AnimeSuki Forums

ZeroXSEED · 2012-02-23, 10:58

Power that would stop a war.

But I suppose it's way to idealistic.

So, a power that scares the hell out of everyone, to the point that they stop fighting. Alternatively, power that clears everyone's mind from needless confrontation.

demino_hellsin · 2012-02-23, 11:03

I wonder why Japan always answers with "the sword"

ZeroXSEED · 2012-02-23, 11:10

Because as Ichika said "Sometimes violence is necessary to protect".

demino_hellsin · 2012-02-23, 11:17

Trying to form an image of a "power to protect" as a basis for second one off ability for Byakushiki. Am now currently not making any progress -_-"

ZeroXSEED · 2012-02-23, 11:21

Hahaha, it's really hard to do eh.

Spoiler for Stupid, corny flashback:

Please read and correct it, choice of words, pacing... hell, anything.

.

demino_hellsin · 2012-02-23, 11:30

Good stuff! Some tense problems and some changes in wording but everything was awesome

However! for some reason... the pacing does feel a bit monotone... though that might just be me?

EDIT: The way it's being told gives me a sense of detached surreal feeling @_@ As if he's recounting something far away. Well there are many ways to read it. Really might just be me.

ZeroXSEED · 2012-02-23, 11:34

The pacing *facepalm*

At least I got the concept right (I wrote that in the middle of writing a thesis lol) thanks for your help.

That's a spoiler for the prequel movie of the Sacred Twins, telling the different tale about Chifuyu's... ahem, special person.

Anyway, more paper is waiting, see you tom

Eratas123 · 2012-02-23, 16:16

@ Senpai - Can you answer my questions from before?

ZeroXSEED · 2012-02-23, 18:52

Anesthesia is not my field, so I can't be sure. But rarely multiple shot is used because they're, well, narcotics, which caused all sort of side effect BEFORE overdose is even counted. Hypersensitivity also can be lethal in a single shot (pun intended) and that's the reason of heavy dosage control. That's why they're only used in emergency situation when anything else is unavailable or not strong enuff.

Eratas123 · 2012-02-23, 19:01

@ Senpai - Do kid's have a lower tolerance to drugs than adults?

Side note - Found a manga called Ranobe no Hen. Seems like another Izuru work

ZeroXSEED · 2012-02-23, 19:07

Yes, they do.

@ Note - hahaha, I already read that long ago, the main character looks like Ichika.

Eratas123 · 2012-02-23, 19:10

@ Senpai - Plan to give some odd traits because he's a clone. ANy ideas?

Side note - You can tell because the first girl has Charlotte's face

ZeroXSEED · 2012-02-23, 19:15

Well, I dunno. Rapid deterioration aside, which is pretty much standard sci-fi sign of a clone.

Note - The way I imagine Orimura-papa is exactly like the older brother, while Josh is Manga!Ichika.

Eratas123 · 2012-02-23, 19:21

I meant actual good traits. He was meant to be a weapon, so he doesn't have a load of weaknesses like Irish does. So far All I have is rapid healing.

Side note - If only Ichika was that hilarious in IS.

ZeroXSEED · 2012-02-23, 19:28

Maybe he's also a supersoldier? has supper senses?

You can blame the stigma about harem hero = bland character, it's a very old concept and damned by most audience, but is far from extinction, as proven by this original manga, he can create a good protagonist if he wanted (or if he CAN).

Eratas123 · 2012-02-23, 19:30

So kind of like Laura? His only weakness is he can't use the IS.

A lot of harem protagonists have something they're good at, Ichika just fails at his. The others got it because they either work or suffer to get them, Ichika got his and doesn't even know what it is or seemingly care.

ZeroXSEED · 2012-02-23, 19:37

Yes.

So , the way to fix him is at the least have him care about his development and putting effort in improving himself more?

Eratas123 · 2012-02-23, 19:45

Yeah. Kinji and others harem protags do, and no one gives him flak.

ZeroXSEED · 2012-02-23, 19:57

One more point for me to remember

Eratas123 · 2012-02-23, 19:59

What do you mean?

2012-02-23, 10:58	Link #23561
ZeroXSEED I am no one Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Inside your head	Power that would stop a war. But I suppose it's way to idealistic. So, a power that scares the hell out of everyone, to the point that they stop fighting. Alternatively, power that clears everyone's mind from needless confrontation. __________________

2012-02-23, 11:10	Link #23563
ZeroXSEED I am no one Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Inside your head	Because as Ichika said "Sometimes violence is necessary to protect". __________________

2012-02-23, 11:21	Link #23565
ZeroXSEED I am no one Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Inside your head	Hahaha, it's really hard to do eh. Spoiler for Stupid, corny flashback: We youngster are way too carefree, thinking that we can self-fulfill our childhood dream without dire consequences. I knew about that exactly, as the result of our fantasy, a lot of stuff turns dream into nightmare, such as the transport plane I followed as of now, I followed that with my heart beating fast. Is it foolish trying to fix it by ourselves instead of leaving it to the adults? I don't know, I don't know what should I do anymore, I should stop that transport. At all cost. As I lay on the coffin-shaped cockpit of the "Ghost" as my mother watched me tearfully, I replied with a smile, and say that we cannot do anything if we lose that transport. “Stay alive, Yoshi” “Yes, Mom” It'll be hell to pay. X-9 Ghost was a small, fully streamlined airplane. It was about the size of F-5 Tiger, with wings capable of variable sweep. It wasn't supposed to be armed, but instead, it's packing an improved version of GAU-17 12.7mm Gatling Cannon under the nose, as well as four sidewinders within the internal bay inside the fuselage, and two more under the wing root. And now, I'm going to use it. Ghost was ejected backward, my body is shaken a little compared to what actually happened. Its experimental PIC, [Passive Inertia Canceller], helped reducing the stress received by both the airframe and the pilot by 50 percent, making Ghost able to maneuver at 14 G rather easily while the pilot only felt 7 g. As the engine whined in the response of my command, I felt another jolt of acceleration. Equipped with a pair of 55 kN turbofan, I was capable of 2 g acceleration rather easily, all because the lightweight construction of the unit. Improved material used for construction of the light mainframe allows this plane to maneuver at 24 g, slightly more agile than most modern missile, and twice that of most fighter aircraft in this era, only limited by the human inside it. And for that matter, I might be a talented 14-year old prodigy, but my High-G training is not as extensive as military pilots. It's all about a gamble whether I can win by using big stick alone. As soon as I came into visual radius, four objects are approaching fast from all sides. Drones, combat drones. All of them are smaller than what I ride, and visual tracking identified them carrying six missiles each. “You gotta be kidding!” The first salvo came, which I managed to evade somehow by turning off the engine and doing a feint move, along with releasing flares, a lot of flares. I survived the first onslaught with minimal damage, thankfully. I felt like my digestive organs being churned, in the verge of vomiting. My eyes are blurry soon after I recovered form that 18 g maneuver, but still regain a decent control afterwards. Gatling gun roared and the first done is down, then I took another with a pair of missile. Four more drones ambushed, this time I already learn that they had specific attack pattern, it helped me that apparently they’re just like normal aircraft; maneuver is limited up to 12 g. I’m one lucky bastard…. “[Yoshi!]” “Mom?!“ “[The drones! They’re not after you!]” The few dozen seconds after that felt like forever, as I saw four of the drones blasting toward the plane my mom and dad ride, launching their missile. The CIWS system mounted in them ensures safety, but it wasn’t stopped there, in a maneuver similar to dive bombing, they’re aiming for kamikaze attack. They’re using the missiles as decoy “DAAAAD!” I can’t let it, I already lose my real mom and dad, those adults, and my foster parents… are the only adults truly care about my well being, the one that I can rely on… Time stopped as the third drone managed to get past the bullet screening and strike the right wing. I watched thin horror as 70 ton experimental transport plane putting effort in stabilizing itself, but it was useless, and the fourth drone hammered the cockpit directly, making emergency ejection impossible… By then… I lost my mind for a second or so. But then… “[Yo…shi, did you hear me]”’ ”Dad… you’re okay right? RIGHT?!” “[Now, listen to me, boy… this is just the beginning of the new era… accomplish your mission and survive…]” “MOM!” “[YOU HAVE TO SURVIVE!]” The communication went silent as the plane crashed; meanwhile, the radar is bleeping again, showing about twenty drones, or maybe thirty, I don’t know… I don’t care anymore. My target is clear, XS-701 stealth transport, 100 m wide, at the least 200 ton displacement. Altitude is 27.000 meter, current airspeed is Mach 1.9 There should be a way to destroy it in a single shot… …Actually, there’s one… Despite the performance, Ghost only carries 200 kg of fuel, quite a little. There’s a reason for that, the turbofan are operated using direct air cycle with miniature fusion light bulb. A technology recently perfected, but has certain size requirement. Ghost reactor is one tenth of minimum size of operational Fusion reactor recently used on an aircraft carrier. Almost everyone can make it, but not THIS small for sure. Since the air is directly heated by the reactor, the extra fuel is used similar to the concept of afterburner, to add extra mass and double the thrust. I’ll gamble with that… The first salvo is so thick that I saw them as inescapable web… which I managed to evade. My vision turned into a single spot for a moment, like a light inside a tunnel. I kept twisting and twirling the control as if it’s a perfectly safe video game, dancing around the explosion drawing slapdash shroud of metal in the sky. My ears is ringing, I don’t know which one is up and which one is down, but for sure I still saw the large transport. I turned my plane 180 degrees on purpose to get a proper distance, keeping the speed as of now, then accelerate again, the looping maneuver added so much g-force that I wonder I can stay alive. Waves after waves of missile still haunting me, showering the sky with burning metal pieces. Finally, I managed to reach hypersonic speed, a speed previously unattainable by manned vehicle, I laughed in glory as I pushed the ejection button, separating the cockpit from its body. A sudden feel of deceleration striking into me, the body has been set for a certain trajectory. The detached body strokes through the transport’s fuselage and spill a lot of impulsive plasma. Certainly not comparable to a fusion bomb but destructive enough to finish my job… I have accomplished my mission… Behind me, the drones are losing control and flying erratically as their flagship destroyed in a blaze, and crashed onto the sand near Salt Lake, USA…. My cockpit still went into the same trajectory, and apparently entered mach 2 region… and slower… and slower… Parachute deployed, air cushion pumped, I landed at the least 50 miles from the crash site. I don’t know the detail, my vision are hazy… I survived… I managed to accomplish the mission… I keep laughing like a madman as I ran, from nothing, with no specific destination, I just ran… blood flowing from the corner of my mouth... Until my legs gave up, in front of me is a small town… And then, I closed my eyes, seeking for a peaceful rest… What are you doing now, Chifuyu? Please read and correct it, choice of words, pacing... hell, anything. . __________________

2012-02-23, 11:34	Link #23567
ZeroXSEED I am no one Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Inside your head	The pacing facepalm At least I got the concept right (I wrote that in the middle of writing a thesis lol) thanks for your help. That's a spoiler for the prequel movie of the Sacred Twins, telling the different tale about Chifuyu's... ahem, special person. Anyway, more paper is waiting, see you tom __________________

2012-02-23, 16:16	Link #23568
Eratas123 Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2011	@ Senpai - Can you answer my questions from before? __________________

2012-02-23, 11:03	Link #23562
demino_hellsin That one guy Join Date: Nov 2011	I wonder why Japan always answers with "the sword"

2012-02-23, 11:17	Link #23564
demino_hellsin That one guy Join Date: Nov 2011	Trying to form an image of a "power to protect" as a basis for second one off ability for Byakushiki. Am now currently not making any progress -_-"

2012-02-23, 11:30	Link #23566
demino_hellsin That one guy Join Date: Nov 2011	Good stuff! Some tense problems and some changes in wording but everything was awesome However! for some reason... the pacing does feel a bit monotone... though that might just be me? EDIT: The way it's being told gives me a sense of detached surreal feeling @_@ As if he's recounting something far away. Well there are many ways to read it. Really might just be me.

2012-02-23, 18:52	Link #23569
ZeroXSEED I am no one Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Inside your head	Anesthesia is not my field, so I can't be sure. But rarely multiple shot is used because they're, well, narcotics, which caused all sort of side effect BEFORE overdose is even counted. Hypersensitivity also can be lethal in a single shot (pun intended) and that's the reason of heavy dosage control. That's why they're only used in emergency situation when anything else is unavailable or not strong enuff. __________________

2012-02-23, 19:01	Link #23570
Eratas123 Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2011	@ Senpai - Do kid's have a lower tolerance to drugs than adults? Side note - Found a manga called Ranobe no Hen. Seems like another Izuru work __________________

2012-02-23, 19:07	Link #23571
ZeroXSEED I am no one Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Inside your head	Yes, they do. @ Note - hahaha, I already read that long ago, the main character looks like Ichika. __________________

2012-02-23, 19:10	Link #23572
Eratas123 Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2011	@ Senpai - Plan to give some odd traits because he's a clone. ANy ideas? Side note - You can tell because the first girl has Charlotte's face __________________

2012-02-23, 19:15	Link #23573
ZeroXSEED I am no one Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Inside your head	Well, I dunno. Rapid deterioration aside, which is pretty much standard sci-fi sign of a clone. Note - The way I imagine Orimura-papa is exactly like the older brother, while Josh is Manga!Ichika. __________________

2012-02-23, 19:21	Link #23574
Eratas123 Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2011	I meant actual good traits. He was meant to be a weapon, so he doesn't have a load of weaknesses like Irish does. So far All I have is rapid healing. Side note - If only Ichika was that hilarious in IS. __________________

2012-02-23, 19:28	Link #23575
ZeroXSEED I am no one Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Inside your head	Maybe he's also a supersoldier? has supper senses? You can blame the stigma about harem hero = bland character, it's a very old concept and damned by most audience, but is far from extinction, as proven by this original manga, he can create a good protagonist if he wanted (or if he CAN). __________________

2012-02-23, 19:30	Link #23576
Eratas123 Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2011	So kind of like Laura? His only weakness is he can't use the IS. A lot of harem protagonists have something they're good at, Ichika just fails at his. The others got it because they either work or suffer to get them, Ichika got his and doesn't even know what it is or seemingly care. __________________

2012-02-23, 19:37	Link #23577
ZeroXSEED I am no one Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Inside your head	Yes. So , the way to fix him is at the least have him care about his development and putting effort in improving himself more? __________________

2012-02-23, 19:45	Link #23578
Eratas123 Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2011	Yeah. Kinji and others harem protags do, and no one gives him flak. __________________

2012-02-23, 19:57	Link #23579
ZeroXSEED I am no one Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Inside your head	One more point for me to remember __________________

2012-02-23, 19:59	Link #23580
Eratas123 Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2011	What do you mean? __________________