The Genderbending of Haruhi Suzumiya [Spoilers Aplenty]

[Ithekro]

Did we ever get to the Bamboo Leaf story? How will that one work genderbent. We got relatively tiny Kyonko and Mitsuuru meeting a younger (and likley pre-growth spurt) Haruki. If one follows the story, Mitsuuru is asleep and must be carried by Kyon-chan until they get to the school Haruki has decided to "vandalize"...then Kyon-chan gets ordered around to make a pattern for her future club chief....and give out a "fake" name. I think we decided on something before. The typical Jane Smith as oppose to John Smith....though it might behoof us to look to see what the most common English woman's name is...probably Mary, and go from there. Smith is by far the most common English surname, so that should stay the same.

But what about the situations of having the younger Haruki bossing around Kyon-chan? (and the whole looking for the perfect woman thing that will come up again later...Kyonko's little Ace against the Aliens should they ever try to do something to Yuuki.)

[ijuinkun]

I would think that Kyonko would have to drag Mitsuru instead of carry him.

[yggdrasil325]

Originally Posted by ijuinkun

I would think that Kyonko would have to drag Mitsuru instead of carry him.

Seems like a good idea.

[Mimir]

Mitsuuru would be really light then.

[CPOK]

Originally Posted by ijuinkun

I would think that Haruhi vs. Haruhi (or Haruki) would boil down to a sheer battle of wills--not only who has the greater desire, but who has the greater determination/stubbornness as well.

Or until one of them found a gun and shot the other. (anything is possible with Haruhi after all.)

[C.A.]

Originally Posted by CPOK

Or until one of them found a gun and shot the other. (anything is possible with Haruhi after all.)

You think a gun is remotely enough to kill either of them?

They could probably easily dodge bullets or even catch bullets with their teeth.

Even if one of them aim perfectly, the bullet itself would refuse to be embedded into their flesh and bounce off their bodies. Even if they're wounded, it may heal instantaneously.

[Roger Rambo]

Originally Posted by CPOK

Or until one of them found a gun and shot the other. (anything is possible with Haruhi after all.)

I don't think they're that pissed at eachother.

[dkellis]

Originally Posted by Ithekro

Did we ever get to the Bamboo Leaf story? How will that one work genderbent. We got relatively tiny Kyonko and Mitsuuru meeting a younger (and likley pre-growth spurt) Haruki. If one follows the story, Mitsuuru is asleep and must be carried by Kyon-chan until they get to the school Haruki has decided to "vandalize"...then Kyon-chan gets ordered around to make a pattern for her future club chief....and give out a "fake" name. I think we decided on something before. The typical Jane Smith as oppose to John Smith....though it might behoof us to look to see what the most common English woman's name is...probably Mary, and go from there. Smith is by far the most common English surname, so that should stay the same.

But what about the situations of having the younger Haruki bossing around Kyon-chan? (and the whole looking for the perfect woman thing that will come up again later...Kyonko's little Ace against the Aliens should they ever try to do something to Yuuki.)

There have been a couple of tries at Bamboo Leaf Rhapsody. Shaoron managed to finish his (here and here), using "Jane Smith". Little has been changed from the original except for replacing pronouns and such.

I got through about half of BLR myself. The first third is here. I've asked about the problems arising due to the genderswap several times, most of which never actually reached a conclusion or consensus.

Tangentially, I actually had a great idea about the "John Smith" thing, but I completely forgot about it. I only remember the problems with the idea, which were that the name doesn't have anything to do with "John Smith", and is a lot more contemporary than the original Pocahontas-related John Smith. But I also remember that it fit Kyonko quite well, and would come naturally to her, although whether Haruki would recognize it is another matter.

So it goes.

Incidentally, if you want to read the bit of BLR after the part I posted, the draft is here:

Spoiler:

"That's it for today," Haruki said, quickly packing his bag and leaving the room. He was acting strangely today, like a monstrous diesel engine truck which had inexplicably morphed into a small tame electric car. If this keeps up, maybe I could get a bit of peace and quiet.

"Then I shall excuse myself as well," Itsuko said, putting away her chessboard. "A good day to you all." She nodded politely to me and Asahina-sempai, and left.

Nagato-san closed his thick book with a loud thump. Oh, you're leaving as well? For once, a guy understands without needing to be told what to do. Thanks, Nagato-san... wait, he's walking towards me.

"Take this," he said, handing me a piece of paper. It was another tanzaku paper from before. I'm sorry, even if you ask me to send it up into space, I can't do it. Besides, you should be far more qualified than I am.

The tanzaku had strange geometric shapes drawn on it, without words or any sort of recognizable picture; my eyes started to water after staring at it for a while. What was this? Some sort of ancient Sumerian language? Or maybe it's a sort of code. If so, I don't think even the Enigma machine can break it.

By the time I finished studying the pattern on the tanzaku, Nagato-san had already left. I stuffed the paper into my skirt pocket and turned to face Asahina-sempai.

"I, um, I'm sorry," Asahina-sempai said, "but I was hoping that you could come with me to, uh, a place."

Realistically speaking, it's probably not an invitation to a date, especially so late in the day. Even so, I was curious. "Sure, where are we going?"

"It's, um... it's three years ago."

I asked for a location, and he answered with a time. But three years ago? Asahina-sempai claims to be a time-traveller from some unknown mysterious future, but I've never seen him personally travel through time. Well, not this version of Asahina-sempai, at least.

Wait, he's asking if I want to accompany him to three years ago. Doesn't that mean I'm going to be a time-traveller too?

"Y-yes."

"I'd be more than happy to go," I told him, "but why me? What are we supposed to do there... I mean then?"

"Um. You'll know when you get there... probably."

Probably?

Seeing the confused look on my face, Asahina-sempai flapped his hands desperately. "Please, don't ask anything, and just agree for now! Otherwise, I might be... I mean, it will be very troublesome."

He looked at me with those puppy-dog eyes I couldn't resist. "Well, all right. Let's go."

"Really? Thank you very much!" He grabbed my hands in joy, like a little kid who was told that he's going to Disneyland. Seeing him so happy, I decided that this planned excursion to three years ago probably wouldn't be that bad. After all, if Asahina-sempai asked me to do it, it probably wasn't dangerous, right?

In addition, this would be a great chance for me to personally verify Asahina-sempai's claims that he's a time-traveller. I had already met a grown-up version of him, but there was still a tiny amount of doubt in my mind, telling me that this was all some sort of conspiracy for the purpose of a practical joke played on me. Trying not to sound too eager, I said, "So, where's the time machine?"

I half expected that we had to walk into an English-style phone box, but Asahina-sempai said there was no such device. So how were we supposed to travel through in time? Asahina-sempai fingered the bowtie around his neck nervously, and said, "From here."

What? Here? The club room was empty other than the two of us. I couldn't see anything out of the ordinary that was different from all the times I've been in here.

"Yes, please sit down. And could you please close your eyes? Relax your shoulders, too."

I did as he told me to. I hope he's not trying to sneak a kiss from me.

"Kyon-chan..." Asahina murmured from very close behind my ear. I shivered involuntarily at the soft breath. "I'm sorry."

That did not inspire any confidence. I was about to open my eyes to demand an explanation for that apology, but I suddenly felt a tremendous sense of vertigo, as everything went dark around me. Just before I lost consciousness, I noted to myself that had I known what time travel would involve, I wouldn't have agreed to it in the first place.

-

When I awoke, the first thing I saw was Asahina-sempai's angelic face, smiling down at me. I could feel a pleasant soft cushion under my head, and quickly deduced that I was lying down, my head on Asahina-sempai's lap.

"Oh, you've awakened?"

Can I say that I haven't, and remain here for a while longer? Actually, wait: my head was on Asahina-sempai's lap. Basic anatomy would mean...

"If you don't get up," Asahina-sempai said, sounding a little strained, "then, um... I might be a bit... troubled..."

I quickly snapped upright to a sitting position. "I'm sorry about that!" Where was I? It looked to be late at night, and I didn't recognize the immediate surroundings. We were sitting on a bench at the side of the road, the sort for the elderly to rest at while walking. There was a school building visible in the near distance, and I could see the name from here: East Junior High.

"Oh, no, I should be the one apologizing." Asahina-sempai smiled in embarrassment. I don't know when he had taken the opportunity to get changed, but his costume had been replaced by his North High uniform. Considering the time change from dusk to late night, there was more than enough time for him to get changed, since I had fallen asleep. But why had I fallen asleep in the first place?

"Um, that's because I'm not allowed to let you know the methods of travelling through time," Asahina-sempai said. "It's classified information... are you angry?"

No, I'm not angry at all. If it were Haruki, I'd have beaten him senseless, but since it's Asahina-sempai, I didn't mind at all.

Speaking of which, I had been sitting in the club room with my eyes closed just a while ago; why was I outside on a roadside bench in the middle of the night now?

"When are we?" I asked.

"From our time of origin," Asahina-sempai replied, "it is now July 7th of three years ago. It's about nine at night, I guess?"

"Really?"

"Really." He looked serious. Even then, it was a cute expression on his face.

I never thought that I'd be able to arrive here that easily. There was still that microscopic possibility that this was all a prank, although I can't imagine Asahina-sempai being part of it. Still, I'd need to confirm what he said; I'll try calling the time and weather hotline.

As I was about to tell Asahina-sempai what I planned to do, my shoulder suddenly felt heavy. Huh? Asahina-sempai was leaning his head on my shoulder, looking utterly exhausted. "Asahina-sempai?"

No response.

"Um..."

A gentle snore.

I couldn't angle my head properly to watch Asahina-sempai's sleeping face, but it was clear that he had fallen asleep in the middle of the conversation. Did he have some form of undiagnosed narcolepsy? What's going on here?

The bushes behind me suddenly rustled. I could feel my heart pounding in my chest, as I realized the situation I was in: except for the sleeping Asahina-sempai, I was alone in the dark. Even if I wanted to run away, I couldn't leave Asahina-sempai here.

"Is he asleep?" Coming out of the bushes and into the lamplights was... Asahina-san. "Ah, good evening, Kyon-chan."

This was the deluxe version of Asahina-sempai. A handsome young man, older than the Asahina-sempai sleeping on my shoulder, this Asahina-san had grown into the sort of person girls would swoon over, with his charm increased tenfold. Like the last time I had met him, he was wearing a loose white shirt with black business pants. Maybe he had come here right after that meeting?

Asahina-san chuckled as he walked towards our front. "From this view, he looks just like a kid," he said, ruffling Asahina-sempai's hair. He lightly touched the summer uniform in various places, looking nostalgic. "Was this how I looked like when I was that age?"

Still feeling the soft breathing of Asahina-sempai on my arm, turning my mind into a blank, I couldn't come up with any answer.

"It was his mission to bring you here," Asahina-san said, smiling mysteriously, "but now it's my turn to guide you."

"Um... what is..."

"I can't explain in detail, since it's classified. All I can do now is show you where to go."

I glanced at the sleeping Asahina-sempai.

"I was the one who put him to sleep," Asahina-san said. "After all, I can't be seen by him."

"Why not?"

"Because when I was him, I didn't see myself."

A simple answer, but it was confusing all the same. Time travel would give anyone a headache.

Asahina pointed down the road. "The park in front of the station is that way, if you need to regain your bearings. But before that, please go to the junior high school just over there, and help the person standing outside the school fence, as soon as you can. And try to bring me along somehow; I shouldn't be too heavy."

He sounded like a villager in a role-playing game giving me a fetch quest. What sort of treasure would I get as a reward, I wonder?

"Reward?" Asahina-san winked at me. "I don't have anything to offer, but if you'd like, you can kiss and cuddle me while I'm sleeping. But only while I'm sleeping, mind."

An attractive offer, but when you say it like that, it sounds a bit perverted. "That's..."

"Time's running short. I have to go now." Asahina-san squatted down in front of me. "Oh, and please don't tell him that I was here." He held out a hand, pinky finger extended. "Pinky promise?"

I automatically hooked my pinky around his. It feels like we're little kids about to form a secret club.

"Goodbye then, Kyon-chan." And just like that, Asahina-san walked off into the darkness, out of sight in no time. I wonder when I'll meet him again, or if I've already met a later version of him. Although judging from the mood, it's possible that I'll be meeting many more Asahina-sans from all sorts of time periods.

There was no way I could understand all of that. But I couldn't follow through with that thought, because I spotted a familiar figure standing outside the school fence.

-

East Junior High. This was Taniguchi and Haruki's junior high school. I instantly recognized the small figure about to climb the metal fence.

"Oi!" After yelling that, I felt surprised. How did I know who this person was? The height was a lot shorter, and I was looking only at his back anyway. But there's only one person I know who would try to sneak into the school in the middle of the night.

"What?"

Looks like I've really travelled three years back in time. There was no mistaking the glittering, confident eyes of the commander of the SOS Brigade; those were Haruki's eyes. Even though he was dressed in a T-shirt and shorts, he still looked the same to me. Let's see, three years from my time, Haruki would be in the first year of junior high. Could he be the person Asahina-san wanted me to help?

"Who are you?" Haruki demanded. "A delinquent? A cat-burglar? In any case, you look suspicious."

Wait, who was the suspicious one? The poor lonely girl out alone, or the brat trying to climb the school fence in the middle of the night? "You're the one who looks suspicious," I retorted. "What are you trying to do?"

"I'm trying to illegally enter the premises, of course!"

I don't think anyone else in the world would declare their criminal intentions so openly to a complete stranger.

"You came just in time. I don't know you, but if you're free, then help me out. Otherwise I'll call the cops and say that you're a dangerous kidnapper."

My, so rude to someone you've just met. I had already promised Asahina-san, though. "On the condition that you help me carry this guy to a safer place."

"Okay, fine." He didn't sound very happy about it. "Is he your boyfriend?"

"What? No! At least, not really..."

"Whatever, I don't care."

Haruki clambered up the fence like a monkey, and slowly slid down the other side. He opened the locked gate in the fence with a key. Where'd you get those keys from?

"I stole them when nobody was looking. It was easy."

Haruki had started his life of crime early. He slid the fence gate open, and walked over to where Asahina-sempai was sleeping. "You hold one arm, and I'll hold the other," I instructed. Haruki was much shorter than his future self, three years later, so I had to bend down slightly to accommodate him. Asahina-sempai's feet dragged on the ground. I'm sorry, Asahina-sempai, but there's no way a fragile girl like me can carry you by myself.

[dkellis]

Also: looking through my unfinished Seitenkan stuff, I just realized how much of a tsundere I made Kyonko.

"It's not like I want to go to the SOS Brigade clubroom every day. I just have nothing better to do."

[Ithekro]

I somehow recall this being one of those "Bridge. Cross. Later" instances.

It is "Later" now.

[dkellis]

What if Kyonko called herself "Orihime"?

PRO:
- It's appropriate to Tanabata. If Kyonko said the first name which came to mind, chances are "Orihime" would be in the shortlist.
- It could explain Haruki's obsession with the paranormal. A girl who fascinates him appears and disappears, giving only the name of "Orihime". If he thinks himself to be Hikoboshi, he could be subconsciously waiting for her to return.
- There's probably some sort of symbolism there.


CON:
- Nothing to do with "John Smith".
- Pretentious.
- "Orihime" is a valid name in Japan, so Haruki would probably assume that it's Kyonko's real name, without thinking about all the symbolism.

[Cat Megex]

Originally Posted by CrowKenobi

I found this fanfiction story (and its sequel) whose idea it was that Kyon's parents weren't that ordinary in their youth... (and somewhat familiar!)

I wonder how Kyonko would take having parents like that!

...Heh. Those're funny.

Originally Posted by TheodoreIV

But with parallel dimensions with multiple godly Haru(h/k)i's comes the old question of "What happens when an unstoppable force meets an inmovable object?". If two Suzumiya's with reality-alternating abilities are both subconciously attempting to alter reality in a conflicting way, what would happen? Like say, Suzumiya A wants a flock of pigeons to turn blue at midnight and Suzumiya B wants the same pigeons to turn red at midnight, what'll happen to the pigeons? And before someone says it, no, I don't think the pigeons would turn purple.

...My opinion is that the pidgeons would explode.

[dkellis]

Once again I realized how much Seitenkan has influenced me, when I write a post and find it utterly weird to refer to Taniguchi with the male pronoun.

[DannyCat]

I'd like to see more stories about the Seitenkan universe characters meeting the canon universe characters exploring how, to them, it's a strange new concept to think of, for example, Kyon being male. Stuff like that, looking at it through their point of view.

[otai]

Happy New Year 2009 (atm, at least for the aussies).

I'd like to say that discussing fanfic ideas are a step up for us. I've read a fic where a Haruhi-prime realizes her powers and goes on a multiverse rampage ala Jet Li's The One. No seitenkan tho.

[Nanao-kun]

It will be 2009 in two hours over here at the U.S. east coast.

[vivify93]

Hmm. I wanted to bring in the New Year by listening to... Oh, who was it? Some girl who had made some faux drama CDs with a few of her pals. I can't seem to find them anymore. Darn shame, too; must've been swallowed by all the CRACK.

[TheodoreIV]

On the matter of Jane Smith versus Mary Smith: we should go with Mary Smith because, even though Jane Smith sounds more natural since it's similar to John Smith, Mary Smith serves the same purpose as John Smith and Jane Smith is too far away from being a common enough name that would imply that Kyonko is lying about her real name. If Kyonko said her name was Jane, it wouldn't be too hard to believe it was her real name since Jane isn't exactly overly common. Oh, and no Orihime. There's just too much wrong with that.

As for Kyonko carrying/dragging Mitsuru: Kyonko should half carry half drag Mitsuru by holding his arm around her shoulder with her other arm around his side and dragging him beside herself, as one would do to support someone with an injured foot/leg. I'm not sure if that was what was being implied by the suggestion to have her drag him, but when I read that the image that instantly came to mind was her dragging him on the ground by his arms behind her. Kinda like how you would carry a dead body, and that doesn't exactly sound like the kinda treatment Kyonko would give her beloved senpai, even if it was the easier method.

Is there anything else regarding Bamboo Leaf Rhapsody that needs reconfiguring for the genderbent rewrite?

On the note of fanfics: I too would like to see more interaction between the canon cast and seitenkan cast. I'd give it a shot if I didn't already know how lousy of a writer I am when it comes to stories.

[Sute443]

Originally Posted by vivify93

Hmm. I wanted to bring in the New Year by listening to... Oh, who was it? Some girl who had made some faux drama CDs with a few of her pals. I can't seem to find them anymore. Darn shame, too; must've been swallowed by all the CRACK.

Do you mean the genderbent dubs made by the folks over at Emerald Park Productions?

Oi, I thought we'd settled the fake name issue! Jane Smith because it is a more direct bending of John Smith. When we genderbend names, we go for whatever sounds close, not for getting the same meaning. We didn't try to find a male name that means snow, did we?

[TheodoreIV]

Originally Posted by Sute443

Do you mean the genderbent dubs made by the folks over at [URL="http://emeraldparkproductions.mypodcast.com/"]
Oi, I thought we'd settled the fake name issue! Jane Smith because it is a more direct bending of John Smith. When we genderbend names, we go for whatever sounds close, not for getting the same meaning. We didn't try to find a male name that means snow, did we?

Personal names and a culture's iconic most common name are different matters. Didn't we agree on freckled ginger instead of a calico for the female Shamisen because it serves the same purpose of being the most rare female cat? Equally, Mary Smith is the most common female name. If John Smith was an actual person, then yes, we'd go with Jane Smith. But he's not. It's just an icon of an obviously fake name that was clearly made up on the spot with no effort. Besides, it's not like Kyon's fake name was Janu Sumithu in the Japanese version, it was whatever the most common Japanese name was. Likewise, in Swedish, it would be replaced with the most common male Sweden name. So if they're going for meaning, not specifically the name John Smith, then we go for meaning, not specifically the genderbent equivalent of John Smith. So it should be Mary Smith.