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Old 2013-12-21, 20:15   Link #49401
Fireminer
Lumine Passio
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Hanoi, Vietnam
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Ok, no Wing Blade. But Unlimited Blade Work?

... Nah, Chifuyu herself is way cooler than that. All we need to do is dyed her hair white and...

Chifuyu: And What?

... Wr... Wrinkles (Run)

I must say, Chifuyu could be quite a badass grandmother.
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Old 2013-12-21, 20:52   Link #49402
agetreme
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wavehawk View Post
Series ended.

Angry Wavehawk is Angry. More than normal so.

Must write fic. Not good idea. RAGE pressure high.
Wow... the last episode must be really bad.... -_-

<----haven't watch it yet.
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Old 2013-12-21, 20:54   Link #49403
MeisterBabylon
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wavehawk View Post
Series ended.

Angry Wavehawk is Angry. More than normal so.

Must write fic. Not good idea. RAGE pressure high.
I haven't even watched it, just read reviews here and there. And already, fuyukai desu.

At least I'm now certain in the direction I'm taking.
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Old 2013-12-21, 21:51   Link #49404
ZeroXSEED
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Location: Inside your head
Chapter progress 60%

Man i hate being slow.
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Old 2013-12-21, 22:16   Link #49405
Fireminer
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Meh, it could be worse. I almost never write more than 1500 words a week.
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Old 2013-12-21, 23:21   Link #49406
Rokumonsen
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Osaka Castle
Nah, I'm the worst. I can only write less than 500 words a month. And that's just a rough draft.
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Old 2013-12-21, 23:51   Link #49407
Tempest35
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Bah, just type! You won't increase your current quota if you don't type~! Even if I ignore it, type!
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Old 2013-12-22, 00:29   Link #49408
agetreme
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Join Date: Sep 2009
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Unhappy

Quote:
Originally Posted by Zero-2 View Post
Nah, I'm the worst. I can only write less than 500 words a month. And that's just a rough draft.
Dude, same here except that I got more words..... but had being reusing those 1000 words for past three months straight.

Edit: My lack of vocabulary, words-acrobatic skill is showing.

Wished that my brain is a little more developed when I took literature class for the first and the last time.

More Edit: Even if that did not help improve my skill, at the very least I would know why people claim Shakespeare is one of the greatest writer when I can't make a head or tail out of Romeo and Juliet.
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Old 2013-12-22, 00:55   Link #49409
Rokumonsen
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Join Date: Oct 2013
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@age: I suggest you should get a Thesaurus. It would help you a lot.

...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tempest35 View Post
Bah, just type! You won't increase your current quota if you don't type~! Even if I ignore it, type!
Yes! My lord!

*sounds the battle horn*

MINIONS! ASSEMBLE!
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Old 2013-12-22, 01:37   Link #49410
wavehawk
Some say I'm the Reverse
 
 
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You can type 2000 words an hour and it's all meaningless if you don't actually have a story to tell. Forget about word count at the moment and just cook up the story. Add bits and [ieces to it as you do. Sometimes you'll have an idea that doesn't work out but is too good to throw away. You can come back to that later in another story.

Get an outline of what you want but then toy with it. whatever works. Don't try to fill space with words that don't really do anything for you, the story, or the reader. Use descriptives, brign the reader into the story with it, but don't overdo it.

EMERGENCY TEMPORAL SHIFT
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Old 2013-12-22, 02:27   Link #49411
agetreme
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wavehawk View Post
You can type 2000 words an hour and it's all meaningless if you don't actually have a story to tell. Forget about word count at the moment and just cook up the story. Add bits and [ieces to it as you do. Sometimes you'll have an idea that doesn't work out but is too good to throw away. You can come back to that later in another story.

Get an outline of what you want but then toy with it. whatever works. Don't try to fill space with words that don't really do anything for you, the story, or the reader. Use descriptives, brign the reader into the story with it, but don't overdo it.

EMERGENCY TEMPORAL SHIFT
Wavehawk is right.

Thesaurus doesn't help if you don't known how to use the word in such a way that it helped you with the story(hence Words-acrobat).

Believe it or not, written language actually have tone of voice..

Which, unfortunately, I found myself mostly "tone-deaf" when I am writing a story.

The solution to rectify this problem is obviously by having more writing experience.

=

Loading tube 1 and 2 with Neutron torpedo
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Old 2013-12-22, 02:44   Link #49412
wavehawk
Some say I'm the Reverse
 
 
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Like right now. I've just written a few hundred words for my fic and stopped because NONE OF IT FITS in IS. It fits more in a Doctor Who episode---it's good and I like it, but it does NOT belong in IS (so there goes another idea down the drain).

It'll turn up elsewhere someday, be sure of that. But not in my Is fics. Or even my Muv-Luv fics. It might turn up in a Tokimeki memorial fic if I can figure out how to get it to somehow and somewhat work (possibly by kidnapping Russel T Davies)
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Old 2013-12-22, 03:24   Link #49413
agetreme
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wavehawk View Post
Like right now. I've just written a few hundred words for my fic and stopped because NONE OF IT FITS in IS. It fits more in a Doctor Who episode---it's good and I like it, but it does NOT belong in IS (so there goes another idea down the drain).

It'll turn up elsewhere someday, be sure of that. But not in my Is fics. Or even my Muv-Luv fics. It might turn up in a Tokimeki memorial fic if I can figure out how to get it to somehow and somewhat work (possibly by kidnapping Russel T Davies)
May be you could try reading others' fanfic, look out for common trope and see how you can play around with them?

Yea I know it should be painful (with all the Mary Sue and what not) what once you know what others are used to reading, you can give them something new.
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Old 2013-12-22, 03:31   Link #49414
Fireminer
Lumine Passio
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Hanoi, Vietnam
Age: 17
Done it! Finally update my brother's Code Geass fic! - Don't ask why he wasn't the one to do it. Now nothing stand between me and my OWN writing!

Saying about writing, I wonder why I never could writing in a normal way, but instead of it, my works are filled with a Stage Plays-Tone.
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Old 2013-12-22, 06:35   Link #49415
agetreme
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Except for Writer block and your brother suddenly show up with another Story?

=

I have been trying to create new interesting Epithet to describe the Loser and Slacker.

Just in case anybody forget:

Losers/Legacy
Losers are males who devote their sex drive into progression of science. They wanted to left behind their achievement as a big "F-U" to others who leave their gene.

The term came from the certain nation "A" President who called them the "Evolutionary Loser".

Loser is more or less an American exclusive term while Legacy is more commonly used by Europe nation but they both means the same thing.

=
Slackers
Exactly what is on the tin. Slackers are men who are extremely unmotivated to do anything, other than things which interest them. Unfortunately that include dating and marriage (because "they are a bunch of lazy bum who find it too much of a hassle". Not that it matter since their salary are not going to attract any female anytime soon.)

Notice that the phrase is in quotation, unlike Loser, Slackers don't really mind having a girlfriend or marriage, they just find it not worth their time, effort or/and money.

Slackers are very passionate about things which they find worth their time and effort but lack motivation to do everything else. Slacker has a policy of "it is not my problem until it will be/is my problem".

Slackers are usually the ones with 2d girlfriends.

According to them, 2d girlfriends gave as much love and support as real women (to illustrate how grave the male-as-second-class-citizen situation has actually become over the ten years) So why bother dating real woman when 2d girls provide the same thing but request less?

=

Common trait:

Most Loser and Slackers hate other males, either out of jealously or just due to past history of being bullied(by male and female) for not being man enough.

Both group hate each other due to having different approach to their failing in life.

Legacy hate Slacker for not working hard to improve humanity while Slacker hate Losers because they(loser) don't hesitate to bash/insult/taking pot-shot at/shame them whenever possible and also for working hard but the latter part is mostly an excuse to keep up their slacker image.

======

Here is the Epithet I come up with for both. Note: These are joke on males' expense anyway so it's okay?

How it work in story:
E.g.:
???: I am a Loser (those who leave the greatest wealthy) if my achievement means nothing for the society, then it is worthless to me.

Nemo: But I am a Slacker (Unchained) not a Loser (Dumb virgin).

???: Then show the world the combined power of Loser (those who choose to be legends) and Slacker (Lazy bum).

Usually people in the story can tell if they are using the term positively or negatively. (think of the Epithet as tone when they used the words)

Positive:
Legacy:
(Those who leave the great wealth), (Those who chose to be Legends), (they who make into history), (Flipper of Societal norm)

Slacker
(Unchained (by Society)), (those who choose their own path), (They who decide their own fate)

Quote:
Narrator: From evolutionary and species point of view, I believe that there is a great problem in society if grown-men are proud of their lack of motivation in finding a mate.
Degrading:
Common:
Two-dimensional fetish perverts (most loser are not like that but not like people can tell the differences), Failure of life, Evolutionary losers, basement dwellers, Stupid nerds.

Loser
(Stupid Virgin), (Whiny Brats), (Sexless numb-skull), (Those who can't find a girl), (Whose who prefer Consolation Prize), (second prize).

Slacker
(Unmotivated), (Fail), (Couch Potatoes), (Pervert), (lazy bum)

======
Edit:

How to tell which convention you are in (since they both held on the same day):

Loser-con (Motto: Where great mind gathers):
Well dressed men talking about complex stuff which can cause brain explode for normal people. No female are there because they don't wanted to be associated with them. Bring a reference book on quantum physics, you might have to use it. Events consist of exhibition and presentation on latest breakthrough in scientific research.

Slacker-con (Motto: Bring a pillow):
A small group of casually dressed guys who don't even comb their hair (or bath in extreme cases). You can either play computer/video/board game or just sleep through the day. It is a small event because most Slacker are basement dwellers prefer to "attend" the convention at home anyway.
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Last edited by agetreme; 2013-12-22 at 06:48.
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Old 2013-12-22, 06:39   Link #49416
Fireminer
Lumine Passio
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Hanoi, Vietnam
Age: 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by agetreme View Post
Except for Writer block and your brother suddenly show up with another Story?

=

I have been trying to create new interesting Epithet to describe the Loser and Slacker.

Just in case anybody forget:

Losers/Legacy
Losers are males who devote their sex drive into progression of science. They wanted to left behind their achievement as a big "F-U" to others who leave their gene.

The term came from the certain nation "A" President who called them the "Evolutionary Loser".

Loser is more or less an American exclusive term while Legacy is more commonly used by Europe nation but they both means the same thing.

=
Slackers
Exactly what is on the tin. Slackers are men who are extremely unmotivated to do anything, other than things which interest them. Unfortunately that include dating and marriage (because "they are a bunch of lazy bum who find it too much of a hassle". Not that it matter since their salary are not going to attract any female anytime soon.)

Notice that the phrase is in quotation, unlike Loser, Slackers don't really mind having a girlfriend or marriage, they just find it not worth their time, effort or/and money.

Slackers are very passionate about things which they find worth their time and effort but lack motivation to do everything else. Slacker has a policy of "it is not my problem until it will be/is my problem".

Slackers are usually the ones with 2d girlfriends.

According to them, 2d girlfriends gave as much love and support as real women (to illustrate how grave the male-as-second-class-citizen situation has actually become over the ten years) So why bother dating real woman when 2d girls provide the same thing but request less?

=

Common trait:

Most Loser and Slackers hate other males, either out of jealously or just due to past history of being bullied(by male and female) for not being man enough.

Both group hate each other due to having different approach to their failing in life.

Legacy hate Slacker for not working hard to improve humanity while Slacker hate Losers because they(loser) don't hesitate to bash/insult/taking pot-shot at/shame them whenever possible and also for working hard but the latter part is mostly an excuse to keep up their slacker image.

======

Here is the Epithet I come up with for both. Note: These are joke on males' expense anyway so it's okay?

How it work in story:
E.g.:
???: I am a Loser (those who leave the greatest wealthy) if my achievement means nothing for the society, then it is worthless to me.

Nemo: But I am a Slacker (Unchained) not a Loser (Dumb virgin).

???: Then show the world the combined power of Loser (those who choose to be legends) and Slacker (Lazy bum).

Usually people in the story can tell if they are using the term positively or negatively. (think of the Epithet as tone when they used the words)

Positive:
Legacy:
(Those who leave the great wealth), (Those who chose to be Legends), (they who make into history), (Flipper of Societal norm)

Slacker
(Unchained (by Society)), (those who choose their own path), (They who decide their own fate)



Degrading:
Common:
Two-dimensional fetish perverts (most loser are not like that but not like people can tell the differences), Failure of life, Evolutionary losers, basement dwellers, Stupid nerds.

Loser
(Stupid Virgin), (Whiny Brats), (Sexless numb-skull), (Those who can't find a girl), (Whose who prefer Consolation Prize), (second prize).

Slacker
(Unmotivated), (Fail), (Couch Potatoes), (Pervert), (lazy bum)
Not bad. But what about Saint or Monk?
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Old 2013-12-22, 06:44   Link #49417
ZeroXSEED
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Join Date: Apr 2010
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Reading age's post made me depressed for no clear reason
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Old 2013-12-22, 06:54   Link #49418
agetreme
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Delusion world
Quote:
Not bad. But what about Saint or Monk?
Not bad?
Legacy (Saint/Sage of Wisdom)

Slacker (Hermit/Monk)

Quote:
Originally Posted by ZeroXSEED View Post
Reading age's post made me depressed for no clear reason
Dude, if you are male, it ought to because those groups are actually based on real life group of people.

*cougH*MGTOW*cough*HerviboreMen*cough*

Also the sad state of males which Ichika did not show the reader.

Edit:

What keeping Nemo from being true Slacker is due to his Gamer Spirit/TAMASHI. Possibility a trait which he share with a rival except that he doesn't give it a term. He describe the desire as a flame while his rival (Wapanese/Japanophile) just out-right call it out.
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Last edited by agetreme; 2013-12-22 at 07:07.
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Old 2013-12-22, 07:40   Link #49419
Fireminer
Lumine Passio
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Hanoi, Vietnam
Age: 17
Quote:
“Where am I?”
The first thing greeting Ichika Orimura when he woke up are the wooden planks upon his head. The unmistakable smell of salty water creeped into his nose, and nothing beside continuous harsh waves and sound of someone walking over his head filled his eardrums. Surround him is dozens of people, whom are all sleeping soundly on the uncovered wooden floor. A sole jacket covered the was-sleeping 7 years-old boy.

“Right, the ship... But where is Chifuyu-nee?”

Ichika groogingly making his way to the upper deck, trying not to disturb the sleeping people around him. They all look exhausted and ragged, with their clothes full stitches and their body covered with dirt, water and what seems to be dry blood. Even deeply in the Realm of Hypnos, pain still not left them, as some people mumbling and even screaming once in a while. This scene could be best describe as an example of Human Despair and Misery.
...
“Chifuyu-nee... Where are you?”

“I’m here! Ichika, why don’t you just stay down there and sleep?"

“I’ve had enough of sleep... Chifuyu-nee, have the bad guys leave us alone?”

Standing before the boy now is the figure of his sister, Chifuyu Orimura. A teenage girl in her 15 or 16, she only wore a ragged shirt, not enough to shield her from the cold wind. Chifuyu’s black hair as well as her body was soaked with sea water, evidence by a thin layer of white salt. Her sharp eagles eyes looking closely and motherly at the little boy in front of her. Chifuyu then advert her gaze to the white milky surrounding, trying to making sense of what is behind these unpierceable mist to no avail.

After all, the Sea of Mist is notorious for the thick layer of mist that obstacing all view of what is behind it. This strange, all-year phenomenon was caused by a never-expected abnormal: Boiling Lava running under the seabed full of magma rock. It’s said that this site is the Holy Ground where the Goddess of the Sun, Amaterasu once rested here after the Earth-shaking battle with her brother, Yamata no Orochi, the Eight-Forked Serpent. Even now, when the Sun is never to be seen again, the Nippon people still believe that Amaterasu is still sleeping here, that one day she will return with her glorious light which will wipe out these Dark Creatures from this world. That is the past, but for now, it look like the Goddess won’t and can’t help these ships which dare to enter her domain. Pieces of wreaking boats still appears on the nearby seashore from time to time.

But that is what make this place perfect for these runaway people. They once lived in the village of Kamiki, exactly where the battle between Amaterasu and Orochi happened. A Temple is, or was, placed there and the village is considered a Holy Place for the people of Nippon. After the downfall of Chrysanthemum Throne, the Vampires ordered their Monsters to burn and kill the whole village. A lot of the villagers fought valiantly, but their enemy is like a Swarm of Locust, one dies, another born. And so, Chifuyu, the late Village Chief's daughter made an unthinkable decision: To abandon their home. Now, the winds had carried them to this place in a run for their life, the last place that they think could housed their future.

“I think so... But we must be careful. There is always a chance of something even more dangerous than these Monsters.”

“Chifuyu-nee... Will we meet Otou-san and Oka-san?...”

For the first time, sorrow animated on the mature girl’s face, as she sighed a long one, and pulled her brother in a tight embrace. Trying to shield her brother from the pain of losing their parents, yes; but also to reinforced her courage with Ichika. Her eyes slowly became red, but she still struggle to hide her tears.

“... Yes, Ichika, Otou-san and Oka-san are waiting for us....” She then gripped her brother’s shoulders, forced herself to smile.“In the mean time, do you promise to act nice? If not, I might tell Otou-san to punish you!”

“No! I promise to be nice! Please don’t talk bad about me in front of Otou-san!”

“Ha! Of course I won’t, if you obey your Onee-same. All right?” Ichika nodđe. “Good. Hey, Ichika, do you feel hungry?”

No need for an answer, Chifuyu took an apple from her pocket (the last one that she picked from their old home’s tree) and began peeled it with her knife.

“Say “Ahh”!”

“Ahhh”

Even on this old, trembling, full of people and miseries boat; Love still exist. As Chifuyu feeding her little dear brother, she feel that Hope once again returned to her. The Wind became warmer, and her smile less strained.. Cruelly, Fate hadn’t plan for her to enjoy this precious moment...

“PANG! PANG! KA-BOOM!!!”

“AH! Chifuyu-nee!”

“Ichika, go back inside and tell everyone not to panic!” Chifuyu ordered, her face sterned. In front of her, the mist uncovered a ship which has dark sail and the unmistakable flag of the Dark Trible: A crimson flag, soaked with blood... The Monster has caught up with them.

“It’s now or never.” Chifuyu muttered as she draw out her Katana, ready for another shot from these cannons, and after that, the landing on this boat by the Ghouls...
Age, could I ask you to be this story's proofreader once again?
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Old 2013-12-22, 08:31   Link #49420
agetreme
Just another Idiot
 
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Delusion world
Some questions:

I take it that Ichika is wearing the jacket and also....

About Chifuyu's Closely and motherly eyes? I don't quite get what you are trying to say here:

Is she being stern yet motherly or her normally stern eyes look soft?
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