Infinite Stratos Character Creation and Fanfiction Discussion

[demino_hellsin]

Honestly nameless uninteresting sidecharacters making a name for themselves. The most shonen thing you could ever do with IS imo.

[wavehawk]

Originally Posted by The 48th Ronin

But nobody thought of making a gender-bend version of IS. Imagine female Ichika.

- Didn't some people already mention it some years back?

Originally Posted by NatokoMizuki

Why would people hate on it though? The girls are more characters than they are trophies in this idea

- I think that's the point. IS fandom is mixed, but there's a sizable portion that only likes it for the girls as opposed to any real story. Given that Izuru was originally a VN writer, this isn't really surprising. Usually the characters have one major story arc that touches on their personality and then they get integrated into part of the harem for the rest of the series.

Give it a shot, whether the story works or not depends on how you write it.

[SRW-Otaku]

Originally Posted by wavehawk

-

- I think that's the point. IS fandom is mixed, but there's a sizable portion that only likes it for the girls as opposed to any real story. Given that Izuru was originally a VN writer, this isn't really surprising. Usually the characters have one major story arc that touches on their personality and then they get integrated into part of the harem for the rest of the series.

Give it a shot, whether the story works or not depends on how you write it.

Yeah, I doubt that my sister actually writes that fic properly. She always talks about how to write proper characters (which I MIGHT picked up a tip or two from her), but her ideas are always relatively tame and have some pacing issues. Like this little bit that she deleted off the internet a year ago:

Spoiler for older sister's embarrassing deleted fic.:

"T-Tetsuya-san, I greatly thank you for looking after Ensign Mizuki during the Magus Incident" Fate Testarossa then bowed her head to show her gratitude towards the pilot of the Great Mazinger.
"D-Don't mention it, Testarossa-san. Nanako wasn't really troublesome. She's actually helped us alot without the help of the Exceed Kaiser."
Just then, Nanoha walked in on the two while dragging along the poor leader of Intervention Force 6.
"Fate-chan! I brought Nana-chan here!" The orange haired mage chirped happily. The moment has come, Nanako thought to herself.
"Nanoha! You've come just in time. Come, Tetsuya-san, we want you to answer one little request from a certain mage." She then walked him over to Nanako's Zetabein, which was standing in the hangar right next to the Great.
"Tetsuya-san... can you..." the young mage asked nervously, her frail body shaking with fear. Fear of rejection, perhaps. The man was taken back by this. He knows what's gonna happen. He saw what the others gone through. He might have been the world's greatest soldier, but he was also the world's most romantically uneducated person.
"Nana! I-" He isn't ready for this. It may hurt her, but she'll-
"CAN YOU PLEASE SIGN YOUR NAME ON MY ZETABEIN'S LEG?" The girl shouted.
"OH COME ON! KISS FOR PETE'S SAKE!" A certain "Commander Overgrown Tanuki"'s voice could be heard in a distance.

And that was litterally the final words in my sister's first fic. The worst friggin payoff ever. Fight together, live together and BATTLE'D THE GRANZON TOGETHER and instead of a sweet sempai-kohai ending with a pat on the head, she picked an ending that litterally banks on the fact that the female OC was a CLOSET OTAKU.
Seriously, you should wait for whatever my sister writes. It's going to be hillariously bad. Watch as Houki clumsily interpret Laura's offer of a day out as a whole day of outdoor combat or some shit like that.

[MeisterBabylon]

In all honesty I have lost interested but I just pop in and out in the chance that one day I might think of something.

But I'm an old man now and real life happened.

[S-34]

Fanfics, so fun to mess with. I'm sad though, there's no good Armored Core crossovers or even references...

[NatokoMizuki]

Originally Posted by SRW-Otaku

Yeah, I doubt that my sister actually writes that fic properly. She always talks about how to write proper characters (which I MIGHT picked up a tip or two from her), but her ideas are always relatively tame and have some pacing issues. Like this little bit that she deleted off the internet a year ago:

Spoiler for older sister's embarrassing deleted fic.:

"T-Tetsuya-san, I greatly thank you for looking after Ensign Mizuki during the Magus Incident" Fate Testarossa then bowed her head to show her gratitude towards the pilot of the Great Mazinger.
"D-Don't mention it, Testarossa-san. Nanako wasn't really troublesome. She's actually helped us alot without the help of the Exceed Kaiser."
Just then, Nanoha walked in on the two while dragging along the poor leader of Intervention Force 6.
"Fate-chan! I brought Nana-chan here!" The orange haired mage chirped happily. The moment has come, Nanako thought to herself.
"Nanoha! You've come just in time. Come, Tetsuya-san, we want you to answer one little request from a certain mage." She then walked him over to Nanako's Zetabein, which was standing in the hangar right next to the Great.
"Tetsuya-san... can you..." the young mage asked nervously, her frail body shaking with fear. Fear of rejection, perhaps. The man was taken back by this. He knows what's gonna happen. He saw what the others gone through. He might have been the world's greatest soldier, but he was also the world's most romantically uneducated person.
"Nana! I-" He isn't ready for this. It may hurt her, but she'll-
"CAN YOU PLEASE SIGN YOUR NAME ON MY ZETABEIN'S LEG?" The girl shouted.
"OH COME ON! KISS FOR PETE'S SAKE!" A certain "Commander Overgrown Tanuki"'s voice could be heard in a distance.

And that was litterally the final words in my sister's first fic. The worst friggin payoff ever. Fight together, live together and BATTLE'D THE GRANZON TOGETHER and instead of a sweet sempai-kohai ending with a pat on the head, she picked an ending that litterally banks on the fact that the female OC was a CLOSET OTAKU.
Seriously, you should wait for whatever my sister writes. It's going to be hillariously bad. Watch as Houki clumsily interpret Laura's offer of a day out as a whole day of outdoor combat or some shit like that.

...My dear silly little brother, we need to talk...
Not everything has to be obvious, shove-into-face. That's like treating the audience like retards. I know that it isn't what you wanted, but the readers aren't you. So people will fill offended because their intelligent is downplayed with obvious I-feed-you-eat cliches. Why the heck did I have to leave so early...I have so much other things to teach you, including the "Ignore people who are intentionally trying to get a reaction from you just for giggles"

[DarkJak2050]

Well...

Valentine's Day is this weekend, anyone doing a 1-shot for the occasion?

[wavehawk]

Originally Posted by SRW-Otaku

Yeah, I doubt that my sister actually writes that fic properly.

- It could use some work, but it's not as bad as some stuff I've had to sit through. DON'T ASK.

Keep in mind though that I'm not a huge SRW fan so it probably doesn't irk me. Also, that's just a small segment of a greater fic. I haven't seen the whole of it so judging a whole piece on one segment isn't exactly fair.

Originally Posted by DarkJak2050

Well...

Valentine's Day is this weekend, anyone doing a 1-shot for the occasion?

- Don't remind me. I'm still not finished from the one shot from last year.

[lovetospoon73]

If a valentine fan fic was written my guesses will happen in r:
• the young orimura boy will get chocolate from almost everyone in ISA, because he's the only dude there
• violent battle between the girls
• perverted tactics

[blitz1/2]

Originally Posted by DarkJak2050

Well...

Valentine's Day is this weekend, anyone doing a 1-shot for the occasion?

I want Tempest to return to write a ChifuyuXIchika oneshot or even MadokaXIchika valentines oneshot.

[lovetospoon73]

Originally Posted by blitz1/2

I want Tempest to return to write a ChifuyuXIchika oneshot or even MadokaXIchika valentines oneshot.

Well make sense chifuyu is scared that ichika might leave her & end up alone for the rest of her life

[NatokoMizuki]

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/1178438...finite-Stratos
...please read & comment...
It's bad, isn't it?

[demino_hellsin]

Nope nope nope nope nope nope

*insert ejector seat GIF*

[NatokoMizuki]

Originally Posted by demino_hellsin

Nope nope nope nope nope nope

*insert ejector seat GIF*

I knew it...
Welp, back to the lab trying to revive my daughter and whipping her clone.

[wavehawk]

Originally Posted by NatokoMizuki

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/1178438...finite-Stratos
...please read & comment...
It's bad, isn't it?

- First off, you're using too much material from the original LN. That's not bad in itself but if it's too close--almost word for word--it doesn't really bring anything new to the table. If you're trying to make it more of a focus on Houki's point of view, you could try and change the pace. Keep the same dialogue but with a different angle/point of view. Houki is not Ichika and her thought process is not the same. What Ichika would find confusing or amusing Houki would be really annoyed with or just mentally shut out or ignore.

Even try expressing it with internal dialogue. act out the characters in your head, that's probably the best way--lots of times I've wanted to write a conversation between characters that fell flat because the characters realistically would not speak to each other that way.

Also, I usually encourage people to read more novels--EG real novels, or even proper english language science fiction novels. I know how the translated Japanese LNs come across, and I wish more people would try to write novels in english the way an english language story is written, as opposed to trying to use the same style as a Japanese light novel. Get into the habit of writing it properly.

[demino_hellsin]

Literally the first word threw me off.

Screaming CHESTO! In a giant voice as implied by the battle scene. The succeeding sentences tell me its a serious fight. And it's either a mistake on the writer's part, a mistake on my understanding, or a really funky quirk that a kendo practitioner is screaming a karate battle cry.

[NatokoMizuki]

Originally Posted by wavehawk

- First off, you're using too much material from the original LN. That's not bad in itself but if it's too close--almost word for word--it doesn't really bring anything new to the table. If you're trying to make it more of a focus on Houki's point of view, you could try and change the pace. Keep the same dialogue but with a different angle/point of view. Houki is not Ichika and her thought process is not the same. What Ichika would find confusing or amusing Houki would be really annoyed with or just mentally shut out or ignore.

Even try expressing it with internal dialogue. act out the characters in your head, that's probably the best way--lots of times I've wanted to write a conversation between characters that fell flat because the characters realistically would not speak to each other that way.

Also, I usually encourage people to read more novels--EG real novels, or even proper english language science fiction novels. I know how the translated Japanese LNs come across, and I wish more people would try to write novels in english the way an english language story is written, as opposed to trying to use the same style as a Japanese light novel. Get into the habit of writing it properly.

OK. I'll try... I thought that the readers might need to be familiarized slowly, with the first chapter being a slow transition towards the newer materials (Ex. Episode VII). I guess that it really doesn't work that well in a non-visual medium.

I may need to consult with my younger brother a bit. He read a couple of Sci-fi novels like Twenty Thousands Leagues Under The Sea, so I think it would be safe to assume he's more well-versed in that than me...

To think that I'm relying on my Super Robot otaku brother for writing something...

[NatokoMizuki]

Originally Posted by demino_hellsin

Literally the first word threw me off.

Screaming CHESTO! In a giant voice as implied by the battle scene. The succeeding sentences tell me its a serious fight. And it's either a mistake on the writer's part, a mistake on my understanding, or a really funky quirk that a kendo practitioner is screaming a karate battle cry.

I don't know much about kendo, so I asked my brother. He told me to throw that in. Is there a more appropriate battle cry?

[wavehawk]

Suggestion: Try reading more current novels. Doesn't necessarily have to be Sci-Fi; even normal Romance?Fantasy?Mystery novels would be good. Twenty Thousand Leagues is a fantastic story but it's also pretty dated in terms of language use.

Find a book that you find interesting. Even moreso if you like the style that the author uses to write--that's very important. Try to learn how writers use words to put the picture or scene in your head--I've posted about it before: Tom Clancy's characters are more two-dimensional than a paper sheet, but the man is fantastic at military tech and detail. Matthew Reilly tends to be very over-the-top with his characters in writing, but that's why his novels feel like hollywood blockbusters when you read them, etc etc. Take in and accept what you find useful, discard what is not.

Personally I try not to make things too over the top (unless I'm writing screwball comedy), so I don't really connect well with stories being too grandiose or cliche. On the other hand i've been crticized for having boring stories and too much focus on characters so that's my fault. Still, I personally don't think it's wrong to focus on characters---it doesn't matter how great your story is if your readers can't relate with or connect to your characters.

[demino_hellsin]

You don't need a battle cry in actual combat as far as I'm concerned but generally they scream "MEN!"

Though with kendo its more of a declaration of where you hit with your shinai so there's a whole plethora of things they shout out when attacking during formal kendo. CHESTO could be one of them but I personally find it difficult to take anything seriously or intriguing when it's not used for comic relief or karate.