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Old 2015-01-25, 22:46   Link #55801
blitz1/2
Tenshi's Defense Squadron
 
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Fighting against those who oppress the system
Quote:
Originally Posted by StratoSpear View Post
No no no no~

I mean ACTUAL male. A guy. No sex change or "disguise as opposite gender" crap. And yes, without public knowledge.
The only thing I could think of that MUST be linked to the Orimura bloodline. And no, none of those self inserts from America.
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Old 2015-01-25, 23:15   Link #55802
wavehawk
Some say I'm the Reverse
 
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Well, there'd have to be a good reason for the secrecy. We can rule out male-dominated countries (probably STILL the United Arab Emirates) because they'll be the first to jump out and lay claim to having a male IS pilot (and then justify it as men being superior to women). A corporation or Intelligence agency may be more likely, and it would have to be circumstances wherein keeping this secret is more important than the potential rewards.

The reasoning for why he can use an IS should be sound, because to date there's no definitive word on why Ichika can pilot an IS short of he's Chifuyu's brother and that maybe (just maybe) Tabane might have done more than she admits to the system to allow him access. Also note that there's probably no shortage of fic ideas about male IS users, so if you're going to write it it better be original yet plausible. Genetics is the obvious one (being related to the Orimuras or the Shinononos).

Why not get someone with physical deformity or some sort of condition wherein he can't function at all without an IS or similar exoframe? Kind of like Stephen Hawking---maybe even write it that Tabane (out of pity or even just for shits and giggles) let him have access to an IS, but he's unable to function without it?

Another possibility:
http://ironman.wikia.com/wiki/NTU-150_Armor
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Old 2015-01-25, 23:39   Link #55803
blitz1/2
Tenshi's Defense Squadron
 
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Fighting against those who oppress the system
Quote:
Originally Posted by wavehawk View Post
Well, there'd have to be a good reason for the secrecy. We can rule out male-dominated countries (probably STILL the United Arab Emirates) because they'll be the first to jump out and lay claim to having a male IS pilot (and then justify it as men being superior to women). A corporation or Intelligence agency may be more likely, and it would have to be circumstances wherein keeping this secret is more important than the potential rewards.

The reasoning for why he can use an IS should be sound, because to date there's no definitive word on why Ichika can pilot an IS short of he's Chifuyu's brother and that maybe (just maybe) Tabane might have done more than she admits to the system to allow him access. Also note that there's probably no shortage of fic ideas about male IS users, so if you're going to write it it better be original yet plausible. Genetics is the obvious one (being related to the Orimuras or the Shinononos).

Why not get someone with physical deformity or some sort of condition wherein he can't function at all without an IS or similar exoframe? Kind of like Stephen Hawking---maybe even write it that Tabane (out of pity or even just for shits and giggles) let him have access to an IS, but he's unable to function without it?

Another possibility:
http://ironman.wikia.com/wiki/NTU-150_Armor
And HOW many times has this been done? Just go into the fanfiction.net category and just look at how MANY of these have the SAME synopsis, "....and what happens when another male pilot joins...". It's equivalent to beating a dead horse.
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Old 2015-01-25, 23:47   Link #55804
wavehawk
Some say I'm the Reverse
 
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Quote:
Originally Posted by blitz1/2 View Post
And HOW many times has this been done?
- Thus why I said "Obvious".

Why do you think my fic has a female character who CAN'T pilot an IS (and gets her ass whooped by a side character in an IS)? At the time I started, everyone else was going the obvious path.
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Old 2015-01-25, 23:57   Link #55805
blitz1/2
Tenshi's Defense Squadron
 
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Fighting against those who oppress the system
Quote:
Originally Posted by wavehawk View Post
- Thus why I said "Obvious".

Why do you think my fic has a female character who CAN'T pilot an IS (and gets her ass whooped by a side character in an IS)? At the time I started, everyone else was going the obvious path.
Yours was good, but I was complaining about the general fanbase authors.
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Old 2015-01-26, 00:04   Link #55806
wavehawk
Some say I'm the Reverse
 
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
It's not really that good. And I'm at the stage that I'll be glad when I'm finished writing it, since it's stressing me out intensely.

Quote:
There were heavy footsteps as Ichika slowly dragged his half-dead body to his dorm room. He sighed, possibly for the hundredth time that day. From keeping Laura, Rin and Cecilia from opening fire on one another to avoiding Houki's ire, the remains of his energy were drained from the day's practice session. In front of the room door, he wondered whether or not the girls were getting more out of the practice session than he was. They certainly spent more time duelling each other than training him anything new. If they were more like Charl, he began thinking. Then stopped as he recalled how dangerous a quietly angry Charlotte could also be. Nevermind. Just let me be alone for tonight.

At that moment, the door opened right in front of him.

"Ja-jaan! A wild Tatenashi onee-san appears~!"

"Oh. It's you." Ichika just look back dumbly at Tatenashi Sarashiki's peppy smile. At least she's fully clothed this time.

"Just 'oh, it's you'? That's so cruel, Ichika-kun!" Tatenashi replied in her charmingly joking manner. The trademark folding fan popped open, the words 'tease' written on them. "After all we've been through, is that the way you greet me?"

"I don't have energy left." Orimura shambled past Sarashiki, and just fell facefirst into the bed. There were only two possibilities in his mind: Either Tatenashi was going to tease him again, or she was going to put him through one more practice session. The fact was that he was tired. Too tired to even sleep, as he was still conscious of Tatenashi sitting beside him. The fan gently tapped Ichika's forehead, far more gently than he had been expecting.

Her scent. The familiar fragrance of her closeness soothed him despite Ichika's resistance.

"Ichika-kun?" Tatenashi's voice was oddly subdued this time. "Have you had any other childhood friends?"

A tired but still awake Orimura replied "...you're not going to suddenly make up some crazy story about how you're my third childhood friend, are you?"

"Now, why would I do that?" the fan popped open again to hide her fox-like smile, 'Honesty' written on it. Just as quickly it snapped closed. "Do you remember all of your childhood friends?"

"I'm too tired to make a list."

A giggle. "Then, who's the one you first remember?

"Houki."
Ichika smiles despite himself, remembering Houki as a child. Sometimes he found it odd that he could not remember anything at all before his sister brought them to live with the Shinonono family, just as he turned five years old. But it had never really bothered him. Even if Rin and his other old friends Dan and Ran complained about how skewed his memories seemed to be on events.

"Would your childhood friends do everything they could to protect you?"

"I would protect them." Orimura said that absently, remembering the Silverio Gospel incident all too well. And of Laura, Cecilia, and Charlotte. "It doesn't matter how long I know them, I would protect them."

"But would your childhood friends do the same thing for you?"

"Houki would do the same for me. Rin, too. And probably even Dan and Ran--you don't know them." He was getting tired. "They're the only ones, I think."

The room went silent. Ichika felt as if Sarashiki were waiting for him to call out another name. She waited a minute longer before standing up.

"Tatenashi-san?"

"Good night, Ichika-kun." She waved goodbye with a smile on her face as she switched off the lights. "You'll be really busy in the future."

The remark puzzled his fatigue-addled brain. Ichika wondered why Sarashiki's cheerful voice sounded different, almost forced. But he quickly lost consciousness to sleep.
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Old 2015-01-26, 00:38   Link #55807
StratoSpear
Titans Test Team Pilot
 
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: The Elysium
Gents, please, I'm not propagating male IS users to be superior or some shit. All I had in mind was a story whereby there is a male pilot that precedes Ichika but was never made known to the world. In other words, he doesn't get thrown into ISA and starts robbing girls' hearts. His very existence is known within a small development team.

Think about it, the implications of his ability being made known would throw the world into a frenzied manhunt. Unlike Ichika, he doesn't have the luck to be protected by a neutral nation. Of course, circumstances can vary. Said character may not even be involved in anything grand and flashy like our CCs are in, probably something small, out of world and probably ending up with that male pilot either dying or disappearing for good.
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Old 2015-01-26, 00:46   Link #55808
wavehawk
Some say I'm the Reverse
 
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Quote:
Originally Posted by StratoSpear View Post
Gents, please, I'm not propagating male IS users to be superior or some shit. All I had in mind was a story whereby there is a male pilot that precedes Ichika but was never made known to the world. In other words, he doesn't get thrown into ISA and starts robbing girls' hearts. His very existence is known within a small development team.

Think about it, the implications of his ability being made known would throw the world into a frenzied manhunt. Unlike Ichika, he doesn't have the luck to be protected by a neutral nation. Of course, circumstances can vary. Said character may not even be involved in anything grand and flashy like our CCs are in, probably something small, out of world and probably ending up with that male pilot either dying or disappearing for good.
- Or running away never to be found.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Pre...28TV_series%29
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Old 2015-01-26, 00:59   Link #55809
StratoSpear
Titans Test Team Pilot
 
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: The Elysium
And end up saving the world in one way or another before/while doing so.
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Old 2015-01-26, 01:28   Link #55810
wavehawk
Some say I'm the Reverse
 
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
It would be a summer day in Australia that I would find myself writing about winter in the north of Japan and struggling to keep up with it.
Quote:
Progress was slow through the snow-whipped night.

In the snow, her grey and white suit was invisible. The wind would howl, then suddenly stop. Along with it the snow crystals would either dance lightly or cut at what little was exposed of her face. The cold weather in the valley areas would drop to -4.1 degrees centigrade, but in the mountains it was -10 degrees. That would drop even further the longer at night she stayed. The snow began to curdle in the gust.

Whiteout. When snow and wind struck so strong, that there was no sky and no soil. The sounds of wind made it difficult to hear.

The white was more perfect than darkness.

She stopped in the emptiness. Nothing could be done, as she could not risk losing her way in the near-blizzard. All she could do was stay her ground, wait out the gusts. Alone in the frost of the mountain, <Ren> sat crosslegged in the snow. She set the bow and arrows pinned betwwen legs and right ankle, not wanting to risk their loss. Slowly, her limbs began to numb, but not from the cold.

Focus. Concentration on the task.

Her hands interlocked, and she made gestures known only to herself. The nine kuji-in, hand symbols used to focus one's thoughts in meditation. The symbols both had meaning and had none. A tool, like any blade in <Ren>'s arsenal. Originally a buddhist form of prayer, people long thought these were forms of dark and haunted ninja magic. The Arashikage clan did not bother to correct that misconception.

Time passed so quickly for others, but to her the seconds drew out like churning ages. Nerves slowed, drawing out the small agonies she still felt. Winter moved backward as her mind slowly lost track of pain. The cold. The heat of her breath under her mask.

Focus.

The mind-set of the Arashikage. The cold was forgotten now. The stabbing pain in her right arm and leg continued, but the meaning of that pain faded from view as she picked up her weapons and stood against the wind. Carefully she tested the bow, ensuring the ice and frost had not frozen the cams and wheels on it.

Memory.

Long before she was taught to throw knives, her father taught her this skill. It honed her ability to aim and strike targets. Knives, shuriken and other improvised thrown objects became more practical and common in her line of work, but she began learning with the bow and arrow.

The art of the longbow was a samurai's skill, as much as the long sword was a samurai's weapon. Like the art of the sword, the art of the bow was passed down with meticulously prescribed technique, cerewmony and ritual. For show, not for practical use. <Ren> had no use for ceremony. The bow existed to hit targets at range. A shorter bow, lacking in the range and size of the traditional longbow of old, was more useful to her line of work. Easily carried. Lightweight and durable. And the compound bow she used allowed for more power and range than a traditional short bow of the same size.

She pulled the drawstring, a mild pressure on her right arm. The pain was not gone. It was still there, but merely as a reminder. It did not hinder her, and her thoughts were free of it. The task at hand was all she could think of.

A sound.

Three of the eight arrows were now in her left hand, and she notched one, pointed forward and guiding her way. The other two were hooked between her two small fingers, ready for fast follow-up shots. She wasn't hitting distant targets, but people just a few meters outside her arm's reach.

The Ear that Sees. Her father taught her that skill as well. In a place where vision is unreliable, <Ren> listened intently. Filtering out the noises of wind and snow. She could not shoot on sight, but she could hear them. The steps in the snow, the breaths. The occassional sneeze or muttered curse. Cold wind, and the mildly irritating scent of sulfur. <Ren> remembered that the peaks at Daisetsuzan were all volcanoes, of varying levels of activity. This was one of the many reasons Hokkaido was still popular in the chill of winter; natural hot springs. It was that same reason her targets were stationed here as well.

Hot and cold hell, in the same place.

The whiteout continued, masking her approach to the site. She stopped when the edge of her eye caught movement.

There was a shadow in the white mass.

<Ren> let her instincts, sound and scent guide her, loosing the main arrow. It flew, silent save for the quivering of the drawstring in the cold wind.

The slim shaft penetrated the soft area behind a man's ear. The shadow jerked a second, then slid helplessly to the ground. Silent, small steps in the snow followed as <Ren> checked the body. Tall. Pistol in belt. Mobile phone. A glance at the man's hand. Just out taking a smoke. Probably to avoid the sulfur smell. She was satisfied with her handiwork as the dead man glared back at her accusingly. She pulled the arrow out of the man's skull, wiping off the blood and gore with the snow.

Without another word, <Ren> moved away. She could not trust the white snow and howling wind to last long enough for this mission. A hidden part of her mind excitedly whispered how much easier this was when allowed to kill. Another part felt shame, dreading to think what Ichika would have said or felt about killing. But the mind that was in control only saw these ideas in periphery. Unimportant to the task at hand.

Buildings. No, structures. In the white, there were only the ghostly frames of buildings. Two, maybe three structures that resembled apartments in the cold and grey night. Abandoned housing and offices among the volcanic mountains above the clouds, a commune for a sulfur mine that never got off the ground. The imaginative part of <Ren>'s mind thought of the people here, making their home in a cemetery. The cynical part felt it appropriate for the work she was about to do.

We drove on featureless roads up and down oddly rolling hills for nearly an hour before we finally sighted the battleship-like apartments through the mist. At each crest of a hill we’d stop and pile out of the car, wander off the verge and stare out into the white.

Voices. <Ren> froze but kept the bow steady, unsure of how many were coming her way.

"...swear if he's frozen to death while smoking, I'm going to laugh!" The voice rather than the man cut through the white wind.

"If we find him. It's all goddamn snow. Up, down, left right. Everywhere." A hoarse, angry voice yelled out. A pair of blurred figures moved through the snow. "A whole Self-Defense Force tank batallion could be ten feet in front us and we wouldn't even know they were there."

The hissing of a radio. The voice was more subdued and difficult to hear.

<Ren> held the bowstring tightly, wondering if she had been found. A curse and an afterthought, as she wondered if she should have buried the first body. Haruko would have told me to leave him alone and sneak past.

"I wish they'd hurry up and finish that thing. My fingers are freezing off!"

Finally they emerged from the whiteout, two large figures in thick winter clothing. The lead one had a flashlight and handgun out, the snow folding like mist around them. The second was too far away for <Ren> to see. The first man strode past, unaware.

Then the figure of the second man stopped and turned curiously in her direction.

No hesitation.

The first arrow flew, and a gurgled surprise came from the second man's throat. The second was just as rapid, and an electrical pop sounded at the death of the radio. The third shot was fired just in time to puncture the first man's face as he spun around.

<Ren> did not bother to check the bodies or retrieve her arrows, turning toward the ruined buildings.

Would he hate me? There was no pause in her stride as she pulled another three arrows from her right hand. The thoughts in her head were dispassionate, far removed from what she was actually doing. That idiot would hate me. I'm sure of it.

The building she entered was empty, wind howling through the open and shattered windows. But here, the effect of the snow was at least limited. Walking through the empty corridors <Ren>'s vision improved. She made no noise creeping through the building's rotted-through concrete steps and halls, covered in a thin layer snow. Only a casual glance told her that there had been people here. A door ajar, showing the abandoned bed and shelves within. Communal baths with their yellowed white tiles falling into the pure white of the snow. The acoustics of the ruins made it sound like there were more men, further away than she knew they were.

The scent of sulfur grew stronger. <Ren> took a look up at the sign at the corner.

Gymnasium. The community was meant to stand on its own, while mining sulphur and other materials. Facilities, housing and amenities all on the same grounds. The smell of sulfur was growing stronger, almost beckoning <Ren> forward. It grew both brighter and warmer as she approached, and her pace slowed. There were low, subdued voices as if discussions were ongoing. <Ren> stopped at the corner of a doorway. The voices were more distinct, but the echoes in the building made it harder for her to determine numbers. It was also too risky to peer around the corner or use one of her more polished blades as a mirrror.

She set the bow down and took out her tanto. There were cracks in the rotted wooden door frame, which she slowly and quietly widened using the knife's chisel edge. It did not take long for her to make a peephole.

Eight men. Five arrows. She sighted through the peephole. There were cracks in the ground, which was likely the source of heat. And some mechanical equipment she did not recognize. <Ren> doubted she could hit more than three before the rest would pepper her with gunfire. They were preoccupied with their project, with terms <Ren> could not understand, nor did she care about. I only need to hit the target.

She spun around the corner and took aim. Finish it in one shot.

---CRACK.

The bow exploded in <Ren>'s hands as the gunfire shattered the top camwheel. The bowstring whipped around, nearly striking her eye. She dropped the now-useless weapon and ducked behind the wall, gritting her teeth as her ears were assaulted by the echoes of automatic fire. Just as suddenly, the firing stopped.

"I'm a little disappointed that the government only sent one assassin!" A man's voice boasted from below.

So we have a talker. <Ren>'s left hand pulled out a pair of throwing darts, even as she began regretting the injury in her right arm. If she had full ability for both arms, she would just throw her blades at the enemy. There were enough blades for it, but one arm alone couldn't hurl the weapons fast enough or far enough. At best she could wield her shorter sword, use her right like a shield. But there was no way she could use it offensively.

Quickly, she ran out of the hallway. The gunmen would follow.
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Old 2015-01-26, 05:57   Link #55811
wavehawk
Some say I'm the Reverse
 
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Hopefully finish this thing on or before Thursday. Maybe even post the completed version to FF.net on that day or the week after.
Dear god this fic is killing me.
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Old 2015-01-26, 07:05   Link #55812
Fireminer
Lumine Passio
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Hanoi, Vietnam
Age: 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by wavehawk View Post
Hopefully finish this thing on or before Thursday. Maybe even post the completed version to FF.net on that day or the week after.
Dear god this fic is killing me.
You still haven't started that crossover.

I wonder how easily is it for this world to be swayed by the media - considering what they've done. If overflowing the channels with glorified images of IS is a part of the Plan, then would a single line of critic on IS division, ISA, IS Governmental Bodies,... would paint you a target for the media moguls?
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Old 2015-01-26, 07:44   Link #55813
coco6561
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: New Jersery
Unhappy

Quote:
Originally Posted by blitz1/2 View Post
And HOW many times has this been done? Just go into the fanfiction.net category and just look at how MANY of these have the SAME synopsis, "....and what happens when another male pilot joins...". It's equivalent to beating a dead horse.
Sadly I fall into this category.

How do I do the thing where you guys write part of a story you write. Like what wave hawk did. I have something that I want your opinion on.

Last edited by coco6561; 2015-01-26 at 09:17.
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Old 2015-01-26, 09:53   Link #55814
bitmeister
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: An air vent, staring at you
Luckily, there is an easy method: start throwing ideas around in your head until they stick. Then, if it has the faintest tint of "American from hugely dark and complex past (or no past) is second male IS pilot / ERMAHGURD I WANT TO SELF INSERT" obliterate it from your mind and thought process. It worked for me... eventually.

Also, wavehawk, I can see why you are having trouble writing about a cold setting when it's warm. I have the exact opposite problem, i.e. I'm trying to write about the middle of August at ISA while there's a thick layer of ice on the roads.
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Old 2015-01-26, 10:25   Link #55815
coco6561
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bitmeister View Post
Luckily, there is an easy method: start throwing ideas around in your head until they stick. Then, if it has the faintest tint of "American from hugely dark and complex past (or no past) is second male IS pilot / ERMAHGURD I WANT TO SELF INSERT" obliterate it from your mind and thought process. It worked for me... eventually.

*Slowly walks away to go sulk in corner.*

Also, wavehawk, I can see why you are having trouble writing about a cold setting when it's warm. I have the exact opposite problem, i.e. I'm trying to write about the middle of August at ISA while there's a thick layer of ice on the roads.
I know what you mean. It's hard writing about one setting when the one you're in is the complete opposite.

P.s. I finally finished chapter 8 of my fanfiction and I'm looking for a beta reader if anyone's interested.

Last edited by coco6561; 2015-01-26 at 15:10.
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Old 2015-01-27, 01:23   Link #55816
wavehawk
Some say I'm the Reverse
 
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fireminer View Post
You still haven't started that crossover.
- DON'T. REMIND. ME.

Quote:
Originally Posted by bitmeister
Also, wavehawk, I can see why you are having trouble writing about a cold setting when it's warm. I have the exact opposite problem, i.e. I'm trying to write about the middle of August at ISA while there's a thick layer of ice on the roads.
- It's not THAT hot, but still, 25 degrees doesn't bring out images of snow (the coldest it gets in Victoria is 2 degrees in winter. we have hail but not snow in the city).

The two main reasons I'm writing the finale in a blizzard area is because:
1.) I wanted to draw a difference between IS Academy (summertime, lots of fun, happiness) and Hokkaido (wintertime, life-threatening danger, utter misery)
2.) It's also a nod to Greg Rucka's Graphic Novel Whiteout The comic, not the movie). Strongly recommend you guys pick it up and read it. Not a superhero comic, more detective thriller. And also why my jokes tend to be so sarcastic in actual writing:
http://www.gregrucka.com/wp/wp-conte...iteout-pg3.jpg

Quote:
Originally Posted by StratoSpear View Post
And end up saving the world in one way or another before/while doing so.
- Actually Spear--the Pretender angle might actually work. Instead of someone who just happens to have the ability to pilot IS, you have a character who's a master impostor--someone who can (in a very short span of time) be able to learn and apply skills and talents that he had no knowledge of just prior. He's a different kind of genius, originally groomed to become the ultimate spy...then he does the unexpected: he somehow 'learns' to pilot an IS. Obviously this is earth-shattering, because if the ability to pilot an IS is a -Learnable Skill- as opposed to a -Genetic Requirement-...that means a lot of people will want to pick his brain and figure out how he did it. And since he was initially intended to do black ops work, no government or company will ever admit responsibility for him. And since he's an impostor, he has no real identity: EG legally speaking he's not a 'Person' with human rights under law, so the organization can do whatever they want with him.

Last edited by wavehawk; 2015-01-27 at 02:18.
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Old 2015-01-27, 07:08   Link #55817
bitmeister
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: An air vent, staring at you
Excuse me for a minute. My mind has been blown.
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Old 2015-01-27, 08:26   Link #55818
Lhklan
The Unpronounceable
 
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Clock Tower
Quote:
Originally Posted by StratoSpear View Post
Gents, please, I'm not propagating male IS users to be superior or some shit. All I had in mind was a story whereby there is a male pilot that precedes Ichika but was never made known to the world. In other words, he doesn't get thrown into ISA and starts robbing girls' hearts. His very existence is known within a small development team.

Think about it, the implications of his ability being made known would throw the world into a frenzied manhunt. Unlike Ichika, he doesn't have the luck to be protected by a neutral nation. Of course, circumstances can vary. Said character may not even be involved in anything grand and flashy like our CCs are in, probably something small, out of world and probably ending up with that male pilot either dying or disappearing for good.
Or maybe he just plain hates/don't want to do anything with IS.
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Old 2015-01-27, 12:33   Link #55819
MeisterBabylon
~ Your Smile ~
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Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: 346Pro
Age: 38
This reminds me I've yet to explain how this Mr Hero character I borrowed from Erastas can fly an IS. I simply added him as a side character and a complete anomaly that has the people he encounter baffled.
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Old 2015-01-27, 13:23   Link #55820
coco6561
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Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: New Jersery
Does anyone have any advice for coming up with a title for your story?
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