Nanoha FanFiction Discussion

[BPHaru]

Originally Posted by Alavon

Okay... I originally was going to post this tomorrow but felt bad for BPHaru so here is part 4 of 6 from Animal Instincts: ch. 1

Previously on 'Animal Instincts' *snort*:

Animal Instincts: Preface

Animal Instincts: (1/6) Chapter 1: The Girl from the City

Animal Instincts: (2/6) Chapter 1: The Girl from the City

Animal Instincts: (3/6) Chapter 1: The Girl from the City

Spoiler for Part four of six (4/6) from Animal Instincts: Chapter 1:

A young women who appeared to be my age laid on the floor, her misting majorelle blue eyes staring at her oppressors with a fearful look on her face. Her long and silky chestnut hair was sprawled all around her body and I couldn't help but think that she was beautiful. Like an angel...

I blushed.

“Are you deaf!?” yelled the Mayor, taking a step towards the women who pushed herself away from him.

Who can blame her?

“I-I'm s-sorry,” she stuttered, bringing a hand up to her chest in a protective manner. “I just m-moved-”

That poor girl couldn't even finish her sentence.

“We know that you moved here!” roared a random bystander. “We want you OUT OF HERE!”

There were a lot more shouts, all agreeing with the guy. The crowd was getting more rowdy and I began to fear for the girl. I wanted to do something but there were too many of them...

“I-...uh...” The girl looked from one person to another, her eyes wide. She probably felt like a small animal, trapped with no place to run...to escape to...but then...her eyes stopped at me.

And I couldn't look away.

At that moment, the world fell silent and all I could hear is my erratic heartbeat.

Ba-bump...

I closed my eyes...

Ba-bump...

...and I opened them.

Ba-bump...

Without even realizing it, I was kneeling down before the girl with tears sliding down my numbed cheeks. Why my body moved to her like that, I do not know.

Instinct, maybe?

But I do know one thing.

It was too late for me to back out now....

….and the girl knew it too.

Spoiler for Author's Notes:

Sorry, BPHaru. I AM mean. But here...have a Fishermen!Fate picture from Liitha.

And thank you Evil Rick for this beautiful signature! XD

Wow.
This is one of the bests 'first encounter' scenes I remember reading... right now I only can compare it with the one from "My Fate, Our Destiny" by smiggers (an excellent fic too). You really are transmitting a lot of feelings with this.

I can wait for the last 2 parts of the first chapter to be done so you can share it with the rest of the world ^^

By the way, I love your signature, the original image is just one of the most beautiful things I've seen. Thanks Evil Rick for making it.

About the Fishermen!Fate pic, it's just me or Fate is holding the fish like a guitar? The idea is funny xD Cute pic, though.

Cuídense y sigan sonriendo

[GlancingReverse]

My lack of Triangle Heart knowledge makes me feel very happy about not having to bother trying to understand this particular subject.

[Nijiru]

Originally Posted by GlancingReverse

My lack of Triangle Heart knowledge makes me feel very happy about not having to bother trying to understand this particular subject.

Hear hear!

[Nita]

.. Just how much I missed? I'm off for one day and i'm behind for like four pages already

@Alavon: Loved your new signature! I'm pretty much with Haru about you posting Animal Instincs on ff.net, gah, I love it already XD

[RadiantBeam]

Originally Posted by Nijiru

Hear hear!

But Triangle Hearts is awesome! D:

[Nijiru]

If I knew where and how to get it in English, I'd look into it.

[Rising Dragon]

Its like TVTropes said about it. Come for the Nanoha, stay for the plot.

[Nita]

Originally Posted by GlancingReverse

My lack of Triangle Heart knowledge makes me feel very happy about not having to bother trying to understand this particular subject.

It makes me feel bad, instead xD I feel that I'm missing so much just for not watching it. Maybe I should just sit and download it already @.@

[00-Raiser]

If you want to see Kyouya and Miyuki kicking ass accompanied by awesome music by KOTOKO, Triangle Hearts is for you!

[itanshi1]

Ah yes, Kotoko's first work was triangle hearts ^^

[deathcurse]

Originally Posted by 00-Raiser

If you want to see Kyouya and Miyuki kicking ass accompanied by awesome music by KOTOKO, Triangle Hearts is for you!

Kyouya and Miyuki kicking ass....

....and music by KOTOKO....

I'M SO THERE! (or so there again, since I'm kinda already there )

Yes, watch the OVA Then you can visualize the Miyuki fighting scene from "Day in the Life" with real imagery

[synaesthetic]

It's worth watching, plus it's a short OVA at only three episodes.

It's weird to watch if you saw MGLN first, too.

[itanshi1]

Its on youtube fansubbed, do a search. ^_^

[00-Raiser]

If only Ryoko Shiraishi voiced Miyuki in TH too...

[RadiantBeam]

Originally Posted by synaesthetic

It's weird to watch if you saw MGLN first, too.

I watched it after watching MGLN and didn't find it weird at all.

[Jimmy C]

Originally Posted by Dezopenguin

I hereby post the revised Chapter 21 of Stahlkonigin,

Great! Been waiting for this.

I've changed the Jarentil backstory to a desire to form a world government to petition for TSAB membership and administered-world status.

Straightforward and shouldn't raise any further controversy. Satisfactory.

Hopefully Force will get into this topic a little more, but that's neither here nor there.

Since Force seems to be about specific items and the people who carry it and maybe those who made it, I doubt it.

It's no longer capable of OHKO-ing Cranagan, but I hope that it's still sufficiently scary.

You might be interested in adjusting this one a bit though.

One Heimdall shot could obliterate an area with a three-kilometer radius, and they are capable of repeated fire, together with steady bombardment from its secondary weapons."

Total obliteration of an area 6km across is as neccessary to destroy something like the Cradle. However, secondary effects would be felt much further away. I wouldn't be suprised if it devastated everything within 30km of the detonation point. In short, one shot might not completely destroy Cranagan, but it would certainly render it non-functional as a city.
And speaking more of the Heimdall sats, perhaps it would good idea to order them to point their weapons away from the planet and shift into orbits that take the surface beyond their firing range? Anything that buys extra time should be used.

One-sentence discussion of why scrying magic won't turn up the AMF "blank zone."

I'm not sure it's clear enough.

Unfortunately, scrying magic won't work to find it due to the AMF; as I understand it the problem is that a scrying spell can't locate a 'blank area' unless you are looking for something within the AMF effect that the scryer knows is there but doesn't see.

The problem with this is, if you found the AMF, you've already narrowed down the search area to a small one.
On the other hand, if you haven't found the AMF, what would you see if the scrying spell passed over it? Would the scryer get a sensation that says, "I just passed over something I can't identify, although I have no trouble identifying the things around this area."?

As a side note--Yuuno teleports Arf away in one of the original season episodes (7, I think, or maybe 5?) and it's remarked that it'll take time for her to get back, allowing Nanoha and Fate to have their fight...but why can't Arf, herself a user of teleport magic, just pop right back?

It was 5. I thought of a few things that might be able to hinder teleportation for your situation, but they were stymied by the fact that Yuuno quickly and safely teleported Arf out of the way in that scene (I think he wouldn't have done it if such fast-cast teleportation had a good chance of telefragging Arf) But I did not recall that nobody considered Arf teleporting back just as quickly. Yuuno may have set up an barrier to keep Arf out before going to engage her, but that episode was unique in that they dispensed with the usual "keep-normals-out" barrier.

All in all, good changes that deal with most of the problems in the previous draft.

[Riyuu.afjc]

Originally Posted by TheShinySword

... I really hate when this happens.

There I am, minding my own business, and Satashi posts a video and I can't stop listening. Well after watching pretty Korean men use synchronized dance moves and snazzy tunes I couldn't hold it back.

Spoiler for Lyrical Boys Stage:

Lyrical Boys Stage

“They are soooo hot.”

Really? Discussing the hotness of boy bands in a library. Seriously? Yuuno Scrya, one of the librarians of the Infinite Library (it wasn't really infinite but it was said to be pretty close.) sighed as he shelved the never ending pile of books on his cart.

“Omigod, look at him! Chrono is just so, so cool!”

“I don't know Zafira is just dreamy~”

“You always did go for weird muscley guys huh. There are so many better guys in LBS!”

“Excuse me,” Yunno poked his head around the bookshelf.

The two girls on the other side looked surprised, as if they thought they couldn't possibly overheard drooling over a photo book in a very public location. For Kaiser's sake why did they pick a library? Go do these kinds of things in a coffee shop!

“You're disturbing the other patrons. If you could please keep it down...” Yuuno tried his best to sound as friendly and kind as possible, it wasn't hard, he didn't like to upset people. The nineteen year old had spent most of his life bowing his head and letting people use his back to get higher up. His only act of rebellion was his refusal to get more then a few inches of his hair chopped of. Instead he let his blond hair touch his shoulders, unless he tied it up with what could only be called a scrunchy.

“Oh, sorry.” The girls shut their “book” and scurried off, not giving Yuuno two glances.

He sighed and went back to the boring tedious work, after he finished that he returned to the other side of his job. Sitting at a desk and being bored by that. It was an endless cycle of monotony only broken by nothing.

Not by going home (just more books there), not a girlfriend (Ha ha ha, the girl Yuuno had liked since he was nine had never thought of him as anything more than a little brother according to her), and definitely not a social life (he had no free time).

Though, to say nothing broke his monotony... perhaps that wasn't true, Yuuno reminded himself.

After all, there always was-

“I'd like to check out this book.”

…

Were those sparkles?

Yuuno checked the counter, sure enough, some sort of glitter had fallen along with the book placed there. Great. That could only mean one thing.

“Can I see your library card?” Yuuno held out his hand.

Instead of a card, another hand took his. “Why you can see more than my card~”

Yuuno was pulled up, a hand wrapped around his waist, which was impressive considering the counter between the two of them, and his chin was tilted into what was undeniably a provocative position. Yuuno was getting a face full of abnormally flawless skin, like it had been replaced by plastic. It was really rather bothersome actually.

Flash. Click, click. Flash. KYAAAAA!

Oh great, he was causing a scene again, and what the hell were all these fangirls doing in the library!

“A-acous!” Yuuno ducked out of the green haired, pretty boy's arms. “I told you not to draw attention to me! Go use some other guy for your publicity shots!”

“No worries,” Acous chuckled and waves to the swooning crowd of girls, “This will just appear to be playboy Acous flirting with some random guy again.”

“...why can't you choose some other random guy!”

“Because the manager doesn't have business with some other guy.”

Yuuno paled, he thought he'd at least have a few days before he was needed again... “What is it this time?”

“Something about reshaping our image, new memembers yada yada yada,” Acous shrugged. If he didn't find something important he didn't remember it. “I have the car waiting.”

“Car?!?” Yuuno hissed under his breath, just loud enough for Acous to hear, “I don't want people to know who I am!”

“No worries, I have a disguise~ just follow me~” Acous grabbed Yuuno's arm and started walking off, once again ignoring the fact he was dragging Yuuno over a countertop.

“W-Wait! I still have work to do!”

“I've taken care of all that~” Acous waved him off and dragged Yuuno through the crowd of screaming girls, “Excuse me, ladies~” He flipped back his hair, a shower of sparkles dazzling the girls.

There were thuds as many of them fainted.

~~~

“Your idea of a disguise is a mustache and glasses combo...” Yuuno ripped the stupid thing off of his face as soon as he was sure there was no way anyone would see him in the car. No, rather LIMO. Always the showman, Acous couldn't be bothered to drive around normally like everyone else but rather in a stretch limo.

“Would it really be that bad if your cover was blown?” Acous chuckled, now that they were out of the public eye, he dropped his playful act. “Honestly, I don't see your privacy being something worth keeping.”

“Not all of us enjoy not being able to have chat with a woman without her fainting on the spot Acous,” Yuuno chuckled harshly, “I'm sure that's a perk in your opinion.”

Acous laughed it off, “I like women just as much as my men... okay maybe not just as much.”

It was hard to tell when Acous was joking and when he was serious... really really hard. Yuuno shook his head and decided not to think too much into it, a friend was a friend no matter what.

“...You know Yuuno.” Acous' eyes glinted with what could only be the same look a wolf gave a little lamb.

Friends should NOT stare at other friends like that.

Yuuno scrambled to the other side of the car seat. “Excuse me! Mr. Driver! Please hurry up!”

“Oh come now Yuuno you can't appear before Ms. Manager like this~ You have to get into character~~” Acous pulled out a bottle of gel and a brush from seemingly no where.

“WAAAAAH!”


~~~


The driver opened the door for Yuuno. Yuuno rolled out, falling to his knees on the ground. “Somehow... I feel like I'm no longer fit for marriage.”

“Oh don't be so silly Yuuno,” Acous elegantly stepped over him, showering sparkles as he went.

Acous had completely redone Yuuno. He'd gelled down Yuuno's hair and tied it into a snappy pony tail unlike Yuuno's normal mangy one. Acous had taken away Yuuno's glasses and replaced them with contacts. Even poor Yuuno's clothes were stripped away, replaced by something right out of a clothing catalog for the very rich and stylish. Finally, Acous had doused poor Yuuno in, what Yuuno swore was, glitter. Now Yuuno sparkled too.

Acous threw on a pair of shades and strode into the towering building ahead., with every step he fell back right into his persona, dubbed “the stylish one” by Mid-Chilidian Weekly. The headquarters of TSAB Records was a gigantic building to say the least. Yuuno followed him into the building.

“Well well look who finally decided to show up.”

Yuuno was slapped on the back in what was probably supposed to be a friendly gesture, but really just hurt. “Nice to see you too Chrono.”

“You're only a few hours late,” the black haired man,“the studly one”, folded his arms and glared at his old friend.

“Perhaps you should tell him when we're having a meeting Chrono,” Griffith Lowran, “the serious one”, pushed up his glasses and shot Chrono a sharp look.

“It's not my fault, I just found out too-”

Vice, “the goofy one”, slung his arm around Chrono's neck. “There are no excuses when the manager's your mom.”

Chrono groaned, “don't remind me, you think I haven't tried switching?”

Yuuno looked around, counting the number of men standing in the lobby, “Hey... where's Zafira?” Zafira, “the manly one”, almost never missed a meeting.

“I believe he's doing lunch with that group he used to be with, Reinforce and the Wolkettes,” Griffith looked down at his watch, “He should be here soon.”

“Yeah,” Chrono raised an eyebrow, “well Mo- Ms. Manager will be here any minute no-”

Chrono was cut off by the opening of the elevator door.

“Chrono~dear~” Chrono was snatched from Vice's arm and pulled into his mother's, and manager's, embrace. “How long as it been since you paid your poor mother a visit?”

“Git off!” Chrono squirmed “We just had lunch yesterday!”

“But that was as a full group~ why can't you spend some time with your mother outside of work?”

“Mrs. Harlaown, I'm sorry to interrupt but you called us here today for a reason right?” Yuuno wasn't sorry to interrupt the motherly love actually, Chrono seemed to be choking.

“Oh right!” She dropped her son and straightened her skirt. “Lyrical Boys Stage,” she addressed them by their band name, “I'm pleased to announce you'll be getting two new members!”

“...” The men all wore a blank stare. “Eh?”

Yuuno, “the cute one”, raised his hand shakily, “wait? Exactly what 'type' are we missing?”

Spoiler for A/N:

What type indeed, they have the cute the serious, the goofy, the studly, the stylish, and the manly, what's next, the shota? (No Erio you're not allowed to be in the Boy Band.)

How did they come to be called Lyrical Boys Stage?
I started calling them lyrical Boys then decided to randomly tack on Stage because that's how I feel band names are made irl.

I feel Acous is the kinda person who gets way too into his acts, he's an inspector so I'm sure he'd be a good actor.... and he's too pretty to just be out and out straight.

Btw does anyone have any interest in this being continued?

Originally Posted by Satashi

@Shiny:

Spoiler for Lyrical Boy Stage's first music video:

The screen fades in to Yuuno's outstretched hand, in which a girl's hand was placing a ring into. The sound of a heart beating echoed around as Yuuno slowly closed his hand while Nanoha withdrew hers. Slowly, the male turned around to avoid watching Nanoha walk away from him.

The view changes to what appears to be a room with a few wooden chairs scattered around. As the heart beats, different males walk into the room. Zafira at first, followed by Chrono, Vice, Griffith, Acous, and finally Yuuno.

"Its you..." Yuuno said softly as more beats started to play. The males around him repeated the words as the camera went to each of them, all looking as if they were sharing the pain of Yuuno's broken heart. Placing his hands together in front of his face, Yuuno began to sing in a soft voice. "I don’t need anyone else, it’s only you.
When you ask again, it’s only you."

Cutting to a street in a small town at night, Chrono was walking with his hands in his pockets, singing out where Yuuno left off. "Even if you already have another love-
I can’t forget you, I can’t turn back around."

Coming from the corner that Chrono passed, Zafira picked up as he walked away from the other man. "Oh~ The moment my eyes began to burn...The moment my heart was captured by you"

Acous got out of his convertible parked where his friend walked by and continued. "I have no regret, I chose you....That’s right, it’s you."

Yuuno looked up at the sky as the rest of his friends made it to him on the street. Together they all sang together, their feelings matching their hurt member's. "Ooohhh! whatever anyone anyone says, it doesn’t matter to me!" Together they all danced forward, moving their hands in rhythm to their footsteps. "Oh whenever fangirls curse me, I’ll only look at you." Yuuno, Acous, and Griffith put a hand in their left pocket while leaving their right hand out beside them, still stepping in beat, while Zafira, Chrono, and Vice bent forward a little and snapped their fingers while strutting as well. "Even when a new season starts, it’s still only you." Moving their hand in front of their faces, everyone began to go backwards. "Even as time goes byyyy"

The scene cuts to Yuuno running down the street with flowers in his hand before going back to all of them dancing on the street, where they moved together in a fast foot movement that continued up their bodies before pointing to the side.

As Yuuno walked by an outdoor seating area, Zafira got up from a chair and closed a note in his hand."Oh when you tell me you love me, when you tell me thousands and millions of times!"

Vice walked behind Zafira and picked up the lyrics as he went down the sidewalk. "Even when my heart sets on fire, my dry lips wear out." As he went by a corner, you see Chrono spray painting on a graffitied wall.

"Even when I’m born again, it’s still only you." The scene moved around, showing everyone on the street again, hand over their chests above their heart. As the heartbeat sounds again, each of their chests pumped with teh beating "Oh oh only for you Oh oh only for you~"

...

*laughs evilly in the background*

Un-freakin'-believable.. hahahahahahaha...

well done well done *claps*

[DezoPenguin]

Originally Posted by Rising Dragon

My lack of Triangle Heart knowledge makes me feel so left out of this particular subject. =/

Originally Posted by GlancingReverse

My lack of Triangle Heart knowledge makes me feel very happy about not having to bother trying to understand this particular subject.

Originally Posted by Nijiru

Hear hear!

While Triangle Hearts is excellent, and I so wish I'd gotten to see the game to see all about Shinobu and the Tsukimura family (though I could do without the H-scenes...), and the OVAs are great fun, and Kyouya and Miyuki get to be completely badass...

...the true problem here is that your lack of Triangle Hearts knowledge is actually keeping you from realizing that Triangle Hearts has nothing to do with the point I was making.

Originally Posted by Jimmy C

Since Force seems to be about specific items and the people who carry it and maybe those who made it, I doubt it.

Yeah, me too...I'm just hoping.

Total obliteration of an area 6km across is as neccessary to destroy something like the Cradle. However, secondary effects would be felt much further away. I wouldn't be suprised if it devastated everything within 30km of the detonation point. In short, one shot might not completely destroy Cranagan, but it would certainly render it non-functional as a city.

There's a subtle point going on here, and it ties in with my stance on the "magic versus technology" debate--that there are no secondary effects outside the effect radius (note that I don't refer to it as a "blast radius") in terms of fallout, clouds of ash, etc., etc. Yes, obviously if the underpinnings of a structure are destroyed the rest of it's going to fall, if important parts of the infrastructure are obliterated the rest of the city will be affected and so on, but a magical strike doesn't do the same kind of secondary damage that conventional weaponry do (it's one reason why the TSAB uses them--magic is controllable in a way conventional means using "ordinary" physics are not).

Of course, if the reader disagrees, it actually makes the terrorists' threat more effective and dangerous, which better supports the effect I'm trying to produce with the story...a slight rephrasing to make the issue more ambiguous.

The problem with this is, if you found the AMF, you've already narrowed down the search area to a small one.
On the other hand, if you haven't found the AMF, what would you see if the scrying spell passed over it? Would the scryer get a sensation that says, "I just passed over something I can't identify, although I have no trouble identifying the things around this area."?

I wish that I could take a couple of paragraphs to explain it, but the problem is there's no way to do it in the framework of the story.

Here's the way I see it: when we see scrying magic used in A's, a window opens up filled with a cloudy field. The scrying field will show what it is the caster is looking for: people, for example. What it doesn't show is everything else. For example, in Chapter 18, Vivio scanned the area to locate the various people within the building, and was able to identify their locations in real space with respect to each other and to her. But she had to have Parsifal map those to a plan because her scrying spell can't find the people and the building at the same time. It doesn't function like a remote-viewing camera, for example.

If there had been an AMF field within the building, it doesn't appear on the scrying spell as a blank spot where the magic doesn't penetrate. It just appears as somewhere where she doesn't find any results. Unless a person moves through the building, and enters the AMF area, they'll vanish from the results, which will tip off the scryer that something happened. But the AMF itself isn't detectable on its own; it can only be located by testing the environment around it and seeing where things they should be able to find no longer appear. And if you don't know what should be within the AMF (particularly since the Nest's AMF radius is not large), there's no practical way to conduct these kind of tests over the entire city at a rate of speed.

[Satashi]

Ugh...

I lost a whole section of what I wrote for Amber Dreams.

I'm skipping past that part and still writing, I should hopefully have it done soon so I can go back and re-write some parts... After that, its off to be reviewed by Dezo (love you), and beta read by... *sighs* Angel isn't available now due to her rotation. I'll try and bribe Dezo with home made fudge if he'll beta read it as well :3

[RadiantBeam]

Originally Posted by DezoPenguin

While Triangle Hearts is excellent, and I so wish I'd gotten to see the game to see all about Shinobu and the Tsukimura family (though I could do without the H-scenes...), and the OVAs are great fun, and Kyouya and Miyuki get to be completely badass....

Plus, you know, if by some chance you follow my story "Bless the Broken Road" it's kind of helpful to know about some small facts of Triangle Hearts since the whole story was inspired by the OVA and actually has characters from said OVA involved along with the main Nanoha cast.