The Genderbending of Haruhi Suzumiya [Spoilers Aplenty]

[CrowKenobi]

Nice writeup Kaisos, the only thing that bothered me on my initial read of it was Mitsuru calling Itsuko "Koizumi-chan." Should that be "Koizumi-san?"

[Roger Rambo]

Originally Posted by CrowKenobi

Nice writeup Kaisos, the only thing that bothered me on my initial read of it was Mitsuru calling Itsuko "Koizumi-chan." Should that be "Koizumi-san?"

Which is ironic, considering that as a Senior student it's Itsuko who should be call Mitsuuru san

Ah to live the life of a butt monkey

[Aebliss]

Originally Posted by Kaisos Erranon

Finally done this.

I worked on it all night. With many distractions.

Spoiler for September the Fifth, Day 4: Old Shack: The Answers (IV):

The Answers (IV)


Itsuko: The way I see it, there could be three possibilities. One we have already discussed.

Mitsuuru: The one where Suzumiya-san created the universe we're in right now out of boredom, right? Like I said, he can't be that powerf--

Itsuko: Let me finish. Yes, this universe could have been created by our Suzumiya-san... but since there seems to be another Suzumiya-san in this universe with similar abilities, I doubt that is entirely the case.


Not to mention, that feeling I had when I woke up on this side last night... that feeling of waking up for the first time.

As though our own world was nothing but a dream...


Mitsuuru: How do you even know that the Suzumiya-san on this side even has powers?

Itsuko: Given what Nagato and your kouhai here experienced on this side yesterday, it is surmisable that this version of Suzumiya-san shares his powers, as it is clear that something that is at least similar to the Integrated Data Entity exists. Correct?


Nagato turns around, nods briefly and turns back around again. …He did mention that he was connected to something while we were jumping around the school building, didn't he...


Itsuko: Anyway, this possibility doesn't quite work with what we already know... why would we moving to this universe if our universe was the original one? I doubt Suzumiya-san wants to be rid of us.

Kyonko: Wasn't it only me that was sliding over to this universe?

Mitsuuru: Rippling.

Kyonko: Huh?

Mitsuuru: ...You kept correcting me yesterday. You said you were “rippling over”. Don't you remember?

Kyonko: …

Mitsuuru: Are you really okay, Kyon-chan?


Would you all please stop trying to convince me that I'm crazy!?


Itsuko: *ahem* In any case, you're correct. I can imagine Suzumiya-san wanting to get rid of you even less.


Also, stop insinuating things like that.


Itsuko: A possibility that makes more sense, therefore, would be the other one I raised yesterday: That our world, not this one, is the creation.

Mitsuuru: …

Kyonko: ...I don't like that. That means none of us really exist, right?

Itsuko: Perhaps. However, 'I think, therefore I exist', right? Even if our origins are not what we imagined them to be, we are still here.

Mitsuuru: Could we, like, not discuss this possibility? You have no proof, and it's not exactly comforting...


Itsuko shifts her stance a little.


Itsuko: Who said I didn't have any proof? And besides, I'm just getting to the good part.


I get the feeling that she's only just begun.


Itsuko: Even if we assume this possibility as true, there are still several points I must make. One is that the Suzumiya-san of our world and the Suzumiya-san of this world seem to retain the same powers. Obviously, this raises a few questions. For one, how could the Suzumiya-san here create an alternate version of herself without the knowledge of her own powers? If she was aiming to create an exact yet gender-flipped replica of herself, our Suzumiya-san would not possess the powers he currently holds.

Kyonko: Wait, wait. Why would this world's Haruki have to have knowledge of her powers to do something like this? If it's all subconscious, why would knowledge of anything matter?

Itsuko: Ah, excellent point. I did not think of that. So, the question becomes... why are you being dragged over to this side at all? Why are we stuck here, now? I will put forth this question: What if our world is slowly, ever so slowly, folding into this one? What if this world's Suzumiya-san, who created our world, is beginning to forget about us? We can assume that, if she did, our world would cease to exist, and we, in this world, would be all that remains...


….

I don't want to even consider this.


Kyonko: ...I didn't really catch all of that, but if the two Harukis have the same power, why can't our Haruki support our world on his own?

Itsuko: Hmm. Consider this: let's keep assuming that the Suzumiya-san of this world did create the Suzumiya-san of this world, creating him with the same powers as herself.

Kyonko: Yeah?

Itsuko: As the Suzumiya-san of this world is the one who gave our Suzumiya-san his power, she is the one who is supplying him with those powers in the first place, therefore, if she nno longer wishes for him to have powers, our Suzumiya-san will also lose all of his powers, as they are connected to hers. ...Unless..


Itsuko placed her chin in her left hand for a second. I could tell that she was straining to properly evaluate all the possibilities that she could discern, as usual.


Kyonko: Yes, yes, please go on.

Itsuko:... Well, there perhaps is a certain unquantifiable chance that the Suzumiya-san of this world is no longer in contact with the power that our Suzumiya-san has, and ergo, is unable to lessen or manipulate those powers from afar. In sharp contrast to what Einstein may expect a being like the Suzumiya-san of this world to do, perhaps that Suzumiya-san has chosen to play dice with our universe, as it is; infusing it and her male copy with immense power, and then allowing it to forever more play out as it will.

Kyonko: I like this idea better. ...I still don't like the idea that we're just 'fakes'--

Mitsuuru: I agree!

Kyonko: But I like this idea better. It makes our universe less... volatile, right?

Itsuko: Probably. There are still many undetermined variables that I will need to find a way to account for in order to come to a firmer stance on just what we are facing. For the moment, however, it may be best to prepare for the worst.

The worst, huh? I always hate it when Itsuko sounds like that...


Mitsuuru: Hold on a minute, Koizumi-chan. You said there were three possibilities. You've only brought up two.

Itsuko: But don't you find this one so much more compelling?

Mitsuuru: ...No.

Itsuko: *sigh* Alternatively, as a third possibility, I simply have the extremely inaccurate Many-Worlds Interpretation. There could be multiple self-sustaining universes, a number of which have managed to produce some form of Haruki, perhaps male, perhaps female, with or without his powers.


I'd like to live in the “Haruki without powers universe” personally. Could we find a universe where he isn't such an oaf, too?


Itsuko: By this interpretation, this universe we find ourselves in is one where some people, perhaps only those within and surrounding the SOS brigade, are of the opposite gender. But, like I said much earlier, this possibility doesn't account for things we already--

Mitsuuru: Then, well, shouldn't we find something that makes that possibility work? Anything else is unacceptable. I refuse to believe I'm just a contrived copy.

Itsuko: Hmm, well then...


Itsuko's perpetual smile widens further, reaching her eyes.


Itsuko: If it makes you feel more comfortable, what about this? We were summoned here as a result of this universe's version of Suzumiya-san attempting to steal the powers of our Suzumiya-san.

Kyonko: Wait, how does that work at all?

Mitsuuru: It doesn't...?


And if that's true, why am I the one, er, “rippling over” if


Itsuko: If that is the case, then it is probable that this universe's version of Suzumiya-san (let's call her "Haruna-chan" for short) is simply incapable of pulling the real Suzumiya-san out of his universe. Suzumiya-san isn't resisting Haruna-chan's theft of his powers because he doesn't know anything is going on, but she can't pull him into a different universe because that goes against Suzumiya's common sense.

Kyonko: What about me? You keep forgetting the part about why I'm being pulled here.

Itsuko: Ah, yes, that is important. Perhaps because you are the person closest to Suzumiya-san-


Yeah, right!


Itsuko: -you have been locked onto as the nearest equivalent to him.

Kyonko: That makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.

Itsuko: Ohoho~. Does it really not? Then how about this? Haruna's feelings for this universe's version of you have been transmitted from this universe to ours and pulled you here.

Kyonko: That... is very creepy. Whatever. You're saying that this is all a big cosmic tug-of-war?

Itsuko: Yes, exactly. Think of it, say, like this. In one universe, there is a Haruki Suzumiya-san with infinite power, while in the other, as a counterbalance, there must exist a Haruna Suzumiya-chan with infinite power, to keep the various alternate dimensions in balance. However, since the infinite is indivisible, the power is fluctuating, oscillating between the two, creating a current between the dimensions as it shifts from one Suzumiya-san (or -chan) to the other while attempting to achieve an impossible balance: by definition of their nature, both Suzumiyas should have infinite power. By its own definition, the infinite power can not be wielded by two entities simultaneously, or it would be divided and thus less than infinite. As the power flows to and fro, people are dragged along with its current. The fact that you are being drawn into this world, rather than people being drawn to ours seems to indicate that the power is starting to shift most strongly to the Haruna-chan side.


…Huh. That's actually pretty good.


Mitsuuru: Pretty good for something she thought up on the spot, you mean.

Itsuko: ...Oh?

Mitsuuru: Kyon-chan, Koizumi-chan's reasoning is, like usual, not exactly, how should I say, well-thought-out. Infinity doesn't work like she's saying.

Kyonko: How so?

Mitsuuru: Say Suzumiya-san's power really is infinite. Isn't it greater than both Suzumiyas? Wouldn't it just encompass them? Suzumiya-san is very energetic, but he isn't infinite. Even he gets tired and hungry after a while. So, even if the Suzumiyas have some kind of 'power', it either encompasses them and these dimensional shifts are due to something different, or their power is not infinite.

Itsuko: Or one universe, probably ours, is merely a creation of the other Suzumiya-san.

Mitsuuru: Unacceptable, like I said. Why does it have to be Suzumiya-san who pulled Kyon-chan over to this side? Couldn't it be something else, like--

Itsuko: Tell me, Asahina-san. Have you tried to contact the future yet?

Mitsuuru: …? No, why would I? It's not my future.

Itsuko: Because you might find out something useful about the nature of this world. I, on the other hand, spent the last night in contact with this world's equivalent of the Agency I belong to.


So that explains the uniform... and everything else, then.


Mitsuuru: Wh--? That... I...

Itsuko: In any case, there's something far more important than figuring out what this world really is.


You were the one who brought it up in the first place!


Itsuko: What Haruki Suzumiya-san's reaction to all of this will be.

Kyonko: His reaction to our disappearances? I thought about that...

Itsuko: His reaction to your disappearance in particular.

Kyonko: Shut up.

Itsuko: I can only hope he doesn't try something drastic. We must try to get back to our own universe as soon as possible. Nagato-san, I believe I requested that you look into that...

Yuuki: All resources spent maintaining key programs. Noninterference would--

Itsuko: …It would probably be wise to attempt to contact your equivalent on this side too, Nagato-san....


I thought of something.


Kyonko: Nagato, is it possible for you to synchronize now?


Maybe he was unable to synchronize since his future self was in another universe...?


Yuuki: All resources spent maintaining--

Kyonko: Never mind...

Itsuko: I think that concludes our meeting, then.


Wait, we really haven't covered anything. And who put you in charge, anyway?


Itsuko: ...I am the Vice Commander of the SOS Brigade, after all.


Don't remind me.


Itsuko: And we have little more to discuss, as a group. ...I don't think we need to stick together for the rest of the day. We'll meet at 7:00 tonight at... Kouyouen Station, shall we?

Kyonko: Why there?

Itsuko: It's more convenient. Now, you and I need to have a little talk, so...


Itsuko pulls my arm in an attempt to get me away from Nagato and Asahina-senpai.


Mitsuuru: Ah, wait, I'll come too.

Itsuko: You won't be doing that, I'm afraid. You're going to stay here and attempt to contact this future. The more we know the better. Also, it would be helpful if you can get Nagato-san to say something other than...

Nagato: Noninterference would be appreciated.

Itsuko: That.


The last I saw of Asahina-senpai, before Itsuko took me protestingly down the stairs, was him flopping onto a carboard box, muttering to himself.

It's kind of funny... we had these meetings to try to find answers, but I don't think we've really found any at all.

In fact, we've only raised more questions.

***

Mitsuuru Asahina snorted.

“She thinks she knows everything, huh?”

Of course, Itsuko Koizumi was perfectly correct about one thing: That the most important thing they should be worrying about is Haruki Suzumiya's current mental state.

Mitsuuru Asahina never liked it when Itsuko Koizumi was right. It made him feel uncomfortable, considering all the other things he said.

Meanwhile, Yuuki Nagato was still standing in the corner, acting even weirder than usual.

“You feeling any better?”

“Attempting to reinstall basic software. Noninterference would be appreciated.”

With a response like that, Mitsuuru Asahina could only sigh.

I tried to incorporate most of what you guys came up with... and the scene title ended up ironic as a result.

Goodnight.

Ahhh, there it is! I've been looking forward to this for the past days. Good to see all the theories together in one chapter.

[Triple_R]

Originally Posted by Kaisos Erranon

Finally done this.

I worked on it all night. With many distractions.

Spoiler for September the Fifth, Day 4: Old Shack: The Answers (IV):

The Answers (IV)


Itsuko: The way I see it, there could be three possibilities. One we have already discussed.

Mitsuuru: The one where Suzumiya-san created the universe we're in right now out of boredom, right? Like I said, he can't be that powerf--

Itsuko: Let me finish. Yes, this universe could have been created by our Suzumiya-san... but since there seems to be another Suzumiya-san in this universe with similar abilities, I doubt that is entirely the case.


Not to mention, that feeling I had when I woke up on this side last night... that feeling of waking up for the first time.

As though our own world was nothing but a dream...


Mitsuuru: How do you even know that the Suzumiya-san on this side even has powers?

Itsuko: Given what Nagato and your kouhai here experienced on this side yesterday, it is surmisable that this version of Suzumiya-san shares his powers, as it is clear that something that is at least similar to the Integrated Data Entity exists. Correct?


Nagato turns around, nods briefly and turns back around again. …He did mention that he was connected to something while we were jumping around the school building, didn't he...


Itsuko: Anyway, this possibility doesn't quite work with what we already know... why would we moving to this universe if our universe was the original one? I doubt Suzumiya-san wants to be rid of us.

Kyonko: Wasn't it only me that was sliding over to this universe?

Mitsuuru: Rippling.

Kyonko: Huh?

Mitsuuru: ...You kept correcting me yesterday. You said you were “rippling over”. Don't you remember?

Kyonko: …

Mitsuuru: Are you really okay, Kyon-chan?


Would you all please stop trying to convince me that I'm crazy!?


Itsuko: *ahem* In any case, you're correct. I can imagine Suzumiya-san wanting to get rid of you even less.


Also, stop insinuating things like that.


Itsuko: A possibility that makes more sense, therefore, would be the other one I raised yesterday: That our world, not this one, is the creation.

Mitsuuru: …

Kyonko: ...I don't like that. That means none of us really exist, right?

Itsuko: Perhaps. However, 'I think, therefore I exist', right? Even if our origins are not what we imagined them to be, we are still here.

Mitsuuru: Could we, like, not discuss this possibility? You have no proof, and it's not exactly comforting...


Itsuko shifts her stance a little.


Itsuko: Who said I didn't have any proof? And besides, I'm just getting to the good part.


I get the feeling that she's only just begun.


Itsuko: Even if we assume this possibility as true, there are still several points I must make. One is that the Suzumiya-san of our world and the Suzumiya-san of this world seem to retain the same powers. Obviously, this raises a few questions. For one, how could the Suzumiya-san here create an alternate version of herself without the knowledge of her own powers? If she was aiming to create an exact yet gender-flipped replica of herself, our Suzumiya-san would not possess the powers he currently holds.

Kyonko: Wait, wait. Why would this world's Haruki have to have knowledge of her powers to do something like this? If it's all subconscious, why would knowledge of anything matter?

Itsuko: Ah, excellent point. I did not think of that. So, the question becomes... why are you being dragged over to this side at all? Why are we stuck here, now? I will put forth this question: What if our world is slowly, ever so slowly, folding into this one? What if this world's Suzumiya-san, who created our world, is beginning to forget about us? We can assume that, if she did, our world would cease to exist, and we, in this world, would be all that remains...


….

I don't want to even consider this.


Kyonko: ...I didn't really catch all of that, but if the two Harukis have the same power, why can't our Haruki support our world on his own?

Itsuko: Hmm. Consider this: let's keep assuming that the Suzumiya-san of this world did create the Suzumiya-san of this world, creating him with the same powers as herself.

Kyonko: Yeah?

Itsuko: As the Suzumiya-san of this world is the one who gave our Suzumiya-san his power, she is the one who is supplying him with those powers in the first place, therefore, if she nno longer wishes for him to have powers, our Suzumiya-san will also lose all of his powers, as they are connected to hers. ...Unless..


Itsuko placed her chin in her left hand for a second. I could tell that she was straining to properly evaluate all the possibilities that she could discern, as usual.


Kyonko: Yes, yes, please go on.

Itsuko:... Well, there perhaps is a certain unquantifiable chance that the Suzumiya-san of this world is no longer in contact with the power that our Suzumiya-san has, and ergo, is unable to lessen or manipulate those powers from afar. In sharp contrast to what Einstein may expect a being like the Suzumiya-san of this world to do, perhaps that Suzumiya-san has chosen to play dice with our universe, as it is; infusing it and her male copy with immense power, and then allowing it to forever more play out as it will.

Kyonko: I like this idea better. ...I still don't like the idea that we're just 'fakes'--

Mitsuuru: I agree!

Kyonko: But I like this idea better. It makes our universe less... volatile, right?

Itsuko: Probably. There are still many undetermined variables that I will need to find a way to account for in order to come to a firmer stance on just what we are facing. For the moment, however, it may be best to prepare for the worst.

The worst, huh? I always hate it when Itsuko sounds like that...


Mitsuuru: Hold on a minute, Koizumi-chan. You said there were three possibilities. You've only brought up two.

Itsuko: But don't you find this one so much more compelling?

Mitsuuru: ...No.

Itsuko: *sigh* Alternatively, as a third possibility, I simply have the extremely inaccurate Many-Worlds Interpretation. There could be multiple self-sustaining universes, a number of which have managed to produce some form of Haruki, perhaps male, perhaps female, with or without his powers.


I'd like to live in the “Haruki without powers universe” personally. Could we find a universe where he isn't such an oaf, too?


Itsuko: By this interpretation, this universe we find ourselves in is one where some people, perhaps only those within and surrounding the SOS brigade, are of the opposite gender. But, like I said much earlier, this possibility doesn't account for things we already--

Mitsuuru: Then, well, shouldn't we find something that makes that possibility work? Anything else is unacceptable. I refuse to believe I'm just a contrived copy.

Itsuko: Hmm, well then...


Itsuko's perpetual smile widens further, reaching her eyes.


Itsuko: If it makes you feel more comfortable, what about this? We were summoned here as a result of this universe's version of Suzumiya-san attempting to steal the powers of our Suzumiya-san.

Kyonko: Wait, how does that work at all?

Mitsuuru: It doesn't...?


And if that's true, why am I the one, er, “rippling over” if


Itsuko: If that is the case, then it is probable that this universe's version of Suzumiya-san (let's call her "Haruna-chan" for short) is simply incapable of pulling the real Suzumiya-san out of his universe. Suzumiya-san isn't resisting Haruna-chan's theft of his powers because he doesn't know anything is going on, but she can't pull him into a different universe because that goes against Suzumiya's common sense.

Kyonko: What about me? You keep forgetting the part about why I'm being pulled here.

Itsuko: Ah, yes, that is important. Perhaps because you are the person closest to Suzumiya-san-


Yeah, right!


Itsuko: -you have been locked onto as the nearest equivalent to him.

Kyonko: That makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.

Itsuko: Ohoho~. Does it really not? Then how about this? Haruna's feelings for this universe's version of you have been transmitted from this universe to ours and pulled you here.

Kyonko: That... is very creepy. Whatever. You're saying that this is all a big cosmic tug-of-war?

Itsuko: Yes, exactly. Think of it, say, like this. In one universe, there is a Haruki Suzumiya-san with infinite power, while in the other, as a counterbalance, there must exist a Haruna Suzumiya-chan with infinite power, to keep the various alternate dimensions in balance. However, since the infinite is indivisible, the power is fluctuating, oscillating between the two, creating a current between the dimensions as it shifts from one Suzumiya-san (or -chan) to the other while attempting to achieve an impossible balance: by definition of their nature, both Suzumiyas should have infinite power. By its own definition, the infinite power can not be wielded by two entities simultaneously, or it would be divided and thus less than infinite. As the power flows to and fro, people are dragged along with its current. The fact that you are being drawn into this world, rather than people being drawn to ours seems to indicate that the power is starting to shift most strongly to the Haruna-chan side.


…Huh. That's actually pretty good.


Mitsuuru: Pretty good for something she thought up on the spot, you mean.

Itsuko: ...Oh?

Mitsuuru: Kyon-chan, Koizumi-chan's reasoning is, like usual, not exactly, how should I say, well-thought-out. Infinity doesn't work like she's saying.

Kyonko: How so?

Mitsuuru: Say Suzumiya-san's power really is infinite. Isn't it greater than both Suzumiyas? Wouldn't it just encompass them? Suzumiya-san is very energetic, but he isn't infinite. Even he gets tired and hungry after a while. So, even if the Suzumiyas have some kind of 'power', it either encompasses them and these dimensional shifts are due to something different, or their power is not infinite.

Itsuko: Or one universe, probably ours, is merely a creation of the other Suzumiya-san.

Mitsuuru: Unacceptable, like I said. Why does it have to be Suzumiya-san who pulled Kyon-chan over to this side? Couldn't it be something else, like--

Itsuko: Tell me, Asahina-san. Have you tried to contact the future yet?

Mitsuuru: …? No, why would I? It's not my future.

Itsuko: Because you might find out something useful about the nature of this world. I, on the other hand, spent the last night in contact with this world's equivalent of the Agency I belong to.


So that explains the uniform... and everything else, then.


Mitsuuru: Wh--? That... I...

Itsuko: In any case, there's something far more important than figuring out what this world really is.


You were the one who brought it up in the first place!


Itsuko: What Haruki Suzumiya-san's reaction to all of this will be.

Kyonko: His reaction to our disappearances? I thought about that...

Itsuko: His reaction to your disappearance in particular.

Kyonko: Shut up.

Itsuko: I can only hope he doesn't try something drastic. We must try to get back to our own universe as soon as possible. Nagato-san, I believe I requested that you look into that...

Yuuki: All resources spent maintaining key programs. Noninterference would--

Itsuko: …It would probably be wise to attempt to contact your equivalent on this side too, Nagato-san....


I thought of something.


Kyonko: Nagato, is it possible for you to synchronize now?


Maybe he was unable to synchronize since his future self was in another universe...?


Yuuki: All resources spent maintaining--

Kyonko: Never mind...

Itsuko: I think that concludes our meeting, then.


Wait, we really haven't covered anything. And who put you in charge, anyway?


Itsuko: ...I am the Vice Commander of the SOS Brigade, after all.


Don't remind me.


Itsuko: And we have little more to discuss, as a group. ...I don't think we need to stick together for the rest of the day. We'll meet at 7:00 tonight at... Kouyouen Station, shall we?

Kyonko: Why there?

Itsuko: It's more convenient. Now, you and I need to have a little talk, so...


Itsuko pulls my arm in an attempt to get me away from Nagato and Asahina-senpai.


Mitsuuru: Ah, wait, I'll come too.

Itsuko: You won't be doing that, I'm afraid. You're going to stay here and attempt to contact this future. The more we know the better. Also, it would be helpful if you can get Nagato-san to say something other than...

Nagato: Noninterference would be appreciated.

Itsuko: That.


The last I saw of Asahina-senpai, before Itsuko took me protestingly down the stairs, was him flopping onto a carboard box, muttering to himself.

It's kind of funny... we had these meetings to try to find answers, but I don't think we've really found any at all.

In fact, we've only raised more questions.

***

Mitsuuru Asahina snorted.

“She thinks she knows everything, huh?”

Of course, Itsuko Koizumi was perfectly correct about one thing: That the most important thing they should be worrying about is Haruki Suzumiya's current mental state.

Mitsuuru Asahina never liked it when Itsuko Koizumi was right. It made him feel uncomfortable, considering all the other things he said.

Meanwhile, Yuuki Nagato was still standing in the corner, acting even weirder than usual.

“You feeling any better?”

“Attempting to reinstall basic software. Noninterference would be appreciated.”

With a response like that, Mitsuuru Asahina could only sigh.

I tried to incorporate most of what you guys came up with... and the scene title ended up ironic as a result.

Goodnight.

Nice job, Kaisos! I'm really pleased to see my little contribution in there, completely unedited. It's nice to see a solid group effort contribute to a very good Itsuko Koizumi-centered scene.

[Tyabann]

Originally Posted by CrowKenobi

Nice writeup Kaisos, the only thing that bothered me on my initial read of it was Mitsuru calling Itsuko "Koizumi-chan." Should that be "Koizumi-san?"

She's his kouhai, and a girl; he has no obligation to show anything more than "-chan" level respect for her.

Also they don't like each other at all so it's probably done somewhat mockingly.

Also I fixed the stuff you guys brought up.

[silvita]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0oOVh...95FA3&index=21 Is this something that would also be considered MANLY enough for haruki to sing well, or just as a decent example of a male singing that song

[swtrooper42]

I liked the flipped version better because I like the deeper guitars.
It's a nice version though.

[Aebliss]

Previous instalment.

Spoiler for "Suzumiya Haruki no Setsubun, part 20. Rehearsals.”:

Getting Taniguchi to join in with my ‘play’ was simplicity itself, once I’d dropped Tsuruya-san’s name. Kunikida’s agreeing to help out was practically a foregone conclusion once Taniguchi was in. Those two are really close friends, huh … And getting Tsuruya-san to agree to my unreasonable demands … was really depressingly easy.

I phoned him up after escaping from the clubroom and Haruki, while I was making my way home. Before I escaped, Haruki kept going on about neck massages being the next best thing after scalp massages for providing someone with an uninterrupted sleep, but I didn’t really feel comfortable with him going there …

“Oh, hey there, Kyon-chan!” Tsuruya-san’s voice cheerfully boomed out of my cell phone. “Nyahaha, been a while, been a while, eh? What’s up, calling me out of the blue? I’m kidding, I’m glad to hear from you, so what’s shaking?”

Me, actually. I’m getting nervous.

“Tsuruya-san,” I said. “I’d like to ask … are you very busy this Sunday? Only I’m trying to organize a play with some of the members of the SOS-dan and a few friends from my class, and we kind of need someone to –”

“Ohoho, a play?” Tsuruya-san laughed, sounding delighted. “Sounds like fun! Is this another one written by Haruki?”

“Ah, no,” I replied, as tactfully as I could. “This was written by … by someone else. It’s rather old, I’m trying to adapt it to a more modern audience.”

“That sounds like fun!” Somehow, I could just picture Tsuruya-san’s huge little boy grin. Your enthusiasm would be infectious if the circumstances were less dire, Tsuruya-san. Please keep it up.

“Could you come to my place?” I asked. “My two friends from class should already be on their way there, and the other members of the SOS-dan are bringing the … props.”

Good grief. The props. At least I didn’t have to go buy those things.

“Sure thing,” the agreeable Tsuruya-san replied. “Just tell me where to go and I’ll be there in a flash. Hey, will Mitsuuru be playing along with us?”

“No, I’m afraid not,” I replied, suppressing a wince.

Asahina-sempai had been giving me the most doleful, disappointed looks when I finally dashed out of the clubroom. I am sorry if my deciding to follow ‘superstitious fairytale rituals’ has made you lose your esteem for me, Asahina-sempai, but enough with the puppy dog looks.

“Pity,” Tsuruya-san said, sounding sincere. “He was a lot of fun to work with during the movie.”

I suppressed a very different sort of wince, and gave Tsuruya-san my home address before ending the conversation.

Well, now the long-distance communication is finished, I have to quickly get home and engage in some short-distance communication to head off trouble.

The first thing I did when arriving home after shouting a lively ‘Tadaima!’ into the living room, was run up to my bedroom to toss my schoolbag through the door. The very next thing I did was dash back downstairs and charge into the kitchen. As I had expected, my father was already there, tallying the ingredients he would need for tonight’s dinner. Have I mentioned lately how much I appreciate your thoroughness and attention to detail, not to mention your devotion to properly planning each stage of the day, dad?

“Hello to you, too,” my father replied, quirking a smile at me even as he raised an eyebrow. “What might you need today, oh eldest child?”

“Well, now that you mention it,” I said, trying my best to be as charming as I could be in the presence of one of my parents, “I’d like a hug from my favourite dad.”

Dad’s smile turned into a slightly smug grin, but he obliged me. And then he seized my shoulders, held me at arm’s length and simply said: “Out with it. What’s going on?”

I read recently in the paper that many children despair that their parents can never understand them, never see where they’re coming from, and so lose their foundation in a stressful world. Maybe you could try being oblivious sometime? Or pretend …?

“Yes, yes, daddy’s a terrible man,” my father chuckled. “Dreadfully embarrassing. Now stop stalling and tell me what’s going on, please?”

“I’ve been roped into helping my club put on a performance,” I dutifully replied, “on this Sunday. We kind of need a place to rehearse, so …”

“So your friends are coming over?” my father guessed, smiling shrewdly. “How many of them?”

“Five of them,” I admitted.

“Including that nice Suzumiya boy?” my father asked, his smile growing a little wider. “The one who brought you home on Setsubun?”

No, Haruki will definitely not be in attendance. Please don’t look so disappointed, you’re creeping me out.

“Will they be staying for dinner?” dad asked, now sounding a little distracted as he turned to his list of dinner ingredients.

I actually hope not, but my hopes have been cruelly dashed before in my young life, so why take the chance?

“I’m not sure,” I admitted, “but I don’t think it’s entirely impossible.”

“Well,” dad hesitated, tallying up our present supplies by opening the refrigerator and peering inside. “Hm. I suppose I could make dinner stretch to that many people with a bit of work… or we could just get the special ramen from the corner stall if everyone wants to stay for dinner …Or maybe the special udon …?”

I took this to mean that operation ‘get the actors into my house without being grounded’ could hereby be filed under great successes, and left my dad to puzzle his way through the dinner checklist.

While he tallied, I went hunting for my little brother, and found him sitting in his own room for a change, playing a game.

“Hey, why don’t you knock?” he complained as I burst in.

You have no right to talk, when you come and torture me out of bed every morning, you little brat!

I unceremoniously seized my brother by his wrists and ankles, thwarting a startled attempt to put me in a headlock, and lugged him over to my own room, where I kicked the door shut behind me and deposited my brother on the bed. He immediately leapt up, a big grin on his face, and tried to engage me in more wrestling manoeuvres. You can cut that out, I have something to talk to you about. Privately.

“What’s up?” he asked, looking intrigued.

“I have a job for you,” I notified him. “Be grateful; you get to give another acting performance.”

“Ooh, Haru-aniki is making another movie?” he asked brightly, a big grin appearing on his face out of nowhere.

No, no. The ultra director will not be having his hand in this production. You are currently addressing the director of the current piece.

“Eh~?” my brother said, looking at me askance. “Kyon-chan is directing? That sounds boring. I don’t think I want to play if you’re just going to direct some sappy shoujo manga play.”

Well, rest assured, little brother of mine. This will not be anything cute and mushy. Lend me your ear, and I’ll tell you about the part that has been granted down to you from on high.

My little brother listened, and his reluctant expression changed into a fresh grin. “That sounds cool!” he stated. “And we’re really doing it at your school? But aren’t they closed on Sunday?”

Just leave that to the divine preparation of your onee-chan. However, it would probably be best not to mention this to mom and dad. Ever.

My little brother started to look sly and opened his mouth, but I headed him off with a simple: “Your reward for keeping quiet is being allowed to come out and play with the SOS-dan and your big sister’s other friends. You will also get the opportunity to feast on food handcrafted by Asahina-sempai. Don’t get greedy, squirt.”

My brother giggled and agreed to my terms.

“Good,” I said. “Be ready for rehearsals in a few minutes. The first few actors should be arriving soon.”

As it turned out, the doorbell rang only a minute later, obliging me to dash down the stairs and admit none other than Taniguchi and Kunikida, the former looking a little flushed and out of breath. Did you run all the way here?

“Hello,” Kunikida said, smiling politely. “Please pardon the intrusion –”

“Is Tsuruya-sempai here yet?” Taniguchi asked, adding a belated “Hey, Kyon.”

Please feel free to enter my humble home. Also please feel free to follow me up the stairs to my bedroom, where I have copies of the relevant printouts all ready and waiting in my schoolbag, courtesy of the efforts of one Nagato Yuuki.

“Tsuruya-sempai isn’t here yet?” Taniguchi whined as soon as I set her and Kunikida up in my bedroom and put papers in their hands.

He should be here shortly. I’ll go get some tea downstairs. Feel free to start reading your part while I’m away, I don’t mind.

“Hold on just a moment,” Taniguchi protested before I could leave the room. “What’s this about these costumes? Why do I have to play – No, just forget it. You can find me some other part to play, can’t you? Where’s the rest of the script?”

“Personally, I don’t have any trouble,” Kunikida said, earning herself a surprised look from Taniguchi. “Well, it sounds interesting,” she said, smiling brightly. Perhaps even impishly. “But … are we going to perform this in front of an audience? I’m not sure I’d like that …”

“No, no,” I hastened to assure her. “Nagato-san will be videotaping the whole thing, so we can alter it as needed.”

“Come on, Kyon,” Taniguchi groaned as she looked through her part again. “Are you sure you want to go with this theme? Why not use fairies instead of –”

Ding dong, the doorbell did chime. I left the complaining Taniguchi and the surprisingly chipper Kunikida to each other’s company and dashed down to open the door. Tsuruya-san, it’s good to see you (as usual, I might say).

“Hey there, Kyon-chan!” Tsuruya-san saluted me, presenting his trademark grin, and briefly hugged me about the shoulders. “Here ya go, no visit’s complete without a little gift.”

You really didn’t have to. Is … is that a limousine, heading away from our doorstep? There’ve been too many of those lately.

My dad chose this moment to come out of the kitchen. He blinked twice at the sight of Tsuruya-san, who was pressing a small, tastefully wrapped package into my hands. Of course Tsuruya-san immediately made for him the moment he spotted dad, asking him to pardon the intrusion, shaking his hand and asking all about the house, our family, everything.

By the time I finally managed to separate the two of them and started dragging Tsuruya-san up the stairs, he had thoroughly charmed dad. All to the good, I suppose. I hoped. But I do wonder how I’m going to explain Tsuruya-san to mom tonight …

My triumphant return to my room was less than triumphant. I caught Taniguchi using one of my marker pens, trying to edit the text I’d given her and loudly arguing at Kunikida about ways to ‘improve’ the play. Put that pen down, you wench! There will be no rewrites! Fortunately, seeing Tsuruya-sempai up close and personal made Taniguchi very … pliant. By which I mean to say she instantly flushed bright red, and started to stammer about what an honour it was for her to be in the same play as he.

Tsuruya-san took to the concept of the play in a big way. He gave out a huge belly-laugh, exclaimed: “The heck? Awesome~! You actually came to me to participate in a play like this? Oh man, Suzumiya’s gonna kill you for cutting him out of this, nya ha ha~! Don’t worry, miss ultra director the second, I’ll protect ya at least until after we’ve done this thing. Oh, amazing, amazing! You need any help getting these costumes ready? I’m sure we’ve got some stuff at the house that could be made to fit …”

Tsuruya-san’s generous offer was cut off by the chiming of the doorbell. Again, I rushed downstairs to admit visitors. Just as expected, these were those reliable people known as Koizumi Itsuko and Nagato Yuuki. Come in, come in. You remember where my room is, right? Of course you do. Step right on up, I can see you’re loaded down with bags of stuff.

After admitting Itsuko and Nagato to my room, I knocked once on the door of my little brother’s bedroom. I would have knocked twice, perhaps even thrice, except he came barrelling out after the first knock, dodged me and ducked into my room after Yuuki.

Great. Enthusiasm. I mean to say: ‘Great, enthusiasm!’ Or maybe: ‘Great enthusiasm’? In any case, I followed my little brother into my room and commenced the arduous process of getting all our ducks in a row.

At a fairly early point, Tsuruya-san and Nagato had to carry my little brother out of my room and into his, carrying the boys’ uniforms while we girls put on ours. At times like these, a vanity screen would have been very welcome. Seeing as I lacked such an item, I made do with ordering everyone to turn their backs on each other while changing.

“How come you get to wear a hakama over your costume?” Taniguchi complained once we’d changed.

“That is a surprise,” Itsuko told her, winking, before I could open my mouth. “Please be patient, all shall be revealed during the actual performance.”

Hush up, you!

Once the boys were back, we compared outfits a little. Taniguchi complained that her outfit was too tight in the chest, which I personally considered to be a ridiculous lie. I notice you glancing at Tsuruya-sempai while you’re complaining, Taniguchi. You’re not fooling anyone …

“Hey, Kyon!” Taniguchi suddenly exclaimed. “Is this why you’ve been wearing that hair band for the past few days? Heh, were you in training?”

That’s more than enough out of you. Everybody into the back yard!

“I know you might not think it to look at her,” Itsuko said, smiling in a genteel fashion as we trooped down the stairs, “but she is quite the method actress.”

That’s more than enough out of you, as well. Back yard, back yard!

Dad headed us off at the backdoor, however. With his video camera.

“Oh, that looks very nice!” he complimented us, shamelessly taping us in these weird getups. “So you’re a Shinto priest, Tsuruya-kun? And Koizumi-chan and the other girls are …?”

“Dad,” I said brightly, grabbing my little brother by the shoulders and pushing him to the front of the group, “look at this!”

My little brother grinned appreciatively, hefting the special prop that Nagato and Itsuko had brought over for him. I knew it wasn’t the real thing, but it still made my blood run cold. How those two had ever managed to hunt down what looked like a complete replica of Makuro’s staff, I’ll never know. It even chimed when he moved.

“You look very tough, son!” dad complimented my little brother, obligingly filming him while he struck a pose reminiscent of a triumphant WWF wrestler. “Scary!”

“Heck yeah!” Tsuruya-san enthused. “I’d better be careful that he doesn’t kick my ass during rehearsals, or the play’s gonna be in trouble!” He laughed uproariously at that, whereas my insides were squirming like a nest of disturbed snakes. Please don’t let anyone have to bail out on me here. I’m begging you …

All in all, I suppose the first practice run wasn’t exactly terrible. Itsuko was kind enough to take over choreography, whereas Nagato pounded the ceremonial drum he’d purchased for the occasion. There’s an odd thought: Nagato buying things with money provided by Tachibana …

I was surprised to discover that Taniguchi and Kunikida moved fairly well to the music, though Taniguchi kept having to refer to her printout for her lines. They certainly did better than Itsuko, who moved a little too woodenly for my liking.

“It’s not that much of a problem though, is it?” Taniguchi said, shrugging, as I tried to get Itsuko to move a little more fluidly. “Just rewrite the script so Koizumi-san can stand still. Maybe give her more singing lines, so I can focus on dancing.”

I will ignore your words, not merely because I have come to expect that they are nonsensical and have begun to lazily discount what you say. This has more to do with my fear that rewriting the script would result in my ending my life on a bed of baby lettuce, with my hands full of roast potatoes and an apple jammed into my mouth.

The ‘duel’ between my little brother and Tsuruya-san was a sad mess. I had to stop them a goodly five times when they had just devolved into cheerfully whacking at each other with their soft weapons.

“But we’re having fun!” my little brother protested, pouting at me.

“I noticed,” I sighed, facing him with my hands on my hips. “The neighbours probably also noticed. Come on, I really, really need you to focus for me, here. This is really important to your one-chan, so will you please help me out this once?”

“But I do lots and lots of nice things for you!” my little brother protested, his expression growing stubborn. “I wake you up every morning, and that’s not easy!”

Things might have devolved into a sibling grudge match right there and then, if Tsuruya-san hadn’t stepped in.

“Hey there, little bro,” he said, ruffling my little brother’s hair. “Your sister just wants to make things look really cool. You wanna look cool, don’tcha? If you’re a man, it’s only natural for you to want to show off and have all the ladies swooning about your machismo and your cool factor.”

While my little brother didn’t seem that interested in swooning women, he definitely seemed to enjoy the idea that he’d be able to look cool.

“Well, if you want ta look cool in a movie,” Tsuruya-san continued, “you’ll want to follow the choreography! You think Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee just jump around like they’re on a trampoline, having fun? No; every battle in great movies is planned ahead, so everyone knows where they have to be when, and what they have to do once they’re there.”

The look of surprise on my little brother’s face was simply beautiful to behold. Had I been more like Nagato, I would probably have described it as ‘unique’. Since I’m me, I cursed the fact that I didn’t have my cell phone handy, which would have allowed me to take a snapshot of this occasion for my golden years.

“Alright,” Tsuruya-san concluded. “Let’s let the supreme director Kyon-chan do her thing, so she can make us look cool for the camera. Remember, little bro, rehearsals are something you take seriously so the end result makes you look like a genius!”

“Remarkable,” Itsuko remarked to me a little later, when we were all on a juice break. (My dad came out into the yard to shoot some more film and simultaneously offer us drinks.) “Truly remarkable, how the addition of Tsuruya-san to these proceedings is making them all go so very smoothly.”

I have to concur. Just one Tsuruya-san is enough to control two rambunctious idiots. Honestly forces me to admit that those same two idiots were using the juice break to vent some of their moronic energy at each other. I interfered before they could actually start duelling, using the weapons purchased for Tsuruya-san and my little brother.

“Do you think these dresses are easy to get?” I grumbled at Taniguchi as I wrested a ceremonial fan from her grip, while simultaneously pushing my little brother back with a hand on the dome of his skull. “Be a little more careful with it, alright?” Taniguchi muttered something rebellious. My little brother whacked me around the ankles with the fake staff once, which made me yelp and caused him to bolt into the house.

“Don’t worry, I’ll get him!” Tsuruya-san cheerfully offered, and jogged after the little brat. "Oh," he called back to me, "why don't you all come to my place tomorrow, so we can rehearse over there? A bit more room to move, and we won't have to worry about the neighbours minding the noise."

Maybe Taniguchi has a point, when she says that Tsuruya-san is in the A category, though our criteria are not at all the same. I have to admit, the robes of a Shinto priest suit him very well. If I met Tsuruya-san at a shrine, I … Let’s be honest, I’d be confused as to why such a cheerful, energetic person was wearing a priest’s robes.

“Wait, Tsuruya-sempai!” Taniguchi called out as she ran after our laughing senior. “I’ve been to Kyon’s house before, I’ll help you look!”

“Then I guess the break will last a little longer?” Kunikida observed, grinning as she toasted me with her bottle of juice.

From somewhere inside the house, I heard the sound of something smashing, followed by a mixture of laughter, yelling … and more running. I heaved a deep sigh and made my way over to Nagato, who had yet to put down the ceremonial drum.

“So,” I asked in a conversational tone of voice, “how badly doomed do you think I am?”

He blinked, then shook his head. “Considering the people used,” he said, “training is going well so far.”

“Uh huh,” I said, crossing my arms. “So how doomed am I? Not to mention the rest of the world.”

Nagato blinked again. Set down the drum. And to my amazement and mute embarrassment, he reached out his hand to pat me on the head.

“Don’t worry,” he said, his voice a careful monotone.

I feel better. I really do. Good enough to go inside and drag those troublemakers out by their ears if I have to! Let’s go!

We're almost, almost there. Someone asked for more of Kyonko's home life, and so I've provided it. ^^ What do you guys think?

Next instalment.

[Roger Rambo]

Originally Posted by Aebliss

Previous instalment.

Spoiler for "Suzumiya Haruki no Setsubun, part 20. Rehearsals.”:

Getting Taniguchi to join in with my ‘play’ was simplicity itself, once I’d dropped Tsuruya-san’s name. Kunikida’s agreeing to help out was practically a foregone conclusion once Taniguchi was in. Those two are really close friends, huh … And getting Tsuruya-san to agree to my unreasonable demands … was really depressingly easy.

I phoned him up after escaping from the clubroom and Haruki, while I was making my way home. Before I escaped, Haruki kept going on about neck massages being the next best thing after scalp massages for providing someone with an uninterrupted sleep, but I didn’t really feel comfortable with him going there …

“Oh, hey there, Kyon-chan!” Tsuruya-san’s voice cheerfully boomed out of my cell phone. “Nyahaha, been a while, been a while, eh? What’s up, calling me out of the blue? I’m kidding, I’m glad to hear from you, so what’s shaking?”

Me, actually. I’m getting nervous.

“Tsuruya-san,” I said. “I’d like to ask … are you very busy this Sunday? Only I’m trying to organize a play with some of the members of the SOS-dan and a few friends from my class, and we kind of need someone to –”

“Ohoho, a play?” Tsuruya-san laughed, sounding delighted. “Sounds like fun! Is this another one written by Haruki?”

“Ah, no,” I replied, as tactfully as I could. “This was written by … by someone else. It’s rather old, I’m trying to adapt it to a more modern audience.”

“That sounds like fun!” Somehow, I could just picture Tsuruya-san’s huge little boy grin. Your enthusiasm would be infectious if the circumstances were less dire, Tsuruya-san. Please keep it up.

“Could you come to my place?” I asked. “My two friends from class should already be on their way there, and the other members of the SOS-dan are bringing the … props.”

Good grief. The props. At least I didn’t have to go buy those things.

“Sure thing,” the agreeable Tsuruya-san replied. “Just tell me where to go and I’ll be there in a flash. Hey, will Mitsuuru be playing along with us?”

“No, I’m afraid not,” I replied, suppressing a wince.

Asahina-sempai had been giving me the most doleful, disappointed looks when I finally dashed out of the clubroom. I am sorry if my deciding to follow ‘superstitious fairytale rituals’ has made you lose your esteem for me, Asahina-sempai, but enough with the puppy dog looks.

“Pity,” Tsuruya-san said, sounding sincere. “He was a lot of fun to work with during the movie.”

I suppressed a very different sort of wince, and gave Tsuruya-san my home address before ending the conversation.

Well, now the long-distance communication is finished, I have to quickly get home and engage in some short-distance communication to head off trouble.

The first thing I did when arriving home after shouting a lively ‘Tadaima!’ into the living room, was run up to my bedroom to toss my schoolbag through the door. The very next thing I did was dash back downstairs and charge into the kitchen. As I had expected, my father was already there, tallying the ingredients he would need for tonight’s dinner. Have I mentioned lately how much I appreciate your thoroughness and attention to detail, not to mention your devotion to properly planning each stage of the day, dad?

“Hello to you, too,” my father replied, quirking a smile at me even as he raised an eyebrow. “What might you need today, oh eldest child?”

“Well, now that you mention it,” I said, trying my best to be as charming as I could be in the presence of one of my parents, “I’d like a hug from my favourite dad.”

Dad’s smile turned into a slightly smug grin, but he obliged me. And then he seized my shoulders, held me at arm’s length and simply said: “Out with it. What’s going on?”

I read recently in the paper that many children despair that their parents can never understand them, never see where they’re coming from, and so lose their foundation in a stressful world. Maybe you could try being oblivious sometime? Or pretend …?

“Yes, yes, daddy’s a terrible man,” my father chuckled. “Dreadfully embarrassing. Now stop stalling and tell me what’s going on, please?”

“I’ve been roped into helping my club put on a performance,” I dutifully replied, “on this Sunday. We kind of need a place to rehearse, so …”

“So your friends are coming over?” my father guessed, smiling shrewdly. “How many of them?”

“Five of them,” I admitted.

“Including that nice Suzumiya boy?” my father asked, his smile growing a little wider. “The one who brought you home on Setsubun?”

No, Haruki will definitely not be in attendance. Please don’t look so disappointed, you’re creeping me out.

“Will they be staying for dinner?” dad asked, now sounding a little distracted as he turned to his list of dinner ingredients.

I actually hope not, but my hopes have been cruelly dashed before in my young life, so why take the chance?

“I’m not sure,” I admitted, “but I don’t think it’s entirely impossible.”

“Well,” dad hesitated, tallying up our present supplies by opening the refrigerator and peering inside. “Hm. I suppose I could make dinner stretch to that many people with a bit of work… or we could just get the special ramen from the corner stall if everyone wants to stay for dinner …Or maybe the special udon …?”

I took this to mean that operation ‘get the actors into my house without being grounded’ could hereby be filed under great successes, and left my dad to puzzle his way through the dinner checklist.

While he tallied, I went hunting for my little brother, and found him sitting in his own room for a change, playing a game.

“Hey, why don’t you knock?” he complained as I burst in.

You have no right to talk, when you come and torture me out of bed every morning, you little brat!

I unceremoniously seized my brother by his wrists and ankles, thwarting a startled attempt to put me in a headlock, and lugged him over to my own room, where I kicked the door shut behind me and deposited my brother on the bed. He immediately leapt up, a big grin on his face, and tried to engage me in more wrestling manoeuvres. You can cut that out, I have something to talk to you about. Privately.

“What’s up?” he asked, looking intrigued.

“I have a job for you,” I notified him. “Be grateful; you get to give another acting performance.”

“Ooh, Haru-aniki is making another movie?” he asked brightly, a big grin appearing on his face out of nowhere.

No, no. The ultra director will not be having his hand in this production. You are currently addressing the director of the current piece.

“Eh~?” my brother said, looking at me askance. “Kyon-chan is directing? That sounds boring. I don’t think I want to play if you’re just going to direct some sappy shoujo manga play.”

Well, rest assured, little brother of mine. This will not be anything cute and mushy. Lend me your ear, and I’ll tell you about the part that has been granted down to you from on high.

My little brother listened, and his reluctant expression changed into a fresh grin. “That sounds cool!” he stated. “And we’re really doing it at your school? But aren’t they closed on Sunday?”

Just leave that to the divine preparation of your onee-chan. However, it would probably be best not to mention this to mom and dad. Ever.

My little brother started to look sly and opened his mouth, but I headed him off with a simple: “Your reward for keeping quiet is being allowed to come out and play with the SOS-dan and your big sister’s other friends. You will also get the opportunity to feast on food handcrafted by Asahina-sempai. Don’t get greedy, squirt.”

My brother giggled and agreed to my terms.

“Good,” I said. “Be ready for rehearsals in a few minutes. The first few actors should be arriving soon.”

As it turned out, the doorbell rang only a minute later, obliging me to dash down the stairs and admit none other than Taniguchi and Kunikida, the former looking a little flushed and out of breath. Did you run all the way here?

“Hello,” Kunikida said, smiling politely. “Please pardon the intrusion –”

“Is Tsuruya-sempai here yet?” Taniguchi asked, adding a belated “Hey, Kyon.”

Please feel free to enter my humble home. Also please feel free to follow me up the stairs to my bedroom, where I have copies of the relevant printouts all ready and waiting in my schoolbag, courtesy of the efforts of one Nagato Yuuki.

“Tsuruya-sempai isn’t here yet?” Taniguchi whined as soon as I set her and Kunikida up in my bedroom and put papers in their hands.

He should be here shortly. I’ll go get some tea downstairs. Feel free to start reading your part while I’m away, I don’t mind.

“Hold on just a moment,” Taniguchi protested before I could leave the room. “What’s this about these costumes? Why do I have to play – No, just forget it. You can find me some other part to play, can’t you? Where’s the rest of the script?”

“Personally, I don’t have any trouble,” Kunikida said, earning herself a surprised look from Taniguchi. “Well, it sounds interesting,” she said, smiling brightly. Perhaps even impishly. “But … are we going to perform this in front of an audience? I’m not sure I’d like that …”

“No, no,” I hastened to assure her. “Nagato-san will be videotaping the whole thing, so we can alter it as needed.”

“Come on, Kyon,” Taniguchi groaned as he looked through her part again. “Are you sure you want to go with this theme? Why not use fairies instead of –”

Ding dong, the doorbell did chime. I left the complaining Taniguchi and the surprisingly chipper Kunikida to each other’s company and dashed down to open the door. Tsuruya-san, it’s good to see you (as usual, I might say).

“Hey there, Kyon-chan!” Tsuruya-san saluted me, presenting his trademark grin, and briefly hugged me about the shoulders. “Here ya go, no visit’s complete without a little gift.”

You really didn’t have to. Is … is that a limousine, heading away from our doorstep? There’ve been too many of those lately.

My dad chose this moment to come out of the kitchen. He blinked twice at the sight of Tsuruya-san, who was pressing a small, tastefully wrapped package into my hands. Of course Tsuruya-san immediately made for him the moment he spotted dad, asking him to pardon the intrusion, shaking his hand and asking all about the house, our family, everything.

By the time I finally managed to separate the two of them and started dragging Tsuruya-san up the stairs, he had thoroughly charmed dad. All to the good, I suppose. I hoped. But I do wonder how I’m going to explain Tsuruya-san to mom tonight …

My triumphant return to my room was less than triumphant. I caught Taniguchi using one of my marker pens, trying to edit the text I’d given her and loudly arguing at Kunikida about ways to ‘improve’ the play. Put that pen down, you wench! There will be no rewrites! Fortunately, seeing Tsuruya-sempai up close and personal made Taniguchi very … pliant. By which I mean to say she instantly flushed bright red, and started to stammer about what an honour it was for her to be in the same play as he.

Tsuruya-san took to the concept of the play in a big way. He gave out a huge belly-laugh, exclaimed: “The heck? Awesome~! You actually came to me to participate in a play like this? Oh man, Suzumiya’s gonna kill you for cutting him out of this, nya ha ha~! Don’t worry, miss ultra director the second, I’ll protect ya at least until after we’ve done this thing. Oh, amazing, amazing! You need any help getting these costumes ready? I’m sure we’ve got some stuff at the house that could be made to fit …”

Tsuruya-san’s generous offer was cut off by the chiming of the doorbell. Again, I rushed downstairs to admit visitors. Just as expected, these were those reliable people known as Koizumi Itsuko and Nagato Yuuki. Come in, come in. You remember where my room is, right? Of course you do. Step right on up, I can see you’re loaded down with bags of stuff.

After admitting Itsuko and Nagato to my room, I knocked once on the door of my little brother’s bedroom. I would have knocked twice, perhaps even thrice, except he came barrelling out after the first knock, dodged me and ducked into my room after Yuuki.

Great. Enthusiasm. I mean to say: ‘Great, enthusiasm!’ Or maybe: ‘Great enthusiasm’? In any case, I followed my little brother into my room and commenced the arduous process of getting all our ducks in a row.

At a fairly early point, Tsuruya-san and Nagato had to carry my little brother out of my room and into his, carrying the boys’ uniforms while we girls put on ours. At times like these, a vanity screen would have been very welcome. Seeing as I lacked such an item, I made do with ordering everyone to turn their backs on each other while changing.

“How come you get to wear a hakama over your costume?” Taniguchi complained once we’d changed.

“That is a surprise,” Itsuko told her, winking, before I could open my mouth. “Please be patient, all shall be revealed during the actual performance.”

Hush up, you!

Once the boys were back, we compared outfits a little. Taniguchi complained that her outfit was too tight in the chest, which I personally considered to be a ridiculous lie. I notice you glancing at Tsuruya-sempai while you’re complaining, Taniguchi. You’re not fooling anyone …

“Hey, Kyon!” Taniguchi suddenly exclaimed. “Is this why you’ve been wearing that hair band for the past few days? Heh, were you in training?”

That’s more than enough out of you. Everybody into the back yard!

“I know you might not think it to look at her,” Itsuko said, smiling in a genteel fashion as we trooped down the stairs, “but she is quite the method actress.”

That’s more than enough out of you, as well. Back yard, back yard!

Dad headed us off at the backdoor, however. With his video camera.

“Oh, that looks very nice!” he complimented us, shamelessly taping us in these weird getups. “So you’re a Shinto priest, Tsuruya-kun? And Koizumi-chan and the other girls are …?”

“Dad,” I said brightly, grabbing my little brother by the shoulders and pushing him to the front of the group, “look at this!”

My little brother grinned appreciatively, hefting the special prop that Nagato and Itsuko had brought over for him. I knew it wasn’t the real thing, but it still made my blood run cold. How those two had ever managed to hunt down what looked like a complete replica of Makuro’s staff, I’ll never know. It even chimed when he moved.

“You look very tough, son!” dad complimented my little brother, obligingly filming him while he struck a pose reminiscent of a triumphant WWF wrestler. “Scary!”

“Heck yeah!” Tsuruya-san enthused. “I’d better be careful that he doesn’t kick my ass during rehearsals, or the play’s gonna be in trouble!” He laughed uproariously at that, whereas my insides were squirming like a nest of disturbed snakes. Please don’t let anyone have to bail out on me here. I’m begging you …

All in all, I suppose the first practice run wasn’t exactly terrible. Itsuko was kind enough to take over choreography, whereas Nagato pounded the ceremonial drum he’d purchased for the occasion. There’s an odd thought: Nagato buying things with money provided by Tachibana …

I was surprised to discover that Taniguchi and Kunikida moved fairly well to the music, though Taniguchi kept having to refer to her printout for her lines. They certainly did better than Itsuko, who moved a little too woodenly for my liking.

“It’s not that much of a problem though, is it?” Taniguchi said, shrugging, as I tried to get Itsuko to move a little more fluidly. “Just rewrite the script so Koizumi-san can stand still. Maybe give her more singing lines, so I can focus on dancing.”

I will ignore your words, not merely because I have come to expect that they are nonsensical and have begun to lazily discount what you say. This has more to do with my fear that rewriting the script would result in my ending my life on a bed of baby lettuce, with my hands full of roast potatoes and an apple jammed into my mouth.

The ‘duel’ between my little brother and Tsuruya-san was a sad mess. I had to stop them a goodly five times when they had just devolved into cheerfully whacking at each other with their soft weapons.

“But we’re having fun!” my little brother protested, pouting at me.

“I noticed,” I sighed, facing him with my hands on my hips. “The neighbours probably also noticed. Come on, I really, really need you to focus for me, here. This is really important to your one-chan, so will you please help me out this once?”

“But I do lots and lots of nice things for you!” my little brother protested, his expression growing stubborn. “I wake you up every morning, and that’s not easy!”

Things might have devolved into a sibling grudge match right there and then, if Tsuruya-san hadn’t stepped in.

“Hey there, little bro,” he said, ruffling my little brother’s hair. “Your sister just wants to make things look really cool. You wanna look cool, don’tcha? If you’re a man, it’s only natural for you to want to show off and have all the ladies swooning about your machismo and your cool factor.”

While my little brother didn’t seem that interested in swooning women, he definitely seemed to enjoy the idea that he’d be able to look cool.

“Well, if you want ta look cool in a movie,” Tsuruya-san continued, “you’ll want to follow the choreography! You think Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee just jump around like they’re on a trampoline, having fun? No; every battle in great movies is planned ahead, so everyone knows where they have to be when, and what they have to do once they’re there.”

The look of surprise on my little brother’s face was simply beautiful to behold. Had I been more like Nagato, I would probably have described it as ‘unique’. Since I’m me, I cursed the fact that I didn’t have my cell phone handy, which would have allowed me to take a snapshot of this occasion for my golden years.

“Alright,” Tsuruya-san concluded. “Let’s let the supreme director Kyon-chan do her thing, so she can make us look cool for the camera. Remember, little bro, rehearsals are something you take seriously so the end result makes you look like a genius!”

“Remarkable,” Itsuko remarked to me a little later, when we were all on a juice break. (My dad came out into the yard to shoot some more film and simultaneously offer us drinks.) “Truly remarkable, how the addition of Tsuruya-san to these proceedings is making them all go so very smoothly.”

I have to concur. Just one Tsuruya-san is enough to control two rambunctious idiots. Honestly forces me to admit that those same two idiots were using the juice break to vent some of their moronic energy at each other. I interfered before they could actually start duelling, using the weapons purchased for Tsuruya-san and my little brother.

“Do you think these dresses are easy to get?” I grumbled at Taniguchi as I wrested a ceremonial fan from her grip, while simultaneously pushing my little brother back with a hand on the dome of his skull. “Be a little more careful with it, alright?” Taniguchi muttered something rebellious. My little brother whacked me around the ankles with the fake staff once, which made me yelp and caused him to bolt into the house.

“Don’t worry, I’ll get him!” Tsuruya-san cheerfully offered, and jogged after the little brat. "Oh," he called back to me, "why don't you all come to my place tomorrow, so we can rehearse over there? A bit more room to move, and we won't have to worry about the neighbours minding the noise."

Maybe Taniguchi has a point, when she says that Tsuruya-san is in the A category, though our criteria are not at all the same. I have to admit, the robes of a Shinto priest suit him very well. If I met Tsuruya-san at a shrine, I … Let’s be honest, I’d be confused as to why such a cheerful, energetic person was wearing a priest’s robes.

“Wait, Tsuruya-sempai!” Taniguchi called out as she ran after our laughing senior. “I’ve been to Kyon’s house before, I’ll help you look!”

“Then I guess the break will last a little longer?” Kunikida observed, grinning as she toasted me with her bottle of juice.

From somewhere inside the house, I heard the sound of something smashing, followed by a mixture of laughter, yelling … and more running. I heaved a deep sigh and made my way over to Nagato, who had yet to put down the ceremonial drum.

“So,” I asked in a conversational tone of voice, “how badly doomed do you think I am?”

He blinked, then shook his head. “Considering the people used,” he said, “training is going well so far.”

“Uh huh,” I said, crossing my arms. “So how doomed am I? Not to mention the rest of the world.”

Nagato blinked again. Set down the drum. And to my amazement and mute embarrassment, he reached out his hand to pat me on the head.

“Don’t worry,” he said, his voice a careful monotone.

I feel better. I really do. Good enough to go inside and drag those troublemakers out by their ears if I have to! Let’s go!

We're almost, almost there. Someone asked for more of Kyonko's home life, and so I've provided it. ^^ What do you guys think?

And Ironically I haven't even read it yet

Notes
-Ototo's wrestling obsession is going to force Kyonko to move out of the house for college if she doesn't wanna get supplexed every five minutes when her little brother gets bigger than her
-Tsuruya(M) is badass as usual
-More cock teasing with regards to the outfits for the play.

[scify]

Originally Posted by Aebliss

Previous instalment.

Spoiler for "Suzumiya Haruki no Setsubun, part 20. Rehearsals.”:

Getting Taniguchi to join in with my ‘play’ was simplicity itself, once I’d dropped Tsuruya-san’s name. Kunikida’s agreeing to help out was practically a foregone conclusion once Taniguchi was in. Those two are really close friends, huh … And getting Tsuruya-san to agree to my unreasonable demands … was really depressingly easy.

I phoned him up after escaping from the clubroom and Haruki, while I was making my way home. Before I escaped, Haruki kept going on about neck massages being the next best thing after scalp massages for providing someone with an uninterrupted sleep, but I didn’t really feel comfortable with him going there …

“Oh, hey there, Kyon-chan!” Tsuruya-san’s voice cheerfully boomed out of my cell phone. “Nyahaha, been a while, been a while, eh? What’s up, calling me out of the blue? I’m kidding, I’m glad to hear from you, so what’s shaking?”

Me, actually. I’m getting nervous.

“Tsuruya-san,” I said. “I’d like to ask … are you very busy this Sunday? Only I’m trying to organize a play with some of the members of the SOS-dan and a few friends from my class, and we kind of need someone to –”

“Ohoho, a play?” Tsuruya-san laughed, sounding delighted. “Sounds like fun! Is this another one written by Haruki?”

“Ah, no,” I replied, as tactfully as I could. “This was written by … by someone else. It’s rather old, I’m trying to adapt it to a more modern audience.”

“That sounds like fun!” Somehow, I could just picture Tsuruya-san’s huge little boy grin. Your enthusiasm would be infectious if the circumstances were less dire, Tsuruya-san. Please keep it up.

“Could you come to my place?” I asked. “My two friends from class should already be on their way there, and the other members of the SOS-dan are bringing the … props.”

Good grief. The props. At least I didn’t have to go buy those things.

“Sure thing,” the agreeable Tsuruya-san replied. “Just tell me where to go and I’ll be there in a flash. Hey, will Mitsuuru be playing along with us?”

“No, I’m afraid not,” I replied, suppressing a wince.

Asahina-sempai had been giving me the most doleful, disappointed looks when I finally dashed out of the clubroom. I am sorry if my deciding to follow ‘superstitious fairytale rituals’ has made you lose your esteem for me, Asahina-sempai, but enough with the puppy dog looks.

“Pity,” Tsuruya-san said, sounding sincere. “He was a lot of fun to work with during the movie.”

I suppressed a very different sort of wince, and gave Tsuruya-san my home address before ending the conversation.

Well, now the long-distance communication is finished, I have to quickly get home and engage in some short-distance communication to head off trouble.

The first thing I did when arriving home after shouting a lively ‘Tadaima!’ into the living room, was run up to my bedroom to toss my schoolbag through the door. The very next thing I did was dash back downstairs and charge into the kitchen. As I had expected, my father was already there, tallying the ingredients he would need for tonight’s dinner. Have I mentioned lately how much I appreciate your thoroughness and attention to detail, not to mention your devotion to properly planning each stage of the day, dad?

“Hello to you, too,” my father replied, quirking a smile at me even as he raised an eyebrow. “What might you need today, oh eldest child?”

“Well, now that you mention it,” I said, trying my best to be as charming as I could be in the presence of one of my parents, “I’d like a hug from my favourite dad.”

Dad’s smile turned into a slightly smug grin, but he obliged me. And then he seized my shoulders, held me at arm’s length and simply said: “Out with it. What’s going on?”

I read recently in the paper that many children despair that their parents can never understand them, never see where they’re coming from, and so lose their foundation in a stressful world. Maybe you could try being oblivious sometime? Or pretend …?

“Yes, yes, daddy’s a terrible man,” my father chuckled. “Dreadfully embarrassing. Now stop stalling and tell me what’s going on, please?”

“I’ve been roped into helping my club put on a performance,” I dutifully replied, “on this Sunday. We kind of need a place to rehearse, so …”

“So your friends are coming over?” my father guessed, smiling shrewdly. “How many of them?”

“Five of them,” I admitted.

“Including that nice Suzumiya boy?” my father asked, his smile growing a little wider. “The one who brought you home on Setsubun?”

No, Haruki will definitely not be in attendance. Please don’t look so disappointed, you’re creeping me out.

“Will they be staying for dinner?” dad asked, now sounding a little distracted as he turned to his list of dinner ingredients.

I actually hope not, but my hopes have been cruelly dashed before in my young life, so why take the chance?

“I’m not sure,” I admitted, “but I don’t think it’s entirely impossible.”

“Well,” dad hesitated, tallying up our present supplies by opening the refrigerator and peering inside. “Hm. I suppose I could make dinner stretch to that many people with a bit of work… or we could just get the special ramen from the corner stall if everyone wants to stay for dinner …Or maybe the special udon …?”

I took this to mean that operation ‘get the actors into my house without being grounded’ could hereby be filed under great successes, and left my dad to puzzle his way through the dinner checklist.

While he tallied, I went hunting for my little brother, and found him sitting in his own room for a change, playing a game.

“Hey, why don’t you knock?” he complained as I burst in.

You have no right to talk, when you come and torture me out of bed every morning, you little brat!

I unceremoniously seized my brother by his wrists and ankles, thwarting a startled attempt to put me in a headlock, and lugged him over to my own room, where I kicked the door shut behind me and deposited my brother on the bed. He immediately leapt up, a big grin on his face, and tried to engage me in more wrestling manoeuvres. You can cut that out, I have something to talk to you about. Privately.

“What’s up?” he asked, looking intrigued.

“I have a job for you,” I notified him. “Be grateful; you get to give another acting performance.”

“Ooh, Haru-aniki is making another movie?” he asked brightly, a big grin appearing on his face out of nowhere.

No, no. The ultra director will not be having his hand in this production. You are currently addressing the director of the current piece.

“Eh~?” my brother said, looking at me askance. “Kyon-chan is directing? That sounds boring. I don’t think I want to play if you’re just going to direct some sappy shoujo manga play.”

Well, rest assured, little brother of mine. This will not be anything cute and mushy. Lend me your ear, and I’ll tell you about the part that has been granted down to you from on high.

My little brother listened, and his reluctant expression changed into a fresh grin. “That sounds cool!” he stated. “And we’re really doing it at your school? But aren’t they closed on Sunday?”

Just leave that to the divine preparation of your onee-chan. However, it would probably be best not to mention this to mom and dad. Ever.

My little brother started to look sly and opened his mouth, but I headed him off with a simple: “Your reward for keeping quiet is being allowed to come out and play with the SOS-dan and your big sister’s other friends. You will also get the opportunity to feast on food handcrafted by Asahina-sempai. Don’t get greedy, squirt.”

My brother giggled and agreed to my terms.

“Good,” I said. “Be ready for rehearsals in a few minutes. The first few actors should be arriving soon.”

As it turned out, the doorbell rang only a minute later, obliging me to dash down the stairs and admit none other than Taniguchi and Kunikida, the former looking a little flushed and out of breath. Did you run all the way here?

“Hello,” Kunikida said, smiling politely. “Please pardon the intrusion –”

“Is Tsuruya-sempai here yet?” Taniguchi asked, adding a belated “Hey, Kyon.”

Please feel free to enter my humble home. Also please feel free to follow me up the stairs to my bedroom, where I have copies of the relevant printouts all ready and waiting in my schoolbag, courtesy of the efforts of one Nagato Yuuki.

“Tsuruya-sempai isn’t here yet?” Taniguchi whined as soon as I set her and Kunikida up in my bedroom and put papers in their hands.

He should be here shortly. I’ll go get some tea downstairs. Feel free to start reading your part while I’m away, I don’t mind.

“Hold on just a moment,” Taniguchi protested before I could leave the room. “What’s this about these costumes? Why do I have to play – No, just forget it. You can find me some other part to play, can’t you? Where’s the rest of the script?”

“Personally, I don’t have any trouble,” Kunikida said, earning herself a surprised look from Taniguchi. “Well, it sounds interesting,” she said, smiling brightly. Perhaps even impishly. “But … are we going to perform this in front of an audience? I’m not sure I’d like that …”

“No, no,” I hastened to assure her. “Nagato-san will be videotaping the whole thing, so we can alter it as needed.”

“Come on, Kyon,” Taniguchi groaned as he looked through her part again. “Are you sure you want to go with this theme? Why not use fairies instead of –”

Ding dong, the doorbell did chime. I left the complaining Taniguchi and the surprisingly chipper Kunikida to each other’s company and dashed down to open the door. Tsuruya-san, it’s good to see you (as usual, I might say).

“Hey there, Kyon-chan!” Tsuruya-san saluted me, presenting his trademark grin, and briefly hugged me about the shoulders. “Here ya go, no visit’s complete without a little gift.”

You really didn’t have to. Is … is that a limousine, heading away from our doorstep? There’ve been too many of those lately.

My dad chose this moment to come out of the kitchen. He blinked twice at the sight of Tsuruya-san, who was pressing a small, tastefully wrapped package into my hands. Of course Tsuruya-san immediately made for him the moment he spotted dad, asking him to pardon the intrusion, shaking his hand and asking all about the house, our family, everything.

By the time I finally managed to separate the two of them and started dragging Tsuruya-san up the stairs, he had thoroughly charmed dad. All to the good, I suppose. I hoped. But I do wonder how I’m going to explain Tsuruya-san to mom tonight …

My triumphant return to my room was less than triumphant. I caught Taniguchi using one of my marker pens, trying to edit the text I’d given her and loudly arguing at Kunikida about ways to ‘improve’ the play. Put that pen down, you wench! There will be no rewrites! Fortunately, seeing Tsuruya-sempai up close and personal made Taniguchi very … pliant. By which I mean to say she instantly flushed bright red, and started to stammer about what an honour it was for her to be in the same play as he.

Tsuruya-san took to the concept of the play in a big way. He gave out a huge belly-laugh, exclaimed: “The heck? Awesome~! You actually came to me to participate in a play like this? Oh man, Suzumiya’s gonna kill you for cutting him out of this, nya ha ha~! Don’t worry, miss ultra director the second, I’ll protect ya at least until after we’ve done this thing. Oh, amazing, amazing! You need any help getting these costumes ready? I’m sure we’ve got some stuff at the house that could be made to fit …”

Tsuruya-san’s generous offer was cut off by the chiming of the doorbell. Again, I rushed downstairs to admit visitors. Just as expected, these were those reliable people known as Koizumi Itsuko and Nagato Yuuki. Come in, come in. You remember where my room is, right? Of course you do. Step right on up, I can see you’re loaded down with bags of stuff.

After admitting Itsuko and Nagato to my room, I knocked once on the door of my little brother’s bedroom. I would have knocked twice, perhaps even thrice, except he came barrelling out after the first knock, dodged me and ducked into my room after Yuuki.

Great. Enthusiasm. I mean to say: ‘Great, enthusiasm!’ Or maybe: ‘Great enthusiasm’? In any case, I followed my little brother into my room and commenced the arduous process of getting all our ducks in a row.

At a fairly early point, Tsuruya-san and Nagato had to carry my little brother out of my room and into his, carrying the boys’ uniforms while we girls put on ours. At times like these, a vanity screen would have been very welcome. Seeing as I lacked such an item, I made do with ordering everyone to turn their backs on each other while changing.

“How come you get to wear a hakama over your costume?” Taniguchi complained once we’d changed.

“That is a surprise,” Itsuko told her, winking, before I could open my mouth. “Please be patient, all shall be revealed during the actual performance.”

Hush up, you!

Once the boys were back, we compared outfits a little. Taniguchi complained that her outfit was too tight in the chest, which I personally considered to be a ridiculous lie. I notice you glancing at Tsuruya-sempai while you’re complaining, Taniguchi. You’re not fooling anyone …

“Hey, Kyon!” Taniguchi suddenly exclaimed. “Is this why you’ve been wearing that hair band for the past few days? Heh, were you in training?”

That’s more than enough out of you. Everybody into the back yard!

“I know you might not think it to look at her,” Itsuko said, smiling in a genteel fashion as we trooped down the stairs, “but she is quite the method actress.”

That’s more than enough out of you, as well. Back yard, back yard!

Dad headed us off at the backdoor, however. With his video camera.

“Oh, that looks very nice!” he complimented us, shamelessly taping us in these weird getups. “So you’re a Shinto priest, Tsuruya-kun? And Koizumi-chan and the other girls are …?”

“Dad,” I said brightly, grabbing my little brother by the shoulders and pushing him to the front of the group, “look at this!”

My little brother grinned appreciatively, hefting the special prop that Nagato and Itsuko had brought over for him. I knew it wasn’t the real thing, but it still made my blood run cold. How those two had ever managed to hunt down what looked like a complete replica of Makuro’s staff, I’ll never know. It even chimed when he moved.

“You look very tough, son!” dad complimented my little brother, obligingly filming him while he struck a pose reminiscent of a triumphant WWF wrestler. “Scary!”

“Heck yeah!” Tsuruya-san enthused. “I’d better be careful that he doesn’t kick my ass during rehearsals, or the play’s gonna be in trouble!” He laughed uproariously at that, whereas my insides were squirming like a nest of disturbed snakes. Please don’t let anyone have to bail out on me here. I’m begging you …

All in all, I suppose the first practice run wasn’t exactly terrible. Itsuko was kind enough to take over choreography, whereas Nagato pounded the ceremonial drum he’d purchased for the occasion. There’s an odd thought: Nagato buying things with money provided by Tachibana …

I was surprised to discover that Taniguchi and Kunikida moved fairly well to the music, though Taniguchi kept having to refer to her printout for her lines. They certainly did better than Itsuko, who moved a little too woodenly for my liking.

“It’s not that much of a problem though, is it?” Taniguchi said, shrugging, as I tried to get Itsuko to move a little more fluidly. “Just rewrite the script so Koizumi-san can stand still. Maybe give her more singing lines, so I can focus on dancing.”

I will ignore your words, not merely because I have come to expect that they are nonsensical and have begun to lazily discount what you say. This has more to do with my fear that rewriting the script would result in my ending my life on a bed of baby lettuce, with my hands full of roast potatoes and an apple jammed into my mouth.

The ‘duel’ between my little brother and Tsuruya-san was a sad mess. I had to stop them a goodly five times when they had just devolved into cheerfully whacking at each other with their soft weapons.

“But we’re having fun!” my little brother protested, pouting at me.

“I noticed,” I sighed, facing him with my hands on my hips. “The neighbours probably also noticed. Come on, I really, really need you to focus for me, here. This is really important to your one-chan, so will you please help me out this once?”

“But I do lots and lots of nice things for you!” my little brother protested, his expression growing stubborn. “I wake you up every morning, and that’s not easy!”

Things might have devolved into a sibling grudge match right there and then, if Tsuruya-san hadn’t stepped in.

“Hey there, little bro,” he said, ruffling my little brother’s hair. “Your sister just wants to make things look really cool. You wanna look cool, don’tcha? If you’re a man, it’s only natural for you to want to show off and have all the ladies swooning about your machismo and your cool factor.”

While my little brother didn’t seem that interested in swooning women, he definitely seemed to enjoy the idea that he’d be able to look cool.

“Well, if you want ta look cool in a movie,” Tsuruya-san continued, “you’ll want to follow the choreography! You think Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee just jump around like they’re on a trampoline, having fun? No; every battle in great movies is planned ahead, so everyone knows where they have to be when, and what they have to do once they’re there.”

The look of surprise on my little brother’s face was simply beautiful to behold. Had I been more like Nagato, I would probably have described it as ‘unique’. Since I’m me, I cursed the fact that I didn’t have my cell phone handy, which would have allowed me to take a snapshot of this occasion for my golden years.

“Alright,” Tsuruya-san concluded. “Let’s let the supreme director Kyon-chan do her thing, so she can make us look cool for the camera. Remember, little bro, rehearsals are something you take seriously so the end result makes you look like a genius!”

“Remarkable,” Itsuko remarked to me a little later, when we were all on a juice break. (My dad came out into the yard to shoot some more film and simultaneously offer us drinks.) “Truly remarkable, how the addition of Tsuruya-san to these proceedings is making them all go so very smoothly.”

I have to concur. Just one Tsuruya-san is enough to control two rambunctious idiots. Honestly forces me to admit that those same two idiots were using the juice break to vent some of their moronic energy at each other. I interfered before they could actually start duelling, using the weapons purchased for Tsuruya-san and my little brother.

“Do you think these dresses are easy to get?” I grumbled at Taniguchi as I wrested a ceremonial fan from her grip, while simultaneously pushing my little brother back with a hand on the dome of his skull. “Be a little more careful with it, alright?” Taniguchi muttered something rebellious. My little brother whacked me around the ankles with the fake staff once, which made me yelp and caused him to bolt into the house.

“Don’t worry, I’ll get him!” Tsuruya-san cheerfully offered, and jogged after the little brat. "Oh," he called back to me, "why don't you all come to my place tomorrow, so we can rehearse over there? A bit more room to move, and we won't have to worry about the neighbours minding the noise."

Maybe Taniguchi has a point, when she says that Tsuruya-san is in the A category, though our criteria are not at all the same. I have to admit, the robes of a Shinto priest suit him very well. If I met Tsuruya-san at a shrine, I … Let’s be honest, I’d be confused as to why such a cheerful, energetic person was wearing a priest’s robes.

“Wait, Tsuruya-sempai!” Taniguchi called out as she ran after our laughing senior. “I’ve been to Kyon’s house before, I’ll help you look!”

“Then I guess the break will last a little longer?” Kunikida observed, grinning as she toasted me with her bottle of juice.

From somewhere inside the house, I heard the sound of something smashing, followed by a mixture of laughter, yelling … and more running. I heaved a deep sigh and made my way over to Nagato, who had yet to put down the ceremonial drum.

“So,” I asked in a conversational tone of voice, “how badly doomed do you think I am?”

He blinked, then shook his head. “Considering the people used,” he said, “training is going well so far.”

“Uh huh,” I said, crossing my arms. “So how doomed am I? Not to mention the rest of the world.”

Nagato blinked again. Set down the drum. And to my amazement and mute embarrassment, he reached out his hand to pat me on the head.

“Don’t worry,” he said, his voice a careful monotone.

I feel better. I really do. Good enough to go inside and drag those troublemakers out by their ears if I have to! Let’s go!

We're almost, almost there. Someone asked for more of Kyonko's home life, and so I've provided it. ^^ What do you guys think?

Awesome, awesome... one question, though. Is WWF known well enough in Japan for Ototo to know it? Or is there a Japanese equivalent.

Also, just because I have a shoddy memory, when is this taking place timeline-wise again?

[Nanao-kun]

Originally Posted by Aebliss

Previous instalment.

Spoiler for "Suzumiya Haruki no Setsubun, part 20. Rehearsals.”:

Getting Taniguchi to join in with my ‘play’ was simplicity itself, once I’d dropped Tsuruya-san’s name. Kunikida’s agreeing to help out was practically a foregone conclusion once Taniguchi was in. Those two are really close friends, huh … And getting Tsuruya-san to agree to my unreasonable demands … was really depressingly easy.

I phoned him up after escaping from the clubroom and Haruki, while I was making my way home. Before I escaped, Haruki kept going on about neck massages being the next best thing after scalp massages for providing someone with an uninterrupted sleep, but I didn’t really feel comfortable with him going there …

“Oh, hey there, Kyon-chan!” Tsuruya-san’s voice cheerfully boomed out of my cell phone. “Nyahaha, been a while, been a while, eh? What’s up, calling me out of the blue? I’m kidding, I’m glad to hear from you, so what’s shaking?”

Me, actually. I’m getting nervous.

“Tsuruya-san,” I said. “I’d like to ask … are you very busy this Sunday? Only I’m trying to organize a play with some of the members of the SOS-dan and a few friends from my class, and we kind of need someone to –”

“Ohoho, a play?” Tsuruya-san laughed, sounding delighted. “Sounds like fun! Is this another one written by Haruki?”

“Ah, no,” I replied, as tactfully as I could. “This was written by … by someone else. It’s rather old, I’m trying to adapt it to a more modern audience.”

“That sounds like fun!” Somehow, I could just picture Tsuruya-san’s huge little boy grin. Your enthusiasm would be infectious if the circumstances were less dire, Tsuruya-san. Please keep it up.

“Could you come to my place?” I asked. “My two friends from class should already be on their way there, and the other members of the SOS-dan are bringing the … props.”

Good grief. The props. At least I didn’t have to go buy those things.

“Sure thing,” the agreeable Tsuruya-san replied. “Just tell me where to go and I’ll be there in a flash. Hey, will Mitsuuru be playing along with us?”

“No, I’m afraid not,” I replied, suppressing a wince.

Asahina-sempai had been giving me the most doleful, disappointed looks when I finally dashed out of the clubroom. I am sorry if my deciding to follow ‘superstitious fairytale rituals’ has made you lose your esteem for me, Asahina-sempai, but enough with the puppy dog looks.

“Pity,” Tsuruya-san said, sounding sincere. “He was a lot of fun to work with during the movie.”

I suppressed a very different sort of wince, and gave Tsuruya-san my home address before ending the conversation.

Well, now the long-distance communication is finished, I have to quickly get home and engage in some short-distance communication to head off trouble.

The first thing I did when arriving home after shouting a lively ‘Tadaima!’ into the living room, was run up to my bedroom to toss my schoolbag through the door. The very next thing I did was dash back downstairs and charge into the kitchen. As I had expected, my father was already there, tallying the ingredients he would need for tonight’s dinner. Have I mentioned lately how much I appreciate your thoroughness and attention to detail, not to mention your devotion to properly planning each stage of the day, dad?

“Hello to you, too,” my father replied, quirking a smile at me even as he raised an eyebrow. “What might you need today, oh eldest child?”

“Well, now that you mention it,” I said, trying my best to be as charming as I could be in the presence of one of my parents, “I’d like a hug from my favourite dad.”

Dad’s smile turned into a slightly smug grin, but he obliged me. And then he seized my shoulders, held me at arm’s length and simply said: “Out with it. What’s going on?”

I read recently in the paper that many children despair that their parents can never understand them, never see where they’re coming from, and so lose their foundation in a stressful world. Maybe you could try being oblivious sometime? Or pretend …?

“Yes, yes, daddy’s a terrible man,” my father chuckled. “Dreadfully embarrassing. Now stop stalling and tell me what’s going on, please?”

“I’ve been roped into helping my club put on a performance,” I dutifully replied, “on this Sunday. We kind of need a place to rehearse, so …”

“So your friends are coming over?” my father guessed, smiling shrewdly. “How many of them?”

“Five of them,” I admitted.

“Including that nice Suzumiya boy?” my father asked, his smile growing a little wider. “The one who brought you home on Setsubun?”

No, Haruki will definitely not be in attendance. Please don’t look so disappointed, you’re creeping me out.

“Will they be staying for dinner?” dad asked, now sounding a little distracted as he turned to his list of dinner ingredients.

I actually hope not, but my hopes have been cruelly dashed before in my young life, so why take the chance?

“I’m not sure,” I admitted, “but I don’t think it’s entirely impossible.”

“Well,” dad hesitated, tallying up our present supplies by opening the refrigerator and peering inside. “Hm. I suppose I could make dinner stretch to that many people with a bit of work… or we could just get the special ramen from the corner stall if everyone wants to stay for dinner …Or maybe the special udon …?”

I took this to mean that operation ‘get the actors into my house without being grounded’ could hereby be filed under great successes, and left my dad to puzzle his way through the dinner checklist.

While he tallied, I went hunting for my little brother, and found him sitting in his own room for a change, playing a game.

“Hey, why don’t you knock?” he complained as I burst in.

You have no right to talk, when you come and torture me out of bed every morning, you little brat!

I unceremoniously seized my brother by his wrists and ankles, thwarting a startled attempt to put me in a headlock, and lugged him over to my own room, where I kicked the door shut behind me and deposited my brother on the bed. He immediately leapt up, a big grin on his face, and tried to engage me in more wrestling manoeuvres. You can cut that out, I have something to talk to you about. Privately.

“What’s up?” he asked, looking intrigued.

“I have a job for you,” I notified him. “Be grateful; you get to give another acting performance.”

“Ooh, Haru-aniki is making another movie?” he asked brightly, a big grin appearing on his face out of nowhere.

No, no. The ultra director will not be having his hand in this production. You are currently addressing the director of the current piece.

“Eh~?” my brother said, looking at me askance. “Kyon-chan is directing? That sounds boring. I don’t think I want to play if you’re just going to direct some sappy shoujo manga play.”

Well, rest assured, little brother of mine. This will not be anything cute and mushy. Lend me your ear, and I’ll tell you about the part that has been granted down to you from on high.

My little brother listened, and his reluctant expression changed into a fresh grin. “That sounds cool!” he stated. “And we’re really doing it at your school? But aren’t they closed on Sunday?”

Just leave that to the divine preparation of your onee-chan. However, it would probably be best not to mention this to mom and dad. Ever.

My little brother started to look sly and opened his mouth, but I headed him off with a simple: “Your reward for keeping quiet is being allowed to come out and play with the SOS-dan and your big sister’s other friends. You will also get the opportunity to feast on food handcrafted by Asahina-sempai. Don’t get greedy, squirt.”

My brother giggled and agreed to my terms.

“Good,” I said. “Be ready for rehearsals in a few minutes. The first few actors should be arriving soon.”

As it turned out, the doorbell rang only a minute later, obliging me to dash down the stairs and admit none other than Taniguchi and Kunikida, the former looking a little flushed and out of breath. Did you run all the way here?

“Hello,” Kunikida said, smiling politely. “Please pardon the intrusion –”

“Is Tsuruya-sempai here yet?” Taniguchi asked, adding a belated “Hey, Kyon.”

Please feel free to enter my humble home. Also please feel free to follow me up the stairs to my bedroom, where I have copies of the relevant printouts all ready and waiting in my schoolbag, courtesy of the efforts of one Nagato Yuuki.

“Tsuruya-sempai isn’t here yet?” Taniguchi whined as soon as I set her and Kunikida up in my bedroom and put papers in their hands.

He should be here shortly. I’ll go get some tea downstairs. Feel free to start reading your part while I’m away, I don’t mind.

“Hold on just a moment,” Taniguchi protested before I could leave the room. “What’s this about these costumes? Why do I have to play – No, just forget it. You can find me some other part to play, can’t you? Where’s the rest of the script?”

“Personally, I don’t have any trouble,” Kunikida said, earning herself a surprised look from Taniguchi. “Well, it sounds interesting,” she said, smiling brightly. Perhaps even impishly. “But … are we going to perform this in front of an audience? I’m not sure I’d like that …”

“No, no,” I hastened to assure her. “Nagato-san will be videotaping the whole thing, so we can alter it as needed.”

“Come on, Kyon,” Taniguchi groaned as he looked through her part again. “Are you sure you want to go with this theme? Why not use fairies instead of –”

Ding dong, the doorbell did chime. I left the complaining Taniguchi and the surprisingly chipper Kunikida to each other’s company and dashed down to open the door. Tsuruya-san, it’s good to see you (as usual, I might say).

“Hey there, Kyon-chan!” Tsuruya-san saluted me, presenting his trademark grin, and briefly hugged me about the shoulders. “Here ya go, no visit’s complete without a little gift.”

You really didn’t have to. Is … is that a limousine, heading away from our doorstep? There’ve been too many of those lately.

My dad chose this moment to come out of the kitchen. He blinked twice at the sight of Tsuruya-san, who was pressing a small, tastefully wrapped package into my hands. Of course Tsuruya-san immediately made for him the moment he spotted dad, asking him to pardon the intrusion, shaking his hand and asking all about the house, our family, everything.

By the time I finally managed to separate the two of them and started dragging Tsuruya-san up the stairs, he had thoroughly charmed dad. All to the good, I suppose. I hoped. But I do wonder how I’m going to explain Tsuruya-san to mom tonight …

My triumphant return to my room was less than triumphant. I caught Taniguchi using one of my marker pens, trying to edit the text I’d given her and loudly arguing at Kunikida about ways to ‘improve’ the play. Put that pen down, you wench! There will be no rewrites! Fortunately, seeing Tsuruya-sempai up close and personal made Taniguchi very … pliant. By which I mean to say she instantly flushed bright red, and started to stammer about what an honour it was for her to be in the same play as he.

Tsuruya-san took to the concept of the play in a big way. He gave out a huge belly-laugh, exclaimed: “The heck? Awesome~! You actually came to me to participate in a play like this? Oh man, Suzumiya’s gonna kill you for cutting him out of this, nya ha ha~! Don’t worry, miss ultra director the second, I’ll protect ya at least until after we’ve done this thing. Oh, amazing, amazing! You need any help getting these costumes ready? I’m sure we’ve got some stuff at the house that could be made to fit …”

Tsuruya-san’s generous offer was cut off by the chiming of the doorbell. Again, I rushed downstairs to admit visitors. Just as expected, these were those reliable people known as Koizumi Itsuko and Nagato Yuuki. Come in, come in. You remember where my room is, right? Of course you do. Step right on up, I can see you’re loaded down with bags of stuff.

After admitting Itsuko and Nagato to my room, I knocked once on the door of my little brother’s bedroom. I would have knocked twice, perhaps even thrice, except he came barrelling out after the first knock, dodged me and ducked into my room after Yuuki.

Great. Enthusiasm. I mean to say: ‘Great, enthusiasm!’ Or maybe: ‘Great enthusiasm’? In any case, I followed my little brother into my room and commenced the arduous process of getting all our ducks in a row.

At a fairly early point, Tsuruya-san and Nagato had to carry my little brother out of my room and into his, carrying the boys’ uniforms while we girls put on ours. At times like these, a vanity screen would have been very welcome. Seeing as I lacked such an item, I made do with ordering everyone to turn their backs on each other while changing.

“How come you get to wear a hakama over your costume?” Taniguchi complained once we’d changed.

“That is a surprise,” Itsuko told her, winking, before I could open my mouth. “Please be patient, all shall be revealed during the actual performance.”

Hush up, you!

Once the boys were back, we compared outfits a little. Taniguchi complained that her outfit was too tight in the chest, which I personally considered to be a ridiculous lie. I notice you glancing at Tsuruya-sempai while you’re complaining, Taniguchi. You’re not fooling anyone …

“Hey, Kyon!” Taniguchi suddenly exclaimed. “Is this why you’ve been wearing that hair band for the past few days? Heh, were you in training?”

That’s more than enough out of you. Everybody into the back yard!

“I know you might not think it to look at her,” Itsuko said, smiling in a genteel fashion as we trooped down the stairs, “but she is quite the method actress.”

That’s more than enough out of you, as well. Back yard, back yard!

Dad headed us off at the backdoor, however. With his video camera.

“Oh, that looks very nice!” he complimented us, shamelessly taping us in these weird getups. “So you’re a Shinto priest, Tsuruya-kun? And Koizumi-chan and the other girls are …?”

“Dad,” I said brightly, grabbing my little brother by the shoulders and pushing him to the front of the group, “look at this!”

My little brother grinned appreciatively, hefting the special prop that Nagato and Itsuko had brought over for him. I knew it wasn’t the real thing, but it still made my blood run cold. How those two had ever managed to hunt down what looked like a complete replica of Makuro’s staff, I’ll never know. It even chimed when he moved.

“You look very tough, son!” dad complimented my little brother, obligingly filming him while he struck a pose reminiscent of a triumphant WWF wrestler. “Scary!”

“Heck yeah!” Tsuruya-san enthused. “I’d better be careful that he doesn’t kick my ass during rehearsals, or the play’s gonna be in trouble!” He laughed uproariously at that, whereas my insides were squirming like a nest of disturbed snakes. Please don’t let anyone have to bail out on me here. I’m begging you …

All in all, I suppose the first practice run wasn’t exactly terrible. Itsuko was kind enough to take over choreography, whereas Nagato pounded the ceremonial drum he’d purchased for the occasion. There’s an odd thought: Nagato buying things with money provided by Tachibana …

I was surprised to discover that Taniguchi and Kunikida moved fairly well to the music, though Taniguchi kept having to refer to her printout for her lines. They certainly did better than Itsuko, who moved a little too woodenly for my liking.

“It’s not that much of a problem though, is it?” Taniguchi said, shrugging, as I tried to get Itsuko to move a little more fluidly. “Just rewrite the script so Koizumi-san can stand still. Maybe give her more singing lines, so I can focus on dancing.”

I will ignore your words, not merely because I have come to expect that they are nonsensical and have begun to lazily discount what you say. This has more to do with my fear that rewriting the script would result in my ending my life on a bed of baby lettuce, with my hands full of roast potatoes and an apple jammed into my mouth.

The ‘duel’ between my little brother and Tsuruya-san was a sad mess. I had to stop them a goodly five times when they had just devolved into cheerfully whacking at each other with their soft weapons.

“But we’re having fun!” my little brother protested, pouting at me.

“I noticed,” I sighed, facing him with my hands on my hips. “The neighbours probably also noticed. Come on, I really, really need you to focus for me, here. This is really important to your one-chan, so will you please help me out this once?”

“But I do lots and lots of nice things for you!” my little brother protested, his expression growing stubborn. “I wake you up every morning, and that’s not easy!”

Things might have devolved into a sibling grudge match right there and then, if Tsuruya-san hadn’t stepped in.

“Hey there, little bro,” he said, ruffling my little brother’s hair. “Your sister just wants to make things look really cool. You wanna look cool, don’tcha? If you’re a man, it’s only natural for you to want to show off and have all the ladies swooning about your machismo and your cool factor.”

While my little brother didn’t seem that interested in swooning women, he definitely seemed to enjoy the idea that he’d be able to look cool.

“Well, if you want ta look cool in a movie,” Tsuruya-san continued, “you’ll want to follow the choreography! You think Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee just jump around like they’re on a trampoline, having fun? No; every battle in great movies is planned ahead, so everyone knows where they have to be when, and what they have to do once they’re there.”

The look of surprise on my little brother’s face was simply beautiful to behold. Had I been more like Nagato, I would probably have described it as ‘unique’. Since I’m me, I cursed the fact that I didn’t have my cell phone handy, which would have allowed me to take a snapshot of this occasion for my golden years.

“Alright,” Tsuruya-san concluded. “Let’s let the supreme director Kyon-chan do her thing, so she can make us look cool for the camera. Remember, little bro, rehearsals are something you take seriously so the end result makes you look like a genius!”

“Remarkable,” Itsuko remarked to me a little later, when we were all on a juice break. (My dad came out into the yard to shoot some more film and simultaneously offer us drinks.) “Truly remarkable, how the addition of Tsuruya-san to these proceedings is making them all go so very smoothly.”

I have to concur. Just one Tsuruya-san is enough to control two rambunctious idiots. Honestly forces me to admit that those same two idiots were using the juice break to vent some of their moronic energy at each other. I interfered before they could actually start duelling, using the weapons purchased for Tsuruya-san and my little brother.

“Do you think these dresses are easy to get?” I grumbled at Taniguchi as I wrested a ceremonial fan from her grip, while simultaneously pushing my little brother back with a hand on the dome of his skull. “Be a little more careful with it, alright?” Taniguchi muttered something rebellious. My little brother whacked me around the ankles with the fake staff once, which made me yelp and caused him to bolt into the house.

“Don’t worry, I’ll get him!” Tsuruya-san cheerfully offered, and jogged after the little brat. "Oh," he called back to me, "why don't you all come to my place tomorrow, so we can rehearse over there? A bit more room to move, and we won't have to worry about the neighbours minding the noise."

Maybe Taniguchi has a point, when she says that Tsuruya-san is in the A category, though our criteria are not at all the same. I have to admit, the robes of a Shinto priest suit him very well. If I met Tsuruya-san at a shrine, I … Let’s be honest, I’d be confused as to why such a cheerful, energetic person was wearing a priest’s robes.

“Wait, Tsuruya-sempai!” Taniguchi called out as she ran after our laughing senior. “I’ve been to Kyon’s house before, I’ll help you look!”

“Then I guess the break will last a little longer?” Kunikida observed, grinning as she toasted me with her bottle of juice.

From somewhere inside the house, I heard the sound of something smashing, followed by a mixture of laughter, yelling … and more running. I heaved a deep sigh and made my way over to Nagato, who had yet to put down the ceremonial drum.

“So,” I asked in a conversational tone of voice, “how badly doomed do you think I am?”

He blinked, then shook his head. “Considering the people used,” he said, “training is going well so far.”

“Uh huh,” I said, crossing my arms. “So how doomed am I? Not to mention the rest of the world.”

Nagato blinked again. Set down the drum. And to my amazement and mute embarrassment, he reached out his hand to pat me on the head.

“Don’t worry,” he said, his voice a careful monotone.

I feel better. I really do. Good enough to go inside and drag those troublemakers out by their ears if I have to! Let’s go!

We're almost, almost there. Someone asked for more of Kyonko's home life, and so I've provided it. ^^ What do you guys think?

As usual, you're writing is simply amazing. Although Nagato seemed rather talkative at the end.

Originally Posted by Roger Rambo

And Ironically I haven't even read it yet

Notes
-Ototo's wrestling obsession is going to force Kyonko to move out of the house for college if she doesn't wanna get supplexed every five minutes when her little brother gets bigger than her
-Tsuruya(M) is badass as usual
-More cock teasing with regards to the outfits for the play.

That kind of picture was something I had never considered when I saw the original.

[Ithekro]

I consider that brief scene to be something KyoAni threw in so that Kyon could get his thought in without seeming to have interrupted Haruhi's speech. Also gives her a moment of madness to play with. Because it seems like she should have just kept talking even though Kyon's thoughts interrupted her...so to make give him those three seconds to speak, they gave us this.

[otai]

Originally Posted by Aebliss

Previous instalment.

Spoiler for "Suzumiya Haruki no Setsubun, part 20. Rehearsals.”:

Getting Taniguchi to join in with my ‘play’ was simplicity itself, once I’d dropped Tsuruya-san’s name. Kunikida’s agreeing to help out was practically a foregone conclusion once Taniguchi was in. Those two are really close friends, huh … And getting Tsuruya-san to agree to my unreasonable demands … was really depressingly easy.

I phoned him up after escaping from the clubroom and Haruki, while I was making my way home. Before I escaped, Haruki kept going on about neck massages being the next best thing after scalp massages for providing someone with an uninterrupted sleep, but I didn’t really feel comfortable with him going there …

“Oh, hey there, Kyon-chan!” Tsuruya-san’s voice cheerfully boomed out of my cell phone. “Nyahaha, been a while, been a while, eh? What’s up, calling me out of the blue? I’m kidding, I’m glad to hear from you, so what’s shaking?”

Me, actually. I’m getting nervous.

“Tsuruya-san,” I said. “I’d like to ask … are you very busy this Sunday? Only I’m trying to organize a play with some of the members of the SOS-dan and a few friends from my class, and we kind of need someone to –”

“Ohoho, a play?” Tsuruya-san laughed, sounding delighted. “Sounds like fun! Is this another one written by Haruki?”

“Ah, no,” I replied, as tactfully as I could. “This was written by … by someone else. It’s rather old, I’m trying to adapt it to a more modern audience.”

“That sounds like fun!” Somehow, I could just picture Tsuruya-san’s huge little boy grin. Your enthusiasm would be infectious if the circumstances were less dire, Tsuruya-san. Please keep it up.

“Could you come to my place?” I asked. “My two friends from class should already be on their way there, and the other members of the SOS-dan are bringing the … props.”

Good grief. The props. At least I didn’t have to go buy those things.

“Sure thing,” the agreeable Tsuruya-san replied. “Just tell me where to go and I’ll be there in a flash. Hey, will Mitsuuru be playing along with us?”

“No, I’m afraid not,” I replied, suppressing a wince.

Asahina-sempai had been giving me the most doleful, disappointed looks when I finally dashed out of the clubroom. I am sorry if my deciding to follow ‘superstitious fairytale rituals’ has made you lose your esteem for me, Asahina-sempai, but enough with the puppy dog looks.

“Pity,” Tsuruya-san said, sounding sincere. “He was a lot of fun to work with during the movie.”

I suppressed a very different sort of wince, and gave Tsuruya-san my home address before ending the conversation.

Well, now the long-distance communication is finished, I have to quickly get home and engage in some short-distance communication to head off trouble.

The first thing I did when arriving home after shouting a lively ‘Tadaima!’ into the living room, was run up to my bedroom to toss my schoolbag through the door. The very next thing I did was dash back downstairs and charge into the kitchen. As I had expected, my father was already there, tallying the ingredients he would need for tonight’s dinner. Have I mentioned lately how much I appreciate your thoroughness and attention to detail, not to mention your devotion to properly planning each stage of the day, dad?

“Hello to you, too,” my father replied, quirking a smile at me even as he raised an eyebrow. “What might you need today, oh eldest child?”

“Well, now that you mention it,” I said, trying my best to be as charming as I could be in the presence of one of my parents, “I’d like a hug from my favourite dad.”

Dad’s smile turned into a slightly smug grin, but he obliged me. And then he seized my shoulders, held me at arm’s length and simply said: “Out with it. What’s going on?”

I read recently in the paper that many children despair that their parents can never understand them, never see where they’re coming from, and so lose their foundation in a stressful world. Maybe you could try being oblivious sometime? Or pretend …?

“Yes, yes, daddy’s a terrible man,” my father chuckled. “Dreadfully embarrassing. Now stop stalling and tell me what’s going on, please?”

“I’ve been roped into helping my club put on a performance,” I dutifully replied, “on this Sunday. We kind of need a place to rehearse, so …”

“So your friends are coming over?” my father guessed, smiling shrewdly. “How many of them?”

“Five of them,” I admitted.

“Including that nice Suzumiya boy?” my father asked, his smile growing a little wider. “The one who brought you home on Setsubun?”

No, Haruki will definitely not be in attendance. Please don’t look so disappointed, you’re creeping me out.

“Will they be staying for dinner?” dad asked, now sounding a little distracted as he turned to his list of dinner ingredients.

I actually hope not, but my hopes have been cruelly dashed before in my young life, so why take the chance?

“I’m not sure,” I admitted, “but I don’t think it’s entirely impossible.”

“Well,” dad hesitated, tallying up our present supplies by opening the refrigerator and peering inside. “Hm. I suppose I could make dinner stretch to that many people with a bit of work… or we could just get the special ramen from the corner stall if everyone wants to stay for dinner …Or maybe the special udon …?”

I took this to mean that operation ‘get the actors into my house without being grounded’ could hereby be filed under great successes, and left my dad to puzzle his way through the dinner checklist.

While he tallied, I went hunting for my little brother, and found him sitting in his own room for a change, playing a game.

“Hey, why don’t you knock?” he complained as I burst in.

You have no right to talk, when you come and torture me out of bed every morning, you little brat!

I unceremoniously seized my brother by his wrists and ankles, thwarting a startled attempt to put me in a headlock, and lugged him over to my own room, where I kicked the door shut behind me and deposited my brother on the bed. He immediately leapt up, a big grin on his face, and tried to engage me in more wrestling manoeuvres. You can cut that out, I have something to talk to you about. Privately.

“What’s up?” he asked, looking intrigued.

“I have a job for you,” I notified him. “Be grateful; you get to give another acting performance.”

“Ooh, Haru-aniki is making another movie?” he asked brightly, a big grin appearing on his face out of nowhere.

No, no. The ultra director will not be having his hand in this production. You are currently addressing the director of the current piece.

“Eh~?” my brother said, looking at me askance. “Kyon-chan is directing? That sounds boring. I don’t think I want to play if you’re just going to direct some sappy shoujo manga play.”

Well, rest assured, little brother of mine. This will not be anything cute and mushy. Lend me your ear, and I’ll tell you about the part that has been granted down to you from on high.

My little brother listened, and his reluctant expression changed into a fresh grin. “That sounds cool!” he stated. “And we’re really doing it at your school? But aren’t they closed on Sunday?”

Just leave that to the divine preparation of your onee-chan. However, it would probably be best not to mention this to mom and dad. Ever.

My little brother started to look sly and opened his mouth, but I headed him off with a simple: “Your reward for keeping quiet is being allowed to come out and play with the SOS-dan and your big sister’s other friends. You will also get the opportunity to feast on food handcrafted by Asahina-sempai. Don’t get greedy, squirt.”

My brother giggled and agreed to my terms.

“Good,” I said. “Be ready for rehearsals in a few minutes. The first few actors should be arriving soon.”

As it turned out, the doorbell rang only a minute later, obliging me to dash down the stairs and admit none other than Taniguchi and Kunikida, the former looking a little flushed and out of breath. Did you run all the way here?

“Hello,” Kunikida said, smiling politely. “Please pardon the intrusion –”

“Is Tsuruya-sempai here yet?” Taniguchi asked, adding a belated “Hey, Kyon.”

Please feel free to enter my humble home. Also please feel free to follow me up the stairs to my bedroom, where I have copies of the relevant printouts all ready and waiting in my schoolbag, courtesy of the efforts of one Nagato Yuuki.

“Tsuruya-sempai isn’t here yet?” Taniguchi whined as soon as I set her and Kunikida up in my bedroom and put papers in their hands.

He should be here shortly. I’ll go get some tea downstairs. Feel free to start reading your part while I’m away, I don’t mind.

“Hold on just a moment,” Taniguchi protested before I could leave the room. “What’s this about these costumes? Why do I have to play – No, just forget it. You can find me some other part to play, can’t you? Where’s the rest of the script?”

“Personally, I don’t have any trouble,” Kunikida said, earning herself a surprised look from Taniguchi. “Well, it sounds interesting,” she said, smiling brightly. Perhaps even impishly. “But … are we going to perform this in front of an audience? I’m not sure I’d like that …”

“No, no,” I hastened to assure her. “Nagato-san will be videotaping the whole thing, so we can alter it as needed.”

“Come on, Kyon,” Taniguchi groaned as she looked through her part again. “Are you sure you want to go with this theme? Why not use fairies instead of –”

Ding dong, the doorbell did chime. I left the complaining Taniguchi and the surprisingly chipper Kunikida to each other’s company and dashed down to open the door. Tsuruya-san, it’s good to see you (as usual, I might say).

“Hey there, Kyon-chan!” Tsuruya-san saluted me, presenting his trademark grin, and briefly hugged me about the shoulders. “Here ya go, no visit’s complete without a little gift.”

You really didn’t have to. Is … is that a limousine, heading away from our doorstep? There’ve been too many of those lately.

My dad chose this moment to come out of the kitchen. He blinked twice at the sight of Tsuruya-san, who was pressing a small, tastefully wrapped package into my hands. Of course Tsuruya-san immediately made for him the moment he spotted dad, asking him to pardon the intrusion, shaking his hand and asking all about the house, our family, everything.

By the time I finally managed to separate the two of them and started dragging Tsuruya-san up the stairs, he had thoroughly charmed dad. All to the good, I suppose. I hoped. But I do wonder how I’m going to explain Tsuruya-san to mom tonight …

My triumphant return to my room was less than triumphant. I caught Taniguchi using one of my marker pens, trying to edit the text I’d given her and loudly arguing at Kunikida about ways to ‘improve’ the play. Put that pen down, you wench! There will be no rewrites! Fortunately, seeing Tsuruya-sempai up close and personal made Taniguchi very … pliant. By which I mean to say she instantly flushed bright red, and started to stammer about what an honour it was for her to be in the same play as he.

Tsuruya-san took to the concept of the play in a big way. He gave out a huge belly-laugh, exclaimed: “The heck? Awesome~! You actually came to me to participate in a play like this? Oh man, Suzumiya’s gonna kill you for cutting him out of this, nya ha ha~! Don’t worry, miss ultra director the second, I’ll protect ya at least until after we’ve done this thing. Oh, amazing, amazing! You need any help getting these costumes ready? I’m sure we’ve got some stuff at the house that could be made to fit …”

Tsuruya-san’s generous offer was cut off by the chiming of the doorbell. Again, I rushed downstairs to admit visitors. Just as expected, these were those reliable people known as Koizumi Itsuko and Nagato Yuuki. Come in, come in. You remember where my room is, right? Of course you do. Step right on up, I can see you’re loaded down with bags of stuff.

After admitting Itsuko and Nagato to my room, I knocked once on the door of my little brother’s bedroom. I would have knocked twice, perhaps even thrice, except he came barrelling out after the first knock, dodged me and ducked into my room after Yuuki.

Great. Enthusiasm. I mean to say: ‘Great, enthusiasm!’ Or maybe: ‘Great enthusiasm’? In any case, I followed my little brother into my room and commenced the arduous process of getting all our ducks in a row.

At a fairly early point, Tsuruya-san and Nagato had to carry my little brother out of my room and into his, carrying the boys’ uniforms while we girls put on ours. At times like these, a vanity screen would have been very welcome. Seeing as I lacked such an item, I made do with ordering everyone to turn their backs on each other while changing.

“How come you get to wear a hakama over your costume?” Taniguchi complained once we’d changed.

“That is a surprise,” Itsuko told her, winking, before I could open my mouth. “Please be patient, all shall be revealed during the actual performance.”

Hush up, you!

Once the boys were back, we compared outfits a little. Taniguchi complained that her outfit was too tight in the chest, which I personally considered to be a ridiculous lie. I notice you glancing at Tsuruya-sempai while you’re complaining, Taniguchi. You’re not fooling anyone …

“Hey, Kyon!” Taniguchi suddenly exclaimed. “Is this why you’ve been wearing that hair band for the past few days? Heh, were you in training?”

That’s more than enough out of you. Everybody into the back yard!

“I know you might not think it to look at her,” Itsuko said, smiling in a genteel fashion as we trooped down the stairs, “but she is quite the method actress.”

That’s more than enough out of you, as well. Back yard, back yard!

Dad headed us off at the backdoor, however. With his video camera.

“Oh, that looks very nice!” he complimented us, shamelessly taping us in these weird getups. “So you’re a Shinto priest, Tsuruya-kun? And Koizumi-chan and the other girls are …?”

“Dad,” I said brightly, grabbing my little brother by the shoulders and pushing him to the front of the group, “look at this!”

My little brother grinned appreciatively, hefting the special prop that Nagato and Itsuko had brought over for him. I knew it wasn’t the real thing, but it still made my blood run cold. How those two had ever managed to hunt down what looked like a complete replica of Makuro’s staff, I’ll never know. It even chimed when he moved.

“You look very tough, son!” dad complimented my little brother, obligingly filming him while he struck a pose reminiscent of a triumphant WWF wrestler. “Scary!”

“Heck yeah!” Tsuruya-san enthused. “I’d better be careful that he doesn’t kick my ass during rehearsals, or the play’s gonna be in trouble!” He laughed uproariously at that, whereas my insides were squirming like a nest of disturbed snakes. Please don’t let anyone have to bail out on me here. I’m begging you …

All in all, I suppose the first practice run wasn’t exactly terrible. Itsuko was kind enough to take over choreography, whereas Nagato pounded the ceremonial drum he’d purchased for the occasion. There’s an odd thought: Nagato buying things with money provided by Tachibana …

I was surprised to discover that Taniguchi and Kunikida moved fairly well to the music, though Taniguchi kept having to refer to her printout for her lines. They certainly did better than Itsuko, who moved a little too woodenly for my liking.

“It’s not that much of a problem though, is it?” Taniguchi said, shrugging, as I tried to get Itsuko to move a little more fluidly. “Just rewrite the script so Koizumi-san can stand still. Maybe give her more singing lines, so I can focus on dancing.”

I will ignore your words, not merely because I have come to expect that they are nonsensical and have begun to lazily discount what you say. This has more to do with my fear that rewriting the script would result in my ending my life on a bed of baby lettuce, with my hands full of roast potatoes and an apple jammed into my mouth.

The ‘duel’ between my little brother and Tsuruya-san was a sad mess. I had to stop them a goodly five times when they had just devolved into cheerfully whacking at each other with their soft weapons.

“But we’re having fun!” my little brother protested, pouting at me.

“I noticed,” I sighed, facing him with my hands on my hips. “The neighbours probably also noticed. Come on, I really, really need you to focus for me, here. This is really important to your one-chan, so will you please help me out this once?”

“But I do lots and lots of nice things for you!” my little brother protested, his expression growing stubborn. “I wake you up every morning, and that’s not easy!”

Things might have devolved into a sibling grudge match right there and then, if Tsuruya-san hadn’t stepped in.

“Hey there, little bro,” he said, ruffling my little brother’s hair. “Your sister just wants to make things look really cool. You wanna look cool, don’tcha? If you’re a man, it’s only natural for you to want to show off and have all the ladies swooning about your machismo and your cool factor.”

While my little brother didn’t seem that interested in swooning women, he definitely seemed to enjoy the idea that he’d be able to look cool.

“Well, if you want ta look cool in a movie,” Tsuruya-san continued, “you’ll want to follow the choreography! You think Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee just jump around like they’re on a trampoline, having fun? No; every battle in great movies is planned ahead, so everyone knows where they have to be when, and what they have to do once they’re there.”

The look of surprise on my little brother’s face was simply beautiful to behold. Had I been more like Nagato, I would probably have described it as ‘unique’. Since I’m me, I cursed the fact that I didn’t have my cell phone handy, which would have allowed me to take a snapshot of this occasion for my golden years.

“Alright,” Tsuruya-san concluded. “Let’s let the supreme director Kyon-chan do her thing, so she can make us look cool for the camera. Remember, little bro, rehearsals are something you take seriously so the end result makes you look like a genius!”

“Remarkable,” Itsuko remarked to me a little later, when we were all on a juice break. (My dad came out into the yard to shoot some more film and simultaneously offer us drinks.) “Truly remarkable, how the addition of Tsuruya-san to these proceedings is making them all go so very smoothly.”

I have to concur. Just one Tsuruya-san is enough to control two rambunctious idiots. Honestly forces me to admit that those same two idiots were using the juice break to vent some of their moronic energy at each other. I interfered before they could actually start duelling, using the weapons purchased for Tsuruya-san and my little brother.

“Do you think these dresses are easy to get?” I grumbled at Taniguchi as I wrested a ceremonial fan from her grip, while simultaneously pushing my little brother back with a hand on the dome of his skull. “Be a little more careful with it, alright?” Taniguchi muttered something rebellious. My little brother whacked me around the ankles with the fake staff once, which made me yelp and caused him to bolt into the house.

“Don’t worry, I’ll get him!” Tsuruya-san cheerfully offered, and jogged after the little brat. "Oh," he called back to me, "why don't you all come to my place tomorrow, so we can rehearse over there? A bit more room to move, and we won't have to worry about the neighbours minding the noise."

Maybe Taniguchi has a point, when she says that Tsuruya-san is in the A category, though our criteria are not at all the same. I have to admit, the robes of a Shinto priest suit him very well. If I met Tsuruya-san at a shrine, I … Let’s be honest, I’d be confused as to why such a cheerful, energetic person was wearing a priest’s robes.

“Wait, Tsuruya-sempai!” Taniguchi called out as she ran after our laughing senior. “I’ve been to Kyon’s house before, I’ll help you look!”

“Then I guess the break will last a little longer?” Kunikida observed, grinning as she toasted me with her bottle of juice.

From somewhere inside the house, I heard the sound of something smashing, followed by a mixture of laughter, yelling … and more running. I heaved a deep sigh and made my way over to Nagato, who had yet to put down the ceremonial drum.

“So,” I asked in a conversational tone of voice, “how badly doomed do you think I am?”

He blinked, then shook his head. “Considering the people used,” he said, “training is going well so far.”

“Uh huh,” I said, crossing my arms. “So how doomed am I? Not to mention the rest of the world.”

Nagato blinked again. Set down the drum. And to my amazement and mute embarrassment, he reached out his hand to pat me on the head.

“Don’t worry,” he said, his voice a careful monotone.

I feel better. I really do. Good enough to go inside and drag those troublemakers out by their ears if I have to! Let’s go!

We're almost, almost there. Someone asked for more of Kyonko's home life, and so I've provided it. ^^ What do you guys think?

This is super. Every bit of this story is appreciated.

If Kyonko's dad is so giddy at the prospect of Haruki as his daughter's boyfriend, how will he feel about the super rich Tsuruya?

Kyonko's Dad: "Tsuruya? As in the Tsuruya Zaibatsu?

Tsuruya: "Ha ha ha, yes."

Kyonko's Dad: "... (bows deeply) Our family may be unworthy, but please take care of my daughter."

Kyonko : "Why do you sound like a peasant pawning off his daughter to the feudal lord as a concubine?"

[besieger]

Originally Posted by HikariNiwa

DKellis, you're back from blogging and whatever else you were doing?

Well anyway, I can't write very well. My handwriting is downright terrible.

My printing is considered good by my friends and colleagues. But all the girls I know have better hand writing than I do. D:

[Tyabann]

Should mention: I have many of the symptoms of brain cancer, and am going to see the doctor on Thursday.

So, yeah. If I'm diagnosed with anything untreatable... yeah.

[Kogetsu Shirogane]

Originally Posted by scify

Awesome, awesome... one question, though. Is WWF known well enough in Japan for Ototo to know it? Or is there a Japanese equivalent.

WWE now, and they tour various countries around the world on a yearly basis.



Anyone with sensitive eyes, please ignore my response to the following message.

Originally Posted by Kaisos Erranon

Should mention: I have many of the symptoms of brain cancer, and am going to see the doctor on Tuesday.

So, yeah. If I'm diagnosed with anything untreatable... yeah.

. . . FUCK!

*e* I mean, I seriously hope you're okay... but really, fuck. That news really sucks.

[Roger Rambo]

Originally Posted by Kaisos Erranon

Should mention: I have many of the symptoms of brain cancer, and am going to see the doctor on Tuesday.

So, yeah. If I'm diagnosed with anything untreatable... yeah.

...well fucking hell man.

Hope that turns out all right.

Originally Posted by otai

This is super. Every bit of this story is appreciated.

If Kyonko's dad is so giddy at the prospect of Haruki as his daughter's boyfriend, how will he feel about the super rich Tsuruya?

Kyonko's Dad: "Tsuruya? As in the Tsuruya Zaibatsu?

Tsuruya: "Ha ha ha, yes."

Kyonko's Dad: "... (bows deeply) Our family may be unworthy, but please take care of my daughter."

Kyonko : "Why do you sound like a peasant pawning off his daughter to the feudal lord as a concubine?"

This is incredibly hilarious.

[scify]

Originally Posted by Kaisos Erranon

Should mention: I have many of the symptoms of brain cancer, and am going to see the doctor on Tuesday.

So, yeah. If I'm diagnosed with anything untreatable... yeah.

So, umm... in the early 90s, Sailor Moon taught me that friendship and love can overcome anything. It's true, right?

... Right?

(On a more serious note... I really hope that it isn't, for both your sake and ours.)

[Aebliss]

Originally Posted by Kaisos Erranon

Should mention: I have many of the symptoms of brain cancer, and am going to see the doctor on Tuesday.

So, yeah. If I'm diagnosed with anything untreatable... yeah.

... Damn. I hope it doesn't turn out to be what it appears to be.

[wittyusername]

Originally Posted by Kaisos Erranon

Should mention: I have many of the symptoms of brain cancer, and am going to see the doctor on Tuesday.

So, yeah. If I'm diagnosed with anything untreatable... yeah.

Motherfuck.

That's horrible and shitty in ways gratuitous amounts of swearing can't fully describe, in addition to being really, really shitty.

Hopefully it's not anything that can't be treated, at the very least. If hope is the first step on the road to disappointment, maybe that road is actually fucking awesome and it just has an unfortunate name.