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Shinigami Mazoku · 2006-10-24, 21:15

This story has been going through my mind for a few months now. I thought I would try posting some of it here. Chapters will be posted on a weekly basis hopefully. I should have chapter one up tommorow. Until then, here's a quick synopsis.

Genres:

Crime Fiction, Psychological, Drama, Cyberpunk

Summary:

The year is 2059, and the world is just begining to get back on it's feet after the events of World War Three thirteen years prior, in which roughly 40% of the planet's surface has been devastated. In the midst of the chaos, in the young utopian city known as Shido City, an enigmatic masked terrorist by the name of Seraph has appeared seemingly out of nowhere. Perhaps the most intelligent and dangerous man alive, he has descended unto the world to expose a conspiracy more then two thousand years in the making.

Characters:

(These are only three of MANY characters. Listing them all would take too long, so I'll leave it at these three for now.)

Seraph: The Protagonist of the story. A complicated man in possesion of a dark secret, madly driven to achieve his goals, whatever the cost may be. Absolutely nothing is known about his identity or background. Is he brilliant, or merely insane?

Lilith Rosewater: An investigator in Shido City. The task of apprehending Seraph has fallen to her. Although she only joined the police force four years ago, she has already established herself as one of, if not the, best detectives in the city.

Damien Crow: The head of the Shido City police force. He is a veteran of the recent war, during which he abandoned his human body for a more capable cybernetic one. He is simply refered to as Crow by most people. He has shown great interest in the identity of Seraph, going so far as to devote his little free time to running his own investigation.

PLEASE post your comments! That's the major reason I post my work online. I want to improve and to do that I need honest critiques. Act One should be up tommorow unless something comes up. Until then, feel free to post your feelings on what I've shown you so far.

Demongod86 · 2006-10-29, 01:47

I hate these kinds of posts. Post or PM work, get critique. Sounds somewhat like 1984 gone animeish.

TickTock · 2006-10-29, 17:23

It's a shame people like that are even allowed to breath.

Anyway, the story sounds good, but because you didn't say much about it, it doesn't come off appealing enough. You need to learn how to tease the fan base in order to grab their attention. But other than that, don't wait for compliment's or flames to write your story. If you like it, and want to see it done, then get it done. I'll be sure to read it.

2006-10-24, 21:15	Link #1
Shinigami Mazoku Junior Member Join Date: Oct 2006	Angel's Feathers(Original Fiction, Rated 16+) This story has been going through my mind for a few months now. I thought I would try posting some of it here. Chapters will be posted on a weekly basis hopefully. I should have chapter one up tommorow. Until then, here's a quick synopsis. Genres: Crime Fiction, Psychological, Drama, Cyberpunk Summary: The year is 2059, and the world is just begining to get back on it's feet after the events of World War Three thirteen years prior, in which roughly 40% of the planet's surface has been devastated. In the midst of the chaos, in the young utopian city known as Shido City, an enigmatic masked terrorist by the name of Seraph has appeared seemingly out of nowhere. Perhaps the most intelligent and dangerous man alive, he has descended unto the world to expose a conspiracy more then two thousand years in the making. Characters: (These are only three of MANY characters. Listing them all would take too long, so I'll leave it at these three for now.) Seraph: The Protagonist of the story. A complicated man in possesion of a dark secret, madly driven to achieve his goals, whatever the cost may be. Absolutely nothing is known about his identity or background. Is he brilliant, or merely insane? Lilith Rosewater: An investigator in Shido City. The task of apprehending Seraph has fallen to her. Although she only joined the police force four years ago, she has already established herself as one of, if not the, best detectives in the city. Damien Crow: The head of the Shido City police force. He is a veteran of the recent war, during which he abandoned his human body for a more capable cybernetic one. He is simply refered to as Crow by most people. He has shown great interest in the identity of Seraph, going so far as to devote his little free time to running his own investigation. PLEASE post your comments! That's the major reason I post my work online. I want to improve and to do that I need honest critiques. Act One should be up tommorow unless something comes up. Until then, feel free to post your feelings on what I've shown you so far.

2006-10-29, 01:47	Link #2
Demongod86 Gundam Boobs and Boom FTW Join Date: Dec 2005	I hate these kinds of posts. Post or PM work, get critique. Sounds somewhat like 1984 gone animeish. __________________ Signature stolen by a horde of carnivorous bunnies. It is an unscientifically proven fact that they are attracted to signatures which break the signature rules.

2006-10-29, 17:23	Link #3
TickTock Junior Member Join Date: Oct 2006	It's a shame people like that are even allowed to breath. Anyway, the story sounds good, but because you didn't say much about it, it doesn't come off appealing enough. You need to learn how to tease the fan base in order to grab their attention. But other than that, don't wait for compliment's or flames to write your story. If you like it, and want to see it done, then get it done. I'll be sure to read it.