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Old 2013-07-13, 13:25   Link #3901
Loremaster
He who writes too much.
 
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: United Kingdom
Age: 32
Hello everybody.

I'm new to the fanfiction scene and the reason for that I intend to pratice improving my English skills. I suffer from English difficulties and I'm attempting to overcome it with constant pratice. So this is also my first story as well.

So even if one person likes it I would be happy.

It's called A Certain Hidden Level Five - One with Fated Memories.
I admit that in comparison to the other chapters, number 1 is in the worse state. As of the chapter I just posted I intend to go back to it to give it a going over.

Anyway I hope you enjoy.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9474233/...Fated-Memories
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Old 2013-07-13, 16:57   Link #3902
Gray Servant
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Well, the one person who tried to copy IB blew up her right arm, but in this case it seems more like imitating the effects than actually trying to create a new IB, so it should work fine.

Also, it may not necessarily work based off the rumors of the right hand if this was made a long time ago, since according to Ollerus it was this.

“There was a time when powers similar to that showed themselves here and there throughout an era. Some took the form of weapons and made their way into the hands of great heroes, some took the form of frescos and were rumored to heal the diseases of any who touched them, and others took the form of caves and functioned as trials for those who entered them. …I do not know if the power in your hand is simply one more of those powers or if those hopes combined together into another form as they were lost and have naturally appeared here."

Of course, he could have been lying his ass off as Thor implied, so who knows?
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Old 2013-07-13, 19:30   Link #3903
demino_hellsin
That one guy
 
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
There's no disadvantage to the ability or loophole. And it's just a strictly better IB. At least in terms of pure combat.
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Old 2013-07-13, 19:55   Link #3904
Rovert10
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Join Date: Aug 2011
The main disadvantage as Ferret said is mana pools.

It's practically the case of Fiamma where you have super powerful hand but it only works if given the fuel and maintained.

IB is usable 24/7 and would negate this ability outright.
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Old 2013-07-13, 19:58   Link #3905
Exthiel
A Romaticist
 
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: The Deep City
Threefold truth, from how I understand it, is kinda like an even more OP version of Imagine Breaker but without the weakness. It doesn't negate its owners luck, has a wider range depending on the amount you put into it, and it isn't limited to esper or magic abilities since it can effect basically anything.

It's liabilities are also incredibly cheap. Not being active at all times is offset by just trainning and reflex. needing mana to use is incredibly cheap to be able negate anything. Overall, for an IB clone that's only known by less than a handful of people it's kinda OP.
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Old 2013-07-13, 20:00   Link #3906
Rovert10
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Well... it's not like the first time magician's are suddenly OP in this series...
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Old 2013-07-13, 20:05   Link #3907
Exthiel
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Location: The Deep City
Yes but it's basically Imagine Breaker but without the weakness and with 100% more swag.
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Old 2013-07-13, 20:08   Link #3908
Gray Servant
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Fiamma doesn't seem to need to put any energy into his Holy Right. It just responds to the strength of the opponent.

Sure, magician abilities are generally OP, it's just most people are kind of wary when you basically take the main character's ability and just make a better version of it. Doesn't tend to end well in fics. Though I guess it would depend on how much mana this guy actually has. If he's not very gifted in that area, it might work better.
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Old 2013-07-13, 20:21   Link #3909
Rovert10
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No Fiamma needs to fuel the Holy Right's existance. Once it has the fuel then it can respond to the strength of the opponent for an instawin.
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Old 2013-07-13, 20:29   Link #3910
Gray Servant
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The way I recall it at least, Fiamma had a limited number of shots he could use. This wasn't energy exactly, it was just the number of times he could use the Holy Right in his lifetime, which is why he couldn't just go out and win everything, since he'd run out eventually and be powerless. He fixed this once he got Index's knowledge so that he could win as much as he wanted.

(This is why you don't let the guy with near-infinite power get his hands on near-infinite knowledge.)

Last edited by Gray Servant; 2013-07-13 at 20:30. Reason: Minor fixes
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Old 2013-07-13, 20:33   Link #3911
SmokinFerret88
Comrade Ferret
 
 
Join Date: May 2013
Location: The darkest corner with the best view...
Bare in mind, everyone, that I'm still working on it. I know it's more OP than the Imagine Breaker, but this is why I brought it here so people can give it some attention so I can gain some ideas on how I can further limit it.

That's the real reason I posted it in the first place; so whatever suggestions are presented will greatly be appreciated.
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Old 2013-07-13, 21:09   Link #3912
demino_hellsin
That one guy
 
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Does it have to be in the form of a right hand?
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Old 2013-07-13, 21:18   Link #3913
Exthiel
A Romaticist
 
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: The Deep City
Well it's based on Touma's IB so that's a given...
The fact that they even managed to make an improved replica when there are just a handful of people who knew the true nature of IB(and one of them is now dead) needs some serious explaining.
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Old 2013-07-13, 21:22   Link #3914
TkMacintosh
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Join Date: Mar 2010
Speaking of the magic side using a spell to copy a power...I've been thinking of an esper ability I like to call "AIM Absorber".

It's more or less an ability that allows its user to read, understand, and copy the target's ability/AIM. Downside is that he can only use one ability at a time, and completely forgets the previous AIM he absorbed.

Each level for "AIM Absorber" can only use that absorbed AIM on that level...

Meaning that if he uses his ability on say Misaka and he's level 3, he's become an electro user at Level 3.

Another idea is an shapeshifter esper ability. Each level includes the powers of the previous level.

Level 1: Change hair and eye color.
Level 2: Change body type like height, weight, and length of various things.
Level 3: Change voice. (Maybe?)
Level 4: Change gender.
Level 5: Not entirely sure. I can't think of anything good.
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Old 2013-07-13, 21:49   Link #3915
SmokinFerret88
Comrade Ferret
 
 
Join Date: May 2013
Location: The darkest corner with the best view...
Hmm....maybe the spell can take the form of runes like Stiyl uses? At least then, after each rune-card is used it burns away into dust and can't be re-used. Add to it he would only have a certain number of them on his person at all times.

As for the explanation behind how this person came to be aware of Imagine Breaker....well, I haven't gotten that far yet. The guy's still largely considered a work in progress, so that's just another factor that still needs addressing.
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Old 2013-07-14, 03:55   Link #3916
dniv
I’m sorry, Kamijou-san!!
 
 
Join Date: May 2013
Location: California
Yeah I think it's a little too powerful. You probably need more restrictions or should maybe change the ability to void only to be able to temporarily void. Like have temporary existence and temporary void. But that's just me. I'm not that good at ability crafting...

I have an ability idea I was curious about and would deeply appreciate some feedback.

Here it is:

I have a character who has the ability that they always fight at 100% and cannot fight at less than this. This doesn't mean 100% of their full strength when they are healthy. It just means you pretty much do the right things to avoid bad luck and do as well as your body can in the moment. Your willpower is 100% effective. You can get stronger by being more motivated. The level of motivation increases your potential and what your body can do after all. Anything this person tries to use he operates at 100% be it video games, computers, cell phones, cars, or even tennis rackets to play tennis. But this person cannot be un-competitive and therefore suffers misfortune by not being able to go 100% against girls who just want to have fun or because he plays 100% against kids and gets called a bad sport because he's acting like a little kid. He also expands a lot of energy all of the time because he can't turn this ability off. This ability would let you operate a mecha and fight with it at 100% every time as well, even if the robot normally didn't work well so it would only be good for this person.

This isn't an Index ability per-say but it is deeply inspired by Index so this is why I am bringing it up. This ability would be un-negateable because it first of all just represents a special quality of the person using it. And it's user having it represents some special inherent meaning in the world.

Any thoughts?

Also, to clarify. To fight at 100% means to fight in accordance with this characters' ideals at the time of the fight (they are meaningful) so it isn't just arbitrarily winning. Sometimes he will lose because his ideals want him to and he can't do anything about it even if he is instructed to do otherwise. (he can be convinced to change his ideals though... but that's obviously hard).

This is part of an attempt to try to make a character who wins without plot armour (when he does).

And if this character loses, he couldn't have done better, so that's emotionally painful as well.

So what do you guys think? I got this idea somewhat from Touma and some other influences.

Last edited by dniv; 2013-07-14 at 04:35.
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Old 2013-07-14, 05:04   Link #3917
Exthiel
A Romaticist
 
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: The Deep City
^Basically from how I understand it on fight with high stakes AKA "Plot Battles" he's pretty much invincible.

Fights with major enemies and rivals would mean he would be more determined and passionate about winning which would result in more power. The 100% would mean that he's always at he's peak condition to fight(focused, energized, and the like).

Other than that it's a bit hard to understand. He basically gets a massive bonus stats on everything as long as it matters, as well as being an instant expert to a degree. Too early too comment much but it would be a lot more better if we have more insight on the ability.

Last edited by Exthiel; 2013-07-14 at 05:14.
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Old 2013-07-14, 05:42   Link #3918
demino_hellsin
That one guy
 
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
The 100% thing is actually just plot armor

I keep getting weird ideas of ferret's false imagine breaker.

Basically, what if you just made the voiding effect happen when the guy does a certain hand motion? or specific action? My take on it would be to "push"
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Old 2013-07-14, 06:29   Link #3919
dniv
I’m sorry, Kamijou-san!!
 
 
Join Date: May 2013
Location: California
Quote:
Originally Posted by Exthiel View Post
^Basically from how I understand it on fight with high stakes AKA "Plot Battles" he's pretty much invincible.

Fights with major enemies and rivals would mean he would be more determined and passionate about winning which would result in more power. The 100% would mean that he's always at he's peak condition to fight(focused, energized, and the like).

Other than that it's a bit hard to understand. He basically gets a massive bonus stats on everything as long as it matters, as well as being an instant expert to a degree. Too early too comment much but it would be a lot more better if we have more insight on the ability.
Quote:
Originally Posted by demino_hellsin View Post
The 100% thing is actually just plot armor

I keep getting weird ideas of ferret's false imagine breaker.

Basically, what if you just made the voiding effect happen when the guy does a certain hand motion? or specific action? My take on it would be to "push"
Sorry let me explain. And @demino-yes. But it is official plot armor

What I mean is that basically my character will not be unlucky. He will always fight his best. If he is injured, he is weaker. But he can still focus because of his ability to move his body. The more tired he gets, he can still think sharply. He is physically weakened though. He basically uses a robot in which he feels everything that happens to the robot and the robot moves using the energy it would take for him to envision himself moving which makes it more reasonable as well. It uses up a massive amount of energy all of the time. Explaining more clearly: he always fights at 100%. 100% is dependent on how injured he is though. By 100% I mean that he'll do the best he can given his physical condition and injuries and fatigue. He won't be distracted or not performing at 100%. Basically, he is clutch. He has to train to get stronger. Because if he is weak, the only way he can win is to get stronger. The basic idea is that his guts make him try hard and fight, his guts make him more determined to fight, but he can't exceed his body's limits in contrast to Touma. He may lose a lot. Does that sound like a better explanation
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Old 2013-07-14, 06:37   Link #3920
demino_hellsin
That one guy
 
 
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Basically he can move according to how his mind moves him regardless of experience or physical limits. Extremes of either being the exceptions. His idealized actions in his mind are performed by what the body is capable of beyond the improbable but not impossible.

Did I get that right?

The whole motivation and ideal is just too convoluted.
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