Dating

[anti-random]

Knowing how to ask a girl is easy. Making a move on the girl is easy also, but getting past the parents is the predicament. Any ideas?

[TakutoKun]

Originally Posted by Marina

You know, she also may laugh because it's the only thing she feels would be appropriate as a reaction to your perverted jokes. I know if a strange guy who sat next to me in class was talking like that, I would find it immature and awkward...but wouldn't want to hurt his feelings if he seemed to generally be "a nice guy with rude tendencies." I'd be careful since you could seriously label yourself as her 5th period stalker.

Why exactly do you feel the need to make jokes like that around her? I'm honestly curious since you mentioned not knowing "which buttons to push." You don't necessarily need to push any buttons...just gently nudge awareness in an attractive way.

Sounds like excellent advice to me.. and from a girl... :P

[Zero Shinohara]

Knowing how to ask a girl is easy. Making a move on the girl is easy also, but getting past the parents is the predicament. Any ideas?

Buy her dad a lawn mower. It always works, guaranteed.

Seriously, though, I think that no matter who you are, you're gonna have a hard time going past the parent barrier. After all, you're an unknown who's been going out and spending time with their beloved daughter. Any normal parent would have his senses at the maximum level. But perhaps >taking< the initial step in wanting to meet them would be a good idea, since it shows that you don't have a reason to hide from them. Being polite and understanding should help as well.

@Mr.Incest:

Well, I'm not one to have the right to give you much advice since I rarely talk to anyone nowadays. But back in the days, I'd have a strict policy of never saying perverted or dirty things around women, >especially< a girl I liked. Even among my close female friends, I'd do my best to never act in an offensive way or use offensive language... first off because I'm an old-style gentleman, secondly because I think girls should keep a pure heart. But I had a strange upbringing, so I might be an exception to the norm. Still, being polite is always better.

That being said, I also agree that jumping in and asking her out would be a bad idea. Perhaps a while after you have a change of attitude and a change of topic whenever talking to her, that would be fine. It could also work as a way of showing her you've matured a bit, even if on the inside you still wanna go Superbad on her.

[Dkong1026]

My opinion on dating- screw it.

I have enough crap going on in my own life to have to worry about someone else. Plus most girls at my school are really superficial and just not worth ANYONE's time.

[Shinoto]

I just wanted to post this

For every guy just trying to find a girl to get laid
There will be a girl just playing games with a guy

It pretty much...Not every guy is going to be honest and up front. Just because he is nice now, doesn't mean he wll be the same in a week or two...or after he gets what he wants.
Dont waste your time

And if that girl is deciding to play games like...I like you, but dont want to go out with, just friends, I like you, but I like someone else...blah blah. Pretty much spreading thier opitions before thier make that decision(See how good she can do without losing that safety net)
Dont waste your time

[psycho bolt]

Originally Posted by Dkong1026

My opinion on dating- screw it.

I have enough crap going on in my own life to have to worry about someone else. Plus most girls at my school are really superficial and just not worth ANYONE's time.

You are quite young and will think that way at first, but then later you'll see that dating is a lot fun. Especially if you and she are good for each other.

[aki/kaze/shi]

He he, I don't really like dating, but I don't like socializing with people because they all think I'm weird and shouldn't be talked to.^^' But I do like having someone, it makes me happy. But I don't really like it now.^^' There's someone I really like, actually love, but since I'm not allowed to be with him anymore, for awhile it seems -.-, I've sorta not wanted to with anyone else and would like that to be for awhile.

I always get nervous saying this stuff.^^' So it hardly makes sense. He he..he he he..^^' I'd like to date someone though, because for a reason, but I just can't really fall for anyone else. Well, it'll take two years. Or more. o_O And friends can get annoying at that. -.-'

[Marina]

I kinda wish there was someone here that would promote us to act like in Densha Otoko A guy who is hopeless and meets THE girl and we all help him win her heart. To believe that something like that actually happened! But yes, I am a girl who likes to give advice on love troubles, one because I am currently in a happy long-term relationship and two because many of my closest friends are guys and three because I'm a girl...so if guys have any female confusions: ask away!

[psycho bolt]

Originally Posted by Marina

I kinda wish there was someone here that would promote us to act like in Densha Otoko A guy who is hopeless and meets THE girl and we all help him win her heart. To believe that something like that actually happened! But yes, I am a girl who likes to give advice on love troubles, one because I am currently in a happy long-term relationship and two because many of my closest friends are guys and three because I'm a girl...so if guys have any female confusions: ask away!

Me too, I also like to give advice. Even though I'm not in a relationship it's because I get super excited on people seeking love. BTW, I'm a guy.

[Dkong1026]

Ok well I just have a dilemma.

The only "relationship" I've ever had was a lame 8-9 month on and off kinda thing with a girl in 8th grade. We didn't really get past kissing on the cheek (sad, but whatever, it was all we were comfortable with).... Even on the communication end of things we didn't get very far. We just talked about menial crap in our lives.


Now I'm a junior in HS and that's still the only relationship I've ever had. Now even some of my fellow geeky friends are starting to get into relationships and junk. I just feel in limbo.
Honestly, I have yet to meet THE girl (or even anything close)....so I'm not exactly interested in anyone at school. But then there's crap like homecoming, prom, winter formal, etc, that I just end up not going to because I have no date. Again, seeing as I really don't have any romantic interest in any girls at school, I don't beat myself up over it....

But I just can't help feeling that I will more likely than not be "coming up short" for the fact that the farthest I've gone is a kiss on the cheek. I realize I have a year and 3/4 of HS left, so stuff could still happen...but if my life continues as it has been, it's unlikely that anything will happen.
And as I don't drink, smoke, do drugs, go to the major drinking parties, the odds of any one night flings are basically out the window.


All in all, I just feel like I'm in limbo because I have no actual target. No girl I really want.......yet if you NEVER have a gf in HS that is just lame and it would make college relationships 10x harder because of a lack of experience.


So I guess I really can't be asking for advice, because my only 2 options are (as I see it):
- start drinking and partying to pick up chicks
- feign interest in a girl to start a relationship

I don't want to do either.

Blarg, I'm just confused.

I guess what it comes down to is that I just don't have an interest in dating anyone at the moment, and I'm ok with that....but since it just feels so awkward and the total opposite of what society deems is normal, so I feel kinda bad about it.


So what would you do in my situation?

[Reno]

Is it lame then? I'm at college now and I've NEVER had a girlfreind. There was this girl who I... hold on have I already said this? *Looks back a few pages.* No I haven't.... haha but I did say I've never had a girlfiend. Anyway, there was this girl I fancied since year 8 but never spoke to. I had a feeling she really didn't like me, because year 8 was the year I... "went along with the crowd." You know, breaking school rules cos it's fun.

Then in year 9 I didn't have any classes with her.... which was a relief. Course I still saw her around school, and constantly avoided eye-contact. By the time year 10 arrived, and I was having classes with her again, I realized I was SCARED of her. Sort of. I wished I could either never see her again or SOMEHOW manage to talk to her, which is 10 times harder when you have asperges. I even started to fantasize conversations... very sad I know. I was getting kinda depessed. I tried my best to... "act normal". If you know this situation you know you end up doing the complete opposite, and she obviously thought I was the weirdest person ever.

So that's it really.... wow, I didn't plan to tell this story. O_o Sometimes I wander if I CAN find someone else, but it's so HARD to let go, and forget about her.

[Marina]

Originally Posted by Dkong1026

Ok well I just have a dilemma.

The only "relationship" I've ever had was a lame 8-9 month on and off kinda thing with a girl in 8th grade. We didn't really get past kissing on the cheek (sad, but whatever, it was all we were comfortable with).... Even on the communication end of things we didn't get very far. We just talked about menial crap in our lives.


Now I'm a junior in HS and that's still the only relationship I've ever had. Now even some of my fellow geeky friends are starting to get into relationships and junk. I just feel in limbo.
Honestly, I have yet to meet THE girl (or even anything close)....so I'm not exactly interested in anyone at school. But then there's crap like homecoming, prom, winter formal, etc, that I just end up not going to because I have no date. Again, seeing as I really don't have any romantic interest in any girls at school, I don't beat myself up over it....

But I just can't help feeling that I will more likely than not be "coming up short" for the fact that the farthest I've gone is a kiss on the cheek. I realize I have a year and 3/4 of HS left, so stuff could still happen...but if my life continues as it has been, it's unlikely that anything will happen.
And as I don't drink, smoke, do drugs, go to the major drinking parties, the odds of any one night flings are basically out the window.


All in all, I just feel like I'm in limbo because I have no actual target. No girl I really want.......yet if you NEVER have a gf in HS that is just lame and it would make college relationships 10x harder because of a lack of experience.


So I guess I really can't be asking for advice, because my only 2 options are (as I see it):
- start drinking and partying to pick up chicks
- feign interest in a girl to start a relationship

I don't want to do either.

Blarg, I'm just confused.

I guess what it comes down to is that I just don't have an interest in dating anyone at the moment, and I'm ok with that....but since it just feels so awkward and the total opposite of what society deems is normal, so I feel kinda bad about it.


So what would you do in my situation?

Ok, first off, you are completely wrong. Having had relationships in highschool have nothing to do with future relationships in college or beyond. I didn't have a boyfriend until my senior year of highschool, and even then, it was a meaningless one that stemmed from pure curiosity. I definitely didn't learn anything from that relationship. Worried about prom, ball, homecoming? Don't be. What's wrong w/ going with just a friend. I went to my homecoming my junior year with my best guy friend and it was more fun than the prom I went to my senior year with my alleged 'boyfriend'.
College is a place where you can restart, open a new chapter you may say. No one has ideas on who you might be since they didn't grow up with you in the same school your entire life. College students don't remember when you wore glasses or had braces for 3 years. They don't know any embarassing stories. I thought I wasn't pretty because I didn't have many relationships in highschool, but when I hit college, it was very hard actually turning people down. Plus, take your time. You don't want to regret anything in your past, so I would just focus on having fun with school while you're young and concentrate on what you want to do with the future: i.e. college or any other dream. Don't let want or lack of a relationship steer your path.

This can include you too, Reno. Trust me, there are LOTS of fish in the bowl....and bowls connect to other bowls: all of various sizes. As much in love with my boyfriend as I am now, I still understand that if I didn't know him, or something happened and I moved somewhere else, I can guarantee you that there would be someone who would catch my eye. But it's not like you have to look, just wait, and if it happens, it happens...if it doesn't, then someone else better is probably coming along and you should just wait for it.

[Jazzrat]

Oddly enough i never really made much effort for the girls, usually end up dating the ones that confess/made a move on me first.

I m usually too shy or too thick to realize my own feelings for the opposite sex. Maybe i m a guy version of tsundere?

[psycho bolt]

Originally Posted by Reno

Is it lame then? I'm at college now and I've NEVER had a girlfreind. There was this girl who I... hold on have I already said this? *Looks back a few pages.* No I haven't.... haha but I did say I've never had a girlfiend. Anyway, there was this girl I fancied since year 8 but never spoke to. I had a feeling she really didn't like me, because year 8 was the year I... "went along with the crowd." You know, breaking school rules cos it's fun.

Then in year 9 I didn't have any classes with her.... which was a relief. Course I still saw her around school, and constantly avoided eye-contact. By the time year 10 arrived, and I was having classes with her again, I realized I was SCARED of her. Sort of. I wished I could either never see her again or SOMEHOW manage to talk to her, which is 10 times harder when you have asperges. I even started to fantasize conversations... very sad I know. I was getting kinda depessed. I tried my best to... "act normal". If you know this situation you know you end up doing the complete opposite, and she obviously thought I was the weirdest person ever.

So that's it really.... wow, I didn't plan to tell this story. O_o Sometimes I wander if I CAN find someone else, but it's so HARD to let go, and forget about her.

Haha, same here man. I just recently found out she is going to the same college as me. It scared the shit outta me when I saw her walking to class. I had to hide under a bush.

[Reno]

Originally Posted by psycho bolt

Haha, same here man. I just recently found out she is going to the same college as me. It scared the shit outta me when I saw her walking to class. I had to hide under a bush.

Omg no way!!

[Reno]

Oh yeah and Marina.

Originally Posted by Marina

You know, she also may laugh because it's the only thing she feels would be appropriate as a reaction to your perverted jokes. I know if a strange guy who sat next to me in class was talking like that, I would find it immature and awkward...but wouldn't want to hurt his feelings if he seemed to generally be "a nice guy with rude tendencies."

To be honest I don't think that's a good idea. I know I'd hate it. Because if they might find out after ages (whatever it may be) the person's feelings might be hurt even more, when all along they thought it was ok.

[Marina]

Originally Posted by Reno

Oh yeah and Marina.



To be honest I don't think that's a good idea. I know I'd hate it. Because if they might find out after ages (whatever it may be) the person's feelings might be hurt even more, when all along they thought it was ok.

I think you quoted the wrong quote... or perhaps you did quote the right one, and if so, it's not like I wouldn't say anything. I'd just try to relate to him that what he was doing was inappropriate without being mean about it.

[Nintendo]

sometimes you have to just bite your lip, walk to the person you like and start a convo.

i try it, but then always say its a waste of time and never do it lol.

[aki/kaze/shi]

Un, I actually find it easy to say to someone my feelings.^^' But most of the time, they think I'm joking. Which can be good. Sometimes. XD Although, it only happened once. I did go out with two other guys, but somehow broke ones heart and everyone laughed at him, and the other I just began to dislike.^^' But I sorta hate people, and am not used to having friends or anything now. Eheh, but I thought that maybe I could try to find someone again, but it just doesn't seem to be me. So I guess I'll just remain with feelings towards one person until someone can cross the border line. (or something.^^' It was something my mom read to me that fit me. And I can't remember it.)

Heh, but I'm still just a kid. And the type who doesn't change easily. So, yeah.^^' Who woulda thought the first girl to hit puberty in her grade would be like this. XD Aw well.^^'

[Dkong1026]

Marina- thanks for that bit of insight. That helped a lot, actually. .

Originally Posted by Earth_Wyrm

0_o
Oh well, when I do occasionally attract the attention of a member of the opposite sex, they almost universally turn out to be the stalker type.

Dang man. That's pretty hardcore. One girl did that to me in 2nd or 3rd grade but that's about it .