Dating

[Kafriel]

To intrude and finalize while adding my personal experience, all topics can be seen as interesting, their time placement being situational. If you've taken out your gf for dinner, you can talk about cuisine, link exotic to traveling abroad, switch to vacations, to games/summer/school/university/politics, etc. Staying on the same subject for too long gets boring eventually, no matter what it is, but during another encounter old topics can be necro'd if you have new or additional information to share. Everyone has peculiar tastes in food, but all people drool for information

[SaintessHeart]

Originally Posted by Ascaloth

Hmmm. I actually do know at least one girl who....

....is a self-trained classical pianist, so none of that. To my surprise, I did learn later on that she also has an interest in non-mainstream rock (Stratovarius' Forever, for one), and Chinese classical opera music. Huh. I'm the Chinese here, and she knows more about the latter than I do.

....likes good food as much as anyone else, but generally isn't too fussy. Doesn't know how to cook though, but it's not like I'm any better in this regard.

....is almost entirely clueless. I've seen her look really good once, but that was the result of the efforts of her far-more-fashionable friend.

....does do that fairly often, now that I think of it. Eyuh.

...that, too. Nobody's perfect, I guess. Mostly the first part though, not quite so much for the latter part of the statement.

....and perhaps the one girl I've found who is like that, isn't even a local. Maybe it's just me, but I think there's a reason for that.

Well, no prizes for guessing which girl I'm talking about.

It is 2.30am! You are supposed to be asleep and dreaming of her!

Originally Posted by RadiantBeam

I'm honestly not a big fan of shopping myself, drive my mother insane, but for me part of the fun of walking through a mall with my family or a group of my friends is less about what I'm buying and more about the bonding time. It's not really about how one thing is cheaper than the other, it's about spending time with your friends, hanging out, and just in general reinforcing that bond, even over something as boring (to me) as shopping.

Well, despite my protests, my guy friends would constantly drag me out when the girls organise an outing. I understand their desires to see the girls because they look pretty (never triggered me though, I like cute ones), but they would be a totally different group from the girls when we are walking around : the girls would talk about all sorts of brands and what kind of nice clothes they saw at which mall, while we guys would be talking about the DOTA match we ended halfway through so we can see the pretty girls shop.

And a few more things I would point out about girls :

1. They would wear spaghetti straps and tubes, then complain about how cold the cinema is.

2. They would wear skirts without shorts underneath, stand near transparent railings or the side of the escalators where I could see rainbow colours, but sit cross-legged at a fast-food restaurant.

3. They wear tight fitting clothes and give a angry look if we guys stare at their breasts.

And the most epic of all, they ask if they look fat, but no matter what answer we give, even the "don't know", "huh?" or pretense not to hear, they get offended. There is no right answer to the question!

Seriously, these things are just beyond me.

[Narona]

Originally Posted by SaintessHeart

How can planned shopping trips be exciting? Wherever there is a group outing, we guys would always be the ones waiting outside stores while the girls just spend half-an-hour inside, spend up to $50-$100 on clothes they wear only once or twice.

And there is lingerie shopping. It is beyond me why girls would spend a two digit sum over a piece of undergarment that is never seen worn, or why they would actually want the guys to follow them into the store (can't we just wait outside with the rest of your shopping?).

Money aside. It's not that different from people who do videogames shopping, or somebody who's interested in movies. It's a hobby. Now not all the girls buy clothes that they will wear only once or twice.

Well, some girls just enjoy wearing things and don't care if no one else will see them wearing them. Simple as that. (not all the girls do that, but I would say that usually it's a message (conscious or not) telling to the boy that she wants him to get involved in her life. If it's her BF, she could also consider that his opinion counts even on that.)

Most of all, shopping online is significantly cheaper than buying from store, yet it eludes me why girls would actually want to spend an hour walking around an entire mall just for a tank top that can be found in most blogshops. *facepalm*

Walking is good for the health!

Thank goodness for the PSP. But one more thing, Hatsune Miku is a virtual character, why get jealous over her just because your boyfriend says she's cute? *facepalm*

If a girl feels threathened by a fictional character, it could mean that she's insecure about herself. Again, it can be a message sends to the boy meaning "i need you to say that you like me".

(I know what you will say, Girls better be direct about what they feel and think, but sometimes it's not even something they do consciously)

Finally : I find girls skip Physical Education lessons more often and berate us guys for tracking mud into the class after a game of soccer, but yet they are always complaining that they are fat and couldn't fit into the clothes they bought a long time ago. Interestingly, they actually remembered when they bought the clothes when we have never seen them wear it before

Skipping soccer? I don't see any problem to that

Now doing a bit of sport is good, I agree on that. No need to overdo it and if you do it as a "hobby", no one can force you to do something even if it means going to soccer (because you like soccer) training just to do one or two exercices you like while not participating in matchs. Now it's not the same thing if you do it in a professional club (bleh, I would never want to experience that. I don't want to imagine the Hell it can be). /OT

[Kaijo]

Originally Posted by Narona

Do people who are really in love really wonder if they will be able to control their mate or not in some ways? You could say the same about diploma or money. It would be terrible to date a poor person just because you know you could use money as a mean to control/force her/him. That's not what I call Love...

But maybe I misunderstand what you say

Perhaps I didn't explain it well enough. Let me see if I can approach it in a different way.

We all want someone who "fits" us. There is no perfect person, so we look for someone we can mold, but we also know that we ourselves don't want to change much. So we look for someone who seems likely that we can mold to fit us; generally the more intelligent someone is, the more they can resist being molded. It's easier to mold someone who isn't quite as... there.

But this is only on a general level. I prize intelligence myself, so the women I am drawn to are the smarter ones, heh.

[Ascaloth]

Originally Posted by SaintessHeart

It is 2.30am! You are supposed to be asleep and dreaming of her!

And what the hell do you think you're doing up yourself, sonny?

[cheyannew]

Originally Posted by Kaijo

Perhaps I didn't explain it well enough. Let me see if I can approach it in a different way.

We all want someone who "fits" us. There is no perfect person, so we look for someone we can mold, but we also know that we ourselves don't want to change much. So we look for someone who seems likely that we can mold to fit us; generally the more intelligent someone is, the more they can resist being molded. It's easier to mold someone who isn't quite as... there.

But this is only on a general level. I prize intelligence myself, so the women I am drawn to are the smarter ones, heh.

o.O Why would you want to mold someone, as opposed to simply wanting them for who they are?
That seems a smidge silly to me.
And if your mate doesn't meet all of your needs, and they're kosher with it, bring in a third, fourth or whatever. I fail to see why anyone should have to be "molded".

[Kafriel]

And a few more things I would point out about girls :

1. They would wear spaghetti straps and tubes, then complain about how cold the cinema is.

2. They would wear skirts without shorts underneath, stand near transparent railings or the side of the escalators where I could see rainbow colours, but sit cross-legged at a fast-food restaurant.

3. They wear tight fitting clothes and give a angry look if we guys stare at their breasts.

And the most epic of all, they ask if they look fat, but no matter what answer we give, even the "don't know", "huh?" or pretense not to hear, they get offended. There is no right answer to the question!

Seriously, these things are just beyond me.

About clothing: Girls love showing off, but at the same time worry about their dignity being undermined...hence the insecurity that brings questions of the fat type, in which case you must say........endure

Walking is good for the health!

Yet girls don't walk with me

videogames shopping

Does not compute but yeah, guys can go to the movies, electronics store, TCG/figurine stores, whatever. Same way girls talk about fashion, guys talk about technology.

Yeah so I bought that awesome new processor, now my PC can run super windows EX 2 plus in just 30 seconds and with new monolithic kernels I don't have to worry about time allocation for multitasking!

...or something like that

And what the hell do you think you're doing up yourself, sonny?

different timezones ftw^^

[cheyannew]

Originally Posted by SaintessHeart

And a few more things I would point out about girls :

1. They would wear spaghetti straps and tubes, then complain about how cold the cinema is.

2. They would wear skirts without shorts underneath, stand near transparent railings or the side of the escalators where I could see rainbow colours, but sit cross-legged at a fast-food restaurant.

3. They wear tight fitting clothes and give a angry look if we guys stare at their breasts.

And the most epic of all, they ask if they look fat, but no matter what answer we give, even the "don't know", "huh?" or pretense not to hear, they get offended. There is no right answer to the question!

Seriously, these things are just beyond me.

Those are mind games that some insecure females play (and before you jump on me, bear in mind I'm a female, ok?)

I can't do mind games; they're a waste of time and energy, and I avoid people who play them.
If I walk into a game store wearing a babydoll tee and jeans, and the entire place DOESN'T go quiet as the (sorry) geeks in there stare, I have obviously done something wrong. I'm not bigbusted by any stretch of the imagination, but there's certain clothes you cannot ignore boobs in. And you cannot possibly get offended when someone looks. Now, STARES at them instead of looking you in the eye when talking, yes, that will peeve me off and I'll call someone out on it. But to glance, at least? Pfft; *I* do it, as I appreciate a nice body as much as any guy.

And if you're cold bring a bloody sweater otr something, ffs. Common sense is a dying art. Sweaters can be tres sexy too.

[SaintessHeart]

Originally Posted by Ascaloth

And what the hell do you think you're doing up yourself, sonny?

I am an insomniac with elevated haemoglobin levels. I sleep less than 5 hours per day.

Originally Posted by Narona

Money aside. It's not that different from people who do videogames shopping, or somebody who's interested in movies. It's a hobby. Now not all the girls buy clothes that they will wear only once or twice.

Well, some girls just enjoy wearing things and don't care if no one else will see them wearing them. Simple as that. (not all the girls do that, but I would say that usually it's a message (conscious or not) telling to the boy that she wants him to get involved in her life. If it's her BF, she could also consider that his opinion counts even on that.)

I had the same answer from the more open girls. But I never understood the "enjoyment out of wearing things" part.

Walking is good for the health!

Then why skip the PE lessons? That weekly dose of soccer (sometimes turning into rugby halfway through the match where some sporty guy on a high would grab the ball and start playing rugby, and the rest would try and tackle him) is much more healthier!

If a girl feels threathened by a fictional character, it could mean that she's insecure about herself. Again, it can be a message sends to the boy meaning "i need you to say that you like me".

(I know what you will say, Girls better be direct about what they feel and think, but sometimes it's not even something they do consciously)

Won't it be easier to just say it using the mouth? And what is the point of getting angrier at a guy who can't guess such an oblique hint, then calling him stupid?

Skipping soccer? I don't see any problem to that

Now doing a bit of sport is good, I agree on that. No need to overdo it and if you do it as a "hobby", no one can force you to do something even if it means going to soccer (because you like soccer) training just to do one or two exercices you like while not participating in matchs. Now it's not the same thing if you do it in a professional club (bleh, I would never want to experience that. I don't want to imagine the Hell it can be). /OT

What I actually meant was, why complain about growing fat when you girls have been skipping all that P.E classes?

Seriously, I somehow seem to feel that the most mysterious, yet most dangerous, problematic and troublesome creature in this world, is called the girl. Even though I have female friends, interacting with them, most of the time, can be a real headache because of all the abovementioned. Though annoying and their actions make little logical sense, for a few it makes them, in my opinion, look cute at times.

For example : there is once where I went out with a group of friends, and this girl was wearing an entirely white dress-shirt with a blue bra, with one of the straps being pink. I commented on it, and she blew up in my face. Literally. Instead of being my usual self where I would talk back in that "I was just pointing that out." tone of voice, I just said off the very top of my mind, "You look cute when you are angry."

I got a slap for being honest.

[Kaijo]

Originally Posted by cheyannew

o.O Why would you want to mold someone, as opposed to simply wanting them for who they are?
That seems a smidge silly to me.
And if your mate doesn't meet all of your needs, and they're kosher with it, bring in a third, fourth or whatever. I fail to see why anyone should have to be "molded".

Who says it can't be both? We are all different, and any good relationship needs a number of compromises to work. Even more so when you start living together.

He can no longer go out most nights to the bar.

She has to watch her spending.

He has to keep his socks off the floor.

She has to not spend so much time on the phone.

Etc.

Logic dictates that most people don't want to change much of themselves; they want to keep doing everything they were doing before, but it never quite works out that way. You have to compromise in order to have a relationship, so people seek out the path of least resistance, ie, someone who will let me keep doing as much of what I want to, without too many changes.

It's the idealistic world that says two people will find the perfect person who loves them for who they are, and so neither one needs to change a bit.

I live in the more pragmatic and realistic world (perhaps cynical).

Stressing again that this is just on a general, subconscious level, so not everyone is like this. But I find it's important to be aware of these kinds of impulses within me, and accept them, so I don't let them control me.

[Kafriel]

Won't it be easier to just say it using the mouth?

THIS is why the majority of romantic anime male leads are portraited as clueless.

I got a slap for being honest.

Girls are shy~

[SaintessHeart]

Originally Posted by Kafriel

Girls are shy~

As of today, she is still waging a cold war against me, blocked me on messenger, ignores me where there are class gatherings. And that is 3 years already. But she is really cute when she is angry, and she isn't a bad girl at all, though abit of a shotacon and a glutton when it comes to dianxin.

Women. They are nothing but trouble. I take that back! I take that back! Don't click the report button!

[cheyannew]

Originally Posted by Kaijo

Who says it can't be both? We are all different, and any good relationship needs a number of compromises to work. Even more so when you start living together.

He can no longer go out most nights to the bar.

She has to watch her spending.

He has to keep his socks off the floor.

She has to not spend so much time on the phone.

Etc.

Logic dictates that most people don't want to change much of themselves; they want to keep doing everything they were doing before, but it never quite works out that way. You have to compromise in order to have a relationship, so people seek out the path of least resistance, ie, someone who will let me keep doing as much of what I want to, without too many changes.

It's the idealistic world that says two people will find the perfect person who loves them for who they are, and so neither one needs to change a bit.

I live in the more pragmatic and realistic world (perhaps cynical).

Stressing again that this is just on a general, subconscious level, so not everyone is like this. But I find it's important to be aware of these kinds of impulses within me, and accept them, so I don't let them control me.

Ahh, see I find there to be a difference between MOLDING someone and them just changing habits on their own. Molding sounds, to me, like you're trying to MAKE your partner change to please you. That doens't work so well, as opposed to them CHOOSING to do it on their own,

[Kafriel]

ignores me where there are class gatherings.

ouch...but that's tsundere for you! ...or at least you can hope so

[Tsuyoshi]

Originally Posted by SaintessHeart

I had the same answer from the more open girls. But I never understood the "enjoyment out of wearing things" part.

Guys sometimes buy clothes for the sake of wearing them because they simply look good. Girls do the same thing. I sometimes wear something because I feel it looks good on my or I at least like it a lot. It's only understandable that girls like to do it too. Also, taking her out shopping is a great idea for a date :P (although as a guy, I would probably hate it....or...not.....idk )

Originally Posted by SaintessHeart

Then why skip the PE lessons? That weekly dose of soccer (sometimes turning into rugby halfway through the match where some sporty guy on a high would grab the ball and start playing rugby, and the rest would try and tackle him) is much more healthier

Well, for one thing, I don't like shopping online for clothes (as rarely as I do that, but anyways) because I want to know what the garment feels like, how well it fits me and how it looks on me. You can't do that online very well because if it doesn't really fit you, you have to go through all the trouble of sending it back. You don't have to do that in a shop. And yes, if you walk in addition to your PE sessions, then it's even better. There's also the fact that once you reach uni, you don't have PE anymore (at least here in Europe).

Originally Posted by SaintessHeart

Won't it be easier to just say it using the mouth? And what is the point of getting angrier at a guy who can't guess such an oblique hint, then calling him stupid?

Maybe they're just shy. Maybe it's a test for compatibility. Maybe they want us to be the hunters and to affirm that we are interested in them by being the first to say it. Who knows? What gives? JUST DO IT.

Originally Posted by SaintessHeart

What I actually meant was, why complain about growing fat when you girls have been skipping all that P.E classes?

I knew girls who'd never skip those classes if their life depended on them. At least when I was in Saudi, you could get punished pretty badly for skipping so many classes and your grades wouldn't look good, so no skipping for them.

Originally Posted by SaintessHeart

For example : there is once where I went out with a group of friends, and this girl was wearing an entirely white dress-shirt with a blue bra, with one of the straps being pink. I commented on it, and she blew up in my face. Literally. Instead of being my usual self where I would talk back in that "I was just pointing that out." tone of voice, I just said off the very top of my mind, "You look cute when you are angry."

I got a slap for being honest.

For reasons I won't disclose, that might sound like something only a perv would say. Or an otaku. Oh....wait.....

[Kaijo]

Originally Posted by cheyannew

Ahh, see I find there to be a difference between MOLDING someone and them just changing habits on their own. Molding sounds, to me, like you're trying to MAKE your partner change to please you. That doens't work so well, as opposed to them CHOOSING to do it on their own,

Hrm, not quite. Consider this:

Girl: "Could you put your socks in the hamper instead of the floor?"

Guy: "they get there, eventually."

Girl: "Could you just not leave them on the floor, please?"

Guy: *sighs* "Alright."

Guy has just been molded. Although you could say he chose to as well. Contrast that with a guy finding a girl who doesn't mind his socks on the floor.

[Haruka_Kitten]

Originally Posted by SaintessHeart

And the most epic of all, they ask if they look fat, but no matter what answer we give, even the "don't know", "huh?" or pretense not to hear, they get offended. There is no right answer to the question!

I think, to be honest, there isn't a single man still alive who has said "yes".

Originally Posted by SaintessHeart

For example : there is once where I went out with a group of friends, and this girl was wearing an entirely white dress-shirt with a blue bra, with one of the straps being pink. I commented on it, and she blew up in my face. Literally. Instead of being my usual self where I would talk back in that "I was just pointing that out." tone of voice, I just said off the very top of my mind, "You look cute when you are angry."

I got a slap for being honest.

Things you never say to a girl...you can get away with "you look cute in that dress", but I don't think you should play on emotions.

Originally Posted by SaintessHeart

As of today, she is still waging a cold war against me, blocked me on messenger, ignores me where there are class gatherings. And that is 3 years already. But she is really cute when she is angry, and she isn't a bad girl at all, though abit of a shotacon and a glutton when it comes to dianxin.

Women. They are nothing but trouble. I take that back! I take that back! Don't click the report button!

I won't. It is a rather long time since the incident, no? Maybe she need a bit of...well hang on a minute, 3 years. She's still mad? Not even I hold the grudge against someone that long, and I'm the local champion of having the shortest temper in all of the Western Suburbs (self-proclaimed).

[Narona]

Originally Posted by SaintessHeart

I had the same answer from the more open girls. But I never understood the "enjoyment out of wearing things" part.

Now see it the other way. Most girls don't understand how boys can get all excited in front of a soccer match. What's so exciting in watching people running after a ball and doing weird celebration with gay tendencies when the ball ends up in a stupid cage?

Then why skip the PE lessons? That weekly dose of soccer (sometimes turning into rugby halfway through the match where some sporty guy on a high would grab the ball and start playing rugby, and the rest would try and tackle him) is much more healthier!

That can be for various reasons. I'll explain some below.

Won't it be easier to just say it using the mouth? And what is the point of getting angrier at a guy who can't guess such an oblique hint, then calling him stupid?

You, boys, should feel good about it, we, girls, expect you to be smart. Smart enough to understand us!

What I actually meant was, why complain about growing fat when you girls have been skipping all that P.E classes?

Various reasons. It can be

- Because they dislike the sports involved.
- Because the PE teacher/coach is a retard (from their pov of course)
- Because some girls care about their body. I can understand those girls because I am part of them. I do some sport but the way I want and I don't listen to any people ordering me things. Understand that it's not always so simple as wanting it or not. For example, depending on how big your chest is, you have to avoid some sports (or to not do much things when practicing them. Like doing one or two exercices only with the others or not, because the girl knows it would not cause her any damage if she avoid some exercices and movements. Some girls do that. Usually when they just want to follow some friends who practice said sport. The difference with school or professionnal clubs is that in an amateur/hobby club no one can force you to do something you don't want. You pay for it, so you can do what you want. And if the coach bitches about it, then he's an idiot because it's just practiced as a hobby) because if you don't, even with a perfect sport bra, you might damage your chest. Some damages can't be undone I don't think men can imagine how it can be hard, for some, to take care of breasts properly (even more if the girl has a big chest). Anyway, I could write tons of page about things like that but I don't think you care about it
- Because of many other reasons i guess.

Seriously, I somehow seem to feel that the most mysterious, yet most dangerous, problematic and troublesome creature in this world, is called the girl. Even though I have female friends, interacting with them, most of the time, can be a real headache because of all the abovementioned. Though annoying and their actions make little logical sense, for a few it makes them, in my opinion, look cute at times.

Sure, but as it is said by William de Baskerville in The Name of the Rose about women

I find it difficult to convince myself that God would have introduced such a foul being into creation without endowing her with some virtues

And regarding Love

How peaceful life would be without love, Adso. How safe, how tranquil... and how dull

For example : there is once where I went out with a group of friends, and this girl was wearing an entirely white dress-shirt with a blue bra, with one of the straps being pink. I commented on it, and she blew up in my face. Literally. Instead of being my usual self where I would talk back in that "I was just pointing that out." tone of voice, I just said off the very top of my mind, "You look cute when you are angry."

I got a slap for being honest.

You mean you could see her bra through her dress?

[SaintessHeart]

Originally Posted by Narona

Now see it the other way. Most girls don't understand how boys can get all excited in front of a soccer match. What's so exciting in watching people running after a ball and doing weird celebration with gay tendencies when the ball ends up in a stupid cage?

I don't watch soccer much myself, but I do watch major leagues and cups like the Euro and World.

I see the soccer field as a battlefield, like in the C&C games. Tactics, strategy, style....it is all so interesting, but hard to put in words. And hugging each other and throwing each other around after winning a match isn't gay, this is termed "a victory parade of a brotherhood". And to quote

He who toiled, sweated and bled with me, is he not anything but a brother?

You, boys, should feel good about it, we, girls, expect you to be smart. Smart enough to understand us!

But how is SMART has got to be related to such an OBLIQUE, nonsensical hint that points nowhere? Besides, Miku is cute! But she is still a virtual character! Only another real girl can take your place beside that guy!

Various reasons. It can be

- Because they dislike the sports involved.
- Because the PE teacher/coach is a retard (from their pov of course)
- Because some girls care about their body. I can understand those girls because I am part of them. I do some sport but the way I want and I don't listen to any people ordering me things. Understand that it's not always so simple as wanting it or not. For example, depending on how big your chest is, you have to avoid some sports (or to not do much things when practicing them. Liek doing one of two exercice with the others "only", because she knows it would not cause her any damage. Some girls do that. Usually when they just want to follow some friends who practice said sport. The difference with school or professionnal clubs is that in an amateur/hobby club no one can force you to do something you don't want. You pay for it, so you can do what you want. And if the coach bitches about it, then he's an idiot because it's just practiced as a hobby) because if you don't, even with a perfect sport bra, you might damage your chest. Some damages can't be undone I don't think men can imagine how it is hard to take care of breasts properly (even more if the girl has a big chest). Anyway, I could write tons of page about things like that but I don't think you care about it
- Because of many other reasons i guess.

TBH, I don't exactly understand why any of the reasons has got anything to do with playing sports, other than the boobs part. But you girls have to understand that if you have big sized boobs, they serve as extra motivation for us to train harder and build those muscles you girls like to look at.

Sure, but as it is said by William de Baskerville in The Name of the Rose

I find it difficult to convince myself that God would have introduced such a foul being into creation without endowing her with some virtues

And regarding Love

How peaceful life would be without love, Adso. How safe, how tranquil... and how dull

Very, very true. I can't argue with those quotes.

You mean you could see her bra beneath her dress?

It is a WHITE dress. Of course I can see the wrong colour combination! Different frequencies of light permeate through different kinds of membranes.

Originally Posted by Kafriel

ouch...but that's tsundere for you! ...or at least you can hope so

Well I guess that is a life lesson for me. She could have been the 6th girl which I date (most likely rejected again though), and now she is shooting all that "I HATE YOU" glare everytime we meet during gatherings.

Funny I never harboured a grudge against her. Maybe because I actually liked her.

20 years down the road when I am an affluent bachelor, I am going to sit down, look back at this, and LAUGH.

[Kafriel]

Ahh, see I find there to be a difference between MOLDING someone and them just changing habits on their own. Molding sounds, to me, like you're trying to MAKE your partner change to please you. That doens't work so well, as opposed to them CHOOSING to do it on their own,

People aren't psychics, you need to tell them that something bothers you before they can choose to change that. Pushing too much and subjugating them is molding. Pointing in the right direction and letting them act as they will is...well, letting them choose.

Well I guess that is a life lesson for me. She could have been the 6th girl which I date (most likely rejected again though), and now she is shooting all that "I HATE YOU" glare everytime we meet during gatherings.

Funny I never harboured a grudge against her. Maybe because I actually liked her.

20 years down the road when I am an affluent bachelor, I am going to sit down, look back at this, and LAUGH.

True grudges are rare, girls just die of guilt thinking how their actions can ruin YOUR life. Just playing mad is a good way to tell you that she doesn't want you around (mainly because of fear/insecurity that you will cause another awkward situation for her). You can always be straightforward and ask her if she hates your guts, but I'd take that as psychological warfare and then her female friends would make your life a living hell....
laughing yet?