AnimeSuki Forums

Mystique · 2009-05-23, 23:34

Okay to be blunt, I meant for you to break down the last sentence that i quoted from ya

Quote:

I speak of Aspies and Autistics.

I'm aware of the latter but the way you grouped them together like that for a dating thread, makes me think:
'what characteristics is he referring to?'
More over, what do those two words mean in layman's terms?
Please define it simply for the clueless one here

whitepearl · 2009-05-24, 00:32

Aspies = people with Asperger's Syndrome.

Asperger's severely hinders a person's ability to socialize or thrive in a social setting. They often have a very narrow range of interests and often find it more easy to socialize with like-minded individuals (mainly they get along fine with other Aspies).

Like Deus mentioned, Aspies don't pick up on social cues and they do tend to be rather blunt about things. I know someone who has Asperger's and he is as you describe; he is a bit slow, socially awkward and he says and does things that make us all scratch our heads.

Deus_Ex_Obscurum · 2009-05-24, 03:46

*Smiles*

Asperger is High-Functioning Autism so it is appropriate to refer to Aspies as Autistics. Bit of a social faux pas considering most see Autistics as retarded people. (No offence but it can be a common stereo-type)

And yes...we are blunt. But that can make us excellent in a relationship because we will be truthful. Ask us if your ass looks big in that...you had best be prepared for the answer because we WILL give it.

Unfortunately, Aspergers is more common in men than women so it can be difficult to find Aspie women.

Mystique · 2009-05-24, 05:05

Aaaah, thanks whitepearl and Dues. ^^
And heh, without offending too many people, I've noted the guys close to me as friends technically can all fall under that category of 'aspies'.
I've been growing up in the last 5 years under 'no sugar coating'; so as a result, I sometimes can be impatient with being sensitive to every, little, damn thing at times.
(takes too much time and life is too short)
In fact one of my favourite comedians is Carlos Mencia who is more or less "straight" in the way and I adore and am kinda used to offline.

To quote him:
Woman: Does my ass look big in this?
Man: No, your ass looks big in everything.
xD
(love him)

In that sense, you probably find women who've been raised in a similar environment as me (or just get another British, smart mouthed chick) >.>
Dark sarcasm, wicked sense of humour and a quick wit, may be the traits ideal for you for your future partner, in that sense, you'll probably find someone who'll complement you a bit easier than you think.

Eitherway, all the best ^^

whitepearl · 2009-05-24, 10:48

Perfect example of Asperger's in action, with regards to the person I know: we all went to a baseball game last year where we saw the New York Mets play host to the visiting Chicago Cubs. Rather than sit with us and enjoy the game, he spent much of the time aimlessly walking around the stadium. I think he was only in his seat for three innings (at most) and I think he left early, too. I can't recall the finer details.

npcomplete · 2009-05-24, 11:18

hmm... girlfriend -> girl friend? i.e. female buddy?

King Lycan · 2009-05-30, 12:46

So I was at party yesterday and I saw this girl i had a crush on ..so i walk up to her.. started a lil conversation and her best friend (female) comes up and just cuts right in front of me and takes her away from me

. I don't know if her Bff knows i like her but why would she do that ?

arenine · 2009-05-30, 16:22

Quote:

Originally Posted by King Lycan

So I was at party yesterday and I saw this girl i had a crush on ..so i walk up to her.. started a lil conversation and her best friend (female) comes up and just cuts right in front of me and takes her away from me

. I don't know if her Bff knows i like her but why would she do that ?

it's a rescue tactic. don't take it too personally, but the bff is basically bringing the girl out of a situation where the girl isn't interested in the guy hitting on her.

Miko Miko · 2009-06-13, 16:16

HELP ME ANIMESUKI!!!!

Problem:
This boy, he is a close friend of mine asked me out. I said yes. But its not what I want at all and he is happy and I'm not. I dont want to upset him and make him fall out with me. I don't know what to do.. Any help?

whitepearl · 2009-06-13, 22:19

Did you say yes right away? When was the moment where you said to yourself that he wasn't what you thought he was?

Miko Miko · 2009-06-14, 02:36

I said yes after about 3 mins, I didn't want to let him down.

Quote:

When was the moment where you said to yourself that he wasn't what you thought he was?

I haven't.. but.. I know he isn't right for me.. he seems to think differently though.

Jazzrat · 2009-06-14, 03:10

Imouto chan, i think you should come clean with the boy in regard of your true feeling. It's terrible to love someone out of expectation/fear of disappointment.

He ll be hurt, disappointed but atleast he wont be living a lie. Let him you know you treasure him as a friend but not as a bf.

You might lose him but i think it's better for both of you in the end.

Miko Miko · 2009-06-14, 03:16

Okay, It might take me some time to get up the courage. And I don't ever want to lose him as a friend, he is one of my closest friends. Ughh. It was a mistake saying yes..

Thanks Jazzrat

Fome · 2009-06-14, 09:23

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miko Miko

Okay, It might take me some time to get up the courage. And I don't ever want to lose him as a friend, he is one of my closest friends. Ughh. It was a mistake saying yes..

Thanks Jazzrat

Did you say closest friends?

Another point for the ladder theory

Ascaloth · 2009-06-14, 09:32

@Miko Miko,

Mata kimi wa, Imouto-chan?

Anyway, as Jazzrat said. Better to come clean now than later, and really in this kind of case, not to sound too cynical, but you should always think of yourself first, and others can come second. It's your happiness you're putting at stake here, after all....and the boy? He can go suck it.

Miko Miko · 2009-06-14, 09:34

Quote:

Another point for the ladder theory

ehh?

and thanks Ascaloth

Ascaloth · 2009-06-14, 09:37

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miko Miko

ehh?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ladder_theory

Miko Miko · 2009-06-14, 09:52

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ascaloth

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ladder_theory

Oh Sankyuu

whitepearl · 2009-06-14, 23:07

Never heard of the ladder theory until now but I can say that I have used it when evaluating female acquaintances...

I will agree with what the others have said, Miko Miko; just come clean to the guy and be honest with him. Hope he doesn't take things too negatively.

Shinoto · 2009-06-15, 01:12

No one likes un-confident and indecisive people
The quicker you tell him, the better. The longer you postpone it the worse it shall be.

And also, if your worried about losing him as a friend then your being a terrible, selfish friend. Your thinking about yourself and not him while conveniently hiding behind the excuse of "I don't want to hurt his feelings so I went along with it"

2009-05-24, 00:32	Link #1122
whitepearl Dietrich fan #681675 Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: New York	Aspies = people with Asperger's Syndrome. Asperger's severely hinders a person's ability to socialize or thrive in a social setting. They often have a very narrow range of interests and often find it more easy to socialize with like-minded individuals (mainly they get along fine with other Aspies). Like Deus mentioned, Aspies don't pick up on social cues and they do tend to be rather blunt about things. I know someone who has Asperger's and he is as you describe; he is a bit slow, socially awkward and he says and does things that make us all scratch our heads. __________________ Go Yankees. Twitter

2009-05-24, 05:05	Link #1124
Mystique Honyaku no Hime Fansubber Join Date: May 2008 Location: In the eastern capital of the islands of the rising suns...	Aaaah, thanks whitepearl and Dues. ^^ And heh, without offending too many people, I've noted the guys close to me as friends technically can all fall under that category of 'aspies'. I've been growing up in the last 5 years under 'no sugar coating'; so as a result, I sometimes can be impatient with being sensitive to every, little, damn thing at times. (takes too much time and life is too short) In fact one of my favourite comedians is Carlos Mencia who is more or less "straight" in the way and I adore and am kinda used to offline. To quote him: Woman: Does my ass look big in this? Man: No, your ass looks big in everything. xD (love him) In that sense, you probably find women who've been raised in a similar environment as me (or just get another British, smart mouthed chick) >.> Dark sarcasm, wicked sense of humour and a quick wit, may be the traits ideal for you for your future partner, in that sense, you'll probably find someone who'll complement you a bit easier than you think. Eitherway, all the best ^^ __________________ Worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere. - Van Wilder "If you ain't laughin', you ain't livin'." - Carlos Mencia

2009-05-24, 10:48	Link #1125
whitepearl Dietrich fan #681675 Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: New York	Perfect example of Asperger's in action, with regards to the person I know: we all went to a baseball game last year where we saw the New York Mets play host to the visiting Chicago Cubs. Rather than sit with us and enjoy the game, he spent much of the time aimlessly walking around the stadium. I think he was only in his seat for three innings (at most) and I think he left early, too. I can't recall the finer details. __________________ Go Yankees. Twitter

2009-05-30, 12:46	Link #1127
King Lycan User Title eaten by ravenous bunnies IT Support Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Zeon Age: 33	So I was at party yesterday and I saw this girl i had a crush on ..so i walk up to her.. started a lil conversation and her best friend (female) comes up and just cuts right in front of me and takes her away from me . I don't know if her Bff knows i like her but why would she do that ? __________________ Tumblr

2009-06-13, 16:16	Link #1129
Miko Miko Imouto-Chan♥ Graphic Designer Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: England Age: 30	HELP ME ANIMESUKI!!!! Problem: This boy, he is a close friend of mine asked me out. I said yes. But its not what I want at all and he is happy and I'm not. I dont want to upset him and make him fall out with me. I don't know what to do.. Any help? __________________

2009-05-24, 03:46	Link #1123
Deus_Ex_Obscurum Member Join Date: May 2009	Smiles Asperger is High-Functioning Autism so it is appropriate to refer to Aspies as Autistics. Bit of a social faux pas considering most see Autistics as retarded people. (No offence but it can be a common stereo-type) And yes...we are blunt. But that can make us excellent in a relationship because we will be truthful. Ask us if your ass looks big in that...you had best be prepared for the answer because we WILL give it. Unfortunately, Aspergers is more common in men than women so it can be difficult to find Aspie women.

2009-05-24, 11:18	Link #1126
npcomplete Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2008	hmm... girlfriend -> girl friend? i.e. female buddy?

2009-06-13, 22:19	Link #1130
whitepearl Dietrich fan #681675 Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: New York	Did you say yes right away? When was the moment where you said to yourself that he wasn't what you thought he was? __________________ Go Yankees. Twitter

2009-06-14, 03:10	Link #1132
Jazzrat Bearly Legal Join Date: Jun 2004	Imouto chan, i think you should come clean with the boy in regard of your true feeling. It's terrible to love someone out of expectation/fear of disappointment. He ll be hurt, disappointed but atleast he wont be living a lie. Let him you know you treasure him as a friend but not as a bf. You might lose him but i think it's better for both of you in the end. __________________

2009-06-14, 03:16	Link #1133
Miko Miko Imouto-Chan♥ Graphic Designer Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: England Age: 30	Okay, It might take me some time to get up the courage. And I don't ever want to lose him as a friend, he is one of my closest friends. Ughh. It was a mistake saying yes.. Thanks Jazzrat __________________

2009-06-14, 09:32	Link #1135
Ascaloth I don't give a damn, dude Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: In Despair Age: 37	@Miko Miko, Mata kimi wa, Imouto-chan? Anyway, as Jazzrat said. Better to come clean now than later, and really in this kind of case, not to sound too cynical, but you should always think of yourself first, and others can come second. It's your happiness you're putting at stake here, after all....and the boy? He can go suck it.

2009-06-14, 23:07	Link #1139
whitepearl Dietrich fan #681675 Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: New York	Never heard of the ladder theory until now but I can say that I have used it when evaluating female acquaintances... I will agree with what the others have said, Miko Miko; just come clean to the guy and be honest with him. Hope he doesn't take things too negatively. __________________ Go Yankees. Twitter

2009-06-15, 01:12	Link #1140
Shinoto Rollin' Like A Boss Join Date: Apr 2006	No one likes un-confident and indecisive people The quicker you tell him, the better. The longer you postpone it the worse it shall be. And also, if your worried about losing him as a friend then your being a terrible, selfish friend. Your thinking about yourself and not him while conveniently hiding behind the excuse of "I don't want to hurt his feelings so I went along with it" __________________