Nanoha FanFiction Discussion

[Fuyu no Sora]

Originally Posted by Thesinwithin

-works on the next section of Undercover- I want to write more of Fate's side, but at the same time I wrote the last bit and it seems a bit rude for me to come in and write more, ne?

Claim is open. Why not write it while you have the chance? Trust me, inspiration won't be waiting for you always *Heavy sigh*

Speak of the devil and he shall appear: Page claim in the name of Mirrored Souls.

[TheShinySword]

Originally Posted by Thesinwithin

-works on the next section of Undercover- I want to write more of Fate's side, but at the same time I wrote the last bit and it seems a bit rude for me to come in and write more, ne?

go ahead and do it. I would but I can't do it til tomorrow.

[Dr_Tom]

Originally Posted by Thesinwithin

-works on the next section of Undercover- I want to write more of Fate's side, but at the same time I wrote the last bit and it seems a bit rude for me to come in and write more, ne?

I guess it would but I'm kind of behind on the collaborative story now so I'd have to play catchup before I could jump on and add some to it....so go ahead, no one else has laid claim and if you have an idea for go for it.

[Thesinwithin]

alright. Claim Fate.

Spoiler for oh noes battles! - Fate Side:

Fate arrived at the location that Hayate had given her in very short order. She was unused to flying with someone hanging onto her, but she didn't find it altogether unpleasant. It was Nanoha around her neck, after all, a young, impressionable little girl that would someday grow up to be the most important person in Fate's life. She hovered above the battle field and surveyed the damage. "Nanoha," she began. She didn't know if the girl understood how to take orders yet, but she had to risk the fact, as she needed to impress upon the little girl the reasons why they were fighting and how 'making friends' with their foes with large blast from Raising Heart was no way to win a battle on Mid-Childa. On top of the fact that they were going to have to explain to quite a few people when they were done with this battle why the Ace of Aces was suddenly nine years old and a full mage rank and a half less powerful. "We are going to be launching a two pronged attack. You are to stay behind me and cover my attack with whatever Raising Heart has to offer this battle without spending too much magical energy."

Nanoha nodded and let go of Fate, falling a few feet before Raising Heart's magical energy kicked in and activated Nanoha's flyer fin spell. Fate noticed that she still wobbled a little bit when she first activated the spell. Training with the TSAB had righted that problem for her Nanoha in a matter of hours, but this was not really the time to be thinking about that. Fate allowed Bardiche to load two cartridges before charging forward, and slashing downwards with her scythe at the first enemy mage she encountered.

He blocked her with a rather weak shield spell and Fate swung Bardiche around just in time to hit him on his recoil from blocking a single, pure white ball of magical energy - Divine Shooter - most likely in Five or Ten mode. Nanoha would not master Forty Bullet Mode for some time. Still, the moment of distraction, not to mention a two sided shield made it so that the first mage went down in a matter of seconds. Fate hit him with a high powered bind and then pushed forward toward the next mage.

Bardiche's scanners chirped and Nanoha's voice echoed in Fate's head, Be careful, Fate-chan, that one's stronger!

Fate frowned and set herself forward into battle once more.

-

They returned home that night to find Zaphira and Vivio waiting for them. With the latest scramble, it seemed as though Hayate had needed her apartment to herself, as Zaphira looked far more worried than Fate had seen him in a long time. Fate slipped off her shoes and set down the bag of clothes that she'd managed to buy for Nanoha before the battle by the door.

"Fate-mama!" Vivio shouted happily, jumping up from the kitchen table where she'd been coloring and running to hug her mother. Fate scooped her up into her arms and grinned at Vivio's bi-colored eyes. "Mama was gone for such a long time, Vivio was worried." She reached up and patted Fate's head with her small, and slightly sticky Fate soon realized, hand.

"Hello Vivio," Fate said, kissing Vivio on the cheek. "Did you have a good night with Hayate and the others?"

Vivio nodded enthusiastically and squirmed until Fate put her down once again. She peered around Fate's legs at Nanoha, who was taking off her shoes. "Why is Little Nanoha wearing my clothes?"

Fate laughed one of those high, fake laughs that she usually reserved for Nanoha's rather stupid bedroom antics at times, and shrugged. "Her clothes got dirty yesterday during the battle. You remember that I was late getting back? It was because I had to go looking for Little Nanoha after the fight."

Vivio nodded. She stood in front of Nanoha with her hands on her hips for a few long seconds before demanding, "Color with me."

Nanoha blinked. Fate-chan, what do I do? Her voice came desperately through their mental link.

Humor her, Fate laughed, The older you can't deny her anything, and she could use a friend right now. Fate didn't mention that she also could use someone to talk to.

"I'll start some dinner, alright you two?" She said, heading into the living room to find some clothes that were not her work uniform to change into. Zaphira followed her, padding silently across the floor. Fate frowned, and wondered if he had something he wanted to ask her about.

So if anyone wants to write some Zaphira-Fate, now would be a good time to jump in.

[markesellus]

Originally Posted by Thesinwithin

I vote yes on resolution to make an evil, older, Vivio the villain of this fic complete with evil Zaphira as her evil assistant.

Yes! I just think it's a really interesting idea to have an evil vivio.

Originally Posted by mercurianangel

*delurks*
So um...let's hypothetically say one was interested in uh...adding more pictures...?
Does this other Evil!Vivio have the same Belkan armor as StrikerS Vivio? And...how's her hair look?
teehee~
*hides again*

I like the picture! more hair!

Originally Posted by TheShinySword

awesome picture! I love Zaffy.

[markesellus]

Originally Posted by Thesinwithin

Spoiler for oh noes battles! - Fate Side:

Fate arrived at the location that Hayate had given her in very short order. She was unused to flying with someone hanging onto her, but she didn't find it altogether unpleasant. It was Nanoha around her neck, after all, a young, impressionable little girl that would someday grow up to be the most important person in Fate's life. She hovered above the battle field and surveyed the damage. "Nanoha," she began. She didn't know if the girl understood how to take orders yet, but she had to risk the fact, as she needed to impress upon the little girl the reasons why they were fighting and how 'making friends' with their foes with large blast from Raising Heart was no way to win a battle on Mid-Childa. On top of the fact that they were going to have to explain to quite a few people when they were done with this battle why the Ace of Aces was suddenly nine years old and a full mage rank and a half less powerful. "We are going to be launching a two pronged attack. You are to stay behind me and cover my attack with whatever Raising Heart has to offer this battle without spending too much magical energy."

Nanoha nodded and let go of Fate, falling a few feet before Raising Heart's magical energy kicked in and activated Nanoha's flyer fin spell. Fate noticed that she still wobbled a little bit when she first activated the spell. Training with the TSAB had righted that problem for her Nanoha in a matter of hours, but this was not really the time to be thinking about that. Fate allowed Bardiche to load two cartridges before charging forward, and slashing downwards with her scythe at the first enemy mage she encountered.

He blocked her with a rather weak shield spell and Fate swung Bardiche around just in time to hit him on his recoil from blocking a single, pure white ball of magical energy - Divine Shooter - most likely in Five or Ten mode. Nanoha would not master Forty Bullet Mode for some time. Still, the moment of distraction, not to mention a two sided shield made it so that the first mage went down in a matter of seconds. Fate hit him with a high powered bind and then pushed forward toward the next mage.

Bardiche's scanners chirped and Nanoha's voice echoed in Fate's head, Be careful, Fate-chan, that one's stronger!

Fate frowned and set herself forward into battle once more.

-

They returned home that night to find Zaphira and Vivio waiting for them. With the latest scramble, it seemed as though Hayate had needed her apartment to herself, as Zaphira looked far more worried than Fate had seen him in a long time. Fate slipped off her shoes and set down the bag of clothes that she'd managed to buy for Nanoha before the battle by the door.

"Fate-mama!" Vivio shouted happily, jumping up from the kitchen table where she'd been coloring and running to hug her mother. Fate scooped her up into her arms and grinned at Vivio's bi-colored eyes. "Mama was gone for such a long time, Vivio was worried." She reached up and patted Fate's head with her small, and slightly sticky Fate soon realized, hand.

"Hello Vivio," Fate said, kissing Vivio on the cheek. "Did you have a good night with Hayate and the others?"

Vivio nodded enthusiastically and squirmed until Fate put her down once again. She peered around Fate's legs at Nanoha, who was taking off her shoes. "Why is Little Nanoha wearing my clothes?"

Fate laughed one of those high, fake laughs that she usually reserved for Nanoha's rather stupid bedroom antics at times, and shrugged. "Her clothes got dirty yesterday during the battle. You remember that I was late getting back? It was because I had to go looking for Little Nanoha after the fight."

Vivio nodded. She stood in front of Nanoha with her hands on her hips for a few long seconds before demanding, "Color with me."

Nanoha blinked. Fate-chan, what do I do? Her voice came desperately through their mental link.

Humor her, Fate laughed, The older you can't deny her anything, and she could use a friend right now. Fate didn't mention that she also could use someone to talk to.

"I'll start some dinner, alright you two?" She said, heading into the living room to find some clothes that were not her work uniform to change into. Zaphira followed her, padding silently across the floor. Fate frowned, and wondered if he had something he wanted to ask her about.

Poor Vivio she misses Nanoha. Ah the first battle! at least after the switch. We are g9ing to need more Nanoha writers because if they are supposed to occur in the span of a week Fate's side is way ahead.

[Thesinwithin]

More Undercover for all of your enjoyment. I've been on a real fight scene kick recently. And there are Zombies. You all should go read it.

[Evil Rick]

Originally Posted by Thesinwithin

More Undercover for all of your enjoyment. I've been on a real fight scene kick recently. And there are Zombies. You all should go read it.

O.o ZOMBIES!!!

[Evil Rick]

I have decided to made it Drawed & Writted, both (That way it will not interfire too much with Rise of Techno Union) And now... The preview

Spoiler for Vatican Knights:

Evil has always been
It extends like a plague
Corrupting the hearts of men
Bound them to the darkness
And feest on their souls
For Generations
There have been those who has stood against it
A secret organization bound to protect human kind
They are the front line in a un-holy war
They are...

The Vatican Knights

[markesellus]

Originally Posted by Evil Rick

I have decuded to made it Drawed & Writted, both (That way it will not interfire too much with Rise of Techno Union) And now... The preview

Spoiler for Vatican Knights:

Evil has always been
It extends like a plague
Corrupting the hearts of men
Bound them to the darkness
And feest on their souls
For Generations
There have been those who has stood against it
A secret organization bound to protect human kind
They are the front line in a un-holy war
They are...

The Vatican Knights

Sounds intense! Can't wait!

[mercurianangel]

Originally Posted by TheShinySword

left(it doesn't really matter I just thought of that first) *thinks eyepatchs are awesome*

mmmm sorry it took long...had to finish some homework T_T

Spoiler for Eyepatch!Zafira:

DA Linky~

[Jimmy C]

Originally Posted by Thesinewithin

More Undercover for all of your enjoyment.

Nanoha's attack in the last scene should have been with Axel Shooter not Crossfire Shoot.

[ghazghkull]

Originally Posted by mercurianangel

mmmm sorry it took long...had to finish some homework T_T

Spoiler for Eyepatch!Zafira:

DA Linky~

now THAT picture is quite sexy :3

Good job XD *two thumbs WAY way up XD*

[Gillian]

Originally Posted by mercurianangel

*delurks*
So um...let's hypothetically say one was interested in uh...adding more pictures...?
Does this other Evil!Vivio have the same Belkan armor as StrikerS Vivio? And...how's her hair look?
teehee~
*hides again*

Originally Posted by mercurianangel

mmmm sorry it took long...had to finish some homework T_T

Spoiler for Eyepatch!Zafira:

DA Linky~

awesome pictures like always
thx mercurianangel

Originally Posted by Thesinwithin

More Undercover for all of your enjoyment. I've been on a real fight scene kick recently. And there are Zombies. You all should go read it.

nice chapter and well written
I'm curious how it will go along

[markesellus]

Originally Posted by mercurianangel

Spoiler for Eyepatch!Zafira:

DA Linky~

I really liked that picture. Your drawings are amazing...as always. Zafira looks awesome with an eyepatch.

[Advent000]

Originally Posted by Thesinwithin

More Undercover for all of your enjoyment. I've been on a real fight scene kick recently. And there are Zombies. You all should go read it.

Zombies, excelent.

I like the way your giving them difficulties fitting in, due to the fact that they've had to grow up fast.

But crossfire isnt one of Nanoha's spells.

[Gillian]

Originally Posted by Advent000

Zombies, excelent.

I like the way your giving them difficulties fitting in, due to the fact that they've had to grow up fast.

But crossfire isnt one of Nanoha's spells.

Yes, it is a spell from Nanoha.
She used it in SrikerS episode 8 to knock out Tea, without hurt her to much.

[Keroko]

Actually, it's Teana's spell, Nanoha merely copied it.

Nanoha's version is Axel Shooter.

[Krinen]

Originally Posted by Keroko

Actually, it's Teana's spell, Nanoha merely copied it.

Nanoha's version is Axel Shooter.

Wait, then why does the Crossfire she used on Tia, act completely different from her Axel Shooter?

Gah, these inconsistencies confuse everyone.

[Wild Goose]

Originally Posted by Krinen

Wait, then why does the Crossfire she used on Tia, act completely different from her Axel Shooter?

Gah, these inconsistencies confuse everyone.

...because Crossfire Shoot and Axel Shooter are two different spells, so of course they act differently.

Unless you mean "Why does Nanoha's Crossfire look different from Tia's."

Regarding acting differently... remember that despite copying spells, there doesn't seem to be a 100% copy of the spell in totality. Take Subaru's Divine Buster - she copied it from Nanoha, but it's fired in the same manner as Revolver Shoot. I'd think that Nanoha's version of Crossfire Shoot would act the same, and have the same results (adjusted for power and Beamspam), but it'd look quite similar her usual spells.

Think of it as a cook who cooks from another cook's recipe. Even though the end result and taste is the same, the look of the dish will still be different.