Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha Character Creation and Discussion (second reincarnation)

[dkellis]

I was told in IRC to slap up the very rough notes for a battle scene I'm having some trouble with. Minor spoilers for the next chapter of Lyrical Melancholy, not that it matters.

Spoiler for Cut for neatness.:

The setting is a warehouse for a manufacturing plant. It is the only warehouse open in the complex, due to this being a special visit. The warehouse contains reinforced crates (effectively indestructible) of a Macguffin Material, which has several applications, the most relevant of which is for building combat-capable drones. At the moment, the Macguffin is "orihalcum", but I'm open to changes, since it's really not that important.

The Macguffin is valuable and efficient: one crate of it would be considered a tremendous loss, and enough to build a great many drones.

Good guys:
- Rancer LaSalle, 37th CIAA, ranked AA, Midchilda, barrier specialist. Commander of the mages. Places safety of non-combatants over everything else.

- Reiz Astra, 37th CIAA, ranked A+, Belka, staff fighter, strong fire elemental affinity. Inexperienced, lacks self-confidence, but still very skilled when pressed.

- Laura Veiron, Intelligence attached to 37th CIAA, ranked A, Belka, heavy sabre fighter. Aggressive and driven.

Objective: Protect the civilians, protect the Macguffin, defeat the drones, and find their source, in that order, as ordered by Rancer.

Bad guys:
- Battle drones of the same model, numbering between twenty to thirty, although the number can change as needed, as long as it's "a lot". Quadrupedal, squat, armed with drills, claws, blades, and one powerful laser mounted on top. Heavily armoured, not very fast, but very durable.

Objective: Retrieve at least one crate of the Macguffin and escape, making as much noise and destruction in the process.

Others:
- Hans Jonsson, non-powered civilian warehouse manager. Kind of strong, good runner.

- Miscellaneous warehouse workers, numbering perhaps eighteen. Liable to panic or try to be heroes.

Objective: Run around like headless chickens.

The good guys will not be expecting the drones, which will ambush them from a tunnel dug some distance away. The end result of the fight will be all the civilians safe, Rancer having to order Laura to break off pursuit (presumably to help save civilians), and Reiz distinguishing herself. The drones will make off with at least one crate of the MacGuffin, but they will lose several of their number in the process. Rancer and co will find a clue in one of the demolished drones. The warehouse will suffer a lot of damage, despite the good guys' best efforts.

Essentially, I need some tips on writing out a mass battle like this, and having it be interesting enough to engage the reader's attention. Right now it reads like a very boring account of a bad simulation.

[Keroko]

Originally Posted by Tk3997

Many but most of them are probably guys with little real power to help them fact is the people MOST likely to dislike them are also the guys with the power to screw them...

And how many did we see? Even the three admirals have no qualms against Rf6, in fact Admiral Mizetto rather likes Hayate.

Originally Posted by Tk3997

Not what I meant it's not a technical thing it's a "We've always done it this way and by god I'm going to keep doing it this way!" deal.

Its more that I loathe chat programs with a fiery passion rather then being traditional. Main reason is that I have a relatively low typing speed then most chatters, meaning that I usually can't get a word in between or otherwise have to correct myself because other people got ahead of me. -_- Its very demotivating, and quite honestly, I like the 'I'll post when I feel like posting' flow of a forum because I don't have to pay atention all the time.

Originally Posted by Tk3997

We have the DVD Booklet flat out state that what the knights wear isn't armor, but is lighter and makes them more mobile. Now given that what wear see the Knight wearing is basiclly a BJ do the math. Actual armor clearly exists in Nanoha though it's fallen into disuse due to a lack of threats that warrant it.

To quote the passage:

Spoiler:

"Ancient Belkan practitioners generally equip defensive attire known as “Knight Armor”, but the Guardian Knights wear “Knight’s Garb”, designed by Hayate. (Concerning this, details can be found in the “Book of Darkness Incident” data files) Similarly, the Unison Device Reinforce II dons Knight’s Garb when advancing to the front lines. As fitting the support-type Reinforce II, although it does not provide top-class protection, Knight’s Garb allows for more agile maneuvering."

That's a fucking Slam dunk as far as I'm concerned BJ are not the upper tier of defense and there main downsides are probably there vulnerability to physical weapons.

Hey, you never heard me say that Knight Armor is a weaker defence then Knight's Garb, but how you say that Barrier Jackets are weaker then Knight Armor eludes me. There are various levels of Barrier Jackets, some are more geared towards high defence (Nanoha, Subaru, Teana) some more to high speed (Fate, Erio, Caro) . These are different types of Barrier Jackets with different parameters, and since they're not called 'Knight's Garb' there is no way to say they are weaker in terms of defence. Indeed, one could theoryze that Nanoha, Subaru and Teana are wearing the Mid variant of Knight's Armor, while Fate, Erio and Caro are wearing the Mid variant of Knight's Garb. The reasoning behind this lies in the booklets:



Actually, scratch that. "heavy armor?" "high manouverabillity?" This sounds exactly like the difference between Knights Armor and Knights Garb. This practically confirms that Nanoha, Teana and Subaru are wearing Mid versions of Knights Armor, while Fate, Erio and Caro are wearing the Mid versions of Knights Garb.

Originally Posted by Tk3997

Which is who? Basically everyone besides Regius that gets screen time are long time acquaintances of theres or even family. Seriously name me a character that loves them that shows up in StrikerS that they haven't known for sometime.

There are the three admirals, one of which rather likes Hayate too. The only knowing these have of Hayate and co? One escort mission. Well, that and records off course.

Originally Posted by Tk3997

Luddite.

*wikkies* Hey! I resent that! I rather like my laptops, consoles and handhelds thank you very much. I'm just not as lazy as you are when it comes to physical movement.

Originally Posted by Tk3997

Meh I didn't think it was that bad certainly not as bad as I've seen some people go.

Ah, see, that's because you know the jargon. What may seem like a natural thing to say to you may go whoosh with the rest of us.

The reverse also hold true, a great deal of Kha's crack (minus the 40k stuff, which was my fault anyway) makes sense to me because I know the backgrounds of the various anime and games used.

Originally Posted by Wild Goose

I would like to point out, Keroko, that only you came up with the interpretation that I was saying that everyone would be hating RF6. You did not read my post fully. I said everyone who RF6 had made to look bad and who would be competing with RF6 would be hating them. Everybody else got the point except you, so IMO in this case it's your problem, not mine. I did not say that everybody would hate RF6, I was saying that [B][I]everybody who RF6 made to look bad, or would be competing with, would hate them.

Actually, you answered the question to how I got the idea that you were saying that everyone would hate RF6. 'Everybody who RF6 made to look bad' which is... well... basically every unit in the TSAB.

Originally Posted by Wild Goose

Chronological biological age being younger doesn't help the fact that you're the old maid of this group, Keroko.

Only because I hate chat programs?

Originally Posted by Wild Goose

Depends on what it's meant by armor. Though IMO I think Subaru's "armor" would be more along the lines of magical protection; note that the drones are firing magical energy bolts, not physical attacks.

And get trashed into physical walls, protect against physical punches and kicks from the Sentoukijin (note that these are the same attacks that have the strength to slam people through concrete) I do agree that what is meant by armor is the magical defence, but then, that has always been my point.

Originally Posted by Wild Goose

Keroko, again, LOOK UP AND READ MY EXAMPLES. We've only seen a fraction of people out there, and again, since in Comar's canon RF6 is taking on a lot of roles and responsibilities from other units, those units that have lost their missions are going to be very unhappy with RF6 stealing their jobs - it makes justifying their existence that much harder.

Goose, this is exactly what I'm talking about when I talk about Miltaku crack. Yes, in real life such things have happened, but we are not working with real life here, we are working with an anime, and as such we need to prove such things happen in the anime first before we go and alter things. Right now, there is no proof whatsoever that every unit RF6 made to look bad would hate them.

Originally Posted by Wild Goose

It's no different from the mentions of 40k making people who don't know anything about 40k going .

I know, I know. My bad.

Originally Posted by Wild Goose

Kerokanon is SRW K.

Also, heads up people, especially Kagerou: I predict the emergence of a hawt white-haired test pilot chick. Comar's bringing FM4's Durandal to his Comarcanon. We'll see how it goes...

Oh yeah, btw, there's a Front Mission 5 translation project ongoing. Interface is done, they're now working on story text and subtitles.

http://frontmission.info/wiki/pmwiki.../ProjectStatus

Ohya and if the hardsuits idea works out - though we need to see it in action, and comar needs to present it - I may in fact decided to bring in either Strike Wyverns or Barghest to his Comarcanon. We'll see. Olive branches are sprouting.

So, out of curiosity because this game looks mighty interesting, how are they going to make the translation work? By the looks of it, this is a Playstation game...

[Kha]

And it's done!

CODEX: DAEMONJAEGERS
DER KLERIKER KRONICLES
3rd Edition

It's rather outdated given the new rules we've come up, but until 5th Ed is done with playtesting, I guess we'd have to stick with this Kha.

[Tempy]

Ehh.

I'll probably be making my own timeline: the Tempest Continuity.

The Mugen no Frontier: Super Robot Wars OG Saga of OCT.

Ancient Belka, Sci-Fi-Fantasy, and even a visit to the mystical world of Gensokyo.

Here's to hoping it comes out well.

[Evangelion Xgouki]

Ah, another active weekend. Good to see the OC is revving back up again .

Cadia Zwei: Eva-nii-chan!! *glomps*

*pats*

Cadia Zwei: Ne, ne. Daijoubu?

Hai, hai.

Cadia Zwei:

Anyway...time for a

WEEKEND

BACKLOG

Cadia Zwei: Breaker!

Originally Posted by ghazghkull

Wait....wasn't that the time that the front end of your car rammed into something? And then Satashi made a one-shot out of it?

Wha...?

Originally Posted by Kha

Spice is what makes life a bit more liveable, and if Khrack is a spice, why not have some?

Granted a addict will need lots to reach the same kick.

The spice must flow!!!!

Originally Posted by Wild Goose

At least there won't be hugeass half-baked 40k crossover port ideas. Or remember Kha's intentions to turn Voltaire into a mecha? Even a miltaku would look at Voltaire and go, "Okay, big dragon, how can Caro deploy Voltaire better for best usage?" and not "ZOMG VOLTAIRE IS A MECHADRAGON LULZ".

>_>

<_<

Voltaire the Zoid?

*RUNS*

Originally Posted by Mirron

I'd like to make a character, but I have a few questions.

Welcome!! Welcome to Outer Cadia!!!!

If you need any ideas, feel free to browse through the directory on the first page of the thread to see how others have created characters

Originally Posted by Mirron

I already finished the first two seasons. I am on the third, episode 10. I started, I think it was Friday, so given this rate, I should be done by tomorrow, sometime around 4, although I could be wrong, as my life should be getting active pretty soon.

Cardcaptors is really powerful? I only followed the second season of Sailor Moon at most, and I was too young to remember anything about it, except that I wanted special powers as well, I believe. Of course, some things in CCS are over the top. The Shield and The Sword, for one. But Nanoha is really weaker compared to CCS? I never got that feeling, unless you look at the ways the Clow can be used, I suppose, in devious ways.

Ah, CCS. How I love that series so . It's hard to compare different magical styles, but some of us hold CCS in high regard. Plus Sakura has the ultimate spell at her disposal...

Originally Posted by Aaron008R

We've just been thru a lot.

Actually, to do a very quick summary, the OC Thread community has gone thru three major history arcs. Namely...

1. The Beginning. (No need to explain. ^^;

2. The Wild Blooming. (Where the HAXX levels were rather outta control. But still fun. Usually referred to as the Golden Days of Wild Abandon.[Okay, I made that up.] That phase lacked a bit in control.)

3. The Stringency Wars. (The previews era was wild? This era took control a little too seriously and cranked it to the other end of the rainbow. This is where the recent hissy fits ghaz mentioned were in full force. But lots of bad blood and dark suppressed emotions due to the extreme stringency against any points regarding HAXX caused the lack of motivation to write.)

And now, I would like to believe that we are all currently in Era #:

4. The Middle Ground Rebuilding Period. (Where the balance between creativity and basic groundwork rules is maintained. If too much lack of control is bad, too much control is just as bad. That's what we learned the hard way. But now, we're past that.)

If I must say so myself, you picked a decent time to enter. Have fun!

And this is only the beginning!!

Originally Posted by Kyral

Gah! Can't belive I didn't remembere Haku!
Ok... it's been a while since I saw the first Naruto arcs...

Ah! And those are from Princess Princess?
Now I know where I saw that one... my Brother and his Girlfriend where talking to me about that one.

Ah, Princess Princess. I actually watched some of that...

The scary thing is...they made a live-action drama series of it...

[ghazghkull]

Originally Posted by Evangelion Xgouki

Wha...?

Yeah, I recall that kris has an accident a while back, which resulted in the front of her car getting horribly trashed.

[Comartemis]

Originally Posted by Wild Goose

Edit:Wait, wait, wait, Comartemis. SAFA-like unit? Tactics and gear testing? DURANDAL?! TESTING?!

...there had BETTER be a hardsuit model called "Zenith". And you had better have a Belkan member named Hans Bosch! Maybe not Bosche, but you NEED the Zenith!

*Coma assumes the Gendo Position, smirking evilly*

I was wondering if you’d catch that, Goose. While I wasn’t originally planning on using more than just the name and the general purpose, there’s absolutely no reason why I can’t port Elsa and company to serve as squadmates to Subaru and Teana.

But let’s back up a ways and see how I came to this point.

Spoiler for Backstory Breaker:

Comacanon actually begins a long time before the series begins, back when Jail is still a kid. I don’t know who posited the idea of the Scaglietti Brood being created using Ancient Belkan tech and the brains happening to find Jail by chance, but I’m going to use it as the baseline of Jail’s existence. When the bureau initially approaches Jail in his childhood, instead of being co-opted into serving the master plans of the TSA High Council, Jail refuses to have anything to do with them. However the revelation that he is an artificial mage throws him for a loop, and as he gravitates towards the field of archaelogy (associating himself with the Scrya clan at the same time) it begins to wear at his self-image and general mental stability.

On a dig one day, Jail accidently uncovers an ancient ruin containing an immensely powerful sentient Lost Logia known as Exodus. Mortally injured in the fall, he is healed when Exodus merges with his body, using him as a human host. Exodus offers Jail the power to justify his own existence by destroying those who would take it from him, or something to that effect. Jail accepts that power, and completes his descent into total insanity. With the merest fragment of his own power, Jail destroys the ruin and fakes his own death, teleporting out of the ruins as they collapse around him.

Using Exodus’s knowledge of Forerunner science and his own vast intellect, Jail sets about setting up a colossal Xanatos Roulette based on the outcomes of precognative visions Exodus occasionally provides him with, as well as his newfound fondness for manipulating the lives of those around him; he’s acquired that God Complex we see hints of in StrikerS.

This begins with Jail establishing the basis of the Combat Cyborg project as the brains originally intended him to do, but he also begins the basic development of his Gadgets far earlier than he did in canon. Before long, Jail acquires a reputation as a notorious dealer of mass-based weapons, and is offered a place in the Carpatha Syndicate, the single largest crime syndicate in the entire multiverse.

Jail works his way up through the ranks over the course of about ten years or so, and by the end of A’s, Jail is one of the top members of the Carpatha Syndicate, and in total control over the development and production of illegal weapons tech, including the first six designs for his Gadget Drones.

With Jail pulling the strings of the Carpatha Syndicate, mass-based weapons begin flooding the black market in mass numbers, and the TSAB is ill-prepared to deal with this. This is made blatantly clear about six months after A’s, when the Aces and the Wolkenritter are dispatched to the planet Carpatha along with several squads of combat mages from multiple units. The mages are supposed to converge on a suspected Gadget factory and shut it down, but Jail’s Gadgets meet them at the front door equipped with AMF fields, which the grunts are totally unprepared for.

In the ensuing slaughter, the Aces are forced to retreat, and run headlong into members of a local resistance movement. It turns out that the government of Carpatha is pretty much completely in the Syndicate’s pocket, and the resistance has been trying to do something about this for a long time, so they have a great deal of experience in fighting against mass-based weapons. Among their numbers are twin Aces-in-training, Alexander and Iris. Neither has a last name, as both are orphans by unusal circumstances.

To make a long story short, the resistance helps the Aces strike a major blow against the Carpathan Syndicate by not only destroying the factory but also killing the head of the Syndicate. This only serves Jail’s plans, however, as one of his primary political supporters in the Syndicate’s upper echelons takes over the spot as head of the Syndicate.

Jail is now all set to pull a mechanized coup any time he likes; the only reason he’s putting it off is because he’s not interested in leading anything until he destroys the bureau and creates his perfect world atop the smoking ruins of the TSA. Exodus serves as a background character for most of this period, and only reveals exactly what he is when the Aces confront Jail face-to-face at some point in the future, whereupon he will mop the floor with them.

Jail may have been an epic threat in StrikerS, but he was not an epic villain; he was a cookie cutter mad scientist whose only interest as a character was his dynamic with Fate and the other subjects of Project F. Under my guidance and Exodus's influence, he's going to turn into goddamn Kefka, god complex and all.

End backstory. Begin analysis of Durandal.

Spoiler for Durandal Information:

Durandal was begun by Alex and Iris (who both take the name “Yagami” after being inducted into the Ground Forces) with approval from Regius Gaiz about two years after A’s, in recognition of the disaster that was the Carpathan Incident and the need for such a unit. This unit serves as a replacement Riot Force Six, since I don't think Regius would have as much of a problem with the Aces operating temporarily in one of his units and answering to his command structure, rather than being a navy unit operating on his turf. Subaru and Teana will join up near the beginning of the story as new recruits, but Caro and Erio will probably only get cameo appearances unless Fate somehow gets her own unit within Durandal, which strikes me as an unlikely occurrence.

Zest and his team, incidentally, were killed during an investigation of one of Carpatha’s factories, slain by the Cyborgs as per usual; the only difference is that Regius wasn’t trying to cover for Jail, who isn’t "in bed" with the high council.

Durandal’s purpose is to research mass-based weapons and develop weapons and tactics intended to counter those weapons, as well as enhance the firepower available to the typical ground forces mage. The pride and joy of Durandal, is of course the Hardsuit, an armor-type device intended to be the ultimate weapon of a GF mage, particularly when facing adversaries using mass-based weapons.

The core of the device is centered around a heavily-armed suit of battle armor, one specifically designed to maximize protection against both physical and magical attacks. This suit is made out of the same transformable material that most devices are constructed of, and most if not all of them possess their own onboard AI system.

In addition to the armor, each Hardsuit contains a number of hardpoints, spots on the armor intended to serve as mounting points for Weapon Devices, special devices that amplify the power of spells fired from them by a considerable degree, but sacrifice flexibility in exchange for that power; for instance, a single device may only be able to fire unguided shooting spells, and must be reconfigured by a Meister to be able to fire homing spells, but it will boost the power of those spells by a full rank at the same time.

This lack of flexibility is made up for by the variety of Weapon Devices mounted on the Hardsuit, with each device being monitored and controlled by the Hardsuit’s own AI program. Further, since the average ground mage does not possess a veritable library of spells, the loss of flexibility is not as noticable as it would be if this system were to be utilized by, say, Air Force mages.

The end result is a heavily-armored and heavily armed mage able to routinely and safely use spells with power outputs a rank higher than his/her usual safe limit; B-ranks, for instance, can casually boost the power of their spells to A-rank without stressing themselves or their weapons. Further, certain weapon devices are capable of utilizing the CVK-72 Cartridge System, boosting the power of a mage’s spells even higher than the weapon devices would allow. Subaru Nakajima, for instance, has a pair of Cartridge Systems installed in her twin Revolver Knuckles (which are modified into weapon devices after she joins up) and another pair serving as fuel for what amounts to a magical afterburner installed in her armor’s propulsion systems.

[Mirron]

I will have to avoid this place for a while, if just because it takes up my time a lot and I need to finish the series before I learn anything I don't want to.

Anyways, I have a few rough ideas of what I'd like to see, the problem I have is coming up with an alternate mode for a spear that has not been used before. Also, I'm not sure what the difference between Knights Armor and Knights Garb is, but the characters in Nanoha seem capable of taking physical blows as well as magical blows, and the amount of abuse Nanoha's body takes in the first/second seasons is amazing for a 9 year old.

Also, people here like the second season a lot? I have to yell at someone, who said most people disliked the second, and loved the third.

[Keroko]

Knights Armor is better defense, but a lower manouverabillity, most likely because more magic is send to the Jacket, which means less magic is available for movement. Knight's Garb is the reverse, it sacrifices defense to make more magic available for rapid movement.

As for the seasons... Season one was kind of dull. I love A's with its rapid paced story, and despite the cries of woe, I also love StrikerS. If you ask me to pick between A's and StrikerS, I'd have a hard time, really.

[Evangelion Xgouki]

Originally Posted by Mirron

I will have to avoid this place for a while, if just because it takes up my time a lot and I need to finish the series before I learn anything I don't want to.

[Goblin Techy]Do not run. We are your friends[Goblin Techy]

Originally Posted by Mirron

Anyways, I have a few rough ideas of what I'd like to see, the problem I have is coming up with an alternate mode for a spear that has not been used before.

Well, post em away and we'll be more than glad to help out . And don't worry about that. We have Devices here of all shapes, sizes, and origins. The limit is your imagination~

Originally Posted by Mirron

Also, I'm not sure what the difference between Knights Armor and Knights Garb is, but the characters in Nanoha seem capable of taking physical blows as well as magical blows, and the amount of abuse Nanoha's body takes in the first/second seasons is amazing for a 9 year old.

Field generators. Those little red gems on Nanoha's Barrier Jacket (BJ)? They produce a defensive barrier to give her some protection. Not as much as the active defenses like W.A.P. or Round Shield but it helps when you get slammed into a building

[Mirron]

Well, I would like a character who is trained by one of the knights in their way of fighting. I do recall that Vita was asked to train people at the, I think it's a church of some sorts for Velkans, so it could happen like that. It doesn't need to be one on one, although that would be nice at some point.

The weapon would be a spear of some sort, but I can't think of a variation on the spear that isn't in use by another character. I'd also like the element of ice/water, although whether ice and water are combined in this one I'm not sure. Past that, not entirely sure. I'll need to think more.

[Keroko]

Actually, Vita is an air-combat instructor at the TSAB (that, and I don't recall her ever being asked to train Belkan mages at the church). However, we still need to work out why Vita would train your character in the Ancient Belka style specifically, as she would be teaching people how to use Neo Belka on her post.

Speaking of which, what is the difference between Ancient and Neo Belkan anyway? Is it just fighting style? If so, I don't see any problem people learning Ancient Belka from training under Vita.

[Comartemis]

Originally Posted by Mirron

Well, I would like a character who is trained by one of the knights in their way of fighting. I do recall that Vita was asked to train people at the, I think it's a church of some sorts for Velkans, so it could happen like that. It doesn't need to be one on one, although that would be nice at some point.

A mage doesn't necessarily have to be trained by one of the Wolkenritter to be a Belkan Knight. The Empire may have fallen, but I've used lots of different old Belkan families keeping the system alive as backgrounds for my Ancient Belkan characters. All you need is the proper justification and you can do just about anything here. Of course, the more outlandish your ideas are, the better they need to be justified, and anything that goes directly against canon is, needless to say, right out. Take it from someone who learned this the hard way.

The weapon would be a spear of some sort, but I can't think of a variation on the spear that isn't in use by another character. I'd also like the element of ice/water, although whether ice and water are combined in this one I'm not sure. Past that, not entirely sure. I'll need to think more.

I actually came up with a water/ice combo character concept a while ago that I never got around to using. The character herself had a water-elemental affinity, and a device with an ice-elemental affinity; the two elements are so close in the magical spectrum that she can essentially switch between the two elements in mid-spell; picture a torrent of water that solidifies into a solid block of ice after it splashes the enemy. As for the weapon itself, how about a halberd or a naginata?

[Mirron]

Well, Ancient Velkan is what Hayate uses, while Modern and whatever Velkan the knights use seem to be just different approaches to the same thing. I don't know if Ancient is the same case even, same system, different styles but not power levels, although I doubt it.

It was, hmm, I think episode 9 or 10. Vita was asked to head over to the church with Sigrun in order to train some members. As for why, hmm, not sure.

Also, I like StrikerS so far. I'm not sure why it's disliked.

Halberd is one of the things I thought of. Naginata, I forget what that looks like.

[Keroko]

Originally Posted by dkellis

I was told in IRC to slap up the very rough notes for a battle scene I'm having some trouble with. Minor spoilers for the next chapter of Lyrical Melancholy, not that it matters.

Spoiler for Cut for neatness.:

The setting is a warehouse for a manufacturing plant. It is the only warehouse open in the complex, due to this being a special visit. The warehouse contains reinforced crates (effectively indestructible) of a Macguffin Material, which has several applications, the most relevant of which is for building combat-capable drones. At the moment, the Macguffin is "orihalcum", but I'm open to changes, since it's really not that important.

The Macguffin is valuable and efficient: one crate of it would be considered a tremendous loss, and enough to build a great many drones.

Good guys:
- Rancer LaSalle, 37th CIAA, ranked AA, Midchilda, barrier specialist. Commander of the mages. Places safety of non-combatants over everything else.

- Reiz Astra, 37th CIAA, ranked A+, Belka, staff fighter, strong fire elemental affinity. Inexperienced, lacks self-confidence, but still very skilled when pressed.

- Laura Veiron, Intelligence attached to 37th CIAA, ranked A, Belka, heavy sabre fighter. Aggressive and driven.

Objective: Protect the civilians, protect the Macguffin, defeat the drones, and find their source, in that order, as ordered by Rancer.

Bad guys:
- Battle drones of the same model, numbering between twenty to thirty, although the number can change as needed, as long as it's "a lot". Quadrupedal, squat, armed with drills, claws, blades, and one powerful laser mounted on top. Heavily armoured, not very fast, but very durable.

Objective: Retrieve at least one crate of the Macguffin and escape, making as much noise and destruction in the process.

Others:
- Hans Jonsson, non-powered civilian warehouse manager. Kind of strong, good runner.

- Miscellaneous warehouse workers, numbering perhaps eighteen. Liable to panic or try to be heroes.

Objective: Run around like headless chickens.

The good guys will not be expecting the drones, which will ambush them from a tunnel dug some distance away. The end result of the fight will be all the civilians safe, Rancer having to order Laura to break off pursuit (presumably to help save civilians), and Reiz distinguishing herself. The drones will make off with at least one crate of the MacGuffin, but they will lose several of their number in the process. Rancer and co will find a clue in one of the demolished drones. The warehouse will suffer a lot of damage, despite the good guys' best efforts.

Essentially, I need some tips on writing out a mass battle like this, and having it be interesting enough to engage the reader's attention. Right now it reads like a very boring account of a bad simulation.

Hmm, I don't see anything wrong with these notes... sounds like a good base for battle. Which parts are you having trouble with?

Originally Posted by Mirron

It was, hmm, I think episode 9 or 10. Vita was asked to head over to the church with Sigrun in order to train some members. As for why, hmm, not sure.

Oooh, that part. That was Vita teaching anti-AMF tactics to the 108th and the Chruch mages, it was nothing permanent.

Originally Posted by Mirron

Also, I like StrikerS so far. I'm not sure why it's disliked.

Expectations I guess. A lot of miltaku's also fell over some of the military incorrect choices. The shafting of Hayate was only icing to the cake.

Originally Posted by Mirron

Halberd is one of the things I thought of. Naginata, I forget what that looks like.

Of course, you could also go for a Hasta, a Guandao or a Yari.

[Mirron]

Hmm. I dislike the lack of real combat so far, but episode 11 was good for a while. I expect it will pick up soon, I hope it does.

Otherwise, it's good so far. As for the weapons, I'll need to think of some powers that will justify the weapon shift. Could be tricky. Shame the rocket trick had to be done with a spear user already.

[AdmiralTigerclaw]

Got a little more scene work done, slowely trucking through my Cafeteria scene.


Review and let me know if I'm dragging too much anywhere...

Spoiler for Engineers Eat Too:

Having found their own spot, Nanoha and Fate immediately began eating their meals rather quickly, pausing only to watch the respective moments of the fight they were not pressent for, or to watch the opponent's perspective.

Nanoha seemed particularly interested when Crash tried to use the Hyperlance Extension shot to take Fate out at extreme range. When the shot was fired, extra statistics displayed from anylized data put the shot above nine-hundred meters a second. She imagined a dozen ways to have Raising Heart duplicate the simplistic mechanical principle that fired the Hyperlance Extension. Having a beam that could hit farther away, all that much faster would allow her to pluck targets off all the quicker. Or perhaps make a homing version of the shot... That's it, a nine-hundred meter a second homing shot. Dodge THIS! It made her grin, and almost start chuckling out loud.

Fate noticed after a few seconds Nanoha was laughing to herself, and quickly began to sweat... Oh god, she didn't want that toy for herself did she? Nanoha held the record for longest range direct shots in the TSAB, all she needed now was a way to make them hit even farther away and faster. However, she found the window in the corner of the replay showing a Crash's Visor HUD Point of View quite fascinating. Even as Crash was busy getting his ass handed to him in their hand to hand duel, she watched as the bracket that identified her changed color to indicate threat level, and took stock of the small indicators next to it displaying relevant data.

"Oh god, I think I pissed her off..."

Nanoha burried her face in her arm to keep from laughing outright, causing Fate to simply turn red in embarrassment. Those in the room had caught on to the spectacle in Crash's HUD and were also barely containing their own laughter. Fate decided after a moment, that despite not really feeling it, she DID look rather pissed off as she hoisted Bardiche up in its Zanber Form.

'THUMP!'

Suddenly, all laughter in the room ceased. The girls took a second to realize the deathly silence that had come over the room, yet the strange feeling of a dark aura finally drew their attention to the entrance.

Don stood, hard hat still on, right at the entrance. He seemed preocupied with something in front of him... Actually, it was the glass and shattered light bulb on the floor in front of the food line. After a long, almost scary pause, many in the room dreading a repeat of earlier, Don took a slow, deep breath and walked over the damage, and quickly exchanged quiet words with Marilyn. A quick dart of his head in Crash's direction gave them a good idea of the conversation before he scowled. Before he could say anything though, Marilyn suddenly shook her ladel at him, speaking quietly with a look on her face that was most certainly not offering him a five star dinner. The head mechanic seemed to bite lip to prevent whatever he wanted to say from coming out, but he relaxed and tipped his hat a little, then accepted a plate of food from her. Appearant dissaster averted, attention returned to the replay, now matching Nanoha's high altitude dogfight with the Madcap.

"Clunk!"

Nanoha and Fate jumped as a tray came down right in front of them. Don joined it a second later.
"I hope you don't mind an old angry man like myself joining you," he stated, almost apologetticly.

They both shook their heads quickly, and he smirked in what seemed to be the antithesis of the personality they'd seen him display, then sat down.

"I don't like to be mean," he stated, grabbing up his fork and taking a bite. "It's just that I work very hard around here. Sometimes it feels like I'm the only one who knows what he's doing."

"I bet that can be really hard sometimes," Nanoha nodded. Don instantly recognized that she was 'keeping her distance' in the conversation, and simply attacked a piece of meat.

"Look ladies," he stated after a few more bites. "I'm an engineer, and that means I solve problems."
He took a fork and stabbed some of his food rather agressively.
"Not problems like, 'what is romance', no. That would fall under the perfue of your cunundrums of philosophy."
As he said that, his eyes drifted to a small fly that was attracted to the aroma of their meals, then snapped back up to them.
"I solve practical problems," he continued. "For example... how do you keep some nasty little piece of filth from ruining hours of hard work?"

For a few seconds, the senior mechanic went back and forth between Nanoha and Fate.

"The answer," he began.

WHOOSH-WHAM!!

Both aces jumped as his arm came up fast, and then slammed hard on the table, holding a large fly swatter he'd somehow managed to produce from seemingly thin air. The rest of the room had frozen again at the loud report, only to go back to eating after spotting the reason.

"Use the right tool."

Don lifted the fly swatter up, inspecting its matted surface to note the rather flat remains of the little pest that had been attempting to enjoy what would now be its last meal. With an idle swish, he shoved the fly swatter out of sight and reached up, pushing his hard hat up and pulling a tiny little spray bottle out while fishing a small white cloth towel out of a pocket.

"And if that don't work," he continued, spraying the spot he'd struck a few times. "Invent a better tool."

Don quickly wiped the spot he was spraying and stuck the stuff he'd used back where they came from. One couldn't tell at first glance how much he really had on him.

"But Crash is different," he stated, shaking his head as he returned to eating. "No matter what tools I use, what I make, how much I plan, he foils any attempt to stay ahead of the game."

Starting to understand how the engineer felt, the aces began to relax a little and resume eating, feeling just a slight sympathy now that they had witnessed enough to make sense of it.

"I don't hate the boy," Don continued. "But I hate wasted effort, and that boy invariably leads to more hours of wasted effort than I thought physically possible in one day. Do you know how many times I have had to change the card readers in the test facilities before we simply switched over to using personelle to watch the entrances?"

Nanoha expected him to give them the answer, but instead he skipped onto another train of thought.

"It's extremely frustrating waking up each day and wondering what you'll have to clean up after this time, and how much it's going to cost in time, effort, and money, to deal with. If I wanted to be a janator, I needn't have worked so hard to get this position."

After another bite he looked Nanoha square in the eyes.

"And that leaves me a bit grouchy," he stated evenly. "I'd like you to understand, that even if I look ready to kill somebody, I can't really say it's anyone's fault, not even the Boy's. And I don't mean anyone any ill will. I'm just good at yelling, it's generally the only way I've ever been able to get anyone to listen and perform as I need them to. As I've said... the right tool."

More silence, dominated by the engineer quickly going through a portion of meat. The one-sided conversation, seemingly over, the girls resumed their focus on the replay again. At this point, it seemed to be around when EDI and Crash had retreated. They listened to the Dialogue as the pair went over their combat options, having only just missed Crash realizing they weren't fighting top level. A muted screech announced when EDI began jamming.

[Sheba]

As for Scaglietti not epic enough, well, you cannot get more epic than...

Spoiler for The Man who Would make every mad scientists of the multiverse his bitches:

Professor Nova from "Gunnm".

If you guys can't acknowledge his supreme superiority, you are hopeless.

[Tempy]

Originally Posted by Mirron

Halberd is one of the things I thought of. Naginata, I forget what that looks like.

Originally Posted by Keroko

Of course, you could also go for a Hasta, a Guandao or a Yari.

Another alternative for a halberd is the Ji, as made popular by Lu Bu.

Spoiler for Lu Bu:

It's the same weapon my OC Noland Reiniger used when he was still a Knight of Ancient Belka, before his fall into madness.

Which reminds me... I need to craft up a small spell list for the weapon.

[Sheba]

Originally Posted by Tempest Dynasty

Which reminds me... I need to craft up a small spell list for the weapon.

"Kill!"
"Crush!"
"Destroy!"