A Laugh A Day

[Comrade]

Comrade's golden tips:

Spoiler for Diet:

Diet rules.
1. If no one sees you eating, then the food doesn't have calories.
2. If you're eating chocolate and you wash it down with a diet cola, then the calories in chocolate are neutralized by the diet cola.
3. If you're eating together with someone, then there aren't any calories if you don't eat more than the other one.
4. Food, which is used for remedial purposes, doesn't have calories. (hot chocolate, vodka....)
5. The more fatter the people around you, the more slimmer you look.
6. Food eaten in cinemas and other recreation establishments doesn't have calories, because it's part of the entertainment. (Cola, chocolate, popcorn...)
7. biscuits and crackers don't have calories, because they are spent opening the package.
8. Food, eaten to taste the meal, doesn't have calories.
9. Foodstuffs with exact colors have exact amounts of calories. (banana and butter, spinach and pistachio-flavored ice cream...)
10. Food, taken from other's plate doesn't have calories, because they stay on the plate.

Spoiler for Murphy's law:

Murphy's law: If anything can go wrong, it'll probably will.
Additions to Murphy's law.
1. Nothing is as easy as it looks.
2. Everything takes more time than you think.
3. If several things can go wrong, then the thing that goes wrong will be the one that makes the biggest mess.
4. If you calculate that there are 4 things which can go wrong and you take care of these 4 things, the 5th thing will immediately appear.
5. Problems, leaved to be solved by themselves have a nasty tendency of getting worse.
6. Every time you want take care of something, something else must be taken care of before.
7. Every solution causes new problems.
8. It's impossible to make something fool-proof, because fools are very capable inventors.
9. Mother Nature's a bitch.

Murphy's philosophy: Smile ... tomorrow it'll be worse.

Three tips for healthy teeth.
1. Clean you teeth twice a day.
2. See a dentist every six months.
3. Don't stick your nose into other people's business.

Spoiler for Battlefield tips:

Battlefield tips.
1. Don't look suspicious, it attracts bullets.
2. Don't look suspicious, maybe the enemy wants to save ammo.
3. There is always a way out, but it might be trapped.
4. Professionals are predictable, but amateurs are dangerous.
5. The enemy attacks on two occasions:
a) When he is ready.
b) When you're not ready.
6. Keep together with your friends, it increases the chance that someone else will get shot.
7. Enemy movement, that you have decided to ignore will turn out to be the main attack.
8. If your attack goes well, you're heading into an ambush.
9. If you lose sight of the enemy, turn around.
10. Never shoot first, it's not nice and annoys those who are near you.

[starry_sky45]

Spoiler for irony:

[onehp]

[[DOT].L]

^ LOL, what the hell?

[Quzor]

Originally Posted by [DOT].L

^ LOL, what the hell?

Ya know, for as ridiculous as that picture (I guess that's what it is) is, you're post says it all: "LOL."

This is, after all, the laugh a day thread, and that post had the desired effect.

[Terrestrial Dream]

WTF? This is just weird. I really don't know if this belongs here, but I guess it could be funny to some.

[DetectiveA]

Originally Posted by Terrestrial Dream

WTF? This is just weird. I really don't know if this belongs here, but I guess it could be funny to some.

This was fun to watch. I think I would of had a blast if I was there bowling with them.

[Aoie_Emesai]

Originally Posted by [DOT].L

^ LOL, what the hell?

Seems like the text didn't load up ^^

[Riker]

Click to view gif.

[Dxon]

funny! Comedy Central!

[aka Providence]

pics for all:

Spoiler for error:

Spoiler for glasses:

Spoiler for grave:

Spoiler for innuendo:

Spoiler for also innuendo:

Spoiler for kirby:

Spoiler for neon signs:

Spoiler for nsfw?:

Spoiler for nsfw:

Spoiler for nuns:

Spoiler for she prefers bowser:

Spoiler for signs:

Spoiler for universe kitty:

[JustInn14]

WARNING : LOUD!!!!!!!!!

[Terrestrial Dream]

Pepsiman!

[DetectiveA]

That Darn Cat

A man who absolutely hated his wife's cat decided to get rid of him one day by driving him 20 blocks from his home and leaving him at the park.

As he was nearing home, the cat was walking up the driveway.

The next day, he decided to drive the cat 40 blocks away and try the same thing.

As we was driving back into his driveway, there was the cat! He kept taking the cat farther and farther away, but the darn cat would always beat him home.

At last, he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right again and another right and so on until he reached what he thought was a safe distance from his home and he left the cat there.

Hours later, the man calls home to his wife: "Jen, is the cat there?"

"Yes," the wife answers. "Why do you ask?"

Frustrated, the man answers: "Put that damn cat on the phone. I'm lost and I need directions!"

[onehp]

http://www.snabbstart.com/film/8bc1f581e4

gazelle outsmarts cheetah and hyena

[koffy]

Lol I like this theard.

[Utter_iMADNESS]

Originally Posted by onehp

http://www.snabbstart.com/film/8bc1f581e4

gazelle outsmarts cheetah and hyena

lol! That's amazing. First time I've ever seen a gazelle play dead.

[Quzor]

Monkey v. Tiger
Watch in awe, as a monkey pwns a tiger!

[onehp]

http://my.mmoabc.com/article/Michael....html?login=no
http://my.mmoabc.com/article/Michael....html?login=no

has a list of funny and interesting images

[koffy]

Originally Posted by Quzor

Monkey v. Tiger
Watch in awe, as a monkey pwns a tiger!

Hahahha lolz, thx for posting, thats pwns...