(L) Arpeggio of Blue Steel (Aoki Hagane no Arpeggio)

[shmaster]

I think what Cosmic Eagle is saying that Japanese omits the use of pronoun in a lot of places.
And the amount of the pronoun use there might be unusual.

[Tim yy]

Originally Posted by shmaster

I think what Cosmic Eagle is saying that Japanese omits the use of pronoun in a lot of places.
And the amount of the pronoun use there might be unusual.

en, if so, what is she suggesting? Is it about future translations?
I think my goal is accomplished, now we've all caught up on the manga, ak scans will continue the scanlation and the anime out as well.

[Cosmic Eagle]

I'm just looking for double confirmation if the chinese version and the original are in sync

[MrTerrorist]

Thanks for chapter 48.
I wonder if the maid ship Repulse might get involved?

[Tim yy]

Originally Posted by Cosmic Eagle

I'm just looking for double confirmation if the chinese version and the original are in sync

For those who read the Chinese scanlation will instantly know it's well translated.
Unlike us, they have a full crew of editors and contributors. I have seen them editing phrase by phrase multiple times just to get the most appropriate wordings. They are competent enough to accurately translate Japanese local dialects and those strange honorifics.
The previous English translator /a/anonymous did a great job too. I have no problem sync his translation with the Chinese/Japanese versions. His words are concise and was able to retain the flavour and texture presented in the original language. He too did a lot of paraphrasing that just made the manga flow better.
If we were to do another translation, (for fans' sake) we need to be sure that not only the words are translated, but also the context. We also need try our best to be consistent with previous chapters, and be accurate as to what the manga is presenting, so we don't mislead the readers.

Example:
My version says: 401 was held at a standstill by Kongo's fleet for 3 hours (we are in a standstill for three hours now)
Your version says: It's going to take another 3 hours before facing (Kongo?) (3 hours before we come face to face)
~from the previous chapter we know that 401 was supposed to rendezvous with Hakugie in an hour and half
It might be a simple line at first, but the meaning was vastly different by comparing our translations.

[Cosmic Eagle]

Exactly what I mean.

The first line was oversight on my part but there's also plenty of added/omitted stuff in your version.

example

群像からあのプランを聞いた時はお前達を抱えているとは言え

私は私に戻るだけだと思っていたが

私も落ち着きません...群像と別れたのはあなたと群像が

二人だけで学園を後にした時以来ですよ

...そうか

今回ヒュウガからの提案が有ったとは言え

compared with your

Iona: when I heard that “plan” from Gunzo, I really want to grab hold of him and ask…
Iona: I’m I…I’m I really going to return to my old self
Sōu: It’s never racking for me as well. This is the first time you separated from him after the days at the academy, right?
Iona: perhaps…although Hyuga is one of the contributors this time …


It doesn't mention grabbing hold of Gunzou and it's more like her saying "I thought" rather than stammering in uncertainty

and for

私はなにか装備を潰さないとダメね

you said

I on the other hand was hit all over the place…

That doesn't fit at all.

Your subsequent line also misses out that her retreat to a Fog base is temporary only.

and there's also

あなた人間の肩を持つわけ？！

It means "you would side with humans?!"

Not ["I have the same appearance as them?" what do you mean by that?]

firstly there's not even the mention of appearance there at all.

and this line

むしろ反逆者は「プリンズ．オブ．ウェールス」達よ

我々は「アドミラティ．コード」に従っているのですもの

you said: Pity they don't consider Prince of Wales as the traitor. While I took the blame for being loyal to the "Admiralty Code"

It's more like saying rather, the traitors are Prince of Wales and co, not us who are still loyal to the AC.

There's no mention of "pity~while I took the blame" The nuance is quite different in your one

[Shinon]

is it monthly or weekly manga?

[Myssa Rei]

Arpeggio is monthly.

[MrTerrorist]

Arpeggio of Blue Steel wikia

[Tim yy]

Originally Posted by Cosmic Eagle

Exactly what I mean.

The first line was oversight on my part but there's also plenty of added/omitted stuff in your version.

Correct, my problem is that I used a lot of paraphrasing because for some instances they are my own interpenetration of the dialogue.
None of it (at least I hope) misled the readers to think something else happened (or going to happen) in the manga.

I'm going to put my full reply in a spoiler so it doesn't take so much forum space. I appreciate the things you pointed out so I too will write some feedbacks

Spoiler for my reply:

If I were to translate everything word by word from the language (Chinese) without paraphrasing, dialogue will become very wordy and redundant

Page 5 Iona has two panel spaces for her dialogue
1. When I hard the "plan" from Gunzo, I wanted to grab-hold (or stop) of you guys and ask.....
"从群像听到那个[计划]时，真想抓着你们说..."
2. "..would I return to my old self?" that was how I thought
"我 会变回以前的自己么？" 我是着样想的
both Japanese and Chinese versions clearly implied the same thing

your version here has
1." heard the plans from Gunzo... when I was carrying you all "
2. I thought I would simply return to being myself but..."
the dialogue sounded kind of incomplete, which made me wonder is that how it really was in Japanese?

For 私はなにか装備を潰さないとダメね
my version reads 我没有什么完好的装备了呢 which translate to "I really don't have any equipment that's still intact"
I chose to put "I on the other hand was hit all over the place…" just to make it clear for readers that Repulse is comparing her ship's condition to that of Vampires'

For here,
むしろ反逆者は「プリンズ．オブ．ウェールス」達よ
我々は「アドミラティ．コード」に従っているのですもの
It's exactly like how your translation had worded it (even in Chinese)
"the traitor should be [Prince and co]"
"I'm a loyal follower of the AC"
I just think I went overboard here when I did the translation (by adding some "feelings to Repulse's words"), but the context is still more or less the same.

for あなた人間の肩を持つわけ？！ This is where probably we can have a debate about the rare inconsistencies b/w the two language. (I probably will lose too)
in Chinese it's "你不就是个人类的样子么?!" ~ "don't you have the looks of a human?!"
which is very witty for Vampire to say that reminded Repulse even she doesn't understand humans yet she still got the human look

I don't think it matters whether or not Repulse thought about retreating back to Fog Port just temporarily (in my language only says 回海港一趟 "going back to port once"
I put "Repulse: maybe it's better for me to return to the port of the Fog."
-------------------------------------------------

Here are somethings I find confusing about your version
on the linked page 7 - 8, there is a small panel that's continuation from the previous page before the huge transition.
your translation: "My predicted course of action henceforth is something that will forever rank us as second place"
When I read it I wondered, ranked second place to???? is Sou saying it's a "second rated (bad) plan?"
In Chinese says "这种超忽我想象的行动，只有那位"万年第二"才想的出来" "This "unthinkable (ridiculous) plan, only that "forever number 2" can come up with"
It's a perfect conclusion from Sou/Iona, who are mocking this daring/ridiculous operation that Gunzo came up. "forever number 2" was a nickname given to Gunzo as he's deemed to be forever "ranked behind Kotono" (it's also written on Iona's shirt in this chapter).

Page 17
here is how you translated Repulse's sentence:
"Such a thing...even I understand not to come into contact with humans"
maybe it's your choice of words, but just reading it sounded like repulse is saying "humans are enemies (?), even I know we should stay away.."
this isn't exactly consistent with her previous sentence "From humanity's point of view, we are the enemy..." and her indecisiveness later when it comes to Humans

Page 19
again in one of Repulse's dialogue you put "Ma...that may be so but if we are slow, Prince of Wales and her compatriots may return"
I think it's Vampire who suggested it " to get out of here fast.." after Repulse asked her "what shall we do next? or "let's quickly decide our next move?" (again this is how it's worded in the chinese version)
We are supposed to find out what Vampire said through Repulse's after-response, I have no clue here what vampire suggested after reading "Ma...that may be so but..." I can only assume she suggested some thing that's "gonna take a while to do" so Repulse has to be the one reminding her "to get out of here fast before Prince comes back".

If you read all that, I'm sure you needed a rest, let's leave this chapter as it is and tell me what your suggestions are for the next chapter?

[AC-Phoenix]

I don't know if anyone already said it, but has anyone noticed that none of the ships we saw until now are still active?
In fact, almost all of them have been sunken or scrapped by now.

You could say that they just named the ships after them now but the entire thing goes a bit further:

One of the ships (I think it was even Yamato) said that they might have been active in the past.
All the hsips look pretty much 1:1 to their originals.

The other strange thing there is is more story based... Why not just drop a few nukes on them?
Even normal projectiles hurt their shields so a Nuke ot two should do the trick oO

[Tim yy]

Originally Posted by AC-Phoenix

I don't know if anyone already said it, but has anyone noticed that none of the ships we saw until now are still active?
In fact, almost all of them have been sunken or scrapped by now.

You could say that they just named the ships after them now but the entire thing goes a bit further:

One of the ships (I think it was even Yamato) said that they might have been active in the past.
All the hsips look pretty much 1:1 to their originals.

The other strange thing there is is more story based... Why not just drop a few nukes on them?
Even normal projectiles hurt their shields so a Nuke ot two should do the trick oO

All ship of the Fog are in the form of "old era" battleships from WWII (maybe even old WWI ships), but on the inside, their "black box" technology is vastly different from any standard human weaponry.
still a big mystery how they are "re-activated by Yamato or AC", recent "code book" offered a glimpse of the history of Fog "from 1944-current?" After reading that I was so puzzled that I don't even know how to discuss it here ><

"so many ppl wondered what happens if you NUKE the fog ships...." I'll leave that to people's imaginations. or someone might be an expert that can compare for us the the magnitude of destruction for a weapon that can "bend space" to a "fusion/fission nuclear weapon".

[blitz1/2]

u think that the non-existent A-150s will make an appearance?

[Tim yy]

We've yet to see any of the famous and powerful ships of the North America fleet like USS Iowa and USS Midway.

It will be scary but not impossible If Musashi becomes the final villain and gets an upgrade to the A-150, she's already getting upgrades

[RRW]

Originally Posted by AC-Phoenix

I don't know if anyone already said it, but has anyone noticed that none of the ships we saw until now are still active?
In fact, almost all of them have been sunken or scrapped by now.

of course. we talking about WW2 era ship here

[AC-Phoenix]

Originally Posted by RRW

of course. we talking about WW2 era ship here

TbH I had to look all but the Yamato, Biscmarc and Musashi up, to confirm my suspicion that all of them are relics from the past.
I also only got the idea to do this when Yamato hinted that she may have been on the ocean in the past, before that the possibility that she was just named after an old ship was too high to actually think about the ship names.

Originally Posted by Tim yy

"so many ppl wondered what happens if you NUKE the fog ships...." I'll leave that to people's imaginations. or someone might be an expert that can compare for us the the magnitude of destruction for a weapon that can "bend space" to a "fusion/fission nuclear weapon".

Well the trick is apparently to get the Klein field down, and a Nuke should put a lot of strain on it.

[Tusjecht]

Tim yy: I'm a fairly experienced Chinese translator as well, I'm up for any second opinions.

[Tim yy]

Originally Posted by Tusjecht

Tim yy: I'm a fairly experienced Chinese translator as well, I'm up for any second opinions.

....I'd love to work as a team, i'm adding you as a friend

[Tenzen12]

Originally Posted by AC-Phoenix

Well the trick is apparently to get the Klein field down, and a Nuke should put a lot of strain on it.

Let's get technical. When you run Thanatonium nuclear reaction it release strong gravitaion waves. We know that this principle is used in "heavy gravitational cannons and corrossive torpedoss. Now question: Why does explosion of C-torpedos appear to be pitch black in first phase even though it contain enormous amount of energy? (hint: Gravitation).

Nukes power is laughable in comparisson of these weapons.

[AC-Phoenix]

Originally Posted by Tenzen12

Let's get technical. When you run Thanatonium nuclear reaction it release strong gravitaion waves. We know that this principle is used in "heavy gravitational cannons and corrossive torpedoss. Now question: Why does explosion of C-torpedos appear to be pitch black in first phase even though it contain enormous amount of energy? (hint: Gravitation).

Nukes power is laughable in comparisson of these weapons.

Whether it is laughable in comparison doesn't really matter as long as it can get the field down.

It really comes down to how much we can trust the anime though: If its posisble to get the Klein field down with enough constant fire from normal ship cannons then a Nuke would use up most of its resistance after the first shot.
We got a hint to the anime being right with this in the Manga btw: After humanity's last standoff we see a damaged Yamato

It also depends on what Kind of Nuke you use.
A Tsar (50 Megatons yield) would certainly shred even Yamato with a single shot. The problem with a tsar would be getting it to her before it gets shot down though.