2011-11-16, 02:18 | Link #7841 | |
Some say I'm the Reverse
Join Date: Jul 2006
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Reissue of Chapter 2 of IS Gaiden. Everything redone for the most part, kept and reworked the parts I thought worked. Removed unnecessary characters, focused more on Haruko for this chapter. First section:
Quote:
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2011-11-16, 02:18 | Link #7842 |
Head of FRACTURE R&D
Join Date: Oct 2011
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@ Eratas: Pack drama, and enough emotion into it but not enough that it makes it cheesy.
Write something that you feel will make an impact, trigger emotions in your readers. I made most of my friends cry when they read chapter 16 of HOTM, and I made myself cry as well. If it's enough to impact you, then it's enough to impact someone else. It's a heavy moment, so make it heavy. in my story, what I lack in detail, I try to make up for in characterization and the weight and amount of emotion in human interaction. |
2011-11-16, 02:22 | Link #7843 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
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@ Meister - He'd kill them if they try to do any yandere actions. It's self defensenif they attack first.
Side note - When does Maximillian come into the picture? @ Rain - Problem is I don't know how to. I'm not good with making scenes like that since I don't know how someone who's just starting to fear death again would feel. Irish is a person who's sense of life is weak, this means I can write his dialogue to be detached and unfeeling compared to the others. Him gaining back his fear of death is gonna be extremely difficult to write since his dialogue will be markedly different compared to his previous ones. @ Hawke - I'll read it in a bit.
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2011-11-16, 02:24 | Link #7844 | |
Some say I'm the Reverse
Join Date: Jul 2006
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One of my personal notes is that French Urban society tends to be pretentious--a lot like the stereotype most people have or Frenchpeople, but countryside French are very warm, down-to-earth people. Maybe try to emphasise the difference--the city-bred people from Dunois Industries, adn the countryside French that Charlotte grew up with... As for Ichika at Charu's Mom's grave, I'd best be careful that it doesn't come across as silly or tacked-on.
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2011-11-16, 02:30 | Link #7845 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
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@ Hawke - I don't think I have to worry about it being tacked on. IS is a random events plot so any romance would be pretty much accepted by the fanbase.
Side note - I already planned for the differences. Charlotte's village is extremely friendly and kids even run up to her and ask her where she went for example.
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2011-11-16, 02:30 | Link #7846 |
Head of FRACTURE R&D
Join Date: Oct 2011
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@ Eratas: Start with a slow transition. Maybe an offhand comment here and there about how he enjoys his life, numerous times through out the story. Then have him slowly change his character slightly, untill he makes the revelation.
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2011-11-16, 02:36 | Link #7847 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
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@ Rain - Thanks! Though I know I shouldn't put too much focus on him, I promised in the first chapter that it's about Ichika and the cast most. I don't know how to make Ichika's segments After the London arc, what should he do? It's gonna look retarded if he only has slice of life segments while the other two have missions.
@ Hawke - So I guess they don't trust <Ren> then? Not that I can blame them, considering how trigger happy she is.
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Last edited by Eratas123; 2011-11-16 at 02:53. |
2011-11-16, 03:06 | Link #7850 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
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That's odd, I can see it fine from my end... Did you update your flash player?
Anyway here, try this... Till I Collapse. |
2011-11-16, 04:03 | Link #7855 | |
Some say I'm the Reverse
Join Date: Jul 2006
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Actually, here's one song that could work for Laura:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ugBuiMQazrE Quote:
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2011-11-16, 04:06 | Link #7856 | |
~`Seito Kaichō`~
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: ~`Afterlife`~
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Quote:
PS. I'm suffering from sleep deprivation. I don't know why.
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2011-11-16, 05:32 | Link #7859 | |
Titans Test Team Pilot
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: The Elysium
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Quote:
Also, I don't think Tsurugi getting a Personal IS is gonna work out unless politics suddenly turn dense and oblivious to adding another Representative for Japan. ...then there's also Tabane. Either way, I already planned for an Original Unit for her. Will post details later. One more thing, Chapter 9's progressing, halfway
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Tags |
fanfic ideas, fanfiction, ff.net, harem, is fanfic, warning fanfic spoilers, wincest |
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