AnimeSuki Forums

Saint X · 2011-10-30, 05:30

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eratas123

@ Zero - I just got a new idea for a draft, tell me what you think.

Spoiler:

Dr. ? : Hello, you are currently in a Yellow Zone, would you please go back to where your zone is?

N: But, but...

Dr. ?: Unfortunately the Admiral is not with us so you cannot stay here for long- and if i remember, you are not under Naval Command, but under the Air Forces, I suggest that you move away now or face court-martial under the Initiative Code instead of the Bureau Code for violation of Zoning Rules and Mutual Interference.

yeah someone is committing a zoning violation right now

oh look another page claim.

Yachiyo · 2011-10-30, 06:03

Need a little help here

Spoiler for Everything is Radiant:

Can anyone suggest something next to this event? Please

EDIT: They're in the classroom

Eratas123 · 2011-10-30, 06:06

Quote:

Originally Posted by Yachiyo

Need a little help here

Spoiler for Everything is Radiant:

Can anyone suggest something next to this event? Please

How about Aden fainting from exhaustion and being carried back to his room/the clinic?

Yachiyo · 2011-10-30, 06:10

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eratas123

How about Aden fainting from exhaustion and being carried back to his room/the clinic?

As much as possible I'm avoiding drama, but I'll try to make it less dramatic

since Laura will be on his side

Eratas123 · 2011-10-30, 06:12

Quote:

Originally Posted by Yachiyo

As much as possible I'm avoiding drama, but I'll try to make it less dramatic

since Laura will be on his side

It's not really dramatic. It's used a lot in comedy where the protagonist gets tricked by his friend into doing something exhausting before calling them a prick and fainting. After that they wake up somewhere else, usually something stupid happens when they wake up.

Eratas123 · 2011-10-30, 06:17

@ Stratos - Do you mind helping me write the draft for Inami's next part of "future imperfect"?

ZeroXSEED · 2011-10-30, 06:19

Quote:

Originally Posted by Yachiyo

Need a little help here

Spoiler for Everything is Radiant:

Can anyone suggest something next to this event? Please

EDIT: They're in the classroom

Hmm, how about Orimura-sensei show up instead.... only to tell that the training is cancelled.

StratoSpear · 2011-10-30, 06:21

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eratas123

@ Stratos - Do you mind helping me write the draft for Inami's next part of "future imperfect"?

I can try, yeah

I just need some guidelines as in what is supposed to happen and stuffs

Yachiyo · 2011-10-30, 06:23

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eratas123

It's not really dramatic. It's used a lot in comedy where the protagonist gets tricked by his friend into doing something exhausting before calling them a prick and fainting. After that they wake up somewhere else, usually something stupid happens when they wake up.

I made some changes, how about this scene? what should be next? I might revise this depending on your reply

Spoiler:

Whatcha think?

@Zero, she already showed up, that's why Nohotoke said that the training is cancelled

Eratas123 · 2011-10-30, 06:24

Quote:

Originally Posted by StratoSpear

I can try, yeah

I just need some guidelines as in what is supposed to happen and stuffs

It's up to you. I just re-wrote the draft you sent me, just think of a continuation to that and I'll add my own personal touch to it later.

Eratas123 · 2011-10-30, 06:27

@ Yachi - Can you add a bit of a comedy scene at the office? You have to remember that this is IS academy, girls there tend to be less restrained and more curious when it comes to males due to the gender segregation.

Yachiyo · 2011-10-30, 06:28

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eratas123

@ Yachi - Can you add a bit of a comedy scene at the office? You have to remember that this is IS academy, girls there tend to be less restrained and more curious when it comes to males due to the gender segregation.

Hmm. I seem quite don't get this....

Ah, did you mean the girls visiting him in the clinic?

Eratas123 · 2011-10-30, 06:32

Quote:

Originally Posted by Yachiyo

Hmm. I seem quite don't get this....

Ah, did you mean the girls visiting him in the clinic?

Something like that. He was out cold for like 30 minutes right? You can put in a scene where some students try to sneak in and see him but get goomba stomped by somebody else. If you think this is implausible then just read volume 5, the students there do way more things that cross the line.

Yachiyo · 2011-10-30, 06:33

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eratas123

Something like that. He was out cold for like 30 minutes right? You can put in a scene where some students try to sneak in and see him but get goomba stomped by somebody else. If you think this is implausible then just read volume 5, the students there do way more things that cross the line.

Ah, I get it now, thanks a lot

PS: I will never read the LN

Eratas123 · 2011-10-30, 06:36

Quote:

Originally Posted by Yachiyo

Ah, I get it now, thanks a lot

PS: I will never read the LN

Why not? It could help you with your fic material.

ZeroXSEED · 2011-10-30, 06:41

SO Yachi-sama is antithesis of Jak....

HasuMasu · 2011-10-30, 06:43

I think she already mentioned before that she doesn't like the LN because it's not very supportive of IchikaXCharlotte.

Yachiyo · 2011-10-30, 06:44

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eratas123

Why not? It could help you with your fic material.

How about this

Spoiler:

Just came up in my mind

Eratas123 · 2011-10-30, 06:45

Quote:

Originally Posted by Detective-san

I think she already mentioned before that she doesn't like the LN because it's not very supportive of IchikaXCharlotte.

To be fair; It's not very supportive of any pairing. The author is required to keep it a harem or he would have ended up with somebody by now.

Yachiyo · 2011-10-30, 06:50

I'll be right back later.

2011-10-30, 06:03	Link #5122
Yachiyo ~`Seito Kaichō`~ Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: ~`Afterlife`~	Need a little help here Spoiler for Everything is Radiant: “5 minutes left! I hope I can make it.” Aden said as he ran as fast as he could. 4 minutes “Come on!! Faster” he increased his speed as he was out of the dormitory building and entering the school department. 3 minutes “Crap! 4 floors left!” he said as he dashed on the stairs 2 minutes “Come on!! 1 floor left!” he said as he suffers pain in his foot that made him slow down. 1 minute “Almost there! Come on, make it!!!!!!” he said as he kept on running in pain -=ZERO=- He banged the door. Pant Pant “Whoa, what happened to you, did you get chased by a horse?” Ichika asked. “Nah, I don’t think so. Maybe he thought that he’s gonna be late. Hahaha” Rin said while chuckling “Did Pant I make Pant it??” Aden asked while panting. “Oh yeah, you made it, but Orimura-sensei cancelled the training class today, so we have a free hour today. YAAAYYY!!” Nohotoke said. Aden fell down and kept on panting. “Arch Cent, I’m gonna kill you…” Aden said while panting Suddenly Arch Cent appeared. “Hahaha, sorry. I didn’t know that it was cancelled. Hehe” she said as she laughed and laughed. “Take a break bud.” Ichika said as he threw a towel on Aden’s face. “Thanks much bud” Aden said as he wiped his face. Can anyone suggest something next to this event? Please EDIT: They're in the classroom __________________

2011-10-30, 06:41	Link #5136
ZeroXSEED I am no one Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Inside your head	SO Yachi-sama is antithesis of Jak.... __________________

2011-10-30, 06:43	Link #5137
HasuMasu Senior Member Artist Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: The Middle Way	I think she already mentioned before that she doesn't like the LN because it's not very supportive of IchikaXCharlotte. __________________

2011-10-30, 06:50	Link #5140
Yachiyo ~`Seito Kaichō`~ Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: ~`Afterlife`~	I'll be right back later. __________________

2011-10-30, 06:17	Link #5126
Eratas123 Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2011	@ Stratos - Do you mind helping me write the draft for Inami's next part of "future imperfect"?

2011-10-30, 06:27	Link #5131
Eratas123 Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2011	@ Yachi - Can you add a bit of a comedy scene at the office? You have to remember that this is IS academy, girls there tend to be less restrained and more curious when it comes to males due to the gender segregation.