Online Relationships

[Lady Yanami]

Originally Posted by NeverRamza

Basically, they never work out. And if anyone decides to fight me on this, yeah, right, you definately are the exception. I'm just sure you'll be able to be the one ultra-rare to actually get married and live your entire lives together. Right after you hit the lottery two times in a row, right?

Actually, I have to say that I'll "fight" you on it, cause it can happen. Like I said before, I met my husband online--and we lived in different states. He and I have been together for a lil over 7 years but we've been happily married for 5 years. I knew him a week and a half, he asked me to marry him and I accepted. We "dated" online for 3 months and then he moved all the way to florida to be with me. At that point, neither of us knew what each other looked like. We described ourselves, but neither of us had pics to show. We went mainly on personality. But we are happy, we're still together and we will be until the day we die. So yes, the relationships do work. You just have to find the right person.

[JOJOS'STAR]

Originally Posted by Wirhe

What? You aren't? Aaaw, now he must be totally broken. Will you be mine then? We might *actually* make something interesting out of it.

Anita-chan is mine! everybody knows that.. lol right? right?

Anyway I think <forum member> was targeting Midorishinobi isn't it <forum member> ?

I don't believe in O.Relationship unless people realy get togetter after spending looooots of time talking of looooots of multiple things. ^^ I think you realy need to see the person before you meet in real life to get an idea of what that person looks like. I mean lets be truthfull, physical attraction is at least 50% of the standard in the beginning of a relationship. IMO.

[Lady Yanami]

You know, it really depends on the individuals on that aspect.
Some people really can have great relationships based strictly on personality.
Like I said, I did. I never knew what Nomad looked like when I met him online. As he didn't know what I looked like either. Neither of us had pics of ourselves, so all we did was described ourselves. Our relationship was purely based on personality. I was already engaged to him 3 months, before he left his life in Michigan for me. He even moved in with me and my parents. The first time I ever saw him was when he got off the bus. And we've been together 7.5 years and we've been married for 5 years. And we'll be married until they day we die.
I guess we're the exception to the rule *shrugs*

[Evan]

Having relationship online? Why not?
You might be teh lucky one out of thousands...It may blossom,it might not...
It all depends on how fate...I think...

[Thyrz]

They will NOT work out, unless:

1. You're adult, both mentally and physically. You have to be ready for complications.

2. you have a place in your community. You need to have an income and your own place to live. Okay that last one isn't *that* important, but that would show that you're ready for it.

3. You are serious about your online relationship.


I'm only 17, male, and I've been into an Online Relationship. If you're as old as me, believe me, it won't work out.

[Sasuke-san]

It depends if you're willing to put some effort into it, if you're the type of person who's always playing around and only engage in one for fun then of course it's seriously not going to work out. If you loved that person (a lot) you would do your best to keep it together.

I dislike those type of people who have a girlfriend/boyfriend online and yet still manage to flirt with others and be disrespectful and unloyal, the same applies for offline relationships. I doubt many online relationships can survive by just talking on msn messenger (and other messenger services), I think a forum needs to be involved (a family forum) where the atmosphere is pretty nice with nice members and admins, with those two people visiting that message board it could be a nice community for both and keep things calm. (IMO)

I've been in one after liking that person for 6 months, I ended it after two weeks though due to some problems but even as of right now a year later I still like her; I wouldn't dare tell her that again. *shrugs*.

[Shinn]

you can never really tell what a person is like online, some people i know have explosive temper online and yet are very shy and never talk in real life. Online relationships can be scary, I know a girl that was stalked and attacked by some horny 30 year old she met online. You never know.. people can lie about their appearence (hell why lie when u got photo shop ), their age, and their personalities.

and some twisted 8 year kids think its fun pretending to be chicks.. sick no? hell my cousin does that >.>

[Kempis Curious]

Originally Posted by Thyrz

They will NOT work out, unless:

1. You're adult, both mentally and physically. You have to be ready for complications.

2. you have a place in your community. You need to have an income and your own place to live. Okay that last one isn't *that* important, but that would show that you're ready for it.

3. You are serious about your online relationship.


I'm only 17, male, and I've been into an Online Relationship. If you're as old as me, believe me, it won't work out.

That all sounds the same as RL relationships. I think the online stuff should only be the first step to meeting people. If the relationship stays online only... that seems pretty immature.

I dunno...

What'd'y'all think? Maybe there are some relationships which should only stay online.

-k

curious

[Lady Yanami]

I do think one has to be ready for a relationship before they get into one. Both online and off. But if you're ready for the relationship nad all that comes with it, it shouldn't matter if it's formed online or not. I had just turned 18 when I met Nomad--and our online relationship was 3 months through a chat program only. Forums, AIM and email were not actually involved. It was just The Palace and twice on the phone. And then he moved in with me and my family, cause I didn't have my own place yet. When he came down from Michigan ( I was in Florida), we were already engaged--and that was when I got to see what he looked like--same for him with me. So it is possible to have online relationships that go great, like ours did. But they can go just as bad. Same with relationships that are started offline. You have the same possibilities. Just really depends on who you are and what you're ready for.

[Genei Killua]

I met my current girlfriend about four and a half years ago when I was just 15 at a Star Wars forum. We talked together on the forum about random nerdy things, and on AIM about ourselves, and how we view the world. About a year of this went on until I decided to ask her to be my 'girlfriend' or as much as whatever such a word could mean in our type of relationship.

At that time, I had already been talking with her on the phone for a month, and that's really how our relationship progressed passed then. We talked on the phone or online for ridiculous amounts of time. One of my quarters she and I averaged about 3 hours of sleep because we'd talk until 3:30 every night. Every 5 months or so, I would buy a plane or bus ticket to go spend a holiday with her, and then it would be the phone and MSN for the interim.

We eventually decided to go to the same college, and she's been in walking distance from me for a year and a half. I think it turned out pretty well, as we are planning on marrying in a few years time. So, I wouldn't say online relationships are impossible. It's just that for online relationships, as well as for any relationships, maturity is needed in both people and a respect for each other and the truth. Other than that, with a little bit of fortitude and endurance, anything is possible.

[Lexander]

I have some online buddies ... but that's about it. I have a hard time trusting the people in person to be the real them, yet alone online. I don't think it's even an option for me.
I really don't like relationships in general. I'm sinlge, not interested in anyone right now, and I hope that never changes.

[Mcdonalds]

Well, i've not personally had an online relationship myself, but my mate met his girlfriend through an online friend (who we both don't know). They started chatting and they got close and then he travelled 100 miles to visit her and well they hit it off. Now she's living at his house and they are living happily (and hopefully ever after).

[Lady Yanami]

Originally Posted by Genei Killua

So, I wouldn't say online relationships are impossible. It's just that for online relationships, as well as for any relationships, maturity is needed in both people and a respect for each other and the truth. Other than that, with a little bit of fortitude and endurance, anything is possible.

Exactly what I've been saying. Thank you Killua.
Any relationship either online or not take just as much support and trust...without which, the relationship is doomed. You also need an open mind. If you're close minded it will never work in either form of relationship.


Lexander....wait until you're older--you'll change your mind, hopefully.
If you stay alone all your life--you'll be a bitter person later in life. I've seen what it does to people. It ain't pretty.

[Kempis Curious]

Originally Posted by Lady Yanami

I had just turned 18 when I met Nomad--and our online relationship was 3 months through a chat program only. Forums, AIM and email were not actually involved. It was just The Palace and twice on the phone. And then he moved in with me and my family, cause I didn't have my own place yet. When he came down from Michigan ( I was in Florida), we were already engaged--and that was when I got to see what he looked like--same for him with me.

Oh that's so romantic I love it!
However, it was mighty risky.... short engagements have a much higher chance of divorce, and marrying young also has a much higher chance of divorce. Lady Yanami beat some long odds, so if anyone here is in a similar situation... you better take a REALLY close and objective look at what you're doing . The consequences can be unbelieveable heartbreak.

Still, that's so romantic I love it!!!!

Originally Posted by Lady Yanami

If you stay alone all your life--you'll be a bitter person later in life. I've seen what it does to people. It ain't pretty.

Hey!

-k

curious

[Kyle kun]

I've never had an online relationship, not for lack of oportunity either, but to me the internet is definently not the place to meet someone. Don't the proverbial 'they' say that relationships are built on trust? Well if there's one thing that stands out about the internet more than anything else, it's that you're anonymous except for what you actually disclose about yourself.

Don't get me wrong, if it works out I think that's great, but I don't think it's worth the risk of potentially dating someone online who is someone completely different from what they've told you, who knows it could even be a scam! (hey baby, I don't get my paycheck till the end of next week and I need $200 for school books, could you lend me the money? I'll pay you back as soon as my check comes.) Yea you get the idea, hell has anyone here ever read "The Brethren", not that I'm gay but stuff like that does happen. (if you haven't, it's about three judges who are in prison for various offences. They send letters to lots of gay men looking for a relationship, then they take the ones who are rich and still 'in the closet' and blackmail them for money).

Anyways, if you take the leap and it all works out, congratulations to you. But it's just not for me.

[Zap]

I've dated a girl that I met online, oh, back in 1992 or so when I was in college. Makes me feel old for this forum. Heck, a dozen years later and I don't even remember her real name, though other details are indelibly burned in my mind. Anyways, back then our online usage was logging in through a terminal (I dialed up through 2400 baud modem) and using commands at a Unix shell. Gawd, those were the days. Using "Elm" for email. FTP transfers were "ftp server.com" and "set binary" and "get file.exe." Usenet newsgroups, gosh, forgot what it was that I used before NN. Our instant messaging was "write user" or "talk user." Some of you Linux geeks can relate.

Anyways, originally we logged into a VAX/VMS system that struggled to handle over a dozen concurrent logins. Then, UCSD (my alma mater) switched the undergrad server (sdcc13.ucsd.edu) to a 486DX2-66 machine running BSD. Holy sheeeit, not only did it handle double the concurrent logins, things wouldn't get lagged.

One evening I typed in "w" to see how many people were online, and if anyone I knew was around. I saw a user "sexymama." Now, you can change your alias by editing some file, ".csh" or something, and making you show up under a different name from your actual login (which usually was first initial, last name). I wondered what kind of person would alias themselves as " sexymama" so I "write sexymama how sexy are you?" I received a one word reply on my screen, "very."

I don't remember if it was that time or another time we wrote back and forth, but I ended up asking if she liked to dance. At the time I was very into dancing. Ballroom dancing, country western dancing, club dancing (had some epic trips to Tijuana, story for another time). Well, she said she loved to dance. I should have asked what kind of dancing she liked, instead I went strait for the kill, "will you go out dancing with me?" "Yes."

Cha-ching! My first date at UCSD, and it only took until my second year.

I took her out country western dancing. This was almost the end of my story.

I was to pick her up at her place. She told me which building she was in, but didn't tell me which room. I tried calling her right before I went over but her line was busy (she was online). Still, I went over there and hung out for about 20 minutes before she rushed out of the place apologizing for losing track of time while online.**

I took her to a place called "Buffalo Joe's" in the historic Gaslamp district in downtown San Diego. It was at this time I found out she liked club dancing (AKA freestyle, what you do in clubs and at school dances). In fact, she didn't even like country music. I was also meeting some other people at Buffalo Joe's (from my dance class) so I went ahead and had fun while she watched.

Few weeks later she asked me out to go bowling. This was the end of my story.

We go to the bowling alley and she wanted to go to the Kmart next door since she has never been in one but have heard a few jokes about them. She ended up buying some romance novel, and we go next door for the main event. She had said that she wasn't bad at bowling and I had said that I wasn't too good at it. If I break 100 I'm doing pretty well, so I didn't feel quite up to the levels of anyone thinking highly of themselves.

I ended up bowling my best game ever, IIRC getting about 130-140-ish. She didn't break 100.

I never "went out" with her again, after that time. I once bumped into her on campus and we exchanged some pleasantries, but that's about it.

---------------------------------

** What we at work now call "internet time" where people's sense of time becomes warped, typically having to do with the internet but also generically having anything to do with technology. For instance, if someone couldn't get online for ten minutes, they'll call tech support claiming the system's been down for two hours. If someone has been online for three hours they'll claim they were only online for just over an hour.

[KimmyChan]

Me and my current boyfriend have been together for almost 2 years now and we first met online before meeting up for real and still going strong and serious to this day, truly, madly and deeply in love with each other, and we're also planning on getting engaged by the end of this year aswell

[Desiree Disaster]

I'm in an internet relationship at the moment, and somewhat happy with it. I've tried the whole "real life dating" thing before, and it never works out for me. In my later years I've become quite a hermit, so yeah... a boyfriend I never have to leave the house to be with is spot on for me.

[Mystique]

KawaiiKimmy:
First welcome to Asuki, you joined last month.
Secondly, ressurecting threads from 5 years ago.... uh
Sometimes they're better left alone...

So there have been two threads all along, I wonder if we should get this merged because we've already had heated discussion and debates in another online relationship thread (i forget the title) over the year which i think will benefit many and refrain from debating over the same points.

By online relationship, i presume they mean on a 'boyfriend/girlfriend' level, since I've a 4 and a half year online relationship... just he happens to be one my brother from another mother

[Throne Invader]

Back in this online game, a certain guy took a liking to me. I had already had a real life bf at the time though. Then came a time when my bf and I broke up. I can say I kind of liked my online friend at a time after that but in the end he showed his true colors. Let's say I just don't like his colors