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Old 2010-07-19, 18:07   Link #26041
Megaolix
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Originally Posted by 00-Raiser View Post
Well, the obvious conclusion is that they'll have to have sex. I don't like that idea, but then again you never outright said it so you're probably just leading us on. They certainly didn't do that the first time with that green mist stuff so it might be something else. Maybe they just have to kiss ala the Absolute Angels from Kyoushiro to Towa no Sora/Shattered Angels.

We'll see...

BTW, what's Yersinia Kreuz?

Page claim for recharging mana
It's the name of Material-D's device.

And as much as it could lead us on, what else could 'seeds of new life' mean? Anyway, just be careful with that minefield, Nanya and Yasanagi. We would all hate to see this story ruined.
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Old 2010-07-19, 20:31   Link #26042
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Fine, here.

Spoiler for More Material Days:


No complaining.
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Old 2010-07-19, 20:44   Link #26043
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Originally Posted by Nanya01 View Post
Fine, here.

Spoiler for More Material Days:


No complaining.
No complaints here.

... Unless a poorly rendered CG dragon was involved!
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Old 2010-07-19, 20:54   Link #26044
Megaolix
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Originally Posted by Nanya01 View Post
Fine, here.

Spoiler for More Material Days:


No complaining.
No complaints here either.

Now... Just how chaotic are things at the TSAB after a few hours? And how long will Yuuno remain in the dark about it?
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Old 2010-07-20, 10:04   Link #26045
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To be honest, I think I ruined the story with that last snippet.

Of course, that's just me, personally.
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Old 2010-07-20, 10:43   Link #26046
Megaolix
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Originally Posted by Nanya01 View Post
To be honest, I think I ruined the story with that last snippet.

Of course, that's just me, personally.
Is it about the last snippet commented on or the deleted post?

If it's the former, well... I frankly see nothing wrong. But if you wanted to bring sex in that much, just do it later like you made Seikou say. Bringing that this soon would have potentially ruined it in my opinion.
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Old 2010-07-20, 15:05   Link #26047
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Originally Posted by 00-Raiser View Post
... Unless a poorly rendered CG dragon was involved!
....

But.... but I liked that dragon....
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Old 2010-07-20, 16:27   Link #26048
deathcurse
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Sorry to just drop in , I have an incredible backlog to go through ....

Well, I have a little short. About Hayate again (she's crept up my scale of favourite characters!), and her thoughts on the career she chose... And surprise, surprise, I actually wrote Yuuno for once!

Spoiler for What Could Have Been:

Spoiler for Author's Note:
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Old 2010-07-20, 17:39   Link #26049
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Quote:
Originally Posted by deathcurse View Post
Sorry to just drop in , I have an incredible backlog to go through ....

Well, I have a little short. About Hayate again (she's crept up my scale of favourite characters!), and her thoughts on the career she chose... And surprise, surprise, I actually wrote Yuuno for once!

Spoiler for What Could Have Been:

Spoiler for Author's Note:
Ho hum, do I spy some Yuuno/Hayate vibes, or have I forgotten to take off my shipper goggles? *shot repeatedly*

Lovely fic. Not only does it give us a good glimpse into Hayate's head and what she might have been thinking when she decided to take the position instead of fighting like Nanoha and Fate, but it also makes sense that Yuuno would be the one who talks sense into her. Not only are they similar in terms of what they chose to do, but Yuuno stands at a distance enough to see things that the girls themselves never notice even when it's running around butt naked in front of them.

....

Why does this revive my Yuunoha bunny?
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Old 2010-07-20, 18:00   Link #26050
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Quote:
Originally Posted by deathcurse View Post
Sorry to just drop in , I have an incredible backlog to go through ....

Well, I have a little short. About Hayate again (she's crept up my scale of favourite characters!), and her thoughts on the career she chose... And surprise, surprise, I actually wrote Yuuno for once!

Spoiler for What Could Have Been:

Spoiler for Author's Note:
Yeah, why DOES Yuuno get put on the bus all the time in your stories? Huh?! People wanna know!

When you're not in the best of moods, things come out wrong. And, well, I'm just glad that you posted something, always nice to see more from you.
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Last edited by Nanya01; 2010-07-20 at 19:28.
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Old 2010-07-20, 18:19   Link #26051
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Quote:
Originally Posted by deathcurse View Post
Sorry to just drop in , I have an incredible backlog to go through ....

Well, I have a little short. About Hayate again (she's crept up my scale of favourite characters!), and her thoughts on the career she chose... And surprise, surprise, I actually wrote Yuuno for once!

Spoiler for What Could Have Been:

Spoiler for Author's Note:
A really nice fic. It can work as Hayate/Yuuno or just a friendship fic comfortably. It's very appropriate seeing as how they're both major characters from previous seasons that are now stuck behind a desk. Gave them something to bond over, and the whole "listen to your own advice" bit worked very well. Another great fic from you, deathcurse! I definitely think you should write Yuuno more often!
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Old 2010-07-20, 18:47   Link #26052
Megaolix
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Quote:
Originally Posted by deathcurse View Post
Sorry to just drop in , I have an incredible backlog to go through ....

Well, I have a little short. About Hayate again (she's crept up my scale of favourite characters!), and her thoughts on the career she chose... And surprise, surprise, I actually wrote Yuuno for once!

Spoiler for What Could Have Been:

Spoiler for Author's Note:

Excellent short. More Yuuno is always good in my opinion. The chair irony also got me laughing.

Now that you're made that realization, does this mean you're going to add more Yuuno in your fics from now on?
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Old 2010-07-20, 19:20   Link #26053
isagrimorie
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Originally Posted by yuiseppe View Post
No no, I meant the sterility of OCs and CCs. Perfectly fine with inter-species cross breeding (hello elves, dwarves and halves!) :P



Thanks! The Wolkies never get enough love.



Oh you bet I'm saving up the irony



Hah! So you deny writing lemons...



Hmm, the 'voice in the head' plot device needs a little more exploration for it to be more than a hand wave I think.

Though speaking of handwaves, I was going to post the last 3 pages in one burst, but ... that will break my pace (or lack thereof).


-Before Dawn-


Spoiler for Page 10 (read right to left):


Previously:
Page 1
Page 2
Page 3
Page 4
Page 5
Page 6
Page 7
Page 8
Page 9

Speech bubbles are murder.
This is really fantastic, and holds special significance (in the previous page of this comic) since I recently watched Agito's flashback and she mentions waking-up in the lab and it really fits to what happened between Agito and Signum. Reinforce offering Signum was really poignant. You could see Reinforce was doing in out of kindness and to have that backfire on her and change when she was corrupted must be more than terrifying and heartbreaking.

Quote:
Originally Posted by deathcurse View Post
Sorry to just drop in , I have an incredible backlog to go through ....

Well, I have a little short. About Hayate again (she's crept up my scale of favourite characters!), and her thoughts on the career she chose... And surprise, surprise, I actually wrote Yuuno for once!

Spoiler for What Could Have Been:

Spoiler for Author's Note:
You can never go wrong with a Hayate story especially with bonus Yuuno. I like how they can talk to each other and how Yuuno knows to relate with the girls and there's something about Yuuno giving his support to Hayate I really like.
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Old 2010-07-21, 01:05   Link #26054
deathcurse
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
Ho hum, do I spy some Yuuno/Hayate vibes, or have I forgotten to take off my shipper goggles? *shot repeatedly*

Lovely fic. Not only does it give us a good glimpse into Hayate's head and what she might have been thinking when she decided to take the position instead of fighting like Nanoha and Fate, but it also makes sense that Yuuno would be the one who talks sense into her. Not only are they similar in terms of what they chose to do, but Yuuno stands at a distance enough to see things that the girls themselves never notice even when it's running around butt naked in front of them.

....

Why does this revive my Yuunoha bunny?
Thanks . It originally was going to just be Hayate's own thoughts, but then I wanted to have her speaking to someone and used Yuuno because he was more of a listener-type, then suddenly his own background just seeped into the story and make it half his tale! He's definitely the observer of the group.

Left the relationship ambiguous on purpose ..... However, I admit that I usually think of Yuuno as that great, safe guy who all the girls have as a best friend but not as a crush ...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nanya01 View Post
Yeah, why DOES Yuuno get put on the bus all the time in your stories? Huh?! People wanna know!

When you're not in the best of moods, things come out wrong. And, well, I'm just glad that you posted something, always nice to see more from you.
LOL! I confess, it's because I'm a NanoFate fan and yet I don't like seeing Yuuno's character being screwed over...so I stick him on a bus to avoid all that! Thanks, it's always amazing to get such kind reviews from everyone .

Quote:
Originally Posted by 00-Raiser View Post
A really nice fic. It can work as Hayate/Yuuno or just a friendship fic comfortably. It's very appropriate seeing as how they're both major characters from previous seasons that are now stuck behind a desk. Gave them something to bond over, and the whole "listen to your own advice" bit worked very well. Another great fic from you, deathcurse! I definitely think you should write Yuuno more often!
Yeah, I didn't notice how they're both "desk-ed" characters until I got near the end! I debated bringing in some more issues at the end, but it seemed a good place to cut it so I did . Hope it didn't feel abrupt!

And about writing more Yuuno....we'll see .

Quote:
Originally Posted by Megaolix View Post
Excellent short. More Yuuno is always good in my opinion. The chair irony also got me laughing.

Now that you're made that realization, does this mean you're going to add more Yuuno in your fics from now on?
Glad someone noticed the chair comment! That was the line that inspired this whole story .

Quote:
Originally Posted by isagrimorie View Post
You can never go wrong with a Hayate story especially with bonus Yuuno. I like how they can talk to each other and how Yuuno knows to relate with the girls and there's something about Yuuno giving his support to Hayate I really like.
It's interesting, I can't really see any of the girls confiding in each other (except maybe Fate to Nanoha) since I see them as worrying about worrying the others, and not wanting to be a burden. Something about Yuuno's character has always struck me as the kind of person who could be told a confidence and he'd either help them through it or simply support them, no worrying involved . I don't think Yuuno interacted much with Hayate in the actual series, so I had a bit more wiggle room there to write their interaction ^^.
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Old 2010-07-21, 09:55   Link #26055
Tabasco
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Originally Posted by Nanya01 View Post
To be honest, I think I ruined the story with that last snippet.

Of course, that's just me, personally.
Nonsense, it worked fine. The big reveal was a little quick, but the 'recharging' was no problem.

Quote:
Originally Posted by deathcurse View Post
Sorry to just drop in , I have an incredible backlog to go through ....

Well, I have a little short. About Hayate again (she's crept up my scale of favourite characters!), and her thoughts on the career she chose... And surprise, surprise, I actually wrote Yuuno for once!
Spoiler for What Could Have Been:


For as little attention as she gets, Hayate has an awful lot of fans (myself included) You'd think that would be reflected, but oh well.

Nice piece. The characters played well against each other, though if I remember correctly they never interact at all during StrikerS.
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Old 2010-07-21, 11:38   Link #26056
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Quote:
Originally Posted by deathcurse View Post
Sorry to just drop in , I have an incredible backlog to go through ....
man I know how you feel

Edit: Oh right forgot to mention, liked the piece too, Hayate stuff makes me happy.

Last edited by TheShinySword; 2010-07-21 at 11:54.
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Old 2010-07-21, 11:38   Link #26057
yuiseppe
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Quote:
Originally Posted by deathcurse View Post
Sorry to just drop in , I have an incredible backlog to go through ....

Well, I have a little short. About Hayate again (she's crept up my scale of favourite characters!), and her thoughts on the career she chose... And surprise, surprise, I actually wrote Yuuno for once!

Spoiler for What Could Have Been:

Spoiler for Author's Note:
I ADORE Hayate's opening about the chair. The way you drew a parallel between Hayate and Yuuno's 'bench warmer' status (even if you didn't plan it outright) was quite insightful. Also, the fact that Hayate can say "but I am strong enough" without flinching shows how comfortable the two are with each other. Anyone else could well have been a bit miffed at that

You have my thanks as an avid Hayate/Yagami-ke fan.

Quote:
Originally Posted by isagrimorie View Post
This is really fantastic, and holds special significance (in the previous page of this comic) since I recently watched Agito's flashback and she mentions waking-up in the lab and it really fits to what happened between Agito and Signum. Reinforce offering Signum was really poignant. You could see Reinforce was doing in out of kindness and to have that backfire on her and change when she was corrupted must be more than terrifying and heartbreaking.
Thanks!! You've pretty much picked up the main ideas I wanted to convey so far. *whips self into finishing the last pages*

It's a shame that canon doesn't explore Signum and Agito's relationship a bit more... but the silver lining is that we get the mess around with it
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Old 2010-07-21, 18:09   Link #26058
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Originally Posted by deathcurse View Post
However, I admit that I usually think of Yuuno as that great, safe guy who all the girls have as a best friend but not as a crush ...
I can agree with that interpretation, however I must say that it's down right horrible being that guy. No straight male wants to be that guy! Here he is with a bunch of girls who he's close to, can confide in, can hang out and have fun with, in short: the kind of girls he want as his girlfriend. However even if he wanted to, there's no point in trying to ask any of them out because he already knows the answer: they're not interested because he's just 'one of the girls.' They don't see him as a man, and that's the most demasculating thing ever (next to castration).

So there's an idea for you: Yuuno feels this way (but hides it) and the girls manage to get it out of him. Maybe this'll get them to try and hook him up with some one. Imagine him being set up on so many blind dates with girls who turn out to be weird, crazy, etc. The potential for wacky misadventures is endless!

Another idea on the opposite side of the spectrum: Yuuno has a girlfriend and it's time for him to introduce her to his friends. Since Yuuno doesn't have any parents, Nanoha and co would be the ones who'd have to 'approve' of his choice and make sure she's the right girl for their friend. This could be played up for laughs, with the girls being severely critical, or threatening to starlight breaker the person if she breaks Yuuno's heart.

Or you can play it more seriously, with Nanoha and the others having a legitimate issue with the girl (maybe she's a gold digger or something), and this puts them at odds with Yuuno. Nothing like a fight between good friends to up the drama!

Just some suggestions for ya, DC. If anyone else wants to take a shot at them, feel free. I'd really like to read them

Quote:
Originally Posted by deathcurse View Post
Glad someone noticed the chair comment! That was the line that inspired this whole story .
Yeah, that line really stood out to me too, I just didn't mention it

Quote:
Originally Posted by deathcurse View Post
I don't think Yuuno interacted much with Hayate in the actual series, so I had a bit more wiggle room there to write their interaction ^^.
Yuuno and Hayate don't have a single scene of interaction anywhere in the anime or the sound stages. However, in StrikerS Hayate speaks of him with a degree of familiarity to Verossa. You just have to imagine what kind of stuff could happen off screen during the time skip. Hayate is a special investigator, so it's incredibly likely she uses the Library's services, thus putting her into contact with Yuuno. There's other common ground too, such as both of them being bookworms.
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Old 2010-07-21, 18:46   Link #26059
Keroko
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I can agree with that interpretation, however I must say that it's down right horrible being that guy. No straight male wants to be that guy!
*raises hand* I do. But then, I'm not so desperately looking for romance as some of my friends seem to be.

For Yuuno, it's not so much 'not seeing him as a man' but simply 'seeing him as a friend.' Speaking from the point of someone who's love life can currently be counted as 'absolute zero' there's nothing wrong with that. I have many friends who are girls, none of them think of me as a boyfriend, but they do trust me. And really, when I see the love lives of many of my friends who do have a girlfriend, I get the feeling most of them just hooked up with a girl just so they could join the club and have something to brag about. Not something that exactly encourages me to go girl hunting.

Yes, Yuuno is single, but I wouldn't automatically call his position the saddest position on earth. I'm not exactly feeling like I'm missing something myself, and Yuuno hasn't exactly expressed a yearning for female attention either bar perhaps some pre-teen jealousy towards Chrono. I think Yuuno is perfectly comfortable in the place he is, he may not have a girlfriend, but he does have a lot of friends, friends who like him for who he is, not what he's got dangling between his legs or how big his wallet is.
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Old 2010-07-21, 19:07   Link #26060
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It's been awhile, but my muse has been slowing down a bit, and chapter 14 has been giving me a few fits, so not sure when I'll have it done. But in the meantime, I can toss this out for people to gnaw on.

Future Tense

Chapter 13: Dawn, Breaking


In which the spotlight is drawn off of Nanoha for a bit, in order to present Vice with a couple of problems, known as ancient Belkan Knights...

Previous chapters can be found here.

Spoiler for Future Tense, Chapter 13: Dawn, Breaking:
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