2012-04-24, 10:04 | Link #29925 |
That one guy
Join Date: Nov 2011
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I am also skeptical about the sudden shifts in status quo without any form of build up or some sort of compelling narrative. Thus far, every single plot development has been done by someone evil whom you're more vexed with for doing only half the job they should be. Another point, the level of character depth makes me feel like I'm wading in ffnet rather than watching professional wriing.
Though that's just my opinion. Also, quite some unknown manga's and anime feel like a fresh series despite overused devices and story pogressions. To Aru and One Piece to name two. |
2012-04-24, 10:15 | Link #29928 |
That one guy
Join Date: Nov 2011
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Ichika rape is easy. Just xover with Haruhi
Rape played for laughs is a common tool and used with the basis that its delusional or would end in disastrlus fail anyway. I wrote something like attempted rape during highschool. The rapist never got deeper than tearing the girl's uniform though. |
2012-04-24, 10:17 | Link #29930 |
I am no one
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Inside your head
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^ Which makes it even worse, maybe it's the purple prose
It wasn't supposed to be romantic, it was supposed to be tragic and pitiful. I admit though, that it has a potential for both character development AND derailment, but I'm too stupid to pull that stunt.
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2012-04-24, 10:28 | Link #29932 |
I am no one
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Inside your head
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She was raised in a cold, ruthless environment and grew up with no sense of morality. Ichika gave her just that, and how! Suddenly, she has regret and loneliness the size of everest.
And Now Ichika ALSO has her memories of her past, adding into his post-rape trauma/ pleasure denial, which mean his self-induced idiocy in front of girls is not so much disappeared as it is shattered totally, eww.... As you note though, readers probably like it either way P.S. anyone watch soccer? I'm sleeping early to watch it. See you guys later.
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2012-04-24, 10:31 | Link #29933 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
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Plan for a future arc: Future Kazuma gets accidentally sent back and tries to do the one thing he always wanted: Kill Tabane. Far cry from the humor story, but shows the repurcussions of Tabane's actions on the world at large and what happens when somebody goes "Oh no, you're not leaving on that effing carrot after one of your schemes!".
Yeah, don't like Tabane much.
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2012-04-24, 10:38 | Link #29934 |
That one guy
Join Date: Nov 2011
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@zero: what did I just read? no srsly, what did I just read.
@eras: your story has no negative remarks becaus you are writing well. You tie up loose ends, You make sure each character matters to the readers, there are reasons for everything and attention to plot important details. Most importantly, you don't hold back in trying to get readers to sympathize. Though you tend to overdo it sometimes. Thats just my analysis |
Tags |
fanfic ideas, fanfiction, ff.net, harem, is fanfic, warning fanfic spoilers, wincest |
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