Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha Character Creation and Discussion

[PhoenixFlare]

Originally Posted by Tormenk

Hmmm..

Add certain ingredients from SEED, Elfen Lied and Evangelion and this'll make for a wonderful mindfuck indeed.

Spoiler:

"Bring the girl in here."

The guards brought the bound and gagged girl into the darkened room and secured her in one of the doctor's restraining platforms before swiftly leaving the room.

Having had her gag removed, Vivio immediately spat into the doctor's face, leaving her spittle to stain the left side of his spectacles.

"Now, now. That's no manners for a young lady such as you Vivio. It would appears your guardian failed in that aspect of educating you well." Tucker mocked as he wiped clean the mess on his face with a handkerchief he produced from his lab pocket.

"Leave my mother out of this you sicko. You know nothing about her. At all."

"Oh but I do. Far more than perhaps even you might think you know."

"Shut up."

"Feisty. I can see where you got that from. Regardless I can't do that now, can I? If I'm going to show you the results of my hard work in here. Hehehe." Tucker giggled as he traced a finger down Vivio's cheek.

"Don't touch me you sick fuck!"

"Tsk tsk. What have they done to my lovely Vivio-chan now? Well no time to waste on words. Time to proceed onto the main show of today, shall we?" Tucker said as he turned into the deep darkness of the room. The restraining holds turned and followed as well.

"What you see here is one sector of the largest facilities in the Prize. Here we work, to further the vision of our leader and honor his wishes."

"But work can be difficult. Very difficult indeed. We ran into much problems and failures on a certain project of ours that was concluded not too long ago."

"The work of depraved minds has nothing to do with me." Vivio spat out.

"Oh.Ohhhhhh but this has much to you with you, my dear Vivio-chan."

"STOP CALLING ME THAT!"

"Yes Vivio-chan." Tucker obliviously agreed, completely ignoring her request at the same time. "As I was saying, we had many failures. But we didn't discarded them once they were deemed one. We kept them, so that we could learn and progress from our mistakes, as any good scientist would have done. Hehehe."

"And! This is the results of our massive failures!"

Vivio's neck and head was bound into place by the restrains as Tucker turned her mobile prison to face the sides of the walkway they were on. At the same time, yellow lights came on and illuminated the area.

Vivio was beyond horror at the sight and fought her hardest to keep herself from throwing up.

Rows upon rows of tanks filled with murky red liquid covered the area, impossible to estimate the number in short order. Within each, held one armored helmet. Or it might have simply been that, if not for the extension from the helmet was unmistakably a human spine. Bits of flesh could still be seen around the base of the helmets, indicating the neck region. Four indentations on the middle area of the helmet indicated where the lost souls had their sight.

What have they been doing here? Vivo couldn't help but be terrified at the thought as she felt her body trembled violently from within the restrains.

"Bah! They were boring after all. Come! Beyond there lies the greatest joy of all! Of the sweet fruit of success!" Tucker shouted as he placed himself behind Vivio to direct her quickly into the pitch black remainder of the lab.

As they approached, the lights in that area came on as well. A giant tank stood in the center, mercifully empty. Various lengths of wires and cables dangled freely inside without their previous master to attach to. In turn the tank was surrounded by various panels and monitors of observatory nature as well as chairs. She was gleefully wheeled into back-facing the tank right as she finished observing.

Despite the horrible feeling from earlier on Vivio was relieved at the empty sight before her, convinced the madman was lying after all. She managed a weak retort despite herself.

"Seems like you were just deluding yourself Shou," addressing the older man by his first name as a form of insult. "Your so-called success is no where in sight. Adding support to her guess, the scientist was silent as he turned his back to her.

The maniac's sudden silence coupled with the mortifying sight in front of Vivio inevitably unnerved her. It would not last for long as Shou Tucker spun around, the glint of his glasses hiding his eyes though unable to hide the massive grin beneath them.

"Then a fairytale to enlighten my darling here." His grin grew impossible wider with that.

"Little over a decade ago, we received a most interesting proposition from a most interesting man. I remembered how happy I was that day when I was made the head of the project." The doctor clasped his hands together as if to make his point clear.

"Ah work was difficult back then, as I had said. The technology was poor and we had few materials to work with."

"But!!! By the blessings of our glorious leader, we made much progress later on. A skip, a twitch and a crack later we made much progression. It made the task of reviving a long dead person that much more enjoyable indeed."

What..?Vivo felt herself stiffen, recognizing familiarity amidst his ravings.

"We tasted the fruits after that. Alas, the client had need of our fruit and it was sent away so soon after the tree bore fruit. To the wretched home planet of the TSAB."

The young girl could acutely feel the slowing down of her heartbeat, in dreading anticipation of his next words.

"Howeveeer!! That does not matter now! After so so so so so long a time, what was ours has been rightfully returned to us. Safe, and sound. Right back to where she belongs."

"It's not..!"

"Do not deny yourself of what you have, my girl! For you have returned home." The doctor then spun her around to face the base of the giant tank, of which letter s had been inscribed into the metal plate.

Subject STK-0749 (Vivio)

Forcing her to regard what was before her fully, the scientist's maniac laugher rang loud as he slammed the restrains holding Vivio down into the lab floor.

"Do you see? The magnificence of your birth? By the graves of your sisters?"The doctor's wide-eye crazed expression clearly exposed now even as his shook in unbridled excitement. "Do you behold all this now," Tucker paused to take in an extra lungful of air before his exclamation.

"My sweet sweet daughter?"

Shou was caught up in his hysterical mania as he rubbed both hands against Vivio's frozen face with so much force that he shook her prone form as if she was a doll.

A doll. Perhaps it was.

Mama..

I..

I am...

Spoiler for after notes:

Quick and dirty to get the idea there, after getting a sudden jolt here. Combining the traits of the Seeking Researcher and the Sewing Life Alchemist was much fun indeed.

In case anyone's wondering, this ain't no crack. I had this planned long ao and I do intend for this to come true, in one form or another.

Mine eyes doth spy a resident name we have here, and he is now ... A MAD SCIENTIST?! And planning to do something to Vivio?! DIE, SHOU!

By the way, it's a little bit unclear here. Does this refer to the original production facility for the clones (Vivio included), or Vivio is again captured and going to be subjected for study? Either way, this is for Vivio.

Originally Posted by Kha

Like hell I have a production speed. More like mental spam of names of OCs I never write of, and now in Rebuilt almost completely ditched.

But thanks, I need every bit of encouragement to make it through the daily grind RL, in WoW and here.

We all have that time and again, but yours is always quirky, interesting, and adaptable. And Khracky, of course.

Originally Posted by Kha

And it is the Inquisition's duty to defend it.

*runs from Anita*

Anita-san is the head honcho of the Inquisition?

I'm so going to get the bishbishbish.

Originally Posted by Rockfest

What am I chopped liver? I may be new, but I still troll like no other before!

What do you mean, you troll? It's a great fic, so you're mighty better than a troll!

In any case, your fic is set in 075, and that would be a little difficult to integrate any of my OC into yours, since Leona isn't in Mid-childa yet (she comes in December), Kratos is still training, and Xeno is still a villain in the back-alley. I guess you can use Gabriel if you want, but he's an Intel officer. See if you need an Intel other than Acous, and you're granted permission to use him if you so wish.

Just one problem though ... his profile isn't up yet. We can always solve this in PM, I guess.

Originally Posted by Tempest Dynasty

Yaaaay I got responses!

Squad Morale Restored!

Too much ... 40K reference ...

Originally Posted by Tempest Dynasty

He would be discovered well before any of the series began. Thusly, rumors / horror stories / urban legends have plenty of time to grow, wither, and mutate. According to the timeline established by Nightengale, MC 040 is about 25 years before the events of the first Nanoha season. I may make it so that the recent (re)appearance of Vivio in StrikerS awakens the sleeping bloodlust in him, thus stirring him from decades of cold sleep.

So, it's technically similar to the Cradle identification and activation, but only remotely so in Noland's case (as in, spatial identification of Saint King's bloodline for Noland to awaken)? Interesting and workable at the same time.

And Cocytus ... Shakugan no Shana much?

Originally Posted by Tempest Dynasty

I purposely made Noland's history vague and mostly unconfirmed so that he can be easily inserted into storylines. After all, history is only as accurate as what is written down, and not all written history is the undiluted truth, yeah? The obscurity of his history allows it to be modified without much difficulty.

Yep, principle of vagueness works well in adaptation.

Originally Posted by Tempest Dynasty

Well... I see one possible path of redemption...

Spoiler for Possibility:

Noland: My liege... allow me to serve you once again. I must atone for my grievous sins and transgressions against you and our glorious nation. I have defied gods and demons. I am your shield. I am your sword. I know you. Your past. Your future. As I was once your greatest Knight, let me be your sword and shield once again!

Vivio: Auuu~?

Noland: Then I shall swear once more. Let the earth and heavens know my vow! I am the Hammer. I am the sword in Your hand. I am the Gauntlet about Your fist. I am the Bane of Your foes and the Woes of the Treacherous. I am The End.

Suddenly, Fate and Nanoha gain a rather unsettling new housemate...

Khrack ... reference ... detected ...

Originally Posted by Keroko

I've said it before, and I'll probably say it a milion times more: Nanoha relies on the assumption that the viewer either hasn't studied what they're using, or doesn't care. Heck, Jurasic Park is impossible too from a scientific point of view, but who cares as long as the movie is cool?

Rule of Cool. True, and I've always suspended belief until the issue cropped out. Oh well, now that the milk is spilt, we shall all strive to make it better. Rebuilt of StrikerS, if Kha is doing it, shall embody the true reincarnation of the series! (And no using blood for cloning, please!)

Originally Posted by Keroko

Now, I may be one of the most accepting tolerant people here, and I would be lying if I said I didn't enjoy the occasional futanari comic, but let's not do that to Vivio shall we?

*evil eye*

Or else...

*trembles at evil eye*

Your wish is my command.

[Bob]What? You ruined my chance at stardom![/Bob]

Yeah, but I saved your damned life (and mine)!

[PhoenixFlare]

New stuff!

Originally Posted by Tempest Dynasty

Well, while we're at it, I'll put up the spell list.

Before I proceed, I'll say here that I've gone through the list in a jiffy, and not everything is well (don't worry, we don't go about rampaging for your blood ). I notice that you mention it's historical log also, which can be exaggerated, no doubt . Considering this is a first time, we'll go through the same cycle of explanation again.

It's preferable that absurdly strong spells be balanced with absurdly strong shortcomings as well. Because wordplay can be a little vague, we almost always go for scales for powers (A or C) and stuff like that to make it easier to judge (an example is Aurion Dauer - Aaron, sorry for using this without permission, but your name's the topmost in the list ).

It's true that the scales are predictive at best, but at least we won't go crying HAXX all the time. Balances should be written out as unambiguously as possible, and even though it's possibly author limitation(s) (as in, things that can only be seen applicable in the actual fic, like casting time), do strive to keep true to the balances.

This speaks true also for villains, but they are given more leeways than normal OCs.

Originally Posted by Tempest Dynasty

Knight Armor – Cocytus: Plate-style armor that almost seems alive. The armor seems to shrug off all forms of attacks under A class power. Damage to the armor is sealed up immediately, and no visible injury seemed to affect him significantly.

Knight Armor – Ancile: The legendary shield of the god of war. This manifests as an invisible field of sorts that deflects beams, missiles, and other forms of bombardment. The shield does not seem effective against melee attacks, but it has expressed stability in defense against bombardment spells up to Buster-type spells.

Armor seems all right, though as far as description is concerned, "sealing up" the injury doesn't mean that he's uninjured, right?

Originally Posted by Tempest Dynasty

God Hand – Endless Jihad: (Passive) Highly accelerated metabolism allows for rapid regeneration of wounds and injuries. Given time, even lost limbs can be regenerated. The subject possesses the ability to remain alive even with major organs damaged or destroyed. It is speculated that the accelerated healing is responsible for his apparent lack of aging, or a considerable reduction in lifespan.

Biological impossibility, and HAXX for possible godhood (a la Claire Bennett). Reinforce Ein as a Lost Logia still dies, so ...

Originally Posted by Tempest Dynasty

Insanity Sign – Mad Enhancement: (Passive) All physical attributes are increased drastically at the cost of sanity. The greater the synchronization, the greater the attribute increase, but the more difficult it becomes to snap out of it.

Lacking details, so it's pretty much difficult to comment. More details, please, like what is the consequence of madness, attribute enhancement limit, etc.

Originally Posted by Tempest Dynasty

Insanity Sign – Terror of Death: (Passive) Laced into his aura and voice are subtle hallucinogenic spells that target the sanity and mentality of all those around him. Those caught in the spell are afflicted with debilitating visions of friends and family suffering, unspeakable horrors, and their own deaths.

Cool, but wouldn't that affect his friends (if any), and possibly himself (I know you say he's insane, but more insane is still possible ). By the way, what does passive means? Doesn't cost mana, activated all the time, etc.?

Originally Posted by Tempest Dynasty

Restriction Sign – Chains of Heaven and Hell: Originating from his gauntlets, two chains extend to incredible lengths for purposes of restraint, capture, defense, movement, and even attack. The chains themselves appear invulnerable to conventional weaponry.

"Conventional weaponry" here is vague. It may mean the banned conventionals, though I'm guessing you mean normal Device attacks. Specifics, please.

Originally Posted by Tempest Dynasty

Murder Sign – Bloody Hands: Swathed in disruptive energies, physical defenses like armor crumple like tin foil against the armored fists and greaves of the Berserker. Strangely, the hands themselves can extend out in a feat of anatomical and physiological manipulation, increasing his reach considerably. The hands are cursed to drip the blood of the Saint King eternally as a reminder of his greatest sin.

I'm crying biological impossibility here, not so much as Endless Jihad, though. He's not going to be another Dhalsim without some form of drawbacks. Dripping the blood of the Saint King ... He killed Vivi- I mean, the original Saint King?! Blasphemy! HERETIC! DIE!

Originally Posted by Tempest Dynasty

Tyrant Sword – Wraith Blade "Tyrfing": The cursed sword of tragedy. A long sword composed of as of yet unidentified energies, this ethereal blade disintegrates any unprotected matter in contact with it. The weapon can split into two short blades.

Barrier protects the mage, but it itself is "unprotected". Again, specifics.

Originally Posted by Tempest Dynasty

Reality Defiance – Kronos Shift: Manipulation of time-space allows for him to move at incredible speeds. Its maximum range has yet to be determined.

Time-space manipulation is pretty much a forbidden technique here. Mass and energy manipulation is still possible. I myself am not sure whether villains are allowed to do this myself.

Originally Posted by Tempest Dynasty

Bullet Hell – Gatling Rave: Long range suppression fire. Staccato burst fire of small explosive “bolts.” Rapid fire, but relatively low power. The sheer volume of fire makes it difficult for opponents to act. Originates from gauntlets.

This is all right.

Originally Posted by Tempest Dynasty

Bullet Hell – Infernal Devil's Spear: Medium range anti-armor. A large bullet from hell, this fiery shot melts through heavy armor and shields alike. After piercing the defenses, the bullet explodes violently in a burst of sorcerous energy.

Buster-type?

Originally Posted by Tempest Dynasty

Cataclysm Sign – Holocaust: Close range anti-unit. The very air in front of and around the subject explodes in a firestorm of wild, scorching power. Any unit caught within the attack can be instantly incinerated.

"Instant incineration" leaves a not-so-well impression on me. As usual, more specifics will be needed before further comments can be given.

[Comartemis]

Right. Here's a quick timeline I worked out for the rise and fall of Belka and the Sankt Kaiser in my version of fanon. This is mostly for the benefit of an IRC conversation, but if you've got comments, let me hear 'em.

Also keep in mind that the early events in this timeline may have been embellished somewhat by the Saint Church.

Spoiler for A "Brief" History of Belka, the Sankt Kaiser, and Khaine:

Belka in its’ early history is a war-torn wasteland divided by warlords who do battle endlessly for reasons even they can’t remember

Imperial Year 0000: A young child wanders out of the wastes and politely asks two warlords and their forces to stop fighting. When the warlords ignore her, the child—who calls herself Vivian—displays shocking amounts of power and skill, subduing both warlords and their forces without taking a single life. Vivian’s appearance is identical to Vivio; she’s about 5 or so here.

As per universal (Belkan) standards of combat, the warlords expect to die—at the hands of an infant, no less!—only to be spared and chastised for being needlessly violent. Vivian displays wisdom far beyond her years when she gets the two warlords to sit down and talk things out, then gains her first followers when the two reach a peaceful accord.

Similar events take place all across Belka over the next few years as Vivian travels around preaching a simple philosophy of love and kindness. Word of Vivian’s accomplishments races through the peasant population, which quickly elevates her to a godlike position (she’s more Christ-like than godlike). The Saint Church is formed on the basis of Vivian’s teachings.

Largely through Vivian’s influence, the Belkan warlords unite into something akin to a ruling council. One day Vivian walks in on one of their meetings by chance, and is all but begged to lead Belka into prosperity. Vivian accepts, and reluctantly takes the title Sankt Kaiser; the Emperor of Belka.

Vivian rules for many generations, seeming to age at a tenth the rate of normal beings, which the church takes to be another sign of her divinity (actually it’s just her linker core pumping out so much energy that it’s saturating her body and slowing her cellular decay and thus her body’s aging processes), and under her guidance Belka grows and thrives.

Imperial Year 0258: A teenaged Vivian gives birth to a son, who she names Horus (yeah 40K fans, you know where this is headed).

Horus fails to live up to his mother’s image; he’s just like everyone else, and becomes jealous of Vivian for her power, ageless beauty, and control of the Belkan throne. Unsatisfied with his lot in life, Horus departs Belka, seeking power in other dimensions.

Imperial Year 0277: Horus stumbles upon an ancient prison suspended in dimension space. A relic of Al Hazard, this prison contains the spirits of a malevolent being known only as Khaine, and a decidedly more benign being known as Xerross. Both are Forerunners, survivors of Al Hazard.

Khaine and Xerross were imprisoned for the creation and use of a weapon of mass destruction, namely a ship which Belka will come to call the Saint's Cradle. Khaine is the one responsible for the Cradle's creation and usage, where Xerross was merely a bemused accomplice with nothing better to do. The prison that holds them is meant to maintain their spiritual essences unto eternity, preventing them from dying completely and forcing them to exist in formless torment for eternity, similar to Weil's punishment in the Mega Man Zero games. The problem is that the so-called torment hasn't worked quite as well as the Forerunners thought it would; Khaine and Xerross are bored out of their frickin' minds, but otherwise mostly sane.

Khaine promises to grant Horus unimaginable power in exchange for his freedom. Horus accepts, breaks open Khaine's and Xerross's prison (which is designed to keep things in, not out), and Khaine’s spirit possesses him, leaving Xerross behind. Xerross isn't all that pleased about this, but even with the prison broken open, he can only travel so far without his spirit dissipating, so he stays where he is.

As one of the last surviving mages of Al Hazard, Khaine possesses power beyond anything the Nanohaverse has ever seen or ever will see again. Using Horus as his vessel, Khaine returns to Belka and uses powerful spells to bend large portions of the populace to his will, raising a massive army to assist him in his conquest of Belka. Calling themselves “The Brotherhood of NOD”, Khaine and his followers wage war upon Vivian and her loyalist forces.

In a climactic battle at the war’s end, Khaine and Vivian clash in one-on-one combat in Vivian’s throne room. The two are extremely evenly-matched, but eventually Vivian emerges triumphant, sealing a large portion of Khaine's power and slaying Horus, freeing him from Khaine’s grip. Khaine is forced to return to his prison to recouperate from the battle, while Vivian passes away from grievous wounds suffered in battle.

Imperial Year 0285: Vivian’s chosen successor (selected prior to her death, just in case) takes up Vivian’s throne, becoming the first (non-Sankt) Kaiser.

As the years stretch into decades, centuries, and millennia, Vivian’s teachings fade into memory, her tenets followed only by followers of the Saint Church. The Empire begins to expand outwards through military force in Imperial Year 1490.

At some point during this expansion period, Khaine recovers enough of his strength to begin attempting to draw mortals towards his prison through a beckoning psychic call.

Imperial Year 2067: Weil Clearwater, a Belkan psychic known for his precognitive powers, is lured to Khaine’s prison by Khaine's psychic call and is possessed by him. This time, however, Xerross is decidedly pissed-off enough at being left behind, and starts his own call, luring another powerful psychic to his prison within a few years of Khaine's departure.

Even with Khaine's powers sealed, Xerross is no match for Khaine and so doesn't bother to try to oppose him openly. Instead, he watches and waits, throwing monkey wrenches into Khaine's plans at opportune times.

Khaine’s powers remain crippled by his battle with Vivian, but Weil’s powers of precognition serve Khaine well. He settles into a waiting game, sowing the seeds of Belka’s demise by feeding faulty information and advice to the latest Kaiser.

Despite warnings from the rest of the Clearwater line, at Khaine’s advice the Kaiser begins experimenting with an exceptionally dangerous Lost Logia called the Book of Darkness. The book is activated by the Kaiser’s experiments, consuming several of his most loyal bodyguards (The Wolkenritter) and using the Kaiser’s power to go berserk, wiping out the Imperial City as well as the rest of the continent it was formerly based on. Khaine and several noble families (the Clearwaters and several close allies of theirs) have already gotten the hell out of Dodge, but virtually the entire Imperial government goes up in smoke all at once.

While the Clearwater, Isard, and Sachara lines take refuge on Mid-Childa, the Belkan Empire begins to come apart at the seams. Virtually every world in the Empire splits apart from the Belkan Imperium; some form alliances with other worlds, some strike off on their own, and some declare all-out war on what’s left of Belka. The ensuing interdimensional crisis threatens to rip apart the very fabric of space-time as Lost Logia are weaponized and used on multiple sides of the conflict… just as Khaine predicted.

Khaine's forces strike seemingly at random over the next few years, hitting targets on numerous planets, detonating Lost Logia, and generally causing vast amounts of chaos and destruction. Eventually, the Brotherhood comes under fire from an alliance of worlds lead by Mid-Childa. Khaine abandons his followers; they've served their purpose for the time being.

The bureau is formed, and history proceeds as normal. The Clearwater, Sachara, and Isard lines return to Belka and begin to help the war's survivors piece their planet back together. They become the ruling families of Belka, with strong ties to Mid-Childa and the TSAB.

During this time (MC 000 to MC 076), Xerross travels around the multiverse, continuing to throw monkey wrenches into Khaine's plans at random intervals while simultaneously making himself useful to the Bureau by tracking down Lost Logia. He appears and disappears at random, never letting anyone get a clear idea of his intentions. At times he aids the bureau, at others he aids their enemies. Basically he acts like Xelloss from Slayers NEXT.

In preparation for the next phase of his plan, Khaine begins to gather a new flock of followers to his banner across numerous worlds, using resentment of the TSAB to bind his followers together. When Jail Scagglietti creates Vivio, Khaine kicks his operations into high gear, staging a coup de'tat on Belka and assassinating most of the Clearwater/Sachara/Isard lines, save for the young scions, Ciel, Rico, and Iris, who escape Khaine's execution squads and flee the planet.

Just as Khaine is becoming enough of a threat that the TSAB is taking notice of him, Jail makes his move on Bureau headquarters, crippling bureau forces and preventing them from doing anything for a while after the end of the JS Incident.

Khaine's ultimate goal is to secure the body of Vivian's clone--Vivio--to use as his next host; the power of the Saint King is the only thing that can completely break the seal on Khaine's power. If Khaine is successful in possessing Vivio, not only will he have his own powers restored, he will also have all the power of the Sankt Kaiser at his disposal, and nothing and no-one will be able to stop him.

Just prior to the beginning of the story, Khaine's forces launch all-out assaults on the TSAB's holdings in the outer rim worlds. The beleaguered bureau is forced to dispatch their best fighters to the front lines during this brief offensive... leaving Vivio open for kidnapping as Nanoha, Fate, Hayate and the Wolkenritter are forced to the frontlines. Khaine's stealth units successfully kidnap Vivio and transport her off-planet.

Luckily, the ship that was meant to transport Vivio to Khaine's stronghold is intercepted by a group of contract mages working for Xerross; the Divine Phantasms, made up of Rico, Iris, Ciel, Zero, Rei, and several others. Vivio is returned to Nanoha and Fate as Khaine's prolonged assault peters out and the Brotherhood goes into hiding... for the moment.

And that's right about where the storyline I have in mind begins, just prior to Vivio's rescue. Following the initial storyline "Reunion", the Divine Phantasms are hired by Fate and the Enforcers for a long-term assignment; taking down Khaine's strongholds on several Non-Administered worlds while the bulk of bureau forces deal with Khaine's forces in the field.

[LimitedEternal]

Small breaker for now.

Originally Posted by Wild Goose

Patience, ghazhopper. Patience. (It's a pun on that famous line.)

Besides right now all I can say right now is ZOMG DELICIOUS YURI VIBES WRITE MORE DAMNIT, which isn't really waht you want to hear. So I'll say it anyway. ZOMG DELICIOUS YURI VIBES WRITE MORE DAMNIT.

See Goose, this is why you never try the crack on for size first thing in the morning. :3

I'll be getting to you in a bit...just hang on first...and don't go emo on us. Grey Knights don't emo, they either kill the enemy or they die!

Eh? The guy's a Grey Knight now?

"ALL SINNERS FEAR THE EMPEROR'S WRATH!"

Originally Posted by PhoenixFlare

The Church has a terrible secret.

*nods sagely* The Saint Church is actually a front for the mob, and-

*shot by mobsterSaint Church "soldier"*

The two of you would have to forgive me. I'm currently withholding backlog breaking since it's exam time for me, and time isn't exactly forgiving for me . I am only doing short reads now, but be assured that I'll follow up when it's over.

Yeah, I just got through with that song and dance. Happens.

Originally Posted by Kha

Like hell I have a production speed. More like mental spam of names of OCs I never write of, and now in Rebuilt almost completely ditched.

But thanks, I need every bit of encouragement to make it through the daily grind RL, in WoW and here.

You can't give up now...ganbatte, Kha!

And it is the Inquisition's duty to defend it.

*runs from Anita*

Oh yeah, I forgot Anita-san was a Canoness-in-training...:3

*runs*

Originally Posted by Keroko

I'm aiming for a more knightlike armor, something space marine-ish. Armor with a touch of medievil.

Gotta love old-style armor. <3

I actually did some research into that and found this:


Reinforce II Knight’s Garb & The Book of the Azure Sky
(StS DVD2)
Ancient Belkan practitioners generally equip defensive attire known as “Knight Armor”, but the Guardian Knights wear “Knight’s Garb”, designed by Hayate. (Concerning this, details can be found in the “Book of Darkness Incident” data files) Similarly, the Unison Device Reinforce II dons Knight’s Garb when advancing to the front lines. As fitting the support-type Reinforce II, although it does not provide top-class protection, Knight’s Garb allows for more agile maneuvering. The Book of the Azure Sky is a storage device. Similar to Hayate, Reinforce Zwei’s personal device holds an enormous volume of magic data, which is not used independantly, but makes up half of the magic data available during a Unison.

So yeah, I was wrong, the Wolkies aren't wearing Knights Armor at all.

Whoops.

Wait, so that all means they aren't wearing their combat armor?

Maybe their proper armor is that plate mail they wore in some pics I've seen...

I've said it before, and I'll probably say it a milion times more: Nanoha relies on the assumption that the viewer either hasn't studied what they're using, or doesn't care. Heck, Jurasic Park is impossible too from a scientific point of view, but who cares as long as the movie is cool?

Ah, the Rule of Cool, favorite of SoD-ers everywhere. :3

Now, I may be one of the most accepting tolerant people here, and I would be lying if I said I didn't enjoy the occasional futanari comic, but let's not do that to Vivio shall we?

*evil eye*

Or else...

Even odds someone's already done it, Kero-kun. Better grab that hammer.

Originally Posted by Kha

Your Faith in the Emperor is weak for a Grey Knight. ()

For me, I'm too Simon, hotblooded, confused and careless to be one too. Not to mention having not a shred of badass to my name.

Neophyte.

*runs*

[Kha]

Originally Posted by Tempest Dynasty

Who is this Emperor you speak of? I serve only the eternally glorious and holy God-Empress of Mankind. All other false idols will be purged with extreme prejudice and hate.

Besides, fighting daemons is one deal. Social interactions with humans and xenos is not part of the skill set unless it involves one or more of the following: purging, scourging, cleansing, purification, annihilation, or everyone's favorite, EXTERMINATUS.

As much as I've overseen the formation of the Cleric-Knights, whatever I did, I've always fought for The Greater Good.

Originally Posted by Tempest Dynasty

Hey, that was pretty awesome. My only comment is that he's blind unless his device is active.

Yeap old problem strikes again, like forgetting that Sophia was blind before I couldn't be bothered anymore.

Originally Posted by Tempest Dynasty

Hmmmmmm... now that's a good question.

I like the idea of Primarch, but I also like the Cleric-Knights.

...Heh.

Noland Reiniger: Damned Primarch of the Cleric-Knights. He forsook his sanity and everything he ever lived for in order to save the kingdom he would shatter.

"The galaxy is not yet strong enough to face the horrors lurking beyond our sight. Our existence is one of indulgence, To heal a broken bone you must first break it. I will unify our fallen empire and strengthen it... even if I must be damned to hell forever for it."

1 problem: Cleric-Knights never had a Primarch. They answered directly to the Sankt Kaiser, like they always had. So you have to choose.

Unless you want Grande Meister, but then it'll retcon something on my side.

I favor the Primarch idea better; gives him more leeway as a character IMO. Though that means Noland wouldn't be that savvy of the CKs, but we'll see.

Originally Posted by PhoenixFlare

Anita-san is the head honcho of the Inquisition?

I'm so going to get the bishbishbish.

Pretty much.

Originally Posted by Comartemis

Right. Here's a quick timeline I worked out for the rise and fall of Belka and the Sankt Kaiser in my version of fanon. This is mostly for the benefit of an IRC conversation, but if you've got comments, let me hear 'em.

Also keep in mind that the early events in this timeline may have been embellished somewhat by the Saint Church.

Spoiler for A "Brief" History of Belka, the Sankt Kaiser, and Khaine:

Belka in its’ early history is a war-torn wasteland divided by warlords who do battle endlessly for reasons even they can’t remember

Imperial Year 0000: A young child wanders out of the wastes and politely asks two warlords and their forces to stop fighting. When the warlords ignore her, the child—who calls herself Vivian—displays shocking amounts of power and skill, subduing both warlords and their forces without taking a single life. Vivian’s appearance is identical to Vivio; she’s about 5 or so here.

As per universal (Belkan) standards of combat, the warlords expect to die—at the hands of an infant, no less!—only to be spared and chastised for being needlessly violent. Vivian displays wisdom far beyond her years when she gets the two warlords to sit down and talk things out, then gains her first followers when the two reach a peaceful accord.

Similar events take place all across Belka over the next few years as Vivian travels around preaching a simple philosophy of love and kindness. Word of Vivian’s accomplishments races through the peasant population, which quickly elevates her to a godlike position (she’s more Christ-like than godlike). The Saint Church is formed on the basis of Vivian’s teachings.

Largely through Vivian’s influence, the Belkan warlords unite into something akin to a ruling council. One day Vivian walks in on one of their meetings by chance, and is all but begged to lead Belka into prosperity. Vivian accepts, and reluctantly takes the title Sankt Kaiser; the Emperor of Belka.

Vivian rules for many generations, seeming to age at a tenth the rate of normal beings, which the church takes to be another sign of her divinity (actually it’s just her linker core pumping out so much energy that it’s saturating her body and slowing her cellular decay and thus her body’s aging processes), and under her guidance Belka grows and thrives.

Imperial Year 0258: A teenaged Vivian gives birth to a son, who she names Horus (yeah 40K fans, you know where this is headed).

Horus fails to live up to his mother’s image; he’s just like everyone else, and becomes jealous of Vivian for her power, ageless beauty, and control of the Belkan throne. Unsatisfied with his lot in life, Horus departs Belka, seeking power in other dimensions.

Imperial Year 0277: Horus stumbles upon an ancient prison suspended in dimension space. A relic of Al Hazard, this prison contains the spirits of a malevolent being known only as Khaine, and a decidedly more benign being known as Xerross. Both are Forerunners, survivors of Al Hazard.

Khaine and Xerross were imprisoned for the creation and use of a weapon of mass destruction, namely a ship which Belka will come to call the Saint's Cradle. Khaine is the one responsible for the Cradle's creation and usage, where Xerross was merely a bemused accomplice with nothing better to do. The prison that holds them is meant to maintain their spiritual essences unto eternity, preventing them from dying completely and forcing them to exist in formless torment for eternity, similar to Weil's punishment in the Mega Man Zero games. The problem is that the so-called torment hasn't worked quite as well as the Forerunners thought it would; Khaine and Xerross are bored out of their frickin' minds, but otherwise mostly sane.

Khaine promises to grant Horus unimaginable power in exchange for his freedom. Horus accepts, breaks open Khaine's and Xerross's prison (which is designed to keep things in, not out), and Khaine’s spirit possesses him, leaving Xerross behind. Xerross isn't all that pleased about this, but even with the prison broken open, he can only travel so far without his spirit dissipating, so he stays where he is.

As one of the last surviving mages of Al Hazard, Khaine possesses power beyond anything the Nanohaverse has ever seen or ever will see again. Using Horus as his vessel, Khaine returns to Belka and uses powerful spells to bend large portions of the populace to his will, raising a massive army to assist him in his conquest of Belka. Calling themselves “The Brotherhood of NOD”, Khaine and his followers wage war upon Vivian and her loyalist forces.

In a climactic battle at the war’s end, Khaine and Vivian clash in one-on-one combat in Vivian’s throne room. The two are extremely evenly-matched, but eventually Vivian emerges triumphant, sealing a large portion of Khaine's power and slaying Horus, freeing him from Khaine’s grip. Khaine is forced to return to his prison to recouperate from the battle, while Vivian passes away from grievous wounds suffered in battle.

Imperial Year 0285: Vivian’s chosen successor (selected prior to her death, just in case) takes up Vivian’s throne, becoming the first (non-Sankt) Kaiser.

As the years stretch into decades, centuries, and millennia, Vivian’s teachings fade into memory, her tenets followed only by followers of the Saint Church. The Empire begins to expand outwards through military force in Imperial Year 1490.

At some point during this expansion period, Khaine recovers enough of his strength to begin attempting to draw mortals towards his prison through a beckoning psychic call.

Imperial Year 2067: Weil Clearwater, a Belkan psychic known for his precognitive powers, is lured to Khaine’s prison by Khaine's psychic call and is possessed by him. This time, however, Xerross is decidedly pissed-off enough at being left behind, and starts his own call, luring another powerful psychic to his prison within a few years of Khaine's departure.

Even with Khaine's powers sealed, Xerross is no match for Khaine and so doesn't bother to try to oppose him openly. Instead, he watches and waits, throwing monkey wrenches into Khaine's plans at opportune times.

Khaine’s powers remain crippled by his battle with Vivian, but Weil’s powers of precognition serve Khaine well. He settles into a waiting game, sowing the seeds of Belka’s demise by feeding faulty information and advice to the latest Kaiser.

Despite warnings from the rest of the Clearwater line, at Khaine’s advice the Kaiser begins experimenting with an exceptionally dangerous Lost Logia called the Book of Darkness. The book is activated by the Kaiser’s experiments, consuming several of his most loyal bodyguards (The Wolkenritter) and using the Kaiser’s power to go berserk, wiping out the Imperial City as well as the rest of the continent it was formerly based on. Khaine and several noble families (the Clearwaters and several close allies of theirs) have already gotten the hell out of Dodge, but virtually the entire Imperial government goes up in smoke all at once.

While the Clearwater, Isard, and Sachara lines take refuge on Mid-Childa, the Belkan Empire begins to come apart at the seams. Virtually every world in the Empire splits apart from the Belkan Imperium; some form alliances with other worlds, some strike off on their own, and some declare all-out war on what’s left of Belka. The ensuing interdimensional crisis threatens to rip apart the very fabric of space-time as Lost Logia are weaponized and used on multiple sides of the conflict… just as Khaine predicted.

Khaine's forces strike seemingly at random over the next few years, hitting targets on numerous planets, detonating Lost Logia, and generally causing vast amounts of chaos and destruction. Eventually, the Brotherhood comes under fire from an alliance of worlds lead by Mid-Childa. Khaine abandons his followers; they've served their purpose for the time being.

The bureau is formed, and history proceeds as normal. The Clearwater, Sachara, and Isard lines return to Belka and begin to help the war's survivors piece their planet back together. They become the ruling families of Belka, with strong ties to Mid-Childa and the TSAB.

During this time (MC 000 to MC 076), Xerross travels around the multiverse, continuing to throw monkey wrenches into Khaine's plans at random intervals while simultaneously making himself useful to the Bureau by tracking down Lost Logia. He appears and disappears at random, never letting anyone get a clear idea of his intentions. At times he aids the bureau, at others he aids their enemies. Basically he acts like Xelloss from Slayers NEXT.

In preparation for the next phase of his plan, Khaine begins to gather a new flock of followers to his banner across numerous worlds, using resentment of the TSAB to bind his followers together. When Jail Scagglietti creates Vivio, Khaine kicks his operations into high gear, staging a coup de'tat on Belka and assassinating most of the Clearwater/Sachara/Isard lines, save for the young scions, Ciel, Rico, and Iris, who escape Khaine's execution squads and flee the planet.

Just as Khaine is becoming enough of a threat that the TSAB is taking notice of him, Jail makes his move on Bureau headquarters, crippling bureau forces and preventing them from doing anything for a while after the end of the JS Incident.

Khaine's ultimate goal is to secure the body of Vivian's clone--Vivio--to use as his next host; the power of the Saint King is the only thing that can completely break the seal on Khaine's power. If Khaine is successful in possessing Vivio, not only will he have his own powers restored, he will also have all the power of the Sankt Kaiser at his disposal, and nothing and no-one will be able to stop him.

Just prior to the beginning of the story, Khaine's forces launch all-out assaults on the TSAB's holdings in the outer rim worlds. The beleaguered bureau is forced to dispatch their best fighters to the front lines during this brief offensive... leaving Vivio open for kidnapping as Nanoha, Fate, Hayate and the Wolkenritter are forced to the frontlines. Khaine's stealth units successfully kidnap Vivio and transport her off-planet.

Luckily, the ship that was meant to transport Vivio to Khaine's stronghold is intercepted by a group of contract mages working for Xerross; the Divine Phantasms, made up of Rico, Iris, Ciel, Zero, Rei, and several others. Vivio is returned to Nanoha and Fate as Khaine's prolonged assault peters out and the Brotherhood goes into hiding... for the moment.

And that's right about where the storyline I have in mind begins, just prior to Vivio's rescue. Following the initial storyline "Reunion", the Divine Phantasms are hired by Fate and the Enforcers for a long-term assignment; taking down Khaine's strongholds on several Non-Administered worlds while the bulk of bureau forces deal with Khaine's forces in the field.

A combination of C&C, WH40K and Slayers?! 0_0

We agree on a lot of bits, and using Vivio as the Tacitus works indeed. Just that I'm waiting for Keroko to finish his side of things before I start making concrete references to the past...

Except that I don't define Skane so much; it's better to leave him awfully vague IMO. The Coupdatat also left Carym intact, if it DID happen. (Interestingly, due to Vivio's age, the assassinations fall on the same time as Nanoha/Cente Gravia, which covers the last major conflict in the SAR before StrikerS.)

And, I'm against the immortality of the Sankt Kaiser part though. Keroko kept insisting she's mortal and being outnumbered I agreed for the Greater Good.

Perfectly workable; I'd use a slightly modified version for the Original Generations (Nanoha Rebuilt) timeline, if it's okay with you; cos I got to incorporate ideas from Nighty, myself and Keroko as well.

[Comartemis]

Except on the immortality of the Sankt Kaiser part.

*Dons his best innocent look*

But she's not immortal, just... extremely long-lived. And for perfectly non-divine reasons, too. *coughbullshitcough*

We agree on a lot of bits, and using Vivio as the Tacitus works indeed.

Other possible connections I've made:

• LEGION/CABAL = Khaine's take on a device... but what kind of device do you give a guy like Kane?
• The Marked of Khaine = Khaine's take on the combat cyborg design. Mass-produced and cheap to create, but no ISs, just standard magical capacity.
• Khaine's technological advantage comes from knowledge he retains of Al Hazardian technology. While he lacks the means to make his own Lost Logia, he knows exactly how to manipulate them without getting severe backlash, and can use his knowledge to create weaponry far more advanced than what the TSAB has access to.

Perfectly workable; I'd use a slightly modified version for the Original Generations (Nanoha Rebuilt) timeline, if it's okay with you; cos I got to incorporate ideas from Nighty, myself and Keroko as well.

Feel free, Kha. I'm rather flattered that you think this is good enough to use for your projects.

[PhoenixFlare]

Originally Posted by Comartemis

*Dons his best innocent look*

But she's not immortal, just... extremely long-lived. And for perfectly non-divine reasons, too. *coughbullshitcough*

At least you noticed.

Anyway, the history looks fine (probably because I don't have canon timeline with me). The only thing is that it seems you're writing Belka to be a planet on itself instead of being on Mid-childa. If I remember correctly, the two factions (Mid-childa and Ancient Belka) shares the same planet before the latter went down in history.

[Tormenk]

Backlog Breaker..?

Originally Posted by ghazghkull

Well, this is surprising. I've FINALLY finished the latest chapter of my story :3 Enjoy

It's not much, it's mostly filler int his case to introduce another character.

I smell a growing conspiracy with the entrance of Evangeline here.

Secret future harem for Hayato in the future?

*runs*

Originally Posted by AdmiralTigerclaw

VILLAIN TIME!

"If you want anything done, do it yourself."

Originally Posted by Wild Goose

Well there's always Leena's yuri attack, but it's not like I'm actually using it seriously, it's more played for laughs

I have a hunch I'll see that here someday soon for the cracklulz.

It was me who created the term Khrack. ORE! ORE WA! ORE WA!!!

Uh, nevermind. *goes back to writing on Assault BJ*

Oops. Misread as 'crack'.

...I'm thinking more yuri summon.......delicious yuri.....

Leena: "Oh yesssssssss~"

*RUNS*

The idea of summoning two females to do this and that is rather..interesting disconcerting.

*runs*

And isn't it easier to just break barriers rather than transport out of them?

Only if you're Nanoha.

Though it's really a matter of circumstances in the end. Arf and Yuuno had to transport because their heavy hitters were tied up or down.

Originally Posted by Kha

I think that was the whole point, considering PF also has Templars... So I joined 2 and 2 and went on a rampage...

Kha's going on a galaxy wide search for the version of Belka's Holy Grail with Sophia(Sophie anyone? ) soon then.

Originally Posted by USB500

Another entry for today..... I guess.

Missed the earlier parts cause I was busy. I do like Poseidon's take on things here quite alot. And twins fun here with the Gemini Sisters present.

and here's the new OC I earlier promised.

Nice writeup for Kagura that intergrates back nicely with the other characters as well.

Originally Posted by Tempest Dynasty

Well... I see one possible path of redemption...

Spoiler for Possibility:

Noland: My liege... allow me to serve you once again. I must atone for my grievous sins and transgressions against you and our glorious nation. I have defied gods and demons. I am your shield. I am your sword. I know you. Your past. Your future. As I was once your greatest Knight, let me be your sword and shield once again!

Vivio: Auuu~?

Noland: Then I shall swear once more. Let the earth and heavens know my vow! I am the Hammer. I am the sword in Your hand. I am the Gauntlet about Your fist. I am the Bane of Your foes and the Woes of the Treacherous. I am The End.

Suddenly, Fate and Nanoha gain a rather unsettling new housemate...

I'll see if I can throw together his spell list and put it up soon. From the looks of it right now... it's pretty nasty.

Reminds me of the time I suggested the scenario where Vivio brings in SpaceBrotha's Davram home to introduce him to her mothers. Much fun that was.

I'll be commenting on the revised version when it's up seeing as I was late for the current Noland.

Originally Posted by Keroko

I actually did some research into that and found this:


Reinforce II Knight’s Garb & The Book of the Azure Sky
(StS DVD2)
Ancient Belkan practitioners generally equip defensive attire known as “Knight Armor”, but the Guardian Knights wear “Knight’s Garb”, designed by Hayate. (Concerning this, details can be found in the “Book of Darkness Incident” data files) Similarly, the Unison Device Reinforce II dons Knight’s Garb when advancing to the front lines. As fitting the support-type Reinforce II, although it does not provide top-class protection, Knight’s Garb allows for more agile maneuvering. The Book of the Azure Sky is a storage device. Similar to Hayate, Reinforce Zwei’s personal device holds an enormous volume of magic data, which is not used independantly, but makes up half of the magic data available during a Unison.

So yeah, I was wrong, the Wolkies aren't wearing Knights Armor at all.

Whoops.

Going by gaming areas, trading in defence for evasion isn't too bad.

Now, I may be one of the most accepting tolerant people here, and I would be lying if I said I didn't enjoy the occasional futanari comic, but let's not do that to Vivio shall we?

*evil eye*

Or else...

I find the term Spawn of Slaneesh to be strangely fitting here..

Hmm, 'kill Jail' urges are rising. That means this was damn good written.

That is good to know.

Originally Posted by PhoenixFlare

Mine eyes doth spy a resident name we have here, and he is now ... A MAD SCIENTIST?! And planning to do something to Vivio?! DIE, SHOU!

By the way, it's a little bit unclear here. Does this refer to the original production facility for the clones (Vivio included), or Vivio is again captured and going to be subjected for study? Either way, this is for Vivio.

Everything.

Vivio is captured again, this time brought back to the original clone production facility for ..intensive examinations. The Prize does treasure the merits of a successful Artificial Mage and clone of the Saint King, in line of continuing the progress down that road.

Btw, the name came from this guy. You'll see why I picked his name for a good reason.

[Tempy]

Originally Posted by Kha

1 problem: Cleric-Knights never had a Primarch. They answered directly to the Sankt Kaiser, like they always had. So you have to choose.

Unless you want Grande Meister, but then it'll retcon something on my side.

I favor the Primarch idea better; gives him more leeway as a character IMO. Though that means Noland wouldn't be that savvy of the CKs, but we'll see.

Haha well it was wild speculation anyways by combining two concepts into one magnificent being.

In any case, I had begun imagining Noland's role way back when the Saint King was still strutting about. Now fellows, before I get lynched for what I'm about to present, let me say that this is speculation with nothing ironclad. Hell I'd consider this a joke "What if?"

I remember reading somewhere, probably that Strikers Nano! doujin, that the Veil of the Saint King from which Jail got the genetic information to create Vivio possessed the same characters for the Shroud of Turin. By this, it can be speculated that the Saint King is a reference to Jesus.

Now I'm sure everyone knows the story of Jesus and his twelve disciples, as well as Judas Iscariot.

The Saint King of Belka had an elite personal guard of twelve Guardian Knights, the Custodes.

Which brings me to Noland's position. I've mentioned in Noland's history as to how he is considered the Great Traitor, the Judas of Belka. As the Saint King's favorite Knight, he was selected to take the Eyes of Lunacy and make the ultimate sacrifice: become the killer of the Saint King and bring about a revolution in the galaxy.

With the Saint King slain and his mission complete, Noland is sealed away to await his liege's return.

With Vivio's "birth," Noland reawakens and wishes to return to his position as Custodes, with plenty of drama occurring in the process. He forcibly joins the Takamachi household where he becomes strange, if a bit awkward, member of the family.

Or.

Kamen no Maid Guy Noland.

*stands at ready for the responses, for a Grey Knight fears nothing.*

Oh. Yes. I forgot. Revisions are under way and will be ready soon.

[Kha]

Originally Posted by Comartemis

*Dons his best innocent look*

But she's not immortal, just... extremely long-lived. And for perfectly non-divine reasons, too. *coughbullshitcough*

*looks to PF and Keroko for advice*

Originally Posted by Comartemis

Other possible connections I've made:

• LEGION/CABAL = Khaine's take on a device... but what kind of device do you give a guy like Kane?
• The Marked of Khaine = Khaine's take on the combat cyborg design. Mass-produced and cheap to create, but no ISs, just standard magical capacity.
• Khaine's technological advantage comes from knowledge he retains of Al Hazardian technology. While he lacks the means to make his own Lost Logia, he knows exactly how to manipulate them without getting severe backlash, and can use his knowledge to create weaponry far more advanced than what the TSAB has access to.

Hmm... Keroko, how similar is this to your side?

Originally Posted by Comartemis

Feel free, Kha. I'm rather flattered that you think this is good enough to use for your projects.

No problem. In Rebuilt, everyone's involved.

Originally Posted by Tormenk

Kha's going on a galaxy wide search for the version of Belka's Holy Grail with Sophia(Sophie anyone? ) soon then.

Why did I think of that!

Originally Posted by Tempest Dynasty

Haha well it was wild speculation anyways by combining two concepts into one magnificent being.

In any case, I had begun imagining Noland's role way back when the Saint King was still strutting about. Now fellows, before I get lynched for what I'm about to present, let me say that this is speculation with nothing ironclad. Hell I'd consider this a joke "What if?"

I remember reading somewhere, probably that Strikers Nano! doujin, that the Veil of the Saint King from which Jail got the genetic information to create Vivio possessed the same characters for the Shroud of Turin. By this, it can be speculated that the Saint King is a reference to Jesus.

Now I'm sure everyone knows the story of Jesus and his twelve disciples, as well as Judas Iscariot.

The Saint King of Belka had an elite personal guard of twelve Guardian Knights, the Custodes.

Which brings me to Noland's position. I've mentioned in Noland's history as to how he is considered the Great Traitor, the Judas of Belka. As the Saint King's favorite Knight, he was selected to take the Eyes of Lunacy and make the ultimate sacrifice: become the killer of the Saint King and bring about a revolution in the galaxy.

With the Saint King slain and his mission complete, Noland is sealed away to await his liege's return.

With Vivio's "birth," Noland reawakens and wishes to return to his position as Custodes, with plenty of drama occurring in the process. He forcibly joins the Takamachi household where he becomes strange, if a bit awkward, member of the family.

Just change it to 22 Custodes; that's the number we're working with.

The end of the Kaiser still has to solve the Cradle's origins and fate, as well as several other issues, so I'm waiting on Keroko on this.

*nudges Keroko for the 3rd time in post*

Originally Posted by Tempest Dynasty

Kamen no Maid Guy Noland.

Funny that you mentioned that, for ever since I heard of the anime from Sheba, then watched the OP in the clubroom, I thought of the same thing.

[Anita]

Kha has a self-deluded habit of kneeling in front of a little corner in the Lourve...

The idea of such an intergalactic journey is win. We need more Khophia fluff!

Depending on what the secret is, we may then have to ask ourselves this question...

Turns suddenly to Saber and sneers in her face.

...who exactly are you, Sankt Kaiser.

[Aaron008R]

~How deep can you dig?~
~How much effort can you give?~
~How much passion can you show?~
~For the one and only OC Thread?~

About 80 pages...

BACKLOG... BREAKER.

Originally Posted by Liingo

While I approve of the unshaft Hayate project in general, there's no need for her to be able to use all the abilities that Nanoha and Fate posess in addition to her already considerable arsenal of canon and OC spells that she has. It's a cool point and all but I don't really see the need for it.

She doesn’t. Just some. Copied during A’s before and during the fight with Rein.:3

And whatnot for Excelion Buster. It IS cool. But I hardly find it gratuitous. Buster's a buster.:3

The length of the match? Not really. Just personal preference. Although she must have been under the pump by Tesla during their physical training to last this long consistently for the hour (or so)

Have all the fun you wish. Just don't be surprised if jabs of hayaurion come flying your way

It's part of the plan.:3
Also an additional challenge for making GrandisXHayate work! >3

You do realise that it's really an eroge ending right?

Yep. But that doesn't change the fact that the ending was good. And that much is fine. It's the H-scenes I can't stand...><

Stop snickering.

Originally Posted by XenahortCharybdis

RAINBOW :3 is cute, but excessive.

:3 :3 :3

~IN APOLOGIA- A DEFENSE OF KEROKO~
~with a Defense of Aurion sneaked in somewhere sneaky~
By Aaron008R

Perceptive, aren't we?

:sighs: Ah, the glories of self illumination.



*RUNS LIKE HELLLLLLLLL*

Heh.

Kill or Maim is fine with me, it's after all a simple matter to envision Aurion doing these things

(I had him do these a couple of times, after all...)

Indeed, and noted very carefully *writes down notes*

But do not that there's still a vast chasm between the super-analyzers and the level Aurion is pitched at right now, so there's still a ways to go. Simply put, I'd like to see Aurion when he ISN'T playing around (which means, when the opponent isn't so easily jacked by his illusions among other things.)

That is to come eventually, Xena.

Some of these are still simple *fake right, go left, crossover" level tricks you see in basketball, not even quite at the level of chess yet.

Like I said, using otherwise is too much in this type of situation.

*The above was not a challenge. It was just a suggestion, and anyway, since Hayate's one of the more no-brainer CCs, I think you'll definitely get the uncle better things to do anyway. Ganbatte!*

Thanks.

*Also, if you think yourself unworthy of Aurion's intelligence, wouldn't putting more than one head together be better if you wanna think of something smart?:wink::hint::wink:*

Uhh... Sure?

*runs*

Congrats on the return to philosophy class. I don't mind giving lessons in general apologetics, though. You need to avoid ranting sometimes.

(I'm one to talk, I hardly use those, I debate and slam mostly. Boy do I love taking a slack down here from the usual blade-crossing)

I'm no debater. Just a conversationalist.:3

As demonstrated via Master Olivier.

Spoiler for My turn to rant...small one:

somehow I was looking at this and wondering if I had made Aurion over-perform...I mixed variations of 2 tricks from the 36 Strategies together with a DoW trickster, a chess trap, the full-court press and a pair of my favorite Starcraft shock-troop tactics into a 2 pages and three strings of assaults

Keep it included. I wanna see that.

You know, the way you portray Aurion, he seems to be thinking on a deeper level all the time anyway. He even philosophizes about "the way I are", if only a little

That he does. But then, he's also different from what you'll usually get from intellectuals.:3

And you don't need to attempt to placate me with that. I am actually already quite content with this, but since you asked for "Comments", I just switched on the inner "Evil-Literati-Thespian Xena: Basic Invoke" and started peppering you.

I do understand that not everybody would force Aurion to use smarter tricks, don't worry. *pats Aaron's head*

Oi-

Ashcroft: And now you go around patting people's heads when they are many years your senior, you little elitist.
Xena: Elitist has nothing to do with this!
Acous: It does. *jerks thumb lazily* you can ask Kha and Shou. It seems to be a pertinent matter where you are, no?
Xena: ...Beaten by my OCs...AGAIN?!

*THERE IS NO LAW UP THERE, I TELL YOU!!!!!!!*

Heh. they did the work for me.

Not like I need to unchain you anyway, Crack is as free as the wind. There's no way I could stop it.

*shrugs*

No amount of genius can stop the crack. Rather, it is the overflow of genius that causes the crack to emerge.

:3 :3 :3

Cause and effect, crack can also give rise to more genius that may give rise to more crack.

*takes down notes for THINGS TO LOOK OUT FOR: EVIL LITERATI THESPIAN XENA*

=______________=

Quoted for Truth, Aaron, Quoted for Truth. Although I won't let him lose. Not just yet.

Just as long as he is in-character.

I give up on this craze. Can't stop it.

*Cues 90s music*

~I don't wanna fight no more...~

[arrogance]Since I can't be bothered to keyspam, here's my reply in the form of a most elegant equation[/arrogance]

"(:3) x 10 to the power of x squared, where x is an integer larger than Reinforce Ein's Magical Units."


The space saving joys of mathematics...

Lazy.

Spoiler for not quite work safe answer:

WTH?!

Heart-warming?! You mean B-*Ashcroft elbows Xena over the head* and P-*Ashcroft whips his foot into Xena's stomach* warming, don't you?!!!!

*runs with Ashcroft in hot pursuit*

All talk, not much action save OVERREACTIONS from the man himself

[PhoenixWright] HYPOCRISY! [/PhoenixWright]

:3 :3 :3

*if you can't beat 'em, join 'em.*

You're years my junior, and yet you can take the euphemisms to such higher degrees...-_-

<snicker>



*runs*

EDIT: I don't know why, but I feel strangely alive writing these long posts.

Writing here makes one feel more alive indeed. Such is the charm of OC.

Originally Posted by KNS

Alright, lets try it again with the few tweaks made to it thanks to some suggestions! I think I've fixed most of the background problems. Also, next time I edit there shall be drawings to go with them! Just need to find the time between work and other stuff to fit in drawing time...Hauuu

Spoiler for Hachi Character Info Here!:

*snip*

Very impressive for a first character. Nice work, Kuroi!
Origami is a very unique quirk you added. Hachi's attitude in general is highly interesting as well. And of course, the device and abilities are good and quite balanced.

A few tweaks to Mion as well for the edit job.

Spoiler for Mion, Hachi's Familiar Profile and Spells!:

*snip*

Cute~~~~!!!!!!
Nice, and very well-characterized. Mion is certainly one of the better familiar characters that I've seen here.

Good job!

Originally Posted by Keroko

Woooow, that was long. And a damn good read too.

Thanks.

Couple of initial points though, my German may be a bit rusty, but Tiara's greeting... using 'god'? I'd say 'Guttentag' (good day) is a better one.

Also, canonically, activation was 'anfang' which is not too bad of a translation anyway.

Noted and edited accordingly. Thanks.

And Hayate called her Tiara too. Now what effect will this have on the Wolkies?

That question is kinda still up in the air. Because I'm not really sure how much of Nighty's work would be involved here...

The battle was massive. Long, detailed and definetely nicely paced. The little bits of Agito in between were much apreciated as well.

Agito needs more development.
She's a major player in GenerationS. And as such, I must give her proper presence and characterization.

Now... to think of many various ways for Tesla to pay Hayate back for letting their little secret slip. And maybe think out a training scenario as well.

I'll leave it to you.

While Aurion's confusion does compute to a certain degree, Hayate's nervousness and giberishnes does not. Hayate has always been a forward and blunt girl, I don't see why something as an 'indirect kiss' from someone who she views as a father figure would bother her, nor why the thought of an indirect kiss would even pop up in her mind.

That's why I said it was crack, deshou?

I always get attached to fictional characters, it's a pretty essential part of watching anime, really. You can't feel the drama if you don't get attached to characters, it becomes 'oh, they died' instead of tear-jerking drama. It also is an esential part of writing, if you're not attached to your characters, its hard to write with them (which is the reason I don't write much Rogue Squadron stuff. I don't really feel attached to them)

Quoted for truth.

She was a low down-the-back tail, actually. Maria clicked better anyway, which means that deep down, she already was a loose hair type in my head.

Tesla: Lame excuse.

Hush.

Woohoo! Keroko's ending is in UBW!

Now I want to know...

I assume you like UBW way more than Fate route, huh?

You know my policy on my characters. As long as you don't pull them OOC, they are free to use. AU means that you have more free reign then in Kerokanon, so it's perfectly acceptable.

Now this makes me beam with pride. :3

Thanks for your support guys, truth be told the neg-rep was a long time ago (and has since been washed away with nice good reps :3) but it was still a nagging thing. This removed that last bit of nagging.

No problem at all.
Proper work deserves proper consideration. And all things considered, Keroko's profile is a good example.:3

Originally Posted by ghazghkull

That’s……that’s a very big backlog breaker…*rolls sleeves* Let’s get to it.

*Starts going through for relevant statements*

What can you say about THIS breaker?

Quite the statement you got there :3 Quite passionate XD

If it's with regards to OC, yes. I am VERY passionate.

Which doesn’t excuse you from being arrogant. [size=“1”]You arrogant bastard[/size]

That's not an excuse, that's another arrogant declaration! >3

Originally Posted by LimitedEternal

Oh, it computes all right.

Sorry Aaron, you made the crack work this time. ()

Oh well...:3

()

I don't get what you mean by that, but I'll be happy to help you.

Space-Time Break: Burst Spinning...PUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCH!!!

*watches Aaron go to the moon*

THAT WAS UNCALLED FOOOOOOoooooooorrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*me is punched to the moon*

That's one impressive rant...

This, nothing personal, is why I never hand out rep, good or bad. Too much potential for ego-bruising.

>3

[snark]So you're just an arrogant SOB by nature? [/snark]

So he's more or less messing with her, trying to get his point across? Not a bad strategy for a sneaky fighter.

Make yourself look better than you really are and you can turn that into a real advantage. Especially if you fight with your brain.

Exactly!

I think that's why he made a big deal out of this being pure crack...

Though I do wonder what Hayate's honest reaction would be.

Hayate's... honest... reaction...? O.O

...

Uhm...

How should I say this...

I'm n-not sure...

>.>

<.<

>_<

*RUNS LIKE HELL!!!*

(What do you think?)

Originally Posted by Fuyu no Sora

Approved Aaron-kun sure knows how to give powerful speeches

Your opinion is shared by all

Thanks.

Je vous remercie enormement, mon cher

Now THAT'S the way to go

(Translation...? ><)

*Giggles happily at the patting*

It's good to have you back !

Not true :3

:3

Cute

=3

Creator-tan: I'm getting very good vibes from her

She is a good girl indeed.:3

Originally Posted by Kha

It's the hardest ending to attain.

Put roughly:

Early UBW, you must act in ways that get Keroko fuming at times, endure beatings before you are able to start getting into her dere side somewhere after midgame, which means for most of the way, you will be getting almost no support from any of the Aces, be it buffs, attacks or words of encouragement. This makes battling other Servants and Masters rather tough.

Then when it's time to rescue Sophia from Thomas Kluize, you must pick Keroko and not Saber or Fate when breaking into his holdout, which actually weakens you against Thomas due to the missing of Sankt Kaiser's barrier or the Sonic Boost to match Kluize's speed. (I designed Nanoha/Cente Gravia to be a harem game with Action RPG elements :3)

Heals, bubbles, one long fight later (the easiest specialization to win this battle is to be in Protection/Holy), if Kha survives, then we'll unlock the epilogue that shows everyone living happy lives, and a KhaxKeroko that is an extension of the events during the battle against Kluize and the Daemon Prince. :3

So she's tsundere here instead of compulsive toughie-girl?

But then, this is certainly interesting. I'm sure getting this ending i gonna be very rewarding.

(Yes, I want you to write a Kharoko scenario. Nao. >3)

Allie: Yoroshiku!

Meeting of the second most powerful...

Lyriel:

Yes, and he loved it completely. :3

Originally Posted by LoweGear

...

Kore wa...

SAIGO NO EPIC DA

Thanks!

And Tormenk tells me I'm the master of double meanings... the delicious Hayaurion interactions have so much innuendo in them it makes my head spin with much CRRAAAAAACK (And it seems Agito does too )

Keikakuu Dorii...

"Different personas" though eh? Julie and Aurion are getting more similar by the minute

Yep. Though in Aurion's case he just acts out any at a whim.

Like Big One/Soukichi Banba...>.>

*RUNS FROM ASAGI*

The no-holds barred action, pacing... everything is SUPERB, though it was kinda interesting seeing how the Wolkies act as commentators

AWESOME chapter

Thanks again.

Yes, it does compute nicely

*runs along with Kha*

>_______>

:3

No objections here, and I'll imaging she'd be like a sister to the Linebackers... a sister they'll hit on often

*watches Mai chase S&W again*

So she'll be the mysterious 8th Ranger?

Asagi: CORRECT!!!!!

:3

Yep, there are times when too much power isn't the best

Learned from your example.

Originally Posted by Kha

Don't blow my cover when I'm enjoying the spectacle!

OH SHI--

Originally Posted by Anita

-_-

Khaaaa...

Originally Posted by Kha

*is completely surrounded by Inquisition*



Why am I the bad guy here? I just went to print my lecture notes!

Sorry for causing the distress, but Anita was right, I WAS pissed, and the other comments kinda stabbed me multiple times. But Anita's posts made me smile for some reason...

*Inquisition pushes closer*

Er... Help?

Originally Posted by Tormenk

...

...

Somebody's going to get hurt. Somebody.


/RP

Originally Posted by Anita

Kha is sent flying into the nearest pilar of crystal, then Turned running around while I Gand him to pieces, then Sophia heals him back to full health, so I can do it again.

Next we see Kha running into the Essence of Anger and loses all but 1 HP thanks to his trinket, Sophia heals him to full and I Mind Blast then MC again.

Now we see Kha spinning around in circles while everyone arms shotguns and snipers and automatics. Feel free to shoot, but don't kill him.

Sophia heals him to full. Now I draw him in and Kick him into the air, Run my scooter into him and then finish with my usual.

KHA YOU BLOODY BAKAAA THIS IS NOT A FUNNY JOKE!!! NOW APOLOGIZE OR DIE!!!!!!

Originally Posted by Kha

SORRY!!!

*disappears into the night sky*

Originally Posted by Anita

COME BACK HERE!!! You still haven't told us your plans!!!

(And you had the guts to make me go through all that for nothing... -_- )

What can I say? This rabu-rabu-tsun-tsun-dere-dere interactions are the BLOODY BEST!!!

Originally Posted by Kha

aaaaaaaaAAAAAHHH!!!

*splat*

AARON! YOU ALMOST BROKE MY JAW!!!

Got kicked back here from the IRC... Look I really was sad and depressed and stuff like that, but something clicked...

<cracks knuckles>
That should help in clearing up your mind.

I wasn't depressed about StrikerS getting better. I was depressed at being forced to give up a lot of ideas all of a sudden. Crack is crack, and when ur addicted, it just leaves you withdrawn. I don't think anyone of you got it; like I said, I AM an addict, and you remove my supply, I'd be a Blood Elf without the Sunwell...

I'll try and get StrikerS up and running, but, I feel sooo tired... I can't seem to find the energy to write. Even plan.

We get in those periods. I get that a lot too.

But then, you can do it.
I know you can.

But nonetheless, really really REALLY sorry to have cause everyone worry... I was sick and tired and bullf*** emo, and I ignored the next few posts feeling absolutely crap, then I realized Anita was raising hell and high water to find me while I was at the printer... And I couldn't help but sit it out. Really really really sorry...

At least I'm smiling for now, despite Rebuilt being nowhere near functional again?

But of course.
Like it or not, the OC-Club Danchou's influence affects all.

Originally Posted by Anita

*sigh*

You're hopeless without me, aren't you? :/

You better go and sleep; it's 1 am there. But think about it okay?

Originally Posted by Keroko

... Am I the only one who is actually happy that Rebuilt will once more become the serious rewrite of StrikerS it was originally promised to be instead of the khrackfest it became?

Nope. I'm happy as well.

Originally Posted by Reiji Tabibito

What?

What?!

WHAT?!?!



[Link]Well, excuuuuuuuuse me, Princess.[/Link]

Let me be honest. When I read this months ago. I was going thru a lot of crap in school that many should be familiar with.

And your awesomely scathing snide comments didn't help AT ALL.

I was pissed. Very, VERYROYALLY FRICKIN PISSED at how you seem to have the gall to disregard my painstakingly established details whilst using MY OC for your works. I'm sure you know that I want my characters to be as accurate to my version as possible if other people use them. And what's more, I make every single effort to be civil and polite to you, as well as helping you in your project. And what do I get? I do not get along with people with the expectancy of a reward. But I do not like attitude being thrown at my face on an almost regular basis either. And your attitude just happened to be perfect in rubbing off me the extremely wrong way then.

I understand that this may not be your intention. But the way things were, I was absolutely in no mood to take attitude I didn't like; intentional or not. For once I do not to give a damn whether you intended it or not. You pissed me off, period. This is actually one of the reasons why I took a break from OC since I might retort with something violent like disassociating my works permanently from yours, which is hardly logical and civil at all.

Anyway, I let it down by now. No hard feelings, okay?

NO.

Iyada.

Originally Posted by Fuyu no Sora

Khaaaaaaaa-kuuuuuuuuuuuuunnnnnnnn

>.> >.> >.> >.> >.> >.> >.> >.>

*Fuyu no Sora punches Kha until the middle of next week*

My sentiments exactly... =_______=

IXA BELT: Re-di-i.

"Henshin."

IXA Belt: Fi-su-to on.

KHHAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!
RETURN THAT LIFE TO GOD!!!!

IXA BELT: I-ku-sa Ka-ri-ba-a Ra-i-su A-pu.

*JUDGMENT SLASH >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> KHA*

Originally Posted by Sheba

And now, the last of the Conquistadores exploration unit, Ynana:

Spoiler for ID profile:

*snip*

Like Lowe, I think Ynana is the CUTEST ship operator evar!
Her characterization of cool+naive is awesomely fitting. Her abilities are not bad at all, either. That scene with Chrono is XD XD XD.

Good work!

Originally Posted by LoweGear

I thought that the very idea of the Rebuilt was to fix the problems StrikerS had in its execution. Potential and Concept-wise, StrikerS is an awesome show (as evidenced by the this fine example of a thriving thread), but execution wise even I have to admit it didn't live up to expectation. I myself often have thoughts of Rebuilts, just that I never have any ambition to do so.

Your first questions are exactly the questions that justify the creation of Rebuilt, as such they shouldn't be looked at as your doubts about yourself, but as the problems that your writings could solve. Since IMHO only the execution was flawed, if you can execute the story of StrikerS much better, then you've taken out your first problem. The second problem... since you're recreating the entire thing, the original should now only be the inspiration for the piece, but not necessarily similar (like with the recent Rebuild of Evangelion). And I don't think that's necessarily true... we do like the original material enough to keep the stories and the characters thriving don't we?

As for your third and fourth problems... well, that's a problem everyone writer here in OC or anywhere has at some point, when we're assaulted by so many good inspirations and Ideas that we just don't know what to do. Information overload, and filtering can only do much before our hearts tell us that we should just go with what we want.

We may not be able to solve all of your problems, but I think we, as your good comrades in OC, can help out somehow.

Yep, just like Lowe said!

Originally Posted by KNS

I can't get enough of that...Powerthirst...xD Funny stuff, I must go and read backlog for the previous posts of this if there are any...

And now for my stuff! Images of my OC's drawn by...ME! Mind you these are uninked, done when lazy early in the morning, so feel to criticize and burn me as much as you like critics! Muahahahahah!

Spoiler for Hachi Quickie Drawing - Check!:

Spoiler for Mion, Hachi's Familiar quick drawings:

Hachi's drawing is good. And Mion is so CUTE~!

Originally Posted by USB500

One phrase to summarize this rebuilt:

:3

:3

Originally Posted by AdmiralTigerclaw

Quick! Drink Fanta! That'll perk the place up!

Spoiler for Fanta:

...

......

.........

XD XD XD

ABSOLUTE HILARIOUS WIN!!!!


I wanna make OC versions of this!!! >_________<

*tries to Brainstorm*

THIRD GRADE SECTION V TEACHER: AURION-SENSEI!!!

...

Can't think of a good idea...T_T

*sulks*

Originally Posted by Kha

21STE-01
Genderbent of Kha

Bring Me To Life... Feito-kun...

Spoiler for Kha der Kleriker:

[CENTER][SIZE="4"]*snip*

Ma-oh Shounen Lyrical Nanoha - Of Bishounen and GAR and WUUUD?!

Like Kagerou-chan, this Khrack was born in the Chaotic environment that is the IRC. Unfortunately, even the IRC was destroyed by this bomb...

THE GENDERBENDING OF NANOHA TAKAMACHI, HAJIMARI-MASU!!!

*RUNS AT THE LUDICRIOUS SPEED OF TIME*

Spoiler for Kha BUREKHAAA!!!!!:

KHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!

:3

Originally Posted by LoweGear

SURPRISE PROFILE POSTO!!!!!!!!!

Now for something the IRC guys know, and now posting the first part now:

Spoiler for The Shattered Girl:

*snip*

BIOMAN!!!

*cough*

Ahem...>.>

Good profile. As expected from Lowe-aniki!

Epsila's plight is as incredibly unique as it can ever get! Though the story is a bit sad, it's good to know that Mayura and the others gets to help her.

Liked the contrast between Julie and Epsila as well.

Great job.

She's really gonna hate Aurion...>.>

Originally Posted by Tk3997

Anyway without Further adieu my latest fic! Which still has no name... We've been over this I suck at names lets move on...

Spoiler for SIZE:

*snip*

Originally Posted by Tk3997

Part 2:

Spoiler for EVEN MORE SIZE:

*snip*

Originally Posted by Tk3997

Spoiler for Part 3 YES THREE:

*snip*

HAHA!!
Not only is it deliciously LONG, the story is AW3SOME as well!

Your characters certainly provide a more unique and contrasting personas in OC. And their attitudes sure showed in full force here!

As usual, O'Neil PWNZ ALL. Though have to give kudos to Felix for seeing thru his antics.

VitaXFelix interactions here were without a doubt the BEST part of the story. I dunno why, but they really complement each other sooooooooooooooooo well!

And I seriously went LOLing and XD XD XD at Nanoha's mention of Vita trying to kill her first before they became close friends!XD Sharing some pwnage with Jack, I see.

Zubov seems to be a really tough cookie. Miller is partly pwn-puppy.XD And Pixy is as eccentric as HELL!

Good work! And thanks for some insight to military/police procedures as well.

Originally Posted by Kagerou

A preview of Scene 3. Posted because of implications...

Spoiler for Yuunoko in the making?:

*snip*

O.O

@_____________@

ZOMG WIN!!!!

FINALLY! A proper KerokoXYuuno scene! And hell, it's very well made!

I demand a NanoKeroYuuno scene! >3

Err... What was that...?

>.>

<.<

>_<

*RUNS LIKE HEEEELLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!*

Originally Posted by Tormenk

It's been awhile. Almost feels strange to be posting profiles here again.

Starting off with the expanded Jack profiles is Jac.

Spoiler for Jack of Spades:

*snip*

He’s quite frightening, alright…
The incredibly stoic and efficient Akabane of the group, Jac is indeed a force to be feared…

His movement spells are quite frighteningly helpful in ending several lives in the span of a few seconds…

Nice.

Next up, Jag.

Spoiler for Jack of Hearts:

*snip*

The berserking beserker with a small sister-complex is still as violent as ever.

*is mauled violently with oversized sword*



Anyway, He seems to has the least noticeable change. Jag’s attitude is still there. As well as his extremely powerful rane of spells.

Last profile. Revised and toned down to better fit what I think is a more accurate profile.

P.S:
I'm using the image as a visual reference only. It is in no way a port of the person howsoever.

Spoiler for The Black Fist:

*snip*

GAURON!!!!



Anyway, Gen remains the fiercest of your OC's up to now.
His track record is dark but interesting. And oddly similar to something I have in mind for the future. His spells are quick and effective. Devastating as well. As for devices, they have always been a high point of interest for me. Especially Avatar. Good work! BTW, can he still be another one of Aurion's unlawful contacts?

Originally Posted by Kha

STARS-01
Genderbent of Nanoha


White Devil Never Looked This Cool.

Spoiler for Captain Nanoha Takamachi:

*snip*

...

WHY YOU!!!

Spoiler for Kha BUREKHAAA!!!!! EX+!!!!:

KHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WTF IS THIS?!?!?!?!

Originally Posted by Kha

"Foreman, the package is ready."

"Launch it."

"Yes, Foreman"

INFINITE LIBRARY
Genderbent of Yuuno


Good Morning, I'm Yuuna Scrya. How may I help you?

Spoiler for Yuuna Scrya:

*snip*

"Take that, Humans..."

…

:3

Spoiler for Kha BUREKHAAA!!!!!:

KHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!

>3

Now this genderbend is better, though.

Originally Posted by PhoenixG

Just a crack profile (or not).

People from the IRC might know her...

Spoiler for Suzaku:

*snip*

Trust me, PhoenixG. We know her only TOO well!>______________<

But then, she’s really well-loved in IRC already.:3 :3 :3

Originally Posted by Tormenk

For those who have commented on the profiles I last posted, thanks for taking the time to look through it. I should have the next profiles here up soon.

Mighty late but I felt like doing this so oh well..

Spoiler:

*snip*

Haro: Lockon! Lockon! ... Lockon! Lockon! ... Lockon! Lockon!

Originally Posted by Kagerou

Right, image dump time, for Alpha:

Spoiler for Image 1: Glen:

Glen summons his fire whip while wearing his new form of Knight Armor, Solar Mode

Spoiler for Image 2: Emili:

Emili activates Lunar Form, a form which further specializes her ranged attacks.

Spoiler for Image 3: Franz:

Franz walks down a street on Ariadne. His Battle Rifle hangs loosely in his right arm.

Glen is awesome here! Emili’s look kinda surprised me, and Franz’s is fitting.

Originally Posted by Wild Goose

A short drabble sparked in the wake of Yuunoko and thoughts of couples in the OFM.

Spoiler for Don't Ask, Don't Tell:

*snip*

... hopefully I got Keroko right. Actaully scractch that most of it is probably wrong, I'm claiming she's slightly imbalanced due to sudden deredere-ness and overexposure to Yuuno.

It’s very Keroko to get wrong ideas at first glances with such things… Yaoi-thoughts here.XD XD XD

WANT MOAR YUUNOKO.

Though NanoKeroYuuno is fine too...>.>

*RUNS LIKE HEEEELLLLLL!!!!!*

Originally Posted by Kha

And WHERE IS THE AWESOME THAT IS JUN! KERO-KUUUUUN!!! ><

At least there are some light moments for Alpha. >3
Arisaviel got pwn'd...? >.>/<.< ^^;;;

Watched some clips and the OVA of Happiness!. And I do agree, Jun is THE MOST AWESOME TRAP I’ve ever seen!

Originally Posted by Keroko

Laaazy, don't wanna! Jun was pure crack anyway!

Originally Posted by Kha

ALL THE MORE YOU SHOULD!!!

Ah whatever, at least Kha can safely do Keroko in UBW...

...what?

>.>

<.<

Jiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii~~~~~……………….

Originally Posted by Keroko

But I don't have the motivation! Jun was written down for the lulz and causing people to panic. I never really intended on any romantic scenes between the two, and only left the innuendo in case I changed my mind. I didn't.

Aww… What a shame… Oh well…

Originally Posted by Nightengale

*ninja run*

On that crack evil Yuuno crack over that the Image thread... (( strange how the Legion's response was so...weak ))

Spoiler for ScryaX?:

>_<

*ninja runs screaming "I WILL BE BACK"*

YUUNO=MAKUBEX?!?!?!
DOES NOT COMPUTE YET IT SOMEWHAT COMPUTES!!!

Originally Posted by LimitedEternal

Melike!

Interaction between Aurion and Hayate is...very cute~ but also very...I can't even put the right word to it, but I'm sure it means warm and fuzzy.

So we get fights soon, huh? Now that's more my department.

Very nice. Keep up the good work.

Thanks a lot! The character dynamics between the both of them is one of my favorite subject matters as a writer.

Originally Posted by Evangelion Xgouki

REVELATIONS!!!
Wow...that's a harsh burden to bear .

That it was...

and makes note to have Shamsel beware the wrath of Aurion given his...history with Hayate...

Details...

*DEATH AURA FULL POWER*

Nao...

Yay! More OCs always makes things better. :3

Originally Posted by ghazghkull

Well then...You're no man whatsoever :3

Hoh?:3
Like you should be a proper judge.:3

I like, I like a lot. Keep up the good work man :3

And interesting interaction between the two.

*goes to find a corner on campus and sleep*

Thanks.

Originally Posted by Kha

Snippet?!

Snippet.

I certainly agree with this, now to see Hayate's reaction to this revelation.

Haven’t even properly planned it yet…T_T

And what's this? Rebuilt of StrikerS Prologue completed?!

Spoiler for PROLOGUE!!!:

*snip*

April Fool's? >.>
*RUNS AT THE LUDICRIOUS SPEED OF TIME*

[Setsuna]Gun...dam

Gundam...

Gunda-am...

*reaches up*

GUN-DAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!![/Setsuna]

And yeah...

Spoiler for mandatory reaction:

KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:3

Originally Posted by Wild Goose

Hayaurion FTMF WIN. ^_______________________^

Oh, don't be a baby. Hayaurion is AWESOME.

But please don’t get carried away…>.>

Official Hayaurion is not my intention…<.<

(Actually, from what can be seen in IRC, it can be surmised that Goose shall not accept any other pairing for Hayate if it regards my OC’s…. >_____<)

Originally Posted by Kyral

Instant WIN!!

Originally Posted by Keroko

Waff, high tension, reminiscing, and drama, lots and lots of drama.... *gobbles the delicious drama* :3

Okawari!

Later…:3

When I get to write more…>.<

Originally Posted by Wibbles

A father-son training session between Lucius and Spada:

Spoiler for Length:

*snip*

Like a Lunatic, creating havoc all over the place…

That spell is really quite a bummer to try dodging!><

Originally Posted by Wibbles

Here's an update for Lucius. I added his personality and some of his abilities.

Spoiler for Update:

*snip*

That's it for now.

Lucius is indeed quite an interesting powerhouse.

However, I do have some reservations about her Lightning-immunity. Quite imbalanced, IMHO…

Spells were very cool, though.

Originally Posted by Sheba

Manly...


Embrace?

Spoiler:

Originally Posted by Tormenk

For some reason the first word that came to mind was..

Kha?

XD XD XD

Originally Posted by Keroko

Keroko-kun: *still holding the now empty bucket of water* ... eh?

Keroko-chan: He probably mistook you for me because you're wearing black.

Keroko-kun: I always wear black.

Keroko-chan: Really? Then maybe its because you let your hair down.

Keroko-kun: I haven't even posted that scenario of you yet, how can he mistake me then?

Keroko-chan: Your fault for being a trap.

Keroko-kun: Touche.

Now you’re supposed to look like Keroko-chan?
GIGA TORAPU indeed.

Originally Posted by Wibbles

A training session gone awry leaves Section 6 Headquarters in shambles.

Spoiler for Property Damage:

*snip*

This reminds me of USB’s Armstrong going on rampages!!!><
Collateral damage hurts a lot… Poor Hayate…T_T

Though you forgot to add the part where Spada actually dodges.

Originally Posted by Keroko

New Keroko image! Courtesy of Mercurianangel.

Spoiler for Don't you just want to kiss her?:

That one's going in the profile. :3 Many many thanks Mercurianangel!

Yep. She looks lovely.

*sees fanboys melt all over the place due to her MOE~*

Originally Posted by Tormenk

Spoiler for Jack of Clubs:

*snip*

That device-disabling spell is scary…

Anyway, you can never go wrong with an extremely feisty sniper with a temper as fiery as her sniping is accurate. Lotsa tsun-tsun-tsun-tsun-TSUN is shown.

Now where’s the dere-dere-dere-dere-DERE side…? >.>

*is shot three times on the head*

Spoiler for Jack of Diamonds:

*snip*

I'll leave the Jacks short and revised write up about the Prize for next time. The effort of revising Katrina's profile still looms though.

All things aside, Jec is MOE~!
Her development as a child is rather unconventional, but she came out as an overall likeable person.

The protectiveness of the Price over her is one interesting detail as well. And of course, her spells are naturally powerful. Though Mercurius is still quite surprising for a device.

Originally Posted by Wibbles

Here's the rough profile for Marian, the wife of Lucius (and the mother of Spada):

Spoiler for Mother:

*snip*

Lindy-like already makes her quite the fun mother.

Originally Posted by Wibbles

An update:

Spoiler for Spada:

*snip*

Interesting name.
Though some canon problems might arrive, you did say at one point about kicking canon to the curb. So I guess there isn’t really a problem since he isn’t HAXXed anyway.

Good work.:3

Originally Posted by Kha

I don't care what people think of Gundam 00, what they think about the deaths and dying. I'll have to say this:

THAT WAS PERFECT!

That's because...

Ore wa...

Oretachi wa...

GUNDAM DAAA!!!

*insert sentai explosion*

Setsuna is still flying in the sky. Looks like Foy is getting along fine with Otto. We even got to see Kha's old Grade! Not to mention the 00 I've long called for! Whohoo!!! >3

That said, I have to stop writing Rebuilt for a while. All this blood is warping Serena into Setsuna... After all, same name, same device... Help... >.<

...and lots more, plus her being a tsundere! >3

KHHHHAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING WITH MY SERENA-CHAAAANNNN?!?!?!

Originally Posted by Kagerou

lolz. Well, I guess we better get Aaron set up to start breeding-

*RUNS*

Start up what?

Originally Posted by PhoenixFlare

Short announcement(s), in any case.

Chapter Seven is reaching its 50% mark (give or take some fraction), three scenes left to completion (though the last will be quite a pain to write - battle scenes ), and hopefully will be posted in two weeks' time.

Other than that, Aaron and I have agreed on a collaborative writing to integrate GenerationS (MC077) and GuardianS (MC081), therefore minor edits are on the way for GuardianS to accommodate the changes (so far, only Chapter Four, which will be announced after the edit).

Spoiler for Small news, really:

Aurion will have a daughter by the end of GuardianS.

YOU TOLD THEM!!!

=3

Originally Posted by Keroko

Oi ve, Satashi was in a bit of a Cracky mood :

*MASSIVE SPITTAKE!!!*





Okaaaaayyy....

That was definitely unexpected...>____<

Originally Posted by Evangelion Xgouki

Spoiler for Evangeline:

*snip*

By MC 071 the Project was coming to an end with a fully function Zector: SaSword. Then, in April MC 071 she would receive transfer papers to Mid-Childa and the new Division 66, NERV.[/spoiler]

I must say I was quite surprised. Eva turned way different from Kamishiro Tsurugi.
I’m not complaining though. Her history and attitude very interesting. Not to mention that a “Female Rider is Fine Too”.

Good work with her. Just keep her away from Mayura for now…

:3

Originally Posted by -Fate-

I was told by other members that its ok to post my own version of Fate and so...here it is...

Spoiler:

*snip*

*Fate...drenched due to the rain....*
Asclei:....this is not good...


(I'll add more info later)

Wow…

Awesome drawings there!

The story is pretty interesting as well. When can we see more?

Nice job.

Originally Posted by Kha

It's just me, but I read it as Sonic EXIA Form...

*imagines Fate riding on wings of glittery green*

My wishes over their airspace.

Spoiler for Fanboying:

You've really got talent in drawing there. And gundamit, the BJ improvement to Sonic Form is X1,000!!!!

*shakes -Fate- wildly*

Can I use this for Rebuilt? Can I? Can it???

It's a reasonably believable story plot, and given the dissected Council's rather dark tendencies, it works. Do expand on this. >3

Quite an amount of love for Fate-chan there...>.>

:3 :3 :3

>3

Originally Posted by ghazghkull

I just realized something. Tacticians are those who think on the spot, and plan on the fly I believe.

A strategist is one who plans well in advanced.

Between Tesla and Keroko, Tesla's the strategist, and Keroko's the tactician :3

A bit off topic, but I've just come to realize that. If my knowledge of the two words are correct anyways.

Edit:
Oh and something I need to point out: I've given Rue a face lift. And here is the result:

Spoiler for Rue's New Image:

Lovely.

[Aaron008R]

ORE NO HISSATSU WAZA!!! PART 2!!!!!!!

Originally Posted by LoweGear

Aurion finally bares his darkest secret to Hayate... after a nice and awfully awesome teasing session.

Hayate wants to be treated like an adult by Aurion now... I wonder why that is...

*RUNS FASTER*

Let me guess, double meaning again?

Originally Posted by SpaceBrotha

Right, here's a story from this morning... It was 5:50am, and i woke up to the urge of nature. visited the bathroom, and when i returned, inspiration was waiting with a nailed bat and wanted some dues for me not writing in the last 5 years...

...and nailed me good. now, 10 hours later, i'm posting the prologue chapter of what might actually develope into something interesting

May contain adequate amounts of "lol WUT!?" but please bear with me.

Spoiler for prologue:

*snip*

there, 4100 words. Comments?

Ah yes.
The introduction of the bona fide most powerful OC here in the OC thread.
Like I said in IRC, it is initially confusing, but ultimately a very interesting read.
We have tsundere tower too.
How this develops is gonna be interesting to see.

Originally Posted by LoweGear

... I don't know what possessed me to finally write this, but DAMN do I feel good doing so, even though it may not be my best work.

And now, without further ado...

"Super Hero Time!

Starts Now!"

XD XD XD

Spoiler for Prologue:

*snip*

Yes! WARE WA SUPAA SENTAI DAAA!!!!!

:3
Interseting start. I wanna see more!

WRITE FASTER, GUNDAM!!! ()

Originally Posted by Evangelion Xgouki

Evangeline "Tsurugi" Kamishiro
Spells and Abilities

Spoiler for Spells & Abilities:

Abilities:
-Cast Off: By saying the command "Cast Off" and pressing the tail of SaSword to the locked position the external armor on the chest, arms, and head separate partially from the main Barrier Jacket into multiple components. Once the armor is in this intermediate form, the Device will announce "Cast Off," jettisoning the armor components away. Due to the speed at which the armor is expelled, the components can cause injury or damage objects. Following the expulsion of the armor, the Device announces "Change Scorpion."

-Put On: While in Rider Form, the wearer can use this feature to regenerate all or some of the external armor.

-Clock Up: The key feature of Project ZECT and the Zector. Activated by sliding the user's fingers over the Tracer Switches on the belt while in Rider Form, Clock Up hyper-accelerates the user to faster than the human eye can see. While they appear to vanish, the user sees everything as having slowed down. Tests have shown that physical projectiles like bullets appear to move around an inch every 3-4 seconds to the person under the effect of Clock Up. However, the extreme draw on the user's Linker Core as well as physical strain on the body while using this can be hazardous. It can only be used for a few seconds in real time, although the use of cartridges can be used to prolong the effect.

Spells:
-Rider Slash: The signature move of SaSword. By enhancing the blade with magic, it allows for the easy penetration of barriers and Barrier Jackets or physical objects. One cartridge is used to perform this spell by pulling SaSword's tail to the open and then locked position. The blade also gains a deep purple aura. Due to the quick slashing movements when performing this spell, it gives the illusion that the blade is dripping with a purple venom. A variation of this technique launches two crescent 'blades' with the same penetrating ability.

-Rider Kick: One cartridge is used to perform this spell by pulling SaSword's tail to the open and then locked position. The surge of magic is redirected to enhance the user's lower leg. This is then used in a, usually, flying kick to the target.

Originally Posted by Evangelion Xgouki

Time for a little backstory on the Riders...

Spoiler for Masked Rider System:

*snip*

A nice and casual way to introduce the Project ZECT.
This kinda shows plenty more of port-over riders in the Future…
(*me grabs IXA Belt and Knuckle… >.>*)
Ahem! <.<
Anyway, looking forward to more.
And yes, keep Mayura away for now; or else Eva is gonna be “taken home”…

Originally Posted by Tk3997

Alright PF here you go Cipher mostly finished Profile, the history will be filled in soon:

Spoiler for Cipher:

*snip*

Truly, Cipher is without a doubt one of the most dangerous (but not HAXX) over-S mage I’ve seen in OC yet! Ice is a very, VERY powerful element that tends to be shoved aside in favor of the ironically called ‘cooler’ fire and some other elements. This shows otherwise that ice CAN kill you the worst possible way if needed!

In any case, his attitude is similar in the past installments. The change in device is most welcome since it’s way cooler now. And the spells are great, as well as being a good reminder of the power of Ice.

Good job!

Originally Posted by LoweGear

And continuing from the last chapter...

Belkarangers Task One, Hajimarimasu!

Spoiler for Part One:

*snip*

ME WANTS MOAR!!!

Anyway, cool entry scenario for Gil. It showed a good part of his character already. As well as showcasing the thread’s first JulieXGilliam moment; which is sure to be quite delicious like KayXGlock and MatsuriXShinji.

Nice! And want MOAR!!! >3

Originally Posted by Keroko

Type-0 Sentoukijin

Rebuilt of Uomo

Spoiler for Uomo:

*snip*

[Ackbar]IT'S A TRAP!!![/Ackbar]


In any case, Uomo is indeed rebuilt quite well. The new pic is convincingly TRAPtastic.

And I must agree with Tormenk. The part about looks like a girl but has no qualms dressing up as a guy had me, “Huh?! Whut?!”

Of all the details, I want to know the part about how he sought interactions with Subaru and Ginga. His fighting style is quite fitting. And I guess I’ll have to familiarize myself with some of the references later. ()

Good work.

Originally Posted by Tormenk

ReBuild of Katrina? Nah..

~~~~~~

Spoiler for Katrina:

*snip*

A placeholder for the revised version of the original profile. I got tired of referring to three separate posts for one profile and decided to make changes to the old one while I was at it.

A list of the changes.

• - comestic changes to history
• - reorganization of each section.
• - rank fixed at S+
• - Edited spells and added in some new ones.
• - junking of conflicting spells such as AMF

The second read is no less interesting from the first. Heck, it’s even more interesting than the first!
Just like you said, she is much more balanced now compared to the previous version. But it also just sank in now just how dangerous and incredibly experienced she is…

Just like what I said in the first time I commented her. Her style is quite similar to Aurion, but she had a motherload of mana, moar dangerous spells, moar experience, and a genuine sadistic personality!

She’s truly a force to be reckoned with. Her abilities right now are already way dangerous. I couldn’t imagine how dangerous she could be if she got the Tome and the Mastema…

She still looks quite ravishing though.

*RUNS*

Good job.

Originally Posted by Evangelion Xgouki

*peers out of the Sea of Dirac*

>_>

Spoiler for Arrival:

*snip*

*dives back into the Sea of Dirac*

Do not mess. I repeat. DO NOT MESS with a lady Rider...
Nice scenario. Those thugs got what was coming to them.

*me wants a Zecter too...>.>*

*RUNS*

Originally Posted by Kha

Nice work! I never Rebuilt the CCs to this extent since most of it you'd find in Wiki.

But this is definitely good, and I think I can use this wholesale for Rebuilt, sans the GenerationS bits since they haven't happened yet, and plus the new Confessor spells I dreamed up for Belka Confessors. >3

Thanks.

...what?! You want me to waaaaht?! I left her history with Kha at home, cos it's so long!!! Uploading it later.

Impress us with the details.:3
Show them. NAO!>3

Originally Posted by Tk3997

Nicely done, mostly stuff we all know but still gives good background for your fic, and it's good to know my poorly aimed ramblings maybe have done some good as well.

Thanks. I tried to give more depth with my own inserts such as her crush on Chrono, still.:3

Originally Posted by Satty

As Expected from the OC's Hayate fan...

I see you're back here too, Aaron...and you beat me on the comeback post...

Thanks. And welcome back, too, Satty!

Originally Posted by PhoenixFlare

Anyway ...

*drops nuke and runs*

Mahou Shoujo Lyrical Nanoha GuardianS

Chapter Seven—A Tale from the Past

Spoiler for Scene I:

*snip*

Hmm. Good to see templar development.
They should have done more of the same for the Numbers in StrikerS!
The dream was rather spectacularly surprising in the end... The visage would have been indeed...

Spoiler for Scene II:

*snip*

Edit: I don't know how to use the youtube tag, it doesn't seem to work ... The song will have to link, then.

VIVIO IS WIN!!!



She grew up into quite a feisty yet VERY precocious little rascal!
Her relationship with Leraphiel-neechan is a surprise though.

Nanoha better watch out for more of her daughters antics.

And of course...
'Dense as a rock and straight as a log' was WIN!!!

Kudos to Yuuno for being VERY perceptive.

Originally Posted by PhoenixFlare

Mahou Shoujo Lyrical Nanoha GuardianS

Chapter Seven—A Tale from the Past

Spoiler for Scene III:

*snip*

Pompous leader is pompous.
This feels like some of the big bad bosses I've seen in other series. But I'll be damned if I say that it does not fit here. It sure hell does!!!

Lazarus seems to get shot down as well. But usually in these cases, the leaders like being praised AND shooting 'em down.

Spoiler for Scene IV:

*snip*

TEH DETAILS ARE OVERWHELMING!!!@_________@

...

In a good way.

EPIC info chapter with a brain-busting amount of detail to really bust some brains! And looking forward to the revelation of details from Chrono.:3

Good work!

Originally Posted by Keroko

It's good to have you back, Aaron.

Back for good, this time, hopefully. Lotsa things to do.

That was a good read. I really like the relationship part. Very in-dept. As expected of this boards biggest Hayate fan.

Thanks.

-You never mentioned Rein's Full Size abillity

I did...

-Hayate still has the abillity to cast all the spells 'copied' during A's.

Noted.
Thanks.

... You just reminded me why I need to write the Tesla/Keroko fights. There are none. Nanoha and Teana are the only range oriented fighters we see, and they often get paired of with/against melee fighters. The closest we get is the dogfight with the type-2 aerial gadgets in episode 5. I really wish we could have seen a bit more of that.

Yes, write one. NAO.

Originally Posted by PhoenixFlare

This basically made me go "Bluecheese Nuke" this morning!

And this is really delicious bluecheese added with generous servings of sweet and love (it's still fattening, nonetheless ), as expected of our Hayate writer-meister.

I sure tend to get this "As expected from OC's top Hayate fan" comments, huh?

Anyway, thanks a lot!

I see some nifty references that I can use, especially the Bookmark System and Tiara!

Balmung made me go for a while, though (and that image in IRC notwithstanding). Is she going to wave it around?

*runs when she does that*

Waving around is for swiping lots of troublesome large enmies out of the way. But for what speed is available (slow) Balmung is for dropping a big slab of hurt.:3

Sweetcheese relationship information!

Thanks again.

Nice links with everyone, and I see the piece on Aurion grew quite lovely . And I didn't expect her to have a crush on the Admiral!

Aurion's my OC, so naturally, I can give him as much details as I want.=3
And Hayate's crush on Chrono was very well probable.:3 I wanted to add dimensions to the Nanoha series that 7arcs forsaken, after all...>.>

Lyriel, hmm, you haven't been mentioning it specifically ... And the knight whom she'll be seeing at the Saint Church be her love-life, yes?

Lyriel is still under development.:3 And as for Grandis...

*chants 'I WILL make GrandisXHayate work!!!' several times*

Yes, we must give Vivio more love!

Anyway, Chapter Eight, yasha!

... Spoiler only.

Spoiler for Chapter Eight:

*snip*

And yes, that spoilt quite a bit. :3

ZOMG YOU BLEW UP ESCUTCHEON!!!!!

KISAMA!!!!!

(=3)

Originally Posted by Nightengale

Nothing much we don't know, but it's nice to see a compilation I guess.

Though the front image of choice reminds me of Nineteen 2 dojin, of which I lulz because Hayate (( doesn't )) gets shafted. XP

>.>
<.<
>.<

Take my Saga for example, (( my only Tri-Ace-level OC at his base )). He doesn't have any supremacy, even if he's a well-rounded mid-ranger. The way his character and abilities are written is that his well-rounded skills and natural instincts honed with his foresight puts him as a fighter that never allows the opponent to get the upper hand using rounded abilities and styles to always be able push the opponents into a situation where they can never fully unleash 100% of their full arsenal.

Originally Posted by Tormenk

Holy Bluecheesium.

Aaron makes a grand comeback with the first of the blueecheese bombs. Thumbs up for the profile and double thumbs up for the effort behind this.

Thanks a lot! Good to know my effort amounted to something.

Lastly..

THIS! IS!! HAYATE!!!

=3

>3

Originally Posted by SpaceBrotha

First off, thanks to everyone who read and commented, and ofc thanks to PhoenixG and Aaron008R for beta-reading this.

Right, so after some serious writers blocks to the face, i finally got the chapter 2 together. It's a bit heavy, atleast at the beginning. I also attached some pictures that i managed to find.

Anyway, 5500 words. Enjoy!

Spoiler:

*snip*

There, comments?

Edit: thought to add a link to the first chapter: Prologue

Like I said in IRC, the added dynamics of Iris REALLY made the already interesting fic MUCH more interesting! The interactions are nicely played as well.

As for the details, I’m still not too familiar with them since I don’t know about liches and other D&D stuff much right now… But they’re good.:3

And as for readers of Space’s fic, prepare for more surprising developments later…

MUAHAHAHAHA!!!

Originally Posted by Liingo

As expected of the resident hayate stalker expert. A well written profile.
You managed to point out some things that I wasn’t aware of(sekuhara of the bridge bunnies ) so good job XD.

Thanks.:3

Just one thing, the picture of her in her BJ is a tad NSFW…….. Just a tad

Blame 7arcs for not providing a better solo pic.=_=
IN any case, I did get another pic. Official at that. I’ll add it too.:3

Moving on to the spells, I’m not so convinced that she needs Black Impact. It doesn’t fit at all with the rest of her spell list.

So I should remove a spell that she already has because it doesn’t fit her fighting style? I don’t think so. >.>

Balmung is enough of a close in defensive attack that can be used to keep people aware from her.

Wrong. Balmung is no melee spell.
It does THIS!!!

Spoiler for Balmung:

And believe me, swinging it around is no mean feat. Hardly something you’d use in fighting melee.

*me runs from Negima manga readers*

A melee range attack is something that should really be avoided in favour of a nice strong shield then getting away as quick as possible, using Vita’s copied spell as a distraction (just add a blinding light to it and you’ve got yourself a flashbang.)

Also, I’m highly sceptical of the need for Hayate to be able to use Fate/Nanoha’s spells (Excellion Buster and Genocide Shift in particular.) The wolkies attacks aren’t so much of an issue as since they were part of the book, it’s not so much of a stretch that she will be able to use their spells.

I’m following Keroko’s standpoint here. Hayate still retains the absorbed spells from A’s. And Excellion Buster was added (easily enough). If you don’t want it so much, I can always change it to Divine Buster.:3

The relationship section was well written although I have to admit that the variations of the quote above started to get annoying after a while.

Can’t please ‘em all. Sowwy.:3

Originally Posted by Sheba

Diana Dornier

Spoiler for ID profile:

*snip*

A woman who knows how to make use of her accolades and manipulate things from the back. As well as having the extremely rarely-seen water element to great effect. One of the more unique OC’s I’ve seen in a while. Nice job!

Originally Posted by Tk3997

*TK bombs the crap out of the thread*

Well it's done... and it came out nearly as long as the first one; 14.3k words total. Beware that this chapter lacks action of any sort and includes ALLOT of talking and just a bit of INTENSE INVESTIGATING ACTION. So without further ado Chapter 2: The Return of Atuwe!!!

Well no that’s not that title acutally its…

Spoiler for Welcome to the Jungle:

*snip*

First part was more interactional. And almost everybody here knows that I absolutely LOVE character interactions! And for this chapter, they definitely don’t disappoint. I especially liked the bit where O’Neil was teasing Nanoha. MAN, that was great!

As for the others, it really goes to show the stark contrast of attitudes with several people; yet they all remain badasses one way or another. Pixy is still as eccentric as ever, O’Neil is starting to get bored (which should be rectified to an extent in GenerationS), Felix is now geared for business, etc. And the war against the dirt and grime was genius.

Originally Posted by Tk3997

And where we have part two of this bomb...

Spoiler for Part Two:

*snip*

Irene and Felix make a pretty damned good team. Non-ethical manipulation FTW!!! Poor Atuwe almost got pwned as much as Millers here. Though at least he got something done.XD Mr. Filburn reminds me of Uncle Dursley from Harry Potter…>.> And the interrogation bit was most-satisfyingly overwhelmingly one-sided.

Originally Posted by Tk3997

And lastly

Spoiler for Part 3:

*snip*

One and done!
Overall, this was a most damned interesting chapter!
The characters are the stars here. All the amount of over and under-the-table dealings kept it engaging. And of course, the author’s sarcastic streak was well-felt and vey contributed in keeping the lulz factor even in would-be boring parts in! Good job!

Though I have a complaint though.

GIVE ME SOME OF YOUR FREAKING WRITING SPEED!!!!!!

At this rate, you’ll overtake my progress in GenerationS!!! T____________T ()

And lastly some author ramblings!

Not much action going on in this chapter and not much Vita either, but hey let’s face it investigations aren’t really her thing so what are you gonna do? So what WAS she doing for most of this? Taking allot of naps perhaps? Fear not though she’ll be back to show off what she’s best at next chapter… indiscriminate destruction.

WANT MOAR VITAXFELIX!!!

:3



*RUNS LIKE HELL*

Felix of course is still around plenty being the main character and all and a couple of background guys of mine get some spotlight too mainly Atuwe and O’Neil who shows that yes he DOES do something besides nap in his office all day. Irene is around quite a bit too and her and Felix seem to get on rather well…

This chapter acutally ended up bigger then I expected and I even edited some scenes out that I felt didn’t really add allot to the plot and were holding up my progress. It was mostly some Vita/Pixy stuff and a bit of fluff about the Recon teams forming up which I admit in this final product feels a tad forced and rushed, but I was tired of this chapter and wanted to move on. I may write these up later as Sound Stages of a sort. (Probably not being the lazy bum I am)

When will the next chapter arrive you ask? Why when it’s done of coruse!

Originally Posted by Wibbles

Sorry for my absence, but school stuff got in the way. Here's the data for Lucius's device, Fulgardio:

Spoiler for Data:

*snip*

Like Keroko said, a device can be attuned to casting a specific element, but may not have an element of their own.:3 Elemental affinity applies for living mages/knights.

And of course, halberds are cool!

Originally Posted by Keroko

I know, I know. Heck, walking up to an unsuspecting mage and knifing them would work too. What I meant is that the general conclusion one draws from all the discussions here (bullets are faster/have more penetration power/can be fired faster etc. etc. etc.) is that everyone who loves conventional weaponry will always find a weakness to exploit. When I point out Barriers, they say guns can shoot before the Barrier is cast. When I say Barrier Jackets, they ignore them, or say bullets will tear through them. When I say movement-enhancing spells, they say bullets are still faster. Yet when I try to defend magic (after all, if magic is so useless as the people who value conventional weaponry keep suggesting, why the hell was it used alongside conventional weaponry?) I am placing magic on a pedestal.

Originally Posted by PhoenixG

Like I said on IRC about have doubt of the names of Chrono and Amy's children. I just re-listen StrikerS SoundStage 1. They are called Carol and Tiara.

Originally Posted by JINNSK

Actually,boy's name is カレル(Karel?) and girl's name is リエラ(Riera?)

Spoiler:

Thanks, you too! Edited accordingly.:3:3:3

Originally Posted by Kagerou

Panic mode... ON!

XD

Originally Posted by Tempest Dynasty

Spoiler for Here we go:

*snip*

A potential villain, I suppose. The Church of Belka will most likely not like him, and maybe even Vivio, in a genetic memory sort of way. The blood that stains his hands is the same that courses through her veins. I took quite a few liberties with the history since I don't know of any canonical references to events that far back in the past other than Al-Hazard. Or I could just be a loony and am completely unaware of such facts.

So there it is in its rough draft form. I made it in less than an hour.

I'll follow up with a spell list after this gets kicked around a bit.

First of all, welcome.:3

And as for the OC...


Okay… Now that was quite frightening. And yet it seem to compute so much!!! With some tweaks here and there, he MIGHT have indeed been a cause of the fall of the Saint King!

Overall, great work for a first time. The power level is not much of trouble since he IS powered by a Lost Logia-class device after all. Keroko and the others writing up on Ancient Belka might integrate him as well if all goes well.




WHEN I BREAK BACKLOG, I BEGIN AND END AT CLIMAX!!!!


Ah~...

I've never felt this alive for quite a while! I just love this place!

And of course, "Longest Backlog Breaker in History, GETTO~!!!"

[PhoenixG]

O.o;;;;;

Two full post of backlogs..... 4 Kha breakers.......

O.o;;;;;

[LimitedEternal]

Aaaaaaaaaand that is one hell of a breaker, Aaron. :3

*hands Aaron a "Cadian Backlog Breaker" gold medal*

[Tk3997]

Aaron has acquired the rare skill Supreme Backlog Breaker.

Though I think you missed a character profile or two I posted up inside that huge mess... not that I'm an attention whore or anything (I am) I was just wondering if you decided to to skip over them or simply missed them.

(More acutally useful comments on the parts of that meant for me to come... later.)

[Aaron008R]

:3 :3 :3

*Me receives medal*

Thanks.

I kinda missed the other profiles due to rushing. And I may have skip a couple or so. I'll pick up on the others later. But don't expect the work to just come from me!

Links?:3

[Tk3997]

Hmm looks like it's time for a Backlog Breaker, Breaker... say that three times fast.

Originally Posted by Aaron008R

:3 :3 :3

*Me receives medal*

Thanks.

I kinda missed the other profiles due to rushing. And I may have skip a couple or so. I'll pick up on the others later. But don't expect the work to just come from me!

Links?:3

There linked up in the index post linked in my sig, don't sweat it though like I said I'm just being a whore.

Originally Posted by Aaron008R

HAHA!!
Not only is it deliciously LONG, the story is AW3SOME as well!

I think you're giving me a tad too much credit here it's not terrible, but let's not go overboard here.

Your characters certainly provide a more unique and contrasting personas in OC. And their attitudes sure showed in full force here!

Not really sure quite what you mean but I'll hazard a guess that you're referring to several of them's seemingly boundless sarcasm and cynicisms. In which case you have my own personality to thank for that.

As usual, O'Neil PWNZ ALL. Though have to give kudos to Felix for seeing thru his antics.

Yeah Felix has been around him long enough to know most of his games... which sadly dosen't acutally really help him win any of those games.

VitaXFelix interactions here were without a doubt the BEST part of the story. I dunno why, but they really complement each other sooooooooooooooooo well!

And to think it all started as crack I thought would be funny... Hell maybe that's why it works it is a pretty (fun)ny sort of pairing I suppose.

And I seriously went LOLing and XD XD XD at Nanoha's mention of Vita trying to kill her first before they became close friends!XD Sharing some pwnage with Jack, I see.

It's funny cause it's true and I could totally see it happening as Vita dosen't strike me as being the most rational of thinkers when she's angry.

Zubov seems to be a really tough cookie. Miller is partly pwn-puppy.XD And Pixy is as eccentric as HELL!

My entire idea with Pixy is that he really just dosen't care anymore he basiclly just dose whatever he wants really. He wasn't always like that though as will be hinted at a bit later assuming I can manage not to make it suck.

Good work! And thanks for some insight to military/police procedures as well.

I don't think I gave a ton of insight, but then again maybe my schooling in Criminal Justice is acutally doing something and I'm incorporating said knowledge subconsciously... or you're giving me too much credit again, the later seems more likely.

It’s very Keroko to get wrong ideas at first glances with such things… Yaoi-thoughts here.XD XD XD

WANT MOAR YUUNOKO.

Though NanoKeroYuuno is fine too...>.>

*RUNS LIKE HEEEELLLLLL!!!!!*

*TK Continues heroically resiting the urge to use Keroko in his fic basiclly just becasue*

Watched some clips and the OVA of Happiness!. And I do agree, Jun is THE MOST AWESOME TRAP I’ve ever seen!

From what I understand (having read of but not watch it) he was like the only good thing about the show.

Thanks a lot! The character dynamics between the both of them is one of my favorite subject matters as a writer.

Indeed it can be fun to write sometimes it's such a bother to have to hand all that interaction on a plot of some kind no?

Details...

*DEATH AURA FULL POWER*

Nao...

Protective Aaron is protective.

Haven’t even properly planned it yet…T_T

You need to try harder Aaron!

But please don’t get carried away…>.>

Official Hayaurion is not my intention…<.<

(Actually, from what can be seen in IRC, it can be surmised that Goose shall not accept any other pairing for Hayate if it regards my OC’s…. >_____<)

If Goose is annoying you just bonk him on the head it's what I do, usually works. Then again he seems to have a sort of borderline hero worship thing going on with me at times... sometimes it's sort of creepy acutally. I think I kinda know what Nanoha felt like with Subaru.

This reminds me of USB’s Armstrong going on rampages!!!><
Collateral damage hurts a lot… Poor Hayate…T_T

Though you forgot to add the part where Spada actually dodges.

Felix: It's not the Collateral damage that hurts... hell that's FUN.
Vita: Yeah it's the paperwork you have to do afterwards that hurts.

YOU TOLD THEM!!!

=3

See this is why I just don't give out spoilers to anyone that dosen't NEED to know them. Plus teasing people with tiny tidbits that lack any sort of context is FUN.

Quite an amount of love for Fate-chan there...>.>

This is Kha we're talking about here...

Originally Posted by Aaron008R

Let me guess, double meaning again?

The meaning's not even acutally hidden it's bloody obvious after all what's one of the things that many people consider part of "becoming an adult"?

A nice and casual way to introduce the Project ZECT.
This kinda shows plenty more of port-over riders in the Future…
(*me grabs IXA Belt and Knuckle… >.>*)
Ahem! <.<
Anyway, looking forward to more.
And yes, keep Mayura away for now; or else Eva is gonna be “taken home”…

*TK rubs his temples and sighs* Just what we need more Sentai...

Truly, Cipher is without a doubt one of the most dangerous (but not HAXX) over-S mage I’ve seen in OC yet!

Well that was the general idea glad to see you at least felt it was accomplished.

Ice is a very, VERY powerful element that tends to be shoved aside in favor of the ironically called ‘cooler’ fire and some other elements. This shows otherwise that ice CAN kill you the worst possible way if needed!

I've always thought ice was cool if I could control an element I'd totally want ice. If for no other reason then to COOL OFF MY DAMN ROOM, god it's hot in here!

In any case, his attitude is similar in the past installments. The change in device is most welcome since it’s way cooler now.

Yeah I wanted to try and make the device a bit less generic and at least have ONE device that wasn't basiclly window dressing among my OCs. I tend to focus heavily on the OCs, there combat powers, and tactics and such and think little about the devices this is probably part of my own personal bias I'm very much a "devices are weapons treat them as such" sort of guy I often treat them as sort of really advanced guns and little more.

Notice I've never really invented a new kind of device or seriously played with even the existing ones everyone I have is basiclly using Intelligent, Armed, or Storage devices.

And the spells are great, as well as being a good reminder of the power of Ice.

I happen to think his spell list is perhaps my best ever... perhaps because it's like the only one I've ever acutally finished.

Anyway, cool entry scenario for Gil. It showed a good part of his character already. As well as showcasing the thread’s first JulieXGilliam moment; which is sure to be quite delicious like KayXGlock and MatsuriXShinji.

Nice! And want MOAR!!! >3

Lowe can't seem to fail at Romance if he tried he'd probably end up writing some sort of Shakespearean epic or something.

Thanks. I tried to give more depth with my own inserts such as her crush on Chrono, still.:3

Well you did a fine job of it, but of course writing new stuff is when it gets to be most fun.

Hmm. Good to see templar development.
They should have done more of the same for the Numbers in StrikerS!

This reminds Tk he needs to a spend a bit more time fleshing out his villain group. (has several scenes and most the chars laid out though).

Back for good, this time, hopefully. Lotsa things to do.

We can only hope It was getting boring without you around to make go @_@.

Yes, write one. NAO.

Well I'm working one some of that stuff right now for the aerial portion of the major fight scene for Chap 3. We'll see how it turns out though. (frankly at this time I'm enjoying writing the ground teams exploits considerably more)

I sure tend to get this "As expected from OC's top Hayate fan" comments, huh?

As is to be expected since you are the OC's top Hayate fan.

Lyriel is still under development.:3 And as for Grandis...

*chants 'I WILL make GrandisXHayate work!!!' several times*

Don't worry buddy I'm behind you on that! We're sharing a time line after all and it would be... inconvenient if you failed.

So I should remove a spell that she already has because it doesn’t fit her fighting style? I don’t think so. >.>

Yeah... the LAST thing she needs is to be losing capabilities.

First part was more interactional. And almost everybody here knows that I absolutely LOVE character interactions! And for this chapter, they definitely don’t disappoint. I especially liked the bit where O’Neil was teasing Nanoha. MAN, that was great!

Was fun to write too.

As for the others, it really goes to show the stark contrast of attitudes with several people; yet they all remain badasses one way or another.

Which was kind of the goal a bunch of different people, but all nonetheless quite capable glad it seems to have carried through.

Pixy is still as eccentric as ever,

I have to admit this version of Pixy is arguably OOC for the game versions but they are technically different people and this is 15 years after that so... He was also a bit closer to his origins in the past.

O’Neil is starting to get bored (which should be rectified to an extent in GenerationS),

O'Neil is always bored don't worry about him too much.

Felix is now geared for business, etc.

He'll be back to lazing around soon enough...

Felix: I heard that!

I don't care.

And the war against the dirt and grime was genius.

Glad you like that bit it was something I just basiclly made up on the spot as I was writing along as a sort of mini parody on all those "hard work" montages where everyone is doing random seemingly unrelated jobs and yet at the somehow everything is squeaky clean.

Irene and Felix make a pretty damned good team. Non-ethical manipulation FTW!!!

Ethics are for chumps and real life this is fiction screw morals!

Poor Atuwe almost got pwned as much as Millers here.

Poor Atuwe has been getting pwned since he had the misfortune to fall in with this bunch of rabble... Then again he could probably get away if he really made any serious effort. In the end for all his whining he acutally dose get off the dare doing sort of lifestyle; on a part time basis at least.

Though at least he got something done.XD Mr. Filburn reminds me of Uncle Dursley from Harry Potter…>.>

No idea who that is anyway he's was just a stock "annoying perp that gets owned to advance the plot."

And the interrogation bit was most-satisfyingly overwhelmingly one-sided.

It's not a good idea to bleed when you're swimming with sharks...

One and done!
Overall, this was a most damned interesting chapter!
The characters are the stars here. All the amount of over and under-the-table dealings kept it engaging.

Yeah I figured that if I had to do an investigation interim (and I feel I did instead of them randomly blundering upon there target in like five minutes) I might as well try to make it at least a bit funny with some decent interaction.

And of course, the author’s sarcastic streak was well-felt and vey contributed in keeping the lulz factor even in would-be boring parts in! Good job!

Sarcasm is something I can do as I said I don't take anything that seriously, at least not for long, my own works of fiction included. I've said this before but it always seems to happen that whenever I write anything of any real length sarcasm starts to creep in. I simply cannot do melo-drama to save me life.

Though I have a complaint though.

GIVE ME SOME OF YOUR FREAKING WRITING SPEED!!!!!!

No it's mine get your own!

At this rate, you’ll overtake my progress in GenerationS!!! T____________T ()

Acutally you need not worry much about that from a time line perspective I have the arc all planned and it ends sometime in early April. So you get about a month of cool down where most stuff ends back up at the status quo as far as the characters you’re using are concerned.

If you’d like I can PM you a rough end game summary of the major changes and plot points.

WANT MOAR VITAXFELIX!!!

:3



*RUNS LIKE HELL*

Is all that I am to you people just VitaXFelix?!

[Wild Goose]

*bows at Aaron's breaker*

Yeah you also missed Franz's rebuilt profile, links in my sig but meh I'm just being a whore.

The whole hero worship thing with TK is actually cuz 1) I admire TK's busting; 2) This is the best way I can mess with his head without getting ion cannons on my head :P

Awesome, Aaron. Awesome.

*goes to finish Franz Profile & BelkaRed vs AbareHunter*

[Keroko]

Before I begin breaking backlog, a small question to FlamesparkZ:

How heavy a sleeper is Koji? I need this for Uomo's introduction scenario. Please say heavy sleeper, please say heavy sleeper, please say heavy sleeper.

Originally Posted by Sheba

Like this?

Spoiler:

or like that?

The second pic more so then the first one, but yes, something like that.

Originally Posted by Kha

*struggles not to do an "I told you so" dance.*

Hey, don't hold back on my account. I made a mistake.

Originally Posted by Tempest Dynasty

If you so desire, then let it be so. However like the previous person, I respectfully ask that you wait until I release the final edit. Thank you for accepting my OC though.

Of course. I don't immediately reject everything that uses Ancient BElka because I'm writing a story set in that time. That would be selfish.

Originally Posted by Comartemis

Right. Here's a quick timeline I worked out for the rise and fall of Belka and the Sankt Kaiser in my version of fanon. This is mostly for the benefit of an IRC conversation, but if you've got comments, let me hear 'em.

Also keep in mind that the early events in this timeline may have been embellished somewhat by the Saint Church.

[SPOILER="A "Brief" History of Belka, the Sankt Kaiser, and Khaine"]-snip-

Hmm, well written, but unfortunately nearly useless for Fall on an Empire. Sorry. I might use ellements here and there, but I can't use everything. Though... *mumble mumble* There are things that I can use... which would also explain Skane's apparant lack of aging....

Originally Posted by LimitedEternal

Wait, so that all means they aren't wearing their combat armor?

Maybe their proper armor is that plate mail they wore in some pics I've seen...

We don't know, as we've never seen Knight's Armor in action. It's not a far stretch to assume its more plate-like, though.

Originally Posted by LimitedEternal

Ah, the Rule of Cool, favorite of SoD-ers everywhere. :3

As much as the people here hate it, it is in effect.

Originally Posted by LimitedEternal

Even odds someone's already done it, Kero-kun. Better grab that hammer.

Oh, I know someone has already done it. The Nanoha doujinshi world is swarming with futanari comics.

Originally Posted by Kha

1 problem: Cleric-Knights never had a Primarch. They answered directly to the Sankt Kaiser, like they always had. So you have to choose.

Ahh... that might be a problem. That the Cleric-Knights never had a Primarch I knew, but hey only answer to the Seiou? The Primarch's are second-in-command to the Seiou only, the word of a Primarch is the word of the Seiou, basically. Having an entire unit that doesn't follow the Primarch's orders would be messing with Fall of an Empire.

Originally Posted by Kha

We agree on a lot of bits, and using Vivio as the Tacitus works indeed. Just that I'm waiting for Keroko to finish his side of things before I start making concrete references to the past...

Expect to wait some more, Cort's post has put a huge spin on things, affecting large parts of the core story.

Originally Posted by Kha

And, I'm against the immortality of the Sankt Kaiser part though. Keroko kept insisting she's mortal and being outnumbered I agreed for the Greater Good.

Originally Posted by Comartemis

*Dons his best innocent look*

But she's not immortal, just... extremely long-lived. And for perfectly non-divine reasons, too. *coughbullshitcough*

The fact that various canon sources talk about a Royal Bloodline, AKA more then one generation of rulers, pretty much debunks that.

Originally Posted by Comartemis

[*]LEGION/CABAL = Khaine's take on a device... but what kind of device do you give a guy like Kane?

If he was born in the Warrior Age of Belka, then he's bound to have something fightable.

Originally Posted by Comartemis

[*]The Marked of Khaine = Khaine's take on the combat cyborg design. Mass-produced and cheap to create, but no ISs, just standard magical capacity.

One small problem being that Sentoukijin were always flawed prior to StrikerS, so they'd have to be a very recent product.

Originally Posted by Comartemis

[*]Khaine's technological advantage comes from knowledge he retains of Al Hazardian technology. While he lacks the means to make his own Lost Logia, he knows exactly how to manipulate them without getting severe backlash, and can use his knowledge to create weaponry far more advanced than what the TSAB has access to.

Kinda like Jail, no?

Originally Posted by Tempest Dynasty

The Saint King of Belka had an elite personal guard of twelve Guardian Knights, the Custodes.

Hmm, Primarch Alistina is in charge of security of Vivio, as well as her personal bodyguard. If the Custodes were under her command, then I could use this.

Originally Posted by Tempest Dynasty

Which brings me to Noland's position. I've mentioned in Noland's history as to how he is considered the Great Traitor, the Judas of Belka. As the Saint King's favorite Knight, he was selected to take the Eyes of Lunacy and make the ultimate sacrifice: become the killer of the Saint King and bring about a revolution in the galaxy.

I'm... not sure how I could fit this in. Him being 'the' great traitor would mess with my story.

Originally Posted by Tempest Dynasty

With the Saint King slain and his mission complete, Noland is sealed away to await his liege's return.

Now see, this is why I would like for him to be a Primarch, Primarch are genetic soldiers whom have a longer lifespan then normal humans, which would explain how the heck he survived 300 years.

Originally Posted by Tempest Dynasty

With Vivio's "birth," Noland reawakens and wishes to return to his position as Custodes, with plenty of drama occurring in the process. He forcibly joins the Takamachi household where he becomes strange, if a bit awkward, member of the family.

Don't mind this part one bit. Although... if the above bit works out, that means his reaction to Keroko would be nothing if not awkward. :3

Originally Posted by Aaron008R

~How deep can you dig?~
~How much effort can you give?~
~How much passion can you show?~
~For the one and only OC Thread?~

About 80 pages...

BACKLOG... BREAKER.

....

Wow.... now that's dedication.

Originally Posted by Aaron008R

That question is kinda still up in the air. Because I'm not really sure how much of Nighty's work woul be involved here...

Noted.

Originally Posted by Aaron008R

Agito needs more development.
She's a major player in GenerationS. And as such, I must give her proper presence and characterization.

Great!

Originally Posted by Aaron008R

I'll leave it to you.

*evil eye* Goood...

Originally Posted by Aaron008R

That's why I said it was crack, deshou?

Crack indeed.

Originally Posted by Aaron008R

I assume you like UBW way more than Fate route, huh?

Yes, a lot more. Though I suspect Heavens Feel to top that, reason being I never really liked Rin all that much (the great star in UBW for me was defnetely Archer).

Originally Posted by Aaron008R

No problem at all.
Proper work deserves proper consideration. And all things considered, Keroko's profile is a good example.:3

Thank you.

Originally Posted by Aaron008R

So she's tsundere here instead of compulsive toughie-girl?

But then, this is certainly interesting. I'm sure getting this ending i gonna be very rewarding.

(Yes, I want you to write a Kharoko scenario. Nao. >3)

<_<
>_>

Me too...

*runs*

Originally Posted by Aaron008R

It’s very Keroko to get wrong ideas at first glances with such things… Yaoi-thoughts here.XD XD XD

Originally Posted by Aaron008R

WANT MOAR YUUNOKO.

Originally Posted by Aaron008R

Though NanoKeroYuuno is fine too...>.>

*RUNS LIKE HEEEELLLLLL!!!!!*

*nods while watching Aaron being chased by anembarassed Nanoha and Keroko*

Originally Posted by Aaron008R

Watched some clips and the OVA of Happiness!. And I do agree, Jun is THE MOST AWESOME TRAP I’ve ever seen!

Deshou?

Originally Posted by Aaron008R

Now you’re supposed to look like Keroko-chan?
GIGA TORAPU indeed.

Hey, I've got a name to concider. :3

Originally Posted by Aaron008R

[Ackbar]IT'S A TRAP!!![/Ackbar]


In any case, Uomo is indeed rebuilt quite well. The new pic is convincingly TRAPtastic.

And I must agree with Tormenk. The part about looks like a girl but has no qualms dressing up as a guy had me, “Huh?! Whut?!”

Which is one of the parts that give people headaches. He looks like a girl, dresses like a boy, acts either way... GAAAH! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU!?

Originally Posted by Aaron008R

Of all the details, I want to know the part about how he sought interactions with Subaru and Ginga. His fighting style is quite fitting. And I guess I’ll have to familiarize myself with some of the references later. ()

They already knew eachother from the labs, so they simply remained in contact though letters.

As for references, Uomo only has two references, the first being Tachibana Saki of Snow Sakura, of whom his apearance has been taken, as well as parts of his personallity. The second is Han Solo, of whom the idea of his Barrier Jacket, IS, and other parts of his personallity are inspired.

Originally Posted by Aaron008R

Good work.

Thank you.