Nanoha FanFiction Discussion

[Satashi]

Originally Posted by Evangelion Xgouki

Yea yea...I'm working on it . Apparently I seem to be getting known for writing WAFF fics and a few of the Outer Cadians thought it would be great to 'volunteer' me to write a little side fic .

PS: Ah yes, I also have an OC. Let me know if you want a link Satashi

If you have fics posted, link me to the fic itself, and your OC profile so I can put it together for you. Please include: Name of story, links to chapters, brief summary, Rating, a main couple if you feel like it's needed, and any comments- if any- you'd like to add. If you need them posted, feel free to do them here :3

Originally Posted by Saint X

AlternateS I

*runs towards LART shelter*

I'll be back!

I'll try as soon as I can ^^

Originally Posted by krisslanza

Satashi-sama promises nothing. Even if Satashi-sama says a promise, Satashi-sama is always too busy to keep them! :P

Since I'm sure Satashi-sama may have mentioned a looking at my own writings is in order...
...
Typing without using 'he' or 'she' is very hard.

T_T that's mean. I'm just not good with OC stories because I'm all "wait, who is that...? What's going on...? I don't know anyone here... @_@;;;!!!!"

and call me "He" or "she" whichever you want, I'll go with either.

Edit: Woot woot!

[krisslanza]

How many page claims have you gotten Satashi-sama? Really? You have some crazy knack for getting them

And well... I do my best to describe OCs! The only thing you don't know about Rune is like... Her full past! ... Because I haven't gotten that far yet. I hate making bios

[Satashi]

Originally Posted by krisslanza

How many page claims have you gotten Satashi-sama? Really? You have some crazy knack for getting them

And well... I do my best to describe OCs! The only thing you don't know about Rune is like... Her full past! ... Because I haven't gotten that far yet. I hate making bios

A lot :3 I check the forums at times: 8:00, 10:00 , 12:00-1:00, 3:00, 6:00 and constantly when I'm at home lol. Those are my break times at work :3

Haha, that's kinda helpful make a bio so I can link to it XD

Oh, and Saint X, I read that chapter actually but never reviewd lol. I recall that I liked it, specially Yuuno.

edit: Teaser for upcoming chapter of Saved by the Bell:

Spoiler for Every teen's worst nightmare:

Fate gets "The talk"

[krisslanza]

*Shudder of utter horror* The dreaded... "Talk". No one ever looks forward to that

Aww but Bios are booooooring. But I guess it is one of those nessecarry evils... I'll put finishing Rune's bio 3rd on my list of things to do. 1 is School of Lyrical and 2 is Arc-en-Ciel: Ashes unto Dust :P (To a point. I think I can skim by a few chapters without her past... To far back anyway)

[Evangelion Xgouki]

Originally Posted by Satashi

If you have fics posted, link me to the fic itself, and your OC profile so I can put it together for you. Please include: Name of story, links to chapters, brief summary, Rating, a main couple if you feel like it's needed, and any comments- if any- you'd like to add. If you need them posted, feel free to do them here :3

Got the link to my meager OC profile right here.

[Saint X]

Special Copypasta from the OC, a (good) crack OCxSubaru idea that i'm pushing for my next Fanfic after AlternateS I- which i'm planning already.

- several ideas are from already established dimensions shows, so bear with it.


- it's just a sample anyway, so far

Spoiler for AlternateS II Sample Arc: The First Fusion Pt. 1:

Kyla was adamant about the evaluation of MD6, well she did had a tendency of testing people under her command, especially newbies- the Aces had a taste of that before, and now their forwards were being evaluated, not just on their overall capabilities, but also on how much they have learned from their teachers. The Silvana had now landed and was now sitting peacefully on the shore of the lake, the ruins Kyla had designated as the proving grounds a few miles away. In addition to aboveground structures, the ruins had miles of catacombs and tunnels, perfect for such proving- a great contrast to the Aces' own proving grounds, which was artificial, the AX grounds were all natural.

"Okay... Here is the drill, Stars, Lightning, you go with a designate from Cross, since those two have already went thru this, they will help you in any way- think of the arrangement as a Velkan Trinity Unit."

The forwards look at the two members of the brand new Cross Squad- which was formed only yesterday. They have been introduced that day, but today was the day that they would get to see them in combat- they have only vaguely heard of the events surrounding the Key Devices, their keepers and the relation of all of those towards the Aces. Subaru was the only one being pessimistic- well that first encounter had knocked the image of Ashton in.
Minutes later they were now split up- The Stars had Ashton, since that group lacked a support mage while the Lightning had Rurika, since that lacked a ranged attack mage. Back at the Silvana, tensions were running high.

"I still can't believe that something strange has stirred up near Kagami Base..." Kyla could only sigh as she looked at the monitor, the two teams well ahead, still looking for clues. "And sorry for asking your members when it was supposed to be us looking."
"Don't worry admiral." Nanoha replied. "This will be a good opportunity to let them learn something new- from you."
"I'll take that." Kyla replied, and the turned to another screen. "Chacha, How's things up there?"

Overhead, Chacha was fully clad in her barrier robe, scanning her surroundings.

"Nothing over here..."

"Good... Any news over on your end, Commander Windbloom?"

Another screen opened, revealing the newest commanding member of AX, the expatriated Queen Mashiro of the still besiged Planet Earl.

"Nothing over here..." the queen turned commander replied. "Not even the Kagatsuchi's sensors have picked up anything."

Meanwhile, the Stars have stopped to rest, to the advice of Ashton and to the annoyance of Subaru.

"You know, we don't have to waste time..." Subaru almost whined.
"Subaru, at least let him help up with this... he's been thru this before you know." Tea replied, somehow supporting.
"I know that Nakajima, but we need to rest- and Miss Lanstar's correct, we must rest- since there is nothing up here, we might as well go into the catacombs to look." Ashton replied.

Meanwhile at Lightning, both Caro and Ruri sense something.

"Do you feel that guys?" the archer asked.
Caro and Erio nodded together.

The suddenly, Chacha and the Silvana's sensors spot something...

'Massive drone swarm detected...'

- to be continued -

Spoiler for AlternateS II Sample Arc: The First Fusion Pt. 2:

Previously...
'Massive drone swarm detected...'
---
"Chacha, you coordinate with Nanoha and the others and intercept as many as you can!" Kyla then ordered.

Then two screens opened, one bearing Commander Mashiro's face and another bearing two more familiar faces, Kha and Yuuno- both of which have been looking up north- Kha's trinity is in the background resting.

"What's happening over there?" all three people asked.
"We are in deep trouble... come here at your best speed..."
"Roger... We'll be there as soon as we can..." Yuuno replied.
"I'll send Arika, Nina and reinforcements ahead..." Mashiro replied.

Both screens signed off and Kyla ordered the bridge to be lowered and the engines spooled for flight. In the meantime, the aces have already joined Chacha and were intercepting the swarm. Meanwhile, the ground forces are also being swarmed upon, with AMF at full blast, well making them fight hard- well the non-Dei types that is.
We tune our cameras to Ashton who had just finished retrieving a dagger at the end of metal line. The drones surrounding them were sliced into multiple pieces. Subaru and Teana were somewhat amazed- they were always finding ways to beat AMF but his weapon passed thru them like a hot knife thru butter.

"This is not the time to be amazed... Praesulus..." Ash then spoke.
"Ready" the Key device responded.

But before he could do anything, a couple of rifts appeared, and out of them appeared humanoid figures in black, with large claws for hands. Ash reacted by throwing his line, but it got blocked- by a barrier.
In the sky, Chacha encountered the same thing- she can wreck AMF gadgets easily, but when the black drones appeared, she was having a hard time- and the aces could not do anything while the AMF strength was still strong.

"That's impossbile... Anti-Physical Shielding?" Kyla wondered. "This is bad. Minerva, take control... Vincent, wake up Gard and the others- i feel sorry for them pulling that all nighter hell week but we have to... I'm going up."

Back with the Stars, the two drones that cornered Ash were taken down by a couple of shots from Tea's device.

"These guys are much smarter than before, and even to manage doing two things- my guess is that the black drones shield against physical attacks and are weak to magic, while the gadgets buff up their defense, by using AMF to prevent magic from hitting them." Tea inferred- quick as always.
"So in the simplest sense..." Subaru then spoke, beating another black drone down with her bare force. "We need to beat the gadgets to beat these black drones..."
"Well that's good..." Ashton commented.
"And what do you mean by that genius?" Subaru retorted.
"This... Praesulus... Gap it!!!"
"Gap Generator..." the Key device on Ash's left hand responded, creating a field that nullified the AMF.

In the meantime, in dark space, someone had been watching the battle. and then, a computer display lit up.


The suddenly, all the destroyed drones returned, and the Gap Generator Spell turned off. And at that exact moment, CC, who was at the base, felt something wrong. In the meantime...

"This is nuts!!!" Ashton yelled. "We have to pull back!"
"Yeah, but where to?" Subaru asked.
"To the Catacombs..."
"That would be a good Idea..."

Spoiler for AlternateS II Sample Arc: The First Fusion Pt. 3:

Previously...
"This is nuts!!!" Ashton yelled. "We have to pull back!"
"Yeah, but where to?" Subaru asked.
"To the Catacombs..."
"That would be a good Idea..."
---
Meanwhile, back at the dark space...

"Good Work X.A.N.A." a dark voice came in. "And it seems that you are enjoying mine and the doctor's toys too much... but remember to capture the Dei boy before he reacts..."
"As you wish..." the AI known as X.A.N.A. Zwei replied.

Back at the Lightning, All seemed well, despite the increased resurgence of drones- Ruri had known what the plan was and worked with Erio to achieve it- Caro had successfully used her Dragon Soul Summon and they were now beating drones left and right, Erio and Ruri (-neesan) on the ground while Caro and Friedrich above them.
But at the Stars however, things were not good. A stray shot manages to blow Tea away from the other two, forcing her to float to stabilize (assuming that she can manage it by now).

"Tea!" Subaru could only yell as she was being dragged by Ashton.
"Go! I'll manage!" Tea replied back.
"But..."
"Come on!" Ashton replied, pulling her towards the open catacomb entrance. "She'll be fine..."

And so the two disappeared, followed by a flood of gadgets and black drones. In the Catacombs, they began to run thru hundreds of feet of passage, trying to hide. and after a few minutes and a sudden abrupt turn later, they managed to hide in a chamber, drones passing along the chamber opening, not even knowing that they were inside.

"Phew..." Ashton sighed as he sat down.
"Tea..." Subaru could only say.
"She'll be okay..."
"Okay? How can you say that?!! You don't know her at all!"
"I'm sorry..." Ashton apologized, in a tone that was much nicer. "Typical of me... sorry... but you know we must have faith."

Back on the surface, just as Teana was about to be swarmed, a powerful blue bolt of light shot from out of nowhere, hitting all the drones around her. And as they exploded- or rather imploded into nothingness, she notices a girl wearing a similar type of robe armor to Chacha and holding a huge blue weapon- It was Arika.
At the Aces' end, a flash of blue and green around Chacha was all it took to swing the balance back.

"Scrya-niichan, Kha-niichan..." The Otome android exclaimed in relief.

Back in the catacombs...

"It won't be long before they can find us..." Ashton finally spoke as he stood up. "If worse comes to worse..."

He then remembers the words his Mother always told him.

"My child, there will come a time that you must react- even if it's against our will, you must do it... but you have to choose wisely... the person who you will react with, you must have feelings of comfort with- in short, you must be comfortable with the person you will eventually be with..."

"Da**..." Ashton could only say. "I guess we have no choice..."
"What choice?" Subaru wondered.
"Well... about that incident... sorry..."
"Okay..." Subaru could only reply- stunned.
"And actually, I know this is strange, but I feel somewhat comfortable around you..."
"Huh?" Subaru asked, a bit of embarrassment on her face. "What do you mean?"
"Well i meant what I-"

*CRASH*
One of the chamber walls gives way, presenting to the duo a gang of bloodthirsty droids, AMF and shields pumping at full power.

"Not Good..." Ashton could only mumble. "Arrgh! i don't care if she kills me later... i have to do this!"
"Do what?" Subaru manages to hear the last phrase.
"Give me your hand..."
"What?"

The drones crept slowly.

"What do you mean?" Subaru again asked and turned a bit irritated. "First of all you did 'that' to me yesterday and now you're asking me for my hand?"
"Come on... We'll die if we don't do this!"
"No way Gen-"

Ashton forcefully grabs Subaru's armed arm (Right) and clasps his hands together with hers. At that instant, Subaru's seal appears and a powerful wind began to blow, pushing the drones back. And at the same time, Ashton and Subaru could hear a song... a strange, yet familiar and warm song.

"What... wha-wha-what is this song..." Subaru could only think as she was being mesmerized by the tune, and also began to sing it. "This... feels... so... warm... and fuzzy."

By this time the wind began to cover the two of them. Thru the wind, Subaru noticed Ashton turning into glittering lights and those same lights surrounding her.

"This feeling... i can't explain it... but it feels soo nice..."

Minutes later, the wind began to die down, and thru it, Subaru's closed eyes open.

-- To be continued ---

Spoiler for AlternateS II Sample Arc: The First Fusion Pt. 4:

Previously...

"This feeling... i can't explain it... but it feels soo nice..."

Minutes later, the wind began to die down, and thru it, Subaru's closed eyes open.
---

"This feeling..." Subaru could only think as she began to examine herself.

And she had changed- well "added" is the technical word for what happened. while the top had only sported minor changes- as in adding a small side mideal headband, from her legs to her chest sported some additional armoring (when i meant chest- yes, armor now protects her 'assets' ).

"Wow... this is..."
"Amazing..." Ashton's voice came in. "This feels strange..."

Subaru's wonder turned into shock as Ashton's ethereal image appeared behind and beside her- well blank naked for starters, making Subaru look down at his lower regions and hint a bit of red before speaking.

"Could you cover that zone please?" She asked, shyly pointing 'down there'.
"Sorry..." Ash replied, now limiting his visual size, now the area from his waist below is faded. "So this is how it feels..."

The drones still kept creeping slowly.

"So you're what?"
"I'm a weapon... a weapon that fuses with another person to be used... and right now you are also using my device as well..."
"Huh?" Subaru wondered as she looked at her left hand- there was Ashton's device... "Hey! what's the meaning of this anyway?!! how come we are now so close that i feel that you are groping me- no make it you are now officially groping me-AGAIN!!! Get off me!"
"Even if i wanted to, I can't... you have to die first before you can even unbind from me and that will make us both dead- with me following seconds later... so either you stick with me, or be dead..."

The drones are now in range, and the gadgets are now firing, the shots simply bouncing off the armor.

"Let's settle this later..." Subaru replied and readied her Revolver Knuckle. "Revolver... SHOOT!"

The armed device performed as always, but this time, it had recoil.

"WHAAAAAAA~" Subaru could only somewhat scream as her own shot pushed her back so much that Mach Caliber had to spin up just to keep her from impacting with the wall.

The shot however, hit the mark, carving a clear row thru the ranks of gadgets.

"Even with that kind of shot each time..." Ashton once appeared and spoke. "They're still too many... Lend me your left arm..."
"That again?!!"
"Please..."
"Either this or die right?"

Subaru reluctantly extended her left arm and the astral image then held the arm and it began to move- in the meantime.

"My hand... it feels soo warm... soo nice... i wish i can have this feeling on my body... wait... why am i enjoying this?!! a man is currently sharing my body!!! But... but..." Subaru could only think as Ash's Dei-type summoning seal appears on Subaru's outstrched palm.
"Arise Isis!!!" Ash's words then resounded.

The most powerful summon of Dei had now appeared in all her glory- once feared by even the aces, when it was still under the command of Illicida Mornay- Praesulus' previous keeper, when it was still a Sealed Device. AS soon as she appeared out of her seal, she dashed towards the nearest drone, kickslashing it out, followed by some slashes with her glass blades and some energy shots as well.

Back on the surface, the tide was now in favor of the mages.

-- To be continued --

Spoiler for AlternateS II Sample Arc: The First Fusion Pt. 5:

As the Animus fought at capping one end of the chamber, Subaru and Ashton were trying to get out the other end. They managed to blow up just enough drones to pass thru, now speeding in one of the larger passages.

"We have to get out of here..."
"I know that... sheesh." Subaru could only say to the ethereal image as they sped on. "You know... you'll be..."
"Behind you!!!" her 'partner' now called, alerting her.

Subaru quickly spun around and managed to block a black drone. Moments later, flashes erupt from behind the drone and it goes down, revealing the Isis.

"Thanks..." Subaru then spoke.
"That makes us even..." Ashton replied.
"Oh no... that's not enough! you still owe me a lot of things."
"Okay... you can pound me later on. Isis, keep them busy while we get out of here..."

Meanwhile at the surface, the last of the drones was destroyed- nonetheless by Vita. Everyone now started to gather around Kyla, having called them.

"Okay, who's missing?" She began to ask. "21st, Lightning, Crystals (lol even Otome in the bureau have a team), White Valkyries, Me and Yuuno, Nanoha's group and Wokenritter... that leaves..."
"Admiral..." A tired Tea raised a hand. "Subaru and Mcdouglas are not yet here- they went into the catacombs to escape the drones."

Just as Tea finished her line, the ground began to shake. then, from a tunnel entrance near Tea, Subaru and Ashton (still together) sped out, followed seconds later by the summon. Kyla prompted quickly, standing infront of the entrance and already switched to Siege Mode. She quickly fired off her Chain Rocket attack hitting the sidewalls and blasting the incoming gadgets, making sure that those that survived will have a hard time digging themselves out. then moments later, a huge area of the catacombs caved in- destruction guaranteed. Kyla had to lower part of her body though to be able to swing the siege frame to block most of the heavy debris.
Everyone coughed at the dust that was created, and even some- like some of the white valkyries, had to float just to breathe easily. And when the dust settled...

"Subaru!" a relieved Tea approached him. "We thought we never see you again..."
"You can say that again Tea..."
"Where is Ashton?" Rurika then asked. "You were with him, right?"
"Yes and he's currently..."

Then as if on cue, Ashton's image appears behind Subaru, also coughing from the dust. All who were there we stunned.

"Stuck with her..." Ashton finished the line.
"Oh my..." Kyla, the Aces and Yuuno and Kha and the 21st could only gasp- it was like the time when the 'keys' were still 'seals'. "Just like Illicida..."

Then a whirlwind covers the fused pair and from it they emerge as separate people once again. and then moments later.

"See? we're just... fine..."

Subaru fainted right here and then, and almost hit the ground if it weren't for Ashton's quick hands.

-- Scenario End ---

[Satashi]

Originally Posted by krisslanza

*Shudder of utter horror* The dreaded... "Talk". No one ever looks forward to that

Specially when you're 17 and it's after your mom just *spoiler alert! XDD not telling*

Originally Posted by Evangelion Xgouki

Got the link to my meager OC profile right here.

The stories there, should I add those to the archive? If so, could you give a brief summery of each and rating? I will do the linking and formatting for you.

@Saint X: should I add that to your archive as a teaser post or anything?

[krisslanza]

Could Satashi-sama add my little freewrite teaser of Arc-en-Ciel: Ashes unto Dust to my little profile thing too? o:

[Kourin]

Originally Posted by Keroko:

A nice Signum/Shamal bit, albeit I did have some reservations about Vita 'pretending' to be arrogant (I'm of the opinion that before becomming Hayate's knight, she was arrogant, makes the development more fun).

Originally Posted by ghazghkull:

Just recently managed to look at it earlier this evening. It looked good. As for Vita pretending, not likely. She was always hot headed and brash, even in StrikerS, despite living with Hayate and being around Nanoha all the time mellowing her out a bit. But all in all, Vita's hot-headed as ever, so I really don't see how she's any different.

thank you both for your comments. about Vita, at first I just thought that rash people tend to do things they regret before they could think it out then regret it later. and Vita is a nice girl underneath it all. also, Signum and Shamal were probably the only ones who were remotely nice to Vita pre-Hayate. but the two of you are right... it is unlikely that Vita will be that apologetic as their past didn't really allow any chance for her to develop 'nice'. so i've made changes. thanks again for reading and your comments. really helped.

[krisslanza]

Does er... Someone have like a link to as how dating works under this "Class K" (Though I hear it is Class S) thing works? I need to know before I can really write anything more in School of Lyrical... *Has no dating experience*

[Saint X]

Originally Posted by Satashi

@Saint X: should I add that to your archive as a teaser post or anything?

you can, it's your decision...

i don't expect anyone to comment, much less a single review :P

[Satashi]

Originally Posted by krisslanza

Does er... Someone have like a link to as how dating works under this "Class K" (Though I hear it is Class S) thing works? I need to know before I can really write anything more in School of Lyrical... *Has no dating experience*

Where two girls go on a test date?

[krisslanza]

Well I know that much :P
I mean like... Is it a test date of like the real thing? >.> I need to know like... You know... How much of a 'real' date is it. Go out for candlelit dinners and all that? XD Try and end with a kiss? :P

[Satashi]

Originally Posted by krisslanza

Well I know that much :P
I mean like... Is it a test date of like the real thing? >.> I need to know like... You know... How much of a 'real' date is it. Go out for candlelit dinners and all that? XD Try and end with a kiss? :P

Depends on the girls.

for example......

If Subaru and Nanoha did it. I think they would go to a movie, have a nice romantic dinner, and end the date at teh doorstep with a "was it fun?"

if Nanoha/Fate did it They would probably go to movie, romantic dinner, then go somewhere else ( look at the stars or something to unwind form their hectic lives) then probably end up kissing at the end.

It all depends on the people. Basically ask yourself this: Are your characters close enough to kiss on a pretend date? the date's relation toa "real" one is how close the two friends are.

[krisslanza]

Hmmmm I see, I see. Thanks Satashi-sama.
I was about to leave and feared I wouldn't be able to do much writing since I didn't know exactly how 'real' this practice date is

Well off I go! I'll see about finishing the next chapter in a few days or so...

[Reiji Tabibito]

Originally Posted by Satashi

Double post FTW!

Okay, so I lied.

Saved by the Bell VI
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3991951/6/

Enjoy

edit: once you read, check out This post for pictures of Saved by the Bell! (spoilers for chapter 6 so don't look at before you read)

Okay, pretty good.

Granted, it's not crap, but it isn't making me hang on the edge either...

...but don't feel bad. I've been reading anime ffs since I was in highschool, and am a pretty jaded reader.

Ask Aaron.

Originally Posted by Satashi

Diary entries will be at the end of every chapter, mainly talking nonsense just to give an inside view on how they view each other. Also for character development. Both girls want a tattoo, Fate's butterfly and Nanoha's angel wings.

Who knows, maybe the tattoos, although small, can be plot....

Does Nanoha have an idea for how big she wants her wings to be...?

I've seen them range from the size of the hand to the WHOLE back...

Originally Posted by Satashi

Well, I never thought my fanfics were leet but I stopped for the night and saved and.......

Spoiler for they are very leet:

Nya.

[Satashi]

Originally Posted by Reiji Tabibito

Okay, pretty good.

Granted, it's not crap, but it isn't making me hang on the edge either...

...but don't feel bad. I've been reading anime ffs since I was in highschool, and am a pretty jaded reader.

Ask Aaron.


Does Nanoha have an idea for how big she wants her wings to be...?

I've seen them range from the size of the hand to the WHOLE back...

Nya.

Any ideas for improvements?

Nanoha wants them to be small, like the size of her fist.

Nya.

~~~~~~~~

Archive updates will take place tomorrow.

~~~~~~~~

I was writing tonight and realize that I just rambled. I'm not very happy with it right now, as it's 3,000 words already and 60% of it is just Nanoha and Fate talking on the phone. Granted, I worked in something hilariously funny for the people who requested something, but still... This chapter may end up being really long if I don't take out this random stuff...

[SpaceBrotha]

Originally Posted by Satashi

I was writing tonight and realize that I just rambled. I'm not very happy with it right now, as it's 3,000 words already and 60% of it is just Nanoha and Fate talking on the phone. Granted, I worked in something hilariously funny for the people who requested something, but still... This chapter may end up being really long if I don't take out this random stuff...

Your fic, your call.
but length rarely matters as long as it's good, and most people count hilarious as 'good'

[Reiji Tabibito]

Originally Posted by Satashi

Any ideas for improvements?

<sighs, thinks>

Let me think...

Your writing style is solid: both descriptive and concise, and you obviously know enough of the English language that you don't need to keep using the same words over and over again.

Characterization, for what I've seen, is pretty much spot on - there're a few inconsistencies, but they are hugely minor compared to what you've gotten RIGHT.

Your genre usage is good, as well: when you want to be funny, when you want to be serious, you are.

Your stuff IS kinda difficult to read, format wise, but that's FF.net's fault and not yours.

Frankly, the main idea that I have for improving is more EPIC source material. I went thru your 6th Division stuff, and it's good.

You focus on everyday events, and that's good. Things like the ARIA franchise have made it HUGE doing just that kind of thing...

...but the problem is that they'll never win any awards. To my experience, people read fanfiction for one of two reasons...



1) As the song goes, "you wanna be where you can see, our troubles are all the same - You wanna be where everybody knows your name."

Or what I call the Cheers Syndrome - that even the heroes we look up to have the problems we do.

This is why people write high school and other such stories.



2) To dive into epic and fantastic worlds where the fate of many lies in the hands of a few.

Or what I term the Lord of the Rings Syndrome - seeing the heroes kick ass, look cool doing it, fight against an evil foe, and ultimately win the day.


You do #1 like no one else I know - but a good author can do 1 & 2 with equal ability.

The only improvement I can suggest is -

Less of 1, more of 2.


Do keep this in mind, though:

The authors on my shelf are some of the following:

Tom Clancy

Clive Cussler

Jack DuBrul

James Clavell

Umberto Eco

And other such persons.

Originally Posted by Satashi

Nanoha wants them to be small, like the size of her fist.

<nods> Okay.

Originally Posted by Satashi

Nya.

<laughs>

Sorry, "nya" is sort of a general, all-purpose phrase, the meaning of which depends on HOW it's phrased.

It's something that I picked up from my fiancee - she normally used it when she was irritated, but I ended up spamming it for so many things that she dropped it and found herself a new all-purpose phrase.

Here, "nya" is like "okay."

I'll try and make it's usage more apparent...

[SpaceBrotha]

Originally Posted by Reiji Tabibito

<sighs, thinks>

Spoiler for awesome rant is also loong:

Let me think...

Your writing style is solid: both descriptive and concise, and you obviously know enough of the English language that you don't need to keep using the same words over and over again.

Characterization, for what I've seen, is pretty much spot on - there're a few inconsistencies, but they are hugely minor compared to what you've gotten RIGHT.

Your genre usage is good, as well: when you want to be funny, when you want to be serious, you are.

Your stuff IS kinda difficult to read, format wise, but that's FF.net's fault and not yours.

Frankly, the main idea that I have for improving is more EPIC source material. I went thru your 6th Division stuff, and it's good.

You focus on everyday events, and that's good. Things like the ARIA franchise have made it HUGE doing just that kind of thing...

...but the problem is that they'll never win any awards. To my experience, people read fanfiction for one of two reasons...



1) As the song goes, "you wanna be where you can see, our troubles are all the same - You wanna be where everybody knows your name."

Or what I call the Cheers Syndrome - that even the heroes we look up to have the problems we do.

This is why people write high school and other such stories.



2) To dive into epic and fantastic worlds where the fate of many lies in the hands of a few.

Or what I term the Lord of the Rings Syndrome - seeing the heroes kick ass, look cool doing it, fight against an evil foe, and ultimately win the day.


You do #1 like no one else I know - but a good author can do 1 & 2 with equal ability.

The only improvement I can suggest is -

Less of 1, more of 2.


Do keep this in mind, though:

The authors on my shelf are some of the following:

Tom Clancy

Clive Cussler

Jack DuBrul

James Clavell

Umberto Eco

And other such persons.



<nods> Okay.



<laughs>

Sorry, "nya" is sort of a general, all-purpose phrase, the meaning of which depends on HOW it's phrased.

It's something that I picked up from my fiancee - she normally used it when she was irritated, but I ended up spamming it for so many things that she dropped it and found herself a new all-purpose phrase.

Here, "nya" is like "okay."

I'll try and make it's usage more apparent...

Well, besides the two you mentioned, people also might want to read FF for romance, additional background, character developement (for shafted people IE hayate), and sometimes even for tragedy...

...But your two reasons tend to be the main selling points of many series and movies outside of fanfiction as well, for they ARE good things to have in just about anything