Welcome to the board Andarkoshi. It's a pleasure to have a new face around here.
As for your mortality... We'll be as gentle as we can. XD
But joking aside, there are quite a few members here who will be more than willing to help your writing if that's a concern. Lord only knows how my own stuff would have turned out without the help I got.
You sure will [full of sarcasm]
Well it's not the writing itself that I'm worried about but the content... it involves a lot of trauma for the characters... On the bright side, I put little Nanoha in a maid outfit and she is working for Tsukimuras.
Well it's not the writing itself that I'm worried about but the content... it involves a lot of trauma for the characters... On the bright side, I put little Nanoha in a maid outfit and she is working for Tsukimuras.
Ahh. Trauma can be quite the useful plot point. I'm rather curious as to what you have in mind. Not only on the trauma angle, but also the maid outfit. I would only caution to avoid grimderp.
__________________
The Art of Shipping is as profound as it is dangerous; not for the faint of heart nor the weak of will, it makes gods and devils out of us all.
Ahh. Trauma can be quite the useful plot point. I'm rather curious as to what you have in mind. Not only on the trauma angle, but also the maid outfit. I would only caution to avoid grimderp.
Okay I won't be beating around the bush...
The story involves Emiya Shirou from Fate/Stay Night, much older Emiya Shirou who abandoned his ideals and began to live in Uminari City. One night when he was minding his business, walking down a street and snarking at his smartass device it started raining girls. Or to be more specific one girl, a cute blond little girl clad in clothing Most inappropriate for her young age.
The girl was hurt, Badly, internal damage, broken bones, not much of a chance to live for more than a few hours without proper medical care. After agonizing about whether to help her or not he finally decided in favour of saving her.
And that's the beginning of the story for Shirou and Fate Testarossa.
If you want a little spoiler... Fate is actually Shirou's biological daughter in story.... as much as Alicia is.
Gilgamesh approves... I can't decide whether I'm happy or traumatized... Still my words feel kinda empty without a contribution, so I'll post a little something
Spoiler for Story:
Nanoha wanted to say something but when she turned her head to the small redhead something caught her eye.
“Vita-chan, Watch out!”
She screamed and jumped forward, pushing the small knight aside. Her hand snapped forward and was about to summon a barrier when she froze.
“Oi Takamachi what is the big ide...”
Vita spun around and her eyes shot open, Nanoha stood there, her hand extended in front of her while an enormous scythe-like blade emerged from her back. The blade was sticky with red fluid which dripped down the smooth metal, stained the girl’s pure white barrier jacket red. Her eyes were unfocused, hazy but she was conscious enough to do one last thing.
“Shoot”
The girl managed to whisper as her body fell backwards, the hastily created magic bullets shot forward and blew away the drone which attacked her.
The girl slowly slid off of the blade and fell to the ground, motionless, lifeless. Vita could just stare in shock as blood began to soak into her comrade’s white clothes and the ground. The white, just moments ago uniform, was becoming as crimson as Vita’s.
Came the steady but urgent sounding voice of Nanoha’s device which snapped the small knight out of her shock. Raising Heart already began sealing the two large holes but she couldn’t do anything beside that.
“What are you talking about, activate the AED!”
“AED destroyed during combat, Initiate Manual CPR Immediately”
“SHIT!”
The knight dropped her hammer and fell next to Nanoha, her hands extended to the girl but then stopped.
What the hell was she supposed to do!?
Her panicked mind tried to recall the lectures they received, the step by step instructions on what to do, but there no time for that. She actually didn’t pay too much attention to those lectures, they had AEDs which worked as portable defibrillators and every mage had them. What was the point of learning something old fashioned like CPR? It’s not like they would ever get a chance to use that knowledge.
“Initiate CPR Immediately. Time left until irreversible brain damage, 5 minutes 30 seconds.”
“Shit shit Shit!”
She began cursing as her hands landed on Nanoha’s chest and began pumping hard. 1.. 2...3...4...5
Crack.
She stopped short as something under hands cracked audibly and Nanoha’s body shivered with pain. Vita swore taking her hands away, damn her and her strength, it was so easy to break things when she wasn’t careful. Things and people as well. She stared at her fingers sticky and red with her friend’s blood. There was so much blood around Nanoha, did she loose too much, Vita wondered.
“Resume CPR”
The device urged her again.
“I broke something in her! What did I break!?””
Vita asked panicked.
“One of the ribs was broken. Ignore, Continue CPR”
“What the hell do you mean by Ignore!? I want to help her dammit, not kill her!”
“Ignore. Continue CPR”
“Damn stubborn device, don’t blame me if I damage her more”
The girl swore under her breath and began pumping again, 10 times, 20 times, 30 times. Then she quickly leaned over, took a deep breath and opened the girl’s mouth, her small lips parted and Vita pushed hers against them. Nanoha tasted vaguely of strawberries. Vita vaguely remembered Nanoha’s smile as she enjoyed that strawberry shortcake back in the cantina. She looked so happy then, she giggled and even offered some of her cake to Vita who scoffed at the idea. Nanoha tasted of strawberries, strawberries and blood.
“Shit! Shit! Shit!”
The girl had blood in her mouth, probably all the way to where her lungs was. Vita cursed and swore for not checking if there was something in Nanoha’s mouth. She had no choice but to press on her heart, she couldn’t give Nanoha any oxygen, none whatsoever, if the help didn’t come quick the girl die, Nanoha would really die. The thought struck Vita like a bolt of lightning. That ever smiling face, those petting-happy hands, they would all disappear.
“Oi did you contact TSAB!?”
She yelled at the device in panic as her hands moved rhythmically, up and down, up and down.
“Yes, Help is on the way.”
“Damn tell them to hurry or else I’ll smack them all with Graf Eisen”
Her hands moved, up and down, up and down.
Crack
Another rib broke as she pushed the chest down but she ignored it, ribs can be healed, death can’t. She wanted to swear, to cry to rage and destroy but she couldn’t, she had to focus on this single task. Her eyes shot between her hands and Nanoha’s face. The girl was becoming paler with her each minute, her lips losing their colour.
“Hurry up, Hurry up DAMMIT!”
Her hands moved, the body under her motionless, lifeless, she could swear that it was growing colder with each minute and the circle of blood around them grew bigger with each moment.
She wanted to cry, if it wasn’t for her, if she just paid attention, if she was careful, if she looked behind this wouldn’t have happened. If she just WASN’T such a bitch to Nanoha all the time all of this wouldn’t happen.
“Don’t die on me Nanoha, please, Don’t die on me”
She pleaded her tears dripping down her nose and onto her blood-stained hands.
“I promise I’ll treat you to a cake and will eat it if you give me some and won’t get angry at you and will let you pet me and will play with you and won’t get angry when you help me at Midoriya and... and..., just don’t die. JUST DON’T DIE ON ME!”
It all went completely wrong, she wanted to be friends with Nanoha but the way the girl treated her. It just grated on her nerves and made her angry. She just couldn’t hold a conversation with her without arguing. She always promised herself that she’d make sure not to yell Next Time... but maybe there would be No next time.
“Please, I’m sorry, I don’t hate you, I forgave you for what you said about Hayate. I don’t want you to die, I don’t! Please just live dammit...”
The girl openly cried, her friend, her little fragile friend was dying on her eyes and she couldn’t do ANYTHING. She only knew how to destroy, how to smash and break she couldn’t do Anything.
hm... since the only person I'm looking forward for updates got sealed off from the MGLN thread... I'll be quiet for a long time till he is unsealed...
nice knowing you guys. with the exception of two persons.
Cya, till the unforseen future. But I might entertain some PMs and public msg on my account.
__________________
Darwin's nominee are best for laughs.
MGLN "Befriending" shows love thru superior firepower (Zenryokou Zenkai!)
Gundams are your worst nightmare in the battlefield.
SRW beats all foes.
JAM Project pwns all!!!
And I can't still make fanfic without restarting from the start when new ideas comes in...
Andarkoshi... Hold on one second...
Hubikoshi, that you? What the hell are you doing here you Eldritch Abomination?
[folds his tentacles in front of his chest and fumes] Tch, an Eldritch Abomination can't even join a forum without being accused of Planning something. This is discrimination! Just because I have fondness for messing with time-space continuum and mind-raping it doesn't mean I'm always up to something!
[folds his tentacles in front of his chest and fumes] Tch, an Eldritch Abomination can't even join a forum without being accused of Planning something. This is discrimination! Just because I have fondness for messing with time-space continuum and mind-raping it doesn't mean I'm always up to something!
An Eldritch Abomination who is Hayate's Perverted pet.
*Imagines Andarkoshi doing what his meister hayate ordered him to to: to "Play" with her and her friends*
*shivers.*
that's it... I'm bailing before anything else comes along....
*Then Levi the Slasher join in at Hayate's "fun"*
__________________
Darwin's nominee are best for laughs.
MGLN "Befriending" shows love thru superior firepower (Zenryokou Zenkai!)
Gundams are your worst nightmare in the battlefield.
SRW beats all foes.
JAM Project pwns all!!!
And I can't still make fanfic without restarting from the start when new ideas comes in...
An Eldritch Abomination who is Hayate's Perverted pet.
*Imagines Andarkoshi doing what his meister hayate ordered him to to: to "Play" with her and her friends*
*shivers.*
that's it... I'm bailing before anything else comes along....
*Then Levi the Slasher join in at Hayate's "fun"*
And then Hayate would drag Dearche along despite vehement tsun protests
Oh yes the THINGS I would do to the girls. The terrible, decadent things!
I would *his tentacles begin to weave in the air in excitement* put them all in the cutest of cosplays made by Tohsaka Sakura and then take pictures! As per Hayate-sama's orders!
Yuuno’s mana reserves restoring steadily, and young archaeologist, used his time, to heal his broken ribs. The boy used an old technique he learned from ancient book, he find on the digging site on planet Wirsis 4; this healing technique was based on stable and controlled flow of mana through damaged area, while mage mentally chant special un-words. It wasn’t as effective as healing circle, but spent little mana and, more importantly, it didn’t draw the attention to him. And Yuuno dreaded to think what Britannia will do to him.
As he looked around, from his comfortable seat in Nanoha’s arms, he could see that knightmare drive through cozy and rather spacious streets of Uminary city Ooka district. The streets was drown in the light from windows of numerous houses and from rather decorous streetlights, between which was stretched a flexible screen, who show information about temperature of air, humidity, time and news.
What spoiled Yuuno’s overall impression were thick and tall walls around houses and gun’s emplacements, which pooped out occasionally, showing a certain nation warmongering nature, which she concealed beneath a veneer of pleasantness.
The distance from the place, where battle with monster occurred to Midori-ya wasn’t too long – on foot girls would spent a bit more than quarter of hour to reach Nanoha’s home. So it’s take a five minutes for a fast and nimble knightmare, who even didn’t go at full tilt, since he had passengers, to stop before the two-storey building.
The residence of Takamachi family was built in the same style as all surrounded houses, the measure that allow to construct this block of city in record time. The homes was constructed from specials modules, constructed with usage of synthetic stone, which was sturdy and hard enough to rival the concrete, but also light enough to transport the set, used for construction of entire building on sole truck .
In addition, the blocks were equipped with numerous special fittings and slots, which allowed the owners to rebuild and/or redesign their residences at will. So despite basic familiarity with all buildings, no one could say that they lacked individuality.
The Midori-ya occupied a part of first floor of Takmachi household and adjacent part of yard. Seems that café was already closed for customers, the windows hid behind shutters, the tables, umbrellas and chairs was already packed and owners of building now was in process of putting them in storage.
The arrival of a special police force unit was impossible to overlook even in such mega polices as Tokyo, so, when the knightmare, piloted by man called Minami, halted and lowered his hands, allowing girls to step on the roadway, the occupants of house abandon their current work and dashed toward metallic humanoid.
The group was lead by tall brown-haired blue eyed woman, who wear the long brown dress, white shirt and black apron. Her facial features and color of her hairs easily gave out her status as Nanoha’s mother.
Beside her stood two teenagers, both the same age, both wear the blue jeans and white shirt/black apron duo similar to the Nanoha’s mom. They also wear a similar worried expression, though who could blame them, peoples normally start to worry, seeing an armed knightmare, near their houses.
There was similarity in them, recognized Yuuno; seems to be relatives, maybe even brother and sister. The boy was a bit taller, have a dark-brown hairs and brown eyes, while girl boasted a slick long black hairs and blue eyes. Both teenagers had athletic builds and their movements betrayed their training in martial arts. Yuuno could say this, since he was also forced to practice together with other Scrya tribe younglings. Not, very successfully though: he didn’t put much effort in studying unarmed combat then, now he was start to regret it.
Maybe the monster didn’t play in whack-a-wizard today with him, if his body was more resistant to strikes. Though, judging by amount of damage, inflicted by beast, he need a built rivaling seasoned Belkan knight, in order to withstand Jewel Seeds creation’s strikes.
“Nanoha!” Exclaimed brown haired woman, dashing toward her daughter and her friends, who stood cautiously before police KMF. Boy and girl
followed her immediately, also pretty shocked to see Nanoha, accompanied by bipedal war machine. “Nanoha, are you okay?!”
Nanoha blushed lightly and lowered her head a little under three intense gazes, while her mother and siblings surrounded her, creating a semi-circle, pulling Yuuno a bit closer to her, much to his both delight and chagrin.
She didn’t like to worry her momma and her dear brother and sister. The sheer worry and pain in her mother eyes, when something bad, no matter how insignificant it could be, happened to her or her siblings, never failed to pierce her heart with pain and guilt. Her beautiful and gentle mother didn’t deserve to be putted through such pain. Especially, she tightly pressed her lips together when she thought about it, what happened to her father.
“Don’t worry Miss Takamachi!” Arisa come to her help, swiftly striding forward. “There was an incident, when we have a small walk in the park, but Nanoha is unhurt. I swear on the name of Bannigs!”
Momko turned her worried eyes toward blond girl.
“Incident, what a incident?”
“Uh…Eh…” Arisa gulped, she really doubt, that the answer: “attack of magic-created murderous homunculus” would be pleasant to Takamchi’s matriarch ears. “Well…”
“There was a surprise attack of magical construct in Ooka park, Takamachi-san. And your daughter and her friends were almost caught by it.” Nonchalantly blowing their cover knightmare frame pilot through his machine’s loudspeaker.
“WHAT?!!” Yelped Momoko, Kyoya and Miyuki at the same time. Nanoha, Arisa and Suzuka simultaneously shrink, lowering their heads. The cat was out of bag now!
“At the 7:20 AM, a central communicator of 45th police station receive an emergency message about appearance of hostile magical creature inside of recreation zone № 34 the Ooka Park. Our unit was dispatched for localization and neutralization of dangerous being.” Continued civil servant, protected from Arisa’s angry glare by knightmare armor.
If Nanoha didn’t know, that faint crimson glistering on anthropomorphic machine’s frame was reflection of info-line, she could swear it was lights from Bannigs heiress eyes.
Keeping her eyes on knightmare frame, young Takamachi find herself being both mortified and fascinated by human-like machine. Knightmare frames was symbol of Earth war machine – relentless enormous engine of doom, that grind countless lives into the ground, destroyed nations and razed thousands cities into dust. The truly tools destruction, a bringers of death.
Nanoha hated violence with passion. The numbers of good people, whom she knew, that was hurt or even killed in the never-ending conflicts was unpleasantly high. The reasons and conditions were different from one incident to another, but result were the same - the innocent peoples were harmed.
The history of humankind was filled with these horrible incidents, and she couldn’t understand how peoples could so fast to forget grave lessons of past and start another squabble over another petty reason. Wealth, fame, vengeance, greed, humans always could find another stupid excuse to hurt someone.
Nanoha admitted, that she could sound outright naïve, but why couldn’t all the humans, who very much liked to brag how they were gifted with wisdom and intellect, couldn’t find the way to leave in peace?
But still, she was forced to admit, that sometimes humans was forced to resort to brutal strength, in order to save their comrades, or prevent even larger incident from occurring. She herself was forced to fight with Arisa in the past, when she protected Suzuka from bulling.
Youngest Takamachi recognized the fact that despite violence-filled and bloody history of Earth Empire military, the armed forces fought valiantly in
last war, even when they were outnumbered and odds were against them, regardless of their origin.
Like guerilla campaign in the Antares star system, when small space fleet of Japan perform a daring operation three months in row against vastly superior numbers of enemy, stalling their advance in populous neighbor system; before they were eventually destroyed in bloody battle, when
enemy fleet figured out Japanese attack pattern.
Or bloody and brutal campaign on planets in Golen System, where Russian Coalition and Prussian Empire ground forces managed to break the spine of enemy hordes that could devastate entire star sector. Reports said, that more than five millions of soldiers perished in the man-eating campaign.
Or even Britannia army liberation of Japan Islands, when they were just one step away from destruction in mages hands, when they understood, that they lost the war.
And, in the end, it was Empire Armies that saved billions of lives and prevent humanity’s cradle, Earth, from destruction during the last days of Great Twilight Campaign.
“…Captain Ohgi ordered to escort miss Takamachi, miss Tsukimura and miss Banningha to miss Takamachi’s home.” Nanoha left world of dreams right before officer Minami concluded his report.
“Oh, Nanoha!” Cried Momoko, lunging forward and embarrassing her daughter. Yuuno barely had time to scuttle from Nanoha’s arms to her right shoulder
“Nanoha!” Red-haired woman shoulders start to shake, indicating that Takamachi matriarch start to cry. Nanoha gulped, feeling sharp prick of pain in heart, she hated when her momma cried. But it was something that she expected, after member of knightpolice tell her family about this evening event, to happen.
Her mother was an understanding woman and she never put a leash on her children, but she had a habit to crack when something bad really happened to Nanoha or her siblings. Even when this “something” was a mere common cold. Later, Momoko herself apologized for her behavior and, to make amend, how she said, tried to actually help her babies.
Momoko Takamachi was still haunted by death of her husband.
For a moment, Nanoha just stood still, enveloped by her mother’s hands, feeling her warmth, that sharply contrasted with cold air of street, courtesy of strong chilly wind, stunned by silent weeps. It’s really hurts, Nanoha, Miyuki and Kyoya hated to make their mother cry, even though sometimes she really crack at very insignificant reasons.
At pure instinct, she hugged her crying mother tightly, simply staying here, not saying a words, it was useless, she just need to allow Takamachi matriarch to calm down.
For a moments everyone simply stood, looking at sobbing mother, hugging her upset daughter, when suddenly silence was broken by sound of hydraulic system, when knightmare frame suddenly stood up. Seeing how suddenly eyes of Nanoha’s siblings suddenly shot wide, when they raised their heads a bit, Arisa and Suzuka quickly turned around and gasped almost at the same time.
In the sky above the Ooka park slowly floated pair of Caerleon-class sky frigates, illuminating mass of wood beneath them with powerful searchlights. Girls expect that incident would have a big impact, and numerous police cars and knightpolice frames, that they meet them on their road back to Midori-ya was a proof, but presence of army’s flying warships show them how serious the incident was.
“Good luck, citizens.” Come out officer Minami’s voice, as white knightmare frame whirled back for a bit and then deftly turned around, preparing to leave the area. “Have a good night.”
And with those words and high-pitched shriek metallic humanoid stormed away, leaving members of Takamachi family, two school girls and one mage-ferret on their own in the middle of empty street.
Momoko start to calm down, as if presence of armed unit was fuel of her inner turmoil, and lessened the grip on her youngest child body. Feeling their sister silent plea for help, Kyoya and Miyuki carefully approach to their mother and then sole male of Takamachi family slowly put his arm on Momoko’s right shoulder, while Miyuki checked Arisa and Suzuka conditions.
“Come on, Mother. It’s okay now.” Said Kyoya quietly, carefully tighten grip on his mother’s shoulder, trying to attract her attention, but without harming her. “Nanoha is unharmed, take it easy. We all hate to see you like that.”
“Uh… sorry.” Whimpered Takamachi matriarch, lifting her head from Nanoha chest, whipping tears with sleeve of left hand. “I…I know that I overreact… just like always…” Momoko smiled weakly at her children, making both of them cringe a little (and Yuuno too, who remain unmoving at Nanoha shoulder) – the oldest Takamchi looked like she met a oni god himself.
Her normally bright blue eyes, which would glimmer in shine streetlights, now became a bloodshot orbs, look almost black; two pith black abysses filled to the brims with fear and despair. And her usually elastic and bright skin now reminded an old parchment.
It’s never a nice view for children to see their mother in such state.
Thankfully, Momoko understand, that her behavior utterly not appropriate for woman of her age, and, moreover, it’s troublesome for everyone. So she let Nanoha go and swiftly sprung on her feet, adjusting her dress and fixing hairs, while looking apologetically at her son and youngest daughter.
Kyoya smiled slightly, giving his mother a small node, but then frowned a bit and turned toward his younger sister and his youngest sister’s friends. The trio still stood on place where girls landed, when they jump from KMF’s palm – right under streetlight.
“Hey, Arisa, Suzuka, are you two okay?” Asked Kyoya marching toward said two girls, which whom his sister, Miyuki, now talked, slightly bowing her head. Nanoha followed him, and after exchanging a words with Miyuki, she stood beside Arisa, so Miyuki could examine her body too with personal medi-scan.
Momoko also gasped, remembering that two girls also were involved in this incident together with Nanoha, and also were in dangerous situation. This thought were followed by massive wave of guilt washing over her – Arisa and Suzuka always show concern not only over Nanoha, but over all member of Takamachi family and even helps her nursing Kyoya and/or Miyuki when they got injured during their training sessions (and kami that happens often) and now she totally forgot about them.
“No-no, Kyoya-san.” Answered Suzuka, wavering her right hand, showing a little reassuring smile to Momoko. It make Momoko feel even worse, though – to think that younger girl would behave so mature, oldest Takamachi could only sigh and give Tsukimura heiress an apologetic smile.
“I really need to fix my mental problems.” Thought Momoko somberly. “Of course if it’s possible for me to be healed from the scars of that incident.”
“They not hurt.” Declared Miyuki, stepping back and putting, now deactivated, medi-scan into special slot on her belt.
“Wonderful!” Nodded Kyoya, smiling broadly – while he and Miyuki didn’t react as badly as their mother, they have a few very unpleasant moments when they heard that Nanoha was attacked. “Then how about we all go in and have already planned dinner together?”
“Yay!” Gleefully shouted Arisa, raising her left fist in the sky, her eyes glistered in the light of streetlights. Blond teenager always liked food in Nanoha’s house.
“But.” Kyoya slightly wavered a index finger of his right arm in the air. “Before that I want to know: what were you three thinking when you DID NOT dash out from the area, where something bad happened? You now, even here we heard something, though we not played serious attention. And please, don’t say that you and your friends, Nanoha, already played in the park and were caught by surprise attack: I know the time when you bus arrived, and officer Minami give us time when the first emergency call come to their station - they almost coincide. So, what spirit of stupidity posses all of you and force you to play super sentai girls?”
Nanoha exchange a cautious look with her friends, especially Arisa. They couldn’t tell her family true disposition of events. For all their kindness Kyoya, Miyuki and Momko, just like majority of entire EEUD’s population, share a deep settled grudge toward mages, and who know, what could happen to Yuuno if his true identity would be brought to light.
So, saying: We heard plea for help, that only we could hear. Track it’s source, find this ferret-turned-mage!” were out of question.
Carefully choosing her words, Nanoha started to explain:
“You’re right about that Kyoya-nii-san. We just started to walk deeper into park, when we saw panicing peoples running away from forest are of park and then we heard… something bad”. “A loud and terrific roar, to be specific.” Nanoha thought somberly.
“But then I saw this guy running right into the forest…” At those words Nanoha gently lift Yuuno from her shoulder and present tan-furred ferret to her family. “And simply couldn’t leave him alone.”
Youngest Takamachi could only desperately pray that her siblings and mother buy her story. She also tried her best not to sweat and quiver under her brother and sister piercing gazes.
After a few long seconds her family finally showed their opinion on this.
Reaction differs from one member of Takamachi family to another.
Kyoya signed resignedly slightly tilting his head, though deep inside of his eyes Arisa, Suzuka and Nanoha could see glimmer of entertainment.
“Oh kami, to think you would be impulsive and stupid enough to charge after panicing ferret in the obviously dangerous place.” Kyoya chuckled good-naturedly. “But it’s Nanoha we all know and love aren’t she?”
Miyuki shouted “Oh, he so cute!”, adoring small mammal, pressing her palm together in front of her chest.
Momoko stared straight at Yuuno, with shocked expression on her face.
“Could it be? It’s a… a ferret.” Tone of her voice rapidly shift from shocked to calm during this short sentence. Then her expression returned to usual gentleness with a hint of pity.
“Oh, you poor thing, I sure you was put through many troubles during your journey here?”
“You can’t even imagine how much, madam.” Thought Yuuno dryly.
Not hearing those words, Takamchi matriarch stretched her left hand a gently stroked ferret’s fur. Nanoha couldn’t help but giggle in joy hearing gentle “kyun-kyun” from the little mammal’s mouth, who sat at her palms.
“Hey, mom, it’s not fair to hog him only to you, I want to pet him too.” Protested Miyuki, puffing her cheeks in insanely cute manner, and then joined her mother in intriguing game “pamper-a-ferret”.
Arisa and Suzuka, mimicking Nanoha, giggled into their clenched fists, obviously relishing in heartwarming scene that occurred right before them.
Kyoya only smiled looking at girls antics (though, he also wanted to stroke a little rodent for a bit, but decide not to interference), then his gaze meet a red figures on street-screen, that show a current time and loudly clasped a few times, drawing attention of all present peoples.
“Now-now, girls, mom.” Declared Kyoya, tapping his right hand, where his PAD was locked. “It’s very late already, how about we all come inside and discuss today’s event at dinner”.
There was no objections and when all present girls (and ferret), moved insides, Kyoya, as Yuuno could see, when he climbed up at Nanoha shoulder (without missing opportunity to affectingly lick her cheek, much to girl delight), strode toward control panel, which was inbuilt into house wall and touch it few time.
Yuuno gulped slightly when, with a low hum, a massive slab of metal started to rise from the earth, blocking sole exit from yard. Seems that Nanoha’s family also took sentence “my hose - my stronghold” a bit too seriously. Just like all Britannians.
He could only hope that Nanoha’s family didn’t share Britannian opinion of what was the best method of treating the mages. As he was know, standard MO of entire Earth Empire when they encounter any mage, that didn’t have diplomatic immunity could be described by simple phrase.
Kill them all.
I can't believe it take me 6 weeks to write a 5 pages.. Damn you that lazyness of mine!
But describing Britannia Uminari was fun, for some reason.
Yuuno being a ear-bunny lawyer is kind of fun. And it's strange that Chrono was not able to sense Nanoha's magic potential.
Though, what's with the Ferret if Human Yuuno is already there?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Andarkoshi
Oh dear... I made an account but I'm too scared to really say anything...
Well let me just say that it is a pleasure to meet you all and I'll be in your care... and considering the kind of stuff I'll probably post PLEASE don't kill me...
I'm quite at welcoming you to our humble adobe, but oh well... welcome to the animesukiforums, new-comer. I hope you enjoy your stay in the forums, where people can debate and post stories to their heart's content.
And don't worry, the people here don't bite... The muses will...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Andarkoshi
Okay I won't be beating around the bush...
The story involves Emiya Shirou from Fate/Stay Night, much older Emiya Shirou who abandoned his ideals and began to live in Uminari City. One night when he was minding his business, walking down a street and snarking at his smartass device it started raining girls. Or to be more specific one girl, a cute blond little girl clad in clothing Most inappropriate for her young age.
The girl was hurt, Badly, internal damage, broken bones, not much of a chance to live for more than a few hours without proper medical care. After agonizing about whether to help her or not he finally decided in favour of saving her.
And that's the beginning of the story for Shirou and Fate Testarossa.
If you want a little spoiler... Fate is actually Shirou's biological daughter in story.... as much as Alicia is.
How it that plausible?
Time traveling? And who in the world did Alicia inherited her red eyes, and golden hair?
Just make the story, and make it believable to the readers as much as you possibly can. *raising the "Fund it" sign as high as possible.
Okay I won't be beating around the bush...
The story involves Emiya Shirou from Fate/Stay Night, much older Emiya Shirou who abandoned his ideals and began to live in Uminari City. One night when he was minding his business, walking down a street and snarking at his smartass device it started raining girls. Or to be more specific one girl, a cute blond little girl clad in clothing Most inappropriate for her young age.
The girl was hurt, Badly, internal damage, broken bones, not much of a chance to live for more than a few hours without proper medical care. After agonizing about whether to help her or not he finally decided in favour of saving her.
And that's the beginning of the story for Shirou and Fate Testarossa.
If you want a little spoiler... Fate is actually Shirou's biological daughter in story.... as much as Alicia is.
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Originally Posted by Mr Coin
How it that plausible?
It's a Nanoha/FSN fic. Anything's plausible.
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Originally Posted by Mr Coin
And who in the world did Alicia inherited her red eyes, and golden hair?
Biology is freaking weird when it comes to surprises, but at least in the eye color department I agree with you.
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Originally Posted by Mr Coin
Just make the story, and make it believable to the readers as much as you possibly can. *raising the "Fund it" sign as high as possible.
I'd also add to make sure you go from A>B>C instead of doing the writing equivalent of quantum tunneling and going straight from A>C. That B point helps flesh out C and is how characterization is done correctly. Otherwise you've got effects without actual causes. And for the love of god, whatever you do, be consistent and obey your own rules/logic. The last thing you want to do is write another Imagine Breaker or mind rape your readers via horrible, out of nowhere logic that leaves them scrambling to figure out what just happened and how.
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Originally Posted by Rising Dragon
Worried about character trauma? Spoken like someone who doesn't know about RadiantBeam or deathcurse. :k
Shush, you fool. Do you want our beloved characters to be tortured and mutilated even further than they already have been by those two?
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Originally Posted by Andarkoshi
Well being a newbie to this forum I'm excused for not knowing them... and I already fear them...
I wouldn't worry too much about it. RB is off busy in Beast's Lair and doesn't seem interested in AS anymore, and I haven't seen dc around for at least several months. But you should go look up their stories on ff.net anyway. They're good examples of writing, and the character trauma is unrivaled.
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Originally Posted by Andarkoshi
[folds his tentacles in front of his chest and fumes] Tch, an Eldritch Abomination can't even join a forum without being accused of Planning something. This is discrimination! Just because I have fondness for messing with time-space continuum and mind-raping it doesn't mean I'm always up to something!
You and I obviously haven't met.
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Originally Posted by Hoki
First, I want to say hello, as this will be my formal introduction to this fanfic thread
I'm Hoki... and that's about it.
Hope everyone here can help me with my works
I can already tell you'll fit right in.
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Originally Posted by Hoki
They're more like ideas at the moment, since I don't know how to start them yet.
I'd actually suggest doing random one shots of nothing in particular to start you off. Not only do they get you acclimated to the flow and ordering of a chapter, if/when you post them, we can help iron out any major writing or plotting problems early on instead of in the middle of a major fic project.
Because at least one certain person totally didn't need a sledgehammer to the head more than once to fix his problems once he'd gotten into the habit of committing them. I won't mention any mineral-related names.
2013-04-06, 18:22
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