Despite supposedly taking place in the same world as Tsukihime, both can tell their own stories without interfering with one another, It just so happens that both stories are linked by the world they take place in.

*After reading more of Ivey's profile, I think she'll get along pretty well with Kay *
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Old 2007-05-11, 01:16   Link #74
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Personally, I for one is never too fond of creating OCs that integrate themselves into the story in a sector where it can either off the canon, or depending on which, feel "off" in the sense of how the story progresses in some ways. Those of you reading my vapor-background fics on the GGGs can pretty much tell that I prefer creating OCs that somehow supports the current existence of another character that is promptly set in canon, and such.

lol at Ivey's dream though. Though in some ways, Ivey's character almost sound dangerously like Gon Freecs and Anakin Skywalker...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kha View Post
*sniff* aw...

To be honest, I like "wrong" hetero pairings like doc-patient, teacher-student, old-young, loli-shouta, etc, etc, as well as the standard types, as long as there aren't too many. Too bad she had to die...

But then the Tomino bit of me is cheering... The best way to develop character is experiencing death multa multa times.

I don't really see how to improve her, except maybe making a more indepth description of how she looks and dresses? Hobbies? I think that's what we're lacking at the moment. I shan't go into Blood type, favorite foods and trivia like that just yet, cos I only think of those bits when I'm about to use the char in a fic.

Nice to see you liking it...both ways. :P

Character descriptions huh? I'll see what I can do. I normally envision characteral image subtext from a collage of different faces I see in arts in anime, manga or such, and sometimes, I draw them out. Maybe I can draw something and post it here. Who knows? Anyway, I'll think about it, since being a thought-for-the-count writing, I didn't really think out too much about her quirks and jump to the core of her personality, which is what I did with A.R.I.A as well.
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Old 2007-05-11, 01:17   Link #75
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nightengale View Post
It’s kinda surprising no one got any of the references with Aria. I mean, one of the spells is named RSS Feed for god’s sake.

Anyway, that aside, here’s the 2nd “dead” member of the Gil Graham Girls.

Spoiler:
NOOOOO! Why she has to die! She has too much good potential to expand!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Timeless Enigma View Post
I'll check your new antagonist later on USB500, but you should change Annabelle's last name to Gato.

Annabelle Gato, has a nice ring to it.
Uhh.... why should I?
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Old 2007-05-11, 01:25   Link #76
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Uhh.... why should I?
It's a play on an antagonist from Gundam 0080... or was it 0083...
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Old 2007-05-11, 01:27   Link #77
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NOOOOO! Why she has to die! She has too much good potential to expand!

Uhh.... why should I?
Because it's the good characters that typically get the axe

And Timeless, let the mecha fanboys take care of the mecha references...

GAATOO!!!!!!
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Old 2007-05-11, 01:38   Link #78
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LoweGear View Post
Because it's the good characters that typically get the axe
Oh, bummer.



Quote:
Originally Posted by Timeless Enigma View Post
It's a play on an antagonist from Gundam 0080... or was it 0083...
Quote:
Originally Posted by LoweGear View Post
And Timeless, let the mecha fanboys take care of the mecha references...

GAATOO!!!!!!
both of you are now scaring me.

Okay, I changed Anna's family name to Gato. Does that make any difference?

Just read his profile on Wikipedia, and I fear the worst...

I see if I can post my third MGLN's OC here, though I must warn you firsthand that it has massive spoilers.
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Old 2007-05-11, 02:08   Link #79
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One problem I have with Ivey is that I've made her too, well, odd in terms of personality. She'd be the "main character" of the story in much the same way Haruhi is the "main character" of MoHS: she's the one with plenty of screentime, but the one whom the audience is actually supposed to identify with is likely to be yet another character who's the tsukkomi to Ivey's bokke. (In fact, I can feel another Original Character idea coming on...) I realize that this may not actually be necessary, but my writing style is too ingrained towards the Serious Put-Upon Narrator (even if it's third-person).

This would work better if there were a larger cast to play off each other's quirks, and while we already have a pre-made cast in the canon crew, this brings up the problem of not actually having an excuse (that isn't completely contrived, anyway) for Ivey to interact with Nanoha and co. for any length of time.

On another note, I've mentioned a few problems I came across when creating a character, and I'd like to elaborate on them here:

- Age. Big one. The Nanoha-verse is filled with super-geniuses at prepubescent ages, such that if I make a character a reasonable mid-twenties, she will likely be shunted to the side as being "too old" to interact with the main cast, who are actually too young. A nineteen-year old may or may not have the same frame of references as a twenty-six-year old, even if that nineteen-year old is the head of a division.

So I have to make a young character, as the Nanoha-verse creators did (Subaru and Teana are just sixteen; I feel old, and I'm only twenty-four; I own coins that are older than sixteen years old). This is not a Bad Thing, as my CCS fanfics would attest: I have a tendency to create young kids with snarky worldviews and overpowered destinies. But still, my mind rebels.

- Locations, both of origin and of occupation. We know that Genya and Ginga are in the 108th something, which implies one hundred and seven more, but with divisions being made and removed and merged, there may be something like just seven left or something. And we don't know what any of those other departments do. I want to have Ivey in a competent but slightly undesirable department whose official capacity is in investigating and apprehending middle-ranking criminals: what is the unit name?

Also, we have Earth. And we have Midchilda. And... we know nothing about any other worlds. Earth is the "97th Non-Administered World", which implies, once again, 96 more. And then there are other worlds which are Administered, which I would assume means under TSAB jurisdiction. Which still tells us nothing, even about what being under TSAB jurisdiction means.

- Timeline affecting screentime. Now, I admit that this may be moot by the time StrikerS ends, but for now, it is tentatively valid.

StrikerS takes place ten years after A's (or most of the events in it, anyway). Any children in StrikerS were not in A's. Any children in A's are now teenagers at least. The dynamics have changed.

Anyone on Earth will not have much "screentime", so to speak, in StrikerS. For example, let's say I want to create a character who has a crush on Fate. He's not magical, and he's just an acquaintance at most to her.

In A's, this character is most likely Fate's (and Nanoha's) classmate, and from Earth. In StrikerS, this character is most likely a Midchildan working in the TSAB. I cannot easily write a character from Earth who has a crush on Fate in StrikerS, since that would require him to travel all the way to Midchilda for some reason or other, which would probably mean that he has magical talent of some sort.

So if I want to make a StrikerS character, I have to make him or her Midchildan, or something like that. The "mundane from Earth" route is, if not closed, then made very difficult. (Heck, I don't even know if I can write in Arisa and Suzuka, much less a Random Friend.)

- References. We know that they're there. Subaru is more or less a walking mecha reference. But how blatant should they be? Should it just be in feel and vague obscurities, or should it be named outright?

After all this whining, I'll have to thank anyone who read all that, and ask: how would you solve the above problems? Or do you have any comments on them?
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Old 2007-05-11, 02:26   Link #80
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dkellis View Post
On another note, I've mentioned a few problems I came across when creating a character, and I'd like to elaborate on them here:

- Age. Big one. The Nanoha-verse is filled with super-geniuses at prepubescent ages, such that if I make a character a reasonable mid-twenties, she will likely be shunted to the side as being "too old" to interact with the main cast, who are actually too young. A nineteen-year old may or may not have the same frame of references as a twenty-six-year old, even if that nineteen-year old is the head of a division.

So I have to make a young character, as the Nanoha-verse creators did (Subaru and Teana are just sixteen; I feel old, and I'm only twenty-four; I own coins that are older than sixteen years old). This is not a Bad Thing, as my CCS fanfics would attest: I have a tendency to create young kids with snarky worldviews and overpowered destinies. But still, my mind rebels.
I don't really know why age is a problem... if you're making a TV series, sure you'll have execs saying she's "too old", despite only being in their twenties... but we are making our own creations, and if we don't think they're too old, then they're not. In real life, we see people from different generations working as colleagues in the same workplace. And on differing viewpoints, you can have two people with differing ages having comparatively similar perspectives, it just depends on what their background is.

Quote:
- Locations, both of origin and of occupation. We know that Genya and Ginga are in the 108th something, which implies one hundred and seven more, but with divisions being made and removed and merged, there may be something like just seven left or something. And we don't know what any of those other departments do. I want to have Ivey in a competent but slightly undesirable department whose official capacity is in investigating and apprehending middle-ranking criminals: what is the unit name?

Also, we have Earth. And we have Midchilda. And... we know nothing about any other worlds. Earth is the "97th Non-Administered World", which implies, once again, 96 more. And then there are other worlds which are Administered, which I would assume means under TSAB jurisdiction. Which still tells us nothing, even about what being under TSAB jurisdiction means.
Well, if they don't provide you with that info, and if there's no sign that they ever will... then make info yourself, play around with the possibilities afforded you. Since there's 96 more worlds they have yet to shed light on, that means 96 more world possibilities that you can tinker with. And who says Earth is the last number on TSAB's map? Maybe there's ALOT more worlds out there that you can think of.

Quote:
- Timeline affecting screentime. Now, I admit that this may be moot by the time StrikerS ends, but for now, it is tentatively valid.

StrikerS takes place ten years after A's (or most of the events in it, anyway). Any children in StrikerS were not in A's. Any children in A's are now teenagers at least. The dynamics have changed.

Anyone on Earth will not have much "screentime", so to speak, in StrikerS. For example, let's say I want to create a character who has a crush on Fate. He's not magical, and he's just an acquaintance at most to her.

In A's, this character is most likely Fate's (and Nanoha's) classmate, and from Earth. In StrikerS, this character is most likely a Midchildan working in the TSAB. I cannot easily write a character from Earth who has a crush on Fate in StrikerS, since that would require him to travel all the way to Midchilda for some reason or other, which would probably mean that he has magical talent of some sort.

So if I want to make a StrikerS character, I have to make him or her Midchildan, or something like that. The "mundane from Earth" route is, if not closed, then made very difficult. (Heck, I don't even know if I can write in Arisa and Suzuka, much less a Random Friend.)
I admit, all I can do with this problem is skirt around it. Like I did with my character, she's from the 96th Administrated World who rarely has any contact with canon characters, and thus makes all the above points moot.

Quote:
- References. We know that they're there. Subaru is more or less a walking mecha reference. But how blatant should they be? Should it just be in feel and vague obscurities, or should it be named outright?
That would depend on how many references you do want to put in... for some people (like me), references are a good easter egg to find in a character profile or series, since it connects you to something familiar. Hell, one can say that we have arrived at a time when it would be pretty difficult to create a new character without unwittingly referencing an object from an earlier work.
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