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Old 2008-11-02, 18:19   Link #10481
Satashi
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DezoPenguin View Post
Isn't this Part 23?

Anyway, this was interesting...I'm not sure where you're going to take this, but Vivio's starting to wander into that dangerous territory where she's being inviting and repelling at the same time and Syn's having trouble figuring out where the lines are (actually, it's a lot like Nanoha and Fate in Saved by the Bell, but they were teenagers while Vivio and Syn are adults and that means a completely different set of default assumptions). Of course, as far as I can tell from the backstory, this is basically Vivio's first real romantic relationship, so she's probably not quite aware of what she's doing (y'know, it's entirely possible that she's got a few odd assumptions about how relationships work because of her job, even though she knows that what she's presenting is artifical for the viewing of the audience there's still the issue that she knows that this is the kind of thing that her audience--i.e. "the people out there in the world"--want to see).

I have no idea if you're actually setting it up to go there, but if Syn finds out Vivio's career on her own before they sleep together (as opposed to Vivio telling her because she wants them to sleep together and wants to offer full disclosure as an honest girlfriend) then there's a chance for a really, really huge fight given how in the last few chapters Vi's been willing to tease Syn up to a point then suddenly draw a line in the sand (rather than tell Syn up front that she's not comfortable going past a certain point). I can see Syn utterly exploding at the idea that Vi's willing to perform sexual acts on camera with fellow professionals but keeps cutting her girlfriend off at the pass (okay, bad pun...); indeed, if Syn wants to see Vivio walk around topless (and bottomless, and...) she can hop onto the Internet and see it 24/7.

Of course, Vivio's reasoning for holding off on sex is completely understandable; to her it's a job and basically devoid of any emotional content, so she wants to build emotional intimacy between the two of them to give the act meaning, because she doesn't want sex with Syn to be just another mechanical act. That, too, is probably part of why she's getting so involved in the buildup. But if Syn doesn't recognize that at first, then...yeah, it could get very bad before it gets good. If it gets good; that's the kind of fight which could end things, since Syn would also have a solid chunk of "you didn't tell me something this important?!?" as a trust issue on top of everything else. The line, "What did you do, pick me up so you could pretend to be normal?" springs to mind...

Anyway, the fact that all these thoughts keep coming to mind is definitely a good thing for the story! Please keep it coming!
Fixed numbering mix-up.

And it's always really nice to see a reply like this ^_^ Having someone pick out parts of it and say what they're thinking is the best type of thing to read. I'm glad that Vivio's mixed up "Do this, don't do that" thinking is able to be seen. I didn't know if people would catch it or not, how she shamelessly does something then abruptly goes "no" after leading up to it.

Syn's getting mixed signals but she is just thinking that Vivio is holding off for the sake of enjoying the feeling of the build up (which is true). Although she openly wants a physical relationship (she is mature enough to understand it, being making it on her own for years now), she still respects Vivio's desire to hold on it a while. As you have already assumed, depending on when and how her discovery of Vivio's job is, could be deadly.

That post made me happy ^^ I can't wait to write some more on it.
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Old 2008-11-02, 19:16   Link #10482
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Spoiler for Chapter 2:


Spoiler for Mini series:


The mini series is something new and non-combat, well...most of the time . It takes place during the original and A's series.
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Old 2008-11-02, 19:31   Link #10483
Satashi
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Spoiler for Previously...:
Spoiler for PornStar!Vivio pt.24:

Last edited by Satashi; 2008-11-02 at 20:38.
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Old 2008-11-02, 19:39   Link #10484
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I'm working on a Lutecia/Vivio one-shot, two years after Never Been Kissed. At the moment it might shape up into a 3 chapter fic... I've titled it Tick Tock Time, unless anyone else has a better suggestion.
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Old 2008-11-02, 20:11   Link #10485
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
Well.

Between my latest fixation with Chrono Crusade and the vicious Lutecia/Vivio plotbunnies attacking me, I might just be able to dish out another one-shot on these two. Though they'll be older than they were in Never Been Kissed...
Tragedy...please don't do it. Unless it's like a really epic crossover...that ends happily. But who would be Chrono?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Satashi View Post
Spoiler for PornStar!Vivio pt.23:
I wonder how late is later.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TerranReaper View Post
Spoiler for Chapter 2:


Spoiler for Mini series:


The mini series is something new and non-combat, well...most of the time . It takes place during the original and A's series.
Ok not bad of a chapter. Though you have Nanoha's attacks messed up. It's either Divine Buster or Starlight Breaker, not Starlight Buster. I wonder who those Feinds really are. Also the ending was way to random. Seriously, you need some sort of build up or a better reason for him to take the BoD.

Regarding the Mini Series: You might want to establish some things about the AU, like magic no magic. Umm where's Fate? It also seemed rushed, and really random. Like what was that thing about porn? and Michael Jackson?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Satashi View Post
Spoiler for (chatroom interactive votes)PornStar!Vivio pt.24:
Haha Syn. It's nice to see them just play around like kids, and have a friend like relationship instead of a romantic one sometimes.
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Old 2008-11-02, 20:17   Link #10486
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@Satashi:

Backlog Breaker on Pornstar Vivio lol

Sorry, wasn't able to post reviews lately

The Story is taking an interesting way, I think that the relation Vivio x Syn is going in a nice way... for now, we still don't know the reaction of Syn when she discovers... yeah, you know

But, I'm gonna be honest in one detail, the chat room (chapter 18/19 I think ) I didn't liked it, I didn't liked the questions, I didn't liked the answers, they were moving the story in a very diferent way from were the previus chapters were leading, I'm not telling you to don't do it again, I'm sure that many people liked it but I'm sure you'll be more happy if I'm honest with you better that if I lie to you and say that I liked it

But well, I was happy to see that the next chapters were returning to what I have liked of this fic so far, the relationship of Vivio and Syn and their feelings about the things who surrounds them

Choose on previus chapter: B
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Old 2008-11-02, 20:19   Link #10487
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Quote:
Originally Posted by markesellus View Post
Tragedy...please don't do it. Unless it's like a really epic crossover...that ends happily. But who would be Chrono?
It's not really a crossover; it's my own theory on the Saint Armor and it's effects on Vivio, with a few themes and ideas from Chrono Crusade thrown in. Basically put, Vivio is the equivalent of Chrono and Lutecia is the equivalent of Rosette.
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Old 2008-11-02, 20:24   Link #10488
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Quote:
Ok not bad of a chapter. Though you have Nanoha's attacks messed up. It's either Divine Buster or Starlight Breaker, not Starlight Buster. I wonder who those Feinds really are. Also the ending was way to random. Seriously, you need some sort of build up or a better reason for him to take the BoD.

Regarding the Mini Series: You might want to establish some things about the AU, like magic no magic. Umm where's Fate? It also seemed rushed, and really random. Like what was that thing about porn? and Michael Jackson?
Hang on, it shall be revealed...slowly...can't rush now, can't I?
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Old 2008-11-02, 20:57   Link #10489
Satashi
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Evil Rick View Post
@Satashi:

Backlog Breaker on Pornstar Vivio lol

Sorry, wasn't able to post reviews lately

The Story is taking an interesting way, I think that the relation Vivio x Syn is going in a nice way... for now, we still don't know the reaction of Syn when she discovers... yeah, you know

But, I'm gonna be honest in one detail, the chat room (chapter 18/19 I think ) I didn't liked it, I didn't liked the questions, I didn't liked the answers, they were moving the story in a very diferent way from were the previus chapters were leading, I'm not telling you to don't do it again, I'm sure that many people liked it but I'm sure you'll be more happy if I'm honest with you better that if I lie to you and say that I liked it

But well, I was happy to see that the next chapters were returning to what I have liked of this fic so far, the relationship of Vivio and Syn and their feelings about the things who surrounds them

Choose on previous chapter: B
Well, the Video Diary is just an interactive aspect of the story, since people seem to like being able to guide the story or be part of it in some way. All the questions were asked by people here at AnimeSuki, as well as on the chat room (speaking of, why don't you drop by sometime, Rick?).

Also the thing about the diaries is that it gives a more insightful look on Vivio and how she sees her life. The girl isn't effected at all by her job, and is casual about it for the most part. Although, by itself, it can be a perverted look on her job, it can also be a more detailed view on her character. She easily answerers questions about her sex life to her fans, but when she's around Syn, she gets all shy and playful and smiles a lot. To her fans, she shows herself naked but when it's Syn, she attempts to do so, but ends up covering herself in some way.

Vivio is struggling, even if she herself can't recognize it. She tries to be casual and to please Syn but always seems to back out at the last moment without really meaning to. It just shows that she views Syn differently, she just needs to realize that.

Also, part 24 of PS!Vivio has been updated, so please check it. I edited my earlier post with more content!
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Old 2008-11-02, 21:03   Link #10490
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Satashi View Post

That post made me happy ^^ I can't wait to write some more on it.
You're welcome. I think I speak for pretty much everyone when I say that I can't wait to read more on it...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Satashi View Post
Spoiler for Previously...:
Spoiler for PornStar!Vivio pt.24:
And conveniently, there it is to be read! Cute stuff, with the girls just playing around and having fun together. Getting chilled and wet can't be good for Vivio's cold, though...I notice, though, she hasn't been sneezing much around Syn? Did she finally get around to taking her medication to reduce the symptoms?

Quote:
Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
I'm working on a Lutecia/Vivio one-shot, two years after Never Been Kissed. At the moment it might shape up into a 3 chapter fic... I've titled it Tick Tock Time, unless anyone else has a better suggestion.
Can't really suggest anything without knowing what it's about? From the name, it sounds like it's got the girls wondering what to do about the age difference problem...

Quote:
Originally Posted by markesellus View Post

Haha Syn. It's nice to see them just play around like kids, and have a friend like relationship instead of a romantic one sometimes.
The way I see it, if you and your significant other aren't friends, you don't have much of a relationship. Of course, that friendship might come after the romantic part begins (it did for me), but even so...it's definitely a good sign to see them laughing and having silly fun together. Plus it makes for a nice breather from the more tense issues from earlier.
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Old 2008-11-02, 21:03   Link #10491
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OMG!!!! Allquall updated! =hugs= I love you so~~~~

Quote:
Originally Posted by Allquall View Post
The Name of War
Chapter Ten: Reaping the Whirlwind
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4380342/10/
*reads it*

...omg I hate you. Stupid cliffhangers. Update again soon. ._.
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Old 2008-11-02, 21:28   Link #10492
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DezoPenguin View Post
Can't really suggest anything without knowing what it's about? From the name, it sounds like it's got the girls wondering what to do about the age difference problem...
Damn you and your logic!

>__>

<__<

Okay, I'll try to explain as best I can without confusing anyone... hopefully.

Now, I've always considered Vivio wielding the Saint's Armor as her strongest form; however, due to the Booster of the Armor, she could never use that power because it could kill her. In my fic, Vivio is still capable of doing magic; she just can never reach her full potential because she can't wield the Saint's Armor.

This is where Chrono Crusade kicks in.

Lutecia has this locket, which is really a Lost Logia. It's basically a wristwatch in a locket, and it acts as a seal. See, the idea is that two people form a contract, and for one person to use their full power they must feed on the other's soul, thus shortening their lifespan.

This is the contract between Lutecia and Vivio. When Lutecia releases the seal, Vivio can successfully wield the Saint's Armor, but doing so forces her to rely on Lutecia's soul and shortens her lifespan.

Hence, Tick Tock Time.

...

If it's horrible, please tell me now. And I'll drop it to write another Lutecia/Vivio plotbunny that's harassing me.
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Old 2008-11-02, 22:02   Link #10493
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Sorry, too lazy to find Part 8. But...

Spoiler for Last time, on Q!F...:

Spoiler for Quack Fate! Part 9:
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Old 2008-11-02, 22:43   Link #10494
Vivio Testarossa
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Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
Damn you and your logic!

>__>

<__<

Okay, I'll try to explain as best I can without confusing anyone... hopefully.

Now, I've always considered Vivio wielding the Saint's Armor as her strongest form; however, due to the Booster of the Armor, she could never use that power because it could kill her. In my fic, Vivio is still capable of doing magic; she just can never reach her full potential because she can't wield the Saint's Armor.

This is where Chrono Crusade kicks in.

Lutecia has this locket, which is really a Lost Logia. It's basically a wristwatch in a locket, and it acts as a seal. See, the idea is that two people form a contract, and for one person to use their full power they must feed on the other's soul, thus shortening their lifespan.

This is the contract between Lutecia and Vivio. When Lutecia releases the seal, Vivio can successfully wield the Saint's Armor, but doing so forces her to rely on Lutecia's soul and shortens her lifespan.

Hence, Tick Tock Time.

...

If it's horrible, please tell me now. And I'll drop it to write another Lutecia/Vivio plotbunny that's harassing me.
I do not know about that one, it feels a bit to sad for my tastes- happy stories only- though it seems okay otherwise...
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Old 2008-11-02, 22:49   Link #10495
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Little short I came up with in the middle of the night

I meant it to be Lutio (I will repeat this 'til it sticks) but it ended up being more sisterly I feel ^^;; ah well better luck next time.

Spoiler for Because Being a Mage isn't Dangerous Enough:


Spoiler for Afterword:
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Old 2008-11-02, 23:26   Link #10496
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Allquall View Post
The Name of War
Chapter Ten: Reaping the Whirlwind
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4380342/10/

Man, this looks good, and given my fondness for several of your other fics, now I have something new for my "Must. Read. Now." list...Ah, well, having a life is overrated anyway.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Knight of L-sama View Post
Sorry, too lazy to find Part 8. But...

Spoiler for Last time, on Q!F...:

Spoiler for Quack Fate! Part 9:
Aw, man, you've gone and officially snuck a plot in on us! This sounds horribly like Nanoha's about to commit some curious act of self-sacrifice. I wonder how this will stand up in place of Fate's determination to save her from your previous part. On the one hand, Nanoha clearly has some kind of plan, but on the other hand, sometimes the more innocent characters are capable of managing the most absurdly successful actions just because they don't wear mental blinders as to what's impossible...

Quote:
Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
Damn you and your logic!

>__>

<__<

Okay, I'll try to explain as best I can without confusing anyone... hopefully.

Now, I've always considered Vivio wielding the Saint's Armor as her strongest form; however, due to the Booster of the Armor, she could never use that power because it could kill her. In my fic, Vivio is still capable of doing magic; she just can never reach her full potential because she can't wield the Saint's Armor.

This is where Chrono Crusade kicks in.

Lutecia has this locket, which is really a Lost Logia. It's basically a wristwatch in a locket, and it acts as a seal. See, the idea is that two people form a contract, and for one person to use their full power they must feed on the other's soul, thus shortening their lifespan.

This is the contract between Lutecia and Vivio. When Lutecia releases the seal, Vivio can successfully wield the Saint's Armor, but doing so forces her to rely on Lutecia's soul and shortens her lifespan.

Hence, Tick Tock Time.

...

If it's horrible, please tell me now. And I'll drop it to write another Lutecia/Vivio plotbunny that's harassing me.
Okay, the name now fits fine. It's basically the same thing as the watch in Chrono Crusade. Though you might want to tweak it a little to make it not quite so explicitly identical...unless you're going to make the story an actual crossover.

(Funny...my Vivio has "Sankt Kaiser Mode" as Parsifal's third form; he has to keep burning cartridges every couple of minutes to maintain it because of the massive amount of magic required, and it's not as strong as her full-on Saint's Armor from StrikerS. Ah, well, great minds think alike and fools seldom differ; you can pick which category that falls into!)

Quote:
Originally Posted by TheShinySword View Post
Little short I came up with in the middle of the night

I meant it to be Lutio (I will repeat this 'til it sticks) but it ended up being more sisterly I feel ^^;; ah well better luck next time.

Spoiler for Because Being a Mage isn't Dangerous Enough:


Spoiler for Afterword:
First RadiantBeam, now you. This pairing seems popular lately! Actually, Vivio pairings in general seem very popular lately...Maybe it's because Vivio's so young in canon and only exists at age 4-5 except in SSX, so it's easy to take her personality in any direction the writer wants to without risking having to step OOC? Though I'm not sure I can see Lutecia as being the "wild past" type--that would require that she not only break out of her shell but utterly explode out of it as if trying to make up for the lost time from before when she was calm and controlled. Not impossible, I suppose, but you'd have to work at it to properly develop it. It might well depend on how her family circumstances work out as she enters her teenage years?
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Old 2008-11-03, 00:51   Link #10497
Vivio Testarossa
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I was looking through FF.net's stories and found a few non- NANOFATE YURI that might be of interest.

Protector
Black Wolf-Ninja
SubaruTeana
Complete

Fire and Lightning
Black Wolf-Ninja
Fatenum
Not complete

Now or Never
Seravy
SignumShamal
Complete

Kunzite
Lil-Donkey
SubaruTeana
Not complete

Shizuka na yoru
Lil-Donkey
SubaruTeana
Complete

Tourmaline Feelings
Satashi
SubaruTeana
Complete
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Old 2008-11-03, 01:16   Link #10498
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Satashi View Post

Chapter 22 is chatroom votes.
Spoiler for PornStar!Vivio pt.22:
Syn is indeed, LUCKY. ^^
little bit perverted too. cute.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Satashi View Post
Spoiler for PornStar!Vivio pt.23:

awwwwwww. Syn is sooooo sweeeet!!!!

LOve it, Satashi. ^^


Quote:
Originally Posted by Satashi View Post

~**~
[/SPOILER][/SPOILER]
Spoiler for PornStar!Vivio pt.24:
They're like kiiids!!! Vivio is so cuute here!

I really like what Syn said there. So meaningful.

Quote:
Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
I'm working on a Lutecia/Vivio one-shot, two years after Never Been Kissed. At the moment it might shape up into a 3 chapter fic... I've titled it Tick Tock Time, unless anyone else has a better suggestion.
oh cool! I love never been kissed! It was so cute and sweet!
can't wait for your next fanfic!
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Old 2008-11-03, 01:23   Link #10499
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Knight of L-sama View Post
Sorry, too lazy to find Part 8. But...

Spoiler for Last time, on Q!F...:

Spoiler for Quack Fate! Part 9:
No! My cwack!Fate has gone all serious on me! T.T The ending seems so ominous and sad.

Quote:
Originally Posted by TheShinySword View Post
Little short I came up with in the middle of the night

I meant it to be Lutio (I will repeat this 'til it sticks) but it ended up being more sisterly I feel ^^;; ah well better luck next time.

Spoiler for Because Being a Mage isn't Dangerous Enough:


Spoiler for Afterword:
Lutio! Lutio! Lutio! <---stuck enough? I love how the comment of Lutecia looking sexy on a motorcycle is the deciding factor. I want to hear about Erio's and Lutecia's misadventures, it'd be so great. I can only imagine what those two might do or the misunderstandings they can get into.

@VT: Thanks for the linkage.
@Satashi: That was cute, I love Syn's line about having fun.
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Old 2008-11-03, 01:33   Link #10500
BPHaru
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Vivio Testarossa View Post
I was looking through FF.net's stories and found a few non- NANOFATE YURI that might be of interest.

Spoiler for fics:
If you want to read other yuri pairings, there are lots of NanoFate fics in English with other yuri pairing as well. In fact, even if it's not said in the summary, most of the long fics feature more than one couple I think.

Cuídense y sigan sonriendo
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