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Old 2007-05-21, 11:24   Link #281
LoweGear
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kha View Post
@Lowe: I can see it now... The thick red cream sloshing lovingly... The perfect garnishes... The rich scent of BEET... OH it could even beguil Angels to feast upon it! Such pefection... How can it exist in these mortal worlds...!



This thread for a second I thought the thread died. Turns out there was no need to Seed Bluecheesium.

But since I already have, you know what comes next. Cheestalyst Missile launched!

---New intelligence data updated---

Kha has few magic that is derived from his core, as Reactive Linker Cores tend to be very weak being so dispersed. Therefore, the only Old Velka battle styles that he could learn were from the movement techniques; the Japanese analog would be Taijutsu. Out of the psionic techniques (somewhat analogous to Genjutsu, but its not just mind tricks), Kha only can perform telepathy and he can do none of the magic techniques (analogous to Ninjutsu). To make up for his shortfalls, Kha trained hard and by the time he became a Meister, he had fully mastered all the various schools of movement techniques that the instructors, all non-AVKs, at Saint Church could teach. Even then, he still roams in his free time to find other former AVKs and learn more about this dying art of combat.

While his core is used to direct and spark off his spells, most of the power in his spells are derived directly from the Light, so he must tread carefully, for if he falls out of favour with the Light, he must atone for his sins or remain next to powerless.
Spoiler for Standard Skills:
Spoiler for Seals (Dichtung):
Spoiler for Blessings (Segen):
Spoiler for Auras:


Whiffy.
That's not a Cheesetalyst Missile you dropped there... that's a full fledged Liquid Bluecheesium Bomb

Anyways, I smell DoTA in these spells (who wouldn't, with the blatant Divine Rapier rip ), especially with the Standard Attacks and Auras, which are qute well thought out btw. (Replacement sounds awfully lot Nether Swap, one of my faveorite abilities )

Also, Confession's chant eerily reminds me of Ai Enma's unholy-c***-you're-dead chant

And is it me, or despite your descriptions of him, I still imagine Kha as a Grey Knight from the Ordo Malleus?
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Old 2007-05-21, 12:36   Link #282
Meophist
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This is what happens when I get bored, unfortunally. Apologies in advance.

Now for something completely different:
Spoiler for length:
Also from a game I designed. Kinda wierd, but also kinda boring.
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Old 2007-05-21, 14:50   Link #283
Kha
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LoweGear View Post
That's not a Cheesetalyst Missile you dropped there... that's a full fledged Liquid Bluecheesium Bomb

Anyways, I smell DoTA in these spells (who wouldn't, with the blatant Divine Rapier rip ), especially with the Standard Attacks and Auras, which are qute well thought out btw. (Replacement sounds awfully lot Nether Swap, one of my faveorite abilities )

Also, Confession's chant eerily reminds me of Ai Enma's unholy-c***-you're-dead chant

And is it me, or despite your descriptions of him, I still imagine Kha as a Grey Knight from the Ordo Malleus?
It was made from all the extra words from all the little posts I made since the last detonation, and then they sorta chain-reacted.

Indeed like Keroko, the Warcraft series plays a heavy role here. All of Kha's non-standards and some of the standard ones were inspired by the World of Warcraft Paladin's. Replacement just happened to sound like Swap, but its main use is to replace friendly heroes. Guardian Angel came from Omniknight and I resisted the temptation to quote Degeneration Aura as one of the Auras. Divine Rapier is my favorite holy weapon btw, and when Sakura materializes the Divine Rapier, it looks just like the one on Azeroth.

"Confession" WAS based on Enma's chant, with a sudden twist at the end.

Well probably. Kha wasn't based on them, but with my preference for spears, quasi-holiness and devotion to healing mixed with the high-tech Nanohaverse, similarities start to appear. Before long, a coincidence ballooned into a reference, so I can't blame you.

Spoiler for the Holy Velka Imperiallon:


Now I've really gone crazy.

@Meophist: Can I review yours tmr? I'm dead tired now...
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Last edited by Kha; 2007-05-22 at 00:34.
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Old 2007-05-21, 15:08   Link #284
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kha View Post
@Meophist: Can I review yours tmr? I'm dead tired now...
Umm… sure? You don't have to if you don't want to.
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Old 2007-05-21, 15:23   Link #285
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Meophist View Post
Now for something completely different:

(snip)

Also from a game I designed. Kinda wierd, but also kinda boring.
Hm. I have to wonder: what sort of role would she have in stories? It seems like she might suffer from the Superman syndrome: being far too powerful to be seriously challenged by anything outside of character development.
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Old 2007-05-21, 15:37   Link #286
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dkellis View Post
Hm. I have to wonder: what sort of role would she have in stories? It seems like she might suffer from the Superman syndrome: being far too powerful to be seriously challenged by anything outside of character development.
In the game, she basically just dies before she could do much, but sends a chain reaction that all of the other characters have to deal with. Here, I was thinking she rebels, but haven't quite thought it through yet.

Edit: In any case, somebody complained that my last two characters were too weak, so I wanted to see how it would be to create a strong character.

Last edited by Meophist; 2007-05-21 at 15:56.
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Old 2007-05-21, 16:14   Link #287
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David Brown, Weapon of the STAB

Rebuilt of Turmoil


Name: David Brown
Nickname: The Storm that Brings Turmoil
Affiliation: Space-Time Administration Bureau
Age: 26
Gender: male
Racial Classification: Earth Human
Magic-user Type: Neo-Belkan/support mage
Magic-user Rank: B+
Height: 6’3”
Weight: 182lbs
Hair Colour: red, streaked with metallic grey
Eye Colour: steel grey. David wears Glasses

David is Right handed

Basic Outfit: Usually appears in reproductions of Common Earth Clothing, usually jeans or cargo pants, t-shirt, woollen pullover in colder weather. Almost always wears Black vest/bodywarmer for the sake of the extra pockets. Commonly seen in a grey scarf that seems to be a trademark item of sorts. Favours heavy boots for footwear.

Barrier Jacket: as might be expected of a mage whose former profession was mostly medical, the Bureau medical uniform forms a part of David’s Barrier jacket design, retaining the white lab coat style over a more subdued bodysuit similar to that affected by the Numbers in a darker grey and Navy blue scheme. Over his torso he continues to wear a reproduction of his vest/bodywarmer, with it’s many pockets loaded with various additional non-magical medical supplies. He also retains his grey scarf. Because when he does enter combat he favours melee combat, his Barrier jacket favours reinforced armour pauldrons, bracers, gauntlets and greaves, to allow him to use his whole body both to defend and attack.

Armed/Boost Device: Grey Turmoil


Built to cater to David’s use of melee combat when he is forced to fight, Grey Turmoil, his Boost Device, has been reformatted to favour an armed device form, a
Heavy bladed single edge sword with an esoteric angular blade and a cutlass type hand guard. Displays secondary Tonfa grip as rear quillion. Scabbard attaches to left forearm for use as secondary physical shield/parry buckler.

Personality:
Dour, distant and brooding are the words most people immediately want to use when they first set eyes on the subject, but they’re almost always forced to re-evaluate once he actually speaks. While he may look distracted and sour (with reason, I hasten to add), in truth, that’s merely an illusion. If there is in fact one word that does sum him up, it's 'bemused'.

On the other hand, he’s actually doing and seeing things he’d never have believed possible within his lifetime. While occasionally memories of his past can cloud his thoughts, this usually passes quickly, especially when he’s confronted with some of the amazing and unearthly sights he’s been able to see since leaving Earth and stepping out into the larger dimensional world. In his own words: “ This…is everything I always used to dream of when I read Sci-fi back as a kid…strange new worlds…new life and new civilisations…ok, it’s not exactly ‘where no one has gone before’, but still…golden cities far…”

As a result, his single biggest Gripe with the Space Time Administration Bureau’s higher ups is that they tried to keep him from seeing those sights at all, and it’s still something of a sore point with him.

History:

Spoiler for history and information:


Spoiler for Spell list:

Last edited by stormturmoil; 2008-04-24 at 16:29. Reason: Continuing evolution
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Old 2007-05-22, 02:38   Link #288
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stormturmoil View Post
I spy a slight problem with NonaHa already...

Spoiler for punchline:



Before anyone says it, now I've read some of this forum, I notice some similarites with other peoples characters here. I actually wrote this before reading this, so maybe great minds do think alike. In particular, Kha's 'reactive Linker Cores' strikes me as similar, and Aurion has some similar traits.

As for the rest, some of the pieces are easy to trace, others are just words wrapped around a concept.

On the subject of Aurion, given his possession of a similar charateristic to my character, he too would probably able to wield the supplemental device if pushed.
- Vita would only refer to Nona as 'her'...

- for the reactive core- he partially got that from me- since initially he had no idea, then after reading the 'dual core' he thought of [kor fusion] and then after hearing the 'reactive' (tech and theory based from another anime that whose ideas and concepts had potential in the nanohaverse) , he changed it to a reactive core with fusion - that reminds me, must update ashton's profile

- well, that because some of the characters here are placed in active works in FF.net- Kha for instance is in my Fic AlternateS
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Old 2007-05-22, 02:58   Link #289
Kha
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Meophist View Post
Now for something completely different:
Spoiler for length:
Also from a game I designed. Kinda wierd, but also kinda boring.
You certainly made her superhuman. Mind boggling, can't really think of what challenge to give her. A bit like...

Quote:
Originally Posted by stormturmoil View Post
I spy a slight problem with NonaHa already...

Spoiler for punchline:



On to other matters, and getting on topic, my first character for this kind of thing

Spoiler for long. general info:


Spoiler for long. specific info, and supplemental item info:


Spoiler for long. recent history and background:


Before anyone says it, now I've read some of this forum, I notice some similarites with other peoples characters here. I actually wrote this before reading this, so maybe great minds do think alike. In particular, Kha's 'reactive Linker Cores' strikes me as similar, and Aurion has some similar traits.

As for the rest, some of the pieces are easy to trace, others are just words wrapped around a concept.

On the subject of Aurion, given his possession of a similar charateristic to my character, he too would probably able to wield the supplemental device if pushed.
... Max Steel here.

Another super DPS character. And a creepy Trump card to be kept under wraps at all costs, but I also left wondering how much of him is human? A bit like the Heero Yuy scenario, that's how'd I develop this war machine. While he blows things up, things happen in his brief contact with society that allows exploration of how much of him is him, and what is his reactions about it. Unfortunately, my Tomino-loving side always gets these kind of characters to be the ones to die while taking the whole world down with them.

The Reactive Linker Core is different from your nanite scattered variation, in that there's a very minute core, but the maximum boundaries of the Core is actually outside of the body, in a invisible mana rich field for as far as 50m in diameter. It is fluctuations in this field that gives Kha some of his abilities and weaknesses. And yes the idea started with a misread of X's fic, and after rolling down the hill look what it turned into.

Hmm what in this crate? *poke*

---New intelligence data updated---

These are Kha's new friends. I've successfully resisted the urge to kill them off, and so here they are alive and well in StrikerS, with a part to play in the refounding of the Holy Velka Nation of Saint Church. As they are not official TSAB officers, they do not have a rank other than the one given by the Church.

Traditional AVKs operate in 3 man cells called a "Trinity". Some modifications include an additional Confessor leader (Hayate's role) attached to a lead Trinity who is in command of 3 Trinity, as well as a Guardian Beast (Zafira's role) to each Trinity.

Sacred-commanders like Kha's mother take charge of 3 Confessors, there-in-by leading 9 Trinity. A Wing is made up of a Wing Commander in charge of 3 Sacred-commanders therefore is constituted by 27 Trinity.

The title Optimus is given to the best of the Trinity units, a bit like the Ace title granted to top agents of the TSAB.

Kha is the Left-Forward.

Spoiler for Right-Forward of 21st Trinity Optimus:
Spoiler for Center-back of 21st Trinity Optimus:
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Last edited by Kha; 2007-06-10 at 23:55.
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Old 2007-05-22, 03:09   Link #290
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I just had to do this, and knock the heads off a couple of infinite librarians just to present this little scrap of data.

Spoiler for Ashton Marten: New Info Added.:


- Note: i'm going to do a completed profile posting once i'm done with the details
- Add: some OP song adaptations are in order as well
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Old 2007-05-22, 03:15   Link #291
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@Saint X Dang that is a cool idea
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Old 2007-05-22, 03:43   Link #292
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Hay just giving a heads up to all of you expert character designers on here (that is not Sarcasm I am serious you guys are really awesome). Sometime within roughly the next 24-36 hours I will be posting my character ^^ I truly look forward to your impute and comments.

I post this for two reasons 1. I am a little nervous about posting him. 2. if I don't put a time frame for the posting down I will end up never posting it at all due to reason 1
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Old 2007-05-22, 03:56   Link #293
Kha
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Originally Posted by Ratler View Post
Hay just giving a heads up to all of you expert character designers on here (that is not Sarcasm I am serious you guys are really awesome). Sometime within roughly the next 24-36 hours I will be posting my character ^^ I truly look forward to your impute and comments.

I post this for two reasons 1. I am a little nervous about posting him. 2. if I don't put a time frame for the posting down I will end up never posting it at all due to reason 1
Hurry up and get it posted. Not the time for some Teana-ism!
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Old 2007-05-22, 04:01   Link #294
Ratler
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Hurry up and get it posted. Not the time for some Teana-ism!
Teana-ism.... SNAP... well there went my brain (so by that do you mean hesitating or am I really that out of it)

ok Kha you win Ill go organize it now and hopefully not fall asleep on my keyboard.
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Old 2007-05-22, 04:18   Link #295
LoweGear
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@ Kha:

Nice nice profiles there, although I have to ask...

Do those Confessors also grant Tiberium immunity? Seriously, love the detail on the AVK's you put there.

Anyways, I dig these two very much, somehow Sofia's blindness makes her appealing already. Although I wasn't really sure how to react when I read this line on Artei's profile:

Quote:
He made the serious error of putting the moves on Sophia, who didn’t take him well from first sight at all.
I tell ya, blind women see a whole lot more than we do

Speaking of that nutso, Artei is likable already, gives off that Kurz Weber vibe while being totally awesome

Waiting to see their spell lists, and of course more of the dynamics of the 21st

----------------------------

@ Saint X: I just hope Yuuno wasn't one of those librarians...

Anyways, intriguing idea there, especially the concept of an ancient "living weapon" so to speak, although more detail appreciated

--------------------------

@ Ratler: Yes Ratler, no time to go Teana on us, just post em all, let us sort it out

-------------------------
Since I'm on a roll, here's Kay's Biography, AI Part IV , covering some trivia on the AI's.

Spoiler for length:


With Kay's ginormous profile almost finished, I'll be moving on to my next character soon enough, to give more light on his involvement with Kaylin. Stay tuned
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Old 2007-05-22, 05:08   Link #296
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Ok here he is ^^
*Activates data transfer*

Ok first off His Stats

Spoiler for General information:


ok next up spells, (WIP) = work in progress

Spoiler for Spell list (a work in progress):


Umm lets see here what next.... o ok how about a little info on childhood

Spoiler for Back Story:


my next thing to do is 1) get a better spell list 2) fill in the gap between what happened in the last post and this one.


Spoiler for Back story continued : RYU:


Um next is Ryu's modes i guess (this part still need a lot of refining need a lot of tweaking and)

Spoiler for Ryu device information the basics (A major work in progress):


There thats all of it I Believe that is all of it.
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Old 2007-05-22, 06:54   Link #297
Kha
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LoweGear View Post
@ Kha:

Nice nice profiles there, although I have to ask...

Do those Confessors also grant Tiberium immunity? Seriously, love the detail on the AVK's you put there.

Anyways, I dig these two very much, somehow Sofia's blindness makes her appealing already. Although I wasn't really sure how to react when I read this line on Artei's profile:

I tell ya, blind women see a whole lot more than we do

Speaking of that nutso, Artei is likable already, gives off that Kurz Weber vibe while being totally awesome

Waiting to see their spell lists, and of course more of the dynamics of the 21st
Oh yes. Throws hallogen dichtung too. Just kidding. But if you noticed there was a Carryall in there as well...

At the moment my AV hierarchy is in a mess once I sort it out I'll post it again, but the only problm is that it flies in the face of Nighty's...

Oh well er... Hmm... The cyber scan unit (CSU) helps her "see" see... Ah-hahaha...

No seriously, that was a mental leap from typing too fast. Changed to:
Quote:
...didn't take his tone of speech and soul vibes too well in the first place.
In battle her Knight-Armor-heightened senses and CSU help her find her way around but outside of it, she's sitting-duck blind, having only rough echoes and pulses to tell what's going on, as well as Dauer's directions. As such, she has no full henshin, just an instant transformation for the moment the need arises, and hence why she's always in Convent robes for then less time is needed to activate her Knight Armor.

Artei's grasp of the longsword is impeccable and his combat style is best described as... Irregular. Sofia fights like a dance, singing and humming a tune in chant as she uses the dual-fan Dauer to take her opponents down with astounding grace. Skills coming soon, once I'm done with Kha.

Quote:
Since I'm on a roll, here's Kay's Biography, AI Part IV , covering some trivia on the AI's.

Spoiler for length:


With Kay's ginormous profile almost finished, I'll be moving on to my next character soon enough, to give more light on his involvement with Kaylin. Stay tuned
Hey inneundo! Shinji cross-dressing doesn't come to me as a surprise, but the last AI I expected to be interested in prawn was Rey... Hologram projected family indeed. Poor Glock. I wonder how he takes the jokes at work.

Waiting your next char!

@Ratler:

That fast?! No seriously I didn't expect to get taken that seriously. Alex's unique points is that he has a twin Unison, and we know that he appreciates the meaning of great power comes with greater responsibility, of which a certain Devil only just figured out. A bit of Escaflowne-ish inheritance with regards to the pendant, and Grandma Cagalli was a little surprise. How's Gramps Zala?

Maybe you were hurrying, but you seemed to have left out who is after him. Local government? As in Terran or some other world?

Oh he has a full list of all the Holy Velka Imperiallon repositories! I'm sure Saint Church would like to have a few words with him about it.

Just my suggestion, unless he is unregistered with TSAB I wouldn't recommend him using Old Velka. It's for canon-ness as during the StrikerS arc there are only 3 AVKs officially: Hayate, Acous and Carim. I was forced to upgrade Kha into NV because of that. I can see that Bronte was updated to Ryu, so I think is that the OS could've been written using the Velka Emulation D.E.V.I.C.E. Complex OS (SEED reference from my universe. Couldn't resist the temptation when you already have a mecha reference. ). Also, NV has been proven to be compatible with MC spells so it'll still be okay. No one stated that New Velka is weaker than AV, its just the style in which things are done that differ. But it's my $0.02, and it's your work, you might have a way to justify that.
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Old 2007-05-22, 09:08   Link #298
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Oh shit. I'm losing touch with what I'm writing. Anyway...

2 words.

Dark.Nanoha.

Basic Profile

Spoiler for DN:

---


Character Background:

Spoiler for Part 1 : Her First Friend:


Part II ~ Clovis and Alicia Testarossa (( Dark Feito )) ~

Coming Soon…Duke Nukem Forever and Monkey Island 5 SOON.

Not really, but with so many things planned from my fanfic chapter, to Belka History to Gilbert Graham...I didn't help myself by adding Dark Nanoha, which in my story corresponds directly to a Dark Yuuno and Fate as well. I haven't have any idea on Dark Hayate or Chrono though. Not to mention my holiday's ending this week, and I go back to lecture halls. DAMN!
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Old 2007-05-22, 10:13   Link #299
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LoweGear View Post
----------------------------

@ Saint X: I just hope Yuuno wasn't one of those librarians...

Anyways, intriguing idea there, especially the concept of an ancient "living weapon" so to speak, although more detail appreciated

--------------------------
X: I need your supervisor!!!

L1: I'm sorry sir, but our supervisor is not available... he's out on a...

X: WTFH?

L2: don't worry, we are here to help you

X: oh really?

*hours later, the two librarians are down on the floor.

X: owned...

---

Well got to view another anime title, so that inspired me to do a form... and yes, there might be more detail- and probably overwork any library staff i could find in there...

- and on another note, why don't we run a comparison of the two Dark Nanoha profiles?
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Last edited by Saint X; 2007-05-22 at 10:31.
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Old 2007-05-22, 12:09   Link #300
Kha
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nightengale View Post
Oh shit. I'm losing touch with what I'm writing. Anyway...

2 words.

Dark.Nanoha.

Basic Profile

Spoiler for DN:

---


Character Background:

Spoiler for Part 1 : Her First Friend:


Feiwang would be sooo proud. A clone that can pwn is a dark wizard's best friend. Anfini's a LOLICON! And we're dragging that old organisation back here aren't we? Too bad I lost track of the Torahaverse otherwise I'd be able to say more than random comments.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nightengale View Post
Part II ~ Clovis and Alicia Testarossa (( Dark Feito )) ~

Coming Soon…Duke Nukem Forever and Monkey Island 5 SOON.

Not really, but with so many things planned from my fanfic chapter, to Belka History to Gilbert Graham...I didn't help myself by adding Dark Nanoha, which in my story corresponds directly to a Dark Yuuno and Fate as well. I haven't have any idea on Dark Hayate or Chrono though. Not to mention my holiday's ending this week, and I go back to lecture halls. DAMN!
Haha! I called it! Someone resurrected Alicia! I knew it was coming!

*imagines a Fate in black lace*

Wait she already wears lace.

*imagines a Fate in leather straps*

Yesss...

But the Duke Nukem part seems so... sooo... random? Kinda reminds me that I've been waiting for Duke Nukem 4ever... well... Forever!

Unless you mean we're gonna wait forever for ur fic...?
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