2009-05-08, 20:13 | Link #21 | |
Emotionless White Face
Join Date: Feb 2008
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However, about myself, I must say that my family is more important than my friends. I don't hide it, and said it clearly lots of times. So when I have the choice to spend time with my family or my friends, I choose the former. I don't have a lot of a what I call "true friends" thought (I don't see some of my classmates as true friends even if I spend quite some time with them. At least I see a difference...) , but my friendship with most of them is strong. For instance, I have some friends there in Slovakia. I see them only a few times per year, and beside phone and letters, I don't interact with them a lot. But each time that I see them, the feeling is still the same. When people grow up, they have to face many responsibilities: A job, for some they get married and start a family, etc. So people can't spend as much time with their friends, and even family (sisters, brothers, parents) as they did in the past. So what you feel could also be linked to that lack of free time, maybe? |
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2009-05-08, 21:47 | Link #23 |
JONLIの憂'
Join Date: Apr 2004
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This is an interesting topic!
A lot of people that I know change their group of friends as they grow older. In my case I've been with two of my best friends ever since we were in kindergarten. We also have a REALLY tight group of friends ever since primary school. I'm a college student now, and we all ended up in different places around the world. America (me), Canada, UK, Hong Kong, Korea, China, Australia and Japan. But we always end up back together, it's like a magnet. I also feel like, if you're really close to a person (friendship-wise) you don't need to talk to them everyday. I talk to my best friends every freaking day, but it's like if we don't talk for a week they still know what's going on with me. |
2009-05-09, 15:40 | Link #24 | |
(。☉౪ ⊙。)
Author
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: In Maya world, where all is 3D and everything crashes
Age: 36
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As for my other highschool friends I found that those who graduated at the same year as me still hang out with me because the others sorta thought we didn't fit in their group anymore now that we went to other schools. Of about the 10 people that were great friends I now hang out with about 3-4 of them because we all went separate ways and do different things. There are however also people I used to hang out with in highschool then sorta forgot for 4 years and now we hang out again like good friends every week Friends come and go, people go separate ways, however in your life there will only be a handful of people that can be labeled as real close friends I found out that for the friends I lost after highschool I met a whole lot of new friends in return at the college I go to now and eventhough they will never get the same status as those friends back then, because they saved me from a dreadful situation and managed to make me acknowledge myself, be myself and stand up for myself, there will always be one or two people that I get quite close to. I'm in an all boys class so getting friends can be quite awkward cause it isn't like I can share girly subjects with them, but there are 2-3 people in my class that I would help out always because they are so kind and given what was funny though was that as a little kid I used to play with a girl on holiday each year, our neighbors went there and we would come over to drink coffee/tea and chat. then 10 years later I ended up in the same highschool and like a magnet we became good friends without realizing that we had always played together as kids, whens he came over to my house one day and she had gone home my mom realized this lol and the truth was uncovered XD |
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2009-05-09, 16:04 | Link #26 |
Hige
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: God only knows
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Half of my friends of elementary school are now farmers.
Half of my friends, i was with on my high school, no clue actually. In the last 4 years i have met other and more interesting people, i can hang out with. One expection: One friend, whos still a good friend, is from high school. But the rest.. No clue.
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2009-05-09, 16:57 | Link #27 |
I'll end it before April.
Join Date: Jul 2008
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Hum I think it's difficult to have a true friendship when we're young because we're not grown enough to understand the true meaning of friendship. Futhermore when you're young you're not fully build and your behavior change with the time before you become adult. But sometime, you will find true friend in elementary school who will always be your friend and I think this kind of friendship is the strongest one.
And friend are really precious. I always do a distinction between buddy and friend. You have many buddy but you only have a few friend.
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2009-05-10, 04:05 | Link #29 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
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The majority of my old schoolfriends who I used to keep in touch with have long gone and are no longer on the scene anymore I'm afraid to say, it's kinda upsetting but then, it's also one of the most natural things in life that happens as we grow up & get older
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2009-05-10, 06:29 | Link #30 | |
Senior Member
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i'm not a grown-up in the full sense of the word (but i work full time), but i think my value of friendship wont be going anywhere anytime soon. i still meet up with the one friend from school who lives far away. i'm lucky that the rest of my friends live in my neighborhood and we see each other almost every day.
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2009-05-10, 13:25 | Link #31 |
NYAAAAHAAANNNNN~
Join Date: Nov 2007
Age: 35
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I am not sure if 20 going onto 21 counts as an adult, but how one wants to define friendship is a personal onus.
I am a second generation conscript (which means my father was conscripted since national service started), and one thing he told me about army buddies is that they stay on for life. Most of my officers attest to that sentiment, maybe it is because going through shit together for 2-3 years forged a bond for the next 50-60 years to come. I never remembered any of my secondary school friends, and I am starting to forget most of my high school ones (other than a few of them). And it seems that those whom I want to hold near me are those which I choose to. After all, life is like a game of chess. You choose which piece to keep, and which piece to dispense. The reason to keep a choice can be as illogical as a sentimental one, after all, we are all human.
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2009-05-10, 16:57 | Link #34 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
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1) If you no longer share activities in common people just drift away, natural reaction. If you want to keep those friends you have to tend to it. You know how they say, the first step to having friends is to be a friend yourself. Not long ago a childhood friend came to my door just to say hi haven't seen you in a while we should phone and hang out etc. I meant to but still haven't, I'm ashamed.
2) People change. One of the guys I used to hang out all the time in my teen years recently ended up in jail for armed robbery, go figure... |
2009-05-12, 02:05 | Link #35 | |
Juanita/Kiteless
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: New England
Age: 40
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And then being a part of the work world reduces time for socializing, as well. Work is a factor, yes. Just try to make new friends and maybe even join some groups or clubs. You might not make too many new friends compared to the school days, but you might get lucky and make some new true friends. It will be different, though, as you can see. Socializing is different when you are an adult for most adults.
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2009-05-12, 12:40 | Link #36 |
Let's fighting love!
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Vault 27
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I still get a little bumbed and nostalgic when I think of my two best friends in highschool. We were an inseparable trio back then, now I hardly hear from them. One joined the Navy and moved to California, the other is still nearby but he’s far enough away to where visiting is a chore. He has a family to take care of so that’s understandable. Whenever I do see him though it’s like he reverts back to his highschool self which always makes me smile.
Other than that I have a good group of friends I’ve been hanging with for 8 or so years now, I met most of them through a church that another friend dragged me to. So Im thankful for that, none of us go to that church anymore though. It’s funny, you never know where you might make friends. |
2009-05-12, 13:31 | Link #38 |
HI, BILLY MAYS HERE
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I don't have the time to do anything anymore...Sure, I'll have the occasional break from my daily life in order to do stuff with my friends, but other than that, I don't ever seem to have the time to do anything I normally would've been able to do years ago, even more especially when it seems like I don't have the time for my own me time...
I think the keyword here is daily life... I'm going to college full-time during the fall/spring semesters and I have a part-time job on top of that and I do stuff on my own time too... Three of my cousins, who I used to hang out a lot with in the past, have similar stories...Three are currently engaged in a relationship, three are employed, two are full-time college students, and they all have their own personal stuff that they enjoy doing on their free time, with one employed full-time and another in a band...Every now and then, we'll get the time to do stuff together and hang out, though that's usually only with the case of our work schedules not overriding each other's personal schedules, and that only remotely works on the weekends... With an even more extreme case with some of my high school friends, we just went on completely different social paths and can't make contact at all anymore...Many went to colleges out of town, others went to colleges near here but not at the same college I'd be going to...That alone is enough to override any further problems that would keep us apart like work, relationships, or personal stuff; Can't get together if we can't see each other, now can we? Besides, back in high school, all we had was high school; No responsibilities, no jobs (For most of us, or at the very least, no full-time jobs and most sub-part-time), just carefree life...All the time in the world between school time to do whatever the hell we could with weekends guaranteed free... With co-workers, I consider many of them friends, but not nearly in the same way I would have considered my high school friends...High school was a constant schedule; Monday through Friday, 0740 to 1420...Work schedule is different, especially when you're working retail like I am; Everyone's scheduled on different days and different times, depending on availability and work needs...I don't know my work friends on the same deep level I used to know many of my high school friends because of that, and it doesn't help that I usually can't see them outside of work because of what I previously mentioned, with school and other personal stuff... On the other hand, I can always have time online to get in contact with old and current friends...When I was still on MySpace, I got in contact with many of my friends from high school that I hadn't talked to in a long time, and even got the chance to talk to some when I barely had any time to talk at all during our school days... But as far as real life contact, face-to-face? Hell no...I value friendships, but that no longer is something I can control when other things come calling for me...Adult life fucking sucks; It makes you busy...
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2009-05-12, 14:05 | Link #40 |
Ahou ga
Join Date: Feb 2009
Age: 47
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I am 32 years of age, happily married and have two wonderful children. I am deeply entrenched in "real life" as it were. In my childhood I befriended three guys who I went to school with all the way through high school and who I am still decently in contact with today, though I admit we don't see each other extremely often. Still, there's always Facebook these days.
Despite that, I don't count these three guys as friends. They are brothers to me as far as I am concerned. We have each been there for each other all the time. We have celebrated triumphs together and helped each other through tragedy as well. I would go to the mat for any of them on any given day and I know they would do the same for me. To hell with this notion that friendship can't/doesn't persist into adulthood.
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