2008-04-29, 09:12 | Link #2041 |
Banned
Join Date: Dec 2007
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this isn't so much a jutsu as a technique but I think it might work pretty well.
Have Naruto surround someone with shadow clones and the real Naruto come in with rasengan and then before actually striking someone use subsitution jutsu to change places with a another shadow clone and then hit the opponent with rasengan. |
2008-04-29, 13:40 | Link #2042 |
打児 恵 流
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: the Netherlands
Age: 31
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hi im kinda new with this but i do have my own shinobi!
he has no group coz he left his village wenn he was nine but well here he is and if you have any comments about things that can be changed plz tell me Shiroyo Daien( as shinobi also called Shirooni Daien)(shirooni means white devil) (shiroya means white night) his father was a konohagakure shinobi & his mother was a kirigakure shinobi. Daien barely knew his parents. They died when he was almost 5 years old. He still has his parents headbands and the anbu blade and mask wich belonged to his father. He grew up alone and had no friends in kirigakure.the only one who cared for him was his sensei .he mostly skipped school and learned the family style from the scrolls his parents left him. His father was a water-user and his mother was a wind-user so he was determined to learn both of those styles. he ran away from the village when he was 9 years old and a half year later he met the traveling jiraya who took him with him and taught him how to use his nature manipulation wich turned out to be water. Now he is 15 (almost 16) and he has mastered water and wind. He is trying to learn raiton now but the first thing he wants to do is becoming an acknowledged konoha-shinobi. Gekkei genkai : hyouringan (hyourin means the moon) Element: suiton Type of gekkei genkai: eye Range: close to far range Discription: by using the water in the air and on the ground he can sence his oponents and predict their movements and location and at his level he is even able to see his the jutsus his oponents are using before they even do it(depending on their speed coz be honest it is quit impossible nomatter how good you are if you fight someone with a speed like itachi or kakashi). Combining his shinobi skills with this gekkei genkai makes him kinda invincible to any water-user. and even against other shinobi a dangerous enemy. This skill also helps in making his jutsus more focused meaning stronger, faster and even more precise (if you dont quit get how he is doing this then maybe you understand it better if i say there is water in the air and he can see the movement of someone by sencing how he is pushinagainst the water. So if it does not go to fast he can even sence what kind of technique his oponent is using.) Gekkei genkai : fukai hyourin- mangetsu hyouringan Element: suiton Type of gekkei genkai: eye Range: close to far range Discription: this is the full limit of the hyouringan. It allows the user to comletey manipulate the water around him, making him cpable of intrupting his enemies movement or use of jutsus however its weakness is that it consumes a whole lot of chakra. The mangetsu hyouringan also enchances the strength of all his waterbased techniques and giveshim a more precise usage of his chakra wich means his jutsus take less chakra to perform.( when he uses this technique his handsign speed increces alot. And for water-style jutsus he doesnt even need to do any handsigns anymore.) but still this technique is quit exhausting and makes sure that after he has used it he is to weak to fight for 5-10 days depending on how long he used the skill. Jutsu Name: getsei ryuudou / hyourin ryuudou Element: suiton Type of Jutsu: ninjutsu( swordstyle) Jutsu Rank: B Range: Medium Discription: you use your chakra and bind it with water and then you use your blade to pointthe water and use your chakra to let the water spin and if it hits something or someone it goes right trough it becouse of the tremendous speed at wich the water gets spinned. (this technique can only be used in combination with the family sword-style hyourin mizukai) Jutsu Name: hyourin mizukai Element: none Type of Jutsu: taijutsu( swordstyle) Jutsu Rank: - Range: close Discription: this is the family sword-style of the shiroyo clan Jutsu Name: fuuton – kazekai kanryuu Element: raiton/fuuton Type of Jutsu: Ninjutsu Jutsu Rank: B Range: Medium Discription: you use fuuton and raiton: you create an enormous windpressure use your chakra to let your lightning flow in it while creating it and then you pressure it into a direction and next to the pressure being more powerfull due to the lightning on the impact it releases a tremandous lightning caused by an intense friction.( atleast if the lightning has a good focus and if it is being controlled well) Jutsu Name: Suiton – juude dehoudai Element: raiton/suiton Type of Jutsu: Ninjutsu Jutsu Rank: A Range: Medium Discription: you use suiton and raiton: you create a flow and use your chakra to let your lightning flow in it while creating it to speed it up and then you let it flow around you like a barrier and next to a stunning speed it slices a tremandous lightning on impact ( atleast if the lightning and water have a good focus and if it is being controlled well) Jutsu Name: Suiton – kazekiri mizu no hangetsu Element: fuuton/suiton Type of Jutsu: Ninjutsu Jutsu Rank: A Range: Medium Discription: you use suiton and fuuton: you create a flow just like a river and use your chakra to let your wind flow in it while creating it to speed it up and then you let the wind around it to sharpen it even more and next to a stunning speed it slices with a tremandous pressure on impact ( atleast if the wind and water have a good focus and if it is being controlled well) this were his own techniques and of course he knows some standard skills like waterdragon or waterclone, waterprison etc. and im still working on his final skill (ya know like kakashis sucking hole or narutos oodama rasengan) well this was it plz comment |
2008-04-29, 20:37 | Link #2044 |
The Dragon Sage
Author
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Shady spaces and dark places, where animals fear to tread. . .
Age: 30
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Actually, deneiro, I have only one thing to ask. At the beginning you said that he was a water and wind user, but then you started adding a lightning based jutsu. I am just wondering if he is able to use three chakra types, or if water and wind are his natural chakra (somehow, I really don't know how, but it may be possible ) and the lightning is his learned nature style? This site is all about fine-tuning your character through constructive criticism, which I have just recently started trying to provide, and it doesn't that your character is awful. It actually means that it is pretty good, and I hope you keep trying new ideas and don't just leave. It happens way too much (including myself, sorry) so I am really excited to see more of your ideas, and I think that the idea of the hyouringan. One time I came really close to making something like that, but I wasn't perserverent enough to pursue it. After reading your character, I feel like I should have. To end this statement I have one thing to say. Your character was Pretty Freakin AWESOME! if I do say so myself.
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2008-04-30, 08:47 | Link #2045 |
Domo Ori Gato Mr. Roboto
Author
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Village Hidden in the Leaves
Age: 31
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Hey guys what's going on? I haven't been posting, but I have been reading your characters and new villages. You're doing pretty good. One piece of of advice I can give you is write your characters and other stuff like you would a paper in school. You write it once there's your rough draft and you rewrite it making changes. And you keep doing so until your happy with it. Now you don't have to post every "draft" just the final one your happy with. Also you don't have to do that at all, it just might help a little.
Also you guys remember when I came up for the idea for the character creation contest? Well the first one starts tomorrow. Just go to the Fan Creation Section tomorrow and you'll find the entry thread there. Make sure you read the rules before posting. you'll have two weeks to work on your characters and tweak them as you like. And don't forget there is going to be a theme each month, so don't think you can make up anything you like. Seeing as I'm going to have to pick the first theme I won't enter this month, would be pretty unfair. And if they shut us down there I will continue the contest in the other forum I go to(the one in my sig and avvy). well I've gone on long enough, check in tomorrow for the theme and rules. Once I have the thread up I'll put a link to it in this post. EDIT I have the page up here's the link http://forums.animesuki.com/showthread.php?t=66039
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Last edited by Zaku Hyuga; 2008-05-02 at 07:25. |
2008-04-30, 17:05 | Link #2046 | |
The Dragon Sage
Author
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Shady spaces and dark places, where animals fear to tread. . .
Age: 30
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Quote:
I hope that helps. I meant to put it in there somewhere, but was not thinking completely straight when I posted. |
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2008-04-30, 23:06 | Link #2047 | |
Kingkiller
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Quote:
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Last edited by Keikan; 2008-04-30 at 23:20. |
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2008-05-01, 00:37 | Link #2048 |
Ha ha ha ha ha...
Graphic Designer
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Right behind you.
Age: 35
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Well, at least that's not nearly as bad as idiots who try to make their characters a part of the Sannin (which, I might remind you all means literally "Three People", and refers ONLY to Jiraiya, Tsunade and Orochimaru) or somesuch crap. I think I saw a few posts like that in this thread before. Those, as I remember, were pretty pathetic.
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2008-05-01, 03:08 | Link #2049 | |
So Like A Rose
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Foxglove
Age: 36
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Quote:
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2008-05-01, 05:23 | Link #2050 |
打児 恵 流
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: the Netherlands
Age: 31
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hey im back and i kinda made some mprovements on his past!
i also seperated the raiton jutsus from the other ones coz i might have told it bad last time. he has mastered water and wind but discovered his potential for ligtning Spoiler for uhm this is an image of daien i made with paint!:
dont mind the ugly quality that is only because i enlarged it. Spoiler for shiroyo Daiens past!:
Spoiler for about his gekkei genkai!:
Element: suiton Type of Jutsu: ninjutsu( swordstyle) Jutsu Rank: B Range: Medium Discription: you use your chakra and bind it with water and then you use your blade to pointthe water and use your chakra to let the water spin and if it hits something or someone it goes right trough it becouse of the tremendous speed at wich the water gets spinned. (this technique can only be used in combination with the family sword-style hyourin mizukai) Spoiler for his family swordstyle with a special jutsu:
Spoiler for jutsus with raiton wich he can still not quit use:
i still am designing some jutsus but atleast his past is kinda clear now. |
2008-05-01, 12:09 | Link #2051 |
Ha ha ha ha ha...
Graphic Designer
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Right behind you.
Age: 35
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@Deneiro: I like your stuff (especially the pixel art---very well done), but I have a problem with your kekkei genkai, hyouringan. Not it's concept, which I think is cool, but the fact that you said it makes the user INVINCIBLE. Just for a reality check, no one is invincible. Sorry to burst you bubble, but that's just how it is. Overall character design is good, but that one kekkei genkai is WAY to overpowered. Overpowered characters and/or jutsus naturally get a 0/10 for me. However, barring that, I'd give the rest a 7/10 (-1 point for bad spelling and grammar). Run on sentences that go on for a paragraph make it very hard to read and understand either concepts behind jutsus, or character background. A tip for the future: Proofread your posts at least once to fix simple stuff like that. It's a bit frustrating to the readers when they have to interpret what you're trying to say because of stuff like bad spelling/grammar.
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2008-05-01, 18:37 | Link #2052 |
The Dragon Sage
Author
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Shady spaces and dark places, where animals fear to tread. . .
Age: 30
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@Deneiro: I agree with specatacular insanity, your kekkei genkai and grammatical errors do make it a bit difficult to "beleive". I think if all you did was make the kekkei genkai a little bit less powerful, and proofread your post, then I would have probably given it a almost perfect rating. If you remember these things when you are working on your next character then I am sure it will be a very great character.
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2008-05-02, 18:50 | Link #2053 |
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
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hey everyone sorry i have not been posting i've been busy it happens to all of us right? i am working on a character right now from the village i posted a few pages back.
and to save this post from being completely off subject Deneiro: nice post especially for someone who is new at this not saying im some expert but i did enjoy it. |
2008-05-03, 14:20 | Link #2054 |
打児 恵 流
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: the Netherlands
Age: 31
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reason why isnt as overpowered as you think guys
hey guys uhm i read your comments but i think i said hes kind of invincible!
well compare it to the byakugan byakugan seems invincible right!!! but it doesnt anymore if you know about the blind spot in the back of his neck doesnt it! its te same with the hyouringan. so let me tell you its ((super obvious and if u think logical very easy to think of))WEAKNESS. the hyouringan can sense how you press against the water. the more water there is in the air or on the ground the easier the hyouringan can read your movements! so obviously its effectivity goes down if you minimize the water, by 1: avoiding battles on a river or lake! and 2: minimize the water in the air by using heat/fire jutsus. the same goes for the full limit of the hyouringan. the full limit can control the water in his area to block the enemies movements or for offensive use by pushing the water around. but if you use fire skills u block it mostly coz then there almost is no water to use to push around! kinda sounds logical doesnt it?(it doesnt seem so overpowered anymore to now you know its weakness doesnt it?) im looking forward to your comments |
2008-05-03, 14:26 | Link #2055 |
打児 恵 流
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: the Netherlands
Age: 31
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oh and sharfan about what you said with making a next character!
i dont think im coming up with one the coming time because i want to perfect Shiroya Daien first. I always think its better to finish one thing before you start with another |
2008-05-04, 00:17 | Link #2056 |
The Dragon Sage
Author
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Shady spaces and dark places, where animals fear to tread. . .
Age: 30
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Hey I've been working on a new character-
Spoiler for Meruto Iki:
I made a picture to, but I can't get it to work. If anyone knows how to get it here can they please tell me. |
2008-05-04, 07:43 | Link #2057 |
打児 恵 流
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: the Netherlands
Age: 31
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Putting an image here!!
hey sharfan i know a way to put an image here!
if you want to put an image here you need to insert an URL. so you first upload your image on a site like imeem.com And once u uploaded it you click on that image in your gallery, copy the URL and then you paste the URL at 'insert Image' . and your done i hope i helped you |
2008-05-04, 20:27 | Link #2059 |
respect me.
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: thats for me 2 no and u 2 not.
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Here's my girl!
Name: Sari Age: 14 B-day: N/A family power thing, (i 4got the name! whoops.): Rose jutsues, shadow jutsues rank: whatever is stronger than sannine gender: female hair color & length: brown, down 2 middle of back jutsue focus: err, ninjutsue, yeah... elements: water, fire, wind weapons: basic ninja gear, shadow kuniae village: leaf appearence: well, i got the hair part, errr, i know! aqua colored mini skirt w/ short leggings under it, tank top belly shirt w/ fishnet quarter length coverin her arms, black wrist length gloves, headband around her 4head. backround: she's a mysterious person. sensaie: she's a loner, hates most people, and can't decide if she's good or bad. teamate/partner: her pet panther family: orochimaru killed them all. favorite jutsues: shadow rose, shadow kunai attack, death rose, pantheris spirit. just some xtra info: HATES DOGS, kiba and his mutt better watch it. well thats Sari. cool right? Last edited by sarikat; 2008-05-04 at 20:29. Reason: i spelled the wrong! whoops |
2008-05-04, 23:01 | Link #2060 | |
Kingkiller
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Quote:
Ok full critisism, the setup needs work. Punctuation needs work ... capitals please. Please no sms text (4head, 4got, xtra, 2 instead of to). For background, 'she's a mysterious person' is probably not the best to keep people interested, maybe something a bit more detailed without giving stuff away. Typing what you have there just makes you look lazy. Also you say 'favourite jutsu' and list names, names only hint at the effect of a jutsu, it would be a good idea to add effects. I would say this character needs some serious work. On a completely unserious note: what's the matter with dogs??? Dogs are the coolest and Akamaru is not a 'mutt' but a nin-dog which is much cooler.
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Last edited by Keikan; 2008-05-06 at 02:56. Reason: Needed to be finished |
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