Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha Character Creation and Discussion

[AdmiralTigerclaw]

Back up for a quick note-to-self.

If the Familliars fall through, the Unison device strikes my fancy as well..

How it would function.

The Twin Unisons have distinct ability sets that individually, compliment Lynn's abilities. One at a time, Lynn can unison and gain the ability set of one, plus a mild power boost.

However, the nature of the twin unisons allows them to BOTH unison with her. When this occures, their specific abilities are unusable, but she gets a MAJOR power boost. (So it's a three way tradeoff.) I could use that and rewrite some of her high end abilities to rely on that. Like her Heaven's Lightning Hammer.

Let me know by morning which I should go with so I can start working out the bugs...

Tigerclaw out.

[LoweGear]

Originally Posted by AdmiralTigerclaw

Okay, it's time for some Tigercrack.


Remember, this is the first draft, and I've spent what is probably that last... *Looks at clock.*
Oh dear... Six hours and forty minutes on it. Has it really taken that long?

Sheesh...

Spoiler for Lynn!:

Lynn A. Bardou

Spoiler for subnotes from start of work:

Valkyrie Lind OC Profile notes:


NAME BASE (Valkyrie base name): Hrund -- Lind, Lindy, Linda::
Lynn

NAME BASE 2 (Car related to animal related to valkyries: Wolf -- Lupus -- Lupo (Car)... Bardou (Axe Weilding Wolf)

-Lynn Ayame Bardou-



Weapon Name Base - Raven: Corvus Corax - 'Corvus'?


Waldron = Powerful Raven

Callsign base name: Thanatos "Messenger of Death" (Greek)

----------------------------

NAME: Lynn Ayame Bardou

CALLSIGN: Thanatos 1
RANK: Captain
POSITION: Elite Enforcer Unit Special Weapons And Tactics, Shock Enforcer
AGE: 32
MAGE CLASS: AA (6.14, see attributes chart at bottom of page.)

Spoiler for Futureweapons Style Introduction:

[Futureweapons Narration]

'When the situation is far beyond the capabilities of just about every mage in the field, when the problem is so far out of hand that even the greatest aces can no longer handle it, when even the most optimistic find it to be a hopeless lost cause... The TSAB don't get mad, they get even, and send in the SWAT. And these are not just your regular Special Weapons And Tactics. These are the ELITE, the Shock Enforcers.

Unlike conventional mages, who tend to perform a wide range of missions ranging from rescue, to combat duty, to seize and secure... Shock Enforcers only have one mission: Search, and Destroy.
Training every day for battles they may never see, these elite special forces mages are prepared to tackle just about any situation, any adversary, anywhere. Quickly, easily, and lethally, all at the drop of a hat.
They employ an impressive array of powerful magical techniques based on causing maximum damage, confusion, and terror in the enemy, in the shortest time possible. Their reputation for their performance is nothing short of intimidating, and they are quite simply, terrifying to be up against.
Trust me, you don't want to be the one they're after when they knock down the door... because the whole building is probably going to be knocked down with it.

And leading this Elite Unit, is the most terrifying of them all:
Captain Lynn A. Bardou. Thanatos One.'

[/Futureweapons Narration]

Spoiler for Personal History:

From age Six, young Lynn had been enchanted with the idea of becoming an Enforcer. A protector of the peace who would matte out justice to the unjust, and protect the people.
It was unfortunate that the accident that resulted in the Abandoned City on Mid Childa killed her parents and left her orphaned before age eight.

Feeling betrayed by the universe at the eradication of her happy childhood, she became determined to prove herself as an Enforcer, and to bring criminals everywhere to justice. So much was her determination and anger that before she even reached puberty, she was subjecting her body to a grueling training regimen that bordered on torturous... Seeking to make herself stronger in magic, body, and mind.
So intense was this training in fact, that she had been hospitalized three times and told not to continue. But she did anyway. By the time she was old enough to take the Enforcer exams for the TSAB, she had built up such an astounding tolerance for pain and exhaustion that she didn't win her combat challenges by skill, but by simply bullrushing her instructors and ignoring spells that quickly escalated into actual combat ranges.

Her combat training came later, and once again, it astounded and frightened her instructors. Lynn would train endlessly on her own between lessons, always seeming to seek more and more power, under harsh training regimens that would exhaust a normal mage. But she simply demanded more, and then crushed it underfoot. By the time she completed her training and qualified as an enforcer, her combat abilities were nothing but Phenominal.

It became clear soon after her qualification that she just wasn't cut out for being an Enforcer... Or rather, the Enforcer position wasn't made to handle her level of combat skill. Lynn was for lack of a better term, aggressive. Beyond aggressive. Often the first into a fight, and quickest to close combat, she would often be knee deep in trouble before any backup could even get into range. Overextending herself time and again, as well as an insane agression level left her opponents in a state of frenzied panic, she was seen as far too wild. Her collatteral in many pitched fights, was nothing short of spectacular. If it was in the way, it got knocked down, simple as that.

However, while it was deemed dangerous to a degree, it was also seen as potential untapped. Conceptually, a new unit was formed in the Enforcers to encompass an Elite Strike Unit for situations where the only way to take an adversary out was with immediate, unrestrained, overkill. The entire concept was based on Shock Troopers... and the Shock Enforcers were born.

Lynn in person isn't as frightening as she is in combat. Pollite, but serious, she doesn't look to provoke, and doesn't bother to insult, patronize, or otherwise do any kind of deliberate brown nosing. She quite simply, states facts as she sees them. Which can be quite frustrating to some, but her fearsome reputation keeps most people who don't know her from voicing counter oppinions.

Spoiler for Familliars:

FAMILLIARS: The Mint sisters Cool, and Spear

The twin Familliars were created by Lynn shortly after she was moved to the new Shock Enforcers unit. They assist her in combat for areas outside her normal specialties as she requires. Unlike most cat, or dog styled familliars, Cool and Spear are both midnight black Ravens, intelligent and deadly, and in animal form, smaller, and easier to support.


COOL MINT: The calm one, Cool Mint is a cunning planner, and keen eye. She rules the domain of information dominance, watching the battlefield unceasingly and talking to Lynn telepathicly about the broader spectrum of events.

- Shadow of Fear: Asside from acting as Lynn's living scout, Cool can focus her will upon an unsuspecting target with a mere stare. As long as direct line-of-site contact is not broken, the target feels suddenly insecure, jittery, and in some weaker opponents, fearful for what seems to be no reason.


SPEAR MINT: The short fuse. Spear Mint is artillery, plain and simple, a direct tactical compliment to Lynn's natural point of attack. And from a bird platform, that is frightening. Her specialty is lightning magics and ranged offensive power.

- Lightning Spear: Spear Mint will settle in high above the battle area and begin hurling lightning attacks of moderate power at any targets of oppertunity she happens to notice.

Spoiler for Combat Abilities:

LYNN'S COMBAT ABILITIES
Lynn specializes in vicious close quarters fighting, relying on a doctrine of speed, power, and psychological warfare to multiply her combat power. Her magical focus is on barrier breaking impacts and first strike 'killing blows'.


Intelligent Rod (Axe) 'Waldron' (Female Device Voice, See notes just before Ranking Profile): Lynn is a master of pole armed close combat. Her intelligent device, Waldron, is a fearsome single bladed battle axe with a spear point on its head that holds a vicious ability to smash, cut, and peirce through obstacles at will. Considering projectile magics too slow to use, costly, and ineffective, Lynn's device operates almost exclusively in contact magic attacks.

- Raven Call (Logistic/Tactical): Lynn can summon Waldron from anywhere. And we mean anywhere. Whether it is calling it to her side in battle, calling it from the corpse of a fallen enemy, or summoning it from a pool of magma, Waldron obeys, and materializes in her grasp.

- Mjolnir Strike (Contact Offensive, barrier breaker): *Pronunciation 'MUOLL-neer Strike' *
Concentraiting magical energy into the swing and leading blade edge of Waldron, the most common magical attack Lynn has at her disposal is nothing short of getting straight to the point at maximum force. The blow it unleashes cleaves through solid steel armor over meter thick, and shatters concrete on contact. Barriers and shields mean little to this strike, often shattering immediately on impact, leaving the mage on the recieving end to deal with bone crushing force with little more than the protection of their barrier jackets to save them.

- Gungnir Strike: (Contact Offensive, weapon throw, barrier breaker, semi-guided.) When Lynn decides to let go of Waldron, it's usually as dangerous as when she's holding it. Instead of along the axe blade, the magical energy concentraits along the spear like head at the end, and Lynn throws the whole device like a Javaline. Waldron then flies under its own intelligent magical guidance to place itself on target. The results are often just as terrifying as the Mjolnir Strike, usually shattering barriers and pinning forces to the wall. (Those that survive.)

- Odin's Wrath (Non-Contact Offensive, Projectile, Wide Area): The only true projection attack in Lynn's personal arsenal, but it's a monster. A swing from her mighty axe using this attack, and Lynn unleashes a devastating blast of air capable of destroying heavy structures with ease.
Depending on the way she swings her blade, she can divide large bodies of water, cut office buildings in half, or take out innumerable foes in a wide arc in front of her. If she winds back with her axe well outside of melee range, get out of alignment with her swinging arc... FAST. However, since the attack isn't concentraited force, it is much easier to defend against with barriers. Though many times, this may just be a distraction for a closing move or as a method of dealing with cannon fodder level enemies.


Bare Handed: Despite Waldron being a good friend and useful device, Lynn still considers her merely a 'safety device'. Having progressed in bare handed combat since she was eight, her abilities in bare handed brutality far outstrip anything she does with her axe.

(NOTE: Lynn's Focus on Bare Handed techniques, and the comment on 'safety device' are homage to the manga Lind, who makes the epic comment after Hilde removes her axe from the fight. "That's not a weapon, THAT'S A SAFETY DEVICE!")

- Iron will, Iron fist (Reinforcement, condition):
Concentraiting magical energy into her arms, legs, and hands, Lynn turns her own limbs into tools of pure destruction, able to punch straight into solid plate steel without busting a knuckle. Able to guard from bladed devices and magical attacks with unshielded arms, to see her charging you down, and batting stinger blades and axel shooters asside is simply a psychological horror for any conventional mage.

- Point Buster (Contact Offensive, Barrier Breaker):
Ever wonder what a divine buster would do if it was not drawn out in a beam, but delivered into one spot, all at once? Lynn knows, she created the Point Buster, taking her Iron Will technique to the next level. Magical energy is concentraited in her fist the same way the Mjolnir strike works in Waldron, then delivered almost explosively to her opponent or target in the form of a punch.

- Flash Step (Movement, instantanious)
Flash Step is to Lynn, what Sonic Move, and Flash move are to other mages. Unlike normal flash moving, which carries momenum after accellerating, Flash Step litterally starts, and stops, in one step. Lynn will use it both in the air, or on the ground, to instantly cover distances to the precise spot she wishes to be in the blink of an eye.

- Flash Dance (Movement, continuous)
Flash step taken to the extreme. It requires Lynn's entire focus and willpower to keep this technique up. She litterally moves continuously at the speed and pacing of a flash step or sonic move, appearing to be a blur at best.

(NOTE: Flash Step and Dance are based off Lind's display of the Golden Eye mark of True power sequence, where she blitzes Hild in the Anime's OVA and Hilde has to go up to 50% of her true power just to keep step.)

- Heaven's Lightning Hammer (Contact offensive, barrier breaker)
If the point buster was frightening, the HLH, is simply too much for words. This attack, is a kick. A BIG kick. Lynn will jump, or fly, high into the sky, then concentrait the same kind of magic force as her point buster, into her foot, and come down on the target like a meteor, smashing straight through barriers, walls, and other reinforcing materials, flattening, crushing, or just plain annihilating opponents like a divine force.

(This one's homage to Lind's meteor smash looking attack on the angel eater in the OVA.)

Defensive Notes:

Lynn believes in the concept that offense is the best defense, so you won't see her hiding behind barriers very often. However, she still wears a barrier jacket of her design, and knows the basic defensive barrier and shield spells for their limited use.



Psychological Impact:
Lynn recognizes that both her reputation, and her ferocity in combat have an adverse affect on all but the most hardy of opponents, and utilizes this to a great degree. She often never speaks at all to opponents in combat, casting an ominous silence as she goes about, only broken by blood chilling battle cries... relying on psychic broadcasts to do most of her communicating.


::SPECIALS::

- Lance and Again (Combo move.)
Lynn will throw Waldron, whether it's a Gungnir strike, or just a spear-like throw, she'll then summon it back to her hand with a Raven Call as soon as it hits, and repeat the action if she wishes to.


- Heavenly Descent (Signature Combination Move):
If Lynn has a target in her sight right at the opening of the fight, she will use this to try and start, AND FINISH, the fight. Starting from altitude, she will approach the target while applying flash dance to accellerate, build energy into Waldron for Mjolnir Strike, and then she will employ short range transfer/movement magic at the same time, and attempt to cover over a kilometer of distance to close combat range in no time flat and hit full force with Waldron...
To those who've been caught by this attack, it appears as if Lynn emerges from a fireball descending from the skies to deliver divine punishment in a single axe blow of judgement.

(NOTE: This is direct homage to Lind's 'descent' scene near the end of the first TV series, when she comes hurtling down out of a fireball to attack the Lord of Terror infecting Keiichi.)


- Odin's Thunderbolt (Team Move, requires Cool and Spear.)
This is an extended Gungnir Strike, made possible only by cooperation between Cool and Spear. Cool will give Lynn precise long range information on a distant opponent, Lynn will throw the strike in that direction, and Waldron will take care of mid-flight details. If the opponent is using any kind of barrier, the shattering of the barrier by the Gungnir Strike will leave the opponent vulnerable to the followup attack from Spear.

Spoiler for Waldron Speach Patterns:

Waldron: Speach Patterns

Addresses owner [MILADY] (Addresses males as 'Milord')

Recognition: (Of owner, of Command) [TO SERVE] or [WITH HONOR]

Affirmation [YES]

Negetive: [NAY] or [NO]

Confirmation: [IT SHALL BE] or [CONSIDER IT DONE]

Warning: [BEWARE!]

PHYSICAL PROFILE ATTRIBUTES 8 (SS-)
Strength 7
Stamina 9 (She just keeps going, and going, and going...)
Speed 8
Reflexes 8
Dexterity 8

MENTAL PROFILE ATTRIBUTES 5 (A-)
Intelligence 5
Wisdom 4
Judgement 5
Decision Time 8
Creativity 3

MAGIC PROFILE ATTRIBUTES 6.3 (AA)
Magic Capacity 7
Recovery 7
Max Discharge 5

COMBAT PROFILE ATTRIBUTES 6.2 (AA-)
Magical Attack 7
Magical Defense 2
Battle Option Variability 3
Melee Attack 9 (Single strike kill moves?!)
Melee Defense 7
Stress Management 8
Skill 8

BEHAVIOR PROFILE ATTRIBUTES 5.2 (A-)
Compassion 0 (Don't get in the way, or you'll get flattened.)
Loyalty 8
Submission (To Authority) 8
Confidence 9 (She WILL win, you WILL lose. This is not oppinion, this is 'fact'.)
Charisma 1 (A little too serious most of the time.)

OVERALL 6.14 (AA)

RANK::CATAGORY::SCORE
X - IMPOSSIBLE (INSANE) - 10
SSS - PHENOMINAL - 9
SS - SUPREME - 8
S - EXCELLENT - 7
AA - GREAT - 6
A - VERY GOOD - 5
B - ABOVE AVERAGE - 4
C - AVERAGE - 3
D - BELOW AVERAGE - 2
E - POOR - 1
F - NON FACTOR - 0

Oh, and on that Note from Jimmy on Twin Familliars, I read it, but I was already pretty much done, so I'll leave what I've got in this draft. I did make a minor alteration to see if it can be gotten away with under technicality.

As for now, time for bed... G'Night. *THUD*

Spoiler for Unleashes Video power...:

And finally Lind arrives as Lynn!

Though in a way, her history makes her sound like a female version of... Master Chief? No problems with her history as far as I'm concerned.

And thinking of Richard Machowicz narrating that opening:

WINRAR

Originally Posted by FlameSparkZ

Wow, what they say is true...real life can be wierder than fiction

Stranger things have happened

Originally Posted by Chaos2Frozen

What the- ?!

*goes to check FF thread*

GODDAMNIT !

I spent just 5 hours playing DOTA in school and now I missed the chance to slam Haru !!

THIS IS JUST NOT FAIR !!!

~,~,~,~,~,~,~,~,~,~,~,~,~,~,~,~,~,~,~,~,~,~

*Several pills later...*

One piece of advice though, next time, do your best to keep it short and summarized.

Haru's attention and comprehension span isn't his strong points.


*Grumble grumble...*

There'll be a next time

Originally Posted by AdmiralTigerclaw

Back up for a quick note-to-self.

If the Familliars fall through, the Unison device strikes my fancy as well..

How it would function.

The Twin Unisons have distinct ability sets that individually, compliment Lynn's abilities. One at a time, Lynn can unison and gain the ability set of one, plus a mild power boost.

However, the nature of the twin unisons allows them to BOTH unison with her. When this occures, their specific abilities are unusable, but she gets a MAJOR power boost. (So it's a three way tradeoff.) I could use that and rewrite some of her high end abilities to rely on that. Like her Heaven's Lightning Hammer.

Let me know by morning which I should go with so I can start working out the bugs...

Tigerclaw out.

I like this idea the best out of all the ideas so far. Basically each UD has it's own speciality, but sacrifices that specialty for raw energy when they unite, which cuts down on the potential H4XX, though it's still up to the presentation to determine whether it is or not.

[Kha]

Originally Posted by Aaron008R

*crawls in*

Sorry. No time again.

In fact, I don't think I can move much for this entire week. I need to set some things straight in school. GenerationS Chapter 1.3 is also experiencing a holdup as well since I inserted another combat scene, not to mention giving Hayate some proper props in her battle plans since I almost let my foot slip into the 'Canon carries the idiot ball' mistake...

And I guess there's still a lot of reworking to do after all. >_< I guess it might end up with a 15k or higher word count. And that's just two or three unequal-length scenarios...

I'll be adding two more sections as well for moar Tesla and a summary of Tiara's functions... I also have to rework a couple of scenes... And also tone down on the HAXX... And I have to make absolutely clear Hayate's overwhelming output compared to Aurion...

Ugaahhh...:eye spin:

I'm not much better. I'm still stuck on Rebuilt's prologue!!!

Originally Posted by LoweGear

Makes me imagine the GN-X with Power Weapons and wards while glowing with a divine white light

Just consecrate their GN particles, affix the wards and choose Power Weapon from the Celestial Being armory and viola!

Originally Posted by LoweGear

Or the most common comparison, "Tenchi meets Evangelion"

And that.

Originally Posted by LoweGear

It's the sentiment that counts... I can't even find some decent Dual pics

And D all the way

Originally Posted by LoweGear

*notes down*

Hardly use Omniknight, but I think that build I can use on Sven as well (whom I just spent the last half hour killing with... until net got disconnected )

OK is a support STR hero that could use some Int and mana regen, so Cyclone helps, but after imagining that on Sven I see what it can do!

Originally Posted by LoweGear

One of the earliest OC creations actually, though he eventually got forgotten

Correct

Funny thing is, he's all over Kha's Rebuilt profile.

Originally Posted by LoweGear

You want the long version or the short one? Nah, I think I'll provide both:

Spoiler for Short Version:

Basically it involves a marital legal scuffle that ended up in my niece becoming my younger sister.

Spoiler for Long Edit Version aka My Name is Lowe:

Okay okay

It started 5 years ago when my older sister (a year older) got into a falling out with my parents regarding an issue with her getting a boyfriend when she's not supposed to. So one day she skips school and dissapears forever...

Which translates to about a couple of years doing odd jobs and getting comfy with her guy.

After some on-off on-off negotiations with the family my sis and the guy are finally given the blessing to tie the knot... which would be right after they gave birth to a healthy young girl, aka the sole person in the latest generation of the family.

While obviously the baby would've been a good reason for the two to get married already, for some inexplicable reason the guy keeps postponing the marriage, which is already sounding veeery fishy...

By this time sis had fully reconciliated with the rest of the family, and for a short period she moves back in with us while waiting in the wings for the eventual ceremony...

Now here's the reeaal kicker. One day the guy visits to see his daughter... and in the process unleashes shi-loads of colorfully unholy language, improper conduct and DIS R.E.S.P.E.C.T. unto our extended family members.

Suffice it to say the guy went from would-be-future-brother-in-law to He-who-shall-not-be-named (HWSNBN for short) Voldemort style reviled by everyone on this side of the fence... including my sis, who broke off with him and took the baby under her custody.

The last act in the puzzle was when HWSNBN here tries to get the baby back but in the process has the baby listed as... illegitimate, since you know the two never got married.

... which then leads to the Holy Powers Of Legality smashing thine hammer unto the guy, thus severing ANY and all connection to my sis and the baby. In the process though the baby's old identity as my sister's daughter ceased to be, and instead my parents adopted their granddaughter under their name... thus in effect my niece became my youngest sister

And that's the gist of it

That's rather intriguing... and at the same time so sad.

Originally Posted by LoweGear

Aaah the GL/300 AMV, the best one out there

S&W: TONIGHT WE DINE IN HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mai: ...

Yes, you will.

...



S&W:

*runs*

Kai: Come on, let us be on this just this once.

Originally Posted by FlameSparkZ

But you forgot rank AAA, which would be 7 in score, making X an 11 (which would be reasonable, since X is 'off the charts' )

*goes back to reading Shina Dark*

*Kluize sneezes*

Originally Posted by AdmiralTigerclaw

Okay, it's time for some Tigercrack.


Remember, this is the first draft, and I've spent what is probably that last... *Looks at clock.*
Oh dear... Six hours and forty minutes on it. Has it really taken that long?

Sheesh...

Spoiler for Lynn!:

Lynn A. Bardou

Spoiler for subnotes from start of work:

Valkyrie Lind OC Profile notes:


NAME BASE (Valkyrie base name): Hrund -- Lind, Lindy, Linda::
Lynn

NAME BASE 2 (Car related to animal related to valkyries: Wolf -- Lupus -- Lupo (Car)... Bardou (Axe Weilding Wolf)

-Lynn Ayame Bardou-



Weapon Name Base - Raven: Corvus Corax - 'Corvus'?


Waldron = Powerful Raven

Callsign base name: Thanatos "Messenger of Death" (Greek)

----------------------------

NAME: Lynn Ayame Bardou

CALLSIGN: Thanatos 1
RANK: Captain
POSITION: Elite Enforcer Unit Special Weapons And Tactics, Shock Enforcer
AGE: 32
MAGE CLASS: AA (6.14, see attributes chart at bottom of page.)

Spoiler for Futureweapons Style Introduction:

[Futureweapons Narration]

'When the situation is far beyond the capabilities of just about every mage in the field, when the problem is so far out of hand that even the greatest aces can no longer handle it, when even the most optimistic find it to be a hopeless lost cause... The TSAB don't get mad, they get even, and send in the SWAT. And these are not just your regular Special Weapons And Tactics. These are the ELITE, the Shock Enforcers.

Unlike conventional mages, who tend to perform a wide range of missions ranging from rescue, to combat duty, to seize and secure... Shock Enforcers only have one mission: Search, and Destroy.
Training every day for battles they may never see, these elite special forces mages are prepared to tackle just about any situation, any adversary, anywhere. Quickly, easily, and lethally, all at the drop of a hat.
They employ an impressive array of powerful magical techniques based on causing maximum damage, confusion, and terror in the enemy, in the shortest time possible. Their reputation for their performance is nothing short of intimidating, and they are quite simply, terrifying to be up against.
Trust me, you don't want to be the one they're after when they knock down the door... because the whole building is probably going to be knocked down with it.

And leading this Elite Unit, is the most terrifying of them all:
Captain Lynn A. Bardou. Thanatos One.'

[/Futureweapons Narration]

Spoiler for Personal History:

From age Six, young Lynn had been enchanted with the idea of becoming an Enforcer. A protector of the peace who would matte out justice to the unjust, and protect the people.
It was unfortunate that the accident that resulted in the Abandoned City on Mid Childa killed her parents and left her orphaned before age eight.

Feeling betrayed by the universe at the eradication of her happy childhood, she became determined to prove herself as an Enforcer, and to bring criminals everywhere to justice. So much was her determination and anger that before she even reached puberty, she was subjecting her body to a grueling training regimen that bordered on torturous... Seeking to make herself stronger in magic, body, and mind.
So intense was this training in fact, that she had been hospitalized three times and told not to continue. But she did anyway. By the time she was old enough to take the Enforcer exams for the TSAB, she had built up such an astounding tolerance for pain and exhaustion that she didn't win her combat challenges by skill, but by simply bullrushing her instructors and ignoring spells that quickly escalated into actual combat ranges.

Her combat training came later, and once again, it astounded and frightened her instructors. Lynn would train endlessly on her own between lessons, always seeming to seek more and more power, under harsh training regimens that would exhaust a normal mage. But she simply demanded more, and then crushed it underfoot. By the time she completed her training and qualified as an enforcer, her combat abilities were nothing but Phenominal.

It became clear soon after her qualification that she just wasn't cut out for being an Enforcer... Or rather, the Enforcer position wasn't made to handle her level of combat skill. Lynn was for lack of a better term, aggressive. Beyond aggressive. Often the first into a fight, and quickest to close combat, she would often be knee deep in trouble before any backup could even get into range. Overextending herself time and again, as well as an insane agression level left her opponents in a state of frenzied panic, she was seen as far too wild. Her collatteral in many pitched fights, was nothing short of spectacular. If it was in the way, it got knocked down, simple as that.

However, while it was deemed dangerous to a degree, it was also seen as potential untapped. Conceptually, a new unit was formed in the Enforcers to encompass an Elite Strike Unit for situations where the only way to take an adversary out was with immediate, unrestrained, overkill. The entire concept was based on Shock Troopers... and the Shock Enforcers were born.

Lynn in person isn't as frightening as she is in combat. Pollite, but serious, she doesn't look to provoke, and doesn't bother to insult, patronize, or otherwise do any kind of deliberate brown nosing. She quite simply, states facts as she sees them. Which can be quite frustrating to some, but her fearsome reputation keeps most people who don't know her from voicing counter oppinions.

Spoiler for Familliars:

FAMILLIARS: The Mint sisters Cool, and Spear

The twin Familliars were created by Lynn shortly after she was moved to the new Shock Enforcers unit. They assist her in combat for areas outside her normal specialties as she requires. Unlike most cat, or dog styled familliars, Cool and Spear are both midnight black Ravens, intelligent and deadly, and in animal form, smaller, and easier to support.


COOL MINT: The calm one, Cool Mint is a cunning planner, and keen eye. She rules the domain of information dominance, watching the battlefield unceasingly and talking to Lynn telepathicly about the broader spectrum of events.

- Shadow of Fear: Asside from acting as Lynn's living scout, Cool can focus her will upon an unsuspecting target with a mere stare. As long as direct line-of-site contact is not broken, the target feels suddenly insecure, jittery, and in some weaker opponents, fearful for what seems to be no reason.


SPEAR MINT: The short fuse. Spear Mint is artillery, plain and simple, a direct tactical compliment to Lynn's natural point of attack. And from a bird platform, that is frightening. Her specialty is lightning magics and ranged offensive power.

- Lightning Spear: Spear Mint will settle in high above the battle area and begin hurling lightning attacks of moderate power at any targets of oppertunity she happens to notice.

Spoiler for Combat Abilities:

LYNN'S COMBAT ABILITIES
Lynn specializes in vicious close quarters fighting, relying on a doctrine of speed, power, and psychological warfare to multiply her combat power. Her magical focus is on barrier breaking impacts and first strike 'killing blows'.


Intelligent Rod (Axe) 'Waldron' (Female Device Voice, See notes just before Ranking Profile): Lynn is a master of pole armed close combat. Her intelligent device, Waldron, is a fearsome single bladed battle axe with a spear point on its head that holds a vicious ability to smash, cut, and peirce through obstacles at will. Considering projectile magics too slow to use, costly, and ineffective, Lynn's device operates almost exclusively in contact magic attacks.

- Raven Call (Logistic/Tactical): Lynn can summon Waldron from anywhere. And we mean anywhere. Whether it is calling it to her side in battle, calling it from the corpse of a fallen enemy, or summoning it from a pool of magma, Waldron obeys, and materializes in her grasp.

- Mjolnir Strike (Contact Offensive, barrier breaker): *Pronunciation 'MUOLL-neer Strike' *
Concentraiting magical energy into the swing and leading blade edge of Waldron, the most common magical attack Lynn has at her disposal is nothing short of getting straight to the point at maximum force. The blow it unleashes cleaves through solid steel armor over meter thick, and shatters concrete on contact. Barriers and shields mean little to this strike, often shattering immediately on impact, leaving the mage on the recieving end to deal with bone crushing force with little more than the protection of their barrier jackets to save them.

- Gungnir Strike: (Contact Offensive, weapon throw, barrier breaker, semi-guided.) When Lynn decides to let go of Waldron, it's usually as dangerous as when she's holding it. Instead of along the axe blade, the magical energy concentraits along the spear like head at the end, and Lynn throws the whole device like a Javaline. Waldron then flies under its own intelligent magical guidance to place itself on target. The results are often just as terrifying as the Mjolnir Strike, usually shattering barriers and pinning forces to the wall. (Those that survive.)

- Odin's Wrath (Non-Contact Offensive, Projectile, Wide Area): The only true projection attack in Lynn's personal arsenal, but it's a monster. A swing from her mighty axe using this attack, and Lynn unleashes a devastating blast of air capable of destroying heavy structures with ease.
Depending on the way she swings her blade, she can divide large bodies of water, cut office buildings in half, or take out innumerable foes in a wide arc in front of her. If she winds back with her axe well outside of melee range, get out of alignment with her swinging arc... FAST. However, since the attack isn't concentraited force, it is much easier to defend against with barriers. Though many times, this may just be a distraction for a closing move or as a method of dealing with cannon fodder level enemies.


Bare Handed: Despite Waldron being a good friend and useful device, Lynn still considers her merely a 'safety device'. Having progressed in bare handed combat since she was eight, her abilities in bare handed brutality far outstrip anything she does with her axe.

(NOTE: Lynn's Focus on Bare Handed techniques, and the comment on 'safety device' are homage to the manga Lind, who makes the epic comment after Hilde removes her axe from the fight. "That's not a weapon, THAT'S A SAFETY DEVICE!")

- Iron will, Iron fist (Reinforcement, condition):
Concentraiting magical energy into her arms, legs, and hands, Lynn turns her own limbs into tools of pure destruction, able to punch straight into solid plate steel without busting a knuckle. Able to guard from bladed devices and magical attacks with unshielded arms, to see her charging you down, and batting stinger blades and axel shooters asside is simply a psychological horror for any conventional mage.

- Point Buster (Contact Offensive, Barrier Breaker):
Ever wonder what a divine buster would do if it was not drawn out in a beam, but delivered into one spot, all at once? Lynn knows, she created the Point Buster, taking her Iron Will technique to the next level. Magical energy is concentraited in her fist the same way the Mjolnir strike works in Waldron, then delivered almost explosively to her opponent or target in the form of a punch.

- Flash Step (Movement, instantanious)
Flash Step is to Lynn, what Sonic Move, and Flash move are to other mages. Unlike normal flash moving, which carries momenum after accellerating, Flash Step litterally starts, and stops, in one step. Lynn will use it both in the air, or on the ground, to instantly cover distances to the precise spot she wishes to be in the blink of an eye.

- Flash Dance (Movement, continuous)
Flash step taken to the extreme. It requires Lynn's entire focus and willpower to keep this technique up. She litterally moves continuously at the speed and pacing of a flash step or sonic move, appearing to be a blur at best.

(NOTE: Flash Step and Dance are based off Lind's display of the Golden Eye mark of True power sequence, where she blitzes Hild in the Anime's OVA and Hilde has to go up to 50% of her true power just to keep step.)

- Heaven's Lightning Hammer (Contact offensive, barrier breaker)
If the point buster was frightening, the HLH, is simply too much for words. This attack, is a kick. A BIG kick. Lynn will jump, or fly, high into the sky, then concentrait the same kind of magic force as her point buster, into her foot, and come down on the target like a meteor, smashing straight through barriers, walls, and other reinforcing materials, flattening, crushing, or just plain annihilating opponents like a divine force.

(This one's homage to Lind's meteor smash looking attack on the angel eater in the OVA.)

Defensive Notes:

Lynn believes in the concept that offense is the best defense, so you won't see her hiding behind barriers very often. However, she still wears a barrier jacket of her design, and knows the basic defensive barrier and shield spells for their limited use.



Psychological Impact:
Lynn recognizes that both her reputation, and her ferocity in combat have an adverse affect on all but the most hardy of opponents, and utilizes this to a great degree. She often never speaks at all to opponents in combat, casting an ominous silence as she goes about, only broken by blood chilling battle cries... relying on psychic broadcasts to do most of her communicating.


::SPECIALS::

- Lance and Again (Combo move.)
Lynn will throw Waldron, whether it's a Gungnir strike, or just a spear-like throw, she'll then summon it back to her hand with a Raven Call as soon as it hits, and repeat the action if she wishes to.


- Heavenly Descent (Signature Combination Move):
If Lynn has a target in her sight right at the opening of the fight, she will use this to try and start, AND FINISH, the fight. Starting from altitude, she will approach the target while applying flash dance to accellerate, build energy into Waldron for Mjolnir Strike, and then she will employ short range transfer/movement magic at the same time, and attempt to cover over a kilometer of distance to close combat range in no time flat and hit full force with Waldron...
To those who've been caught by this attack, it appears as if Lynn emerges from a fireball descending from the skies to deliver divine punishment in a single axe blow of judgement.

(NOTE: This is direct homage to Lind's 'descent' scene near the end of the first TV series, when she comes hurtling down out of a fireball to attack the Lord of Terror infecting Keiichi.)


- Odin's Thunderbolt (Team Move, requires Cool and Spear.)
This is an extended Gungnir Strike, made possible only by cooperation between Cool and Spear. Cool will give Lynn precise long range information on a distant opponent, Lynn will throw the strike in that direction, and Waldron will take care of mid-flight details. If the opponent is using any kind of barrier, the shattering of the barrier by the Gungnir Strike will leave the opponent vulnerable to the followup attack from Spear.

Spoiler for Waldron Speach Patterns:

Waldron: Speach Patterns

Addresses owner [MILADY] (Addresses males as 'Milord')

Recognition: (Of owner, of Command) [TO SERVE] or [WITH HONOR]

Affirmation [YES]

Negetive: [NAY] or [NO]

Confirmation: [IT SHALL BE] or [CONSIDER IT DONE]

Warning: [BEWARE!]

PHYSICAL PROFILE ATTRIBUTES 8 (SS-)
Strength 7
Stamina 9 (She just keeps going, and going, and going...)
Speed 8
Reflexes 8
Dexterity 8

MENTAL PROFILE ATTRIBUTES 5 (A-)
Intelligence 5
Wisdom 4
Judgement 5
Decision Time 8
Creativity 3

MAGIC PROFILE ATTRIBUTES 6.3 (AA)
Magic Capacity 7
Recovery 7
Max Discharge 5

COMBAT PROFILE ATTRIBUTES 6.2 (AA-)
Magical Attack 7
Magical Defense 2
Battle Option Variability 3
Melee Attack 9 (Single strike kill moves?!)
Melee Defense 7
Stress Management 8
Skill 8

BEHAVIOR PROFILE ATTRIBUTES 5.2 (A-)
Compassion 0 (Don't get in the way, or you'll get flattened.)
Loyalty 8
Submission (To Authority) 8
Confidence 9 (She WILL win, you WILL lose. This is not oppinion, this is 'fact'.)
Charisma 1 (A little too serious most of the time.)

OVERALL 6.14 (AA)

RANK::CATAGORY::SCORE
X - IMPOSSIBLE (INSANE) - 10
SSS - PHENOMINAL - 9
SS - SUPREME - 8
S - EXCELLENT - 7
AA - GREAT - 6
A - VERY GOOD - 5
B - ABOVE AVERAGE - 4
C - AVERAGE - 3
D - BELOW AVERAGE - 2
E - POOR - 1
F - NON FACTOR - 0

Oh, and on that Note from Jimmy on Twin Familliars, I read it, but I was already pretty much done, so I'll leave what I've got in this draft. I did make a minor alteration to see if it can be gotten away with under technicality.

As for now, time for bed... G'Night. *THUD*

Spoiler for Unleashes Video power...:

To be honest, Lynn should've lost all her magic potential long ago at the way she stresses herself.

I'm not too sure about the familiars; they look okay to me...

And if it all goes well:

Gimmy: Good brothers! We have company to share our high pedestal with! And I say, let's welcome them. Let's welcome them aboard with open arms, COS WE'RE MOVING TO AN EVEN HIGHER ONE!

ZIEG BELKA!!!

WM-X Battle-Brothers: ZIEG BELKA!!!

...I see great rivalry inbound.

Competition is good anyways.

[Jimmy C]

Originally Posted by AdmiralTigerclaw

Oh, and on that Note from Jimmy on Twin Familliars, I read it, but I was already pretty much done, so I'll leave what I've got in this draft. I did make a minor alteration to see if it can be gotten away with under technicality.

You mean the part where they're smaller and therefore easier to support? Almost, Cool Mint is ok, since she doesn't appear to use much energy even in combat situations. Spear Mint is a no go in her current state. Look at the amount of magic you have Lynn using in her own attacks, does she really have enough to spare for Spear Mint to throw "moderate" lightning bolts while she's throwing magic punches herself?
If those bolts don't have the power to inflict the kind of "one hit kills" Lynn seems to favor, why bother? But if they do, what does that leave Lynn for her own attacks?
Like the Odin's Thunderbolt combo, for example. After all the energy invested in getting Waldron to the target and smashing the barrier, how much is left over for the followup from Spear Mint? And why not put that energy into the main attack and take out the barrier and the target?
Remember, you set her to AA, so that's how much energy you have to work with. It can't all be in her and her familiars at the same time.
If you wish to stick with twin familiars, I suggest you find a non-combat or less energy intensive role for Spear Mint. Since you had her make them after she became a Shock Enforcer, they should both have roles that compliment her but doesn't use too much energy. It should also be roles that are best filled by two different familiars, or you'll have to answer the question, "Why need more than one?" You're half way there with Cool Mint.

Originally Posted by AdmiralTigerclaw

If the Familliars fall through, the Unison device strikes my fancy as well...

As nice as the idea is, you will then have to explain how and why she got her hands on the rarest type of magical devices available to Nanohaverse mages, and a pair together at that. This will expose you to even more haxbusting. But if you can come up with something plausible, why not?

Originally Posted by LoweGear

If I really were keeping to the theme of Lind, I'd pick out Liingo's twin Unison devices.

You mean my idea, right? Or did someone else already come up with that before?

Yep... AMG Goddesses are H4XX beyond anything the Nanohaverse can dish out... heck, they're top tier H4XX beyond what most other fictions can dish out.

I'm glad no one here has said the Aces are more powerful than the Goddesses. I actually have an idea for a post to debunk that if anyone tried. Goddesses aren't goddesses for nothing after all.

Originally Posted by kha

To be honest, Lynn should've lost all her magic potential long ago at the way she stresses herself.

ATC did mention she was hospitalized 3 times. But yeah, as an AA and with an even more strenous reigme than Nanoha's, she should have hit burnout even faster. You might want to rethink that too, ATC.

[LoweGear]

Originally Posted by Kha

Just consecrate their GN particles, affix the wards and choose Power Weapon from the Celestial Being armory and viola!

Feel the power of Aeolia Schenberg?

Though it's very apt though... like Aegis armor, these GN-X's are TOUGH

Originally Posted by Kha

OK is a support STR hero that could use some Int and mana regen, so Cyclone helps, but after imagining that on Sven I see what it can do!

Lemme hear what wonders you get out of that build

Originally Posted by Kha

That's rather intriguing... and at the same time so sad.

Sad for the guy maybe, but he deserved it

Kai: Come on, let us be on this just this once.

Mai: ...

Sou... dewa

*books Kai on the next boat to Hell*

Originally Posted by Kha

And if it all goes well:

Gimmy: Good brothers! We have company to share our high pedestal with! And I say, let's welcome them. Let's welcome them aboard with open arms, COS WE'RE MOVING TO AN EVEN HIGHER ONE!

ZIEG BELKA!!!

WM-X Battle-Brothers: ZIEG BELKA!!!

...I see great rivalry inbound.

Competition is good anyways.

Originally Posted by Jimmy C

You mean my idea, right? Or did someone else already come up with that before?

Woops my bad

The lack of avatars make me confuse between you

Originally Posted by "Jimmy C

I'm glad no one here has said the Aces are more powerful than the Goddesses. I actually have an idea for a post to debunk that if anyone tried. Goddesses aren't goddesses for nothing after all.

So do I

None of the Aces can smash worlds at a fraction of their power afterall, and none of them have a connection to a tree that controls the universe

[Kha]

Originally Posted by LoweGear

Feel the power of Aeolia Schenberg?

Though it's very apt though... like Aegis armor, these GN-X's are TOUGH

Feel the power of Aeolia Schenberg who is one guise of the Emperor of Man indeed.

And for that statement, I'm very tempted to Nyoron for subs instead of waiting for Menclave/SS.

Originally Posted by LoweGear

Lemme hear what wonders you get out of that build

Haven't tried it yet. Busy today.

Originally Posted by LoweGear

Sad for the guy maybe, but he deserved it

I was thinking about your niece/imouto. Maybe it's just me, but IMO losing a parent for whatever reason is always sad. It may be the best route out, but somehow still makes me sad.

Too much empathy... Probably why I'm training in Med.

Originally Posted by LoweGear

Mai: ...

Sou... dewa

*books Kai on the next boat to Hell*

Kai: ...?!

Originally Posted by LoweGear

Gimmy's not the de-facto leader of the Cleric-Four for nothing.

Originally Posted by LoweGear

So do I

None of the Aces can smash worlds at a fraction of their power afterall, and none of them have a connection to a tree that controls the universe

[Ecclesarchy]

Only God Empress Vivio could smash worlds at a fraction of her power!!!

[/Ecclesarchy]

Pardon the random.

[LoweGear]

Originally Posted by Kha

Feel the power of Aeolia Schenberg who is one guise of the Emperor of Man indeed.

The Imperium of Man would've been a very different place with him around

Though I'm wondering who his Primarchs would be

Originally Posted by Kha

And for that statement, I'm very tempted to Nyoron for subs instead of waiting for Menclave/SS.

Wait

I'll give you one hint though:

Direct hit from Exia's beam guns? Piece of cake

Originally Posted by Kha

Haven't tried it yet. Busy today.

Will wait then

Originally Posted by Kha

I was thinking about your niece/imouto. Maybe it's just me, but IMO losing a parent for whatever reason is always sad. It may be the best route out, but somehow still makes me sad.

Too much empathy... Probably why I'm training in Med.

Well, that may be true. But IMHO she wouldn't even remember anyway, with him not being around her much from what I heard. Not to mention that we'd rather not want her remembering having a jerk as a "father"

Also, the family house is much better than the poor excuse for a flat my sis once lived in

Originally Posted by Kha

Kai: ...?!

S&W: Amen

Originally Posted by Kha

Gimmy's not the de-facto leader of the Cleric-Four for nothing.

I can see why

Originally Posted by Kha

[Kaiser Worshipper]

God Empress Vivio at the height of her power could smash worlds at a fraction of her power!!!

[/Kaiser Worshipper]

Pardon the random.

H4XXBusting at 5....4....3...



Nah, even with the Cradle Vivio is a superweapon on a city-destroyer scale, not something on the level of Urd or Belldandy

[Liingo]

Originally Posted by XenahortCharybdis

When I first heard that I was like sweatdropping like hell.

Keep sweatdropping then...... In the thread proper aside from me is Goose(On a short Hiatus), Aaron, and Keroko. Not including Ark and JimmyC who are in here from time to time to help clarify points as well. Oh and Tk as well (on a loooong hiatus)

Then it's alright to release the seal, you say...?

...*Xena's face changes*

AHA...

*Insane laughter as Xena claws his hand in front of his face*

WA-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

*CCTV screens burst open as the screen fades to black*

ONCE YOU RELEASE MY SEAL, THERE'S NO TURNING BACK...

Well give it your best I think the highest length in here yet as been 15k words(Kagerou) so go for it

Spoiler for Reply for Cecile:

On Cecile:

Oh well, that can be fixed (Black Immolation and Death Rasp)

Isn't Miasma Needle 'B', or did I screw up somewhere else? Need enlightenment.

You'll have to check the post again yourself... I've lost it already But I'm fallry certain it said something else (A or something higher...) My aplologies if I read it wrongly... It was about an 30 min before I headed to sleep last night when I did the reviewing.

Spoiler for Reply for Olivier:

On Olivier:

He's a stick-thin, wily old man...I was like going "LOL, it's SHAZAM" when I drew him. His arsenal's gonna be INSANE. Really INSANE.

Whoo Stick THIN His arsenal will be examined once it's revealed. Although he gets extra leeway since he's a villain.

Spoiler for Reply on the Twins:

On Artix and Azazel:

Ah, well, I made them to be like two peas in a pod, after all. I should have made it a little clearer though that their abilities are intrinsically linked, and they can only produce such power (on the BoD's scale) when they are acting together. It's also a matter of thought-synch too...like a human-human Unison.

And like, DAMN I knew some people would know the other name of Azazel.

I still find it highly unlikely that anything is going to come anywhere near the power output of the BoD when it was active.... It's only the most powerful thing that we've seen in canon after all which needed to get attacked by like what 6 AAA/S rankers and the arc-en-ciel before getting blown away (and that was just the defence program....)

Spoiler for Reply for Medorach:

On Medorach:

Oh, you noticed he's gonna fight the White Devil. I was under the impression that 1000 yards (approx 500m?) was only the limit back in the 1960-70s, when people would go "OMG you hit a 1000-yard shot!"

Unless, of course, the Midchildan crackdown on standard weapons caused a proportional decrease in range. He fires like some crazily focused shots, so I think logically he should be allowed to shoot further. It's his genjutsu I'm worried about, actually.

I'll tweak him accordingly though, so don't worry

The nuttersothers in the thread have recently gone through the calclations of firing range. The long ranged shot that Nanoha used againt Vita back in A's on that planet was only for a few hundred meters...... Unless you're saying that he's better than Nanoha, I'd say that you'd want to change the range/ nerf it heavily... (which reminds me. I need to go and ret-con part of my fic to better distances..)

Spoiler for Reply for Hudson:

On Hudson:

Time to switch on the MADMAN MODE.

"Come my minions, rise for your master, Let your madness shine!!!
Speed up now, yes, write ever faster-

In the light of the moon (x3)

It'll BE MADDDDDD!!!!!!!!"

Damn. I shoulda just called him RASPUTIN...

Well looks interesing...

Originally Posted by Kagerou

I never really explain it in the story, but basically, as a Combat Cyborg, even mortal wounds have a chance of not killing her (the same applies to Subaru). When the coroners came to get her, one of Yellow's agents came and got her body, replaced some parts, and was able to revive her.

Hmmm. I guess it works

Originally Posted by Keroko

Arguable. Subaru has two, for example. Wing Road and Vibration Shatter, although this can be atributed as her being a type-0.

The basic idea was that the second IS was granted because of Neltharion's essence, and make Uomo more like a true copy of Keroko. However this is subject to bustng if required. If the general opinion of the thread is 'no' then I'll have no trouble removing it.

Well go ahead then.. I wasn't too sure myself so I was checking with the people who know more(you )

Originally Posted by Saint X

I did a repost of Bridget and did a tweak on both guard and barrier...

======

"I forgot to add this" Note: Technically if any "Breaker" type spells are used against shim, the tax is already at 100~105%- meaning that the initial impact is the only thing that was cushoned/blocked. And she has a low mana pool so it's very taxing even with Overdrive on.

Sorry... I'm not too sure what you mean by the above statement.. Since that was the only thing that I could see added to the blocks. Could you clarify?
BTW thankyou for the co-operation

Originally Posted by Fuyu no Sora

Oh don't worry. Mods rarely ever come here, right? Besides, mostly everyone (or was it only The Founding Fathers and The Elders know about this) knows about my "relationship" with Chaos.

It's rare but they were more active in here quite recently so we're still a little on edge on provoking them.... Having the Sky Fall on our heads isn't something that we want to happen

And I take it that I'm an Elder?

Originally Posted by AdmiralTigerclaw

Okay, couple of different ideas.

Cool and Spear Mint as angels are a combination of friend, protection, and booster... so I can go different ways with this:

1 - Two barrier Jacket modes. Details to be made if I go into it.
2 - Twin Familliars al la Admiral Graham.
3 - NOT twin familiars, but two different familiars. (Say, keeping with the animal theme, one is a wolf, one is a bird.)

Going into more diversified territory.

4 - Wingmates of her 'squadron.' (At this point her squadron is Thanatos, she is Thanatos 1. Thanatos meaning 'messenger of death'.)

5 - Two other Intelligent Devices. (Imagine a mage with three devices...)

What would everyone want to go with? Pick a number.

Not sure if you're still taking votes but 5. I haven't actually watched AMG but just modes for the BJ seems underpowered while having twin familiars would mean that you're automatically a very strong mage (S ranked at least) to be able to "power" 2 of them.

Originally Posted by Kha

I know this is off-topic, but since we're all Cadians, this is our anthem!

Oy. Give credit where it's due please......

Originally Posted by LoweGear

You want the long version or the short one? Nah, I think I'll provide both:

Spoiler for Short Version:

Basically it involves a marital legal scuffle that ended up in my niece becoming my younger sister.

Spoiler for Long Edit Version aka My Name is Lowe:

Okay okay

It started 5 years ago when my older sister (a year older) got into a falling out with my parents regarding an issue with her getting a boyfriend when she's not supposed to. So one day she skips school and dissapears forever...

Which translates to about a couple of years doing odd jobs and getting comfy with her guy.

After some on-off on-off negotiations with the family my sis and the guy are finally given the blessing to tie the knot... which would be right after they gave birth to a healthy young girl, aka the sole person in the latest generation of the family.

While obviously the baby would've been a good reason for the two to get married already, for some inexplicable reason the guy keeps postponing the marriage, which is already sounding veeery fishy...

By this time sis had fully reconciliated with the rest of the family, and for a short period she moves back in with us while waiting in the wings for the eventual ceremony...

Now here's the reeaal kicker. One day the guy visits to see his daughter... and in the process unleashes shi-loads of colorfully unholy language, improper conduct and DIS R.E.S.P.E.C.T. unto our extended family members.

Suffice it to say the guy went from would-be-future-brother-in-law to He-who-shall-not-be-named (HWSNBN for short) Voldemort style reviled by everyone on this side of the fence... including my sis, who broke off with him and took the baby under her custody.

The last act in the puzzle was when HWSNBN here tries to get the baby back but in the process has the baby listed as... illegitimate, since you know the two never got married.

... which then leads to the Holy Powers Of Legality smashing thine hammer unto the guy, thus severing ANY and all connection to my sis and the baby. In the process though the baby's old identity as my sister's daughter ceased to be, and instead my parents adopted their granddaughter under their name... thus in effect my niece became my youngest sister

And that's the gist of it

If I really were keeping to the theme of Lind, I'd pick out Liingo's twin Unison devices.

Or, you could even have a single Unison device but with two aspects of the same base program, something like a more balanced and more refined version of Liingo's "MPD Unison Device" suggestion.

Errr......... So what did I miss now?

@USB
*Stamps rubber stamp of Approval*
Can't really see much to complain about.......

So who's Tomoya then...... Lucky b*tard

@ATC
If that's supposed to be an AA, Then all my characters are Under powered...............................

I'll say this right now, I haven't watched AMG so you may have scaled it down for all I know but at current, she's looking more a SS/SSS in terms of ranking just from her attack list alone.

While her desire for revenge is justified. I dont see how it would be able to sustain her during the physical torture that she puts herself through. Also I find it highly unlikely that the hospital would just discharge some one after taking her in like that. Once ok, Twice, maybe. Third Time?? She would have been locked up somewhere..

I'll let the others handle it from here since they'll be able to give you better feedback than I can.

[Kha]

Oh CRAP I CLEAN FORGOT!!!

The EPIC GL-300 Trailer worthy of this thread is accredited to Liingo-san!

Sorry.

Originally Posted by LoweGear

The Imperium of Man would've been a very different place with him around

Though I'm wondering who his Primarchs would be

What if the Imperium is what it is because that guise failed, causing Him to take another course of action for the same purpose?

And I think they'd be gigantic GN-scattering masters of war.

Originally Posted by LoweGear

Wait

I'll give you one hint though:

Direct hit from Exia's beam guns? Piece of cake

About time something stood up against that pea-shooter.

But if it can take Dynames or Virtue, then I'd go .

Originally Posted by LoweGear

Well, that may be true. But IMHO she wouldn't even remember anyway, with him not being around her much from what I heard. Not to mention that we'd rather not want her remembering having a jerk as a "father"

Also, the family house is much better than the poor excuse for a flat my sis once lived in

I understand perfectly well, and would advise this course of action all the same.

Originally Posted by LoweGear

S&W: Amen

Even innocent guys who are in no way obsessed about sex like you two?!

Originally Posted by LoweGear

I can see why

Still need to polish his style though. It's been changing according to the type of people he leads.

Originally Posted by LoweGear

H4XXBusting at 5....4....3...



Nah, even with the Cradle Vivio is a superweapon on a city-destroyer scale, not something on the level of Urd or Belldandy

Really? Za powaa of 2 moons you know.

But yeah chances are she'd burn herself alive from using all that mana at once.

Originally Posted by Liingo

And I take it that I'm an Eldar?

FIXED.

*watches WM-X's and Palatines jump Liingo*



*runs*

[Liingo]

Originally Posted by Kha

Oh CRAP I CLEAN FORGOT!!!

The EPIC GL-300 Trailer worthy of this thread is accredited to Liingo-san!

Sorry.

Well I got it from another source to begin with

FIXED.

Well I guess it works...

*watches WM-X's and Palatines jump Liingo*



*runs*

*dodges to one side before getting pinned by another red-shirt*

KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA You'll pay for this!!

[Kha]

Originally Posted by Liingo

Well I guess it works...

We're still wondering about that Eldar you let loose on Midchilda... Where'd he go? He might appear in Rebuilt after all...

Originally Posted by Liingo

*dodges to one side before getting pinned by another red-shirt*

KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA You'll pay for this!!

I only remembered the Ordo Maelleus after fixing the post so... Oops?

Anyway be glad that since WM-X's a still a rarity, you're being glomped by Belka-enhanced girls.

[Anita]

HAZUKASHI SERIFU KINSHI!

How dare you treat my Palatines as toys!

[Kha]

Heeeeeeh?!

(So you started watching ARIA too? How did you get it?)

[Jimmy C]

Originally Posted by Kha

Really? Za powaa of 2 moons you know.
But yeah chances are she'd burn herself alive from using all that mana at once.

And a First Class Goddess like Belldandy wouldn't even have worked up a sweat doing that.
And that's just power. The minimum qualifications for a First Class Goddess license involve demonstrating skill and control beyond what the Aces are capable of.

[Anita]

Ask lor. Got another anime-siao person here as well.

And sorry everyone, Sophia got delayed again, and ended up Kha is doing most of the work.

[Kha]

Originally Posted by Jimmy C

And a First Class Goddess like Belldandy wouldn't even have worked up a sweat doing that.
And that's just power. The minimum qualifications for a First Class Goddess license involve demonstrating skill and control beyond what the Aces are capable of.

I see... So there are portable beings scarier than Lina Inverse.

Originally Posted by Anita

Ask lor. Got another anime-siao person here as well.

And sorry everyone, Sophia got delayed again, and ended up Kha is doing most of the work.

Ah souka.

Yeah. >_> Like all of Sophia's illustrious history as you dictated. <_< And the meat of her spell list being from my head. >_> Shall I talk about her equipment descriptions as well? <_<

[Anita]

Originally Posted by Kha

Ah souka.

Yeah. >_> Like all of Sophia's illustrious history as you dictated. <_< And the meat of her spell list being from my head. >_> Shall I talk about her equipment descriptions as well? <_<

No need to bother, everyone knows you're MY servant after all ne?

[Kha]

Originally Posted by Anita

No need to bother, everyone knows you're MY Servant after all ne?

.........................................

*chills in the corner*

Sou ne... I'm a Servant ne... I'm Archer after all ya... I guess this is my fate ka...

[XenahortCharybdis]

Originally Posted by Aaron008R

So much to quote, so little time...

Anyway, I'll check out Xena's OC's first!



I like her style. This is definitely one of the most unique ones I've seen so far in the OC thread.

BTW, here's some comments.

She needs a higher rank! I suggest giving her a AA or AA+ for her sheer danger-level and proficiency. But if you want to go the Striker route like with Teana, Subaru, etc... who are pretty much AA skill-wise but still ranked B officially...

Death's Armory - Pandemic Wave and Death's Armory - Corruption Wave would be nicer if they were a bit slower… No. Scrap that. it would be nice if her spells that falls below 3 seconds were a little slower...

Black Immolation:
5 seconds? S-rank? Too fast…[

Anyway, a little tweaks here and there would do the trick!

Firstly, thanks for your time! *waves*

Spoiler for Return comments on Cecile:

I saw it coming...my experience with timing is not entirely good enough. Higher rank you say? *changes*

Ashcroft's gonna feel real bad now. One rank was bad enough, now he's 2 ranks below his former pupil? Poor boy.

Ashcroft: *sighs* "The student will surely surpass the master someday..."

{COLOSSUS: You lie, Ash, you-}

Ashcroft: SHUSH!!!!! *deactivates device*

No offense, but I coughed at the "Subaru and Teana are AA ranked skill wise" thing. Maybe that's because my standards for combat skill are a bit nuts.

Ashcroft: You didn't even give me an A+, you stingy little brat.

Originally Posted by Aaron008R

Er... I'm rebuilding Aurion's profile as we speak so as to remove almost 3/4ths of his original HAXXness...

And Aurion acting pissed off = DOES NOT COMPUTE. Sorry.

Aurion when angered only goes into silent+deathly efficient attacker mode. You'll never see him shout angrily or rave at anyone no matter how angry he is. I hope you don't mind...

And yes, you are free to use him as long as he stays in-character and is accurate performance-wise to my incoming updated profile of him. And yes, Aurion can have bad blood with the old guy. Just as long as he acts in-character, as always. Don;t worry, the profile is slated to come out anytime this week or the next...

BTW, here's Aurion's updated ability and spell data.

PM...? :3

Spoiler for Return Comments for Olivier:

Nah, I apologize for not checking him out carefully first. But I like Aurion's real angry mode. Sounds cool. Anyways he'll need to keep his head as much as possible, as Olivier could kill him more easily if he were just to berserk or something.

Hmmm, PM? To discuss the details, I see? Alright, fair enough (The PM shall contain initial details on Bad Blood and my "little" list of spells for Olly)

Originally Posted by Aaron008R

M-motherboard?! And I smell potential HAXXness. MOAR details please. :3

And BTW, her drawing? WANT to see!

How can a device be globules? Anyway. She seems fine. As always, more details. :3

Oh. And WANT to see her drawing too.

Spoiler for Return Comments for the Pair:

Yes, Motherboard. I was taking my com apart the other day, and got a brainwave from there...

Globules? Yes, they can be globules. I just haven't shown the main power supply yet! Don't worry...

On the potential H4xx-ness, I can only say: Wait. Although if you would study the sketch carefully when it arrives tomorrow, you will sort of see where the H4XX will come from. *COUGH*OPERATION NIGHT SKY*COUGH*

Details is like...in-fic details? Or out-fic?

Originally Posted by Aaron008R

Imagine if he USED a scope...
Not much of a problem. I'm not an expert in ranging, after all...

Spoiler for Reply Comments for Medorach:

Medorach: Adlertag, Leopold Scope, Load.

{Yes, Sin. Range extended to 200% of original output.}

Medorach: Excellen. Blutige Unruhe (Bloody Riot), Entlassung! (Release!)

{3...2...1...}

Medorach: Erwecken, Angst...Verschwinden! (Awaken, fear...Vanish!)

*copious amount of blood flows down his scope-eye...*

*explosion*

Medorach: This is Sinner Scope. The Demon is down. I repeat, this is Sinner Scope, the Demon is down.

Originally Posted by Aaron008R

I have a device called Tyrfing to be given to Grandis after GenerationS.:3 But I guess having similar names is fine. Sophia's device's name is Dauer, which is also Aurion's surname.

This guy sounds unstoppable... How would he fare against someone like say... Signum?

Tyrfing: Still in one piece, I assure you...barely, of course.

I smell something. Do you?

Originally Posted by Chaos2Frozen

It's tough being the woman

It all depends on how you look at it...It all depends.

(I'll end our duel here. I have no interest in scoring points against anyone, and each of us is entitled to his/her own opinion. More importantly, I see we could continue like this forever, and I think I'll just decide to cut it short here. *sheathes toledo*)

Originally Posted by Kagerou

Well, Italian is based off of Latin, so it's easy to confuse the two.



Ah. Well, I'd say no then .

In other news, here's the pre-scene to Episode 03. Once again, I have to ask if my translation is right .

Spoiler for MSLN Alpha 03, Scene 0:

Nanoha walked alone.

Following an endless road surrounded by tall grass, the young woman walked slowly, a solemn countenance she wore. Her eyes, narrowed and unfocusing, stared off into the endless horizon, counting down the hours and days until she became a part of the sky she used to love so much. A sky that now had no use for her, discarding her like so much garbage... or maybe it was her that discarded the sky. These days, it was so hard to tell one from the other.

A rustle to her side forced her attention to focus into the grass. Her heart seized with fear as she heard scurrying, followed by a hiss. Instinctively, her right hand grasped for a staff that wasn't there, and she tried to focus mana that seemed to have gone into the wild blue, never to return. Her Device rested uselessly against her neck as Nanoha's eyes widened, staring at the rustle of grass; staring at the slimy green tentacles that whipped out, catching her arms and legs, trying to drag her into the grass!

Nanoha screamed as she was brought to the ground, clawing desperately at the concrete to save her life. Her fingernails bled from the exertion as the tentacles' superior strength dragged her into the grass, pulling her at a lightning-fast speed that blinded her senses. Only her voice carried, an endless scream into the uncaring sky as the tentacles pulled her faster, faster, faster... then to a dead stop, in the middle of an open field.

Behind her, a voice... a voice crying for help... or maybe it was an offer of help. Nanoha stopped struggling as the tentacles lifted her up, up into the air, turning her around forcefully. Nanoha forced her eyes to shut, but she couldn't help the black urge to open them; and so, when she opened her eyes, she stared with a rapidly beating heart and deep fear at the creature that had brought her here.

Nanoha stared at the infected form of Vivio, crucified to a wooden cross, screaming in a mix of pain and pleasure.

"Mama!" The girl shouted. "Help me! Please! I'll be a good girl, I promise! Help me!"
"I..." Nanoha stared, forms forming but not escaping. "Vivio, I..."
"Mama! Help!" Vivio cried, tears of blood streaming down her face. Beneath her, the ground rumbled. "Mama! It's coming back! Get it before it kills us!"

And it rose from the ground, a great gaping red maw on a vine, with rows upon rows of teeth and a single glaring eye on top of a stalk. The creature lifted up, higher, above Nanoha, staring at her with its red eye, hissing. Nanoha stared back, unable to move and too afraid to do anything else as she stared at... at it.

"Become one with us." It said in its harsh voice. "Or become my food!"

Nanoha screamed in mortal terror as the monster's mouth came for her, its maw open wide, its teeth touching her skin and closing around her waist. A horrible pain, one that did not go away, one that persisted.

Nanoha screamed. And screamed. And screamed.

And screamed when she woke up.

Sitting up in bed, shaking, Nanoha looked around wildly, seeing that she was in her room, alone. Quickly, she got up and ran for her bathroom, barely making it to the toilet as she vomited, throwing up whatever she had eaten just hours ago. Groaning in disgust, Nanoha stood up and looked at herself in the bathroom mirror. A dull pain winced at her from all sides... kind of like a bruise, or line of bruises.

Nanoha froze.

Slowly, Nanoha grabbed the bottom of her nightshirt and lifted it up part way, her eyes widening in fear... then terror.

Neatly arranged in a ring, were dark red blemishes on her skin, around her waist in a neat row, in the same pattern that the monster's teeth were in her nightmare. Nanoha shook, clutching the sides of the sink in shock and disbelief.

"I will always be here, with you," The voice said to her. "I will accept you... or I will consume you."

Nanoha's eyes dilated in terror.

Maho Shoujo
- Lyrical Nanoha
----- Alpha -----

Episode 03: Chosa Seikatsuhi Tsumi (Investigation of Sin)

COUGH. Sounds tough as hell.

*coughs up blood* Not feeling too well myself.

Damn you, God and Marx, why'd you all die on me?!

Originally Posted by Fuyu no Sora

Waldron....

Will take a little getting used to, but yes, I think it does fit for a Axe weapon

Sounds downright COOL to me. Waldron. Waldron. Yeah, it's definitely cool.

Originally Posted by Chaos2Frozen

What the- ?!

*goes to check FF thread*

GODDAMNIT !

I spent just 5 hours playing DOTA in school and now I missed the chance to slam Haru !!

THIS IS JUST NOT FAIR !!!

~,~,~,~,~,~,~,~,~,~,~,~,~,~,~,~,~,~,~,~,~,~

*Several pills later...*

One piece of advice though, next time, do your best to keep it short and summarized.

Haru's attention and comprehension span isn't his strong points.


*Grumble grumble...*

Artix: Really, Haru-kun?

{He was not talking about me, dammit. I have faithfully assimilated approximately *TMI SNIP* Linker Cores since my creation, and can fully process *TMI SNIP* of them at any given time, so I am so not low on my skills at seeing and thinking!}

Artix: You don't have eyes.

{GAH...don't burst my bubble. }

Artix: Sorry, did I offend you?

{You pretty much did, sista.}

*hahaha OC SCHIZOPHRENIA!*

-------------------------------------------------

- Sketches coming along nicely. One more left. Scanning Tomoloh!

"How shall I draw a blood-crazed madman, a verily truly really madman, a pyromanic genius madman, Earlye in the evening?"

- Spell Reactor: 40% Reacted. 60% Left, needs more Crackium Nitrate and Bluecheese Acid. Oh yeah, and AntiH4xx Reagent.

- Fic Forge: Merge, Extend, and Fill. Liingo, I blame/thank/congratulate you for releasing me!!!!

-------------------------------------------------

And Anita...sounds like a person from the continental side of the Malay Archipelago. Like me, save that I'm not much suited to this sort of English. Maybe I'm just bad at saying it.

EDIT:

@Liingo on Medorach's Range VS Nanoha's Range: How on earth did they calculate the RANGE of that shot?! But I'll take note of it. All the same, it's all focus and piercing speed, less power, and MUCH less collateral damage. Nanoha is a medium-distance combatant, that much is plain. Medorach is a extreme range specialist (which means he won't have any bombardment class spells. Oh well, sacrifices must be made.)

@Liingo on the Twins: Don't they (Lost Logia) ALL need a lot of hammering from who-knows how many mages and then a blast from the Arc-en-ciel to kill them...Doesn't the TSAB have anything ELSE to fire with? OK, like T.M.I. (Too Much Information) again... *stops short*

@Thread about the Saint's Cradle: It never got to fire, so "ZA POWER OF 2 MOONS" will never be known. Speculation is a bit, you know

[Fuyu no Sora]

Originally Posted by Anita

HAZUKASHI SERIFU KINSHI!

How dare you treat my Palatines as toys!

Originally Posted by Kha

Heeeeeeh?!

(So you started watching ARIA too? How did you get it?)

Originally Posted by Anita

Ask lor. Got another anime-siao person here as well.

And sorry everyone, Sophia got delayed again, and ended up Kha is doing most of the work.

Originally Posted by Kha

I see... So there are portable beings scarier than Lina Inverse.

Ah souka.

Yeah. >_> Like all of Sophia's illustrious history as you dictated. <_< And the meat of her spell list being from my head. >_> Shall I talk about her equipment descriptions as well? <_<

Originally Posted by Anita

No need to bother, everyone knows you're MY servant after all ne?

Originally Posted by Kha

.........................................

*chills in the corner*

Sou ne... I'm a Servant ne... I'm Archer after all ya... I guess this is my fate ka...

*squeals in glee* I've been waiting for this!

Welcome back, Anita Ojou-sama!!!! (Sorry, just had to say it )

Oh I'm ADORING this

But if Kha (Archer) is Anita-san's servant that would mean.....



Anita-san is RIN?!?!?!

Tackling backlog later, just had to reply to this

EDIT:

Responding to Kha's amazement at a Goddess First Class' power:

....I wish you could just see what Hild is capable of.....THAT is scary -_- Goddesses have enormous limitations placed on them because of Heavenly regulations and such. The Demons don't. Hild, the Daimakaicho, is a fearsome devil that gives the three sisters a lot of trouble -_-