The Genderbending of Haruhi Suzumiya [Spoilers Aplenty]

[Jaden]

I see. Well, that's Korea for you....guess there's no problem then.

[dkellis]

Originally Posted by Raijinken

Well, as far as weapon changes... I don't see any reason to switch from a knife. Granted, bare hands ARE sonething to be scared of, especially when he's already proven that not only can he seal off the room, but Kyon-ko suddenly can't move at all.

On the other hand... At that state of vunerability, if the bastard's holding a knife, you know what's going to happen. You're getting shanked. Bare hands though, makes it a question of how exactly he's going to do it.

But then, knives are efficiant (My spelling sucks people, if that's wrong), and that's why I think either gender of Ryou would stick with it. Slit her throat, and leave. No questions asked, and plenty of time to get away before they are.

Also, no matter what happens, Yuuki has to have a badass level equivilant to Sephiroth's when he comes in to the rescue. Killing Kyon-ko is sin, pure and simple.

...It doesn't help matters that I was still a Yuki fanboy before this happened, I guess...

That will never change.

Hm. Well, that does make a lot of sense.

I suppose I should try it both ways, and see which one works better.

Spoiler for Asakura with knife:

Someone was indeed waiting inside the classroom, but I was surprised about his identity.

"Hello," Asakura Ryou said with a smile. "You're late." He gestured smoothly. "Please, come in."

"Um, sorry about that." I stepped into the classroom hesitantly. What was going on here? Could it be that Asakura-kun was... no, it couldn't be. But what if it was?

"Surprised?" he said mildly.

My heart started to beat faster. "You, er, were looking for me?" I managed.

"I was. I have something to ask you."

Oh gods.

Maybe he was going to drop to a knee or something. Hold my hands while looking deep into my eyes. But no, nobody's going to be that cheesy in real life, and why the heck was I already assuming that he was going to ask me out? If not that, though, then why would he ask to meet me alone in the classroom after school?

Asakura walked slowly around the desks, keeping a respectable distance between us. "Have you heard of the saying that it's better to do it and regret it, than not to do it at all?" he said. "Do you think that makes sense?"

Was he building up to something? That's actually kind of sweet, really. Asakura may be the almighty class representative, but maybe he wasn't as certain of himself when it comes to asking someone out. "I guess it makes a bit of sense," I said cautiously.

"If having things stay in the status quo is bad," Asakura continued, "but you have no idea how to improve matters, then what would you do?"

"Improve what?" This was starting to make less and less sense.

"Shouldn't you do it first and face the consequences later?" Asakura said, ignoring my question. "I mean, nothing is going to change if it keeps continuing like this, right? That's what the status quo means."

"Um, I guess so?"

"Even if those in charge don't recognize the rapidly-changing situations down here, I should take matters into my own hands, shouldn't I? That's the best way to make things run smoothly, after all."

What's going on here? Is this some kind of trick? Maybe Taniguchi is hiding somewhere, laughing at me. That's low, Asakura-san, you shouldn't be taking part in one of Taniguchi's pranks.

"I am tired of the status quo," Asakura said, his smile never leaving his face.

I wasn't really paying attention, since I was looking for Taniguchi's hiding place, which was why I almost didn't catch his next words.

"I'm going to kill you, to see what kind of reaction Suzumiya Haruki would have."

Some unknown instinct yelled at me to duck, and I did so, just as something steely white flashed where my head used to be. A yellow ribbon, neatly cut, floated to the ground as my hair came loose.

Still with that ever-present smile, Asakura was now advancing on me with what looked like a very sharp combat knife in his hand.

I scrambled away from him, trying to reach the door. I had to escape, I had to get out of here! Why is Asakura holding a knife? Did he want to kill me? Wait, he said something like that just now, didn't he?

Why isn't he running towards me? He's just walking slowly in my direction...

"This isn't funny!" I shouted. "Put that knife away! Even if it's fake, I'd be scared of it too!"

"Hm?" Asakura studied his knife with an expression of curiosity. "You think this is a joke?" Even as he said that, he was still smiling. It really sounded as though he didn't know what I was talking about. "You don't want to die? The death of organic entities doesn't mean anything to me."

"I don't know what's going on! Please, just leave me alone!"

"I'm afraid I can't do that." Asakura tightened his grip on the knife. "You see, I really want you dead."

He rushed towards me, and I dodged out of the way just in time. I had to get to the door, to escape from this madness, to-

Where's the door? Why am I faced with a blank wall? Wasn't this supposed to be where the doors to the corridor were? Even the windows were gone!

"There's no use trying to escape," Asakura said, his voice coming from uncomfortably close behind me. "I control this area of space-time now, and so all exits have been removed. There's no way in or out now."

I inched away from him, not knowing why he was still walking so slowly towards me. Well, it's true that I didn't have anywhere to go now, and he had me completely trapped. "Someone, please, help me!"

"Please don't try to resist. It's useless."

"Who are you? What are you?" I tried to fling a chair at him, trying to distract him, but the chair deflected off something just before it hit, and flew off into the distance. Hey, that's unfair! My path was always blocked by desks, but Asakura somehow manipulated a clear path between me and him.

What was it Asakura had said? I'm going to kill you, to see what kind of reaction Suzumiya Haruki would have. Haruki, Haruki, it's always about Haruki! Why's he getting so popular anyway?

"I should have done this from the very beginning."

Suddenly, I couldn't move a muscle. That's cheating! You're not allowed to do that!

"When you die, Suzumiya Haruki is very probably going to have some sort of reaction," Asakura said, from somewhere just outside my field of vision. "This would create a massive explosion of data, from which we can obtain valuable information. This is the chance of a lifetime for us."

I could imagine Asakura's smile growing more cheerful as he prepared to strike.

"Now," he said, "please die."

The world in front of my eyes went white, and I heard a loud cracking sound. Was this what being killed is like? Something struck me on the shoulder, and I cried out in pain. "It hurts! It hurts, dammit!" Huh? I could talk? I could also move as well! I whipped my head around to see a shocked Asakura, knife thrust forward to stab me in the neck.

And almost nonchalantly catching the blade in his bare hands, was the slim figure of Nagato Yuuki.

Spoiler for Asakura without knife:

"I am tired of the status quo," Asakura said, his smile never leaving his face.

I wasn't really paying attention, since I was looking for Taniguchi's hiding place, which was why I almost didn't catch his next words.

"I'm going to see what kind of reaction Suzumiya Haruki would have, if you were ever in danger."

What?

Asakura was suddenly there, in front of me, holding my wrist. His smile did not leave his face, but nevertheless I felt a sudden chill down my spine.

"A-Asakura!" Wasn't this happening too fast? "Please, stop it! This isn't funny!"

Asakura looked surprised, and he let go of my arm. "You think this is a joke?" He really sounded as though he had no idea what I was talking about. "Organic entities mean nothing to me, but your feelings and reactions are often very interesting to observe."

Crazy. Asakura had gone crazy. I backed away from him, as quickly as I could. I had to get out of here. I had to find someone, a teacher, the police, anyone. "Help! Someone help me!"

"Nobody can hear you," Asakura chided me. "I made sure of that."

I reached the classroom doors, and tried to open it-

Where's the door? Why am I faced with a blank wall? Wasn't this supposed to be where the doors to the corridor were? Even the windows were gone!

"There's no use trying to escape," Asakura said, his voice coming from uncomfortably close behind me. "I control this area of space-time now, and so all exits have been removed. There's no way in or out now."

I inched away from him, not knowing why he was still walking so slowly towards me. Well, it's true that I didn't have anywhere to go now, and he had me completely trapped.

"Please don't try to resist. It's useless."

I lashed out with a kick, but Asakura disappeared from right in front of me. What was he? Some sort of alien? "Please, just leave me alone!"

"I'm afraid I can't do that." A hand grabbed my wrist, and Asakura caught my other wrist before I could slap him. "I need to provoke a reaction from Suzumiya Haruki, and you are the most logical target to make that happen."

Haruki, Haruki, it's always about Haruki! Why's he getting so popular anyway?

"I should have done this from the very beginning."

Suddenly all my strength left me, and my muscles grew limp and unresponsive. Hey, that's cheating! You're not allowed to do that!

Asakura easily pushed me up against the wall, pressing his disgusting body against mine. "After Suzumiya Haruki finds out, he will probably have some sort of reaction," he murmured. "I think, though, to be safe, I should probably kill you afterwards. Then Suzumiya Haruki will be sure to cause a massive data explosion, from which we can obtain valuable information. This is the chance of a lifetime for us."

No... I don't want it to end like this. I don't want any of this to happen. Someone, anyone, please, help me!

There was a sudden loud cracking noise, and Asakura's grip loosened, as the world went white. I desperately pushed him away, and ran as fast as I could, but stumbling and falling after only a few steps. I glanced back, trying to see if Asakura was giving chase, but he was standing motionless, a shocked expression on his face.

Behind him, one hand pinning Asakura's hands to his back and the other arm wrapped around his neck in a stranglehold, was the slim figure of Nagato Yuuki.

[Jintor]

I prefer knife.

[dkellis]

Originally Posted by Jintor

I prefer knife.

Knife it is, then.

[Jintor]

Oh, yeah - I agree with the "Kyon-ko should be slightly taller" faction. She's a little too short atm.

[Ascaloth]

Originally Posted by Bean Bandit

*Ponders*

I have been considering the issue of 'Haruki' being an ill fitting piece of this puzzle. While I applaud the concept of Modeling him on Kamina and The Ouran male lead, I think he might be a little too generic still.

What I'm advocating is...in addition to Kamina and Tamaki...Mix in a dash of Sousuke Sagara as well?

Perhaps not so deadly serious, but an encyclopedic knowledge of Anime and Fiction devoted to his favorite subjects leaves him short on common sense? (The Cosplay Rape Scene with Mitsuuru makes me want to see Haruki tell Kyon-ko that crossdressers are a very important factor with groups of this kind)

As for the Why...Haruki, as he's shaping up right now, doesn't seem as likable as Haruhi. Her aggressiveness translates badly into a male character. (I think this has been said before) If we add something of an endearing blind spot to explain it (Like obviously having watched far too many anime: Something Haruhi {Female} Could also be said to have done, given her impromtu lecture on moe, in the anime, Kyon-ko might be less aggressively inclined. As in "He's not a Jerk, he's just an idiot.")

Side note: Kyon-ko muttering 'Baka' Ala Ruri Hoshino from Nadesico is too cute. @_@

Also, I would like to voice a vote against any influence from Shana in Kyon-ko's evolution. Her Charm comes from Worldweary Sarcasm and aplomb with which she tackles life. There are already far too many Tsunderes that yell and hit things, IMO.

That sounds a lot more like Genshiken than anything else. Hmmm....a Haruki whose weirdness stems in part from a view of the world warped by his otaku-ness?

.....Sounds good.

Originally Posted by Raijinken

A dash of Sagara?

Hm... you've just given me a mental image of intense military attitude and strategy when Day of Sagitarious comes around.

Now I'm thinking of him 'drooping' when he finds out that Yuuki is the one kicking ass.

...Now I'm thinking of the computer club turning into insane fangirls at the sight of their god, Yuuki. Then getting rabid when they realize he'll be spending time with them. Man that's hilarious. Join the Yuuki harem today!

But wait, at the start of all that, the head of the computer club gets drop-kicked in the side of the head. Can't have that, no. Breaking a GIRL'S spine for a change wouldn't be funny, would it? *Mumble...*

Well... like, half the comedy of that scene was Haruhi flying right out of an off-screen plot-hole at mach two to deliver the kick. Whatever happens there has to be a bolt from the blue too, I think.

What do the masses think?

Since everyone seems to be worried about the implications of a guy Haruki being so violent to a girl, why not have him grab and judo-manhandle the female Computer Club President in a manner that could be construed as highly sexual? It would fit with his skirt-chaser manner, too.

Originally Posted by Jaden

Computer club is a bit of a problem. Firstly you could search for a thousand years and probably not find an all-female computer club. Especially if they're all as hot as in some of that fanart. And how will they be extorted? Pictures of sexual harrassment wouldn't work. I'm thinking Haruki will steal the president's "D drive" and dig up some really nasty material to extort her with. However this will waste an important Mikuru-moment. And already the fact that Haruki is extorting a group of girls is hard to swallow.

And in Day of Sagittarius, it's a bit strange for an all-female computer club to be developing real-time strategy games, or to try getting back at the SOS-dan with such methods. It also kinda feels like Haruki would more likely laugh off their challenge than accept it. Something for you folks to think about, my imagination is at a dead end.

Maybe turn them into the "Fujoshi" Club? One that has reason to make use of computers to churn out the doujin material they're preparing for Comiket. Maybe they even specialize in producing some kind of doujin software game centering around yaoi.....

....I'm starting to fear what the Day of Sagittarius sequence will turn into.

[dkellis]

Originally Posted by Jintor

Oh, yeah - I agree with the "Kyon-ko should be slightly taller" faction. She's a little too short atm.

Oh, I don't know. I read someone commenting on Kyonko as "aww, tiny little cute sarcastic person", and it stuck with me. If I may be selfish, I'd say that Kyonko being short is part of the charm for me.

-

Random thoughts:

I had this long list of ways for characters to refer to each other, but I seem to have lost it. So, from what I can remember:

Haruhi to Kyon: "Kyon"
Haruki to Kyonko: "Kyonko" (or "Kyon" or whatever her nickname ends up being)

Kyon to Haruhi: "Suzumiya-san" originally, "Haruhi" after some time
Kyonko to Haruki: The same, I think.

Haruhi to Mikuru: "Mikuru-chan"
Haruki to Mitsuru/Minoru/whatever: I don't know. "Minoru"? "Minoru-kun"? "Asahina"? "Asahina-kun"?

Haruhi to Koizumi: "Koizumi"
Haruki to Koizumi: "Koizumi-san", perhaps. Just "Koizumi" sounds a bit strange.

Haruhi to Yuki: "Yuki"
Haruki to Yuuki: "Yuuki" or "Yuuki-kun"? Or "Nagato-kun"?

Kyon to Yuki: "Nagato-san"
Kyonko to Yuuki: The same, probably.

Kyon to Mikuru: "Asahina-san"
Kyonko to Minoru: Probably the same, or "Asahina-sempai".

Kyon to Koizumi: "Koizumi"
Kyonko to Koizumi: Good question. Will address in a bit.

As far as I can tell, Koizumi, Nagato, and Asahina address everyone around them as "surname-san", except for Kyon. Asahina calls Kyon "Kyon-kun", and I don't remember Koizumi and Nagato ever addressing Kyon by (nick)name at all. If they did, it's probably "Kyon", but I need to check that.

Gender flip that, and it's likely to stay the same, except for Kyonko and Koizumi. From what I can tell, usually when female students address their female friends, it's on a first-name basis, with "-chan" occasionally, or maybe a cutesy nickname. When they're being polite to each other (whether because they don't know each other that well, or it's just their nature), it becomes "surname-san" again. So Tsuruya calls Mikuru "Mikuru-chan", and Mikuru calls Tsuruya "Tsuruya-san".

So, would Female Koizumi call Kyonko "Kyon", or "Kyon-chan"? Would Kyonko call Female Koizumi "Koizumi-san", or by her first name? Or maybe even just "Koizumi", like in the canon?

[panzerfan]

I agree. I do not think Kyon is all that short at all. Too short and the fellow cannot be said as average anymore.

And here's a doctored picture I did just now.



(I think I am hopelessly finding Kyon moe now)

[dkellis]

Originally Posted by panzerfan

I agree. I do not think Kyon is all that short at all. Too short and the fellow cannot be said as average anymore.

That's only if you're going into heights which are obviously unusual for Kyonko's age. From the pictures I've seen, Kyonko isn't that short; she's just not very tall. She'd probably be around canon Yuki's height, which isn't unusually short.

Canon Kyon is said to be "average" in that he does not have any spectacularly special powers, which is what I assumed the term "average" as applied to Kyon meant, rather than average in everything, including body proportions. After all, his breadth of trivia knowledge, his sense of humour, and his patience with Haruhi's antics might be argued to be not that average.

Kyonko can still be described as "average" at her current portrayed height, even if it's "averagely short".

I admit that I'm just arguing this stance because I like Kyonko being short for a vaguely obscure aesthetic reason, and I'm also perfectly happy to agree to disagree.

[DannyCat]

Kyon being short is fine because we don't want her to be just regular Kyon's frame with breasts and ponytail (as some simple photoshops tend to do). She's gotta be feminine in build, and her smaller size contributes very strongly to that. Not saying make her tiny, but...moe-sized.

[FatPianoBoy]

This discussion is really starting to tickle my sociology fetish. It's clearly much more than crazed fans run amok at this point.

[Keroko]

Originally Posted by Skane

Well... there are some scenes that might seem a little too overboard due to the gender-swap, like Haruhi dragging Kyon by the collar through a hallway, or Yuki round-kneeing Kyon inside Asakura's world.

And then there is the issue of the bunny-suits... keep them (for maximum mind-breaking hilarity), or find a masculine equivalent?

Neo-Haruhi: "I'm secure enough in my masculinity to wear these bunny-suits!"
Neo-Kyon: *clawing eyes out*

Also... there is one scene in Vol.02 that will lose a lot of its impact due to the gender switch, as the idea of a girl psychically hitting a boy is not as dramatic as a boy beating on a girl.

Cheers.

Haruhi dragging Kyon through the hallways by the collar could still be used, I don't see that much of a problem with it. Perhaps for more comedic factor it could have standing and struggling.

Which reminds me, there is also the scene in which Haruhi grabs Kyon's tie when she reqruits him. I figured a comedic shift would be Haruki grabbing Kyonko's shoulders while staring into her eyes, while Kyonko blushingly wonders what the hell he is talking about.

Bunny suits... Haruhi's goal was to atract members, I think Haruki would be smart enough to realize that this would have the oposite effect. I'd say find a masculine equivelant. Perhaps sexy surf outfits?

As for that scene in volume 2, yes that does lose a lot of its impact. I'll have to think about that one a bit more.

[panzerfan]

Circumstances would be a bit different. I suppose something level headed yet rather extreme is calling the cops for bullying and harassment and only having Koizumi snap the phone cord as it rings through.

[Keroko]

That's only if Kyonko actually calls the police, though. In which case kyon would have done so a lot of times, as Haruhi is prone to sexual harasment.

[Kristen]

Originally Posted by Keroko

Haruhi dragging Kyon through the hallways by the collar could still be used, I don't see that much of a problem with it. Perhaps for more comedic factor it could have standing and struggling.

Which reminds me, there is also the scene in which Haruhi grabs Kyon's tie when she reqruits him. I figured a comedic shift would be Haruki grabbing Kyonko's shoulders while staring into her eyes, while Kyonko blushingly wonders what the hell he is talking about.

Bunny suits... Haruhi's goal was to atract members, I think Haruki would be smart enough to realize that this would have the oposite effect. I'd say find a masculine equivelant. Perhaps sexy surf outfits?

As for that scene in volume 2, yes that does lose a lot of its impact. I'll have to think about that one a bit more.

Well, Haruhi is harrament-prone, so instead of the tie, Haruki would probably grab Kyon-ko by that bow that connects the black coat together, even though that is a girl's breasts.

[Keroko]

Concidering the scene is meant to be comedic, it would be kind of counter productive. DJ's idea of Haruki carying Kyonko of bridal style sounds the best, now that I think of it. It would work great in combination with the 'hands on her shoulders, looking deeply into her eyes' scene that follows.

[shaoron]

HOLD IT!!!




i thought we agreed that ryou-kun would have a katana instead!?

[dkellis]

Originally Posted by shaoron

i thought we agreed that ryou-kun would have a katana instead!?

Why?

I mean, I don't have any objections per se to that idea, but why a katana in specific? What's wrong with the combat knife?

I'm asking not because I disagree, but mostly because it seems kind of non-sequitur.

[Wild Goose]

Originally Posted by shaoron

HOLD IT!!!




i thought we agreed that ryou-kun would have a katana instead!?

*stealths in*

Nah, a knife's more practical and efficient for close quaters combat, especially in a room full of desks and the likes.

Hell, US Navy SEALs, badasses among badasses, are encouraged to use smaller blades; in the words of a SEAL Chief Petty Officer instructor at SEAL Qualification Training: "All you need is a good three inch folding knife. A Machete or large blade looks cool but is not as practical." (Quoted from Earning The Trident (Couch, 2003) by retired SEAL & former CIA case officer D. Couch.)

...besides, there's something inherently badass about a K-BAR (Ryou should be using a K-BAR, IMO, not a tanto. Tanto are more "decorative" items. K-BARs kill people. Then again, it was made to kill Japanese....)

*stealths out*

[shaoron]

umm....
the... umm....
combat knife isn't manly enough for male asakura....?

if the katana is too long then we could use the shorter ones...
kodachi...?