Madan no Ou to Vanadis [Light Novel]

[setsuna86]

Originally Posted by Nandesuto

This isn't a machine translation, is it?

No, so if you can help it a little, that will be good.

[Algester]

pretty much th reason why its in teaser section of baka-tsuki its because it is machine translated somewhat done semi-professionally

[Nihgthawk]

Thanks for the translation setsuna86 thou I get the feeling that you need some help arranging the grammar to let the reader read the story smoothly it's not illegible and gets the story across.

[Hiyono]

I see. The difficulty is it seems to need more than just editing, i.e. TLC. I don't know how much I'd be able to help with that, unfortunately.

[willx]

^ The above is incorrect.

The previous volumes, 1-5 were done via machine translation with careful editing by EnigmaticAxiom. This is why it is in the teaser section.

The current chapters for Volume 6 are actual translations, but require editing.

[deathbringer]

Thanks Setsuna86 for the work. You've done two chapter at once. Bows down
btw the translation quality is not bad at all for your first work, keep up the good work.
as long as it is readable as reader I have no right to complain

[Iskatar]

Originally Posted by willx

^ The above is incorrect.

The previous volumes, 1-5 were done via machine translation with careful editing by EnigmaticAxiom. This is why it is in the teaser section.

The current chapters for Volume 6 are actual translations, but require editing.

It requires a lot of it.

[Hiyono]

Here's a quick comparison of the first few lines against my Chinese translation.

Originally Posted by Original

The autumn in Zchted is short. Or one should say that winter came early.

Plants that were lush and bathed in the sunlight shining too, during the summer now seemed to let color hammer before the wind that lost heat.

Of course, it wasn't merely such a scenery. The autumn was also the season of harvest. Under the blue sky, golden wheat fields stretched too far along the highway.

As the wind blew, the wheat ears which grew splendidly with the sound of the seat shakes.

It seemed that with the abundant harvest around here, the face of the farmers who were cropping was also smiling broadly.

Besides standing out were the green apple trees, on which some plump green apples were hanging down really heavily.

Looking at such peaceful scenery, Tigre felt at ease. The wind was cool to a comfortable extent, though it came now just expecting to talk to them, the horse was hasted suppressing that feeling.

Here's my take:

Autumns in Zhcted were rather short. One might also say that winter simply came early.

The verdant green of vegetation, previously bathed in the bright midsummer sun, had since faded with the rustle of the autumn breeze.

It wasn't all bleak, however; autumn was also the season of harvest.

Beneath the blue sky, vast, golden fields of wheat stretched as far as the eye could see. As the breeze blew, plump ears of wheat rustled as they swayed. The sight of farmers at work, reaping wheat, also entered one's gaze.

Unwilling to be left out, young apple trees made their presence known, their boughs dipping towards the ground, laden with fruit.

Immersing himself in the scenery, Tigre's heart opened wide. Feeling the pleasantly crisp breeze, Tigre was filled with the desire to chat with the farmers in their fields. Nonetheless, suppressing this impulse, he urged his horse onward.

I can't vouch for the accuracy of my own translation, or of the initial J-C one, but there does seem to be something lost in translation. I'd advise being a little more careful with lines that tend to have chained modifiers + descriptions. The flow of the English is a little awkward as well, although that's simply because you're not a native English speaker. An editor ought to be able to help with that.

[setsuna86]

Originally Posted by Nandesuto

Here's a quick comparison of the first few lines against my Chinese translation.


Here's my take:


I can't vouch for the accuracy of my own translation, or of the initial J-C one, but there does seem to be something lost in translation. I'd advise being a little more careful with lines that tend to have chained modifiers + descriptions. The flow of the English is a little awkward as well, although that's simply because you're not a native English speaker. An editor ought to be able to help with that.

No, I don't think there is something lost in translation. What your translate now match perfectly with japanese LN. I translate it only using my own words.
But now I understand what you mean.
I currently began the ch 4 and I will translate that as you propose now, i.e, word for word. Well Thank you for your advises. That helps me.

[Hiyohiyo]

Translating word for word isn't correct either. The important thing is simply to convey the idea. Sometimes that means word for word, and sometimes not. Just use your best judgment. It's not like my translation was the best either (I and some others just had this conversation =)).

On another note, props to you for being openly accepting of criticism and having an open desire to improve. Such a trait is both valuable and rare.

[XFire]

Originally Posted by Algester

and then the 8th Campione was actually the last King...

wrong thread ^_^

[Algester]

good pointing it out lol will move

[noobarta]

Originally Posted by setsuna86

No, so if you can help it a little, that will be good.

Will do, I'll help edit some parts of the sentence structure I spot

[haseo0408]

Does anyone know when volume 7 will be release?

[Awrya]

Originally Posted by haseo0408

Does anyone know when volume 7 will be release?

Volume 7 release was mentioned 2 pages ago.

Originally Posted by Nihgthawk

Got a release date for volume 7, 6/25.

[setsuna86]

Originally Posted by Nandesuto

I'd advise being a little more careful with lines that tend to have chained modifiers + descriptions. The flow of the English is a little awkward as well, although that's simply because you're not a native English speaker. An editor ought to be able to help with that.

I try to do as you advise and reedit. Please read once more on BT. (ch 2)

[cramped]

Need my help setsuna?

[XenahortCharybdis]

I too am at your service, oh thee of the free time.

And I end temp work come the end of this month. Ree-hee-hee!

[setsuna86]

Originally Posted by cramped

Need my help setsuna?

Of course, your help is welcome.

[cramped]

Your wish is my command, awaiting ORDERS SIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!