2010-05-14, 17:14 | Link #81 | |||
Queen of Tragedy
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Place of rocks and trees, and trees and rocks...and water.
Age: 33
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I meant to have Negi come in later in the story, but people seemed to want to see him so I threw him in a little early . Quote:
Evangeline is so fun to write, she can be totally blunt and rude and no one will say anything against her! (except maybe Asuna.... ) Quote:
Oooh, I like the way you think . That's a big part of why Setsuna's demonic side has come up, but there's something else linked with it that I'm going to dive into soon ^^.
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2010-05-14, 22:47 | Link #82 |
Queen of Tragedy
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Place of rocks and trees, and trees and rocks...and water.
Age: 33
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Chapter 3 of "Love and Duty Come in Chains" is posted to Fanfiction.net.
In addition to the name changes isagrimorie pointed out, I also did a few more things. Changes made: 1. Setsuna and Konoemon's conversation: As RB pointed out, Setsuna's response provokes a "want to slap her" response , so I cut it out. The conversation I replaced it with was a scene I wanted to include in my first draft, but took out because it's a little confusing at this point in the story (but I put it back in since otherwise this whole scene becomes useless ). 2. Added one line to the end of the scene where Konoka and Kyo present to their families. 3. Setsuna and Shizuna's conversation: I inserted a few more lines of dialogue ... I had considered writing "Chapter 4" directly at the end of Chapter 3, but who can resist that melodramatic cliff-hanger?
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2010-05-17, 20:47 | Link #83 |
Member
Author
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Somewhere in the dark recesses of my mind...
Age: 33
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My my, you people leave me behind in your dust with this conversation. Eva indeed has a six million dollar bounty, properly a million drachma in Mundus, yes I believe you did the math right, but I can't be sure...as for myself, I just took the bounty completely by the horns myself.
True, my story is quite..."raw" in the beginning, but if anyone wants to look upon it, and stick with it...I do get better as it goes along yah' know. I'd like feedback if one has time to give it. Chapter forty six is up for me...aye, I'm that far along. I'm nearly complete with this one, and I am formulating the beginning of another, but any feedback is welcome, even at this point. I'll admit however, writing as Eva is quite entertaining, indeed. The way I've formed Negi's character also makes him very entertaining to write, of course, sometimes his caustic personality "overpowers" me, and I end up editing quite a lot out...
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2010-05-18, 22:27 | Link #85 | ||
Queen of Tragedy
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Place of rocks and trees, and trees and rocks...and water.
Age: 33
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Yeah, Evangeline gets a larger spotlight in Chapter 4, and she's definitely very entertaining to write . And this is news to you?
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2010-05-20, 00:30 | Link #89 |
A person
Join Date: Aug 2008
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-shivers- ~.~;; s-since there's a fanfic thread, I'll p-post up mines:
Story #3 - Chosen Fate Genre: Romance/Drama Rated: T (may turn into M later on) Status: Ongoing Chapters: 19 Pairing: NegixSetsuna (-hides-) Description: As Negi graduates from his magic school, he finds out that he has to start his training in becoming a Magister Magi. But this training involves familiarizing himself with a chosen partner while being a teacher at the same time. Opinion(s): Well, it starts out with my old fanfic skills, but I later improve them as I go through the series, so don't get wasted on the first one xP And suggestions are recommended ^^;;
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2010-05-20, 13:15 | Link #90 |
Senior Member
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Hey.
I uh, I don't know if I should be posting this to get support or anything, since the whole thing is VERY confusing at the time this is up, but I just want Someone's opinion on this. Spoiler for #1:
Spoiler for Notes:
Spoiler for #2:
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And there, was the explanation for why there are two factions in this story. Spoiler for #4:
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Spoiler for Final entry:
...Any thoughts on these? I haven't gotten any reviews or so from these two last chapters, so I wonder what people would think of this. For those who doesn't get it: Aris stood for the idea of sending a strike team off somewhere to eliminate Nodoka, who wasn't at Mahora at the time. Negi on the other hand, rejected the idea completely and stated that they should work together to save her instead. Practically, the strike team is not such a bad idea. They have little support to begin with, since USA and China (No Offense at all to people here from mentioned countries) refuse to throw in their magi for support to stop an alien invasion since the States claim that it is not a threat to National Security (Note: This is during the Bush regime) and China says they can hold their own against the aliens. Other states and nations, are uncertain or haven't decided due to lack of evidence of an incursion. This is understandable. The Canon Githyanki (Loyalists in story) however, offer to change that, by convincing the nations to lend support, and even bring in major military aid as well. This is an opportunity they can't ignore, if the countries of the world can't come to aid the Magi with their support. Morally, however... Well, you get the idea.
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2010-05-26, 15:43 | Link #91 |
Member
Author
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Somewhere in the dark recesses of my mind...
Age: 33
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The idea is interesting to say the least. I haven't had much time to read things recently, been too busy writing things. I have been trying to remedy that situation however...I am reading a few stories. Mainly, a new story that, ironically, was started because of my own. See here: James Ray Edward's: Springfield, Ph.D.: A Different Paradigm
While I am happy they began writing this based upon my own story, it makes me feverish to try and improve my style. My story has seen me improve quite a bit, from rustiness to true and solid improvement. It gives a bad first impression, but improves throughout. Makes me worry a bit, mainly those who just read the first chapter and lose interest. worry me most. Chapter Fourty Eight is out, and personally, this chapter gave me plenty of unrest and problems. Not because of the story itself, but life kept getting in the way. Here's a section of it: Spoiler for Chapter 48 slice:
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2010-05-26, 18:00 | Link #92 |
Queen of Tragedy
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Place of rocks and trees, and trees and rocks...and water.
Age: 33
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Chapter 4 mostly continues from Chapter 3, so not much action but lots of character.
Love and Duty Come in Chains Previous chaptersSpoiler for Chapter 4:
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2010-05-26, 23:31 | Link #93 | ||
Zombie Slayer in Training
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Asia
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2010-05-26, 23:37 | Link #94 | ||||
Queen of Tragedy
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Place of rocks and trees, and trees and rocks...and water.
Age: 33
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I warn you, I don't really get why things are happening , as I don't know D&D or what kind of setting that provides, so I'm going on just what I feel as I'm reading.
Intriguing story idea... I'm immediately curious as to how the Dean could be cold enough to allow/command this mission to kill Nodoka--my first thoughts were, what kind of events must have happened in this war to justify murder from the good guys? What's at stake, more than just a vague "one million lives", but something concrete that would have some of the more moral characters even considering such a move? Those are the questions I start thinking of right away , which makes me want to keep reading so I can hopefully get some answers. I also wonder why Setsuna would be missing, and not protecting Konoka...Either she's away by choice (as in, maybe she doesn't agree with what these people are doing), which makes the current group of people pretty hefty bad guys, to force Setsuna to abandon her Ojou-sama; or Setsuna was captured, injured or brainwashed or something. Quote:
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Sorry if some of this is answered already in the sections, as I tried to read the plot narrative but I didn't really get it, so I glossed over those parts . But overall, I find the ideas interesting, but without knowing why any of the Negima cast, who are all idealistic and fiercely loyal to each other, even considering or just allying themselves with people who are plotting to kill one of their friends, keeps me from truly immersing myself into the story. Unless this is a pure AU where the characters all have different backstories that changed their personalities? Quote:
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2010-05-27, 00:44 | Link #95 | |
Immi
Join Date: Dec 2009
Age: 31
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Come to think of it, I believe that part of the reason Konoka's idiocy is more bothersome than Setsuna's is that it's kinda expected for Setsuna to act like an idiot about certain things, and her demon heritage and Konoka are at the top of the list. It's unfair, but it just feels like Konoka is supposed to be the more sensible of the two. Hm. I'm curious now. Do Setsuna's issues with showers have anything to do with the, ah, psycho bitch? Probably completely off the mark, but I just couldn't help asking. Absolutely loved this, and am desperate for more. |
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2010-05-27, 02:18 | Link #96 | ||
Queen of Tragedy
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Place of rocks and trees, and trees and rocks...and water.
Age: 33
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I had mentioned to RB before, but I actually tweaked that scene from where it ended up going just to let Evangeline have that line at the end . It was just too Evangeline to cut out! Quote:
Ah, that's an interesting way to look at it! I guess Konoka does, despite her ditzy depiction in the manga, seem to be more sensible (in terms of "who cares about that? *GLOMPS Set-chan anyways*), but here I have her be more restrained. It might be a tad out of character, but I'm trying to consider some of the backstory elements that I haven't fully revealed yet that have changed Konoka, as well as the obvious marriage to Kyo thing. I'll keep an eye on how I write Konoka, thanks for pointing that out! Spoiler for only read this if you actually want to possibly be spoiled for later on:
Hopefully I can get the next chapter out quickly, but I've got an upcoming midterm...(but then again, exam pressure seems to get me churning out more chapters... )
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2010-05-27, 03:40 | Link #98 | ||||
Senior Member
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Aristodemus is in charge of the whole operation and he can't act on his emotions, something that the dean would understand as well. They both don't want to kill Nodoka, because she is very dear to Negi. But they are in need of aid, since the Old World governments aren't giving them permission to set their own troops on Earth so they could raise enough defensive ability to hold back the Giths. As for Setsuna not being with Konoka, she is away by choice, though not because of the disgust of the superiors, but because of what another OC and fellow guardian of the Konoe family (named Rachel for that matter) said to her. Setsuna was also thinking of taking off herself to find Nodoka and bring her back. No matter how much OOC that is to you, she did want to stay away from Konoka in the story to ensure that she would be happy. Knowing that Konoka would be safe with Rachel standing with her, she thought that she could leave. When I update to chapter 36 (soon), you'll see where she is. Quote:
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2010-05-27, 21:58 | Link #99 | |
Test Drive
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Equally interesting to see that Asuna has put two and two together. She might not be the sharpest character in the set, but when it comes to her friends she makes connections; I'll bet anything that Mana is starting to pick up on the changes too, since she's worked with Setsuna before and knows her well. Also, the opening segment cracked me up in the best way possible. XD There's just something hilarious about the whole kite and rock concept. Gotta admit I'm a bit surprised that none of the other members of the main group have made an appearance. I figured that with Konoka in trouble they'd all come running to her aid. EDIT: .... Bah, okay, I'll say this now because it's seriously bugging me. >>;;;; I get what you're aiming for with the whole KonoSets angle. I really, really do. But for some reason the execution of it just bugs the ever living hell out of me and makes it hard for me to cheer for their happy ending. I mean, the whole issue is a built up case of miscommunications and secrets and attempts to hide true feelings and fear of confiding in each other. I don't care what kind of hell they go through, that kind of base does not make for a healthy, low lasting relationship. I mean, dammit, Konoka, you bitch; I know Setsuna has a guilt streak a mile wide, but really, do you think you're doing her any favors by hiding something she's starting to figure out on her own? Jesus Christ, I want to reach into the screen and throttle her for that moment.
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Last edited by RadiantBeam; 2010-05-27 at 22:10. |
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2010-05-28, 00:17 | Link #100 | ||||
Queen of Tragedy
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Place of rocks and trees, and trees and rocks...and water.
Age: 33
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I giggled as I wrote the kite scene , it was just so silly and tragically lame! Quote:
Even for the possibility of the end of the world, politics come first! Quote:
Technically, at this point I'm not actually trying to get Konoka and Setsuna together . I've got 4 "story-arcs" for this story, if you will, and I'm just about to close on the first arc, which is setting up just how screwed up they all are. The emotion I was trying to express here is that both Konoka and Setsuna had given up hope of a "happy ending", and so they're both just trying to get through life the best they can, and despite the angst even actually enjoying life at times . (Which, of course, will bring us into the next arc where the real angst starts ...) I have to say, personally , that I feel sorrier for Konoka actually...since Setsuna can actually mope around and angst, but Konoka has to show a good face for her new in-law family, for her husband who doesn't deserve to get hated for it and who she actually does like, and ultimately be the one responsible if the Wards crash and screw the world over... I dunno, I suppose that I have a bit more sympathy for Konoka because her behaviour affects many people, while Setsuna only affects herself?
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