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Old 2008-01-10, 07:15   Link #401
deathreape98
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: In my fantasy dreamworld called Clannad
Age: 30
@Ledgem That is very true...
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Old 2008-01-10, 15:18   Link #402
Fome
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Very true ledgem. The issue is that some people see things that aren't really there as a result of wishful thinking or inexperience.
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Old 2008-01-10, 21:59   Link #403
King Lycan
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Quote:
Originally Posted by raikage View Post

Or... y'know, wait. Depending on how old you are (the younger = the greater the chance) relationships don't last forever. They'll break up eventually.

Or perhaps just give up. I refer you to the concept of ladder jumping.



It is possible, but not likely to make the jump. It's much more likely that you'll fall into the Abyss of awkwardness.
OMG being in the abyss sucks coconuts
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Old 2008-01-10, 22:30   Link #404
Kristen
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Quote:
Originally Posted by raikage View Post
Firstly, I'm not sure if your boyfriend would mind all THAT much.

Secondly, either clue them all in, or dump one of them. It's not fair to either, to believe that you're "exclusive" (for a lack of better term) and have that not be the case.



Try to break them up. Then watch as not only does it not happen, but she cuts you off from her life forever. (May or may not include fists being exchanged with the current boyfriend.)

Or... y'know, wait. Depending on how old you are (the younger = the greater the chance) relationships don't last forever. They'll break up eventually.

Or perhaps just give up. I refer you to the concept of ladder jumping.



It is possible, but not likely to make the jump. It's much more likely that you'll fall into the Abyss of awkwardness.
That ladder is inaccurate. It should be making more of a "V" shape than parrellel. For, the further I, and I assume most girls, are friends with a guy, the less willing I am to become anything more than friends.
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Old 2008-01-10, 22:38   Link #405
Fome
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No I think the ladder is fine. The idea is that, when you are lower, you are less likely to get hurt trying to jump across, since the fall isn't as high.
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Old 2008-01-11, 11:34   Link #406
deathreape98
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: In my fantasy dreamworld called Clannad
Age: 30
How exactly do you kiss? My gf had a dream of me kissing her, and I don't want to disappoint her when it happens...
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Old 2008-01-11, 13:24   Link #407
Jinto
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Join Date: Feb 2004
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Quote:
Originally Posted by deathreape98 View Post
How exactly do you kiss? My gf had a dream of me kissing her, and I don't want to disappoint her when it happens...

Well, hard one, trying to compete against dreams is always very difficult. There is so much more then just the kissing action involved. Her feromones, serotonines and dopamines won't appear so suddenly, so you better prepare your first kiss. Think about something romantic... if you know on what she reacts sensitive (e.g. whispering in her ear and kissing her neck ~ I guess you should know what she likes - I can only guess). Be gentle, don't rush things... well kissing itself (its different, sometimes the tongue contact and mouth to mouth action isn't the most important thing... it might be more important how you hold her.. e.g. one hand hip, the other neck and bringing her in a position where she is leaning a little bit backwards - but you must hold her gentle yet tight, since you do not want her to fall ... thats again just a guess (happens that some girls do not like the unballanced position... might be sign she does not trust you or your skills/strength )... now tongue contact... don't force her your tongue into her mouth!!! ... you maybe start close to her lips... well I guess you will be able to read the signs and I need not explain in detail how to play or when to increase the contact... maybe, if you are lucky that ends in a frenzy... but I somehow doubt it... first kiss ).

Most important, if you always think what to do next, in order to do it right, chances are high you'll fail. In that very moment it should be hard for you to keep a clear thought anyway, so if you want to keep something in your mind, then not to jump the gun on kissing.

First amandment is, you both need to feel comfortable. There is no point in one of you having fun and the other being irritated or something alike. Though you should feel that when she is irritated, thats pretty obvious, since she will be rather defensive and stiff in a way. Look into her eyes before you start to kiss her, but not like you want to eat her... more like you would look at the christmas presents under the christmas tree, when you were young.

Now I gave you so much advice, that it must fail
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Old 2008-01-11, 13:25   Link #408
Lonestar9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by deathreape98 View Post
How exactly do you kiss? My gf had a dream of me kissing her, and I don't want to disappoint her when it happens...
Wait....what? How do you kiss? Never seen anyone kiss before?

sorry, couldn't resist...it's very easy, you just go ahead and do it when the moment is right for that first kiss, it should be light at first, and if you sense she liked it, then go for the kill, errr, kiss longer, open your mouth, kiss around it, just experiment and see what works!

Also with the first time, hopefully she'll understand if it's not perfect, kissing seems to be one of those things that improves a lot with practice...
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Old 2008-01-11, 13:55   Link #409
Spectacular_Insanity
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Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Right behind you.
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I read that link to that article, and I saw this:
Quote:
Scenario 3: A girl says any of the following to you:
  • "You're like a brother to me"
  • "You're like a big teddy bear"
  • "I feel like I can talk to you about anything"
  • "You're so nice"
  • "Can you help me with my homework"
...Well, shit. She HAS said that to me. My chances are seeming REALLY LOW right about now. And that's not even considering the fact that she already has a boyfriend. I'm gonna conclude that trying to jump ladders would just be suicidal.
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Old 2008-01-11, 13:58   Link #410
deathreape98
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: In my fantasy dreamworld called Clannad
Age: 30
Quote:
First amandment is, you both need to feel comfortable. There is no point in one of you having fun and the other being irritated or something alike. Though you should feel that when she is irritated, thats pretty obvious, since she will be rather defensive and stiff in a way. Look into her eyes before you start to kiss her, but not like you want to eat her... more like you would look at the christmas presents under the christmas tree, when you were young
Well, she dreamed that we were sitting at the computer watching youtube then I did something that was scary yet good, so I'm assuming it was a kiss. Although, it could be something more, and if that's so....that'll be rather strange :P

But anyways, I've never kissed a girl before, so I'm new to this stuff. I'll try to just go with the flow, and go in when the mood is right. I'll try to forget about it, I'm probably over-thinking it all. As Jinto said, I'll try to not plan...
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Old 2008-01-11, 14:29   Link #411
ChibiMenos
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Join Date: Sep 2007
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Quote:
Originally Posted by deathreape98 View Post
How exactly do you kiss? My gf had a dream of me kissing her, and I don't want to disappoint her when it happens...
I guess the most important thing is whether she's as inexperienced as you are. If she's not, chances are she will be taking over and showing you exactly what to do--if, on the other hand, she's never kissed anyone before, it'll be a new experience for both of you, and with a little luck she'll be overwhelmed simply by the fact that you actually (OMG!! squeeee!) kissed her, and you won't have to worry about doing it "right". Either way, it sounds like she's hinting that she really wants you to kiss her, given that she actually told you about that dream.

Other things to keep in mind...

-Asking if you can kiss her isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it can somewhat ruin the moment, so if you're pretty sure she wants you to kiss her, just go ahead and do it. (If this results in her turning her head so you get her cheek or hair, you probably should have asked first.)

-I'd say using your tongue at all on the first kiss would be a definite NO. It's another step up from "regular" kissing, and it's best to build up to it a little, especially if you're inexperienced--otherwise it could really put a girl off. (My dad has a story from his college days.... On their very first date, the girl grabbed him and proceeded to stick her tongue halfway down his throat. Needless to say, he did not ask her out again.) That's not to say that you can't go ahead with it, if she indicates she'd prefer it, but it's best not to take the chance of making her feel uncomfortable.

-She might not like it right away. It could be because you're not very good yet (if this is the case, hopefully she will tell you, and maybe suggest that you practice kissing together ), it might just be because it's not how she imagined it would be (this happened with me), or maybe it's because she was all tense and nervous about it (more likely to happen if you ask her for permission first), or it could just take some time for her to react. After my first kiss, I felt nothing really--but the next day my brain felt all melted and weird, a little like when I went into shock after falling off my bike and opening up my knee, and I couldn't stop thinking about him...

-Real kissing isn't like movie kissing. Find what works for you both, and don't pay attention to what it looks like. Nobody who might see you will be caring how you kiss--and after all, they're not the one you're kissing, anyway.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Spectacular_Insanity View Post
...Well, shit. She HAS said that to me. My chances are seeming REALLY LOW right about now. And that's not even considering the fact that she already has a boyfriend. I'm gonna conclude that trying to jump ladders would just be suicidal.
I'd say that's not always true--sometimes girls need an excuse to get close to a guy, and if they have classes in common, asking for help studying is generally a pretty "safe" way of doing that.

Given that she has a boyfriend, though, I agree that it's probably best not to try for her.
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Old 2008-01-11, 14:42   Link #412
deathreape98
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: In my fantasy dreamworld called Clannad
Age: 30
Yeah, I'm her first boyfriend, and vice versa. I'll just hope for the best and hope that shes like "wow!"
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Old 2008-01-11, 15:38   Link #413
Syaoran
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Quote:
Originally Posted by deathreape98 View Post
How exactly do you kiss? My gf had a dream of me kissing her, and I don't want to disappoint her when it happens...
It just comes when it happens
Before I ever kissed someone I was also wondering how it would go and if I'd meet up to the expecations etc... When the occasion presented itself it just happened. Nothing complicated and nothing you need to do homework for :3
I was relieved when my partner said he liked it
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Old 2008-01-11, 15:49   Link #414
Knightmare213
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Spectacular_Insanity View Post
I read that link to that article, and I saw this:

...Well, shit. She HAS said that to me. My chances are seeming REALLY LOW right about now. And that's not even considering the fact that she already has a boyfriend. I'm gonna conclude that trying to jump ladders would just be suicidal.
After my experience from school, I'd say jumping the ladder is suicidal. Sorry to break the bad news, but being with this girl, especially, if she has a boyfriend, would meant that not only will you be ending a good friendship, but it would probably bring a lot of grief being stuck in the same room with her until the end of the year. Also, don't assume that this girl's bf is on the way out either. That's just YOUR view, which can be largely flawed and wrong.

Not only that, even if she knows you even after she breaks up with her bf, it's best not to date her either. From what I heard, Rebounded relationships don't last long.

But don't fret, man. "Plenty of fishes in the sea." I'm sure you'll find someone that's single and not just want you to help her with her homework.


@Deathreape89: You're lucky to be her first kiss. In relationships, we guys often suffer from the sins of the girls' ex-boyfriends. As long as you follow ChibiMenos' advice, I don't think it'll be that hard to make her feel like "'wow!'" Just choose the right moment, and right location, and right mood, you'll be fine.


And despite what Fome said, I think Chrissie is right about the ladder must being V-shaped. If you were higher on the V-shaped ladder, it would just be a lot harder to get across and the fall would even be much higher and more painful.
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Old 2008-01-12, 12:15   Link #415
Ledgem
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Join Date: Mar 2003
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ChibiMenos View Post
-She might not like it right away. It could be because you're not very good yet (if this is the case, hopefully she will tell you, and maybe suggest that you practice kissing together ), it might just be because it's not how she imagined it would be (this happened with me), or maybe it's because she was all tense and nervous about it (more likely to happen if you ask her for permission first), or it could just take some time for her to react. After my first kiss, I felt nothing really--but the next day my brain felt all melted and weird, a little like when I went into shock after falling off my bike and opening up my knee, and I couldn't stop thinking about him...
I'd like to add to this that you might not like the kiss right away, either! My girlfriend and I are each other's firsts, really. Our first kiss was about a week after we'd started dating. After the act, I was sort of underwhelmed. After all, aren't kisses supposed to be something amazing? It was special, but I didn't feel like it was something I'd get into much. I'd resigned myself to thinking that maybe I just wasn't a kissing sort of guy. Silly as it may sound I checked websites on how to kiss, and later my girlfriend and I got it down properly.

So if you have a great first time, good for you! If not, practice makes perfect.
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Old 2008-01-12, 22:12   Link #416
deathreape98
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: In my fantasy dreamworld called Clannad
Age: 30
Well, we kissed today. Was only kisses to the cheek, but we're getting there ^^ Also accidentally touched her breasts...(hand bumped into them)glad her parents didn't kill me :P
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Old 2008-01-13, 07:41   Link #417
Samari
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Quote:
Originally Posted by deathreape98 View Post
Well, we kissed today. Was only kisses to the cheek, but we're getting there ^^ Also accidentally touched her breasts...(hand bumped into them)glad her parents didn't kill me :P
Congratulations.
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Old 2008-01-15, 20:10   Link #418
deathreape98
Clannad Preacher
 
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: In my fantasy dreamworld called Clannad
Age: 30
It's going good so far (Thanks, bluejazz), rather stuck on making a "pet name"/couple nickname for her, though. Her name is Destiny, and I can't think of anything to call her >.<
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Old 2008-01-15, 21:13   Link #419
ChibiMenos
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Quote:
Originally Posted by deathreape98 View Post
It's going good so far (Thanks, bluejazz), rather stuck on making a "pet name"/couple nickname for her, though. Her name is Destiny, and I can't think of anything to call her >.<
Why not just call her Destiny?

Seriously, it's not like a necessity or something to have a nickname, even though it can be nice...and Destiny is a pretty name. I'd think that if that's what she goes by, she wouldn't mind you using it.
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Old 2008-01-16, 00:14   Link #420
Darkman.exe213
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I decided that I should probably move onto someone else. The girl I liked NEVER contacts me first, meaning she probably never saw me as more than a friend in the first place. Also, we have VERY different interests and very different friends. Even if we did have a relationship, it probably wouldn't have lasted long.
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