Nanoha FanFiction Discussion

[Sam the Onion]

Originally Posted by Satashi

L!F definetly needs to be Mature rating. It's heavily laced with adult themes (which makes it so great). plus, a "T" rating may limit Junkedcat on things to put in. Like Fate almost raping Nanoha. Mature rating clearly states that it's not holding back, and I appreciate that. It's a breath of fresh air to see a real life kinda fic, where Fate is a jerk, horny, and wants a piece of Nanoha's cute butt.

You win cookies Junkedcat.

This just shows again that I have no idea about kids of any age

I didn't find anything inappropriate there

Edit: Page claim. Yay!

This claim goes to various flavors of cookies

[Junkedcat]

I slapped the Mature ratting on it as a safety buffer. Right now it seems a little bit on the teen side but mature themes are on the way. Fate is not done with Princess and there will be some action between them (got some holes to patch first...). Now before anyone asks, I will limit myself to how explicit i will be in the story. Something that can be used for growth might pop in but i do not intend for this to turn into smut.

I will come on later and comment on the few stories that have been posted but there are things to do. Also next part of L!F will take some time to write up...

*Bows* thank you for the cookies.

Edit: Momo Chan... you gave me an idea..

Edit #2:
@ Sam the Onion's little project... Still likening it. The only thing i can say is that given what we know now, It would be wise to assume that Aren and the knights complement eachother as far as their magic schools are concerned. I eagerly await what tricks they have up their sleeves and how they can go all out against any opponent.

@Evil Rick... I have to say those little shorts where interesting. If you got more of these little snip bits i hope you post them up.

[Satashi]

productive day today. I helped out a friend with beta-ing and even got about 3k words done in my fics. How's everyone else coming along this lovely sunday?

[Krinen]

Originally Posted by Satashi

productive day today. I helped out a friend with beta-ing and even got about 3k words done in my fics. How's everyone else coming along this lovely sunday?

About 3 and 1/2 chapters on Magistrix, 400k on EVE ("Kredits", that is.), and some progress on KoTR, and +1 SSB: Brawl.


See, this is why I hate Mondays, because Sundays rock.

[Keroko]

Originally Posted by Satashi

productive day today. I helped out a friend with beta-ing and even got about 3k words done in my fics. How's everyone else coming along this lovely sunday?

Still recovering. Tried to do some photoshopping, but failed horribly. I decided to watch some Ranma 1/2 while incapacitated.

Beyond that though, nice calm day.

[Satashi]

Inspired by Saint X and a weird chat room.

Spoiler for NSFW, I guess?:

Nanoha smiled, crawling along the bed towards Fate's laying figure. Her attention was focused on a book held above her head and didn't see Nanoha until arms went on either side of her. "Fate-chaaaaaan," Nanoha grinned like a cat.

"Nanoha." Fate conked her with the book. "We made love last night, can't you wait more than twenty four hours?"

The girl giggled huskily, leaning forward and nipping Fate's neck. "No, I can't." Her hand trailed over Fate's stomach slowly, getting a moan.

"Sure you won't mind?" Fate smirked to herself. "I'm feeling fun tonight."

The words only made Nanoha groan in anticipation. "I'm game." Her mouth bit Fate on the shoulder, hand lightly trailing down her stomach and under the sheets. "Mmm...." Her hand felt a large bulge under her girlfriend's panties and gripped something hard. "....." her ears heard Fate giggle huskily in her hair. "Jesus Christ!" Nanoha jumped back. "It's a trap! Get in the car!" Her escape was cut off when Fate pounced her like a lion.

"No escape!" She cheered, dragging Nanoha back to their bed.

[Wild Goose]

Writing some OC crack Essentially, it's a big barfight between OCs.

Sample line:

"So, you guys are Rim Advance Force eh?" asked Franz, smiling unpleasantly. "I guess that makes you...rimjobbers."

[SpaceBrotha]

Originally Posted by Satashi

Inspired by Saint X and a weird chat room.

Spoiler for NSFW, I guess?:

Nanoha smiled, crawling along the bed towards Fate's laying figure. Her attention was focused on a book held above her head and didn't see Nanoha until arms went on either side of her. "Fate-chaaaaaan," Nanoha grinned like a cat.

"Nanoha." Fate conked her with the book. "We made love last night, can't you wait more than twenty four hours?"

The girl giggled huskily, leaning forward and nipping Fate's neck. "No, I can't." Her hand trailed over Fate's stomach slowly, getting a moan.

"Sure you won't mind?" Fate smirked to herself. "I'm feeling fun tonight."

The words only made Nanoha groan in anticipation. "I'm game." Her mouth bit Fate on the shoulder, hand lightly trailing down her stomach and under the sheets. "Mmm...." Her hand felt a large bulge under her girlfriend's panties and gripped something hard. "....." her ears heard Fate giggle huskily in her hear. "Jesus Christ!" Nanoha jumped back. "It's a trap! Get in the car!" Her escape was cut off when Fate pounced her like a lion.

"No escape!" She cheered, dragging Nanoha back to their bed.

Spoiler:

[Junkedcat]

Originally Posted by Satashi

productive day today. I helped out a friend with beta-ing and even got about 3k words done in my fics. How's everyone else coming along this lovely sunday?

My productivity is shot... slept in too late, did some fixing and plotting on L!F (thanks Satashi) but nothing new is written down, I haven't gotten a e-mail thats critical to my assignment over break, i got a bunch more assignments i have to do over break and i still haven't gotten down to commenting on SbtB.... So yea today turned into a day of rest.

Originally Posted by Satashi

Inspired by Saint X and a weird chat room.

Spoiler for NSFW, I guess?:

Nanoha smiled, crawling along the bed towards Fate's laying figure. Her attention was focused on a book held above her head and didn't see Nanoha until arms went on either side of her. "Fate-chaaaaaan," Nanoha grinned like a cat.

"Nanoha." Fate conked her with the book. "We made love last night, can't you wait more than twenty four hours?"

The girl giggled huskily, leaning forward and nipping Fate's neck. "No, I can't." Her hand trailed over Fate's stomach slowly, getting a moan.

"Sure you won't mind?" Fate smirked to herself. "I'm feeling fun tonight."

The words only made Nanoha groan in anticipation. "I'm game." Her mouth bit Fate on the shoulder, hand lightly trailing down her stomach and under the sheets. "Mmm...." Her hand felt a large bulge under her girlfriend's panties and gripped something hard. "....." her ears heard Fate giggle huskily in her hear. "Jesus Christ!" Nanoha jumped back. "It's a trap! Get in the car!" Her escape was cut off when Fate pounced her like a lion.

"No escape!" She cheered, dragging Nanoha back to their bed.

That was... interesting...

Spoiler for NSFW mini-tag:

"Oh come on Nanoha, I baked you a cake... Aren't you going to taste it?"

*Hangs head in shame* Shouldn't have written that... but its only in fun... right?

[Satashi]

Originally Posted by Junkedcat

My productivity is shot... slept in too late, did some fixing and plotting on L!F (thanks Satashi) but nothing new is written down, I haven't gotten a e-mail thats critical to my assignment over break, i got a bunch more assignments i have to do over break and i still haven't gotten down to commenting on SbtB.... So yea today turned into a day of rest.


That was... interesting...

Spoiler for NSFW mini-tag:

"Oh come on Nanoha, I baked you a cake... Aren't you going to taste it?"

*Hangs head in shame* Shouldn't have written that... but its only in fun... right?

replied:

Spoiler for you should have written that. I shouldn't have written this:

Nanoha gave Fate a nervous look. "Last time you said that, I nearly drowned in frosting..."

[ghazghkull]

Originally Posted by Satashi

replied:

Spoiler for you should have written that. I shouldn't have written this:

Nanoha gave Fate a nervous look. "Last time you said that, I nearly drowned in frosting..."

LOL then why are you writing it?! XD

[AshLikeSnow]

Slow going is slowwww ~ Drama is hard to write well ;-;
My chappy isn't writing itself like I want it to *sobs*

Sata-chan, your Fate-chan is too nice for this world, y'hear me? D:

And Landscaper Fate is hot. No buts or ifs. Sounds like she's gonna get whipped though lol :x

[Junkedcat]

Originally Posted by Satashi

replied:

Spoiler for you should have written that. I shouldn't have written this:

Nanoha gave Fate a nervous look. "Last time you said that, I nearly drowned in frosting..."

When I stopped laughing I appreciated the fact that I don't have a hole to fall into right now...

Anyways finally some SbtB comments

Spoiler for !:

The big thing about this chapter is Nanoha's addiction. Clearly smoking was not intentional so Nanoha has that little support to help her out. Catching it now should help her down the path because it is only a new routine. Since success is not overnight you can carry this through to the end of SbtB. You may not resolve the problem completely (Nanoha might still take some sort of meds to help her cravings) but you can show progress. It seems that this little bump tested Fate and should reinforce in Nanoha's mind that she is there for her and will hear her out. Adding the reason why Fate eats so much was a nice little piece of depth I wasn't expecting. It makes sense though, you can be surprised the little things you can do to deal with some problems or in response of some situations. I find Fate's massages a unique gift to Nanoha. True, it is her profession (well....) but I see her doing something special, however little it is, that only her girlfriend can get. At the end of the chapter I thought of something: It might be time for Nanoha and Fate to spend the night together (without sex). Should prove awkward as both girls figure out what an acceptable way to cuddle would be. If it's at Fate's apartment then Precia is bound to tease the hell out of her (and maybe some closet malfunctions). If it's at Nanoha's, dad is sure to keep an eye out on Fate. Then again, this could provide a way to build good relations between Fate and Nanoha's parents (which has been lacking): a good family meal, some chit chat, something to prove that Fate keeps her hands where Nanoha tells her to put them. Just some ideas.

[Satashi]

The big thing about this chapter is Nanoha's addiction. Clearly smoking was not intentional so Nanoha has that little support to help her out. Catching it now should help her down the path because it is only a new routine. Since success is not overnight you can carry this through to the end of SbtB. You may not resolve the problem completely (Nanoha might still take some sort of meds to help her cravings) but you can show progress.

I plan on making it seem logical on how she gets through it ^.^ I have smokers who have tried to quit telling me how it goes. Same with Nanoha's reactions, I researched it before wrote.

It seems that this little bump tested Fate and should reinforce in Nanoha's mind that she is there for her and will hear her out. Adding the reason why Fate eats so much was a nice little piece of depth I wasn't expecting. It makes sense though, you can be surprised the little things you can do to deal with some problems or in response of some situations.

Thanks, I came up with that on the spot so I'm glad it worked out okay ^^

I find Fate's massages a unique gift to Nanoha. True, it is her profession (well....) but I see her doing something special, however little it is, that only her girlfriend can get.

Go Go Massaging!Fate

At the end of the chapter I thought of something: It might be time for Nanoha and Fate to spend the night together (without sex). Should prove awkward as both girls figure out what an acceptable way to cuddle would be. If it's at Fate's apartment then Precia is bound to tease the hell out of her (and maybe some closet malfunctions). If it's at Nanoha's, dad is sure to keep an eye out on Fate. Then again, this could provide a way to build good relations between Fate and Nanoha's parents (which has been lacking): a good family meal, some chit chat, something to prove that Fate keeps her hands where Nanoha tells her to put them. Just some ideas.

......that's a really really good idea. I'll do that. Thank you ^^

[toran]

Don't check for two days and already backlogged. >.<

Originally Posted by Saint X

@ Earth VS TSAB idea:

Not really good...

Why invade a possible ally/planet with no idea of what's really out there?

Why did no one comment on my previous posts!!!

I'm not really sure what you mean by that. And the stuff about not commenting on your previous posts. Sorry. I may have just missed them.

Originally Posted by Evil Rick

Your idea is very similar to mine (Military stenght vs Magic), just that in my doujinshi it isn't a war between the TSAB and earth, but between the TSAB and a nation called The Tecno - Union Imperie, a country in wich the use of Magic is prohibited and it has lots of machines designed to take down mages (You know, things like Bullets that penetrate Magical Shields and weapons that damage the Magical Link Cores of the mages).

Your idea sounds interesting thoug, I suggest you that think in a better reazon for the War between Earth and the TSAB

I agree whole heartedly about developing a better reason between the war between TSAB and Earth. This idea is still in the works and haven't come up with a better reason than something similar to Gundam Seed.

Originally Posted by arkhangelsk

1) They won't. They won't even create a real AMF for training, instead opting to play with the devices. If someone is willing to deploy AMF it'll be Terra.
2) Anti-AMF is a matter of training - the Forwards show this.
3) As actually observed, they don't have enough AAA and S mages for Midchildra let alone fighting Earth.

Spoiler for Last Episode spoiler reply:

Actually, A strong enough AMF does negate magic as shown when the Cradle went into lockdown. Almost all magic was negated, preventing magical attacks. The only reason why Subaru was able to use her Divine Buster was because she is an android.

Also take into account I'm trying to make this a more militaristic TSAB, hence there isn't a need for AAA and S mages.

Originally Posted by Satashi

I think this appropriate for this thread, as it's swapping ideas about how to make a fanfic work, not simply discussing the technology itself.

As for more food for thought........ hmmmm.....

How about this:

In the past,several years, something of the TSAB was on earth. Maybe a soldier, an storage device, ect. Maybe even a crashed space ship. The government took it and hid it from public knowledge and studied it, mimicking the technology. This would explain in your AU that Earth was more advanced.

When the TSAB come, and Earth's weapons are useless against mages, they fight fire with fire, and send out special ops trained in the use of storage devices. In stead of magic they would use batteries. Like a cartridge. Load a battery of fusion energy into device and BAM, instant mage.

Gundams= int. devices
regular= storage devices

Earth's favor: Batteries are limitless with no drawbacks. A mage uses their own energy and are subject to fatigue.

TSAB's favor: A strong mage can easily kill lesser targets.

What do you think?

Actually, I like that idea, but I was thinking this type of development would come later. I'm still trying to follow Gundam Seeds plot a little in this aspect.

Originally Posted by Satashi

Saved by the Bell 17

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3991951/17/

Enjoy ^^

Love this chapter. I really didn't see anything wrong with the chapter and I like how you handled Nanoha's unexpected addiction.

Junkedcat [Landscaper Fate] : I'm still not quite sure how to take this fic. To me they just don't feel like Fate or Nanoha. Just a face to a character so far. It's not to say that I don't like what is written, I actually like what you have of the story so far.

Originally Posted by Junkedcat

To add on to the discussion about ways earth could combat the TSAB, Earth could also have been researching more powerful mass based weapons. In StrikerS the numbers took out the Ground Force's (What i assumed was) mass based Anti-Capital Ship weapons before the Cradle rose. I guess it would be safe to assume that the TSAB fleet would still be vulnerable to physical weapons... Pound a protection system hard enough or long enough and it should shatter.

I was actually going to mention that. A barrier/shield system is not perfect. Because it requires energy, enough projectiles striking the shield would collapse it. I never said the Shield spells were going to give the largest advantage over good ole firepower and tactics.

[Evil Rick]

Originally Posted by toran

I agree whole heartedly about developing a better reason between the war between TSAB and Earth. This idea is still in the works and haven't come up with a better reason than something similar to Gundam Seed.

Did you read the comic "Marvel Civil War"?

In that comic, a bunch of superheroes known as "The New Warrioes" and four villans destroy a city in a battle killing lots of inocent people, most of them childs, after that, the Nations approve a law called, " The law of Superhuman registre", in wich the superheroes must reveal theyr identity and work for the gobern, to avoid another incident like that, Some superheroes like Iron Man agree with that law, but others like Captain America refuse it, so a war between Superheroes Start...

You can try something similar but with mages

[AshLikeSnow]

Finally finished the chapter. It took a bit out of me lol

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4099527/4/

How about giving me some comments? Thanks guys :3

[Evil Rick]

Originally Posted by AshLikeSnow

Finally finished the chapter. It took a bit out of me lol

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4099527/4/

How about giving me some comments? Thanks guys :3

O3O

Your tring some Fate Point of View eh?

I really like it, congragulations Amigo

[Wild Goose]

Earth vs TSAB... Kagerou and I tried something similar with Erusia.

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5

Essentially: 20 years prior to StrikerS the TSAB stumbled on a planet that had spent the last century reverse-engineering TSAB tech from a patrol cruiser, and was fairly beefed up. (Erusia had Halo-era gear. PLus laser canons. And powered exoskeletons.) First Contact went well, negotioations, not so. In MC0052, over a translation error (The Erusians believed the TSAB had evil intentions and wished to Enslave them) the Erusians killed the TSAB negotiating party and the TSAB withdrew they 6-ship fleet (after gettin 4 ships blown up) and prepared a punitive expedition, which arrived back over Erusia on June MC0055.

It took the TSAB 7 hours to destroy Erusia's 400-ship fleet.

It took Erusia about 2-3 years to fall to the TSAB.

5 years after the war began, the TSAB was in control of both Erusia AND its sister planet Sotoa, with only isolated pockets of resistance remaining.

And this was despite the Erusians having a good number of mages to fight back with the TSAB....

Incidentally, this is where Sergeant Major A.J. Ivanovich *cough*HaloJohnson*cough* picked up his nickname of Mage Hunter. The TSAB vets of the war still shudder on hearing that nickname. Especially the survivors of the battalion he drove off with an entire crate of plasma grenades...

Things were mostly in favor of the TSAB, though they did suffer defeats; the Erusian city of North Point, for instance, was hastily reworked into an urban warfare nightmare and sniper haven; TSAB companies and battalions that went in kept getting ambushed and cut to pieces... so long as the Erusian Resistance had ammo.

They had 3 years to prepare, and already had a crapload of supplies (Erusia was very heavily militarised), but the supply situation favored the TSAB.

In the end the TSAB pretty much completed occupation of Erusia, in a senario very similar to that of Iraq - but on a planetwide scale.

[toran]

Spoiler for space:

Originally Posted by Wild Goose

Earth vs TSAB... Kagerou and I tried something similar with Erusia.

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5

Essentially: 20 years prior to StrikerS the TSAB stumbled on a planet that had spent the last century reverse-engineering TSAB tech from a patrol cruiser, and was fairly beefed up. (Erusia had Halo-era gear. PLus laser canons. And powered exoskeletons.) First Contact went well, negotioations, not so. In MC0052, over a translation error (The Erusians believed the TSAB had evil intentions and wished to Enslave them) the Erusians killed the TSAB negotiating party and the TSAB withdrew they 6-ship fleet (after gettin 4 ships blown up) and prepared a punitive expedition, which arrived back over Erusia on June MC0055.

It took the TSAB 7 hours to destroy Erusia's 400-ship fleet.

It took Erusia about 2-3 years to fall to the TSAB.

5 years after the war began, the TSAB was in control of both Erusia AND its sister planet Sotoa, with only isolated pockets of resistance remaining.

And this was despite the Erusians having a good number of mages to fight back with the TSAB....

Incidentally, this is where Sergeant Major A.J. Ivanovich *cough*HaloJohnson*cough* picked up his nickname of Mage Hunter. The TSAB vets of the war still shudder on hearing that nickname. Especially the survivors of the battalion he drove off with an entire crate of plasma grenades...

Things were mostly in favor of the TSAB, though they did suffer defeats; the Erusian city of North Point, for instance, was hastily reworked into an urban warfare nightmare and sniper haven; TSAB companies and battalions that went in kept getting ambushed and cut to pieces... so long as the Erusian Resistance had ammo.

They had 3 years to prepare, and already had a crapload of supplies (Erusia was very heavily militarised), but the supply situation favored the TSAB.

In the end the TSAB pretty much completed occupation of Erusia, in a senario very similar to that of Iraq - but on a planetwide scale.

Interesting. When I have a bit more time I'll have to look into that.