A Laugh A Day

[Qikz]

Originally Posted by kenjiharima

This made my day when I checked Yahoo news

Source

http://news.yahoo.com/s/yblog_upshot...raeli-military

That's amazing.

[SaintessHeart]

Indiana Jones Disneyland Attraction Recreated in Left 4 Dead 2

[FateAnomaly]

Ah, a good display of military coordination. The brass should actually be proud.

I wondered who took the video though.

[Patriot's Blade]

its maybe OLD & a REPOST, but its still funny like heck!

007 Goldeneye video game glitch...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=

[TinyRedLeaf]

This comes from 2 math teachers with a combined total of 70 yrs of experience. It has an indisputable mathematical logic, and it goes like this:

What makes 100%? What does it mean to give more than 100%?

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If:

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

is represented as:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K

8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =98%

and

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E

11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =96%

But,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E

1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 =100%

And,

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T

2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 =103%

And look how far ass kissing will take you:

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G

1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%


So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty, that while Hard Work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it is the Bullshit and Ass Kissing that will put you over the top.

Q.E.D.

[Arbitres]

I disagree with that equation. Regardless of it being funny or not.

[SaintessHeart]

Originally Posted by TinyRedLeaf

This comes from 2 math teachers with a combined total of 70 yrs of experience. It has an indisputable mathematical logic, and it goes like this:

What makes 100%? What does it mean to give more than 100%?

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If:

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

is represented as:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K

8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =98%

and

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E

11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =96%

But,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E

1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 =100%

And,

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T

2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 =103%

And look how far ass kissing will take you:

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G

1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%


So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty, that while Hard Work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it is the Bullshit and Ass Kissing that will put you over the top.

Q.E.D.

LOL I have heard of that during my JC days, though my teacher used BOOTLICKING, which comes to 116%. The students altered it to C***SUCKING, which comes to 117%. And SLEEP WITH BOSS comes up to a whooping 172%.

Ironic that it is quite true to a see-able extent IRL.

[MisterJB]

Spoiler for NSFW Twiligth for guys:

Now, this movie I would go see.

[Kudryavka]

Spoiler for spread to fuck the fruit. fucking is nsfw, of course.:

These were all spotted in China.




Why we use our brains instead of machine translations.

[Raiga]

It seems like 干 gets translated as "fuck." I think that has to do with the fact that one of its meaning is "to do," but usually it means "dry"... I forget much of my Chinese though, so...

[SaintessHeart]

Originally Posted by Raiga

It seems like 干 gets translated as "fuck." I think that has to do with the fact that one of its meaning is "to do," but usually it means "dry"... I forget much of my Chinese though, so...

It is supposed to mean DRY..... "干" as "f***" is a SLANG and not used for proper Chinese language.

It's meaning as "f***" is only effective when pronounced as "g-a4-n" in pinyin. It is originated from "干掉他" which means to "do him in", which is equal to "get rid of him".

When coupled with a human or personal human attachment (i.e dog), thus in the case of "干你老妈" is the correct usage of "干" as "f***" where "你" means "yours" and "老妈" means "mother", so it is a another usage of Engrish which Chinese is a base rather than Japanese.

Spoiler for SPOILER : real meaning of the pictures:

First one : Dried shrimp with cabbage.
Second one : Dry ginger water (EDIT : Pepsi should be "百事可乐".)
Third one : Lowest priced dried goods.
Fourth one : Dried goods (as shown in the packet of dried shitake mushrooms).

I am a Chinese and I know how to read and speak Chinese btw, so the mistranslations are hilarious.

[grylsyjaeger]

I could just see some tourists trying to steal those signs whilst on vacation.

[Khu]

BEST.
AD.
EVER.

(And I'm a straight guy!)

[-Sho-]

Ahah awesome geek movie trailer - Java 4-Ever :

Java is the best

[Jeffry2009]

Originally Posted by Komari

Spoiler for spread to fuck the fruit. fucking is nsfw, of course.:

These were all spotted in China.




Why we use our brains instead of machine translations.

OMG.... What's up with these offensive words on every stuff...

[Arbitres]

OMG.... What's up with these offensive words on every stuff...

Curse words are funny >8D That's why we use them.

[Terrestrial Dream]

Originally Posted by MisterJB

Spoiler for NSFW Twiligth for guys:

Now, this movie I would go see.

Yeah I would probably pay to watch that movie, seems like it has an excellent story .

[Kudryavka]

Originally Posted by Jeffry2009

OMG.... What's up with these offensive words on every stuff...

Why does Moetan say "I like you. come over to my house and fuck my sister"?

Because it's English Fail and she watches too damn much Full Metal Jacket. It's just like the weeaboos who claim to know Japanese after watching fansubs desu. Not Englicious at all, nope.

[Raiga]

Originally Posted by Komari

Why does Moetan say "I like you. come over to my house and fuck my sister"?

Because it's English Fail and she watches too damn much Full Metal Jacket. It's just like the weeaboos who claim to know Japanese after watching fansubs desu. Not Englicious at all, nope.

Wasn't Moetan like legit researched and all that stuff was intentional? I mean, at the very least it's completely grammatical and idiomatic. And hilarious, intentional or not.

[olympian819]

Originally Posted by SaintessHeart

It is supposed to mean DRY..... "干" as "f***" is a SLANG and not used for proper Chinese language.

It's meaning as "f***" is only effective when pronounced as "g-a4-n" in pinyin. It is originated from "干掉他" which means to "do him in", which is equal to "get rid of him".

When coupled with a human or personal human attachment (i.e dog), thus in the case of "干你老妈" is the correct usage of "干" as "f***" where "你" means "yours" and "老妈" means "mother", so it is a another usage of Engrish which Chinese is a base rather than Japanese.

Spoiler for SPOILER : real meaning of the pictures:

First one : Dried shrimp with cabbage.
Second one : Dry ginger water (EDIT : Pepsi should be "百事可乐".)
Third one : Lowest priced dried goods.
Fourth one : Dried goods (as shown in the packet of dried shitake mushrooms).

I am a Chinese and I know how to read and speak Chinese btw, so the mistranslations are hilarious.

actually, the first picture actually means:
Dried Shrimp with stir fried cabbage
Third pic: Cashier for dry goods (checkout)

I am Chinese, in fact I am from Hong Kong and speaks both mandarin and cantonese

btw i found more of these Engrish signs at a site called Engrish....