2008-03-07, 08:16 | Link #762 |
Name means little...
Graphic Designer
Join Date: Dec 2004
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I wonder who here knows Legend of Galactic Heroes...
made an error with the arm band. will adjust this. Spoiler for A little fanfic to go with this picture...:
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Last edited by panzerfan; 2008-03-07 at 12:16. |
2008-03-07, 08:21 | Link #763 | |
FullMoePanic!!!
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2008-03-07, 08:23 | Link #764 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Land Down Under
Age: 32
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Yeah, if the Computer Club used their own money to buy their computers, what's wrong with the female CC using their own money to finance their doujins?
I'd say skip the doujin step entirely but it creates a pretty funny gag. |
2008-03-07, 08:32 | Link #765 | ||
Adeptus Animus
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Age: 36
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Though in my opinion the whole bribe thing sort of drained the strength from the scene. |
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2008-03-07, 08:35 | Link #766 | |
illusion control
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The problem in question is: How is Kyonko going to get home after visiting Yuuki? Above all, remember that Kyonko is now a girl, and remember all the warnings given about women out alone at night. Right now I'm having Itsuko pick her up in a mysterious taxi, and then they'll have the slightly-altered conversation that Kyon and Itsuki have after Mikuru had told Kyon about her time-travelling. So basically, instead of the order of revelations being Yuki, Mikuru, then Itsuki, now it's Yuuki, Itsuko, then Mitsuru. The other option I could think of was for Yuuki to escort Kyonko back home, which would imply that he knows about gentlemanly behaviour to do this at least, as well as any attempts at conversation Kyonko might make during the walk back (which would take twenty minutes while cycling). If anyone else has any insights, feel free to share them. Now I'm going to collapse into bed. (Also, whatever happens, Kyonko's mother is probably going to scold her for recklessly going out at night. Go into as much detail as you want with that.) |
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2008-03-07, 08:36 | Link #767 | |
Residential Nutcase
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Outer Cadia
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Spoiler for 1st part:
This line no matter how I look at it seems unnatural. The younger brother calling Kyon-chan like this feels off. I suggest you either remove the words "Kyon-chan" to form "Where are you going?" or Move Kyon to the front but remove the suffix like "Kyon, where are you going?". Personally I prefer the former but its up to you. Spoiler for 2nd part:
Spoiler for suggestion:
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2008-03-07, 08:43 | Link #768 | ||
illusion control
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It'll take a while to insert the fixes and make it flow, or at least it will take more brainpower than I currently have, so I'll leave it to tomorrow, but consider the point well made. |
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2008-03-07, 09:10 | Link #770 | ||
Residential Nutcase
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Outer Cadia
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2008-03-07, 09:25 | Link #771 |
Kyonko Convert
Join Date: Sep 2007
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Oops. I meant to quote the female computer club scene not the Integrated Identity snippet.
On that note. I think the Nagato scene was good myself. very believable in my opinion. Edit: Previous post fixed to reflect what what I meant. Last edited by toran; 2008-03-07 at 09:59. |
2008-03-07, 10:27 | Link #772 | |
I don't give a damn, dude
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: In Despair
Age: 37
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Problem solved. Yuuki will follow her orders. |
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2008-03-07, 10:35 | Link #773 | |
One PUNCH!
Administrator
Join Date: Dec 2005
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On the scolding bit, we don't have to be there for it, but Kyonko could be feeling down the next morning in school... and of course Haruki will pick up on that and... what could happen? |
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2008-03-07, 11:28 | Link #774 |
SIDE
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If we assume that Kyon-chan was only at Yuuki's for about an hour or so-- judging from the length of the infodump-- that means it's still probably before half past eight at night. They seem to live in a fairly suburban area from what I've seen, so I honestly don't think Kyon-chan would be too concerned about being out alone at that time. She might take the long, better-lit route home, but especially if she's on a bike-- it's faster than walking, less chance of getting randomly grabbed from a dark alley-- I don't think there's really any huge reason for her to worry.
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2008-03-07, 11:32 | Link #775 | |
性転換 団長
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I'm in support of Yuuki escorting Kyon-chan home, followed up by a snide remark by her little brother about coming home with a guy, followed up by a flustered Kyon-chan.
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genderbender, seitenkan |
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