AnimeSuki Forums

wavehawk · 2011-10-02, 03:11

...You know, maybe you should read Dune---there's some description as to why people in that universe still use swords and knives---mainly because personal shields protect against most firearms. It's not quite the same for IS, but you could probably get some ideas from that.

Quote:

"Orimura Ichika...don't you understand?"

"Haah?"

"That kindness is the most cruel thing a man can do to a woman." ""

"I don't really understand what you're trying to say..."

"Of course you don't." Although her voice sounded cool and confident as always, <Ren> sunk her trembling hands in her pockets. "If you did, if you ever understood everything the first time--things would have been different..."

Eratas123 · 2011-10-02, 04:03

Quote:

Originally Posted by wavehawk

...You know, maybe you should read Dune---there's some description as to why people in that universe still use swords and knives---mainly because personal shields protect against most firearms. It's not quite the same for IS, but you could probably get some ideas from that.

Do you mind if I use/mention <Ren> in my fanfic? I'm currently writing chapter 4 and I'd like to know if I can.

wavehawk · 2011-10-02, 04:13

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eratas123

Do you mind if I use/mention <Ren> in my fanfic? I'm currently writing chapter 4 and I'd like to know if I can.

- Depends. Where is she going to be used?

At risk of spoiling things, <Ren>'s story happens between the end of Vol.3 and the start of Vol.5 EG once Tatenashi appears on the scene, she won't be guarding Ichika anymore.

...though reading ZerXSeed's story makes me wonder what would happen to the <Ren> of that alternate universe...(Shudders)

Anyway, I have at least two more chapters to write about <Ren> that will hopefully explain her character a bit better. I won't post it to FF.net until all three chapters are done, because I'll have to revise the current chapters and fix inconsistencies as they progress.

Eratas123 · 2011-10-02, 04:18

Quote:

Originally Posted by wavehawk

- Depends. Where is she going to be used?

At risk of spoiling things, <Ren>'s story happens between the end of Vol.3 and the start of Vol.5 EG once Tatenashi appears on the scene, she won't be guarding Ichika anymore.

I plan to use the Dunoa corporation as an antagonist for both Ichika's and Irish segments, need to know if I can use her since she'd be pretty interested in saving Ichika if that was the case

My story starts at the end of volume 1 and diverges from there, canon events still happen but mixing the events of both Kyuukai and Irish in which will expand more on them.

wavehawk · 2011-10-02, 04:22

Then I might have to ask you to check with me when adding her--since you guys are unfamiliar with the Arashikage ninja clan (and their protrayals in various series of G.I.Joe differ greatly). Plus, <Ren>'s own secrets.

Eratas123 · 2011-10-02, 04:26

Quote:

Originally Posted by wavehawk

Then I might have to ask you to check with me when adding her--since you guys are unfamiliar with the Arashikage ninja clan (and their protrayals in various series of G.I.Joe differ greatly). Plus, <Ren>'s own secrets.

Don't worry

The point of view when she's around will stay with either Irish (Ichika rescue arc) or Ichika himself (The rest of the time) so her secrets wont be compromised

You can't read the others minds in first person view

DarkJak2050 · 2011-10-02, 05:15

Alright, Ch. 2 of Project Silverback is up.

Project Silverback Ch. 2

Goddamn it... [Crashes on bed, face first]

Eratas123 · 2011-10-02, 05:21

Congratulations! I'll read it after a while...writing chapter 4 right now.

EDIT: Chapter 4 prologue:

Spoiler:

Prologue of chapter 1, anybody please read and say what you think.

ZeroXSEED · 2011-10-02, 06:08

Damn it still struck at chapter 9
Decided to have a two rounder match at the very least
1. Yamada-sensei vs Rin & Cecil (short)
2. Yamada-sensei vs Ichika & Char (long)

Ichika & Char, while has no experience working together, last longer cause they trust each other and paid attention to their teammates.

Eratas123 · 2011-10-02, 06:18

Quote:

Originally Posted by ZeroXSEED

Damn it still struck at chapter 9
Decided to have a two rounder match at the very least
1. Yamada-sensei vs Rin & Cecil (short)
2. Yamada-sensei vs Ichika & Char (long)

Ichika & Char, while has no experience working together, last longer cause they trust each other and paid attention to their teammates.

Can you make the fight with Cecilia and Rin longer? It's kind of annoying that these two are the designated butt monkeys when they wanna show how strong someone is, they are representative candidates so they should last longer

BTW- Just thought of a new draft thanks to agetreme's help, will post it later so can you please read and review if you're not too busy?

HasuMasu · 2011-10-02, 06:18

Another small part of my fic's latest chapter,
still working on it, feedback would help at
this point so I can make the necessary changes.

Spoiler for Phase 4:

Well, I guess I should say, even though this
is my self-insert challenge entry fic, unlike
the past chapters, this isn't written in my POV,
rather, from here on out it will be in Rin's POV
most of the time, the first 3 chapters you could
consider a prologue I guess, since this is where
the real story starts.

Btw, Chapter 4 is narrated by Rin years after the
story happened, hence why she sounds a bit more
mature than usual.

ZeroXSEED · 2011-10-02, 06:33

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eratas123

Can you make the fight with Cecilia and Rin longer? It's kind of annoying that these two are the designated butt monkeys when they wanna show how strong someone is, they are representative candidates so they should last longer

I'll safe it for them vs Laura, basically, they Took a level in teamwork after the beatdown by Yamada-sensei.

As I said before, Rin and Cecil isn't weak, they're just too stubborn to work together.

Anyway, when I said physical, it's not really a slab of blunt iron, but a high frequency sword that generates a field of plasma due to the friction with air (hence their glowing orange appearance). If you can count the damage delivered it's like:

Spoiler for Lol:

Beam Saber is more effective at sapping shield, HF sword however has the advantage that it has better attribute as defense tool and parrying weapon (Since it has reasonable mass), you can say knockback effect.

wavehawk · 2011-10-02, 07:07

Read ch1-8 of Blits' Sacred Twins fic.

...

...damn you Blitz, if I write another <Ren> fic and it turns out to exist in your reality, I swear I will have to kill you.

ZeroXSEED · 2011-10-02, 07:12

Quote:

Originally Posted by wavehawk

Read ch1-8 of Blits' Sacred Twins fic.

...

...damn you Blitz, if I write another <Ren> fic and it turns out to exist in your reality, I swear I will have to kill you.

Zero: "I'M NOT GOING TO LET MY CO-WRITER DIE!!! OOONORE WAVEHAAAWWWKKK!!!"

*Deploying Sentries around Blitz' house using orbital launcher*

Seriously though...why?

wavehawk · 2011-10-02, 07:20

Because me writing a fanfic based on another writer's fanfic has only happened ONCE before...needless to say it was VERY well liked, to my surprise:
http://wavehawk.weebly.com/fan-work.html file: Illomk.zip

Thing is, I'm not even finished with <Ren> in her regular story yet, and now I have to deal with ideas...I blame Gundam Evolve #8 for this, dammit.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GzrifKdrEss
Watch that. Now replace the Ginns with Drone IS and the Strike Gundam with <Ren>-chan and you'll see what I mean.

"But <Ren> can't pilot an IS, right?
Right. She won't be in an IS.
"Oh crap..."

Eratas123 · 2011-10-02, 07:27

@ Box- Good so far! Mature Rin is definitely better than Yandere jelly Rin

Keep up The good work.

@ZeroXSEED- Draft I just thought of and cost nearly all my sanity to complete. Mood whiplash and Ho-Yay trope activated.

Spoiler:

*Pukes on the floor* Please read and review! *Faints*

ZeroXSEED · 2011-10-02, 07:28

Quote:

Originally Posted by wavehawk

Because me writing a fanfic based on another writer's fanfic has only happened ONCE before...needless to say it was VERY well liked, to my surprise:
http://wavehawk.weebly.com/fan-work.html file: Illomk.zip

Thing is, I'm not even finished with <Ren> in her regular story yet, and now I have to deal with ideas...I blame Gundam Evolve #8 for this, dammit.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GzrifKdrEss
Watch that. Now replace the Ginns with Drone IS and the Strike Gundam with <Ren>-chan and you'll see what I mean.

"But <Ren> can't pilot an IS, right?
Right. She won't be in an IS.
"Oh crap..."

Umm, I downloaded it and let's say my brains is fried by the sheer complexity of story....is that crossover or...something?

@ Eratas:

urp-BLAAAAARGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

wavehawk · 2011-10-02, 07:33

Quote:

Originally Posted by ZeroXSEED

Umm, I downloaded it and let's say my brains is fried by the sheer complexity of story....is that crossover or...something?

- Sort of. The original basis for the fanfic is "Illusions", a long-runnign fanfic by Fred Herriot bealing with Bubblgum Crisis (Mainly), but throwing in stuff from Urusei Yatsura, Ranma 1/2, all the way up to Tokimeki Memorial and Sentimental Graffitti galgames. I tried as much as possible to make it accessible without confusing the new reader too much, but...well, it is pretty convoluted since the Illusions fic series has been going around since the early 90's....

I ended up collaborating with Fred on "Silent Storm", and some other guys who read it said they loved how I made my fic a Reconstruction of Cyberpunk--which is weird, because I wrote it while heavily inspired by Rainbow Six and Metal Gear Solid. IMHO it's not too bad, it's one of my favorites in terms of writing thriller/future fantasy...

HasuMasu · 2011-10-02, 07:33

PHASE 4: Happy Ending

See? I told you I'd be updating
more often from now on, well
at least I hope it can continue
like this, I certainly don't want
to repeat the 1 month gap
between Chapter 1 and 2.

Eratas123 · 2011-10-02, 07:48

@ZeroXSEED-
1. Is my grammar that bad? >_< I thought for sure it was okay. *Sulks in corner*
2. Are you still writing the author fic?

2011-10-02, 04:22	Link #2045
wavehawk Some say I'm the Reverse Join Date: Jul 2006	Then I might have to ask you to check with me when adding her--since you guys are unfamiliar with the Arashikage ninja clan (and their protrayals in various series of G.I.Joe differ greatly). Plus, <Ren>'s own secrets. __________________ "We haven't been properly introduced..."

2011-10-02, 05:21	Link #2048
Eratas123 Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2011	Congratulations! I'll read it after a while...writing chapter 4 right now. EDIT: Chapter 4 prologue: Spoiler: POV: Kyuukai Tokiwa Location: Conference hall ‘Sure are a lot of people here.’ I was sitting in the front row along with some of the other country representatives, the stage was right in front of us so we could get a good look at the performance of the IS pilots. ‘This is interesting and all, but I wish they’d stop staring at me already...’ I’ve been getting stares from all over the auditorium ever since I got here, what’s the big deal? I’m not the only guy here. ‘You’re the only one here who’s even in their age limit’ A voice in my head suddenly said. ‘So go get a girlfriend already, you can rub it in to Akira later.’ ‘Shut up brain!’ ‘You know you want to...just say you’re a hero and they’ll be swooning into your arms before you know it!’ Oh great, I was arguing with myself, might as well call myself a schizo now and get into a hospital. ‘I don’t think that’s a good idea’ I heard the voice argue back. ‘Girls don’t really dig guys in straight jackets.’ This is probably what happens when you hold your hormones back, you get voices in your head telling you to get a girlfriend. ‘Nope that’s not it’ “He” laughed. ‘You’re a special case, that’s all’ 'Nobody asked you!’ “Are you alright?” A female voice asked. “You’ve been moving around in your seat for a while now.” “Huh? Oh, I’m alright” I turn my head and look at the person who asked me. The person who asked me was girl with pale skin and silver hair. She was wearing a dark uniform with the label “Shwarzer Hase” on her shoulder along with (you won’t believe this) an eyepatch covering her right eye. “Then please stop moving in your seat, you are disturbing other people.” “I-I’m sorry” ‘Whoa! She seems pretty strict, the uniform she’s wearing look like it’s from the military, she even looks younger than I do.’ Ever since the Infinite Stratos was released IS pilots were allowed to join the military and receive training as young as the age of 12. They usually weren’t deployed unless it was drastic since the IS were banned from official military use but it still seems unethical. “The demonstration will start in a few minutes, please stay in your seat and keep quiet as to not disturb the others” “I get it” “Attention for all in the building. We will begin the demonstration in a few minutes, please take your seats and stay quiet until the demonstration has ended. Thank you.” I slumped in my seat after hearing the announcement (which earned me a slight glare from the silver haired girl beside me) and waited for the demo to start, hopefully nothing bad actually happens. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- POV: Irish Location: Conference hall, back stage. ‘Alright, I have to make this quick.’ I sneak up to the person fixing the different stage materials before-Smack- hitting him in the back of the head and pulling him into the storage room. ‘Thank god this suit enhances strength.’ Making sure he was still asleep, I strip the clothes from his unconscious body before putting it over the skull suit. ‘It’s too big!’ The disguise’s sleeves were baggy and went over my hands along with the pants leg dragging on the floor. I looked way too suspicious wearing it like this. ‘Need to compromise then’ I pull the knife I stashed under the disguise and cut off the extra lengths of cloth. ‘It’ll have to do for now, hopefully they won’t see through it too quickly.’ After I making sure the clothes fit I pick up the radio and make contact with Viktor’s team. “Irish, are you and your team in position?” Viktor’s voice called from the radio. “We are. I’ve stunned one of the stage workers and taken his uniform, the others are outside with the getaway vehicle, we should be okay till the demo starts.” “Michael and Joshua’s squad is in position as well, we’ll start the operation a few minutes after the demo starts, be prepared!” “How much time do I have?” “You’ll have fifteen minutes before I start my end of the distraction, that’s how long.” “15 minutes? This entire building is swarming with IS pilots and you want me to kidnap one in just 15 minutes?” “You’ll have to deal with it.” He deadpanned. “You don’t want to be in that hall by the end of the time limit.” “What do you mean?” “Just do your job.” Click ‘Kidnapping the English representative in 15 minutes? Easier said than done Viktor’ I place the radio back into the suits pocket and make my way out of the storage closet. “Attention for all in the building. We will begin the demonstration in a few minutes, please take your seats and stay quiet until the demonstration has ended. Thank you.” ‘It looks like the performance will start soon, better ready myself then’ Prologue of chapter 1, anybody please read and say what you think. Last edited by Eratas123; 2011-10-02 at 06:09.

2011-10-02, 06:08	Link #2049
ZeroXSEED I am no one Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Inside your head	Damn it still struck at chapter 9 Decided to have a two rounder match at the very least 1. Yamada-sensei vs Rin & Cecil (short) 2. Yamada-sensei vs Ichika & Char (long) Ichika & Char, while has no experience working together, last longer cause they trust each other and paid attention to their teammates. __________________

2011-10-02, 06:18	Link #2051
HasuMasu Senior Member Artist Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: The Middle Way	Another small part of my fic's latest chapter, still working on it, feedback would help at this point so I can make the necessary changes. Spoiler for Phase 4: ... I met John during my first year at IS Academy, a school that trains people to pilot the IS, a weapon of mass destruction created by Doctor Shinonono, but that’s not the point, you see, John was not a student at IS Academy, instead he worked there, why is it you ask? Simple— …men can’t use the IS. Well, it’s not without exceptions, but he certainly wasn’t one of them. Before his arrival, embarrassing as it is, I was in love. In love with a boy I had known years prior. A boy that, in the past, would often eat at my home. A boy that protected me. A boy, that could not understand my feelings. Still, I loved him. A maiden’s heart is troublesome, no? I think so too. Though, it’s useless to pretend anything could be done about it, that was just the way things turned out, nothing special, that’s all. Cheesy as it sounds, I’ll never forget the day John entered our lives, no it wasn’t a grand entrance or anything, he wasn’t even asked to introduce himself, after all, he wasn’t a student. ... Well, I guess I should say, even though this is my self-insert challenge entry fic, unlike the past chapters, this isn't written in my POV, rather, from here on out it will be in Rin's POV most of the time, the first 3 chapters you could consider a prologue I guess, since this is where the real story starts. Btw, Chapter 4 is narrated by Rin years after the story happened, hence why she sounds a bit more mature than usual. __________________

2011-10-02, 07:07	Link #2053
wavehawk Some say I'm the Reverse Join Date: Jul 2006	Read ch1-8 of Blits' Sacred Twins fic. ... ...damn you Blitz, if I write another <Ren> fic and it turns out to exist in your reality, I swear I will have to kill you. __________________ "We haven't been properly introduced..."

2011-10-02, 05:15	Link #2047
DarkJak2050 Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2011	Alright, Ch. 2 of Project Silverback is up. Project Silverback Ch. 2 Goddamn it... [Crashes on bed, face first]

2011-10-02, 07:20	Link #2055
wavehawk Some say I'm the Reverse Join Date: Jul 2006	Because me writing a fanfic based on another writer's fanfic has only happened ONCE before...needless to say it was VERY well liked, to my surprise: http://wavehawk.weebly.com/fan-work.html file: Illomk.zip Thing is, I'm not even finished with <Ren> in her regular story yet, and now I have to deal with ideas...I blame Gundam Evolve #8 for this, dammit. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GzrifKdrEss Watch that. Now replace the Ginns with Drone IS and the Strike Gundam with <Ren>-chan and you'll see what I mean. "But <Ren> can't pilot an IS, right? Right. She won't be in an IS. "Oh crap..." __________________ "We haven't been properly introduced..."

2011-10-02, 07:27	Link #2056
Eratas123 Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2011	@ Box- Good so far! Mature Rin is definitely better than Yandere jelly Rin Keep up The good work. @ZeroXSEED- Draft I just thought of and cost nearly all my sanity to complete. Mood whiplash and Ho-Yay trope activated. Spoiler: POV:Irish Location: IS academy field. pant pant "Is she dead?" "..." I cautiously step closer to the body of the girl slumped on the floor and check her heartbeat. doki doki 'Looks like she's still alive...' This girl, Talia she called herself, tried to attack me earlier in the classroom. Thankfully I managed to lure her to the field and activate the anti-IS field and physically overwhelm her but right now I'm facing a problem. It would be safer to kill her, but I don't know if that'll have a bad effect in the long run. "WH-WHAT HAPPENED HERE!" I turn to the right and see a girl, about 5'2, with pink hair dressed in some kind of track suit. Looks like a student here. "..." "WHAT DID YOU DO TO TALIA-SAN!" "..." I didn't bother trying to answer her. What was I gonna say? That she attacked me first? In this imbalanced environment they'd obviously believe that the guy was the aggressor and the girl was the victim. 'Seems like she knows who this person is, I'll just leave her here then' I walk towards the arena entrance and try to leave before others appeared. "WAIT!" GRAB The girl grabbed my arm before I could walk away and started shouting at me. "You didn't answer my question!" "...Shut up, you wouldn't believe me if I told you" "You're really starting to piss me off!" "You think I care? Go take care of your psychopath friend over there and leave me alone!" "That's it!" She let go of my arm before she summoned some kind of gauntlet onto her hand. 'She's a Representative candidate?' "Prepare to get your ass kicked!" 'I REALLY hate this place!' ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Location: School Library 'Finally lost her!' I managed to get away from that crazy bitch after running around for 30 minutes straight, looks like I'm in the schools library. "Looks like you need some help" The person who spoke to me was a girl with long silver hair and a sleepy expression on her face. "..." "If you want to stop Yuu-chan then you'll have to disengage her from her one-off ability." Looks like that girl's name is Yuu. "What do you mean?" "If you make her lose her focus then she should stop chasing you." "How exactly do I do that? She's been chasing me for over half an hour and she still seems pretty damn focused." "Just show her something she wants to see..." "That would be?" I had bad feeling about this. "Boys Love" She said with a completely straight face. "What!? Are you crazy?" "I'm just trying to help you, wether you believe me or not is up to you." She left as soon as she said those last words. 'Can I even trust her?' BOOM "Found you!" Guess I'll have to find out! ------------------------------------------------------------------ POV: Ichika Orimura Me, Cecilia, Rin, Charles, and Houki were sitting at the cafeteria and eating our meals. I was having a meal composed of Carbonara which Charles had told me had high nutritional value. 'This is delicious! Charles was right about this stuff' "Orimura!" Irish was running towards our table and it looked like he was panicked about something. "Hm? What is it Irish?" "I-I-I" He was stuttering as if he was nervous, that was new. "You can't get away from me!" A girl with short pink hair dressed in a tracksuit suddenly burst into the room. Irish seemed to stiffen before he faced towards me again. "I love you Orimura! Please go out with me!" I thought I heard Irish say. ......Who said that? It sounded like Irish but I'm sure I just misheard- "Orimura! Please go out with me!" I heard him say for sure this time. 'WHHAAAAT!' """""WHAAAAAT!""""" Girls all over the Cafeteria were screaming in shock, I'm shocked as well but right now I'm speechless. "Y-You and Ichika-san! But He's supposed to be seme for Charles-kun" The pink haired girl uttered. "H-He's mine now!" He suddenly put his arms around my neck. "Wh-What do you think of that?" This can't be happening to me, I like Girls!...But he did look really cute in that maid outf-NO! BAD ICHIKA! Drool The pink girl collapsed onto the floor with a smile on her face. "A new rival has appeared!" "NO! ICHIKA-SAN! YOU'RE MEANT FOR CHARLES-KUN" What's happening to my life!? Pukes on the floor Please read and review! Faints

2011-10-02, 07:33	Link #2059
HasuMasu Senior Member Artist Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: The Middle Way	*PHASE 4: Happy Ending* See? I told you I'd be updating more often from now on, well at least I hope it can continue like this, I certainly don't want to repeat the 1 month gap between Chapter 1 and 2. __________________

2011-10-02, 07:48	Link #2060
Eratas123 Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2011	@ZeroXSEED- 1. Is my grammar that bad? >_< I thought for sure it was okay. Sulks in corner 2. Are you still writing the author fic?