Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha Character Creation and Discussion

[krisslanza]

Originally Posted by Fuyu no Sora

@Thread: Hey guys.

Due to some problems on my end, I'll be most probably missing for a while... I'll be mostly like Aaron and crawl in sometime to comment on something...Anyway, hope you guys have fun. Keep the backlog going (hurray for super long to-read list) 'kay?

Oh and @Keroko-kun: Do keep fighting against the Darth Chaos He needs ro realize not all of us are his 'acolytes'

Chaos thinks he has acolytes!? MADNESS.

[Sheba]

Originally Posted by krisslanza

MADNESS.

This is the time someone pull a variation on 300-related joke.

[LimitedEternal]

Originally Posted by Erio

Wow, tons of new backlog, but nothing much to comment on. Except for one thing. Kha, that's a ton of crack you got there!

Oh, and that female!Kamina pic is so disturbing... damn, my eyes.

And yes, my little free time is being eaten by Brawl these past few days.

Kha's job, as the de facto boss of Cadia, is to pile up as much crack (Khrack?) as he can in the shortest amount of time.

Guess who else's free time is being eaten by Brawl?

Originally Posted by FlameSparkZ

Not just cute, tsundere cute

As as seen, only Maren and Altea find embarrassing to dance it

That's what I meant by cute. :P

Originally Posted by krisslanza

Maybe when you make things it gets Keroright?

Keroright? What you been smoking?

So does that mean if you forge it, it's a Kerowrong?

*runs*

Originally Posted by Kha

I suppose that grants me a right to Khapyright? And is copying Keroright a Khapyleft?

*runs from frozen tsukikomi*

O_o

*smacks Kha, then smack self*

Originally Posted by FlameSparkZ

It's amazing how a simple question can trigger all this...

Anyways...here's Chapter 23!

Spoiler for Chapter 23 - Codename: Heart Waver - Part 1:

*snip*

Why does this chapter has this name? You'll find out in the next part

That's it for now
The next part should be posted soon, sicne most of it is already written, just needs to be revised and updated

But right now, I'm tired...
*goes to bed*

Ooh, a teaser, huh? Can't wait for the next part. Good job.

Originally Posted by Fuyu no Sora

@Thread: Hey guys.

Due to some problems on my end, I'll be most probably missing for a while... I'll be mostly like Aaron and crawl in sometime to comment on something...Anyway, hope you guys have fun. Keep the backlog going (hurray for super long to-read list) 'kay?

Oh and @Keroko-kun: Do keep fighting against the Darth Chaos He needs ro realize not all of us are his 'acolytes'

Aww. We, good luck with whatever's got you, and come back to see us soon!

*hugs Fuyu, then runs very fast*

Originally Posted by Sheba

This is the time someone pull a variation on 300-related joke.

Madness?

This!

IS!

CADIAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

*throws self down pit of death, screaming "CADIAAAAA!*

[toran]

Here is an idea that a friend and I had come up with. Well, my friend thought up the feedback idea for a character in World of Darkness and let me use the idea for a Nanoha OC.

Spoiler for Charese Silverman:

Name: Charese Silverman
Age: 24
Gender: Female
Looks: Long dark hair, brown eyes. Wears glasses. Med build.
Alignment: Good
Personality: Generally kind, she tries to help others when she can.
Mage Rank: AA (Reduced to B For safety reasons by StikerS) Mid-Childa Type
Combat Style: Mid-Long Range support and attack type. Specialized in Barriers.
Device: Standard Mage Storage Device. Previous Intelligent Device lost on mission. (See History)

Spoiler for History:

Having graduated from the magical academies on Mid-Childa, she trained to join the Enforcers after achieving the Mage Rank of A. She served in that capacity aboard several different ships through a period of two years before the incident on Unadministered Planet 297.

During a standard Lost Logia recovery mission. She and her team encountered unexpected opposition, which her entire team and herself were injured severely. It wasn't until later that anyone realised something was wrong with her magic until it was almost too late.

It was on a mission to capture a renegade mage on Mid-Childa that something went terribly wrong. In the middle of combat, she started to suffer from magical feedback every time she cast a spell. Whether it be a defensive shield spell or a long range magical attack, she would start to suffer wounds. The battle turned for the worst and in order to save her team mate, she overcharged a Magical Blast, destroying her Intelligent Device in the process and leaving her bedridden for a period of several months.

During this recovery period, the medical mages discovered that her magic had been altered in an unusual way which caused her magical feedback every time she cast anything beyond her barrier jacket. They recommended that she not use any magic beyond a B Rating in power and not stay in combat for an extended period of time at that power level.

This was when she decided to study to become an officer and develop her own division.

I'm thinking about having her develop a division specializing in barriers and unusual situations involving Lost Logia.

[LimitedEternal]

Originally Posted by toran

Here is an idea that a friend and I had come up with. Well, my friend thought up the feedback idea for a character in World of Darkness and let me use the idea for a Nanoha OC.

Spoiler for Charese Silverman:

Name: Charese Silverman
Age: 24
Gender: Female
Looks: Long dark hair, brown eyes. Wears glasses. Med build.
Alignment: Good
Personality: Generally kind, she tries to help others when she can.
Mage Rank: AA (Reduced to B For safety reasons by StikerS) Mid-Childa Type
Combat Style: Mid-Long Range support and attack type. Specialized in Barriers.
Device: Standard Mage Storage Device. Previous Intelligent Device lost on mission. (See History)

Spoiler for History:

Having graduated from the magical academies on Mid-Childa, she trained to join the Enforcers after achieving the Mage Rank of A. She served in that capacity aboard several different ships through a period of two years before the incident on Unadministered Planet 297.

During a standard Lost Logia recovery mission. She and her team encountered unexpected opposition, which her entire team and herself were injured severely. It wasn't until later that anyone realised something was wrong with her magic until it was almost too late.

It was on a mission to capture a renegade mage on Mid-Childa that something went terribly wrong. In the middle of combat, she started to suffer from magical feedback every time she cast a spell. Whether it be a defensive shield spell or a long range magical attack, she would start to suffer wounds. The battle turned for the worst and in order to save her team mate, she overcharged a Magical Blast, destroying her Intelligent Device in the process and leaving her bedridden for a period of several months.

During this recovery period, the medical mages discovered that her magic had been altered in an unusual way which caused her magical feedback every time she cast anything beyond her barrier jacket. They recommended that she not use any magic beyond a B Rating in power and not stay in combat for an extended period of time at that power level.

This was when she decided to study to become an officer and develop her own division.

I'm thinking about having her develop a division specializing in barriers and unusual situations involving Lost Logia.

Hey, you new here? Welcome. Don't mind the crack...might wanna get a proper initiation from one of the vets.

So, a character with a prominent weakness, as opposed to a strength. Interesting.

[arkhangelsk]

Originally Posted by ghazghkull

Yeah....You are taking this WAY too seriously dude....granted you picked out things that I missed out....I'd rather you keep your hands off my story before this 'discussion' ends up in a heated argument, due to you finding logical fallacies in my story. If there's a contradiction, or an error, I'd rather let those whom I consider peers pick at it.

I'd rather not let any bad blood run boiling in here.

I'm very hurt (by board standards) that you don't consider me a peer, despite our mutual membership in this forum.

As for bad blood, I have no bad blood with you. I'm sorry if you have bad blood with me for daring to analyze in this board's dedicated analysis thread.

Anyway, relax, I never debate FanFiction. If I see something wrong and I'm in a commenting mood, I'll mention it ... once. I hope to get an explanation, or at least to get the author to be a bit more careful next time, but if they don't it's not like I'm going to get into a war.

And if I assume that every other person on this thread except for me is your peer, a great problem with "letting your peers pick at it" is that ... uh, they basically aren't. Maybe they hadn't noticed. Maybe they just think it isn't very important. Maybe they think you don't take criticism well, and decide that harmony is more important. I can't know. Anyway, it leaves me to be "bad cop" and say something, doesn't it.

[arkhangelsk]

Originally Posted by Saint X

Not that god...

since you're placing it in the Seinarukana context, you will know what i mean. unless...

Do you mean the neverseen Swordmaker himself? Now that must be some being indeed.

and yes, the "" smiley is somewhat annoying and an invitation for a plasma torch

Blame the board system for assigning that admittedly sarcastic smile to the most easily typed smiley...

[ghazghkull]

Originally Posted by arkhangelsk

I'm very hurt (by board standards) that you don't consider me a peer, despite our mutual membership in this forum.

As for bad blood, I have no bad blood with you. I'm sorry if you have bad blood with me for daring to analyze in this board's dedicated analysis thread.

Anyway, relax, I never debate FanFiction. If I see something wrong and I'm in a commenting mood, I'll mention it ... once. I hope to get an explanation, or at least to get the author to be a bit more careful next time, but if they don't it's not like I'm going to get into a war.

And if I assume that every other person on this thread except for me is your peer, a great problem with "letting your peers pick at it" is that ... uh, they basically aren't. Maybe they hadn't noticed. Maybe they just think it isn't very important. Maybe they think you don't take criticism well, and decide that harmony is more important. I can't know. Anyway, it leaves me to be "bad cop" and say something, doesn't it.

Okay, I'll admit that it was a low blow on my part for the peer comment. For that, I apologize on that, and refrain from it again.

However, I'd rather not hear your comments because I do not appreciate your approach on the subject. Unless it was something of a dire that contradicts with canon due to me being sloppy, then I can see the reason of such a direct, and somewhat...court-room like approach.

While comments are appreciated on my part, I'd rather it be done in a casual manner, rather than some form of a formal hearing of sorts. That's just my personal opinion and preferences from those who comment on my works.

[Kagerou]

*sighs*
IRC-inspired crack. Forgive me.

Spoiler:

Name: Kagerou-kun/Kagerou-chan
Age: 16
Gender: Male, or female, depending on the water.
Origin: Earth?
Affiliation: TSAB
Rank: E-4

Mage Class: All-around adept, expert at none
Magic Rank: B+/A+
Magic System: Midchilda
Magic Color: Blue or Pink
Magic Affinity: None
Magic Style: Anything convenient
Magic Device: THX-1138 Storage Device, aka "Prince/Princess Guard"

Height: 5' 9" Male, 5' 5" Female
Weight: Medium/Light
Build: Athletic
Eyes: Brown
Hair: Brown
Hair Style: Short and cut when male, long and in a ponytail when female.
Facial Features: Usually has a bored look on his/her face.

Spoiler for Kagerou-kun:

Spoiler for Kagerou-chan:

Spoiler for Image Song:

Kentai Life Returns - Male Version

Kentai Life Returns - Female Version

TSAB Profile: An all-around average mage with the odd ability to turn female when drenched in cold water (and back to male when drenched in hot water), code name "Shadow Wolf" is able to perform most jobs well, though not as good as a specialist.

Personality:
- Alignment: Lawful Neutral
Kagerou-kun: Despite his skills, Kagerou-kun has no real motivation, which is probably what's kept him from ranking-up and/or getting promoted. He's rather apathetic, it seems, though when danger approaches he tends to get up and go at it, in the defense of people he wishes to protect.

Kagerou-chan: Although mostly the same, there are a few qualities that are different upon being doused in cold water. For one, Kagerou-chan seems to have a slightly more tsun personality, along with a little bit of moe elements.

Device:
Kagerou-kun/chan uses a custom 1138-type Storage Device that functions more like a Magical Girl's wand from various anime series, although it changes form depending on whatever gender is active. When Kagerou is male, it resembles a quarterstaff, and when he's a she, it resembles a wand. In its inactive state, it resembles a playing card, usually the King/Queen of Hearts.

Barrier Jacket:
When male, the Barrier Jacket resembles a white version of Chrono's, minus the studs/spikes and with an added cape. When female, it takes on the form of a Sailor Suit-lookalike.

Spells later.

[Kha]

Originally Posted by toran

Here is an idea that a friend and I had come up with. Well, my friend thought up the feedback idea for a character in World of Darkness and let me use the idea for a Nanoha OC.

Spoiler for Charese Silverman:

Name: Charese Silverman
Age: 24
Gender: Female
Looks: Long dark hair, brown eyes. Wears glasses. Med build.
Alignment: Good
Personality: Generally kind, she tries to help others when she can.
Mage Rank: AA (Reduced to B For safety reasons by StikerS) Mid-Childa Type
Combat Style: Mid-Long Range support and attack type. Specialized in Barriers.
Device: Standard Mage Storage Device. Previous Intelligent Device lost on mission. (See History)

Spoiler for History:

Having graduated from the magical academies on Mid-Childa, she trained to join the Enforcers after achieving the Mage Rank of A. She served in that capacity aboard several different ships through a period of two years before the incident on Unadministered Planet 297.

During a standard Lost Logia recovery mission. She and her team encountered unexpected opposition, which her entire team and herself were injured severely. It wasn't until later that anyone realised something was wrong with her magic until it was almost too late.

It was on a mission to capture a renegade mage on Mid-Childa that something went terribly wrong. In the middle of combat, she started to suffer from magical feedback every time she cast a spell. Whether it be a defensive shield spell or a long range magical attack, she would start to suffer wounds. The battle turned for the worst and in order to save her team mate, she overcharged a Magical Blast, destroying her Intelligent Device in the process and leaving her bedridden for a period of several months.

During this recovery period, the medical mages discovered that her magic had been altered in an unusual way which caused her magical feedback every time she cast anything beyond her barrier jacket. They recommended that she not use any magic beyond a B Rating in power and not stay in combat for an extended period of time at that power level.

This was when she decided to study to become an officer and develop her own division.

I'm thinking about having her develop a division specializing in barriers and unusual situations involving Lost Logia.

Welcome Toran! With this, you've found yourself in boot camp! Don't worry we'll take good care of ya, always!

Good start! You might want to develop more on how she got that Feedback curse, and shed a little more light on how that injury is affecting her as a person psychosocially?

Such an injury means that she wouldn't be considered for a combat vocation, so her future division would most likely be in support, with combat-support being the most she'd ever see in terms of hot action, unless it is fixed.

I guess that would mean that her "barrier and unusual LL incidents" division is involved in containing/sealing off contaminated/dangerous areas due to Lost Logia effects? I think it might go through.

Will she be setting up that unit in StrikerS? If so, I believe her work is very cut out for her.

Lastly, no OC is an island! Hope to see more of her teammates in future.

Originally Posted by Kagerou

*sighs*
IRC-inspired crack. Forgive me.

Spoiler:

Name: Kagerou-kun/Kagerou-chan
Age: 16
Gender: Male, or female, depending on the water.
Origin: Earth?
Affiliation: TSAB
Rank: E-4

Mage Class: All-around adept, expert at none
Magic Rank: B+/A+
Magic System: Midchilda
Magic Color: Blue or Pink
Magic Affinity: None
Magic Style: Anything convenient
Magic Device: THX-1138 Storage Device, aka "Prince/Princess Guard"

Height: 5' 9" Male, 5' 5" Female
Weight: Medium/Light
Build: Athletic
Eyes: Brown
Hair: Brown
Hair Style: Short and cut when male, long and in a ponytail when female.
Facial Features: Usually has a bored look on his/her face.

Spoiler for Kagerou-kun:

Spoiler for Kagerou-chan:

Spoiler for Image Song:

Kentai Life Returns - Male Version

Kentai Life Returns - Female Version

TSAB Profile: An all-around average mage with the odd ability to turn female when drenched in cold water (and back to male when drenched in hot water), code name "Shadow Wolf" is able to perform most jobs well, though not as good as a specialist.

Personality:
- Alignment: Lawful Neutral
Kagerou-kun: Despite his skills, Kagerou-kun has no real motivation, which is probably what's kept him from ranking-up and/or getting promoted. He's rather apathetic, it seems, though when danger approaches he tends to get up and go at it, in the defense of people he wishes to protect.

Kagerou-chan: Although mostly the same, there are a few qualities that are different upon being doused in cold water. For one, Kagerou-chan seems to have a slightly more tsun personality, along with a little bit of moe elements.

Device:
Kagerou-kun/chan uses a custom 1138-type Storage Device that functions more like a Magical Girl's wand from various anime series, although it changes form depending on whatever gender is active. When Kagerou is male, it resembles a quarterstaff, and when he's a she, it resembles a wand. In its inactive state, it resembles a playing card, usually the King/Queen of Hearts.

Barrier Jacket:
When male, the Barrier Jacket resembles a white version of Chrono's, minus the studs/spikes and with an added cape. When female, it takes on the form of a Sailor Suit-lookalike.

Spells later.

...does Kagerou-kun/-chan come with his own boxing tsukikomi that goes "Kagerou no BAKAA"?

*adds Kagerou to Outer Cadia Shock Troopers*

[Keroko]

Originally Posted by Kagerou

*sighs*
IRC-inspired crack. Forgive me.

Spoiler:

Name: Kagerou-kun/Kagerou-chan
Age: 16
Gender: Male, or female, depending on the water.
Origin: Earth?
Affiliation: TSAB
Rank: E-4

Mage Class: All-around adept, expert at none
Magic Rank: B+/A+
Magic System: Midchilda
Magic Color: Blue or Pink
Magic Affinity: None
Magic Style: Anything convenient
Magic Device: THX-1138 Storage Device, aka "Prince/Princess Guard"

Height: 5' 9" Male, 5' 5" Female
Weight: Medium/Light
Build: Athletic
Eyes: Brown
Hair: Brown
Hair Style: Short and cut when male, long and in a ponytail when female.
Facial Features: Usually has a bored look on his/her face.

Spoiler for Kagerou-kun:

Spoiler for Kagerou-chan:

Spoiler for Image Song:

Kentai Life Returns - Male Version

Kentai Life Returns - Female Version

TSAB Profile: An all-around average mage with the odd ability to turn female when drenched in cold water (and back to male when drenched in hot water), code name "Shadow Wolf" is able to perform most jobs well, though not as good as a specialist.

Personality:
- Alignment: Lawful Neutral
Kagerou-kun: Despite his skills, Kagerou-kun has no real motivation, which is probably what's kept him from ranking-up and/or getting promoted. He's rather apathetic, it seems, though when danger approaches he tends to get up and go at it, in the defense of people he wishes to protect.

Kagerou-chan: Although mostly the same, there are a few qualities that are different upon being doused in cold water. For one, Kagerou-chan seems to have a slightly more tsun personality, along with a little bit of moe elements.

Device:
Kagerou-kun/chan uses a custom 1138-type Storage Device that functions more like a Magical Girl's wand from various anime series, although it changes form depending on whatever gender is active. When Kagerou is male, it resembles a quarterstaff, and when he's a she, it resembles a wand. In its inactive state, it resembles a playing card, usually the King/Queen of Hearts.

Barrier Jacket:
When male, the Barrier Jacket resembles a white version of Chrono's, minus the studs/spikes and with an added cape. When female, it takes on the form of a Sailor Suit-lookalike.

Spells later.

Oh no, you did not use Kyonko for this!

*Ahem* I remember 'reserving' Kyonko a while back when I introduced Cadia to the Haruhi genderbend. However, after many hair pulling atempts at a conversion, I came to a realization, one supported by Aaron.

I already had a Kyonko.

Aaron noted something I had stumbled across as well, when he was writing pieces for the genderbend thread, he noted how much Kyonko was like Tesla, and how easy it was to write her down because of it.

As such, I will leave you with this:

Spoiler for A change of hairstyle...:

Kyonko never needed to come to Cadia. She was already here.

[Sheba]

Photoshopped Kyonko look like a gendeswap Okazaki Tomoya, Clannad's male lead.

[Keroko]

You think? Tomoko stands a lot taller, not to mention his eyes are blue and he doesn't have a ponytail.

[Nightengale]

Originally Posted by Kha

A-Keroko?

...NIGHTY!!! First, 2 copies of Hayate in the chatline, now actually figuring out how Tesla could've been Komina?!

THE KHRACK IS BURNING RED!!!

*runs off to brew more Rebuilt of Tesla*

Who the hell do you think I am?

Even if I rarely ever write them, my brain produces crack easily. :3

Originally Posted by Keroko

Now this is what I was talking about. 3pic drama with Tesla as the tragic lover turns out to be the bad guy?

Griffith VS Simon?

Oooh yes I can use this.

Originally Posted by Keroko

Oh yes, I did forget those two for a while.

Though the idea was that this was a Simon, not a Smith.

Another good thing to come of this: Wolkenritter development! Now... shall I fit this in the current timeline? Hmm... no no, in the past timeline would make a good story... but Simon VS Griffith does have some apeal...

Ideas ideas.

It depends.

A past one would obviously be tragic, while a present one would be easier to 'feel' with.

Spoiler for past possible crack:

Tesla: Simon!!

Simon: Heh... don't worry...Tesla. No matter if it's 11 years or 110 years later... even if you forget me... I'll just... make you... fall in love with me again. Who the hell do you think I am!?

Tesla: An idiot... but that's why I love you.

[Liingo]

Originally Posted by ghazghkull

LOL You referring to how I slipped in the three aces at the end?

Not so much that, more the yuri loving

Originally Posted by FlameSparkZ

Spoiler for BreakerS Caramelldansen 2:

You're trying to kill me aren't you

Originally Posted by Saint X

Bridget? Ruri? who?

Thanks ayways

Your latest character. Ruri I think. (Bow user)

Originally Posted by FlameSparkZ

It's amazing how a simple question can trigger all this...

Anyways...here's Chapter 23!

Spoiler for Chapter 23 - Codename: Heart Waver - Part 1:

[Skies above Mid-Childa Urban Area - Helicopter]
[14:54 MST]
*snip*

Why does this chapter has this name? You'll find out in the next part

That's it for now
The next part should be posted soon, sicne most of it is already written, just needs to be revised and updated

But right now, I'm tired...
*goes to bed*

Nice set-up chapter. I've got two cracky suspicions on what Koji wants to ask about. I'm going to hope that I'm wrong Keep it up

Originally Posted by Keroko

You think? Tomoko stands a lot taller, not to mention his eyes are blue and he doesn't have a ponytail.

Tomoko? There's a Tomoya genderbend now as well
Nice shop BTW.

@Lowe
Omni-Slash...

@Toran
Welcome to the thread! It'll be interesting to see how she get's around her problem. Looks good so far XD.

[Keroko]

Originally Posted by krisslanza

Maybe when you make things it gets Keroright?

... Keroright?

*Kyonko facepalm*

If there ever was a 'Keroright' it would be the right to use my characters without permission.

Originally Posted by ghazghkull

Well considering it was probably your idea originally, that's why people are asking for rights to use it. It's the same thing with me asking if I can use Syn, Keroko, and Tesla actively in my story.

Flame should know by now that I always allow my OC's to be used in stories. Asking whether he can use a name I just happened to paste on Jail's prison sounded... rather silly.

Originally Posted by FlameSparkZ

It's amazing how a simple question can trigger all this...

Anyways...here's Chapter 23!

Spoiler for Chapter 23 - Codename: Heart Waver - Part 1:

[Skies above Mid-Childa Urban Area - Helicopter]
[14:54 MST]

The helicopter was heading to the TSAB Ground Central, where they'd take the warp to the TSAB Main Branch HQ, and from there a ship would take them to the Maximum Security Prison.

Inside the helicopter, Koji stared at his right hand...

[Flashback]
"Koji..." Cinque said, extending her right hand.
"Eh?" Koji blinked.
"I never got to thank you properly...For saving us that day."
Koji smiled, grabbing her hand for a handshake.
"Good luck." Cinque smiled.
"Cinque-san too, good luck. For you and your sisters."

They looked at each other, nodded and parted ways.
[/Flashback]

And closed his hand, smiling.
"Cinque-san is a great person, isn't she?" Maren said as she saw Koji like that.
"Yeah..." He nodded.
"The others too, it's hard to believe that last month they were still our enemies..." Yui said.
Fate nodded, "That girl, Lutecia, too...what I read about her reminds me of myself when I was about her age..."
Koji and the others looked at Fate as she reminisced.

"She helped gather Relic cores for Scaglietti so her mother could be revived..." Fate looked at the floor.
"Can a actually Relic do that?" Koji asked.
"According to the information retrieved so far from the laboratory's main computer, each Relic core has an innate ability or purpose, they just needed to find one compatible with the host." Rein explained.
"Lutecia said that the one she was looking for was Relic number 11. They had found several of them but not the intended one."
"So, that Relic must still be out there, right?" Yui asked Fate.
"It is very possible, either it was already found, or still it is buried somewhere, we don't know..." Fate replied.
As Koji heard that, he remembered the incident three years ago...and looked out the window.
(Lost Logia...Relic...what exactly are they? And for what purpose were they made?) He asked himself.

"Oh! There it is." Vice said as he saw the TSAB Ground Central.
"Everyone, we're almost at the Ground Central, just wait a bit longer and we'll land." Alto announced.
Yui sighed, "Thank goodness..." She looked a bit relieved, but also nervous.
"Yui, Is something wrong?" Maren asked.
"W-well...nothing really..." Yui replied, fidgeting.
"It doesn't look like 'nothing'..." Koji said.
"Yes but...it's kind of embarrassing." Yui's legs restlessly rubbed against each other.
"Just say it already...it can't be that bad." He forced her to say it.
"I-I need to go to the bathroom!" Yui said it loud and clear.

Silence filled the helicopter...
Koji's eyebrow twitched, "I-I'm sorry I asked..." He looked away, embarrassed.
The others also had a shade of red on their faces.
"Mou...Onii-chan no ijiwaru..." Yui pouted.
"H-how could I possibly know?" He countered.
----------------------------

[TSAB Ground Central - Heliport]
[15:07 MST]

Having arrived, Yui dashed out of the helicopter, into the building.
While the others calmly left the helicopter.

"Well, this is as far as we can go." Vice said, with Alto at his side.
"We'll go pick up the Forwards and Treize and head back to the RF6 HQ." Alto said.
"Thanks for the ride." Fate thanked them.
"No problem, Fate-san." Vice grinned.

Having said farewell to Alto and Vice, they saw the helicopter take off, then entered the building.
"The teleporter room is this way..." Rein said, looking at one hall.
"And the closest bathroom is this way." Koji said, looking at another hall.
"Well go pick up Yui first and then head to the teleporter." Fate suggested.
"No, I'll go get her, you can go on ahead." Koji asked them.
"Okay." Fate replied without hesitating.
"Okay ~desu" Rein said after Fate.
"I can accompany you if you wish..." Maren looked at him.
"It's okay, Maren...go with Fate-senpai and Rein." Koji looked at her.
"O-okay..." Maren said a tad disappointed.

Fate and Rein headed to the teleporter while Maren saw Koji go the other way, catching up with them afterwards.
"Fate-san..."
"Yes?" Fate looked at Maren.
"How can I say this...I'm worried about Koji-sama."
"So you sensed it too." Fate replied, looking ahead.
"Eh?" Maren looked at Fate.
"It's about Koji wanting to speak to Jail Scaglietti, right?" Fate asked.
"Yes." Maren nodded.
"I found it odd too." Fate paused, "The part about Treize seems to be true, but I can feel there's another reason."
"Yes, it's like something is bothering him." Maren speculated.
"Unfortunately it's no use asking Koji about it, he'll try to change the topic." Fate said.
Rein sighed, "Koji-sama is doing it again...carrying the burden all on his own..."
"Again?" Maren blinked.

They arrived to the teleport room, but waited for Koji and Yui.
And while they didn't come, Fate and Rein talked to Maren about Koji's past.

Sitting down, Fate began to speak, "It's been eight years since I met him, but he's still very passionate when it comes to his friends and family. In fact, I'd say he sees us all more as family than friends."
Maren agreed with a nod.
"Back then, when he met me and Nanoha through Signum, and knew that we were mages, he asked us to teach him Mid-Childa style as well."
"He tried hard to be good at both styles, and was learning fast, but his magical growth couldn't catch up with his progress and eventually came to a stop when he reached his limit."

"After that, Koji-sama focused on the Belka style that Signum taught him, and worked with it to make a new style to fit his needs." Rein added.
"Koji's style can be considered Neo-Belka, but also somewhat different as it uses more Mid-Childa style than the standard Neo-Belka does."
"I see..." Maren gave it some thought. "So Koji-sama hasn't changed much, he still wants to be strong enough to protect everyone he cares about...even if it means pushing himself to his limits."

"It's not just Koji, we're all like that." Fate paused, and looked at Bardiche. "We all have someone we care about. It's only natural that you'd want to be stronger so you are able to protect that person."
"Yes." Maren nodded. "But is it really alright to do it alone?" She asked no one in particular.
"We agreed to establish a contract between us, that made us both stronger...and I'm supposed to protect Koji-sama, but he insists in protecting me instead..."

"Maren-san..." Rein interrupted her, "About that contract you made with Koji-sama...it provides him with more magic isn't that right?"
"Yes. Since much of my power is sealed away, my magic reserves tend to become full and stagnate if I don't release enough power. Now that the contract linked us, my excess magic is sent to Koji-sama."
"As I thought..." Fate pondered, "That contract between you provided Koji with what he couldn't achieve before. Thankfully, it seems he knows how to use it without it affecting him."
"What do you mean?" Rein blinked.
"Yes, it's only a theory due to lack of solid evidence. But it says that one might become affected by another person's magic if it is given to them on a regular basis." Fate explained.
"EH? I-is that so?" Maren worried.
"M-Maren, like I said, it hasn't been proven yet! Besides, Koji has a strong will, he wouldn't be influenced that easily." Fate tried to assure her.
"Thank you, Fate-san." Maren sighed in relief.
----------------------------

Meanwhile, in the opposite direction, Koji leaned against a wall, waiting for Yui to come out.
(Just a bit longer...if all goes as planned, Scaglietti will brag about his work, and I'll have the answers I want.) He thought, with a serious expression.
"Ah, Onii-chan! You came to get me, thank you~" Yui saw him as she left the bathroom, but he was still meditating.
"Onii-chan?" She got closer. "Onii-chan!"
"Eh?" Koji snapped out, "Oh...you're out. Let's go." He said, and started walking.
"mou..." Yui replied as she saw him go.
As she followed him, Yui said to herself, (Lately, Onii-chan has been acting strange...something must be troubling him.)
She looked at his back as she followed him, (But...even if I ask, Onii-chan will just say it's nothing, to avoid talking about it.)
(At times like this, I feel like there's a wall between us...) Yui worried.
----------------------------

[Dimensional Sea - TSAB Main Branch]
[15:12 MST]

Koji and Yui met up with everyone at the teleport room, and took the warp to the Main Branch HQ.
Arriving, they headed to the ship hangar to meet up with the person who was to take them to the Off-World Maximum Security Prison.

In the hangar, they saw Chrono talking to a clerk, possibly giving him instructions for something.
The group walked towards them, as they noticed Fate and the others, the clerk saluted them, then Chrono, excused himself and went on his way.
"Admiral Chrono." Fate said as she saluted him, the others saluted him as well.
"It's been a while, Enforcer Fate, Enforcer Maren, Master Sergeant Reinforce, Knight Koji and Private Yui." Chrono greeted them.
(pu~~~ I'm the only one with a low rank...even though after the JS Incident I became a Private Second Class...) Yui complained to herself.
"What brings you here?" Chrono asked, palyfully feigning ignorance.
"I requested for a ship to take us to the Orbital Prison Facility 354, where Jail Scaglietti is." Fate replied.
"That would be Claudia. My crew is currently doing a quick check to her systems, we'll depart shortly." Chrono said.
"Understood." Fate replied formally.

Koji waited patiently...killing time by thinking of what questions to ask Scaglietti, while pretending to be looking at the ships.
----------------------------

[Dimensional Sea - XV-class Warship, Claudia ]
[15:18 MST]

En route to the Orbital Prison Facility 354, Koji and the others waited in a room, while Fate spoke with Chrono in another room.
"What? Koji requested it?" Chrono looked at Fate, somewhat surprised.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier..." But before Fate could finish, Chrono spoke.
"No it's okay, I just find it odd. As far as I know, he's never been involved in investigating any case concerning Scaglietti. For him suddenly ask this, I can understand why you didn't mention it."
"I tried to ask him, but you know how Koji is." Fate said concerned.
"Well..." Chrono sighed, "It can't be helped, he's been like that ever since we've known him."
Fate nodded in agreement, "I just hope it's not something serious..."
Chrono looked out the window, staring at the flow of dark purplish 'matter' go by, (Koji...what the heck are you trying to find out?) He asked himself...
----------------------------

Why does this chapter has this name? You'll find out in the next part

That's it for now
The next part should be posted soon, sicne most of it is already written, just needs to be revised and updated

But right now, I'm tired...
*goes to bed*

Hmm, not much happened, and we still don't known why Koji's going to Jail (although I can hazard a guess).

Originally Posted by Fuyu no Sora

@Thread: Hey guys.

Due to some problems on my end, I'll be most probably missing for a while... I'll be mostly like Aaron and crawl in sometime to comment on something...Anyway, hope you guys have fun. Keep the backlog going (hurray for super long to-read list) 'kay?

Will try, but IRC is draining this thread.

Originally Posted by Fuyu no Sora

Oh and @Keroko-kun: Do keep fighting against the Darth Chaos He needs ro realize not all of us are his 'acolytes'

Will do.

Originally Posted by LimitedEternal

Kha's job, as the de facto boss of Cadia, is to pile up as much crack (Khrack?) as he can in the shortest amount of time.

Since when did Kha become the de facto boss? resident crackhead, yes. But boss?

Originally Posted by toran

Here is an idea that a friend and I had come up with. Well, my friend thought up the feedback idea for a character in World of Darkness and let me use the idea for a Nanoha OC.

Spoiler for Charese Silverman:

Name: Charese Silverman
Age: 24
Gender: Female
Looks: Long dark hair, brown eyes. Wears glasses. Med build.
Alignment: Good
Personality: Generally kind, she tries to help others when she can.
Mage Rank: AA (Reduced to B For safety reasons by StikerS) Mid-Childa Type
Combat Style: Mid-Long Range support and attack type. Specialized in Barriers.
Device: Standard Mage Storage Device. Previous Intelligent Device lost on mission. (See History)

Spoiler for History:

Having graduated from the magical academies on Mid-Childa, she trained to join the Enforcers after achieving the Mage Rank of A. She served in that capacity aboard several different ships through a period of two years before the incident on Unadministered Planet 297.

During a standard Lost Logia recovery mission. She and her team encountered unexpected opposition, which her entire team and herself were injured severely. It wasn't until later that anyone realised something was wrong with her magic until it was almost too late.

It was on a mission to capture a renegade mage on Mid-Childa that something went terribly wrong. In the middle of combat, she started to suffer from magical feedback every time she cast a spell. Whether it be a defensive shield spell or a long range magical attack, she would start to suffer wounds. The battle turned for the worst and in order to save her team mate, she overcharged a Magical Blast, destroying her Intelligent Device in the process and leaving her bedridden for a period of several months.

During this recovery period, the medical mages discovered that her magic had been altered in an unusual way which caused her magical feedback every time she cast anything beyond her barrier jacket. They recommended that she not use any magic beyond a B Rating in power and not stay in combat for an extended period of time at that power level.

This was when she decided to study to become an officer and develop her own division.

I'm thinking about having her develop a division specializing in barriers and unusual situations involving Lost Logia.

Wow, this is new. A character that starts of with a weakness, I like what I see so far. I hope you're going to continue.

Originally Posted by arkhangelsk

And if I assume that every other person on this thread except for me is your peer, a great problem with "letting your peers pick at it" is that ... uh, they basically aren't. Maybe they hadn't noticed. Maybe they just think it isn't very important. Maybe they think you don't take criticism well, and decide that harmony is more important. I can't know. Anyway, it leaves me to be "bad cop" and say something, doesn't it.

Missed it. That, and when I finally did find it, you pretty much already said what I wanted to say. I probably wouldn't have pointed out all the millitairy whatnot, minus the Hayate neglecting Hayato's insubordination, but I definetely would have commented on the weapon caches and artillery.

Originally Posted by Liingo

Tomoko? There's a Tomoya genderbend now as well
Nice shop BTW.[B]

I like the Haruhi bend better though. :3

And the shop was really simple. Recollor hair, recollor eyes, ad a typically Tesla 'what?' and done.

[FlameSparkZ]

Originally Posted by Liingo

You're trying to kill me aren't you

Originally Posted by Liingo

Nice set-up chapter. I've got two cracky suspicions on what Koji wants to ask about. I'm going to hope that I'm wrong Keep it up

Good

Originally Posted by Keroko

Flame should know by now that I always allow my OC's to be used in stories. Asking whether he can use a name I just happened to paste on Jail's prison sounded... rather silly.

Is that so?

Originally Posted by Keroko

Hmm, not much happened, and we still don't known why Koji's going to Jail (although I can hazard a guess).

JUST AS PLANNED!!!
You'll find out soon

~~~~

Now...I was wondering if I should make Maren accompay Koji when he goes talk to Jail, using as an excuse the "an Enforcer/Special Investigator must be present" due to Koji's low rank in the TSAB or just have him talk to Jail alone...

That's because I don't if the title of 'Knight' has much value in the TSAB

Feel free to comment
*goes back to work*

[Kha]

I have to agree with Keroko, I'm not the boss, I just got somehow voted into presidency in an election that we never knew was running...

Originally Posted by Keroko

Oh no, you did not use Kyonko for this!

*Ahem* I remember 'reserving' Kyonko a while back when I introduced Cadia to the Haruhi genderbend. However, after many hair pulling atempts at a conversion, I came to a realization, one supported bij Aaron.

I already had a Kyonko.

Aaron noted something I had stumbled across as well, when he was writing pieces for the genderbend thread, he noted how much Kyonko was like Tesla, and how easy it was to write her down because of it.

As such, I will leave you with this:

Spoiler for A change of hairstyle...:

Kyonko never needed to come to Cadia. She was already here.

...
...
...

Oh hell that's is completely true! Now, do we get to see Tesla-chan being the center of a andro-harem? And let's not forget we know have even more imperative to do Itsuko.

Originally Posted by Nightengale

Who the hell do you think I am?

Even if I rarely ever write them, my brain produces crack easily. :3

I never doubted it , but was MOERU ZEEE! with all that prime input. :3

Originally Posted by Nightengale

It depends.

A past one would obviously be tragic, while a present one would be easier to 'feel' with.

Spoiler for past possible crack:

Tesla: Simon!!

Simon: Heh... don't worry...Tesla. No matter if it's 11 years or 110 years later... even if you forget me... I'll just... make you... fall in love with me again. Who the hell do you think I am!?

Tesla: An idiot... but that's why I love you.

Tesla = Kyonko
Griffith = Nagato?
Simon = Haruki. :3

Now for that last Trap... Kerokun himself?



And... Chatline Khrack thanks to Ghaz:

Spoiler for :3:

PFC Farukon's encounter with the Aces occurs as a possible extension from Hayate's Feel - Good Ending.

And Reddo is the Original Kha, Kha is the Clone Kha.

:3

[Keroko]

Originally Posted by FlameSparkZ

Is that so?

I've been saying it since forever.

Originally Posted by FlameSparkZ

Now...I was wondering if I should make Maren accompay Koji when he goes talk to Jail, using as an excuse the "an Enforcer/Special Investigator must be present" due to Koji's low rank in the TSAB or just have him talk to Jail alone...

That's because I don't if the title of 'Knight' has much value in the TSAB

Feel free to comment
*goes back to work*

Hmm, you could. In fact I'd say its a good idea, Koji would need a damn good reason for speaking to Jail, and Maren would help him get away with it easier.

Originally Posted by Kha

I have to agree with Keroko, I'm not the boss, I just got somehow voted into presidency in an election that we never knew was running...

Besides, the OC-thread never had a leader. We don't need one, that's what makes us such a tight-nit group.

Originally Posted by Kha

...
...
...

Oh hell that's is completely true! Now, do we get to see Tesla-chan being the center of a andro-harem? And let's not forget we know have even more imperative to do Itsuko.

*sweatdrop* Ah, yes, Itsuko.

Originally Posted by Kha

Tesla = Kyonko
Griffith = Nagato?
Simon = Haruki. :3

Now for that last Trap... Kerokun himself?

Amusing fact: Haruki is often compared to Kamina in the Haruhi genderbend thread.

And no, Kerokun won't take on the Mitsuru role.

Originally Posted by Kha

And... Chatline Khrack thanks to Ghaz:

Spoiler for :3:

PFC Farukon's encounter with the Aces occurs as a possible extension from Hayate's Feel - Good Ending.

And Reddo is the Original Kha, Kha is the Clone Kha.

:3

Does that mean Grandis has a rival?

[Kha]

Originally Posted by Keroko

Besides, the OC-thread never had a leader. We don't need one, that's what makes us such a tight-nit group.

Sou.

Originally Posted by Keroko

*sweatdrop* Ah, yes, Itsuko.

What's the matter, or am I asking the obvious?

Originally Posted by Keroko

Amusing fact: Haruki is often compared to Kamina in the Haruhi genderbend thread.

And no, Kerokun won't take on the Mitsuru role.

Ah. :3

Then we'll just need to OC-fy him.

Originally Posted by Keroko

Does that mean Grandis has a rival?

In that timeline, possibly. It's all in the extension. :3