Christmas Brought to Iraq By Force

[Shii]

BAGHDAD, IRAQ—On almost every corner in Iraq's capital city, carolers are singing, trees are being trimmed, and shoppers are rushing home with their packages—all under the watchful eye of U.S. troops dedicated to bringing the magic of Christmas to Iraq by force.

"It's important that life in liberated Iraq get back to normal as soon as possible," said Deputy Defense Secretary Paul Wolfowitz at a press conference Monday. "That's why we're making sure that Iraqis have the best Christmas ever—something they certainly wouldn't have had under Saddam Hussein's regime."



To that end, 25,000 troops from the 3rd Armored Cavalry Regiment and 82nd Airborne Division have been deployed. Their missions include the distribution of cookies and eggnog at major Iraqi city centers, the conscription of bell-ringers from among the Iraqi citizenry, and the enforcement of a new policy in which every man, woman, and child in Baghdad pays at least one visit to 'Twas The Night... On Ice.

[boneyjellyfish]

Can you give us a link to the story?

[Shii]

Hold on, I will get it in a minute. It was in a newspaper of very high reputation, I forget which though

[NoSanninWa]

This is a joke... right?

(I'm afraid that the current adminstation is so messed up that I can't be absolutely sure that they wouldn't do something this stupid.)

[boneyjellyfish]

Originally Posted by NoSanninWa

This is a joke... right?

(I'm afraid that the current adminstation is so messed up that I can't be absolutely sure that they wouldn't do something this stupid.)

That's what I thought, which was why I asked for a link :P

[NoSanninWa]

Originally Posted by boneyjellyfish

That's what I thought, which was why I asked for a link :P

If they are going to enforce Christmas in Iraq, then maybe they'll enforce Hanukah also! Just to be fair, y'know?

[Shii]

Oh, I found some more of the story on Google News. You're right NoSanninWa

According to Lt. Gen. Ricardo Sanchez, the top American military commander in Iraq, every precaution is being taken to ensure the peaceful enforcement of the Christmas season in occupied Iraq.

"All American military personnel have been instructed that the observation of Christmas should be carried out efficiently and tastefully, with minimal emphasis on the season's commercial aspects," said Sanchez, who addressed reporters while a decorations division strung wreaths and garlands outside his headquarters. "We must keep in mind that the reason for the season-oriented campaign is for Iraq to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ."

An aide for Sanchez later explained that, in order to ensure a meaningful holiday season for all Iraqis, provisions were made for those Iraqis who elected to observe Hanukkah.

[boneyjellyfish]

Originally Posted by NoSanninWa

If they are going to enforce Christmas in Iraq, then maybe they'll enforce Hanukah also! Just to be fair, y'know?

You can't forget Kwanzaa (or however it's spelled). That's the most important one of all! In every Christmas special these days, there's always a character that's celebrating kwanzaa. These guys will be totally in the dark if they don't celebrate it too!

[SuperKhalil]

<cough cough>

did i say something?

[boneyjellyfish]

I'd say SuperKhalil gets a 1.0/10 on the troll scale. He gets the point for almost making me consider posting a meaningful reply.

*edit*

BAH! You edited out your post. Now my post is meaningless! MEANINGLESS!

[Shii]

I found the link... http://www.theonion.com/3949/top_story.html



<ashibaka> go to this thread < http://forums.animesuki.com/showthread.php?p=44129 > and pretend it's really serious
<xess> hah, cookies and eggnog
<Cyphatic> ill give you something good ashibaka
<xess> doesnt eggonog contain alchohol?
<hentai_wolf> It doesn't have to.
<ashibaka> not supermarket eggnog, but usually yes
<ashibaka> >:)
<Cyphatic> if it goes through me, yes :)
<ashibaka> quick, before boneyjellyfish discovers it's from the onion :P
<ashibaka> omg a gimmick account -.-;
<Cyphatic> :P
<Cyphatic> it wasn't me!
<ashibaka> boney didn't like you
<ashibaka> but i don't like his avatar
<ashibaka> so all's fair
<Cyphatic> aww.. hated on :P
<ashibaka> why did he have to go and change his avatar from a guy to that ugly blue turd-thing
<ashibaka> now i think he is an ugly blue turd, and it influences my perception of him
<ashibaka> that's why i changed my avatar from a gangster fairy to a lolicon idol
<Cyphatic> damn
<Cyphatic> that threads going fast
<ashibaka> he still believes it though =P
<Cyphatic> maybe he'll think i was funny when he finds out it's a joke
<Cyphatic> or hate me more
<Cyphatic> Above: U.S. soldiers instruct an Iraqi to tell Santa what he wants for Christmas.
<ashibaka> that second picture is implausible, but the 1st one is good
<Cyphatic> that would be pretty big raindeer
<ashibaka> hehe, i added the 1st ^^
<ashibaka> it looks pretty stupid now
<ashibaka> posting actual link... i have to go to bed =P
<Cyphatic> haha
<Cyphatic> i win i win :)

[SuperKhalil]

Ahem.. I am not Cyphatic...

IGNORE THE MAN BEHIND THE CURTAIN!!

-Cy..

errr

-Khalil

[boneyjellyfish]

TheOnion? I thought so :P

I guess this just means I should check TheOnion more often than I do now... Oh well, at least I caught it before anybody actually DEBATED it.

[NoSanninWa]

I am reassured to discover that it is in fact a joke. Anyone who takes The Onion seriously just doesn't know what The Onion is.

PS. What did SuperKhalil say? I missed it.