Why male characters often push away willing girls?

[Lenaisian]

hehehe, well, well... kinda funny to know that somewhat, this thread has gone from a question about the usual plot to romance animes to a question of one's morals (but, I'm not laughing at it, alright).

I haven't understood much about the subject, but I am agreeing with Relentless on this matter...

... gotta say this one to you guys, for the record: after I watched School Days(true as toast... and since you were all saying references to this anime, gotta agree with those who say the result of everything that happened might happen in real life, minus the stabbing of course), my next watch was EF: A Tale of Memories. Clearly a romance-drama anime; and the last 3 episodes made me cry a lot in pain [and, later, joy]. That was the greatest romance-drama anime, if not the best (for me). Next thing is R-15, which is rom-com... kinda liked it, but the ending is somewhat anti-climatic for me (referring to Akutagawa's choice: Narukara or Sonokoe), but not as anti-climatic as Fortune Arterial, which has the most anti-climatic anime ending IMO.

After the 23rd day of the Corona Impeachment Trials, I've already stopped watching it... such douchebags prolonging the case! (sorry for voicing that out)

[judasmartel]

After all, what kind of guy would want to be chased by girls, anyway? /sarcasm

I mean, WE ARE MEN, and men are expected to do the first move, not the women.

[Lenaisian]

Originally Posted by judasmartel

After all, what kind of guy would want to be chased by girls, anyway? /sarcasm

I mean, WE ARE MEN, and men are expected to do the first move, not the women.

AMEN! gotta agree with that... straight, to the point.

[Vexx]

Is this where all the males start singing the "Men" song?

Spoiler for "Men" by Martin & Mull (lyrics may be NSFW):

Umm, Captain Klumpz....
Yes, Malarkey?
The men haven't eaten in days, sir.
Yes Malarkey.
Captain, I don't think you fully understand. I said the men have not eaten in days now.
I heard you, Malarkey, thank you.
Captain, you've gone quite mad. I'm telling you for the last time, the men have not eaten in days!
Well, force them! You've plenty of men, haven't you?
Plenty, sir.
Plenty of what, sir?
Men, sir!
What?!
Men!
What?!
Men! Men! MEN! Men!

Men, Men, Men, Men
Men, Men, Men, Men
Men, Men, Men, Men
Men, Men, Men, Men

It's great to be on a ship with men and sail across the sea-o,
We don't know where we'll land or when, but it's great to be with men
It's great to be with men

'Cause men can sweat and men can stink and no one seems to care-o,
We'll throw the dishes in the sink and clog the drain with hair-o,
(Clog the drain with hair-o)

Men, men, men.
It's a ship all filled with men.
So batten down the ladies room; there's no one here but men
Men, Men, Men, Men
Men, Men, Men, Men

There's men above, there's men below, there's men down in the galley,
There's Butch and Spike And Buzz and Biff
And one guy we call Sally
(And one guy we call Sally)

Men, men, men.
It's a ship all filled with men.
You'll never have to lift the seat; there's no one here but men
Men, Men, Men, Men
Men, Men, Men, Men

We're men and friends until the end and none of us are sissies,
At night we sleep in separate beds and blow each other kissies
(And blow each other kissies)

Men, men, men.
It's a ship all filled with men.
So throw your rubbers overboard; there's no one here but men
Ahhhhhhhhh, Mennnnn.

http://www.madmusic.com/song_details.aspx?SongID=6953

(I first encountered this tune on the first FM rock station in Houston in the late 70s.... it was one of the DJ's intro theme song.)

[Ithekro]

I don't think I've heard that for 15 years. (Dr. Demento played it sometimes).

[NoemiChan]

Originally Posted by judasmartel

After all, what kind of guy would want to be chased by girls, anyway? /sarcasm

I mean, WE ARE MEN, and men are expected to do the first move, not the women.

That would be like.... nice (not sure)...but. as long as the chances are high too...

*Scared of rejection...

[Jellal]

Either they don't have the courage to go through with it or usually because they often think ill will of themselves.

In most cases however, I'd say the moral dillema of whether or not they'd like to "use" them for only that means come into play.

But in all cases however, it's usually prohibited by anime to include such scenes hence it would be considered hentai.
Still, because of this - it kinda dilutes the actual animes portrayal of the protagonist.

This topic has become a big cliche too

[Starshipw]

My problem with the majority of ecchi fanservice manga and anime is that the male characters are so weak. I realize that the target audience may be otakus with little social skills, what in America we describe as living in their parent's basement, but it is unreasonable that as soon as the (college dropout, swimsuit fan, amateur photographer) joins the (onsen, female dormitory, girl's kendo club) that every pretty girl falls in love with him though his only visible skill is an ability to fall with his face in a girl's groin or between her breasts. From the first chapter to the last there is little movement between the characters except adding more girls to the harem.

My favorite Harem guys:

Keito from KissxSis. He is handsome, an accomplished athlete, popular at school for himself as well as for his sisters. No genius, he works hard to pass his entrance exams. His reasons for resisting the advances of the girls - The main two are his twin step-sisters. His classmate is cute, but every time he gets close to her she pees herself. Fourth is his virgin teacher with her own 2D obsession and last is the teacher's middle school sister. Each of the girls has had chapters where they get closer to the MC. The most unbelievable characters are the parents who think it is cute if the twins or the teacher engage in sex play or are caught in compromising situations with Keito.

Nagi from Umi no Misaki manga: Good looking, intelligent, hard working, respectful of the girls. It is not hard to imagine any of them being attracted to him though he is thoroughly inexperienced having gone to a boy's school. On top of that everyone involved is aware of how outrageous the situation they are in is. Three beautiful shrine maidens must vie for the "favor" of the proclaimed Dragon God Nagi. His reasons for resisting the adavances of the girls - The thing is, he doesn't. While he politely turns away if he happens to see them naked and never gropes or falls on top of them, he is willing and eager to do as much as they desire, be it kissing, making out or going to bed. As a matter of fact in the latest chapter he and

Spoiler for Umi no Misaki - Ch 95:

Maiden #1 actually succeed in consummating sex.

He rejects advances more than kissing from any other girls - The Loli teacher, the film idol, the yuri stalker and even the cute-as-a-bug little sister. Even when caught naked wrestling with the stalker, straddling her, Maiden #2 has no hysterics leading to loud breakups, but she immediately understands what has happened and tells the stalker not to interfere with her relationship.

[judasmartel]

Wish fulfillment. And also, it keeps off viewers (read: otakus) from the harsh realities of trying to get laid.

Simply put: If you really want to get laid, then at least try to get out of your basement and talk to pretty much anyone. Results may vary, but at least you keep trying until you find somebody who will do it with you. Although, it's not always in the way you expect.

[MUAHAHAHAHAHA]

I guess it's because in reality, we are still living in an era where guys pursue girls, not the other way round?

[judasmartel]

Ayt. BUT, there are now girls who pursue guys, though. It depends on the person, really.

[MUAHAHAHAHAHA]

Originally Posted by judasmartel

Ayt. BUT, there are now girls who pursue guys, though. It depends on the person, really.

Yup. I would say that might happen in the case of strong-willed or confident girls. In my case, I might pursue a guy (hey, it's my happiness I am talking about here so what is wrong) but not too much to the extent of Kotoko from Itazura na Kiss.

I do think that it is sometimes necessary to pursue guys, because the guy you like could happen to be the shy type, so making the first move is necessary. That said, I don't know how each of you defines "willing". Stalking the guy 24/7? Sending non-stop Valentine chocolates? Love letters under the school desk? Enlighten me.

[MEGADANANIMEFAN]

well in Harem animes he sorta has to push em away until he can decide which girl he likes best. like ichigo 100% sasuki offered herself to him but he kept thinking of the other girls and how theyd feel. so he refused. course she was drunk but still. SOME guys just dont like taking advantage of girls and/or think of others feelings into consideration.

[judasmartel]

Originally Posted by MUAHAHAHAHAHA

Yup. I would say that might happen in the case of strong-willed or confident girls. In my case, I might pursue a guy (hey, it's my happiness I am talking about here so what is wrong) but not too much to the extent of Kotoko from Itazura na Kiss.

I do think that it is sometimes necessary to pursue guys, because the guy you like could happen to be the shy type, so making the first move is necessary. That said, I don't know how each of you defines "willing". Stalking the guy 24/7? Sending non-stop Valentine chocolates? Love letters under the school desk? Enlighten me.

That's kinda extreme.

Well, say, if you're going to pursue me, send me a not-so-obvious signal that says "I really like you" in any way you can, but not to the extremes mentioned above. Just give me a sign that you like me. Remember that some guys, no matter how shy they are, would want to try courting you, too.

Therefore, initiate the chase, but don't lead it.

Spoiler for tactics?:

If you're the straightforward type, make sure to NOT drag me anywhere for no apparent reason at all, that's kidnapping. If you're going to drag me somewhere, make damn sure it would be one of the craziest days of my life.

There's a reason why I like Manic Pixie Dream Girls so much. They make a guy's otherwise boring, monotonous life into a colorful, crazy awesome one.

If you're the stalker type, I have to say this: I love that feeling when somebody slips an incredibly corny love letter in my locker or under my desk when I expected it the least, that feeling when I get a Valentine chocolate without knowing who sent it. It makes me VERY curious, and that's bonus points for you.

HOWEVER, don't hide yourself for too long, as it will kill the guy's interest. Reveal yourself to him at the most opportune moment you can find, and don't let it slip by, for you may never get another chance to tell him your feelings.

[porous_shield]

I think School Days (I've only watched the anime) is pretty realistic even with the stabbing. All those girls were offering him sex and Mokoto was a sleazeball so of course he plundered every pink orifice he could find.

I think the problem with the anime that have guys surrounded by willing women is that they are simply unrealistic and they would not happen in the real world. However, with how annoying and physically absuive many of these women are than it's no suprise that the males don't want any part of it. The other problem is that the males portrayed are often so dense and stupid that they wouldn't know a woman was after them even if the girl was blunt with them. They are simply unrealistic.

Like other people have mentioned the problem with harems or romances of that type is that they anime or manga or whatever is about the relationship(s) and nothing else. The only interest with the characters is with regards to the relationship itself and the story is often just thrown in. It's just a poor premise all around and it's no wonder they almost universely suck.

I think one of the more "realistic" portrayals is Bakamonogatari. The girl he ends up with (again I've only watched Nise and Baka so I don't know anything beyond that) is the girl that was most forward with him. It was my experience, and still is, that the more forward girls are the ones guys end up with because we never know if that meek girl has a crush on us and we would be devastated if we got turned down so we never ask. The more forward girl we have an indication of interest in us so the risk of utter devestation is lessened.

Araragi is dense with Hanekawa and Sengoku but he thinks of Hanekawa as like the perfect woman and doesn't have a chance and he isn't interested in Sengoku and thinks of her as nothing more than his little sisters quiet friend. He views the interactions with Sengoku through the lense of "little sister friend" and doesn't get the come-ons.

[NonExstX]

Originally Posted by judasmartel

Wish fulfillment. And also, it keeps off viewers (read: otakus) from the harsh realities of trying to get laid.

Simply put: If you really want to get laid, then at least try to get out of your basement and talk to pretty much anyone. Results may vary, but at least you keep trying until you find somebody who will do it with you. Although, it's not always in the way you expect.

Very good point.
I really did not get into Anime until my middle or late adulthood.
In my teens and university days I had no problem getting plenty of dates.
And I rarely turned a girl down because I am not attractive, poor, not charming, and maybe of average intelligence. So I felt extremely lucky that any woman had interest.

After my failed marriage, where my wife cheated a lot, I pretty much gave up on women. I was already watching the USA broadcast anime by this time but having plenty of time on my hands delved into the romance/harem/ecchi type shows.

And so as you say it became easier to just to live vicariously through the anime.
Plus all of the girls are usually cute in some way. And as another poster said not many anime show the issues which come after the relationship.

Similar to the Snow White/Cinderella themes aimed at young girls in the western cartoons.

[judasmartel]

Originally Posted by porous_shield

I think the problem with the anime that have guys surrounded by willing women is that they are simply unrealistic and they would not happen in the real world. However, with how annoying and physically absuive many of these women are than it's no suprise that the males don't want any part of it. The other problem is that the males portrayed are often so dense and stupid that they wouldn't know a woman was after them even if the girl was blunt with them. They are simply unrealistic.

That, or what happens in real life is that some seedy-looking guy just can't believe the most beautiful chick in the campus has the hots on him. You would expect the guy to get flustered and all, but as real men we don't giggle like little girls when somebody has the hots on us. But you can't deny, the feeling is like, "Man, I can't believe she likes a good-for-nothing like me."

Another case would be that some guys are Genre Savvy enough to determine whether the girls really like them or they're just playing around (alpha bitches seducing nerds to get the grades, anyone?). After all, true love cannot be rushed. It has to grow out from somewhere.

[MEGADANANIMEFAN]

Originally Posted by porous_shield

i think school days (i've only watched the anime) is pretty realistic even with the stabbing. All those girls were offering him sex and mokoto was a sleazeball so of course he plundered every pink orifice he could find.

I think the problem with the anime that have guys surrounded by willing women is that they are simply unrealistic and they would not happen in the real world. However, with how annoying and physically absuive many of these women are than it's no suprise that the males don't want any part of it. The other problem is that the males portrayed are often so dense and stupid that they wouldn't know a woman was after them even if the girl was blunt with them. They are simply unrealistic.

Like other people have mentioned the problem with harems or romances of that type is that they anime or manga or whatever is about the relationship(s) and nothing else. The only interest with the characters is with regards to the relationship itself and the story is often just thrown in. It's just a poor premise all around and it's no wonder they almost universely suck.

I think one of the more "realistic" portrayals is bakamonogatari. The girl he ends up with (again i've only watched nise and baka so i don't know anything beyond that) is the girl that was most forward with him. It was my experience, and still is, that the more forward girls are the ones guys end up with because we never know if that meek girl has a crush on us and we would be devastated if we got turned down so we never ask. The more forward girl we have an indication of interest in us so the risk of utter devestation is lessened.

Araragi is dense with hanekawa and sengoku but he thinks of hanekawa as like the perfect woman and doesn't have a chance and he isn't interested in sengoku and thinks of her as nothing more than his little sisters quiet friend. He views the interactions with sengoku through the lense of "little sister friend" and doesn't get the come-ons.

ahhh no spoilar alert???!!!

[porous_shield]

That isn't much of a spolier.....