2011-12-11, 01:40 | Link #2 |
Boo, you whore
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Arc 2 is out!
http://www.fictionpress.com/s/2976807/3/
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2012-10-22, 00:26 | Link #6 |
Boo, you whore
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Speedy's writing project; A California Love Song
I been writing stuff for a good while now, but they were generally awful quality because I tended to base them a lot on Japanese fan translations of light novels. So I decided to start over (AGAIN), and by not using fan translations as a base for stuff, hopefully this will work out a lot better than my last LN.
My "new story" isn't really new, honestly; it's a rewrite of my old novel Shadows Of Roses, with a much higher emphasis on plot rather than on randomness and switching POVs every 5 seconds. Anyways, on with the story... Short Summary; Spoiler for heh.:
Editor's note; this story will be rated R due to a lot of adult situations and profanity, but they won't be the majority of the story, I promise. The setting is San Francisco, California, tho keep in mind this does include the metro area (suburbs like Oakland and Fremont) and there will be sections/flashbacks that take place elsewhere. Also, yes, a lot of this novel is based on real life, and some of it on my online life (there's a few AS users/IRC guys in there when the IRC chat comes up, yeah.) I might release one chapter a week, but don't count 100% on it. Note; I also publish this story on FictionPress. Links to chapters; ================================================== =================================== Prologue; http://forums.animesuki.com/showthre...95#post4407395 Chapter 1, Part 1; http://forums.animesuki.com/showthre...03#post4426503
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Last edited by speedyexpress48; 2012-11-05 at 03:12. |
2012-12-03, 17:12 | Link #10 |
Obey the Darkly Cute ...
Author
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: On the whole, I'd rather be in Kyoto ...
Age: 66
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Still seems a lot like a sketch/outline where you're just trying to get ideas onto a blank page (in other words, it looks a lot like some of my early "sticky note" barrages when trying to decide how a chapter should go).
As a prologue, it lacks any introductory description of characters (what they look like, etc) or a setup on why any of this matters. They seem to spend a lot of time worrying about what type of car, we don't know why he was supposed to meet her on top of a building (to jump together? what?). What is she to him? If he knew she was thinking of jumping he seemed remarkably unconcerned? It might work better as a flashback after the reader knows the information? Please don't take this badly ... I'm just marking where I think it needs clarification, explanation, or expansion. I'm looking at my latest three chapters with a really jaundiced eye today (returns to chainsaw and mallet whacking of my own text).
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Last edited by Vexx; 2012-12-03 at 23:30. |
2012-12-04, 01:22 | Link #11 | |
Boo, you whore
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Quote:
Ugh, I need to get my mind off of things for a while...
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2012-12-04, 02:27 | Link #12 |
Obey the Darkly Cute ...
Author
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: On the whole, I'd rather be in Kyoto ...
Age: 66
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yeah, I should post one of my early drafts where I'm just throwing ideas down randomly to see what sticks just to demonstrate what my addled brain does when its flailing around trying to create a chapter. Sometimes I'm not even sure whose POV I should relate the events from at first.
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2012-12-04, 18:05 | Link #13 |
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Your imagination
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I like the sprinkling of comedy you threw in.
I see a few grammatical errors, but I find this prologue to be much more interesting than the last. I found the part of the previous prologue with the little girl to be confusing. I didn't understand the part where it described her tears as "made of water and blood combined." Was she injured, or was that just description? Just to make sure, I have to ask. This is the all the same story, right? Also, about how often do you write? |
2012-12-08, 01:38 | Link #15 | ||
Boo, you whore
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Quote:
Quote:
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Last edited by speedyexpress48; 2012-12-08 at 02:19. |
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2012-12-08, 01:57 | Link #16 |
Obey the Darkly Cute ...
Author
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: On the whole, I'd rather be in Kyoto ...
Age: 66
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Here's some snippets of one of my "white boards" where I'm just throwing things down. You'll see some stuff I used, some stuff I dropped, re-arranged, etc. I deleted any spoilers from my story.
Its kind of like text snippets as Legos, arrange, assemble, re-arrange, change parts. (yeah, ADD-wired here as well)
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Last edited by Vexx; 2013-04-04 at 18:12. Reason: edit to remove some spoilers |
2014-01-27, 01:23 | Link #18 |
Boo, you whore
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Ugh, this is old. But anyways, here's some Madoka scripts. Lowest level of writing, but I kinda lack inspiration and time right now.
http://forums.animesuki.com/showpost...&postcount=296 http://forums.animesuki.com/showpost...&postcount=299
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