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Old 2011-03-29, 06:26   Link #1021
MarksmanKNG
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Join Date: Jan 2011
William, that looks really a lot of firepower you know. Multiple abilities is very enticing for a Gary Stu effect. Do remember that even Aqua of the Back has limitations and a weakness.
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Old 2011-03-29, 07:16   Link #1022
WiliamZ0
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I don't think so ... since, he (My OC) can't use multiple abilities at once

Ex: If he use power one, he can't use another power
IF he want to use another power, he must turned off the power he used, then it allowed him to used another power

Moreover, with a lot of limitation with the abilities; I could say he is my OC who have the most fatal weakness ... (unless he used his powers carefully, he won't win)
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Old 2011-03-29, 07:53   Link #1023
MarksmanKNG
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Okay, if you say so. Just keep that in mind.
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Old 2011-03-29, 14:13   Link #1024
Ritsu026
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WiliamZ0 View Post
Anyone can give me a help ? I need your opinion about my Oc and I'm looking for a beta reader for my fanfic (TAMnI Alternative Testament) (I have remade it, but I don't think my grammar correct yet ... I also already start the next chapter of my fanfic)

I have 3 OC in my sleeve and Here is one of them (I still fixing the other 2)

Nakatsugawa Rinnosuke

Spoiler for Information:
First I'm sure that this power was taken from Heroes. The guy who appeared only in one episode for 15 minutes. He can't create black holes , he just makes something like a portal to other dimension , but it's still unknown if the object is OK when it comes out of the portal. The portal is like a space hole.
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Old 2011-03-29, 15:49   Link #1025
Chaos2Frozen
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Just out of curiosity, how many people here are familiar with the Durarara!! Light Novel?
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Old 2011-03-29, 19:26   Link #1026
SuzushinaYuriko
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I've read a lot of anni-fiesta's translations for Durarara!!, but I'm not sure of the entire plot behind the later novels. I am reading volume 9 which she is currently translating.
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Old 2011-03-29, 19:35   Link #1027
WiliamZ0
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ritsu026 View Post
First I'm sure that this power was taken from Heroes. The guy who appeared only in one episode for 15 minutes. He can't create black holes , he just makes something like a portal to other dimension , but it's still unknown if the object is OK when it comes out of the portal. The portal is like a space hole.
Humm? I don't know what you are talking about ...

Anyway, I use these as my preference
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_hole
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quantum_gravity

I just think that gravity also able to create something like black hole ... That's all

Anyway ... What is 'Heroes' you are talking about

Just ask ...
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Old 2011-03-29, 19:49   Link #1028
MarksmanKNG
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Heroes is a TV series. Here

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heroes_(TV_series)


A planet's gravity is capable of creating a black hole at a specific phase of the planet's life cycle. The criteria for which planets are capable is specific which I'm not so sure on that.
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Old 2011-03-29, 21:15   Link #1029
Mr.Kyon
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So I was bored at school and I thought up of this.

Enter Ollerus&Silvia with Fiamma.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6855885
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Old 2011-03-29, 21:58   Link #1030
Chaos2Frozen
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Quote:
Originally Posted by yukirosuzuka View Post
I've read a lot of anni-fiesta's translations for Durarara!!, but I'm not sure of the entire plot behind the later novels. I am reading volume 9 which she is currently translating.
Hmm... It's not the same though; Just like in Index, you have to read the novel to pick up on the little details and flavors that make up the series. Mah, it's just a question anyway. Because I thought it would be great to sit down and try to figure out how to make a crossover, given how similiar both stories are - Multiple perspectives, supernatural setting, 'underworld' gangs etc... Plus knowing that their two authors are 'buddying' up with each other gives me more incentive lol
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Old 2011-03-30, 00:16   Link #1031
MrTerrorist
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The final chapter of "A Certain Destined Introduction"!

Read it here!
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Old 2011-03-30, 08:45   Link #1032
WiliamZ0
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Now for my 2nd OC for TAMnI : Alternative Testament


Kinoshita Merry
Spoiler for Information:
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Old 2011-03-30, 09:45   Link #1033
MrTerrorist
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Wait, this character sounds like Merry Nightmare from Yumekui Merry mixed with.....Hideoyoshi. There's nothing original about "her, she's just a mixed of two different characters. I suggest you be a more creative with an original character with original looks, design and powers or just say this is Merry from Yumekui Merry.

Also, i suggest you reduced Rinnosuke to have two powers instead. I will tolerate that he has two powerful abilities but three...that's overkill. Also call his "Reality Breaker" into something different and more cooler and original like the "Hand of Destruction" or "The Fist of Doom".
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Old 2011-03-30, 09:54   Link #1034
WiliamZ0
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MrTerrorist View Post
Wait, this character sounds like Merry Nightmare from Yumekui Merry mixed with.....Hideoyoshi. There's nothing original about "her, she's just a mixed of two different characters. I suggest you be a more creative with an original character with original looks, design and powers or just say this is Merry from Yumekui Merry.

Also, i suggest you reduced Rinnosuke to have two powers instead. I will tolerate that he has two powerful abilities but three...that's overkill. Also call his "Reality Breaker" into something different and more cooler and original like the "Hand of Destruction" or "The Fist of Doom".
Get Caught (Well yeah! I actually based this character on Merry Nightmare (I like her XD))
For name~ This isn't final yet~ Help me if you want to XD (but not in power and personality section)

for Rinnosuke, his eyes rather sensitive to light (I ever heard a eye problem for that called ... uh oh I forget)~ making he VERY RARELY (In fact he almost never ) used the third power.

His sense (sight and hearing sense) quite awesome (not as awesome as saint) and quite sensitive, I intended to leave it like that ~
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Old 2011-03-30, 10:00   Link #1035
WiliamZ0
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And! more info~ Even if I like hideyoshi, I don't based my character on him (only his family name)

Again, this OC only say that he is male (no one know the reality, even the teachers! They just put the data and quite surprised to learn that 'the boy' is more like girl than a boy)

You can say it a trap or it isn't a trap XD (I like preparing twist when I want to XD)
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Old 2011-03-30, 10:12   Link #1036
MrTerrorist
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WiliamZ0 View Post
Get Caught (Well yeah! I actually based this character on Merry Nightmare (I like her XD))
For name~ This isn't final yet~ Help me if you want to XD (but not in power and personality section)

for Rinnosuke, his eyes rather sensitive to light (I ever heard a eye problem for that called ... uh oh I forget)~ making he VERY RARELY (In fact he almost never ) used the third power.

His sense (sight and hearing sense) quite awesome (not as awesome as saint) and quite sensitive, I intended to leave it like that ~
I see, basically it's not a power, just that Rinnosuke has very sensitive eyes and ears which allows him to sense things more better than an ordinary person. Of course the downside of such skills is that since his senses are more sensitive, he can be defeated easily by being blinded or deafen. So therefore this character has to wear sunglasses and a special hearing aid to protect his eyes and ears am i correct?
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Old 2011-03-30, 10:22   Link #1037
WiliamZ0
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Correct! Ah! I remember now!

His eyes' problem called Photophobia (Light Sensitivity)
He use sunglasses with ultraviolet (UV) protection.
He also sometimes used special contact lenses (I don't know what it called) (But he hate them so much)
And yeah! He also wears a special hearing aid
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Old 2011-03-31, 20:12   Link #1038
Mr.Kyon
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Spoiler for I have no idea what this is...:
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Old 2011-03-31, 21:58   Link #1039
WiliamZ0
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Finally! The third OC for my fanfic

Charlotte Ainsworth
Spoiler for Information:
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Old 2011-03-31, 23:53   Link #1040
arson88
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr.Kyon View Post
Spoiler for I have no idea what this is...:
the ending is good, will you do the extended version without Touma's Imagine Breaker solution?
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