Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha Character Creation and Discussion (second reincarnation)

[Comartemis]

Originally Posted by Keroko

Before we dive into that, I want to scroll up a bit and ask a question: How important to the overal plot is to to have the TSAB involved in this experiment? The guys that experimented on Agito, for example, were not related to the TSAB. Having this Regius-ish guy connected to them is... well, more info is needed on this. For personal curiosity, really.

Mostly a matter of convenience. We already know that the brains have no qualms with doing or at least allowing morally reprehensible stuff, but the important part is how the follow-up investigation reveals the scientist's connections to an incomprehensibly huge criminal syndicate, which serves as the major enemy in the timeskip and post-StrikerS; picture Nanoha's version of Black Sun and you've got the basic picture. The idea was that the brains would use that connection as a red herring to divert attention away from the bureau, since everyone would much rather assume that this syndicate had something to do with it rather than there being corruption in the bureau.

Also, having the lab be a part of the bureau and the Main Branch gives Hayate an excuse to be out there at just the right time for her to meet up with this new character on relatively friendly circumstances (I say relatively because the device needs to be subdued and then convinced that Hayate's not involved with the mage's captors). It also allows her to show off how deshafted she's been in this timeline by taking this device down single-handedly, something she could never have pulled off in canon.

[Keroko]

So this Regius-ish guy would be the Xizor of the Nanohaverse? Wouldn't it make more sense then to have him be the leader, and the organisation to take on a partnership role to the TSAB similar to the Black Sun had with the Empire? That also makes it easier for the Brains to cut all connections. It's kinda tricky to explain you have no connections when the subjects are found in one of your own labs, after all. Also makes it a lot harder for Hayate to convince this girl she's one of the good guys too.

[Comartemis]

Wouldn't it make more sense then to have him be the leader, and the organisation to take on a partnership role to the TSAB similar to the Black Sun had with the Empire?

Okay, this I can definitely see happening, with the Xizor figure serving/using-as-pawns the TSAB high council. The Admirals and Regius would know nothing about him or his connections to the Bureau, all research and development would take place in labs not endorsed by the TSAB and we can have all the mad scientists we like without bringing into question the TSAB's hiring policies. If we set aside the Regius clone's connection to the Main Branch and make him the leader it gets even easier.

That also makes it easier for the Brains to cut all connections.

That it does.

Also makes it a lot harder for Hayate to convince this girl she's one of the good guys too.

Depends on what her original personality was like. For the record, this idea started off as a port of Dizzy from Guilty Gear, so if the personality stayed the same there it wouldn't be hard at all to convince her of Hayate's trustworthiness. Now she's started to turn into a sort of Rei Ayanami/Dizzy hybrid with a personality different from either of them. She's still got the wings and tail though, thanks to her being stuck in a permanent unison with her device (Necro!).

[ghazghkull]

Hey Keroko, I'm just curious, but your timeline, Keroko left Rouge Squadron and transfered over to RF6, but continues to bear the Squadron's emblem on her uniform.

Now my question is, what kind of circumstances would Keroko ask for a transfer back into her old unit, and whereabouts in was the squadron posted? Near the RF6 base? Or is it ways away, but located on Mid-Childa?

[krisslanza]

Originally Posted by Keroko

Hmm *rewatches scene* you know... now I'm not sure myself. We don't see any shields apearing before the things hit, but after the smoke clears we do get to see a small flash of a magic circle...

I think she blocked the last stages of the attack but she had to tank the rest of the attack. Hence how come she's all beat up after it.

[Keroko]

Originally Posted by ghazghkull

Hey Keroko, I'm just curious, but your timeline, Keroko left Rouge Squadron and transfered over to RF6, but continues to bear the Squadron's emblem on her uniform.

Now my question is, what kind of circumstances would Keroko ask for a transfer back into her old unit, and whereabouts in was the squadron posted? Near the RF6 base? Or is it ways away, but located on Mid-Childa?

Actually, rogue Squadron is currently subject to Rebuilt. With the revelations of what exactly SAFA was not too long ago, I;m not quite sure if the Squadron will still be the same after I Rebuilt it. Would you mind if I hold you on that question untill I finalize it?

Originally Posted by krisslanza

I think she blocked the last stages of the attack but she had to tank the rest of the attack. Hence how come she's all beat up after it.

Actually, Nanoha didn't have so much as a scratch on her body. Even her Barrier Jacket was still intact, minus the ribbon that suffered a bit of damage earlier on in the battle.

[Evangelion Xgouki]

Originally Posted by Keroko

Actually, Nanoha didn't have so much as a scratch on her body. Even her Barrier Jacket was still intact, minus the ribbon that suffered a bit of damage earlier on in the battle.

I've always thought that she managed to dispel the bindings (which she learned from Yuuno in the SoundStages I believe) enough to put up a barrier which barely managed to withstand the attack (thus the crackling of energy and flickering orb on RH as well as the Mid circle under her). Not to mention, as Keroko said, her BJ was basically unharmed except for hte 'static' of residual magic in the air.

[Tk3997]

Originally Posted by Tormenk

Vita and Felix takes the cake again, and no the cake isn't a lie.

That meme is getting really old. Glad you liked it though.

Shafted Atuwe and Pixy..being Pixy was fun too.

Pixy has quickly become one of my favorite characters to write about even if he has mutated from his origins a fair bit. There's just something fun about writing for a character who really dosen't care anymore and just takes everything that comes at him in stride. Unfortunately we won't really get to see the slightly madder Pixy that comes out during serious combat for quite some time.

Felix's pep talk had me grinning. The new duo certainly's getting their share of ribbing from him there.

It took him almost 20 years to reach his current position as a balanced top tier fighter and by god after all that work it's his prerogative, no RIGHT to talk smack to those just starting out.

Besides that the feel of each environment of the characters were in was well set-up throughout. Or rather, setting up the 'mood' if you will. Kou's lousy mood due to the downpour was acutely felt as was the other scenes. Came through well for battle too.

*TK isn't quite sure what this all means, but it seems to be praise...* Um thanks, yes I clearly did this on purpose glad you noticed!

Originally Posted by PhoenixFlare

Wha-? USODA!

They be missing a lot of helps from those games, then.

I still say they just need to cruise around awhile to find the right earth, or find the write Psychic Scribe. (a power from my crack verse were in someone is bizarrely attuned to events in another universe and subconsciously compelled to spread them...) Basically a baldfaced excuse to allow and explain crossovers with universes that make meta-fictional references.

*flails in ice*

Come save me, quick!

I told you to pack a a coat you twit!

To be honest ... no.

Ahh well needless to say the male leads in those tend to show a profound lack of common sense around the female cast even if they're otherwise reasonably competent away from them.

Yep, you said it loud and clear. Though, with Vita around, he seems to mellow quite a lot ...

More like fifteen years of living a reasonably normal life around someone of fairly upstanding morales has mellowed him out. Acutally he'd settled into a pattern of behavior similair to his current one after about five, but as said during the war proper and to some extent just after it... not a nice fellow at all.

This gave me quite a laugh!

It just sort of popped into my head spontaneously glad you liked it and it'll probably reappear in a later chapter.

So, when he's mean, he cares, eh?

Yeah sure let's go with that...

That means ... he cares A LOT for Vita.

I wouldn't say that within ear shot of him... or her for that that matter.

What in the world just struck Kha?!

Who knows... he's been acting weird lately. Well weirder.

The only thing missing from this chapter is ... THE NEXT SCENE!

YES.

Well, well, it seems that we have the Return of the Drones. And they seemed rigged up a little better than their predecessors.

I wanted them to be marginally more threatening since the overall power level of my planned cast is slightly higher (at least at the lower end). These are really just slightly upgraded models though more refined and improved examples are likely to appear as thing progress along with other foes. As I said drones make such lovely cannon fodder mooks...

Felix seems to be in a lurch right now, confounded by illusions and jams. Miller and Keller (whoa, they rhyme ) took out their batch of Drones with aplomb, though the devastation it entailed ...

Yeah… Miller profile has been delayed to hell, but he’s acutally a demolitions and explosives expert whose main magic powers revolve around making things explode: spectacularly.

Anyway ... do I smell electronic countermeasure wars coming up?

Not really the good guys are going for more of a... hard kill countermeasure in this case.

[AdmiralTigerclaw]

Something just hit me as I pulled into my driveway a minute ago...

Well actually, the radio did it. I was listening to a hard rock station when they started rocking after commercials. It was familliar and suddenly I realized what song it was...

And now I have an even better song for the ultra epic Admiral Lindy vs Daedalus Malandra fight:

http://search.playlist.com/tracks/master%20of%20puppets


"MASTER OF PUPPETS I'M PULLING THE STRINGS!"

Seems right for a guy who's been 'pulling the strings' behind the scenes.

[Tk3997]

Originally Posted by Liingo

It's been at least a year since I first posted my characters in the thread, but in light of information discovered since then, I'm currently in the process of rebuilding my entire cast. Creating a new branch for my OC's is just the first step towards doing this and more will be done as I get the time to do so. Pretty much just bear with me until this is complete (Might take a while so I'm apologising in advance )

If you see any problems with anything or would like to suggest something, please comment on it and I'll get to it when I can. Also the info for EU85 (the designation for pretty much all my OC's) is still not fully complete, so I'll be updating this post as time goes on.

-Liingo

Not the most imaginative name but...

Introducing the Naval Support Offfice

Spoiler for Naval Support Office:

snip

Spoiler for Selection and Training:

snip

EU85
EU85 was set up in MC0059-MC0060 due to expansion of the administrated areas, meaning that the ships of the fleet were forced to cover a greater area, stretching their already thin resources. EU85 would be the 5th of such new additional units sent to training within 2 years and within 3 years of their initial deployment, the number of units had swelled to 90. Initial selection occurred during September (9th) of 0059, with the final members decided by February (2nd) the next year. The 85th finished training with a squad size of 10 members, all hovering around A rank, with one possessing AA power, but lacking the skill to utilise the power efficiently.

Reforms introduced by command (mage rank caps, etc.) in the late 60’s meant that many of the units within the NSO, EU85 included were suddenly above the limits prescribed by HQ. To counter this threat to their ability to function, many just rebranded the subgroups present in each unit as separate squads (Spellweavers and Spellhunters).

Just recently in MC0075, a new squad has been added to the unit’s rosters, the Spellblades and are currently still in training.

Current Status (EU85):
-Squad 1: Spellweavers (Enforcer Support Operations)
-Squad 2: Spellhunters (General Support Operations)
-Squad 3: Spellblades (Training)

Interesting I can definitely see such a thing existing especially in the Navy I see some parallels to what I’d planned for my own Air Force Special Operations branch though in your guys case the brass apparently endorsed the project where as in mine it was set up as lip service then largely shafted resulting in a fairly weak command for most of it’s existence.

I myself wouldn’t compare them to the SAFA though and the link seems tenuous to me the missions are very different IMO SAFA are IMO basiclly the Nanoha version of the USAF 57th Wing. While what you’re proposing here looks rather more like Navy SEALs.

[Comartemis]

...I just had what may be the craziest yet potentially workable idea in my entire time as a Cadian.

We know for certain that the bureau hires mages to do their dirty work as Contract Mages... well what about privateers? Contract Mages who also happen to be the captains of their own ships, from cargo haulers and cruise ships all the way up to battleships and dreadnaughts. The crew don't necessarily have to be contract mages too, since they're working for the captain.

Imagine this: The Belkan Empire falls and all of known dimension space suddenly goes completely nuts, with pretty much every world at every other world's throat. In the power vacuum left by the Belkans, hundreds of renegades and pirate groups spring up all over the place, sometimes operating alone, sometimes operating in groups or even whole fleets led by "Pirate Kings", who prowl the spaces between worlds much like real pirates did on the open seas.

Into this mess comes the newly-formed TSAB, a coalition of worlds who are just plain sick and tired of the endless war. Early in the bureau's existence, one of the founders manages to strike a deal with one of the pirate kings, offering to pay them to prey on the shipping of worlds who insist on picking on the bureau's member worlds. As time goes on and more and more worlds join the bureau (perhaps under threat of intensive pirating), more and more pirates and freelancers are offered these deals while the bureau's navy grows at a steady rate. Around MC 017, the bureau's growth spurt ends and the privateers are assigned jobs to prey on those pirates who haven't gotten the hint.

At some point after this, the privateers are organized into a loose fleet under the command of one of the Three Great Admirals, at which point they experience a sudden transition from pirates into the single largest group of contract mages in the bureau's history. Those who don't like this go back to their old ways and are often hunted down by their former colleagues at some point in the future. Some ships in this fleet are incorporated into the bureau's planetary defense network, while others are used as patrol ships and the like. The sudden lack of targets to plunder is compensated for with a huge increase in pay, up to the standard of enlisted TSA mages times the number of crewmen on a captain's ship.

As the bureau consolidates its' power and transforms into the well-armed and organized force we see today, defense of the core planets becomes a job almost exclusively granted to warships of the Main Branch, while the privateers are relegated to patrols of the outer rim and hunting down other pirates and basically doing what the fleet's admiral tells them to. The captains and the pirates are pretty much cool with this, because the man in charge is a guy who pretty much everyone in the fleet has a great deal of respect for, one Admiral Jack Spar--

*Is shot*

[Wild Goose]

*me plays Yoko Kanno's Big Boys as Comartemis is riddled with VF-25S Armored gunpod shells and Itano Circus*

[Comartemis]

Seriously though, crack aside, how plausible does it sound?

[AdmiralTigerclaw]

Originally Posted by Comartemis

Seriously though, crack aside, how plausible does it sound?

Ready my flagship.

[Kha]

Lawl Comar, if only I didn't make the Midchilda like Americanz but ol Britainnia, if only they were Britainnia.

Then again, I liked the game Privateer, maybe just small time contract mages who were once pirates. I mean, what you're proposing is essentially a contract mage niche. We can have Jack Sparrow whos a contract mage, and his task is to hunt pirates...

...though wouldn't that be character assassination on Jack's side?

And that task force would be yet another sub-department of the SOPCC...

Just some random thoughts for now. I don't see a special need for this department, after looking past the Khrack. And plz don't bring Jack (or any of Johnny Depp's roles except The Barber of Baker Street) here too soon, Anita's pretty rabid in Fangirl Mode...

[Comartemis]

No, there's no special need for a bunch of pirates running around and working for the bureau, but the TSA's pretty much stuck with them. If they cut them loose they'll just go right back to raping and pillaging the dimensional highways and making an arseload of work for the bureau to clean up, and it'll be the bureau's own fault for letting them go in the first place. Much easier to keep them around and let them fill in the holes in the bureau's coverage patterns; you can never have too many ships, after all.

[Liingo]

Originally Posted by Keroko

So this is like the Navy's AAS or SAFA? Nice, can't see any glaring issues on a first glance, so this has the green light as far as I'm concerned.

Sought of, but what they do isn't anywhere near what the AAS/SAFA does. I think about the only thing in common really is that they're squads of 'elite' mages. *makes note to try and think of a better analogy*

Originally Posted by Tk3997

Interesting I can definitely see such a thing existing especially in the Navy I see some parallels to what I’d planned for my own Air Force Special Operations branch though in your guys case the brass apparently endorsed the project where as in mine it was set up as lip service then largely shafted resulting in a fairly weak command for most of it’s existence.

I myself wouldn’t compare them to the SAFA though and the link seems tenuous to me the missions are very different IMO SAFA are IMO basiclly the Nanoha version of the USAF 57th Wing. While what you’re proposing here looks rather more like Navy SEALs.

The way I saw it was that prior to this, the enforcers had been basically rocking up at ships/ bases and pretty much borrowing what troops they could get for some backup. Over the course of a few missions, they would have a list of people who they knew would do the job well, but since they're still naval personnel, getting hold of them at various times was a pain in the ass. The enforcers kicked up a fuss over this and the brass relented to a degree (pissing off some of your best mages isn't the best thing to do), allowing them to place their handpicked lists into a new department, but leaving the red tape in place such that for the first 10 years or so, any new units were pretty much created from the 'dregs' of the navy. Even with this, they were still understaffed and had to do a lot of the admin work by themselves, which meant that overall they were only slightly better off than they were before all of this.

I'll keep that analogy with the seals in mind. Like I said to Keroko above, there's really not much in common apart from the whole 'elite' mages thing.

Originally Posted by Comartemis

No, there's no special need for a bunch of pirates running around and working for the bureau, but the TSA's pretty much stuck with them. If they cut them loose they'll just go right back to raping and pillaging the dimensional highways and making an arseload of work for the bureau to clean up, and it'll be the bureau's own fault for letting them go in the first place. Much easier to keep them around and let them fill in the holes in the bureau's coverage patterns; you can never have too many ships, after all.

I can't see too many problems with this.. Although I'd like to know where all the money came from to fund all of this.

[Comartemis]

I can't see too many problems with this.. Although I'd like to know where all the money came from to fund all of this.

At first the pirates funded pretty much everything on their own; they looted the ships the bureau told them to, they got to keep the plunder, and the bureau paid them a nice little bonus on the side. As the bureau became more and more financially stable, it could afford to do this with a larger and larger privateer fleet. By the time the pirates weren't getting much loot out of their targets anymore, the Main Branch was well-off enough to be able to start compensating them for expenses like they do with their regular ships, and pay the crews instead of just giving them a bonus. At this point they may as well be straight-up contract mages; it's the history and the methods by which they are brought into the fleet that separate them from ordinary contract mages, who typically join up on an individual basis instead of in huge groups.

[Tk3997]

Originally Posted by Liingo

Sought of, but what they do isn't anywhere near what the AAS/SAFA does. I think about the only thing in common really is that they're squads of 'elite' mages. *makes note to try and think of a better analogy*

Yeah the connection seemed rather weak.

The way I saw it was that prior to this, the enforcers had been basically rocking up at ships/ bases and pretty much borrowing what troops they could get for some backup.

I know for myself I tended to assume that was often how it still worked at least in my fic... Though aspects of this could be incorporated as well. After all there won't always be time to go call the cavalry when things are developing quickly acutally I mentioned as much in my fic. *ponders some things a bit*

Over the course of a few missions, they would have a list of people who they knew would do the job well, but since they're still naval personnel, getting hold of them at various times was a pain in the ass. The enforcers kicked up a fuss over this and the brass relented to a degree (pissing off some of your best mages isn't the best thing to do), allowing them to place their handpicked lists into a new department, but leaving the red tape in place such that for the first 10 years or so, any new units were pretty much created from the 'dregs' of the navy. Even with this, they were still understaffed and had to do a lot of the admin work by themselves, which meant that overall they were only slightly better off than they were before all of this.

Well I know for my group in the Air Force they basiclly formed it to say "see we're doing Special Operations and stuff!" and then just totally shafted it. Mostly it was an excuse to get more money which they then siphoned off to other areas... Though it did have in common that it became a dumping ground for undesirable of various sorts. It didn't get over this nearly as quickly though in fact it's only really started to shape up in the last 15 years or so.

I'll keep that analogy with the seals in mind. Like I said to Keroko above, there's really not much in common apart from the whole 'elite' mages thing.

Acutally a military analogy might not even be best if we consider enforcers to be sort of FBI agents on steroids (not that far off IMO). The FBI maintains 56 SWAT/Tactical teams one for all its major field offices. They serve almost exactly this purpose providing muscle during higher risk operations or violent incidents without having to mess around trying to round up local law enforcement. Most of these teams are a few dozens men hovering around probably about 20 on average culled from FBI at large on a volunteer basis and given additional training.

[Keroko]

According to the creator, Enforcers are like the Inspectors in police.