The Genderbending of Haruhi Suzumiya [Spoilers Aplenty]

[shaoron]

@kaisos
so.. i heard you liek mudkip crotch grab?

*sorry.. jsut really really bored right now *

[DJ_RockmanX]

You really need to calm down bro.

[Kogetsu Shirogane]

... save the "RAGING LESBIAN ITSUKO" stuff for the parts in later stories where Itsuki would make Kyon feel uncomfortable by getting "too close" and kill two birds with one stone...

*e* and it's "herd"

[Tyabann]

Originally Posted by Kogetsu Shirogane

... save the "RAGING LESBIAN ITSUKO" stuff for the parts in later stories where Itsuki would make Kyon feel uncomfortable by getting "too close" and kill two birds with one stone...

That's what I was going to do anyway.

There's a part in Charmed at First Sight Lover where Koizumi offers to hug Kyon from behind for warmth... here, Itsuko can actually do it.

[shaoron]

Originally Posted by Kaisos Erranon

That's what I was going to do anyway.

There's a part in Charmed at First Sight Lover where Koizumi offers to hug Kyon from behind for warmth... here, Itsuko can actually do it.

and not even bother saying it! GOOD JOB!

[Tyabann]

Originally Posted by shaoron

and not even bother saying it! GOOD JOB!

Oh, shut it.

I'm trying to remain relatively faithful to the original story, and there are very few FLAMING HOMO moments from Koizumi in Vol. 1.

[Kogetsu Shirogane]

... main problem being that Itsuki only brought it up because Haruhi had done the same with Mikuru and started teasing Kyon about it. Of course... Itsuko could just do it for the hell of it. Only problem is making it seem more "SECRET LEZBO ACTION" than "OMG TEH KYUUUUUTE."

[Tyabann]

Originally Posted by Kogetsu Shirogane

... main problem being that Itsuki only brought it up because Haruhi had done the same with Mikuru and started teasing Kyon about it. Of course... Itsuko could just do it for the hell of it. Only problem is making it seem more "SECRET LEZBO ACTION" than "OMG TEH KYUUUUUTE."

Why bother? "OMG TEH KYUUUUUTE" is awesome too.

[Discreet]

Originally Posted by Kaisos Erranon

Anyway, more rewrites:

*snip*

This one needs serious work. I can't write shit for Itsuko...

Jintor, Dkellis, when you read this, I'd like you to edit this.

Does that mean I shouldn't bother to do anything yet (or at all)?

[DJ_RockmanX]

I think he just misses them. They've haven't shown up in a while after all...

[Kogetsu Shirogane]

Originally Posted by Kaisos Erranon

Why bother? "OMG TEH KYUUUUUTE" is awesome too.

True enough. I really can't argue with that.

[Tyabann]

Originally Posted by Discreet

Does that mean I shouldn't bother to do anything yet (or at all)?

Sure, you can help. That'd be great, actually.

[Jintor]

I will... do what I can.

[DJ_RockmanX]

Well that's always good to know.

[Jintor]

But not tonight. Need to finish a comic for my tournament.

[Aebliss]

Hmmm, you go away for a week and there's so much topic necromancy - err, 'replying', to do ...

Originally Posted by DJ_RockmanX

Unless someone could write a convincing instance of Haruki using some crazy ass reverse psychology on Kyon-chan, possibly involving the other members of the SOS-dan as well. Call me up when that happens.

Heh ... a challenge. Let me think about this.

Originally Posted by shaoron

dkellis isn't updating the archive... <_<

Perhaps someone should do it during dkellis's absence? Just copy the currently available archive and add the things that have been written since dkellis had to go? Are there any volunteers for this monumental undertaking? And more to the point, any candidates to pinpoint the moment dkellis stopped archiving, making the registering of new material easier?

Originally Posted by shaoron

@Aebliss
you made Mitsuru carry both Yuuki and Itsuko!? lol
thou you made it so that Yuuki is being carried by Mitsuru but failed to edit that only itsuko's weight is being carried by mitsuru.

Hmm, I see ... Oh, well. ^^ Work for a future editjob, then.

Originally Posted by shaoron

oooh! nice addition to kyonko's "dream" of the past iterations. good job! *re: Koizumi cuddling up to Kyonko* even gooder job!

Spoiler for to aebliss:

^^ I have been praised by 'Densetsu no shoujo A'? Wow. I never thought the day would come! As always, it's nice to be appreciated.

Originally Posted by Discreet

*snip*I know the "good idea" was sarcasm and I don't think my edit changes that.

Perverted old people is all fine and dandy, but when they start talking about how long they think a guy can go on for or how good he is at it... it's a weeeee bit excessive, it goes past comedy and into the yuck factor.

*sigh* Apparently I was a bit too unspecific. My addition of 'he can probably work up a good sweat both day and night, if you know what I mean' was meant to reflect that Haruki would probably be a good worker, i.e. provider, for Kyonko as well as able to 'keep her happy' in the evenings. I wonder why you removed the bit about inviting Ryou and Haruki in for tea. That bit was a nice bit of comedy, if I do say so myself, especially as it served to briefly discomfort Haruki.

Moving on: I made a few small edits in selected bits of Kaisos Erranon's Itsuko infodump:

Originally Posted by Kaisos Erranon

Spoiler:

"Right, I think now would be an excellent time for me to join them."

Itsuko's body started to glow blue, and a blast of force erupted from her which drove me a few steps back and caused her clothes to flutter. As she started to glow blue, Itsuko briefly turned to look at me and ... winked? "Please, no peeping," she said playfully. Who would look at your skirt at a time like this?!Soon, her glowing body was covered in a blue glowing sphere. Standing before me was no longer a human girl, but a large glowing ball.

This is getting ridiculous. I may need a thesaurus again at this rate.

As if making a signal, the glowing sphere started to rise and then flew straight towards the giant at an incredible speed.

Since the blue spheres never stopped flying, I couldn't figure out how many there were in total, but I don’t think there could have been more than ten, including Itsuko. They bravely flew towards the giant's body, but all they could do was fly through it. The giant was barely, if even, hurt. But just as I was thinking that, one of the blue spheres suddenly approached the giant's wrist and circled it.

The next moment, the giant's hand was sliced off. The masterless hand fell towards the ground and gave out a mosaic glow, started to become transparent, and then disintegrated like snow melting under the sun. I guess the red smoke coming out of the giant's severed wrist must have been its blood. This really is the stuff of fiction.
The blue dots seemed to have changed their attacking style of charging towards the giant. They approached the giant like a bunch of fleas surrounding a dog. The blue beams sliced through the giant's face, and its head came falling down; after that, its shoulder fell as well, followed by its upper torso, leaving behind a strange shape. The falling bits began to give out the characteristic mosaic glow, then disintegrated and vanished.

As the giant was standing in a large piece of land without any obstacles around, I was able to see the whole process from beginning to end. When the giant's upper torso fell off, its remaining body also began to disintegrate, finally dissolving into beads smaller than dust and spreading over the debris.

Once the blue dots floating above made sure their work was done, they started flying off in all directions. Most of them disappeared at once; only one flew towards me, finally landing at the rooftop of the apartment complex. The blue sphere slowly lost its glow, and finally Itsuko stood before me, flipping her hair pretentiously with her usual plastic smile.

"Sorry to keep you waiting." She sounded very calm, and not exhausted at all.
------

"Well then," Itsuko said. "Shall we go back?"
Is it really okay to be this calm right now? Weren't you just in life-or-death battle?
"Of course I was," she replied, her face briefly going ... strange. "But you must understand, I have been in these fights before."
What's with that unreadable expression?
"I find," Itsuko said as she guided me back down the stairs, "that though these battles need to be taken very seriously, they should not be dwelled on. When the fight is won, one should take a moment to enjoy the normal joys of life. Like these."
Of course, we were near the shop that had the yellow dress ... Itsuko made me try it on and despite my protests, it did look good, and I ended up buying it. It did bother me a little how she seemed entirely too pleased at seeing me wearing it, though.

This one needs serious work. I can't write shit for Itsuko...

Originally Posted by DJ_RockmanX

I think he just misses them. They've haven't shown up in a while after all...

Heh ... I wonder what kind of dire punishments Haruhi/Haruki would unleash upon them for slacking ...?

[CrowKenobi]

Aebliss, good job on working in the 'looking up the skirt line' into the text, though you didn't put in 'up' in Kyonko's dialogue:

Itsuko's body started to glow blue, and a blast of force erupted from her which drove me a few steps back and caused her clothes to flutter. As she started to glow blue, Itsuko briefly turned to look at me and ... winked?

"Please, no peeping," she said playfully.

Who would look at up your skirt at a time like this?!

Soon, her glowing body was covered in a blue glowing sphere. Standing before me was no longer a human girl, but a large glowing ball.

[Tyabann]

Originally Posted by Aebliss

*snip*

YOU. ARE. AWESOME.

Thank you for figuring out ways to work everything in.

Now it would be great if you could help with the very last line... somehow, it looks stupid to me...

[Aebliss]

Originally Posted by Kaisos Erranon

Spoiler for Chapter 6, Final: Closed Space:

The car stopped in front of my house, and as I got out, Itsuko spoke again.

"Please pay attention to Suzumiya-san's actions. His supposedly stable mental state has now begun to show signs of rapid deterioration. It's been quite a while since something like this has happened."

Look, even if I was to pay more attention to him, what difference can I possibly make?

"To be perfectly honest, I don't know either. But I think you are the right person into whose hands to entrust this matter. Some of my colleagues tend to overthink matters ... or not think enough."

Before I could reply, Itsuko drew her head back inside the open car and closed the door.

I stood there for a moment, watching what I was now sure was Itsuko's - or rather her Organisation's - private taxi disappear into the distance. It almost seemed to vanish into the horizon like a phantom. Then I realised what an idiotic thing that was for me to think and I went inside. My little brother was waiting at the door, looking disappointed. What? Did you think you were going to score even more free candy by blackmailing your big sister? What kind of a heartless individual is our mother raising here?

"Shut up!" he pouted. "Anyway, you have no right to call me heartless, I do lots of nice things around the house. I wake you up every morning, so you don't arrive late at school."

Having said so, the miniature wrestling fanatic who practises his combat moves on me in the mornings to wake me up ran off into the living room. I need a shower ...

As requested, a little rewrite of the end of the Itsuko infodump, with a bit of original material thrown in for fun. Is this kind of what you had in mind? ^^

[Tyabann]

Originally Posted by Aebliss

As requested, a little rewrite of the end of the Itsuko infodump, with a bit of original material thrown in for fun. Is this kind of what you had in mind? ^^

Again, they don't have a mother. But thanks.

Edit: Ladies and Gentlemen, Genderbending has now extended to even include Jason Miao:


(click the image)