The Genderbending of Haruhi Suzumiya [Spoilers Aplenty]

[Tyabann]

Originally Posted by Kang Seung Jae

Currently trying to translate these..... but getting too much noseblood to continue for now.

Itsuko should sell those to Haruki. He'd pay a mint.

[Kang Seung Jae]

Originally Posted by Kaisos Erranon

Itsuko should sell those to Haruki. He'd pay a mint.

That's not the reason for my nosebleed.

[DJ_RockmanX]

Originally Posted by Kaisos Erranon

Itsuko should sell those to Haruki. He'd pay a mint.

She should, but first she uses them as blackmail against Kyon-chan. Actually, that IS the blackmail method of choice.

[S_Reed]

Alright, so I've just gone through Kaisos's version of Chapter 2, and I'm actually
quite impressed. It's much better than the previous one. However, I have a few changes I'd like to make to select parts...

Spoiler:

"Now listen! After school today, you go and find out what needs to be done, and I'll go and find a room for the club. Okay?"

That’s it! I’ve had it with his selfishness. A girl has to make her stand in this world sometimes, so…

“NO!”

Haruki had already turned and was about to walk down the stairs when he paused in mid-step. He retracted that step and stood very still.

“…What did you say?”

...Uh, nothing?

Even though I wanted to say that, the coldness of his voice was like an iceberg of doom, breaking my thoughts and my voice into two separate halves. For the first time ever in my life, I felt truly helpless. Jack, where are you? Jack~~~!

“I mean…” Oh, it looks like I’m not completely out of it after all! “Why should I help you just because you said so?”

…Ahahahah! You know what I just realized? Fear and pride can make you say stupid things. It’s interesting how the prospect of death can make you very philosophical once you accept its inevitability.

“Hmm…”

Haruki turned around and scrutinized me from head to toe. Surprisingly, he didn’t seem mad at all. In fact, he looked contemplative… which opens a whole new can of worms that I’d rather not think about.

“You’re right, I can’t just make you do things without giving you something in return.”

What was that? So you do have a modicum of common sense after all!

“…Especially if I don’t have any dirt on you.”

…Aaaand, for the first time ever, I realized how truly terrifying Haruki is.

“How about I’ll give you a nice present instead? You’ll like it, I promise!”

With that, he turned around and bounced down the stairs, leaving a disoriented female student standing all alone on the dust-filled staircase.

"... I’ll like it... or else, right?"

Sigh, saying this to a plaster statue is pointless. I could only drag my heavy feet, thinking about how I would explain all this to my curious classmates.

***

"Hey, everybody!"

Haruki greeted us energetically as he entered the room, carrying with him two paper bags. Is that the present he promised me?

"Sorry guys, I got delayed."
…

Black leather pants, a bow tie, white cuffs, and a sleeveless white tuxedo shirt.

Chippendales!?

…I don’t think I’ve ever been so glad in my entire life that I’m not the one getting a present.

"W... What are those for?" Asahina-senpai asked timidly.

***

"What? No, this one wouldn’t fit me at all. I did get one for you, though."

Haruki grinned.

“You know, the present I promised you?”

Oh no, no no no. God no.

[Kagedanji]

Damn, my ideas and I were shot down faster than

Spoiler for ...:

Kamina

[SquishXD]

Originally Posted by DJ_RockmanX

Kyon-chan protests and tries to punch him, but he easily grabs her punch. He then enlists Itsuko to cosplay rape her.

I heartily approve of this idea. This definitely needs to go in the novels somewhere.

[S_Reed]

Is the composite for chapter 1 done yet? For putting on the wiki, I mean.

[Tyabann]

Originally Posted by S_Reed

Alright, so I've just gone through Kaisos's version of Chapter 2, and I'm actually
quite impressed. It's much better than the previous one. However, I have a few changes I'd like to make to select parts...

Spoiler:

"Now listen! After school today, you go and find out what needs to be done, and I'll go and find a room for the club. Okay?"

That’s it! I’ve had it with his selfishness. A girl has to make her stand in this world sometimes, so…

“NO!”

Haruki had already turned and was about to walk down the stairs when he paused in mid-step. He retracted that step and stood very still.

“…What did you say?”

...Uh, nothing?

Even though I wanted to say that, the coldness of his voice was like an iceberg of doom, breaking my thoughts and my voice into two separate halves. For the first time ever in my life, I felt truly helpless. Jack, where are you? Jack~~~!

“I mean…” Oh, it looks like I’m not completely out of it after all! “Why should I help you just because you said so?”

…Ahahahah! You know what I just realized? Fear and pride can make you say stupid things. It’s interesting how the prospect of death can make you very philosophical once you accept its inevitability.

“Hmm…”

Haruki turned around and scrutinized me from head to toe. Surprisingly, he didn’t seem mad at all. In fact, he looked contemplative… which opens a whole new can of worms that I’d rather not think about.

“You’re right, I can’t just make you do things without giving you something in return.”

What was that? So you do have a modicum of common sense after all!

“…Especially if I don’t have any dirt on you.”

…Aaaand, for the first time ever, I realized how truly terrifying Haruki is.

“How about I’ll give you a nice present instead? You’ll like it, I promise!”

With that, he turned around and bounced down the stairs, leaving a disoriented female student standing all alone on the dust-filled staircase.

"... I’ll like it... or else, right?"

Sigh, saying this to a plaster statue is pointless. I could only drag my heavy feet, thinking about how I would explain all this to my curious classmates.

***

"Hey, everybody!"

Haruki greeted us energetically as he entered the room, carrying with him two paper bags. Is that the present he promised me?

"Sorry guys, I got delayed."
…

Black leather pants, a bow tie, white cuffs, and a sleeveless white tuxedo shirt.

Chippendales!?

…I don’t think I’ve ever been so glad in my entire life that I’m not the one getting a present.

"W... What are those for?" Asahina-senpai asked timidly.

***

"What? No, this one wouldn’t fit me at all. I did get one for you, though."

Haruki grinned.

“You know, the present I promised you?”

Oh no, no no no. God no.

She shouldn't be THAT scared of him. Try to tone that down a bit and I'll add it into mine. The present thing is awesome, though.

And please, no Titanic references. Or is that an MGS2 reference?

Originally Posted by S_Reed

Is the composite for chapter 1 done yet? For putting on the wiki, I mean.

I was gonna do that with the whole novel, not just with Chapter One.

Mostly so I can keep playing Clannad and not have to work at all.

[Jintor]

I really do not see the need for a present.

[Discreet]

Spoiler:

That’s it! I’ve had it with his selfishness. A girl has to make her stand in this world sometimes, so…

“NO!”

Haruki had already turned and was about to walk down the stairs when he paused in mid-step. He retracted that step and stood very still.

“…What did you say?”

...Uh, nothing?

Even though I wanted to say that, the coldness of his voice was like an iceberg of doom, breaking my thoughts and my voice into two separate halves. For the first time ever in my life, I felt truly helpless. Jack, where are you? Jack~~~!

“I mean…” Oh, it looks like I’m not completely out of it after all! “Why should I help you just because you said so?”

…Ahahahah! You know what I just realized? Fear and pride can make you say stupid things. It’s interesting how the prospect of death can make you very philosophical once you accept its inevitability.

“Hmm…”

Haruki turned around and scrutinized me from head to toe. Surprisingly, he didn’t seem mad at all. In fact, he looked contemplative… which opens a whole new can of worms that I’d rather not think about.

“You’re right, I can’t just make you do things without giving you something in return.”

What was that? So you do have a modicum of common sense after all!

“…Especially if I don’t have any dirt on you.”

…Aaaand, for the first time ever, I realized how truly terrifying Haruki is.

“How about I’ll give you a nice present instead? You’ll like it, I promise!”

With that, he turned around and bounced down the stairs, leaving a disoriented female student standing all alone on the dust-filled staircase.

"... I’ll like it... or else, right?"

This was the original part that alerted me to your presence and made me go WTF back on BT.

Honestly, it's way too much of a change for little to no purpose and it doesn't seem to fit Haruki or Kyonko at all.

So I, in my worthless position of two-day editor scream loudly "NO!" and place a huge "REFUSED" stamp on your forehead.

[Rikimtasu]

Originally Posted by Kang Seung Jae

Currently screenshoting three seperate videos, while getting some 4-komas translated.....

This is going to be hell.

Which video you are giong to sreenshoting anyway.Could you show it?

[Jintor]

While I agree to a certain amount of freedom with the text, and I can compromise with the present thing (it does lead to a nice line with the Chippendale Outfit later), Kyonko and Haruki seem almost majorly ooc.

[Tyabann]

Originally Posted by Jintor

I really do not see the need for a present.

It's funnier...?

Originally Posted by Discreet

This was the original part that alerted me to your presence and made me go WTF back on BT.

Honestly, it's way too much of a change for little to no purpose and it doesn't seem to fit Haruki or Kyonko at all.

So I, in my worthless position of two-day editor scream loudly "NO!" and place a huge "REFUSED" stamp on your forehead.

Yeah, that part gets a "Q" for "Failure".

It's not a bad idea, though, just needs to be TONED DOWN.

[colorado storms]

Well, I've just finished my preliminary first draft of Asahina Mitsuru's Adventure Episode 00. However, before I post it, there is a load of issues/questions I need the community to answer.

The most important question is: would Haruhi and Haruki make the same movie? Are we going with a shota-wannabe-gar Mitsuru, or a major GAR? The latter will require a major movie rewrite. The former requires very few changes, and is what I currently have. This version is cute and works really well, until the final showdown on the roof. Itsuko is now protecting a cowering Mitsuru, which is just too Ikari Shinji for me.

So I ask the community: What film would Suzumiya Haruki make? Since Mitsuru transfers to Itsuko's school partway through, this brings up a parallel to Full Metal Panic. Would Haruki make a character like Sagara Sousuke?


Other questions (some of these are reposted):
Major notes:

1. I have yet to see a firm decision from the community about just what Kyonko's feelings are for Mitsuru. Are we going with motherly-sisterly, or younger girl-sempai male, or even something else? It will make a noticeable difference. I have decided to go with motherly-sisterly until I hear otherwise. But we need to remember, whichever attraction it is has to be STRONG. Yuki and Itsuki both make mention of the attraction being THE reason someone like Mikuru was sent back.
   
   
2. If we recall the personality of the original Itsuki (you remember him, right?), he never once makes reference to his love life with either girls or guys, and the scene where he comes close to kissing Mikuru is the closest he ever comes to it. So, the same will have to hold for Istuko.

Minor notes:

1. I have decided to go with the chippendale's outfit for Mitsuru. I am not overly attached to this outfit (even though I think it is the proper gender swap for a bunny girl outfit), so if we decide later to switch the outfit, I won't mind making changes. I saw someone suggest simply calling it a stripper's outfit; however, there is a point where Mikuru refers to herself as a bunnygirl, so Mitsuru should have a name for it.
   
   
2. I have also made a small alteration to the rule of "All characters will be genderswapped" in order to still have women shopping during the day for food. Of course, now there might actually be a draw with a shota chippendale advertising food . Again, I have no problem switching this. Perhaps if he is advertising in front of a male-oriented shop (electronics)?
   
   
3. Japanese feminization of names: The grocer's name- Morimuri Kiyosumi. And the stationary store owner's name- Suzuki Yuusuke. I'm deferring to those with better judgment of Japanese names.
   
   
4. Would passers-by that know him refer to him as Mitsuru-kun or -chan? (is -chan too cute for a teenage guy?) (in a chippendale's outfit?)
   
   
5. Neither the ads nor the disclaimer are actually in this chapter. I believe they are in Vol2. For the flow of the story, I think the ads should stay out, but should we put the disclaimer in?
   
   
6. I'm going with a female cat named Samisen.
   
   
7. Should I call Yuuki an evil alien magician, or an evil alien wizard?
   
   
8. I'm having Mitsuru refer to Tsuruya as Tsuruya-kun, since they are male classmates.

And

Spoiler for a little teaser:

After closing the door, Mitsuru began to slowly take off his chippendale costume. He started with his right cuff, then his left, then slowly reached back and undid his bowtie. As he was unbuckling his pants, sadly, the rest of this very seductive scene was cut. The next scene shows him crawling into his bed, wearing only very loose pants, and that was the end of that scene.

P.S. Is it a bad sign when I can't remember their unbent names anymore?

[DJ_RockmanX]

Regarding S_Reed's edits from what I've seen and what I remembered:

I approved of the parts that better the flow of conversations and make the characters sound more like their new gender.

However, I do not think that we should overstep any characterization or plot boundaries that the original novels have established. If we did, we might as well write the whole thing from scratch.

[S_Reed]

Alright, let me try again. First part only...

Spoiler:

"Now listen! After school today, you go and find out what needs to be done, and I'll go and find a room for the club. Okay?"

That’s it! I’ve had it with his selfishness. A girl has to make her stand in this world sometimes, so…

“NO!”

Haruki had already turned and was about to walk down the stairs when he paused in mid-step. He retracted that step and stood very still.

“…What did you say?”

...Uh, I think I may have stepped on a mine or something.

His voice suddenly got as cold as an iceberg of doom. But even though it’s getting a little scary, I decided to push on.

“I mean… Why should I help you just because you said so?”

Through the pocket of my skirt, I felt the brand new bottle of mace that I bought yesterday. Who knows what kind of violent things this gorilla of a man will do to me if he gets angry?

“Hmm…”

Haruki turned around and scrutinized me from head to toe. Surprisingly, he didn’t seem mad at all. In fact, he looked contemplative… which opens a whole new can of worms that I’d rather not think about.

“You’re right, I can’t just make you do things without giving you something in return.”

What was that? So you do have a modicum of common sense after all!
“…Especially if I don’t have any dirt on you.”

…Aaaand, for the first time ever, I realized how truly terrifying Haruki is.

“How about I’ll give you a nice present instead? You’ll like it, I promise!”

With that, he turned around and bounced down the stairs, leaving a disoriented female student standing all alone on the dust-filled staircase.

"... I’ll like it... or else, right?"

Sigh, saying this to a plaster statue is pointless. I could only drag my heavy feet, thinking about how I would explain all this to my curious classmates.

I included the mace so that it might come into play with the face-off against Asakura later on.

This was the original part that alerted me to your presence and made me go WTF back on BT.

Honestly, it's way too much of a change for little to no purpose and it doesn't seem to fit Haruki or Kyonko at all.

So I, in my worthless position of two-day editor scream loudly "NO!" and place a huge "REFUSED" stamp on your forehead.

Zetsuboushita~~~~!!!

[Jintor]

It's not initially funny, but it sets up a nice gag later. Major tonedown would definately be a good thing.

Kyonko is fairly unflappable, anyway.

/EDIT Kyonko has a bottle of mace? For no apparent reason? CAN YOU SAY PLOT DEVICE-

I doubt Kyonko would be paranoid enough to carry around a bottle of mace all the bloody time.

[Kang Seung Jae]

Originally Posted by Rikimtasu

Which video you are giong to sreenshoting anyway.Could you show it?

The one where Kyon had a dream of becoming Kyon-chan, resulting in him actually becoming Kyon-chan after he told Haruhi about his dream, "The sexiness of Kyon-chan,"and the "Yuuki-loving Computer Club President"

[Kagedanji]

Originally Posted by Discreet

This was the original part that alerted me to your presence and made me go WTF back on BT.

Honestly, it's way too much of a change for little to no purpose and it doesn't seem to fit Haruki or Kyonko at all.

So I, in my worthless position of two-day editor scream loudly "NO!" and place a huge "REFUSED" stamp on your forehead.

Don't say worthless, you're more important than my ass already. In only two days. Just for finding spelling mistakes and stuff... Aghaa~!!!

*Runs off*

[Rikimtasu]

Originally Posted by Kang Seung Jae

The one where Kyon had a dream of becoming Kyon-chan, resulting in him actually becoming Kyon-chan after he told Haruhi about his dream, "The sexiness of Kyon-chan,"and the "Yuuki-loving Computer Club President"

Oh,so it is the mini fan story,right? Go for it!
And blew,i updated my video post's today.