2009-10-11, 05:46 | Link #16721 |
meow~ give me cookies~
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: cat cage, meow~
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Em...hello.
I'm Rika and a new person here. I've been wondering around in animesuki for few hours earlier on and I really like it here. So em...hello and please to meet everyone here. -0/////0- (urge to run away) |
2009-10-11, 06:31 | Link #16724 |
does whatever he wants.
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Atop a hill of words.
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Aye, wan will. A kindred spirit, indeed.
Welcome, Rika, to our little Pet Shop of Nanoha Fan Fiction: Staves, Spells, Sense, Sensualities, Snark, Sages, Sagas and Schadenfreude are our trademark material...but a Cat Is Fine Too. Hope you enjoy your stay |
2009-10-11, 13:43 | Link #16731 | |
Beta by Accident
Author
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Maine
Age: 52
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Quote:
Cute little short. A little rough in places ("disappointment" rather than "disappointed" tone, for example), but it put a smile on my face. |
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2009-10-11, 13:54 | Link #16732 |
Master of the Shiny Crack
Author
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Oh I forgot to comment on that piece, thanks for the reminder there Dezo.
Not gonna give anything indepth 'cause it's so short but basically there are grammar errors up the heazy and they really stick out. They're mostly tense errors but there are a couple of typo errors too (yu instead of you at one point really stood out. Also when doing dialog remember it's, "Blah blah blah," said person A. You need to use a comma instead of a period in the quotations. If you ever have a grammar question please PM me. :3 the short was cute just needs to have the grammar kinks eased out. |
2009-10-11, 13:59 | Link #16733 |
meow~ give me cookies~
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: cat cage, meow~
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Emm...I forgot to mention something.
My FF.Net http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1494479/Rika23onROOF There is one story there that's called Black and White. http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5429750/1/Black_and_White Here is a little preview of the story "Nanoha Takamachi." Nanoha didn't turn, Fate looked over her shoulder. It was a group of TSAB mage, each carrying their magic staff and aimed it at the two black figure. "Under the name of Time-Space Administration Bureau, you are to come with us and-" He couldn't finish his words due to Fate intense glare, Nanoha chuckled as she released her grasped from Fate's hand. "Fate-chan, I'm tired. Finish them off for me please." Fate knew Nanoha was lying, she wasn't tired. She never will. Nanoha was very powerful, more powerful than Precia, Jail, Reinforce and herself. Nanoha was the type to watch rather than participate. But even so, she would always comply to her wish. "Yes, Nanoha." Fate readied her device, "Bardiche." [Yes Sir.] Bardiche reload one cartridge and the battle axe soon turns into a scythe, the blade made out of electricity. [Hakken form!] (>/////<) That's all. |
2009-10-11, 14:02 | Link #16734 | ||
Beta by Accident
Author
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Maine
Age: 52
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Quote:
Quote:
Specifically, I'm speaking of the following construction: "That's right." Said Nanoha to Fate. It's the combination of a period rather than a comma inside the quotation mark, and a capital letter for the sentence fragment detailing who was taking the action. I'm wondering if it might be because more and more word processors autocorrect the first lowercase letter after a period into a capital letter? In this way, the writer makes one mistake (using the period rather than the comma) and the software chains a second mistake off of it. |
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2009-10-11, 14:11 | Link #16735 | |
Adeptus Animus
Author
Join Date: Jan 2007
Age: 36
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Quote:
I'd like to hear the reason just why Nanoha went totally over the evil edge as well. Right now the story makes no sense no matter how you approach it. |
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2009-10-11, 14:19 | Link #16736 |
Writer, Jester, MtG nerd
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o.o hahaa sounds like any given khrack story (including mine) condensed into a can of soup, no offense :P
I'm sure a good brain storm session with one of the regulars will give your ambition lots of food and love for the sake of the story.
__________________
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2009-10-11, 14:40 | Link #16738 |
Adeptus Animus
Author
Join Date: Jan 2007
Age: 36
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Hmm, toughie. 3 minutes before we reach our target, and 20 seconds to respond... With all the buzz I'm pretty sure Quattro is already well aware of us. Just to double-check, but do we have any form of identification that'll clear us?
Last edited by Keroko; 2009-10-11 at 15:07. |
2009-10-11, 15:01 | Link #16739 | |
Senior Member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: New York
Age: 33
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Quote:
If we're going to use our nukes safely, we'll need to get our mages out of there. A, respond to the hail hopefully without revealing our cargo and ask them to retreat out of the blast. |
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2009-10-11, 15:42 | Link #16740 |
Sword Wielding Penguin
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*DUN-DUN DUN DUN!*
You are engaged in an unauthorized- *DUN-DUN DUN DUN!* You are engaged in an unauthorized- *DUN-DUN DUN DUN!* You are engaged in an unauthorized- *DUN-DUN DUN DUN!* Remain, where you are. ^_^; Well, Keroko, you have exactly what I said before. No proof of anything until you actually engage. As far as your vehicle goes, there should be hints of just what you have onboard if the sophistication of your communications equipment is anything. If the comm system is sophisticated, what about the rest of the systems? I won't give any secrets, but you can put your imagination to work. Also, I should mention as a small hint. For all its worth, threats to shoot people down are only effective if they CAN shoot people down. You'll get a threat of being shot down from anyone manning an IADS. By the way... time to firing range is just that. Time to effective firing range where you can shoot. Doesn't mean you HAVE to shoot. It's just when you can first engage the cradle directly with your munitions. |
Tags |
authorshipping, befriending, fanfiction, interactive fanfiction, nanoha |
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