Dating

[0utf0xZer0]

Originally Posted by Jazzrat

Plenty of people seems to believe that , a word of advice to those seeking an asian partner... STOP... go back, think about the person you want to be with instead of their skin colors.

I know you probably just intended this as a warning, but I want to make it quite clear that my preference for asians does not mean I am blind to other factors. They may get a "wow, she's cute" from me very easily but they have as much trouble getting any more attention from me as other girls do.

Since leaving high school four years ago I've seriously considered dating a grand total of three girls - two asians and one white girl. To me, you might as well make a deal out of the fact that all three of them wear glasses at least part of the time.

Originally Posted by Yuelon

@0utf0xZer0

That does and I didn't mention cause mix culture friend isn't rare now days so really being attracted to or attracted by is really doesn't matter just means how much you love that person over culture/religion. So its a free love now days only parents from the other era cares about such thing, really nothing to be shy about!!

I think you're misunderstanding what I was trying to point out - that's probably my fault for giving so little info though.

My dad grew up as one of the only white kids in his class in Hawaii and then moved with his family to a part of Vancouver that had a large Japanese immigrant population. Correct me if I'm wrong on this, but both Hawaii and Vancouver are known for having a lot of mixed race couples and have had that reputation for quite a while. Certainly there are a few among my parent's friends. It might not have been as popular as it is now but I suspect he may have had the option.

So why did he marry within his own race? To be totally honest, I have not idea. It could have been a preference for his own race or it could have been just that he happened to like my mom in particular. I just thought I'd throw the story out there since it seemed relevant to what we were discussing.

(Well, okay, there is one thing that I supposed one could count in favour of the "prefers white woman" theory: my dad sometimes comments that his Scottish genes are trumped by essentially everything. I'm not hugely concerned with that - there's at least one Chinese restaurant in this city that co-ops Scottish traditions as part of it's Chinese New Years celebrations. I'm serious.)

[Yuelon]

Originally Posted by 0utf0xZer0

I think you're misunderstanding what I was trying to point out - that's probably my fault for giving so little info though.

My dad grew up as one of the only white kids in his class in Hawaii and then moved with his family to a part of Vancouver that had a large Japanese immigrant population. Correct me if I'm wrong on this, but both Hawaii and Vancouver are known for having a lot of mixed race couples and have had that reputation for quite a while. Certainly there are a few among my parent's friends. It might not have been as popular as it is now but I suspect he may have had the option.

So why did he marry within his own race? To be totally honest, I have not idea. It could have been a preference for his own race or it could have been just that he happened to like my mom in particular. I just thought I'd throw the story out there since it seemed relevant to what we were discussing.

(Well, okay, there is one thing that I supposed one could count in favour of the "prefers white woman" theory: my dad sometimes comments that his Scottish genes are trumped by essentially everything. I'm not hugely concerned with that - there's at least one Chinese restaurant in this city that co-ops Scottish traditions as part of it's Chinese New Years celebrations. I'm serious.)

Oh ok sorry.

Haha that restaurant sounds nice I feel like trying.

[rainnydaiis]

Originally Posted by Dakota

But if a girl I liked was a Twilight fan, I'd dump her ass faster than garbage disposal.

Lol I know exactly what you mean. My GF is like a minor Twilight fan and I think its just dumb. I'm use to reading vampires that don't talk out their problems or glisten in the sun. But rather go on bloody rampages and kill.

[Kylaran]

Originally Posted by 0utf0xZer0

So why did he marry within his own race? To be totally honest, I have not idea. It could have been a preference for his own race or it could have been just that he happened to like my mom in particular. I just thought I'd throw the story out there since it seemed relevant to what we were discussing.

I feel like there's three main points being stressed about by people in this thread: money, physical attraction, and the ideal of love. However, I don't feel like these are the only limitations to marriage, or even dating. Sometimes marriages just work out with someone you happen to date and like, which will eventually turn to love; money is a part of this, but there's also random chance, limited geography, and a lot of random things that you just aren't aware of.

Certainly, I'm not doubting your parents that your parents married with love, but I always think of my relationships going through phases as something like this: "Oh, I just happened to know her. We just happened to meet up just the two of us. There just happened to be some sort of attraction. Now we just ended up dating." Looking back in hindsight, I'll think: "I like her for these reasons," but when I'm in the moment, there are just so many factors I can think of, it seems to me like choices I make will necessarily include my emotions at the time about family, friends, the economy, my job, my future, etc. etc. etc. Could it have been fate? Perhaps, but it's just so hard to think clearly and analyze the situation. Knowing the full story and how it played out makes for a tale of its own, though.

I think preferences for skin color do not blind people from the actualities of dating. It's just that physical preference for a skin culture seems to be a fairly common method of actively dating or actively thinking about the opposite sex in romantic ways. It doesn't mean the attraction is made up, either. It's like being aware of your own preferences and working toward achieving a... perhaps, idealized version of a mate. In the end, I think a good amount of dating and marriages happen based on circumstances that are out of control, or at least factors not able to be manipulated by the individual.

[Jazzrat]

Originally Posted by rainnydaiis

Lol I know exactly what you mean. My GF is like a minor Twilight fan and I think its just dumb. I'm use to reading vampires that don't talk out their problems or glisten in the sun. But rather go on bloody rampages and kill.

Because it's targetted at girls. Women loves vampire stories more than guys imo.

[Skullchukka]

While it isn't probably the best place to comment about this, but judging by the ongoing "Asian Girl" theme, I'd like to add my point of view.

I really dislike seeing asian (mostly; Japan) girls becoming "Americanised." I'd like to beforehand add I have no grudge-what so ever against any country, including America.

What do I mean by saying Americanised? Well, the 'verb' itself obvious. It means abandoning their current culture (or moving away from it) to become the "American Teen" or "American Lifestyler" that they are introduced in movies, TV shows and so on.
While I can not deny the fact that the whole world is on such curve, the ones that most disturb me is Asian people. Girls for me, and also men to some extend; and men for lots of my friends that are female.
A Japanese girl brings lots of people images of pureness, cuteness, a respectful girl and so on. While this may be called "stereotype" by some people, I have to remind you that their culture shaped them in this way, well; the majority.

And what happens then you take that image; make it "Americanised" in every way? A sweat dripping asian girl in a cage, dressed up with least cloth as possible, extreme non-fitting make up, and enlargement & changes of their body parts.

...

Totally destroys the image, don't you think so?
-- To some extend I might understand Japanese not being interested in their own culture; they were born and raised there, and the unknown (American, european, etc.) are fascinating to them, so they try and imitate what they see.
Do you think they are being drifted away from their own roots with this? What are your thoughts on this? Please respond in a non-political way ^^

[stubby42]

I disagree with absolutly everything you've just said, I dont understand why you think liking american culture means their abandoning their own, and as for being Americanised?

What gives you the right to judge if its a good or a bad thing?

If you mean moving away from traditional gender roles then to be blunt they have every right to do so.

I think you know your wrong because you asked us to respond in a non political way.

I've had people suggest that I'm throwing away my culture before and it really annoys me because I'm not, its just I'm adapting to life in a new enviroment and trying new things.

For the past two years I've lived on and off in Canada and the UK (I'm british) and I've done stuff that I would never of done at home, including going to a rodeo, hockey game, CFL game, listened to country music, longboarding and ice skating on a frozen lake

but I'm guessing the biggest reason people have suggested I've thrown away my culture is because I change the way I speak when I'm in Canada.

That really annoys me because when you go abroad for more than a few weeks and only meet people from the country your in (the second time I went over, it was with three british girls, I was the only guy) it happens.

One because people cant understand you and it gets pretty tireing having to translate all the time (though I'll admit its fun to play up to ocassionally) but you also pick up the language and it becomes a part of your speach pattern.

That doesnt mean I've thrown away my culture, I'm still British.

[LeoXiao]

And what happens then you take that image; make it "Americanised" in every way? A sweat dripping asian girl in a cage, dressed up with least cloth as possible, extreme non-fitting make up, and enlargement & changes of their body parts.

This isn't people becoming Americanized so much as it is people trying to fit in with what the corporate culture advertises. Since sex sells, the above image is becoming more popular. The stereotype of Japanese (and other ethnic groups) people is that they are more immersed in their traditional cultures than Americans, who invented the corporate culture in the first place and are thus the most inundated in it. However, corporatism is not only American, and other countries have their own modern cultural products of the capitalist system. Therefore, I think that what you see as "Japanese girls becoming Americanized" is actually just an observation of the development of their own [Japanese] corporate culture.

And yes, I agree with you that it is sickening.

This is unfortunately not a recent fad, evidence of "Kong Girl" in the making can be spotted even in my mother's generation. Women have grown to be more and more materialistic in the Hong Kong society. Not all women in Hong Kong are like this, it's not like you'll be doomed with a Kong Girl if you live in Hong Kong, but the majority of the female population thinks this way.

And I assume it's often these kind of girls who prescribe to the aforementioned image. Again, it is my view that they're just fitting in with corporatism.

[0utf0xZer0]

My very Canadian approach to this problem: the best asian girls are the ones who manage to take the best of their ancestoral culture and mix it with the best of whatever culture they happen to be in.

I do not believe that a girl has to embrace corporatism to be western. Nor do I believe that she needs to necessarily hang on to the gender role baggage to be Japanese. I like reserved girls because I have a reserved personality. I'm not so hot on doormats.

That doesnt mean I've thrown away my culture, I'm still British.

Somewhat off topic (not that this whole discussion isn't already), but I'd be curious as to your perspective on the fact that many Canadians seem to have trouble figuring out exactly what being Canadian is "aboot". Aside from having a religious like devotion to your local NHL franchise.

[Samari]

Originally Posted by Skullchukka

While it isn't probably the best place to comment about this, but judging by the ongoing "Asian Girl" theme, I'd like to add my point of view.

I really dislike seeing asian (mostly; Japan) girls becoming "Americanised." I'd like to beforehand add I have no grudge-what so ever against any country, including America.

What do I mean by saying Americanised? Well, the 'verb' itself obvious. It means abandoning their current culture (or moving away from it) to become the "American Teen" or "American Lifestyler" that they are introduced in movies, TV shows and so on.
While I can not deny the fact that the whole world is on such curve, the ones that most disturb me is Asian people. Girls for me, and also men to some extend; and men for lots of my friends that are female.
A Japanese girl brings lots of people images of pureness, cuteness, a respectful girl and so on. While this may be called "stereotype" by some people, I have to remind you that their culture shaped them in this way, well; the majority.

And what happens then you take that image; make it "Americanised" in every way? A sweat dripping asian girl in a cage, dressed up with least cloth as possible, extreme non-fitting make up, and enlargement & changes of their body parts.

...

Totally destroys the image, don't you think so?
-- To some extend I might understand Japanese not being interested in their own culture; they were born and raised there, and the unknown (American, european, etc.) are fascinating to them, so they try and imitate what they see.
Do you think they are being drifted away from their own roots with this? What are your thoughts on this? Please respond in a non-political way ^^

Is this really important? Everyone is different. Taking precedence in another culture doesn't mean you have to forget your own.

[Ledgem]

Originally Posted by Skullchukka

And what happens then you take that image; make it "Americanised" in every way? A sweat dripping asian girl in a cage, dressed up with least cloth as possible, extreme non-fitting make up, and enlargement & changes of their body parts.

I took offense to that. What makes those things American instead of some other culture? Hell, isn't South Korea world-renowned for undergoing heavy plastic surgery on a large scale? "Non-fitting makeup" is subjective. "Sweat dripping in a cage" - not sure where you got that from, the closest thing I can think of is Christina Aguilera. If that's what you were thinking of, too, then let me remind you that while Aguilera is an American, she's thought of as blending in South American culture more so than "pure USA."

Not that I'm claiming that South Americans get into sweat-clad, caged girls, but it sounds like you're upset when Asian girls look and act a bit slutty. I think everyone will agree that sluttiness is all over the place (except for in places like Iran, where it's persecuted violently) - why single out America for it?

Originally Posted by Skullchukka

Totally destroys the image, don't you think so?

Oh, I don't know, depends what you're into. My fiancee is Chinese-American. If she were a perfect China-doll, I'd probably not have much interest in her. The fact that she'll occasionally wear shirts that reveal her shoulders (gasp), experiment with makeup (gasp), or even speak up against my opinion (double gasp! How dare she! What does she think she is, an American?! How un-Asian of her!) doesn't really bother me, to be honest. I prefer it that way, even.

And yes, I finished this post still miffed, so excuse the sarcasm.

[ChainLegacy]

I think Skullchukka is looking for the term 'globalization,' which can be lamentable because it does cause historical culture to decline. To suggest it is corrupting Asian women, however, is a conclusion made from stereotypes.

[Cipher]

Originally Posted by ChainLegacy

I think Skullchukka is looking for the term 'globalization,' which can be lamentable because it does cause historical culture to decline. To suggest it is corrupting Asian women, however, is a conclusion made from stereotypes.

While they are affected by globalization, their own culture and "western-influences" does combine to form a a different newer culture they can call their own. Just look at current fashion trends in japan. They may be westernized but they're still very different.

[ChainLegacy]

While this may be true, we can't deny that all the old world cultures are slowly declining. This might be inevitable and there will probably always be some influences from the past but there is little doubt everywhere is becoming more similar, for better or worse.

[Samari]

So it's Thursday and I'm reporting what was a very unexpected, but eventful Wednesday.

So basically me and my good friend were hanging out at a club last night in Mountain View, California. That is about 40 miles south of San Francisco. I came down by train. I know that I didn't really have that much money, but there was no coverage charge at the club (since it was a Wednesday) and my friend is only here for a limited time before he goes back to Indiana for finish nursing school.

So we get there around 10:30pm. We're there for his friend's (a girl) 21st birthday party. The place isn't that packed and it stays like that for the majority of the night. I think the most crowded it got was 20-25 people. The place wasn't even that big. And the DJ wasn't really playing at lot of great mixes/songs in my opinion. A lot of 80's vintage club mixes in the middle of the week I suppose.

Anyways, we're basically just "chillin" most of the time. We dance with the birthday girl and her one friend for a little bit at the beginning, but the birthday girl keeps hitting on my friend (like super extensively) and he really doesn't like her in the fashion. After a while he isn't feeling well so he goes around the corner to get some meds and comes back to the club in about 20 minutes.

It's during this time I meet a brand new friend. I see this gorgeous girl kind of on the outer edge of the deserted dance floor. She looks like she's basically standing there. She seemed really lonely and since I was by myself for 20 or 30 minutes anyways, I felt I should go over there. So I do and tell her "Hey you look really lonely over here by yourself, mind if we share a dance?" She then replies sincerely "Errmm...one second!" She then goes around to the bar section and starts talking with this guy. I assume this is her boyfriend or something. Not sure at the time. She then comes back and we start dancing for a while. She doesn't have the much confidence in her dancing, so I told her "It's okay we'll keep it simple." And we have a good time. Apparently she is a nurse from the east coast and recently moved here from the west coast. She doesn't have a boyfriend. And that guy she was with, apparently came with her to the club as a friend who was interested in her, but he didn't want to dance. Just wanted to sit at the bar and look cool or something. And then he starts hitting on another girl a few feet from where we were dancing!!! At this point she is really fed up with him I guess. I really felt bad for her because here was this guy being a complete jerk and she told me she recently got out of a relationship where this other guy cheated on her.

A while later my friend Joshua comes back and I introduce her to him. We all hit it off nicely and after a while we leave the club pretty much when it closes. Our new friend wants to chill a while still. So we go to Denny's and eat. Then even after that at about 3:30am she is down for pretty much anything. And she comes up with the idea of swimming back at her place. We all agree and go back to Joshua's place first and get some swimwear for me and him and then go to her super nice apartment complex and go swimming in a heated spa pool. I mean her living area looks really nice. And she looked super nice in a bikini. I mean SMOKING HOT. Me and Joshua just looked at each other when we had a moment where she wasn't looking and said "Wow."

Then today we all hung out again around San Francisco. Didn't have much time, but we ate a little bit. I felt really bad when I first met her at the club. He was this intelligent, beautiful girl with great manners and a great sense of humor being thrown to the side by this asshole. I really don't get why some dudes have so much pride in not dancing and boring the hell out of their female escort. Then he started hitting on another girl. I was really just glad that she got away from him and we left without even acknowledging that guy. I also felt that when we were first talking we had good chemistry. Honestly if I wasn't committed with someone else, I may have tried to make a move and take things further. But I told her I have a girlfriend and all of that so we're all mature about the entire thing. Also, she had just been kicked to the curb by that other guy and already had a bad relationship not too long ago where she got played. So I didn't want to give that much of an impression in that certain way. If anything I was trying to give my friend Joshua (who is single) some alone time with her to try and get to know her. He's leaving soon to Indiana though until December so nothing significant would probably come within a few days. Plus, I think he may just want to try and be friends with her at this time anyways. I think she's a little older than us (like around 28 or 29) but she's still really cool. We're going to try to see "UP" next week. My girl comes back to town on Tuesday and she has been wanting to see UP with me all summer. So I could introduce my girlfriend to our new friend as well. Maybe we'll try to bring that foreign student that is staying at my friend Joshua's place out for some fun (who is actually Chinese not Japanese to my surprise.) All in all, good times.

[jonli]

With all this asian girl talk.

I thought I should point this out.

If you search white girls on google you get a bunch of relationship problems, especially ones like asian guys can't get white girls (video, very funny).

If you search afghan girl on google you'll get that famous war photograph on TIMES (the girl with sad green eyes).

If you search asian girls on google you'll get a bunch of porn sites.

[Ledgem]

Originally Posted by Samari

And she looked super nice in a bikini. I mean SMOKING HOT.
...
My girl comes back to town on Tuesday and she has been wanting to see UP with me all summer. So I could introduce my girlfriend to our new friend as well. Maybe we'll try to bring that foreign student that is staying at my friend Joshua's place out for some fun (who is actually Chinese not Japanese to my surprise.) All in all, good times.

Be careful with this one. You know your girlfriend better than I do, but some girls (especially those who may be a little bit less confident about themselves, their appearance, or how you feel about them) are really pained by seeing you making friends with another girl, especially an attractive one. Some people like to scream "insecure, controlling bootch" when they encounter a girl like that, but I don't think that's the case at all. Hell, if your (general your; not you singled out, Samari) girlfriend found some single, ultra-attractive nice guy and became good friends with him, you're telling me you wouldn't feel even a bit of insecurity? If that's the case, you either have supreme self-confidence (perhaps to the point of arrogance) or you wouldn't care if you lost your girlfriend.

The other thing to be careful of seems obvious, but it's worth noting all the same. Copied and pasted, with bold empashis mine, from what I found to be an incredibly insightful post at Slashdot (regarding fidelity in marriage; yeah, wouldn't expect to find a post like this at a site like that). It's advice for how to make marriage last and probably shouldn't be taken too seriously for someone who's dating and has not yet decided to be fully committed, but it's good advice regardless:

Re:NLP Alternatives (Score:4, Insightful)
by Rei (128717) Alter Relationship on Wednesday August 05, @12:16PM (#28958987) Homepage

I would add some more -- the big relationship breakers:

#1: Don't cheat. This sounds obvious, but...

#2: Don't think that you could never cheat. Cheating in marriage is incredibly common, and most people who ended up cheating were people who thought that they could never cheat on their spouse. Recognizing that humans are hardwired to be at risk for cheating, that humans are still capable of falling deeply in love with someone other than their spouse during marriage, is the first step toward prevention. The second step is if you develop feelings toward someone else or someone else develops feelings toward you, end contact with that person immediately. The absolute worst thing you can do is to discuss your feelings with them; that will only amplify the feelings, especially if they reciprocate.

#3: Avoid spouse-approved sexual experimentation involving others (X-somes, etc) and so-called "open relationships". They impose too great of a risk for devolving into emotional attachments with the others that can strain the original relationship or unintentionally causing resent by your partner, even when both parties begin by insisting that they're okay with it. Follow the KISS principle: Keep It Simple, Stupid.

#4: Stay in tune with your spouse's needs. Absolutely do NOT expect that this will just happen on its own. Talk with your spouse at least once a month about their feelings, whether they're happy with their life, etc. It's an awkward topic to bring up, so most people just avoid it -- but that just leads to people suppressing the things that they're unhappy with. And when they're not having a need met by the relationship, they're at risk for turning elsewhere to get that need met. Don't let these conversations lapse as the relationship goes on; they become more important with time, not less!

#5: Help your spouse stay in touch with your needs. Don't pester, and be very gentle about it, but if you have a long-running issue, bring it up. If it's a sensitive subject, use extra caution when talking about it. However, don't let resentment on some issue fester inside of you.

#6: Money is the root of all evil. In most divorces, money is at least a partial cause. In particular, the issue is debt. Buy a smaller home, fewer cars, take fewer vacations, etc than you think you can afford, keep off of ebay, etc, and you'll relieve a lot of that potential monetary strain by keeping your debt levels low to begin with. The most stressful situation is when you're already deep in debt and you find that you need something expensive, be it replacing an air conditioner, medical bills, or whatnot.

Best of luck!

[Samari]

Originally Posted by Ledgem

Be careful with this one. You know your girlfriend better than I do, but some girls (especially those who may be a little bit less confident about themselves, their appearance, or how you feel about them) are really pained by seeing you making friends with another girl, especially an attractive one. Some people like to scream "insecure, controlling bootch" when they encounter a girl like that, but I don't think that's the case at all. Hell, if your (general your; not you singled out, Samari) girlfriend found some single, ultra-attractive nice guy and became good friends with him, you're telling me you wouldn't feel even a bit of insecurity? If that's the case, you either have supreme self-confidence (perhaps to the point of arrogance) or you wouldn't care if you lost your girlfriend.

To be honest, ever since Wednesday when me and my friend met this girl, things have felt...bad. Like really bad. This Friday morning at a quiet day at work I felt worse. And here is the reason: I think I'm kind of attracted to this girl. That wasn't the only thing on my mind. There are other problems in my life that have been bothering me. Financial problems. But this girl coming into my life certainly didn't help.

Even though I was the first to meet this person Wednesday night, it's basically been me, my friend Joshua, and the girl hanging out. If you read in my last post in this thread, it was a whirlwind Wednesday night. And I was actually trying my best to hook my friend up with this person. She's a little older than us (around 28) and seems pretty well off (has a nice car, nice living area) for a single person in the bay area. My friend Joshua has a pretty wealthy family as well so he has access to a lot more money than I do, and other things like a car. And I don't. I thought they would be a good match since they both happen to be in the nursing field. But I think my buddy for now wants to just be friends with her. As do I. Well, that is WHAT I believe I want. I just don't know why I feel differently. I wish I didn't.

I got a text message from Joshua this morning when I was at work. He told me that she stopped by his place, cooked his family breakfast or something and dropped it off and he gave her some toy necklace or whatever. And she started blushing or something. I don't know all the details, but when I read the text, I'm very embarrassed to say, that I felt really jealous. I don't know why. I shouldn't. And I don't want to. I have a girlfriend that comes back Tuesday after being away for three months. And we've been together for twice that time span. I swear I love her so much. But now I'm doubting myself sadly because of this stupid infatuation which I really DON'T want happening.

I don't know why I can't just meet an attractive girl with a nice persona like I did Wednesday night and not feel enticed. It's ridiculously sad and I feel ashamed. I should be able to control my emotions. My friend Joshua goes back to Indiana until December to finish nursing school, and like I said my girlfriend comes back Tuesday. I'm hoping this is just going to subside after a while and things will return to normal after getting to see my girlfriend for the first time in months. I don't know if I will and or should hang out with the girl I met Wednesday in the coming months. I mean she's a new friend I made, but I'm guessing being around her more is just going to make things worse. Then again I don't want to be shady.

Stuff like this really makes me want to go to the gym and work out. As if I didn't have enough on my plate already. Now I have to deal with some stupid crap like this.

EDIT: Just got a text from my buddy at 2am. I think he's trying to make me jealous or something. He mentioned that she's really amazing and that he owes me one. I really didn't want to inquire what that meant exactly. I guess I should be happy for him. I mean I did try to leave them alone at times.

EDIT again: Errrm...I guess I really am an idiot. After a few texts back and forth, he really was trying to get to know her better, and was sincerely thanking me. I guess they went on a date and he was asking me for advice on how to proceed...like the good friend he is. Since he really likes her. I feel a lot better now. I think this entire infatuation thing is over. Ironically I should be thanking him. I guess...
__________________

[King Lycan]

Originally Posted by Samari

I got a text message from Joshua this morning when I was at work. He told me that she stopped by his place, cooked his family breakfast or something and dropped it off and he gave her some toy necklace or whatever. And she started blushing or something. I don't know all the details, but when I read the text, I'm very embarrassed to say, that I felt really jealous. I don't know why. I shouldn't. And I don't want to. I have a girlfriend that comes back Tuesday after being away for three months. And we've been together for twice that time span. I swear I love her so much. But now I'm doubting myself sadly because of this stupid infatuation which I really DON'T want happening.

I don't know why I can't just meet an attractive girl with a nice persona like I did Wednesday night and not feel enticed. It's ridiculously sad and I feel ashamed. I should be able to control my emotions. My friend Joshua goes back to Indiana until December to finish nursing school, and like I said my girlfriend comes back Tuesday. I'm hoping this is just going to subside after a while and things will return to normal after getting to see my girlfriend for the first time in months. I don't know if I will and or should hang out with the girl I met Wednesday in the coming months. I mean she's a new friend I made, but I'm guessing being around her more is just going to make things worse. Then again I don't want to be shady.

Stuff like this really makes me want to go to the gym and work out. As if I didn't have enough on my plate already. Now I have to deal with some stupid crap like this.

Well speaking from experience this happens to me ALOT and i think its kinda common for this to happen to men, your girlfriend comes back on Tuesday don't break a sweat you will get over her. I mean you can still like her and just be friends(i have about 3 friends who i like and were friends) unless you really really really like her then I'll advise breaking that friendship. And i'm actually kinda impressed you didn't try to do anything crazy .

[Kakashi]

Originally Posted by Samari

I don't know why I can't just meet an attractive girl with a nice persona like I did Wednesday night and not feel enticed. It's ridiculously sad and I feel ashamed. I should be able to control my emotions.

Because she's an attractive girl with a nice persona? It's pretty normal to feel enticed in my opinion. Wait until you see your girlfriend again and see how you feel.

I have to say stories like this always make this thread interesting.