2008-03-31, 20:53 | Link #7061 | |
The Fascist
Join Date: Mar 2008
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@Jintor
Good Grief makes me think of Charlie Brown... Edit: damnit you people post too fast Quote:
I pay a lot attention to detail. Grammar Nazi, Republican Conservative, Originality Fascist and AnaylzesShitTooMuch. That's me. |
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2008-03-31, 21:00 | Link #7065 |
Homo Ludens
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Canada
Age: 34
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Go to Chapter 4 on the B-T wiki. It's just the lines before Mitsuuru's infodump. Rather, the lines leading up to it, about Nagato's earlier infodump, I removed them.
Edit: And goddammit, can you go through and remove your comments? Strikethroughs here don't work on BT and I don't think I got them all. |
2008-03-31, 21:05 | Link #7068 | |
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Land Down Under
Age: 32
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Quote:
(Hate BT) Man... I thought that line worked fine. It was such a natural lead-in, too... |
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2008-03-31, 21:12 | Link #7072 |
Senior Member
Author
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Virginia Tech
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"Dear Diary,
I have to say, when Haruki has cleaning duty, everything just becomes SO much more peaceful. I mean, without him around, Yuuki could go to the computer club and try to explain to those girls what a mouse is. That brings up a good question. Why are those girls in the computer club to begin with? I thought computers were a fairly male oriented thing... Maybe they are making a reverse harem dating sim or something? Well, a second one, considering that they wanted to challenge us to a dating sim last November. Then again, how in the world did we compete in a dating sim game? Blah, why do I get off topic diary? Anyways, Haruki was out, and Yuuki was in the computer club room, so I finally got to play that mystery date game with Itsuko. Though Minoru wanted to join in too for whatever reason... Why did he get the hot jock? Gah... Really, I just hate these uniforms... Why do we have this kanji symbol right on our chest? Do they want to encourage the perverts to look at our chests or something? Maybe I should tie my overcoat a little tighter... Ooh, but we're changing to summer uniforms soon... What should I do, diary? Sincerely, Kyon-ko"
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2008-03-31, 21:12 | Link #7073 | |||
illusion control
Author
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Quote:
Quote:
Still, let's try looking at it from a non-meta viewpoint. The primary motivation I see for Kyonko is that she, like Kyon, insists on being Arthur Dent, being normal. Taking the canon, when the blue giants started smashing up the school grounds, Haruhi was ecstatic: this was fantastic, this was exciting, this was fun. Kyon, however, was worried: what if they get hit by debris? What if they get stepped on by the giants? Do these things have enough mass for it to matter? Kyonko, like her canon counterpart, thinks too much, in a specifically ordinary way. She holds fast in the belief that Life Is Not A Story, and that life will never be as neat as a story; after a great battle between mages, someone still has to clean up the property damage. To be told that she has to act as though she's actually in a story is probably completely alien and unfamiliar, at least to the Kyonko now (rather than the Kyonko of long ago, who believed in aliens/ESPers/time-travellers). And so, she brings out her usual defense of snark. In the original, Kyon is just as exasperated by this turn of events, but in the end, he throws logic to the wind, since the world's ending anyway, and at least this way he gets to have a chance to save it. That's what I was trying to portray for Kyonko: she needs to have that extra push in order to initiate the kiss, and she's instinctively fighting it every step of the way. But in the end, she does go through with it. Like I said, though, I expect it to be edited to satisfaction. Quote:
Going out on a very risky limb, it's also consistent with something I've noticed about gender differences, albeit completely based on anecdotal evidence: when guys have something bothering them that they can't figure out, they try to work through it on their own. When girls are in the same situation, they try to work it out together with a trusted friend(s). In my view, Kyonko mentioning Yuuki's talk is not so much "hey, guess what happened a few days ago" as "this trip reminds me of something, maybe you can explain it". Also, I'm guessing that Yuuki doesn't mind if Kyonko tells anyone else. Kyonko even offered(/threatened) to tell Haruki about it, and Yuuki's response boiled down to "go ahead". |
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2008-03-31, 21:12 | Link #7074 | |
Homo Ludens
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Canada
Age: 34
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Quote:
I think it's not really fitting for Mitsuuru to get worked up over that. In fact, I don't think it made sense for Mikuru to get worked up over that. Maybe it was that she hates lying? |
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2008-03-31, 21:12 | Link #7075 |
The Fascist
Join Date: Mar 2008
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I'm pretty sure they were all infodumping just cuz.
But probably cause they saw Kyon as a threat if he influenced Haruhi the wrong way. It was probably part of their mission to tell him and help him understand the implications of his every action seeing as how he was "Haruhi's chosen one." |
2008-03-31, 21:16 | Link #7076 | |
Homo Ludens
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Canada
Age: 34
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Quote:
Sorry, Discreet, this makes more sense than you. And thanks, dkellis. Once again, you explain what that scene was missing. |
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2008-03-31, 21:17 | Link #7077 | |
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Land Down Under
Age: 32
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Quote:
Ok, since we've removed the Yuuki line now Asahina just suddenly gets more and more nervous and begins to infodump on Kyonko. This is despite the fact that he was happily licking ice-cream about 2.5 seconds ago. So either we add in more lines about him glancing at Kyonko, then looking away, or seeming like he's steeling himself for an answer, or we add some other sort of trigger. That's how I see it. At the moment I believe it's still a little awkward. (Also, the Hivemind demands Chapter 5 Progress Reports) /EDIT'D Lawl Dkelis said what I was thinking, but in fancier words, and he also justified it. Go Dkellis! Fight for what freaking makes sense! |
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2008-03-31, 21:19 | Link #7079 |
Senior Member
Author
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Virginia Tech
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Hm... Theat diary made me think of something... For Day of Saggitareus, isn't it a little weird for a club of girls to make a space fighting game? I've always thought that was more of a masculine thing. Should the game be changed?
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genderbender, seitenkan |
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